Night of Ascension:
[Alice is seen limping off to her dressing room; desperately trying to hold back her tears she strongly looks forward, stone faced with her head held high. Losing was not in her vocabulary, and she couldn’t help noticing it hurt like hell, but she would be damned if she would let anyone; let alone a drunken foolish cowboy, knock her mask off. After walking for what seemed like forever and a day, she finally reaches her door. Alice quickly turns the knob and semi throws herself into the room; once inside she slams the door shut and rests her body against it, as if trying to keep out her demons and doubts. Alice looks at the floor; more specifically her boots, she carefully took in all the details from the stitching all the way to the scuffs from her first two matches. Her matches… Alice’s vision goes blurry, her once strong hold on her tears finally diminished and as soon as the first tear fell onto one of her clean boots the rest fell not long after. Alice places her face in her hands, quietly sobbing into them, she tries to compose herself, clearly failing, again it seemed, she slowly slid down the door and sunk into herself, her once perfect hold on her mask was crushed (for the time being that is) and she was not happy with herself at all.]
Alice: “God I am such an idiot! I can’t believe this happened, stupid cowboy why couldn’t you just drown yourself with your cheap beer, whiskey and women?! [Alice winches in pain and cradles her sides] god my ribs are killing me, but at least no one can tell me that I didn’t go down without a fight, I guess right now that’s all I could ask for…”
[Alice slows her breathing down and finally stops crying, when she finally composes herself she heard her phone start to ring. When she picked up her phone and saw the name on her screen she scoffed. It was her daughters father calling, for her and her daughters usual good night routine while she was away. Alice smiles and answers the phone.]
Alice: “Hello?”
Male voice: “ Hey Alice, it’s me, Marie wanted to tell you goodni-“
[Muffled tiny voice is heard in the background and the manly voice suddenly vanished]
Little girl voice: “Hey mommy! I missed you! Mommy coming home already? [Giggles]
Alice: “Hey baby girl, mommy misses you too, I hope your behaving with your daddy and grandma, oh yes my love I am coming home soon, just two more days, then mommy can take you out for some McDonald’s OK?”
Marie: “OK mommy, chicken nuggets please.”
[Alice closes her eyes, tears slowly start to trail down her cheeks. She missed her kids, like hell, as soon as she heard her daughters voice all her pain and frustration from tonight’s match melted away.]
Alice: “Yes Marie, mommy will get you chicken nuggets; now what time is it… [looks at her watch] Jesus, it’s almost 11, how are you still awake?”
[The cute high pitched girl voice was suddenly replaced with a manly voice]
Marie’s Father: “Oh come on Allie, it’s not that big if a deal [Marie could be heard in the background saying Yeah Allie] Oh no, Marie, you don’t call your mom that, she’s mommy to you [Turns his attention to Alice again] I don’t get to see her often, so what if I like to spoil my little princess,”
Alice: [cuts him off mid sentence] “Listen, honestly don’t care if you don’t get to see her often, she needs to go to bed at the same time over there as she does at my house, or else it’s a pain in the ass to get her back on that schedule..”
Marie’s father: “God why are you so bitchy today, look, my bad alright, she’s my daughter, if I want to let her stay up late then shit, she can stay up late, geeze you would think after all this time you would of lighten up a little.”
[Alice subconsciously flinches at his comment, no matter how many years have passed, he still know just what to say to make her feel worthless]
Alice: “I’m not bitchy [she snaps and rolls her eyes] I’m just sore, I lost my match today if you must know, and I took a couple bumps and bruises in the process, look I don’t have to explain anything to you! [angrily snaps] look I gotta go, give my daughter a kiss for me, and don’t you ever again try to talk to me like we’re friends, you are nothing to me, the only reason we even speak is because of that little ball of sunshine on the other end of this line.”
[ Before he could even get a word in Alice hangs up her phone and bites her tongue, she knew how to bluff him, hell, she was stuck with that jerk for over 5 years. The worst five years of her life, she shudders, just thinking about it made her heart hurt.]
Flashback to 7 years ago:
[Alice is seen at a party hanging off to the side awkwardly, with a red solo cup in hand. This was way before Burlesque was thought of or even entertained, she looks around the Backyard at the slew of people, everyone seemingly blurring together, she takes a last quick swig of her drink and tosses it away. It was only when she had moved from her potted placement that she saw him. He was tall and a little awkward himself, but that wasn’t what she had first noticed about him, it was the intense vibes she was getting from him that really set her alarms ringing. It was as if they where the only two people there. He walked up to her, with a silly half cocked smile.]
