So I have a Date Tonight....
- Thread starter Jonny B
- Start date
TheOneBigWill
[This Space for Rent]
Need more information. Are you looking for a nice in & out? If so, condoms..
Really though, do you have any extra information?
Moon Knight
Original Prince of Darkness
You don't need our help! You are the man! Just be you and she will be putty in your hands!
TheOneBigWill
[This Space for Rent]
Okay, apparently he posted this & got back offline. lol So, just to throw it out there..
Whenever I had a first date, beyond the nervousness.. I tried my hardest to be romantic. (never worked, mind you)
1. Gifts: Flowers are nice, & really one of the only gifts you could go for, but sometimes a bit extreme. Its a half/half situation, as some girls will love that you brought her flowers on a first date.. while others will think you're INSTANTLY clingy & possessive. (yeah, the latter part f's with my mind too.. but I was told by one of my female friends that whenever she gets flowers on a first date.. she feels the guy is "too desperate")
You could also think about chocolates, or a single rose. I like single roses, its not to "much" & kinda gives out the "I wanna be romantic" point, without adding 11 more saying.. "Yeah, I'm just happy to be here, thank you."
2. Restaurant: Classy is key. Personally, I love McDonald's.. but apparently its not first date material. Who knew?! ("Order anything off the dollar menu baby, I got a $10.00 spot with your name on it." Apparently that statement isn't exactly a "wooo" type of thing anymore?!)
So, personally.. Chili's would be a nice restaurant to go. If you don't have one, then just any normal middle class place. TOO fancy & once again, you fall into that "trying to hard, must be desperate" catagory.
3. Conversation: Stick with the general "get to know you" questions. DO NOT go into previous relationship areas.. its a danger zone, I swear.. if YOU get sucked in.. you risk either pissing her off by taking about your ex (been there) or you get sucked into learning way to early that you'll never live up to her ex. (been there, too)
I'm really not a skilled talker when it comes to first dates.. so this is a bad area for me. I get completely nervous, all jittery, sometimes I ramble.
4. Movie: In my opinion, the best way to do a first date. It limits the conversation you have, that way you don't make an ass out of yourself accidentally on the first try.. & you might even get to wrap an arm around her. (those were the best) You almost must gauge her reaction before trying that though.. sometimes, the arm around thing is too much, too soon.. gives off the "vibe" that you want sex. (unless thats really all you do want, then, go for it without care or caution)
5. Her Choice: I'll make every decision of the night if she wants me to, but the general rule of thumb (so to speak) is to ask what she'd like to do first. Allow her the option of mapping out your date.
I don't know it for a fact, but over the course of my life I've basically come up with the understanding that Females LOVE to control you. So let them.
6. End of the Night: Okay, the romantic storybook movie ending would be a kiss. This is another danger zone in my opinion. I hate more than anything gauging the reaction of a female on whether I should attempt kissing her or not.
My first girlfriend, our first date I went in for a kiss.. I got a hand, palm, right all in my face. It wasn't pretty, I felt like a jackass. She didn't agree with kissing on a first date, yet she wore a really short mini-skirt in winter.. explanation?! I have none. However, I learned from that. Never EVER went for a "first date/kiss" again, without knowing thats what SHE wanted.
Then, theres the ackwardness of it. Trying to move in.. then missing the lips, getting a nose, eye.. arm!? Yeah, don't close your eyes when you're way over here & she's still over there.. sucks, majorly. You feel even worse than had you of gotten the "in your face" palm thrust.
I would purely assume you should know pretty much how to do all this stuff.. & what to do in those case situations.. but this is pretty much here for anyone else who doesn't know..
I was horrible with first dates. Butterflies, constantly wanting to make the best impression I could, without being fake about who I am. My stomach is starting to hurt right now, just thinking about the past. eh.. I wish you the best of luck & hope everything goes well.
Whenever I had a first date, beyond the nervousness.. I tried my hardest to be romantic. (never worked, mind you)
1. Gifts: Flowers are nice, & really one of the only gifts you could go for, but sometimes a bit extreme. Its a half/half situation, as some girls will love that you brought her flowers on a first date.. while others will think you're INSTANTLY clingy & possessive. (yeah, the latter part f's with my mind too.. but I was told by one of my female friends that whenever she gets flowers on a first date.. she feels the guy is "too desperate")
You could also think about chocolates, or a single rose. I like single roses, its not to "much" & kinda gives out the "I wanna be romantic" point, without adding 11 more saying.. "Yeah, I'm just happy to be here, thank you."
