Rewriting 1992's Big 4 PPVs, Part 1 of 4: The Royal Rumble

[LODemolition]

Actual Results:

1. The New Foundation def. The Orient Express (w/ Mr. Fuji)

2. Intercontinental Championship: "Rowdy" Roddy Piper def. The Mountie (c) w/ Jimmy Hart

3. The Beverly Brothers (w/ The Genius) def. The Bushwhackers (w/ Jamison)

4. Tag Team Championship: The Natural Disasters (w/ Jimmy Hart) def. Legion of Doom (c) *by countout*

5. Royal Rumble Match for the vacant WWE Championship: Ric Flair by last eliminating Sid Justice


This is one of my all-time favorite events in WWE history, as I legitimately didn't know at the time who I thought would walk out of the Royal Rumble match as the new WWE Champion. My only small problem with the rumble match itself is that it should have been your 30 best superstars fighting for the crown jewel of sports entertainment. So there are a handful of names that I would have replaced. I realize they were tag team champs at the time, but Hawk and Animal were huge crowd favorites and it would have been fun to see them possibly cross each other's paths. Earthquake and Typhoon, your 2 biggest men on the roster, but supposedly not interested in winning the WWE Title? They let Roddy Piper pull double duty, but not these guys? If Piper was allowed to make a second appearance, why not The Mountie? I'm sure the fans would have much rather seen all of them in there over names like Nikolai Volkoff, Skinner, The Berzerker and Repo Man. Also, you bend over backwards to get Bret Hart's signature on a new contract to make sure he's a part of this event. I'm not sure if there's anything to the rumors that he was close to jumping over to WCW, but for the sake of this rewrite we'll assume he was never going anywhere and he was readily available.

For those who may not have been keeping up with this series, let's recap our champions.

WWE Champion: Vacant

Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels

Tag Team Champions: The Nasty Boys

Now here's how the 1992 Royal Rumble would have played out in hindsight.

Rewriting the 1992 Royal Rumble​

1. Tag Team Champions: The New Foundation def. The Nasty Boys (c) *by disqualification*

This would be the first and only ppv match for the short-lived duo of Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart, when Neidhart would soon be fired after. Seeing how the LOD, Natural Disasters and Money Inc are all in my Royal Rumble match, this would be a chance for an up-and-coming team to share the tag team spotlight.


2. The Berzerker def. Koko B. Ware

I'll admit this is not shaping up to be the greatest undercard of all-time, but seeing how I'd rather keep the top 30 guys fresh for the rumble match instead of forcing double duty on a handful of guys, you have to work with what you have.


3. The Bushwhackers def. The Beverly Brothers

A rare appearance and an even more rare win for Luke and Butch over Beau and Blake who always felt like a WCW team to me. The tag team division was really beginning to dwindle away at this point in time.


4. Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels (c) def. Tito Santana

Take their WrestleMania VIII opener and put it here, with Shawn really coming into his own as a singles star. Shawn uses the vacancy of the WWE Championship over the last month and a half to promote himself as the only true champion there is in the WWE.


Royal Rumble Match for the vacant WWE Championship: Ric Flair wins by last eliminating Sid Justice

There's nothing I would change about Flair drawing #3 and Bobby Heenan losing his mind throughout the Rumble. That was put together wonderfully imo. The only thing I would possibly tweak is I would have likely put Undertaker in the final 4 instead of Savage, seeing how the whole title vacancy came about because of the back and forth between he and Hogan. I felt he was somewhat forgotten about here. It would have been nice to have seen a veteran like the Ultimate Warrior or Ricky Steamboat make a surprise appearance had they been available at the time, or even a newcomer such as Tatanka or Papa Shango. But again these are small tweaks that wouldn't change a perfectly written outcome. This was hands down the greatest Royal Rumble match we've ever seen and likely ever will see.

Here are my 30 entrants, in no particular order. Next to any superstar who was not in the actual Rumble, I have marked an asterisk and in parenthesis is the wrestler they would have been replacing.

1. Hulk Hogan
2. Ric Flair
3. Sid Justice
4. The Undertaker
5. Randy Savage
6. Jake Roberts
7. Roddy Piper
8. Ted DiBiase
9. Big Boss Man
10. Bret Hart* (Skinner)
11. Irwin R. Shyster
12. British Bulldog
13. The Mountie* (Jerry Sags)
14. Hawk* (Shawn Michaels)
15. Animal* (Nikolai Volkoff)
16. Smash* (Repo Man)
17. Rick Martel
18. Hercules
19. Earthquake* (The Berzerker)
20. Typhoon* (Tito Santana)
21. Haku
22. Texas Tornado
23. The Warlord
24. The Barbarian
25. Jim Duggan
26. Greg Valentine
27. Virgil
28. Jimmy Snuka
29. Sgt. Slaughter
30. Col. Mustafa

Up next in this series is the WrestleMania VIII Rewrite. Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment and/or post your changes to this card.

 

[HBKperfect23]

A classic ppv. Near perfect. I'd take away one of the non title tag matches and put in Shawn Michaels vs Marty Jannetty (if Marty was still on the roster which I'm not positive he was). We ended up getting the match a year later but it wasn't the same as it would have been here or at WM8.

