LODemolition
Championship Contender
Dark Match: Koko B. Ware def. The Brooklyn Brawler
1. The Rockers def. Haku and The Barbarian (w/ Bobby Heenan)
2. The Texas Tornado def. Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart)
3. The British Bulldog def. The Warlord (w/ Slick)
4. Tag Team Championship: The Nasty Boys (w/ Jimmy Hart) def. The Hart Foundation (c)
5. Blindfold Match: Jake "The Snake" Roberts def. Rick "The Model" Martel
6. The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) def. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka
7. Retirement Match: The Ultimate Warrior def. "Macho King" Randy Savage (w/ "Sensational Queen" Sherri)
8. Genichiro Tenryu and Kōji Kitao def. Demolition (w/ Mr. Fuji)
9. Intercontinental Championship: Big Boss Man def. Mr. Perfect (c) w/ Bobby Heenan *by disqualification*
10. Earthquake (w/ Jimmy Hart) def. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
11. Legion of Doom def. Power and Glory (w/ Slick)
12. Virgil def. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase *by countout*
13. The Mountie (w/ Jimmy Hart) def. Tito Santana
14. WWE Championship: Hulk Hogan def. Sgt. Slaughter (c) w/ General Adnan
Well this is one of my favorite WrestleManias, but even so, it could have been so much better. It was a big improvement imo from the year before where there was just a huge main event and the rest of the card seemed insignificant. A one match show almost. One of my minor complaints is that they didn't use Ricky Steamboat on the card. I can understand it because he had only been back for a month and they might not have even been running vignettes for him at the time, but if you have him I say use him. Also, like the following year, this should have been billed as a double main event. With Warrior and Savage putting their careers on the line in a retirement match, how do you not? But my biggest confusion pertains to the use, or should I say misuse, of Demolition. Putting them in the ring with 2 complete unknowns from Japan, who naturally got zero crowd reaction, completely blows my mind. Not only that, but Demolition put them over! Wow. This was the greatest shape the tag team division had ever been in and at the very least they could have put them against someone that the crowd was familiar with like the Bushwhackers. Despite booking 15 matches which were a bit too much for my taste, but they did do a good job of spreading out the most important matches. With hindsight being 20/20 as it always is, here is how I would rewrite this already very memorable day in WWE history.
Rewriting WrestleMania VII
1. Shawn Michaels def. Marty Jannetty
As you saw in my Royal Rumble rewrite, Shawn Michael's heel turn came nearly a year earlier than it did in reality after The Rockers briefly won the tag team titles from Demolition and then lost them back in the summer of 1990. I feel you could have very easily broken them up at this point as their run together felt like it had run its course. This would have made a fantastic opening contest between the former tag team partners where Shawn would have gotten the win and established himself as the breakout star of the duo.
2. Intercontinental Championship: The British Bulldog def. Mr. Perfect (c)
After a great 1990 that saw Mr. Perfect briefly hold the WWE Championship, his new year would be off to a great start with an IC Title win at the Royal Rumble from Jake Roberts. However, it would not last long after running into Davey Boy Smith here. I would have loved to have seen these 2 great athletes lock up with gold on the line at WrestleMania.
3. Power and Glory def. The Powers of Pain
This one writes itself as Hercules and Paul Roma simply decided there wasn't room for 2 tag teams in the Dr. of Style Slick's stable of talent, and turned on the Warlord and Barbarian, making them crowd favorites. These 4 could have even made for a nice Survivor Series team at one point, but even better opponents here. These are 2 of my favorite and most underrated teams in WWE history.
4. "The Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich def. "The Model" Rick Martel
I think both of these guys made nice midcard talent, but would give the win to the Tornado because he's still a relative newcomer and it was his first WrestleMania.
5. Virgil def. "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase *by countout*
This is the first match I wouldn't have touched. It would have been nice if Piper could have been involved and maybe even tagged with Virgil against Money Inc. (if IRS had returned to WWE a bit sooner), but I believe he was recovering from a motorcycle accident at the time hence the crutches. The countout finish gives the feud a reason to continue to SummerSlam, where the Million Dollar Championship would be on the line.