2. Restaurant: Classy is key. Personally, I love McDonald's.. but apparently its not first date material. Who knew?! ("Order anything off the dollar menu baby, I got a $10.00 spot with your name on it." Apparently that statement isn't exactly a "wooo" type of thing anymore?!)
So, personally.. Chili's would be a nice restaurant to go. If you don't have one, then just any normal middle class place. TOO fancy & once again, you fall into that "trying to hard, must be desperate" catagory.
3. Conversation: Stick with the general "get to know you" questions. DO NOT go into previous relationship areas.. its a danger zone, I swear.. if YOU get sucked in.. you risk either pissing her off by taking about your ex (been there) or you get sucked into learning way to early that you'll never live up to her ex. (been there, too)
I'm really not a skilled talker when it comes to first dates.. so this is a bad area for me. I get completely nervous, all jittery, sometimes I ramble.
4. Movie: In my opinion, the best way to do a first date. It limits the conversation you have, that way you don't make an ass out of yourself accidentally on the first try.. & you might even get to wrap an arm around her. (those were the best) You almost must gauge her reaction before trying that though.. sometimes, the arm around thing is too much, too soon.. gives off the "vibe" that you want sex. (unless thats really all you do want, then, go for it without care or caution)
5. Her Choice: I'll make every decision of the night if she wants me to, but the general rule of thumb (so to speak) is to ask what she'd like to do first. Allow her the option of mapping out your date.
I don't know it for a fact, but over the course of my life I've basically come up with the understanding that Females LOVE to control you. So let them.
6. End of the Night: Okay, the romantic storybook movie ending would be a kiss. This is another danger zone in my opinion. I hate more than anything gauging the reaction of a female on whether I should attempt kissing her or not.
My first girlfriend, our first date I went in for a kiss.. I got a hand, palm, right all in my face. It wasn't pretty, I felt like a jackass. She didn't agree with kissing on a first date, yet she wore a really short mini-skirt in winter.. explanation?! I have none. However, I learned from that. Never EVER went for a "first date/kiss" again, without knowing thats what SHE wanted.
Then, theres the ackwardness of it. Trying to move in.. then missing the lips, getting a nose, eye.. arm!? Yeah, don't close your eyes when you're way over here & she's still over there.. sucks, majorly. You feel even worse than had you of gotten the "in your face" palm thrust.
I would purely assume you should know pretty much how to do all this stuff.. & what to do in those case situations.. but this is pretty much here for anyone else who doesn't know..
I was horrible with first dates. Butterflies, constantly wanting to make the best impression I could, without being fake about who I am. My stomach is starting to hurt right now, just thinking about the past. eh.. I wish you the best of luck & hope everything goes well.
More Information....
Okay so its technically a second date, we hung out on Saturday, got some lunch and all that jazz. We kinda both agreed that we like each other so there isn't really an aspect of not knowing whats going on. The only pain in the ass there is really is that I've not long got out of a relationship and she thinks I'm on the rebound (which is not true, I've liked this girl for fucking ages).
Er... the date itself, we are keeping it quite casual, going out for a few drinks we both have to be up early tomorrow so it probably wont be a late one. To be honest I'm quite comfortable with dates, I dont know why but I dont tend to get very nervous, its just hard to gauge what we both want from tonight, personally I intend to go in for the kiss but I'm not sure if its a bit too soon.
Damn women.
Okay so its technically a second date, we hung out on Saturday, got some lunch and all that jazz. We kinda both agreed that we like each other so there isn't really an aspect of not knowing whats going on. The only pain in the ass there is really is that I've not long got out of a relationship and she thinks I'm on the rebound (which is not true, I've liked this girl for fucking ages).
Er... the date itself, we are keeping it quite casual, going out for a few drinks we both have to be up early tomorrow so it probably wont be a late one. To be honest I'm quite comfortable with dates, I dont know why but I dont tend to get very nervous, its just hard to gauge what we both want from tonight, personally I intend to go in for the kiss but I'm not sure if its a bit too soon.
Damn women.
TheOneBigWill
[This Space for Rent]
If you both know you like each other, beyond a normal friendship.. then its unlike any original first date, or second date. Its more like you're beginning a relationship that hasn't been announced.. yet.
The only way to make it clear, that you aren't on the rebound is to express your feelings toward this girl, & completely put the past in the back of your mind. This type of things takes time, & time is all you can wait on for your "date" to come to realize you're true about liking her & not using her for a rebound.
I'm assuming you mean its hard to gauge whether it could go beyond a casual meeting, & into something like.. sex? Personally, I think that'd be jumping back into that whole "rebound" thing, because to me it'd seem like you were really trying to sleep with the first girl you could, just to get the past behind you.
