Sam Watches Beyond The Mat

[Uncle Sam]

I have never seen this documentary before, which means I've never seen Vince McMahon put a bin on a table and scream at Darren Drozdov until he throws up in it.

So it's going well so far.

 

[Uncle Sam]

This indie promoter is carnie as fuck, though that rather goes with the territory.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I feel like with the five documentaries the WWE produces about itself a week, I'm not quite being impacted by this as I would have if I'd seen it at the time of release. Mind you, you're not going to see Droz throwing up into a bin on the WWE Network. Well, you are, but probably not Vince standing over him and screaming at him to do it.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I nearly took my girlfriend to see this as an introduction to wrestling. This entire Terry Funk section confirms that that was a bullet dodged.

"But isn't Mick Foley lovely, darling?" "Yeah, but he just had his head caved in by his mate."

 

[Uncle Sam]

Joey Styles doing a promo while Paul E's mum does the ironing behind the camera was very funny. A movie about Paul Heyman and ECW could be great. You'd kill a man if Heyman hyped you up for two minutes beforehand.

 

[Uncle Sam]

A recurring theme:

A soft-spoken, polite, friendly family man who screams dementedly at the camera and who performs such dangerous stunts that his family are moved to tears.

 

[Uncle Sam]

"Jake told us straight up that if we didn't get him some crack that he wasn't going to come to our show."

Oof. Even as someone who sat through a good portion of DDP's documentary, that came as a shock.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Was this the first time that Jake revealed that he was a child of rape? I'm thinking there's literally not a worse introduction to professional wrestling. Sure is compelling though.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Chyna and Jesse Ventura are genuinely inspirational. I know Jesse's a bit of an oddball, if not the world's most interesting man, and Chyna's dead, but they're the two aspects of the film that don't make me want to break down in tears so far.

"And then... there was New Jack."

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

 

[Uncle Sam]

New Jack had four justifiable homicides? Also "sexuality and charm" - according to a casting director - apparently. Well, that's another surprise.

 

[Uncle Sam]

I don't think the lesson here is "Terry Funk retires a lot" but "Wrestlers really like Terry Funk."

Dennis Stamp's desperation is palpable. One could empathize if he didn't come over as a fantasist and a manipulator.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Mick brings his kids to see his I Quit match against The Rock. Yeah, I know how this one goes.

Seeing Mick and Rock talking through the spots is fascinating.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Watching Mick's sobbing children is really hard and has justifiably ruined one of my favourite matches for me.

 

[Uncle Sam]

As of the end-of-film wrap-up: Droz is a WWF regular, ECW is still going strong, and Terry Funk has retired again.