So I have a Date Tonight....

[TheOneBigWill]

We did have a drink first and it was all quite playful so I'm not sure about the whole gay best friend thing, but you could be onto something there.

Well, I'll put it this way. When you become such a nice guy to a female, you become the exact type of guy they don't want to date because even in their minds they think something could screw that up. So therefore, they'd rather keep you as their best friend whom they can come crying to.. instead of dating you, in fear that something could go wrong & they'd lose a great guy in the end.

It was just really strange, one minute she is telling me... that she really likes me and wants to start something, next minute I'm making an ass out of myself and she is telling me she wants to be friends... then the minute after that she's saying I'm amazing and kissing me, I mean seriously What the Fuck?

With how you worded that, I assume it wasn't as bad as you made it out to be. However, if it was.. then she only "rejected" the purposed idea of you two as a couple, because if you were an ass, it showed an immature side, & to my knowledge, no female wants to date a guy they can't assume would be mature.

Her skipping back & forth shows signs that she's uncertain on whether she wants to take the chance. It shows apart of her has thought about doing it, but a bigger part is simply holding her back for now, for some (currently) unknown reason.

Yeah I thought the same thing, sort of an invite that really isn't an invite, should have seen that one coming really. Thing was, I probably only spoke to her three times the entire time we were both there, which I would not class as clingy, would you? I also had another really bad thought, she kinda looked disappointed when I walked away from her when she left I think she might have been waiting for me to offer to walk her home, would have been a perfect opportunity to talk things out.

I think that if she jokingly said you should come along.. then when you showed up, it could've sparked a thought into her head in basically being.. "He's really hooked on me, so much that he took the chance at knowing I'd be here." In turn, that could show the girl that you're at a point of desperation because it could resemble that of a "lost puppy." Those are both the BAD ways to look at it, however..

And on the flip side, you said she somewhat looked disappointed, which could be a sign that she's waiting for you to take control & show an aggressive side, however I greatly urge you to use extreme caution in that mannor, as females (to me, anyways) are way to complex to understand in knowing if they want you to play strong at dating them, while they play hard to get.. or hold back, so they can actually think whether they'd want to date you or not. Thats what makes it such a screwed up "fork in the road."

Yeah, I mean I thought maybe she threw it in there because she is a bit scared of how quickly things are moving. Stupid thing is if she just said "John, lets just slow things down a bit, yeah?" I'd of been sure no worries. But no, women have to play these fucking mind games saying one thing and doing another.

And thus is the complex world of a female's mind. I seriously don't think they know what they want. They form an idea, they stick with it, but being the female that they are.. they mold it, shape it, & play with it.. making that idea turn into several hundred possibilities with both good, great, bad or worse outcomes. Thus.. they can't simply say "let's slow it down" because their minds refuse to slow down themselves. If that makes sense.

See I thought this was bollocks as well. I'm the one that is there five days a week, she only has to do the weekends, and most of the weekend staff dont have a clue whats going on around the water cooler so to speak. I dont mind taking the brunt of it, I even said that we could play it down and say we were just friends... which I guess we kinda are now.

My only conclusion to her not wanting others she works with to know that you two could remotely be anything more.. is because there may be another guy there, that she's curious about. Or, she just doesn't want an uncomfortable working environment. Honestly, I see this as more of a b.s. excuse than a real legit factor.

Yeah, I was talking to one of my female friends and she said that the whole just got out of a relationship thing would put her off. I really dunno how to reassure her, I do have one way but it could completely backfire in my face and make things 100% worse. I think in my efforts to play down my former relationship I've made her think that I dont really give a fuck about other people.

Thats the worst of both pathes. On one side, you can show that you really care.. & they could form the opinion that you're not over your ex & wanting to form any type of "emotion" toward anyone else, to try & move beyond the past.

Then, on the flip side.. if you push hard enough to show that you didn't care at all for your past relationship, she could form the opinion of wondering if it ended because you were too heartless.

There is no winning solution to this problem. Again, time is all there can ever be. If this girl likes you, she has to take that leap. Its a risk, its a chance. Love is one big risk.. & thats why its so powerful. You risk all you have, for a singular emotion. Love is more than a little powerful, & its something that has destroyed people before. Only she can make up her mind on whether you're worth that risk.

The string thing is interesting, see she seems so genuine that I never really thought that she could be playing me, I mean its entirely possible. Thing is she was saying that she was a bit hung up on a guy and that she didn't want to hurt me, and sort of said that if she wanted to wait for a bit and just hang out that that would be fine with me but I dunno, I guess I need to talk to her without being full of ridiculous amounts of alcohol.

What do you mean by that statement?

If she's hung up on another guy, it means she's unsure of her true emotions for you. I've been in this situation, & I wasn't the guy picked at first.. it hurt, stung & burned. But I remained her friend.. & in the end, it didn't work out with the girl I loved & the guy she picked.. & in turn, she seen how much of a great friend I had been to her, how much I had been there for her, & how much I still loved her.. & she wanted to take the chance on us.

Women are a fucking enigma. Stupid thing about this is, I took the break-up worst in my previous relationship, and now its my ex that is completely fucked up and I'm the one sort of dating an insanely hot girl (yeah she's hot... explains alot huh?).

I think thats the situation of karma. Your ex could've felt there was better out there, & wanted to take the risk of releasing you, for the option of better. Now she's paying the price of releasing a great guy.. for the unknown, & its currently biting her in return.

While you, on the other hand, have accepted (seemingly) what has happened in your previous relationship & want to move forward with your life. You're bigger, stronger & better than I was with that. It took me over half a year to get over my first love.. hell, I still harbor feelings. But the point I'm saying is..

Life doesn't pause with you. Life continues, whether you want to or not. So you either stand still & try to question everyday why things went wrong, or didn't work out.. or you move on, you live & learn, & that seems to be what you've done.

Profound words there dude. I guess at this point it could go either way and the worst part is I'm an impatient bastard so giving her some time is not going to be easy. I tend to just make things worse by throwing the odd text to the girl or giving her a bell when I shouldn't.

I think if you start randomly calling, or texting her.. you'll make it worse, because it'll add to the assumption that you'd be desperate. You don't want her to think that, as most females hate it. (again, been there)

A guy's patience can normally go for about two weeks, when it feels more like a full year. While a woman's patience can go for several monthes, & nothing can still end up resolved from all that time. That goes back to my theory of female's taking one thing, & stretching it into millions of possibilities, with several different end results, making them more unsure than when they first started.

I'm the one thats been messed up, go lube your ass up, your taking it!

The hell man?! I'll give you a jerk & tickle for feeling down, but you're gonna have to be on the edge of death before I let you ram my ass. Oh, but since you wanna play that way.. then I get to unload on your face. Its only fair.