Rewriting 1991's Big 4 PPVs, Part 1 of 4: The Royal Rumble

[LODemolition]

1990 is now in the rear view mirror as we turn the calendar to January 1991 with WrestleMania VII from Los Angeles on the horizon. In reality, the Ultimate Warrior was WWE Champion and looking to defend against the American turncoat Sgt. Slaughter. "Macho King" Randy Savage had been proclaiming himself as the #1 contender since Survivor Series and would not take no for an answer. During the WWE Championship match, Savage would crash his scepter over the Warrior's head while the referee wasn't looking, and a stunned Miami crowd witnessed Sgt. Slaughter become the new champion.

Before we do the Royal Rumble rewrite, let's recap the way I had 1990 go down and the title changes that took place.

WWE Championship:

Hulk Hogan
Ultimate Warrior (WrestleMania VI)
Mr. Perfect (SummerSlam)
Ultimate Warrior (Survivor Series)

Intercontinental Championship:

"Ravishing" Rick Rude
Jake "The Snake" Roberts (WrestleMania VI)

Tag Team Championship:

Colossal Connection
Demolition (Royal Rumble)
The Rockers (Saturday Night's Main Event - July)
Demolition (SummerSlam)
​

Now for the 1991 Royal Rumble's actual results:

Dark Match: Jerry Sags def. Sam Houston

1. The Rockers def. The Orient Express (w/ Mr. Fuji)

2. Big Boss Man def. The Barbarian (w/ Bobby Heenan)

3. WWE Championship: Sgt. Slaughter (w/ Gen. Adnan) def. Ultimate Warrior (c)

4. The Mountie (w/ Jimmy Hart) def. Koko B. Ware

5. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase & Virgil def. Dusty Rhodes & Dustin Rhodes

6. Royal Rumble Match: Hulk Hogan won by last eliminating Earthquake

Rewriting the 1991 Royal Rumble​

1. Tag Team Championship: Demolition (c) def. The Rockers

After a short 1-month reign as tag team champions this past July, The Rockers just continue to come up short against Demoltion. Shawn Michaels has been growing more and more frustrated with his tag team partner Marty Jannetty after each loss, and this time it seems to have finally boiled over as after Demolition clears the ring and the music dies down, Michaels shoves him. Jannetty takes the blame for the loss and Michaels seems to accept his apology. However, the following week on the Barber Shop, Shawn turns on his tag team partner just as he did in reality, only nearly a year sooner.


2. Sgt. Slaughter def. Dusty Rhodes

I may be in the minority as a lot of people seem to like Slaughter going into WM7 as the WWE Champion, but I personally never felt he needed the belt. With the United States in the middle of the Gulf War, he already had all the heat in the world with his gimmick (so much that he received death threats). Instead of the Warrior, I put him up against "The American Dream", who was on his way out at this point anyway. Slaughter sends him packing to everyone's disappointment.


3. Big Boss Man def. Honky Tonk Man

This was also a chance to send HTM packing as he was no longer on the roster after January of '91. Why not take advantage of that, possibly with a "loser leaves town" match?


4. The Nasty Boys def. The Hart Foundation

The exact match they had at WM7, only not for the titles.


5. Intercontinental Championship: Mr. Perfect def. Jake "The Snake" Roberts (c)

As much as I like having the IC Title on Jake Roberts, I have other plans in store for him at Mania. Curt Hennig is literally the perfect superstar to walk into WM with the Intercontinental belt around his waist. After losing the WWE Championship at Survivor Series, it did not take long for Mr. Perfect to win gold again.


6. Royal Rumble Match: "Macho King" Randy Savage wins by last eliminating The British Bulldog

With the Ultimate Warrior having a WWE Championship match later in the evening, he would not be able to defend the title of Royal Rumble winner after winning my 1990 Rumble rewrite. It would come down to the final 5 of Randy Savage, Davey Boy Smith, Earthquake, Hawk and Animal. After the Legion of Doom teamed up to send Earthquake over the top rope, Savage would sneak up from behind and return the favor to Hawk while the Bulldog did the same to Animal. Both men would be exhausted after drawing top 10 entries, but in the end it would be Randy Savage who outlasted 29 other superstars. In reality, Savage wouldn't even enter the Rumble although he drew #18, as he was keeping eyes in the back of his head and anticipating revenge from the Warrior for costing him the title. Hogan would win for the 2nd year straight after eliminating Brian Knobbs (seriously?) and Earthquake. Davey Boy and Rick Martel (who lasted 52 minutes) rounded out the rest of the respectable final 5.