Then again, you said you've liked this girl for a while.. & if she knows that, & wants to take the night beyond drinks.. then thats a decision both of you will have to make. (Just keep in mind, if you aren't wanting it to be a rebound/one night thing.. understand that the sex has to be on the level of knowing you'll want the relationship to possibly go further. Unless SHE just wants a one night thing, then I have no clue.)
Kissing on a second date isn't too soon, & again.. its spread throughout this post. You said you like this girl, she (I assume) likes you. You said both of you feel remotely the same, beyond a normal friendship about this matter.
With all that being said, kissing would be almost expected on a second date, I would think?! Can't see if you're both on the same level about things being more than normal, why a kiss would ruin that. Better make sure (somehow) that, that is definately what she wants.. (nevermind, too much thinking will only ruin things worse)
A kiss seems right on a second date, in this situation. (my personal opinion, anyways)
justinsayne
Cody Rhodes is an excellant
So thats what I've been doing wrong!!, haha
haha...nice! I think guys underestimate the power of scent. Either they smell like they showered in cologne or they smell like sweat. Find a happy medium, guys.
Thats what I was afraid of... nah I kid that pretty much sums it up.
Check... done that already.
I wasn't specifcally saying sex as such, I'm just not sure if it's going to turn into one of those date type dates if that makes any sense.
My thoughts exactly, seems like we are on the same page dude.
M
Melon Farmer
Guest
Would taking a shower, with soap and lots of it and shampoo and then when you are getting dressed....2 shpritzes (sprays) of cologne on ur neck...is that a good medium?
That would be appropriate. Maybe just one good spritz of cologne would do.
and NO!!!!!! cheap Cologne.
HBK-aholic
Shawn Michaels ❤
Lol, I agree with that soo much. Personally I'm a fan of the Jean Paul Gualtier fragrance for men. That makes me want a guy so much...haha
justinsayne
Cody Rhodes is an excellant
Well we know what Wills gonna be stocking up on, LOL
Well I thought they were referring to cologne, but i could be mistaken. I don't where Cologne, just some body spray. Well i do have some very very expensive Cologne, but that is only for special occasions
So I figure an update might be in order...
We didn't end up going out on Monday, we both lacked funds to anything of any note and she had some Uni work she needed to finish up, which was fine. So we decided to go for lunch Yesterday. Lunch turned into her dragging me around the town center looking for a dress for her Christmas meal which was last night, that was fine by me I don't really get bothered about being dragged around shops never have and we were having a good laugh. We went our separate ways in the late afternoon which is when it got a bit awkward, I kinda went in for the kiss, and it didn't go so well, I got a kiss back but it was more like a kiss you would give to a friend or something not exactly what I was looking for.
Okay so she was going to this meal last night, and I ended up round my friends drinking beer and playing Halo (as you do) she was going to one of the student pubs in my city after her meal so me in my infinite wisdom decided it would be a great idea to head that way at about 10pm knowing that I had to be up for work at 5am. We got there and the drinks were flowing and I figured I would just leave her alone (she didn't know I was there) and wait for us to kinda run into each other, which after about half hour we did. Didn't exactly get the welcome that I wanted which I was taken back a bit by, she seemed more shocked than anything to see me, despite saying earlier in the day that I should come along. We talked for a bit, then I went off with my friends drank some more, went back to her etc... it went like that until about half 12 when she decided to leave. Again being the fucking genius that I was I decided to jokingly ask for a proper kiss I thought it might be cute and what not... and then she dropped the fucking F-Bomb... "I think we should just be friends"... I was like "shit". So we talked for a little bit and I said that I really liked her and I thought that she really liked me, she replied that she did really like me and that she thought I was an "amazing" guy, so my reply to that was "whats the fucking problem then" (I dont know if those were my exact words, might not have used the fucking) she then proceeded to tell me that she didn't think she was over her ex and didn't want to hurt me, which is fine. She also said that she didn't want people gossiping at work (we work together BTW) which considering we'd gone shopping where we work that day and pretty much announced that we were, or getting close to being a couple was a mute point as everyone was already (and still are) talking.