6. The Natural Disasters def. Big Boss Man & "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan
Boss Man was incredibly over at this point, so I can't argue with putting him in the IC Title match. And I wouldn't have even noticed Jim Duggan was left off the card honestly if it hadn't been for him to do color commentary for the opening match. But if you've been keeping up with this series, you know that I had Earthquake and Typhoon form the Natural Disasters team in the summer of 1990, a year earlier than reality, so another tag team match would have been in order. It was either this team I put together of Duggan and Boss Man or the Bushwhackers. So that's not much of a choice.
7. The Undertaker def. Jake "The Snake" Roberts
This would have been a great beginning to the streak, only with roles reversed from their WM8 matchup and Roberts playing the face. I really like the thought of this over the goofy blindfold match that Jake had with Martel. After tombstoning and gaining the victory, Taker doesn't let up and smashes the urn repeatedly into Jake's head. One of the most unlikely allies comes to his aid in Andre the Giant, who hadn't been seen or heard from since SummerSlam. We have an epic staredown between Andre and The Undertaker when Paul Bearer grabs the urn and seems compelled to use it on the giant. As Jake comes to and Bearer raises his arms above his head, Roberts pulls it from between his hands to the roar of the crowd. As Andre turns around, Jake uses it himself to hit Andre square between the eyes. It seems as though Jake Roberts is under some sort of spell and has joined the darkside. Taker and Roberts both put the boots to Andre until suddenly we hear "Ohhhh what a rush" and the Legion of Doom's music hits. Hawk and Animal's match was scheduled next, and they run to the ring with more than tag team gold on their mind as they clothesline Jake and Taker to the outside and help Andre to his feet. They both want back in the ring, but Paul Bearer and the power of the urn force them to reluctantly walk away.
8. Tag Team Championship: Legion of Doom def. Demolition (c)
This is easily on my short list of all-time missed opportunities by WWE. Hawk and Animal vs. Smash and Crush for the tag team belts would've undoubtedly been the matchup you automatically think of when you mention greatest tag team matches in WrestleMania history. If nothing else, it would have been pleasing to the eye just to see all of these face painted superstars in the ring at one time. I can't tell you how much it blows my mind that they chose to not go this direction, titles or no titles. Instead, the Road Warriors were booked against Power and Glory, who they finished in 59 seconds. It seems to me that they signed LOD with this very same moment in mind between 2 legendary teams where the torch could have been passed from Demolition. The explanation for this tremendous booking error? I'd love to hear it.
9. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat def. "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka
I'm thinking a little outside the box with this one I know, but I would have brought Steamboat back as a heel in 1991. Ditch the awful firebreather gimmick and establish him as a solid midcarder in the hunt for the Intercontinental gold he famously won at WM3. I once read that Steamboat wanted badly to work as a heel and Pat Patterson told him no because he was an ultimate babyface. Maybe so, but if it would have kept him around, then give him some creative freedom. And a heel Steamboat is not that hard for me to imagine. This could have breathed new life into his career, pun intended.
10. Hulk Hogan def. Sgt. Slaughter
The second match of the night I would not have touched, other than of course there being no championship at stake. This was the All-American Hogan going up against the turncoat Slaughter, who had already sent Dusty Rhodes packing in my Royal Rumble rewrite. Now he set his sights on ending Hulkamania forever. Slaughter made a great opponent for Hogan imo, but WWE Champion? No thank you.
11. Six-Man Tag Team Match: The Nasty Boys & The Mountie def. The Hart Foundation & Tito Santana
These 2 matches combining into one would've worked out nicely I think. With Bret about to venture out into his singles career, it makes sense to let the Nasty Boys get the win so they can gain credibility as challengers to the titles.
12. WWE Championship Retirement Match: The Ultimate Warrior (c) def. "Macho King" Randy Savage
What is there to say about this match that hasn't already been said before? What a great story this match told and the way they reunited Randy with Liz was perfection. My only complaint about WrestleMania VII is that this didn't end the show. It would've been a great way to cap the night with all the shots of the fans crying tears of joy in the LA Memorial while the Macho Man sits his bride on his shoulder with fireworks going off above. But what would be next in store for the Warrior and his WWE Championship? The SummerSlam rewrite is next.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment and/or post your changes to the card of WrestleMania VII.