Unknown male: “so I’ve never seen you here before, how do you know the uh-,”[points to the people hosting the party]
Alice: “oh, um [laughs awkwardly] see the really sloshed girl over there [points to the clearly inebriated woman on the other side of the yard, trying go flirt with multiple guys] she’s my roommate, I just moved here, and she took it upon herself to try and have me make friend’s.” [Alice laughs]
Unknown male: “Oh you know Ruby? I go way back with her brothers, we used to go to school together. My names Eric [playfully cocks his head to his side and raises his eyebrow] and what might your name be if you don’t mind me asking beautiful?”
Alice: [surprised] “Oh getting a little to comfortable now are we? [She punches his arm playfully] well if you must know, my name is Alice; it’s very nice to meet you, Eric.”
[The rest of the night was a blur to her, all she remembered where whispered comments and secret smiles, they talked the rest of night, straight on til morning…]
End of flashback
[Alice bites her lower lip, trying to will away the tears that seemed to always form whenever she has to deal with… him. She slowly brings her knees to her chest, drawing into herself, as if the closer she brought herself in, the smaller the pain would be. She remembered it all as if it was yesterday. The first initial date, their first kiss, the awkward first “I love you”, when they finally moved in together, those where the times she cherished and wished never went away. Because with all that sweetness came the Sour. The long drawn out fights, the screaming matches, the belittling and unfortunately the unwanted submission and losing of one’s self worth. She shuddered, remembering the first time Eric had finally laid his hands on her, sealing her fate, the frail woman was finally broken after years of torment and neglect. She felt as if she was forever indebted to him, it was his roof after all he allowed her to live under. She remembered passing friends who left not because they where cruel, no, but because they saw the torment and self loathing in her eyes and saw what that wolves in sheep’s clothing was doing to her. Instead of sitting by and watching her crumble into nothingness, they stood up and tried to help, but with little to no success. She sighed, trying to mentally calm herself she remembered the day she finally was able to break away, it was because of her daughter that she was able to find the strength to leave her oppressors side, because she knew, she wanted better for her, she didn’t want her little girl to grow up thinking that what he was doing was OK. Because it wasn’t. Alice slowly starts to sit up, mentally willing the pain away, yes, she left broken and barley alive, even, but it was because of her daughter that she we able to pick up some pieces of self worth and leave. Alice with her makeup smeared and hair still a mess, gracefully stood up, peeled off her ring attire, threw them off to the side, and dressed down in sweatpants, black converse and an oversized Jimi Hendrix tee. She silently put on her oversized sunglasses and walked out of the dressing room, into the long hallway, out to the taxi and quietly asked to be dropped off at her hotel.]
4 weeks later:
[Alice is in her hotel room Bathing, she stares out of the window quietly dazing off, she hadn’t really talked since that night at Ascension and everyone she knew could tell something within her was off even her kids. She slowly lifts her left arm out of the soapy water and absentmindedly studies it. As her gaze slowly goes from the tips of her fingers to the crease in her arm she thinks about the day she went home, how her daughter kept asking if she was happy. She hated how that little girl could see right through her, she remembered trying to put a fake smile on for her little one, and telling her how everything was OK. She remembered the look of confusion on her daughters face, she dipped her arm back into the water and sighed. She couldn’t stay in here forever, no matter how hard she tries, submerging herself fully in the bath water one last time, she pulls the cork from the tub, stands up and throws on her bathrobe. Gracefully Alice steps out of the claw foot tub and onto the plush White bath rug, inspects her face to make sure any and all traces of makeup was washed away, slipped back into bed, half a bottle of wine in hand, with her makeup bag and phone, turned on the TV and drank the afternoon away.]
*banging on door*
Unknown voice: “Hey Dollface!! Open the damn door! I know how you are when it comes to losing and you could see it all over your face last match! Now [annoyed] I know your in there, stop ignoring me and [starts loudly banging at the door] OPEN *BANG* THIS *BANG* FUCKING *BANG* DOOR *BANG*BANG*BANG*BANG*
[Alice looks as though in a daze, sitting peacefully with her full face on, signature red lips included, a cup of tea in hand complete with the full set sitting right next to her, still robed from her bath earlier, but that wasn’t the most shocking thing in the picture, what looked like a pile of silverware was actually a shiny gun, resting peacefully on her inner thigh.]
Alice: [softly] “Oh, there is no need to bang, the door is unlocked for Christ sakes. [Takes a sip from her cup.] You swear as if I’m being held hostage, you should know better than anyone that I like to be left alone during these trying times.