I'm also tempted to have Sid go out 2nd to last since we never got Hogan/Flair in WWF 1 on 1. It could be the same ending with Sid and hulk reversing roles.
Ill leave this as is though since this match should not be touched.

 

[LODemolition]

Yeah, I went back and watched one of those old Rumble reports with Okerlund and Jannetty was advertised for the Rumble match, but of course was out by that point and I believe they used an injury excuse.

The whole thing with Sid and Hogan was done kind of backwards. Hogan pulls him out from the outside after already being eliminated, a classic heel move, and Monsoon doesn't even acknowledge id. That always kind of bugged me. So I agree, Hogan should have been last man eliminated by Flair after Sid had his arm from outside the ring, not the other way around.

 

[HeenanGorilla]

Yeah, I went back and watched one of those old Rumble reports with Okerlund and Jannetty was advertised for the Rumble match, but of course was out by that point and I believe they used an injury excuse.

The whole thing with Sid and Hogan was done kind of backwards. Hogan pulls him out from the outside after already being eliminated, a classic heel move, and Monsoon doesn't even acknowledge id. That always kind of bugged me. So I agree, Hogan should have been last man eliminated by Flair after Sid had his arm from outside the ring, not the other way around.

1) Yes, the injury was him being put through the Barber Shop window.
2) If you go back and watch Golden Era PPVs, Monsoon (who I love, hence HeenanGorilla) is terribly blind to the hypocrisy of faces, especially Hogan. I love Ventura's logic and sound reasoning. Gorilla would often respond with "So what?" or something dismissive to further the agenda of Hulkamania. (I get it...but still, it's funny to listen now)

As for the PPV, I hesitate to change much because it is, not only such a classic, but one of my personal favorites. I agree that certain Rumble participants should have been swapped out; but, I would disagree with some of those listed--sometimes for personal reasons, sometimes for other reasons like their résumé.

I like the idea of having more believable World title contenders, such as LOD and Earthquake, and omitting some newcomers like Skinner and Berzerker. But, I would leave some others in there. Granted, this may be because I fell in love with WWF in 1986 and these guys were a major part of it, but I would have Tito in there. As a two-time IC champ, I think he earned a shot at the title. Same with Volkoff (though a one-time tag champ who hadn't been there in 1991 leads me to believe this is simply a personal preference, rather than a substantial argument). But I would much rather Tito have a shot at the title (kayfabe, obviously) than Virgil.

But, overall, like I said, I love this one. The only thing that irks me about it is Hogan's crybaby nonsense. Jamison's way-too-long, crowed-playing tease of punching the Genius bothers me less than Hogan's crapola. This was the moment I had finally had enough of him. As an 8-year-old who loved all things WWF/Hulkamania, watching him complain about being eliminated during the inaugural Survivor Series annoyed me. So, as a 13-year-old barely holding on to his wrestling fandom, this was the last straw.

 

[LODemolition]

Yeah, this was definitely the point where it became clear that the fans were getting fed up with Hogan. Not only were the fans thrilled with Flair winning the Rumble, but afterwards they were clearly behind Sid in his face-off with Hulk. Sid would even point to a sign at ringside that said "Hulk Who?" I was 11 years old at the time and remember, despite never having watched WCW and being unfamiliar with Flair and Sid, loving that they had given the title to a new face and becoming a quick fan of both.

 

[THTRobtaylor]

Interesting ideas... At my Survivor Series I debuted the Steiners, so they'd have a match here finally retiring Demolition... and I'm not going with a vacant title... Taker is the champ here and Hogan lost it thanks to a mystery man..

Hogan goes in at #1 but is promised if he can make it all the way to #30 then the person who cost him his title will be revealed to him... #30 hits and the Warrior music hits as the crowd go nuts with Hogan and Warrior tearing into each other, and Flair taking advantage to eliminate them both from the final four... Leaving he and Savage, who manages to steal the win.

There is no "winner to Mania" stip... Flair is furious that Savage upset his plans and plants the "bloody kiss" he laid on Liz at Mania here... setting up their feud.

 

[FlairFan2003]

Yeah, this was definitely the point where it became clear that the fans were getting fed up with Hogan. Not only were the fans thrilled with Flair winning the Rumble, but afterwards they were clearly behind Sid in his face-off with Hulk. Sid would even point to a sign at ringside that said "Hulk Who?" I was 11 years old at the time and remember, despite never having watched WCW and being unfamiliar with Flair and Sid, loving that they had given the title to a new face and becoming a quick fan of both.

Fans were not "fed up" with Hogan, however WWE learned that even a hero as popular as Hogan was not immune to being booed if acting as a heel.

The Rumble is promoted and gains its popularity because of the "Every man for himself" aspect, fans want to see allies & friends battle each other, heels & faces team up to eliminate threats.