She has also expressed that she is worried that I'm not over my ex, which is bollocks and I keep trying to tell her that even if my ex turned up on my doorstep wearing nothing but chocolate sauce I would tell her to fuck off (well I might not be that harsh, but I'd turn her down). So being that I'd had a ridiculous amount of alcohol I decided to tell her that I really liked her again and then she hugged me... said that she had to go, kissed me then left. WTF? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with women today? One minute she is telling me we should just be friends, then she is telling me she really likes me and that she has an ex she needs to get over before we get together (which I'm cool with) then she kisses me... which is all I fucking wanted anyway? What might appear to be anger is simply confusion... she was saying that we should finish the conversation when we were both sober (she meant me... she wasn't really drunk at all) which I'm cool with, but not she wants to call me tomorrow and talk about things, so I have to wait two days to find out whats going on.
I seriously hate women, I'm thinking of going Gay... any takers?
We didn't end up going out on Monday, we both lacked funds to anything of any note and she had some Uni work she needed to finish up, which was fine. So we decided to go for lunch Yesterday. Lunch turned into her dragging me around the town center looking for a dress for her Christmas meal which was last night, that was fine by me I don't really get bothered about being dragged around shops never have and we were having a good laugh. We went our separate ways in the late afternoon which is when it got a bit awkward, I kinda went in for the kiss, and it didn't go so well, I got a kiss back but it was more like a kiss you would give to a friend or something not exactly what I was looking for.
Okay so she was going to this meal last night, and I ended up round my friends drinking beer and playing Halo (as you do) she was going to one of the student pubs in my city after her meal so me in my infinite wisdom decided it would be a great idea to head that way at about 10pm knowing that I had to be up for work at 5am. We got there and the drinks were flowing and I figured I would just leave her alone (she didn't know I was there) and wait for us to kinda run into each other, which after about half hour we did. Didn't exactly get the welcome that I wanted which I was taken back a bit by, she seemed more shocked than anything to see me, despite saying earlier in the day that I should come along. We talked for a bit, then I went off with my friends drank some more, went back to her etc... it went like that until about half 12 when she decided to leave. Again being the fucking genius that I was I decided to jokingly ask for a proper kiss I thought it might be cute and what not... and then she dropped the fucking F-Bomb... "I think we should just be friends"... I was like "shit". So we talked for a little bit and I said that I really liked her and I thought that she really liked me, she replied that she did really like me and that she thought I was an "amazing" guy, so my reply to that was "whats the fucking problem then" (I dont know if those were my exact words, might not have used the fucking) she then proceeded to tell me that she didn't think she was over her ex and didn't want to hurt me, which is fine. She also said that she didn't want people gossiping at work (we work together BTW) which considering we'd gone shopping where we work that day and pretty much announced that we were, or getting close to being a couple was a mute point as everyone was already (and still are) talking.
She has also expressed that she is worried that I'm not over my ex, which is bollocks and I keep trying to tell her that even if my ex turned up on my doorstep wearing nothing but chocolate sauce I would tell her to fuck off (well I might not be that harsh, but I'd turn her down). So being that I'd had a ridiculous amount of alcohol I decided to tell her that I really liked her again and then she hugged me... said that she had to go, kissed me then left. WTF? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with women today? One minute she is telling me we should just be friends, then she is telling me she really likes me and that she has an ex she needs to get over before we get together (which I'm cool with) then she kisses me... which is all I fucking wanted anyway? What might appear to be anger is simply confusion... she was saying that we should finish the conversation when we were both sober (she meant me... she wasn't really drunk at all) which I'm cool with, but not she wants to call me tomorrow and talk about things, so I have to wait two days to find out whats going on.
I seriously hate women, I'm thinking of going Gay... any takers?
TheOneBigWill
[This Space for Rent]
Jonny, it sounds like right off the bat she's turned you into her gay best friend. I know that likely sounds bad, & some female's LOVE for their boyfriends/fiance'/husband's to go shopping with them..
Ah, it sucks completely to be in that spot. I've been there. I felt like such an ass. I felt embarassed because I left myself wide open for something.. & in return got an ackward look, & a peck on the cheek. I don't know if you got the cheek peck, or a simple peck on the lips.. but I know how badly it feels.
Sounds like she was being nice in saying "You should join." But when you actually did, it may of accidentally made her think you're becoming "clingy" that is a very dangerous zone to be in, especially if this female doesn't like clingy guys!
Gawd, man, I've so fucking been there. I hate that more than anything. Its like.. you want to express your love & you want to show that you wanna spend time with her.. but if she is simply being nice, instead of telling you the truth on her feelings, then it just makes you look more ackward.
This (to me) could be a two part thing.
1. If she felt you were drunk, she may not of liked being approached in that mannor.
2. Going back to the being nice thing.. this is her tolerence level hitting a point, to where she had to drop the "F-riend's" Bomb as being the last "nice thing" she could say.