7. WWE Championship: The Ultimate Warrior (c) def. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase

After winning the title of sole survivor at Survivor Series, it was only right that Warrior recognize DiBiase as deserving of a title opportunity which he granted him here. The Million Dollar Man would come close, but in the end the Warrior would break the million dollar dream and score the pinfall to retain his championship. After the match, DiBiase would blame Virgil and degrade him in front of 16,000 fans. When DiBiase told him to put his million dollar belt, the only belt that really matters, around his waist...Virgil snapped. As DiBiase turned around, Virgil knocked him out cold and the show ends with the Warrior making his way back into the ring to raise Virgil's hand while the crowd goes crazy.


Next up is WrestleMania VII. Thanks for reading my Royal Rumble rewrite. Feel free to comment and/or post your changes to this card.

 

[Steamboat Ricky]

While I don't find myself in wholesale disagreement with your rewrite, I do notice that you have seemingly left Hogan off of the card (or at least he was in the Rumble and eliminated very early on). Why would you inexplicably leave the most popular star in the company off of one of the biggest events of the year? And furthermore, what plans do you have for Hogan for Wrestlemania VII? Wouldn't the Rumble be the place to advance those plans?

 

[LODemolition]

Hogan would have been in my Rumble match, just not in the final 5. I would have had Hogan draw a top five entry, something that I don't think he ever did. He always seemed to be in the mid-20's. I might be mistaken, but I think he may have drawn #18 in 1989, but the 3 years after that I'm positive he was a late entrant. You could argue my winner (Savage) didn't need the Rumble, but with him winning from the top 10 (let's just say #7) and lasting over an hour which would have been a record at the time, it would have been impossible for Warrior to keep denying him a title match.

As for WMVII, I wouldn't have changed his opponent at all in Slaughter, I just wouldn't have had that match as the main event for the title. WM7 was legitimately a double main event with Warrior/Savage, it just wasn't billed that way though it should have been. I would've just personally flipped the 2 matches with the retirement match holding more importance. The way they wrote that wit Liz returning and reuniting with Randy was the perfect way to end the show imo.

 

[Wrestlingaholic]

I have a few issues/questions regarding your rewrite - and some things I liked!

• Honkytonk left about two weeks before the Rumble event I believe, hence why the commentators referenced "Jimmy Hart and Valentine used to hang! Well they don't hang no more!" but did not once mention the name of HTM
• I am old school, I don't like it when the Rumble match isn't on last. Just a personal preference
• whilst I enjoyed the Rhodes-Million Dollar Man feud and match, I like your rewrite with Slaughter facing Rhodes, which makes sense given he was the "American Dream"; like you I also didn't like Slaughter as WWF champion
• unlike your prior rewrites, I probably wouldn't change much about the WWF title picture. Again a personal view, but I prefer longer reigns generally. Therefore the Warrior would still be champion, and I stick with your idea of having the Million Dollar Man as his challenger at the Rumble. Warrior's only good matches were with stellar workers like Rude and Savage, so giving him DiBiase to work with should ensure another well received match.
• I would keep the Rockers v Orient Express and Boss Man v Barbarian the same as they were very good matches
• I can't comment on the Mountie v Koko B. Ware as I've never seen it - it was cut from the Colisseum video release. I would be inclined to scrap it though and add the Mountie to the Royal Rumble match, probably in place of the useless Saba Simba
• like the 1990 match, I'm a big fan of the '91 Rumble. Other than maybe switching Saba Simba with the Mountie, and maybe adding in Jerry Saggsin place of the Warlord, who I never thought was any good (and I never got why Knobbs was in the match but Saggs wasn't); the only other change would be to add Savage officially - as in, have him actual participate
• Savage can assault the Warrior during the title match as he did, but Warrior still somehow wins due to a mistake from Virgil. This will allow the Virgil face turn as actually happened whilst still furthering the Warrior-Savage story
• I would probably have Savage win the Rumble. A face had won the first three years, it was time to give a heel the victory. Plus after winning the Rumble, there was no way Warrior could refuse him a title shot after outlasting 29 others in the match of the year. And yes, he would last eliminate Hogan.
• a question for LODemolition: who would you have in the Rumble in place of the seven wrestlers you've taken out of the match to appear earlier on the card?