LODemolition
Championship Contender
Actual results:
Dark Match: "El Matador" Tito Santana def. Papa Shango
1. Intercontinental Championship: Tatanka (w/ Sensational Sherri) def. Shawn Michaels (c) w/ Luna Vachon *by countout*
2. The Steiner Brothers def. The Headshrinkers (w/ Afa)
3. Doink def. Crush
4. Razor Ramon def. Bob Backlund
5. Tag Team Championship: Money Inc. (c) def. The Mega Maniacs (w/ Jimmy Hart) *by disqualification*
6. "The Narcissist" Lex Luger def. Mr. Perfect
7. The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) def. Giant Gonzalez (w/ Harvey Wippleman) *by disqualification*
8. WWE Championship: Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji) def. Bret "Hitman" Hart (c)
9. WWE Championship: Hulk Hogan def. Yokozuna (c) w/ Mr. Fuji
I know that every year they claim "this is the greatest WrestleMania of all-time", but this one truly had the potential to be one of, if not the greatest there ever was. And yet it turned out to be one of the worst hands down. It was the same story as SummerSlam '92. 3 more matches with DQ or countout finishes, including 2 of the championship matches. This included the match no one ever talks about in The Undertaker's streak, because it was downright awful and was one of the aforementioned DQ finishes. Billing this as a double main event was an absolute joke. Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake being put in the tag team title match over the Steiners? No thanks. Hulk going for the WWE Championship just after Yokozuna had defeated Bret Hart? I'm still shaking my head. Most wanted a main event passing the torch moment of Randy Savage vs. Bret Hart, and while I would have loved that match too, I feel my main event of Flair vs. Hart plays out much better. I would have never had Flair drop the title to Savage and win it again, only to drop it to Bret in October. So Flair would walk into WrestleMania IX as the 400+ day reigning champ, after barely withstanding the challenges of Savage, Warrior and Perfect. I think most people consider 1993 a weak year for WWE, and while this ppv doesn't do much to change their minds, the roster was still pretty deep.
Key Losses: Ultimate Warrior, Legion of Doom, Sid Justice, Roddy Piper, British Bulldog, Ricky Steamboat, Texas Tornado, Big Boss Man, and soon Ric Flair
Key Additions: Yokozuna, Razor Ramon, Lex Luger, Bam Bam Bigelow, Steiner Brothers, The Headshrinkers, Jerry Lawler and Bob Backlund
Some might think those losses would be nearly impossible to recover from, but WWE has always been able to pick itself up and brush itself off and create new stars to take the place of those who departed. While it seemed very rushed to put the title on Bret and to put Yokozuna and Razor in the positions of top heels in the company, I can understand it with all the top names that left big shoes to fill. A slower build would have been nice, but if WrestleMania had gone perfectly, there would be no need for this rewrite series.
Rewriting WrestleMania IX
1. Casket Match: The Undertaker def. Papa Shango
I'm sure I'm in the minority on this, but I'll say it again. I loved the Papa Shango character. Charles Wright had a great look and size to play the perfect villain to The Undertaker. I had Shango score an extremely rare clean victory over Taker at the Rumble, so that clearly calls for a casket match here at Mania. I'll be honest, I did go back and forth several times between Shango and Bigelow for Taker's opponent, but Shango's time in WWE was running out (remember Kama Mustafa? ugh) and Bigelow vs Taker could have always happened later down the road. I've always thought they would have made good WMXI opponents.
2. "The Narcissist" Lex Luger def. Tatanka
Tatanka was an okay challenger for the IC Title at a Royal Rumble or SummerSlam, but not WrestleMania in my view. And why they paired Sensational Sherri with him here I'll never quite understand. Lex Luger debuted at the Royal Rumble in my rewrite and was nearly the last man standing. Luger goes over in a solid 10-minute match with an opponent physically equal in Tatanka.
3. Tag Team Championship: The Steiner Brothers def. Money Inc. (c)
I'm sure most will agree that the Steiners' WrestleMania debut was an excellent match with the Headshrinkers. However, with me not being very fond of the Mega Maniacs in the position of challengers here, who better to fill that spot than Rick and Scott? With the LOD long gone, WWE needed a top babyface team to hold the titles that could perform on tv week in and week out. Clearly not a role for Hogan and Brutus.
4. Razor Ramon def. "Macho Man" Randy Savage
Razor Ramon needed a big win at WrestleMania, and I'm sorry but Bob Backlund just wasn't it. In just his 2nd ppv, Razor challenged for the WWE Title and would lose cleanly by submitting to Bret Hart's sharpshooter. It really had the feel of someone who was not going to be around for long and they wanted to throw into the main event immediately. In my rewrites, Razor had been feuding with Randy since debuting at SummerSlam '92 and helping Ric Flair retain in his title match against Savage. This would have been a great rub had they chosen to use the Macho Man, which I still can't grasp the concept of using him as a commentator over getting everything you can out of him in the ring where few could do it better. Razor gets a win and THEN goes on to challenge for the WWE Championship (King of the Ring would have been perfect), not the other way around.
