LODemolition
Championship Contender
Actual results:
1. Razor Ramon def. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase
2. Tag Team Championship: The Steiner Brothers (c) def. The Heavenly Bodies (w/ Jim Cornette)
3. Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels (c) w/ Diesel def. Mr. Perfect *by countout*
4. Irwin R. Schyster def. The 1-2-3 Kid
5. Bret "Hitman" Hart def. Doink the Clown (w/ Jerry "The King" Lawler) *by disqualification*
6. Jerry "The King" Lawler def. Bret "Hitman" Hart *by disqualification*
7. Ludvig Borga def. Marty Jannetty
8. Rest in Peace Match: The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) def. Giant Gonzalez (w/ Harvey Wippleman)
9. Six Man Tag: Tatanka and The Smoking Gunns def. Bam Bam Bigelow and The Headshrinkers (w/ Afa and Luna Vachon)
10. Lex Luger def. Yokozuna (c) w/ Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette *by countout*
Well, to call SummerSlam a disappointment would be an understatement to say the least. It was the same old story of too many DQ or countout finishes to an already underwhelming card. First of all, in my view Bret Hart belonged in the main event before Lex Luger. I'm supposed to believe that he isn't hell bent on regaining the WWE Championship after losing it in controversial fashion at WrestleMania IX? His feud with Jerry Lawler was fine, but I don't agree with the timing. The same goes for face turn and main event push. His narcissist character was just fine and he had only been an active member of the WWE roster since the Royal Rumble. I would have to assume with Hogan gone, they felt that Luger could fill that All-American role by having him helicoptered onto the USS Intrepid and body slam Yokozuna on the 4th of July. It just felt rushed and I don't think they gave the Narcissist a real chance. In my rewrite, Yokozuna would have won King of the Ring and earned a title shot at Bret Hart, who had won his first championship on the grandest stage of them all from Ric Flair, who put his career on the line and was now out of the WWE. Speaking of King of the Ring, I don't think it needed to be its own ppv. Having the tournament play out on Monday Night Raw each week would have been just fine. This is my 8-man KOTR tournament:
Quarterfinal Round
Mr. Perfect def. Irwin R. Schyster
"The Narcissist" Lex Luger def. The 1-2-3 Kid
Tatanka def. The Mountie
Yokozuna def. Owen Hart
Semifinal Round
Mr. Perfect def. Lex Luger *by disqualification*
Yokozuna def. Tatanka
King of the Ring Final
Yokozuna def. Mr. Perfect to become 1993 King of the Ring
Now, on to SummerSlam...
Rewriting SummerSlam '93
1. Marty Jannetty vs. Diesel
Shawn Michaels brought his new bodyguard Diesel into the fold in June after weeks of being attacked by his former Rockers tag team partner. Michaels would tell the world that finally he would get rid of Jannetty for good, who still wanted to even the score for the barber shop incident, which in this rewrite happened over a year and a half ago now. Jannetty would put up a good fight with his aerial assault, but in the end he would be outmatched by the nearly 7' tall Diesel and his jackknife powerbomb.
2. The 1-2-3 Kid vs. Doink the Clown
Doink would spend the summer months torturing another newcomer to the WWE in the 1-2-3 Kid. Finally having enough of Doink's antics and practical jokes, he would challenge him to a match at SummerSlam. Doink would walk to the ring and peel a banana, and he would drop the peel in the aisleway. Without anyone being able to warn The 1-2-3 Kid, he would slip on the peel when he would run to the ring and appear to injure his knee. Doink demanded that the ref start to count and sure enough, he would win when the Kid would be unable to enter the ring before the count of 10. Doink's little buddies Dink and Wink would come down to celebrate with Doink, pointing and laughing at The 1-2-3 Kid hysterically. Just when you thought WrestleMania was weird, we now had 1...2...3 clowns in WWE.
3. Tag Team Championship: The Steiner Brothers (c) vs. Money Inc.
On a mission to regain the tag team championships since losing them at WrestleMania IX, DiBiase and IRS would finally have their rematch here with the Steiners. However, Rick and Scott would prove that money can't buy everything and that Mania was no fluke when coming out on the better end yet again.
4. Owen Hart vs. The Mountie
Finally breaking out into singles competition again after moderate success in the tag team division with Jim Neidhart and Koko B. Ware, Owen Hart would get his first big victory here against The Mountie, who would be doing just the opposite - winding down in his singles career and soon to be one half of The Quebecers. The Mountie would call out Owen in the weeks leading up to SummerSlam, cutting promos where he would say 1 Hart in the WWE was bad enough, but he would now rid the company of the black sheep of the Hart family that they're all ashamed of. Owen gets the win in a quick 5-minute bout with the missile dropkick.
