[Request/Offer] Feedback Thread

[Blade]

I'm gonna do feedback for feedback this round, so if you're up for it, let me know.

 

[Con T.]

I'm gonna do feedback for feedback this round, so if you're up for it, let me know.

Thanks man

 

[Thriller Ant]

I'm gonna do feedback for feedback this round, so if you're up for it, let me know.

I think I can make that work

 

[Con T.]

I'd be down to help too

 

[Thriller Ant]

I'd be down to help too

I can add you to my list as well.

 

[Beastmode 24]

I'm gonna do feedback for feedback this round, so if you're up for it, let me know.

I'm down as well.

 

[Dirk]

I'm down with that, put me up.

 

[Shotaro]

I could do with shaking off some RP rust, FB for FB is the usual deal.

 

[Blade]

So that's J.O, Thrillzorz, MSTN, Manure and Shotaro.

Okay, all your feedback will be up when whoever's last to post gets their RP up. And, y'know, feel free to give me FB before that

 

[The Crock]

So that's J.O, Thrillzorz, MSTN, Manure and Shotaro.

Okay, all your feedback will be up when whoever's last to post gets their RP up. And, y'know, feel free to give me FB before that

Wanna add me in? I'll return the favor, of course.

 

[Blade]

Yeah, okay. That's my cut-off point though. Soz, everyone else.

 

[JamJam]

Would appreciate feedback from anyone. I will do some as well though.

 

[Con T.]

Would appreciate feedback from anyone. I will do some as well though.

Will do, working on Blade's ATM, then will get to yours.

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

Would appreciate feedback from anyone. I will do some as well though.

Will do, working on Blade's ATM, then will get to yours.

I'll get to you both at some point this week.

 

[Con T.]

I'll get to you both at some point this week.

Will send yours out, soon. I have Blade, then yours, then JAM

 

[Con T.]

Soooo, I fucked up, and did my first feedback via PM

Anyway, I'll do Krypto and Amber, and in like ten minutes give Blade.

Krypto; I already said this to you, but it's fucking hilarious.

1. Fucking love the use of flashback. Krypto's response to it was really great, but it worked. The actual flashback may have been a tiny bit long, but other than that, fucking great.
   
2. I really loved the interchanges between Krypto, Missy, and the Beard. There's something just wonderful about the idea of bringing in this guy who's so "normal" and dragging him into this surreal world. I always love the wacky partners angle, and if I'm being honest, I'd love to see this team become a regular thing.
   
3. Speaking of which, it's abundantly clear that you two collaborated quite a bit to do this, and it works perfectly. Beard's partner's departure is addressed, and there's logic to why this tag match is occurring.
   
4. I want to see where the power glove leads.

I got to read Beard's, and it was pretty damn good, too. Again, wacky partners are always funny, to me. Of course, I also loved Head Cheese, so there is that.

Now, to JAM; had some bright spots, some things that as a reader I was waiting for. Understand, if it seems like I'm saying some negatives compared to Krypto, it's not a slight to you. I just fucking loved his, and couldn't find many things to critique

• I like the idea of expressing the thoughts of a debuting wrestler in her first match. I think you catch it pretty well. But, I also think it was pretty lengthy, and could have been cut by a decent amount. It shows you can write out matches, but what does it show about your character, or your ability to write it?
• We've established hardships, which is good. But I think you could do better than referring to it as "those hardships" or "teenage years". Remember, this is a new character, to a brand new audience. Everyone has problems, what makes me want to care about these problems? What makes her story so riveting? I know it's the weight loss, but the audience doesn't, and if they don't, then it just becomes an idle thought.
• I like the boxing angle to your character; it adds something to your character that makes it different. Maybe you can accentuate that in future RPs. Maybe she's a former prize fighter boxer, but had to take this chance and leave that career to come here?
• This isn't just a thing for you, it's with all of professional wrestling; I want to know why you think you can win? What makes you different? See, boxing makes you different; if you emphasize that part of your training, it makes me as an audience member think you have something the other wrestlers don't

 

[FlexAmerican Dynamite]

You could have posted it in the actual Feedback thread too in the Roleplay section and got a non-spam post. Regardless thanks.

 

[Con T.]

You could have posted it in the actual Feedback thread too in the Roleplay section and got a non-spam post. Regardless thanks.

 

[Dirk]

I'll probably be the last to put up my RP. My tag partner told me he usually puts his up close to the deadline and my bit's #2, so I have to have it up even later.

I'm just going to give it to everybody on this page and everybody Blade says he'd give it to, just not right now.

 

[Beastmode 24]

Roleplay is up. Feedback is appreciated.

 

[Johnny Scumm]

Roleplay is up. Feedback is appreciated.

If I could get some from you that'd be cool, I won't be able to do yours til tomorrow.

 

[Beastmode 24]

If I could get some from you that'd be cool, I won't be able to do yours til tomorrow.

Yeah, but I have to wait until tomorrow as well.

 

[Beastmode 24]

Yeah, but I have to wait until tomorrow as well.

Never mind. Feedback is up for Thrash and JGlass. Anyone else want some?

 

[Blade]

Never mind. Feedback is up for Thrash and JGlass. Anyone else want some?

Ahem.

 

[Beastmode 24]

Ahem.

I'll get right on that, sir.