If WWE wanted to set up Sid vs Hogan at the Rumble, the execution was poor. Sid essentially did NOTHING wrong in the Final Three. If you're Sid, and you look at a clearly exhausted Flair, lying prone on the mat, an opponent nearly 50lbs lighter & 4 to 5 inches shorter having just wrestled the past hour, and Hogan, distracted with his back to you, engaged with Flair, Hogan being nearly your same size and having been in the ring maybe 10 minutes tops. OF COURSE you dump Hogan 1st, then roll the dice with Flair.

Sid did nothing any other participant wouldnt have done but Hogan complaining, refusing to leave, then grabbing & distracting Sid (leaving him prone to be eliminated by Flair), THAT was a clear heel move, and the crowd, disapointed & confused by Hulk's actions, reacted accordingly.

As for fans cheering Flair's win, the bulk of the crowd did react positively, here you have a combination of honoring the historical significance of seeing Mr NWA win the WWE title (in dramtic fashion, a record setting hour long performance) and some fans honoring the epic performance itself. Flair was clearly not a favorite of the crowd which jeered him repeatedly and popped loudly for most of his near eliminations.

 

[FlairFan2003]

The only thing I would change is the Main Event. I never would have had Taker's token title reign at S-Series, though I would have kept Flair's interference at both SS & Tuesday in Texas, just with Hogan prevailing.

This would have set up one on one, at The Rumble, WWE Champion Hulk Hogan vs "Real World's Champion" Ric Flair. I would have a very competitive match, similar to their Bash At The Beach bout, only it ends with Hogan sending Flair into the ropes for the Big Boot, Flair ducks under The Boot, sweeps Hogan's other leg, rolls him up & gets the pin.

Afterwards I would have Hogan disappear for the next 6 weeks or so, as Flair, Henning, & Heenan proclaim the end of HulkaMania. Flair would be on a rampage, post match beatdowns on prone opponents commonplace. Finally, in early March, I would have Flair defending the title against a high profile opponent like Savage or Hart, intentionally DQ himself to avoid the loss, and proceed a nasty postmatch beatdown, only to have the missing Hogan finally return and make the save.

I would have Hogan explain he left because he was devastated about losing, letting down his fans, and letting down WWE by being beaten by someone like Flair. Hogan would explain how disgusted he was watching Flair & Friends not just disparage him but run amok over WWE, finally realizing that a real HulkaManiac doesnt quit, they comeback after a loss, and he owed to his fans to return and try to protect WWE from Flair.

Flair in turn, furious that Hulk was back, would agree to face Hogan for the belt only if A) It be a No DQ Match B) It happens at WrestleMania and C) If Hogan loses again he leave WWE forever, ensuring that Flair killed HulkaMania once and for all.

I'll save that matches outcome for a Mania VIII re write.

 

[Wrestlingaholic]

I would keep this card extremely similar, other than Mountie having held the IV belt for a month rather than 48 hours, and the tag title match not ending the way it did. It is quite frankly stupid for any wrestler/s to not know that titles can't change on a count out, ESPECIALLY a team who had a manager who had previous managed tag Champions on multiple occasions. I had the pair fight to a double countout at Survivor Series, so I'm not really sure what I'd do here, but it certainly wouldn't be Quake and Typhoon winning by countout and then celebrating like they'd won the titles.

Bushwhackers v Beverleys and New Foundation v the Orient Express are fine to stay as none of those four had any business fighting for the WWF title.

The 1992 Royal Rumble is quite simply one of the best booked matches in WWE history, other than a few kinks which I will iron out here, but first the roster: exactly the same except, borrowing ideas from LODemolition here, Crush would replace Nikolai Volkoff, the Mountie would replace Jerry Saggs, and the Repo Man would still be Smash. Also in my rewrites remember Hercules was a face, in case you think I'm putting in too many heels -face Herc means I don't have to worry about discarding the useless Volkoff. The Rumble would pan out in almost exactly the same way, with the Mountie getting eliminated quickly by Davey Boy in the way Jerry Saggs was in reality, playing on the fact he lost a hard fought IC title match earlier in the night to Piper (it makes sense for both IC participants to be in the Rumble, why only allow one?)

Also stealing from posters earlier, since Sid is being transitioned into a heel soon, it absolutely makes sense for Hogan to sneak up on Sid and eliminate him (Hogan has form in eliminating his friends, he did so in 1989, 1990 and 1991 but hey, it IS every man for himself) only for Sid to offer his hand to the Hulkster before double crossing him and pulling him out, allowing Flair to lift his legs over and win the title. Flair of course would still be number 3.

Keeping the Rumble largely the same also follows logically on from my previous rewrites: Undertaker was eliminated fairly early, but in my version he was never champion but merely an accomplice, so that makes more sense now. Jake the Snake's reaction to the Maxho Man's entrance was a highlight of the Rumble in reality, but given that in my Tuesday in Texas rewrite I alluded to Savage being a last minute replacement for the injured Marty Jannetty, with this now being his first match back, it makes Jake's reaction even more pertinent; and having a returning Savage being in the final four in his first match back with the crowd behind him would have told a great story.

One other thing certainly wouldn't change: the best victory promo in wrestling history. "With a tear in my eye, this is the greatest moment of my life" Flaiir was a heel, but he won over a shedload of new admirers with that performance and that speech