5. "Macho Man" Randy Savage vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler
I'm basically taking what happened in reality when Lawler called out Savage on Monday Night Raw and told him he was too afraid to fight, only for Savage to be held back by McMahon, and making this Lawler's first real feud/match in WWE. Finally things would boil over and they would face off here at SummerSlam, where Savage would get the best of the self-proclaimed King. The Macho Man would go on to do color commentary later in the night.
6. Intercontinental Championship: "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels (c) vs. Razor Ramon
After being a guest on The Heartbreak Hotel (Shawn's talk show segment for those who don't remember) and being insulted, the recently turned babyface Razor Ramon would challenge Shawn Michaels for his Intercontinental Championship. With Shawn having tested positive for steroids in reality, he would be stripped of the IC Title - the reasoning they gave was that he had failed to defend the title within 30 days. They would hold a 20-man battle royal with the last 2 men remaining going on to compete in a 1-on-1 match, those being Razor Ramon and Rick Martel. Rather than go through the hoopla of the battle royal, I'd have just made Shawn do the job as a little extra punishment before his suspension. Michaels' 9-month-long title reign comes to an end at the biggest event of the summer in a match where Diesel would be banned from ringside.
7. Mr. Perfect vs. "The Narcissist" Lex Luger
With Luger being enraged after his DQ loss in the King of the Ring semifinal match (Luger would illegaly use the steel plate in his forearm), he would challenge Mr. Perfect to another round at SummerSlam. This feud writes itself with Luger being brought into WWE by Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Mr. Perfect having severed ties with him this time a year ago. I'm basically taking their WrestleMania IX match and pushing it back a few months. Again, I feel it was too soon to turn Luger face and I'm not even sure I would have done it at all to be honest. Luger gets the win after again using the illegal forearm, this time when the referee's back was turned.
8. The Undertaker vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
I came very close to making these 2 WrestleMania opponents, but Bigelow as narrowly beaten out by one of my all-time favorites in Papa Shango. Very few big men could move in the ring like Bigelow, so these 2 would have put on a match that undoubtedly could have stolen the show unlike what we actually saw with Giant Gonzalez. Taker scores the pinfall after the top rope clothesline and chokeslam.
9. Six-Man Tag: Tatanka and The Smoking Gunns vs. Papa Shango and The Headshrinkers
Basically the exact same match we had in reality, only with Papa Shango in place of Bam Bam Bigelow. Very logical teams and it would of course serve it's purpse as a break for the fans before the big main event. Shango, Fatu and Samu get the win with the big splash off the top rope onto Bart Gunn while Shango took care of Tatanka on the outside.
10. WWE Championship: Bret "Hitman" Hart vs. Yokozuna
There's no question that these 2 would be on a collision course for SummerSlam after both men would have an incredible 1993. Bret Hart would be the Royal Rumble winner and go on to WrestleMania to end the 15-month reign of Ric Flair as WWE Champion. He would also have several successful televised title defenses against Bam Bam Bigelow, Razor Ramon and The Mountie. Yokozuna would be the man who could lay claim to killing Hulkamania - after giving him several bonsai drops at WrestleMania IX, he not only would win the match, but we have yet to hear from Hogan since. Yokozuna would also go on to win the King of the Ring tournament which would make him the #1 contender. Just when it appeared that the same fate as Hogan was in store for Hart when Mr. Fuji reached for the salt to throw into Bret's eyes, Randy Savage said enough was enough and threw his headset off, spinning Fuji around and decking him between the eyes. Just as Yokozuna was about to hit the bonsai drop onto the chest of Hart, Savage would reach into the ring and pull Bret out by the legs, causing the referee to ring the bell for a disqualification, but saving Bret a world of misery. As Bret laid on the ringside mat disoriented, Savage would jump into the ring and go toe to toe with Yokozuna, getting the better of him and taking him off his feet, going to the top rope and landing the elbow drop. Yokozuna would roll out of the ring, vowing revenge on his long walk down the aisle. As Savage played to the fans, the referee would announce the decision and Bret would make his way back into ring, turning Savage around and demanding an explanation. Bret is confused and upset, and shoves Savage to the shock of the fans. The Macho Man would tell Hart that Yokozuna was about to become new champion and that he couldn't just sit by and watch that happen, and the way he sees it the Hitman owes him one. Bret would still look ready to go, but finally look to the fans for advice, and finally offer a handshake to Savage which was accepted. SummerSlam would come to an end with Bret and Randy raising each other's hands to the approval of the Detroit crowd.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment and/or post your changes to this card.
Up next...Survivor Series!