*sips his hot cocoa*
Me: Mmmmm! Me love me some hot cocoa! WOOT! Now to browse the forums and...
Me: LESIBANS!? LEBSIANS!? LESABANS!? THIS WILL NOT STAND!!
*spills hot cocoa on his crotch*
Me: OH SHIT!! Must leave post regarding stupid topic, but must also alleviate immense pain from ball sack! I'll just pour some salt on the wound so it won't... OH FUCK!!
*calls 911*
Operator: Hello, this is your friendly 911 operator Vince McMahon!
Me: My balls are burning!
Vince: That's nice. Say! Could you help settle an argument I'm having with my lovably stupid son in law?
Me: I can smell my ball flesh cooking!
Vince: My son in law is a little slow you see. He seems to believe that the WWE would see a ratings increase if AJ Lee and Paige have an extended make out session with brief moments of fondling and..
Me: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I NEED AN AMBULANCE NOW!
Vince: Moaning. I on the other hand am more partial to another Billy and Chuck angle so...
Me: I AM GOING TO WALK AWKWARDLY TO THE BURN WARD MYSELF!! GOOD DAY SIR!!
Vince: Imagine if Rybaxel and 3MB were having an especially slippery session of greco roman wrestling when suddenly "OOPS!" it slips in and...
Me: I SAID GOOD DAY!!