I'd like some feedback this round if some people would be ever so kind. Without time for the repetitive cycle of description, more description, dialogue and summary description, I went with a 1st person perspective with running monologue and dialogue. So yeah, something different, would like to see what you guys think.
Also, I intend to feedback everyone this round as I have a semester break from Thursday and would like something to keep me occupied until the Rumble. I'll do it mostly on Thursday and Friday.