The whole issue of people talking at work is a lame ass excuse & she needs to be slapped. Thats such a chicken shit answer from a Woman who doesn't want to address the situation, until she's had time (which from what I've read further down, she will have had) to come up with something clever & nice to say.. all while still crushing your heart like a bug under a shoe.
Remember me bringing up this issue? Yeah.. again, tremendously sucks.. but a female is just as scared as a (sensative) male is, in not wanting to get hurt. She's protecting herself from making sure the emotions & feelings you have, are true.. & only time is going to prove that to her. Unfortunately, she's at a point to where if YOU want her, YOU more or less have to wait & wait until she's ready.
But she on the other hand, can go screw around, because she's not actually tied to you, or promised you anything. Which is truly crap. If she cares about you, she'll wait along with you to see where it might lead.
I can't speak for this, because I have a theory that likely isn't anywhere near being true. I think all female's are out to hurt me, about as much as DIAR said he used to think he was going to be demodded.
My theory is that she says she cares about you, to keep you on the "string," yet she hasn't promised you, or officially said anything.. which allows her to continue searching for a better option.
If you look at another female during this time, & seem like you could remotely be interested in any other female.. chances are, she'll cut the string, because she'll feel you wouldn't be truly devoted.. yet if SHE dates other guys, or goes out with other guys.. you aren't allowed to be upset, or jealous.. instead, you have to continue being her "best friend" showing her how much you care.
I'm telling you, female's (through my mind) are a huge amount of work.. & sometimes I sit & question for what? Sex is great.. but there is a line thats drawn in the sand, about exactly how much crap you should have to take, before realizing that your hand will do the job.. & won't bitch you out when you don't mentally understand what she's thinking.
Like I mentioned earlier. I think she's saying this, so she can sit & think about what she wants. Whether she wants to try something with you, or if not, so she has plenty of time to come up with a very nice way to make it seem like its not you.. its her. And because of that, it can never be.
Well, anal is good & all.. but I'm not for the receiving end of it. I mean, a finger in the butt every once in a while when I'm kinky.. but if we hook up.. I purely wanna make sure you know, it'll be me giving it to you.. which, I like you, so I think it'd be fine.
We did have a drink first and it was all quite playful so I'm not sure about the whole gay best friend thing, but you could be onto something there.
It was just really strange, one minute she is telling me... that she really likes me and wants to start something, next minute I'm making an ass out of myself and she is telling me she wants to be friends... then the minute after that she's saying I'm amazing and kissing me, I mean seriously What the Fuck?
Yeah I thought the same thing, sort of an invite that really isn't an invite, should have seen that one coming really. Thing was, I probably only spoke to her three times the entire time we were both there, which I would not class as clingy, would you? I also had another really bad thought, she kinda looked disappointed when I walked away from her when she left I think she might have been waiting for me to offer to walk her home, would have been a perfect opportunity to talk things out.
Yeah, I mean I thought maybe she threw it in there because she is a bit scared of how quickly things are moving. Stupid thing is if she just said "John, lets just slow things down a bit, yeah?" I'd of been sure no worries. But no, women have to play these fucking mind games saying one thing and doing another.
See I thought this was bollocks as well. I'm the one that is there five days a week, she only has to do the weekends, and most of the weekend staff dont have a clue whats going on around the water cooler so to speak. I dont mind taking the brunt of it, I even said that we could play it down and say we were just friends... which I guess we kinda are now.
Yeah, I was talking to one of my female friends and she said that the whole just got out of a relationship thing would put her off. I really dunno how to reassure her, I do have one way but it could completely backfire in my face and make things 100% worse. I think in my efforts to play down my former relationship I've made her think that I dont really give a fuck about other people.
The string thing is interesting, see she seems so genuine that I never really thought that she could be playing me, I mean its entirely possible. Thing is she was saying that she was a bit hung up on a guy and that she didn't want to hurt me, and sort of said that if she wanted to wait for a bit and just hang out that that would be fine with me but I dunno, I guess I need to talk to her without being full of ridiculous amounts of alcohol.
Women are a fucking enigma. Stupid thing about this is, I took the break-up worst in my previous relationship, and now its my ex that is completely fucked up and I'm the one sort of dating an insanely hot girl (yeah she's hot... explains alot huh?).
Profound words there dude. I guess at this point it could go either way and the worst part is I'm an impatient bastard so giving her some time is not going to be easy. I tend to just make things worse by throwing the odd text to the girl or giving her a bell when I shouldn't.
I'm the one thats been messed up, go lube your ass up, your taking it!