5. Six-Man Tag: Bam Bam Bigelow and The Headshrinkers def. Crush and High Energy
I very nearly put Bigelow and Crush 1-on-1, but I like to keep up with the traditions of a six to ten-man tag, and these teams would have made perfect sense. Bigelow really deserved to be on the card. As you may remember, his scheduled match with Kamala was cut due to time restraints.
6. Intercontinental Championship: "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels (c) def. Mr. Perfect
Another big "passing the torch" match here, with Shawn retaining the IC Title...and most definitely without Luna Vachon in his corner. What in the world was that all about? Shawn was supposed to be the young heart throb of WWE, and they pair him with someone who looks like Luna? They eventually got it right and put her with Bigelow, but I don't know how they made this mistake to begin with. Shawn and Hennig would eventually meet at SummerSlam, but it really should have been here. The self-proclaimed greatest IC Champion of all-time squares off with the man many believe that title belongs to.
7. Earthquake def. Typhoon
They teased the split of the Natural Disasters at the Royal Rumble, but nothing ever came of it. I realize Tenta left soon after, but like Flair it was on good terms, so they could have easily put a battle of the big men and former tag team partners together here for a quick 5-minute match where the fans could catch their second wind. Typhoon would play the heel after holding a grudge against Quake for eliminating him in the Rumble, but would not get the revenge he seeked out.
8. Yokozuna def. Hulk Hogan
More or less, I am taking their King of the Ring match and moving it up a few months. Without the championship being involved of course. Yokozuna still gets the huge rub here with the salt in the eyes finish we had in his match against Bret (rather than the exploding camera at KotR). Brutus could have still been used in Hogan's corner for this match. I just despise how the last 5 minutes of WMIX played out. If Hogan was sticking around for a while I could understand it, but he of course would turn right around and drop the title again in June and go back to Hollywood, then to WCW a year later.
9. 20-Man Battle Royal: Giant Gonzalez wins by last eliminating Kamala
Going back to WrestleMania traditions, this would be the perfect opportunity to use Gonzalez, in a match where he wouldn't have to actually wrestle anybody (not exactly a strength of his). Just the sight alone of him standing head and shoulders over 19 other men would create a memorable WrestleMania moment. Gonzalez and Kamala would be the last men standing in a battle royal which included Bob Backlund, Jerry Lawler, Virgil, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Rick Martel, Luke and Butch, Beau and Blake Beverly, The Mountie, The Brooklyn Brawler, Damien Demento, Terry Taylor, Billy and Bart Gunn, and last but not least Doink. We still get the moment of 2 Doinks mirroring each other's movements (including being simultaneously eliminated) when Steve "Skinner" Keirn comes out from under the ring.
10. WWE Championship: Bret "Hitman" Hart def. "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair (c)
Ric Flair, overconfident as ever, tells the world there's no way Bret Hart could beat him even on his best day. With WrestleMania being in Las Vegas, Flair feels like placing the surest bet in the history of sports and says he'll not only put the title on the line, but his career. In a grueling back and forth that would span nearly a half hour, Bret Hart would force Ric Flair to submit to the sharpshooter in the middle of the ring. Flair is a man possessed, telling the cameraman to get that thing out of his face while standing on the outside and watching Bret Hart hold the championship high that it seemed Flair would never relinquish.
Razor Ramon walks to the ring to console Flair, but his efforts aren't appreciated. "Where were you? Huh? The biggest fight of my life and you don't do what you were paid to do?" It appears Flair had a deal worked out with Razor earlier in the day, but Ramon didn't hold up his end of the bargain. Razor doesn't know what to tell him and begins to walk back down the aisle, only for Flair to pick up a ringside chair and send it crashing into Razor's back. Help arrives in the form of Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect, who have no problem cleaning Ric Flair's clock. They carry Flair down the aisle and to the back, kicking and screaming all the way to a huge ovation from the nearly 17,000 who filled Caesars Palace. The ring fills with wrestlers who hoist Bret Hart onto their shoulders. Bret's little brother Owen Hart, new tag champs the Steiner Brothers, Tatanka, Crush, Earthquake, Brutus Beefcake, Bob Backlund, Virgil, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, and once again Savage and Hennig make their way down the aisle to congratulate Hart while the fireworks fly in the hot Nevada air and WrestleMania IX comes to an end.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment and/or post your changes to this card.
Next up...SummerSlam 1993!
