Simpsons Quotes

[Stein Lager]

The MOST quotable show ever. So quote it.


"Gentlemen, I give you Brittania! Gambling with all the glitz and glamour of the British Isles. Best of all, the waitresses and showgirls are all real Brits -- fresh from the streets of Sussex, they are."

"Freshen your drink, Guv'ner?"

 

[X]

One that I chuckled at the other day is when Mr. Burns says "I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!" to a judge in the middle of a trial for running over Bart.

 

[¡Roján!]

''To continue press any key'' ''Where's he any key?''

 

[.]

*Various hippies are protesting Mr. Burn's biological lab*

"Your FLOWER power is no match for my GLOWER power"

*Burns pulls an angry face and the hippies run*

 

[LamaNamaneumi]

It taste like burning.- Ralph

I say that when ever I eat something that's to hot.

 

[Daniel]

"Bill, bill, bill... ooh, llib! Wait a minute... BILL!"

 

[Diet Soda]

Lisa needs braces...
DENTAL PLAN!
Lisa needs braces...
DENTAL PLAN!
Lisa needs braces...
DENTAL PLAN!

 

[The Rob]

Principle Skinner: "First academic alert, Wiggum, Ralph".
Ralph Wiggum: "I WON! I WON!"
Principle Skinner: "No, no Ralph, this means your failing English".
Ralph Wiggum: "Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

 

[Davi323]

Homer: I am so smart...I am so smart. SMRT I mean SMART.

Homer: No TV and no beer makes Homer go something something...
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!

Homer: Mmmmmmmm.....sacrilicous.

and two from the lemon tree episode:
Milhouse: ehhhh so this is what it's like when doves cry!

Shelbyville father: Shake harder, boy!

 

[BK Styles]

"You call that a knife ? *brandishes spoon* THIS is a knife."

"That's not a knife, that's a spoon."

"AH! I see you've played knifey spooney before!"

 

[George Steele's Barber]

Homer: "They have the internet on computers now?"

 

[The Rob]

"It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography".

 

[Fire Marshall Bill]

Chief Wiggum: "Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort. Heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless! I repeat, hatless!"

 

[The Rob]

"You will have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel!"

 

[Poop Master Flex]

"So I went to take the babysitter home and I saw her sweet can, I grabbed her sweet can, oh just thinking about her can, her sweet, sweet, sw, sw, sweet can!"

"So Mr. Simpson you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have to say in your defense?"

Homer in freeze frame

" Mr. Simpson your silence will only incriminate you further"

Same freeze frame. Freeze frame slowly moes closer to the TV screen

"No Mr. Simpson, don't take your anger out on me, get back, get back. Mr. Simpson Nooooooooooo"

"Dramitization may not have happened"

 

[Lee]

I love when Bart follows Moe into the adult section of the movie store and it's all arty movies rather than porn.

On the episode where Rev Lovejoy leaves town after Homer gets the church:

Kent: Good evening. Springfield is still grappling tonight with the departure of Reverend Timothy Lovejoy, local Bible nut. How is our community coping with this spiritual vaccuum? Let's ask Arnie Pye in the Sky!

Arnie: You wanna know what I see, Kent? I see a slow news day with nothing to fill it!

Kent: Arnie, you're supposed to be filming people coping with the loss of their church!

Arnie: And how am I suposed to do that? Do I have a magic lens that can see into peoples SOULS? Well, yours would be BLACK, Kent! BLACK AS THE ACE OF SPADES!!!

 

[Matth3w]

Mr. Burns: 'Are you saying Boo or Boo-urns?'
Everyone: 'Booooooooo'
(Cut to) Hans Moleman: 'I was saying Boo-urns'

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

Bart - "Take him away boys."

Chief Wiggum - "Hey! I get to say that... bake him away toys."

Lou - "What'd you say Chief?"

Wiggum - "...do what the boy says."

 

[BK Styles]

...Mr Plow...that's my name...that name again; it's Mr Plow...

 

[Poop Master Flex]

Lou: It looks like an explosion at the old Simpson's place"

Chief Wiggum: Forget it, thats 2 blocks away.

Lou: It looks like there is beer coming out of the chimney.

Chief Wiggum: I'm preceding on foot, radio for backup!

Lou: We need pretzels, I repeat pretzels!

 

[Stein Lager]

Mr. Burns: "Smithers, i've designed a new plane, I call it the Spruce Moose, it will carry 200 passengers from New York's Eidlywilde to the Belgian Congo in 17 minutes!!"

Smithers: "That's quite a nice model sir.."

Mr. Burns: "Model?!"


---------------------------------


Mr. Burns: "We'll take the spruce moose! Hop in!!"

Smithers: "But, sir...."

Mr. Burns: *cocks a gun* "I said hop in"

 

[The Rob]

Mind if I quote from the movie?

Lisa: I can't think of anything that could ruin this perfect moment...
Bart: LISA'S GOT A BOYFRIEND, THAT SHE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN!
*punch*

 

[Daniel]

Lisa: "You're gay for Moleman."

Bart: "You're gay for Moleman."

Moleman: "No one's gay for Moleman..."

 

[Dowdsy McDowds]

Mr Burns - "Ahoy-hoy?"

Mr Burns - "Ketchup? Catsup? Ketchup? Catsup? ...are you here to help me solve me ketchup problem?"

Mr Sparkle employee - "Hey chief, let's talk why not?"

 

[Fire Marshall Bill]

Homer: Okay Mr. Burns Here are your messages: "You have thirty minutes to move your car." "You have ten minutes to move your car." "Your car has been impounded." "Your car has been crushed into a cube." "You have thirty minutes to move your cube."
Homer: [Phone Rings] Hello?
Mr. Burns: Is it about my cube?