[Alice’s hotel room door swings open and there stood Satine, all red faced and angry looking, just like the old days. Alice couldn’t help but start laughing once she saw her old friend, nuthatches as soon as the laughs started they ended, turning into big hiccuped sobs. As soon as Satine saw her friend and the gun in her hand, she ran and jumped on top of her. Alice struggled at first, but quickly dismissed to her friend and held onto her as if she was the only thing that was real in that entire room. Satine stocked her hair and whispered encouraging word into her ear, they sat their for what seemed like hours, catching up and taking as if no fine had passed at all.]
Alice: “I missed you so much S, how did you know where I would be?!”
Satine: “You could honestly thank your daughter [laughs] your mom called me because she said Marie said it was “impewitent” that she got hold of me. So we talked for a solid 5 minutes and she said I needed to go for you because mommy was really sad when we had our lunch date “
[Alice closes her eyes, tears slowly start to fall down as a small smile formed on her distraught face.]
Alice: [whispers] “Oh Marie, you are smarter than you honestly should be,[sighs] what am I ever going to do with you?”
[Just as Satine was about to ask another question, Alice’s phone chimes and lights up, an email from WZCW merrily lights up he screen, Alice flinches, a little off put about going back out there.]
Satine: “Baby, are you seriously backing down from a challenge? You the youngest in your troupe, a gifted learner in both burlesque AND wrestling. You, who like a Phoenix, rose out of the ashes of your former abused and broken shell? That’s honestly not like you babe.”
Alice: [teary eyed] “I know… I’m just… so afraid, for once in my life, I felt helpless, yeah, I had the drive and the determination to want to beat him, but I was seriously lacking in strength, I was helpless, just a rag doll… just like that first time when he… when Eric…[hiccups] NO! I’m not that helpless girl anymore! [Wipes tears from her eyes] I just.. lost my composure. But you are right, I can’t act like this anymore… thanks S.. honestly I don’t know what I would do without you.”
[Alice hugs Satine one last time before opening the email. She raised her eyebrows quizzically. She let’s out a short half maddening laugh.]
Satine: “What’s up with the Norman Bates laugh dollface?”
Alice: “Oh S, it was for my match at R- Awakening… I’m apparently going up against not one… but two people; one I have fought before, Halloway is her name, she is like me, she likes to seem calm, cool and collected, but is, in all honesty just a very petty woman clearly with self esteem issues and a severe lack of self love and empowerment [shrugs] I guess in laments terms she’s a prune. But she is going to be pretty challenging, she’s coming into this with a win, and blood in her eyes. The other person.. well I guess HE used to flip burgers at McDonald’s, [scoffs] he calls himself the glorious most amazing fry cook in his county [rolls eyes]. He obviously fought against Miss Halloway first and amusingly lost, but he did recently gain a win.. and he honestly seems like the type to get a big head fast. Now… what is your name Mr. Fry cook…?” [Scrolls through Mr. Fry cooks profile]
Satine: “Oh god, you and your ridiculous nicknames, I thought you cut that kiddy shit out years ago.”[snickers playfully]
Alice: [Blushes bright red] “Shut up! You know I don’t mean to… [hits Satines’ arm playfully] but I mean.. I still feel awful.. like, why, why is it if I’m already feeling just a little off just hearing HIS voice.. send me over the edge?”
Satine: “Oh Buttercup, it’s because when you love [lays her head on top of Alice’s] you love with all your heart, and that’s why it still hurts, because no matter how many walls you put up and no matter how many masks you wear or design, your love for him will always give him the upper hand, but, look, your going to be fine [lifts her head and stares at Alice] I’m here with some stress relieving news-“
Alice: [interrupts her mid sentence] “a robot man that can pamper me, actually satisfy me in bed and rub my feet?”
Satine: [rolls her eyes and laughs] “No girl, shit, you know me, if I had a robot like that, I would not give it to you, or even share for that matter, haha, mine. But seriously, I have a couple of friends who do music and… [Satine pauses, letting Alice groan and complain a bit] shut the fudge up Bitch [laughs] so I showed them one of your old videos of you singing and… they want you to be on their song and in their new video.”
Alice: “oh no.. listen S, that was a long time ago…”
Satine: “oh come on, you do it for your performances sometimes,”
Alice: “ That’s honestly rarely, and even then I have to be stoned for that. [Alice rolls her eyes, she doesn’t like bringing up the fact that she smokes, a lot, it helps calm her seas] I just, I don’t know,I don’t have the right voice for something like that.”
Satine: “Can you please try? For me?”
[Satine gets off the bed, and starts walking towards the door]
Satine: “look, I get it, your scared, but bottom line, I gave them your email, you should expect one in about 30 minutes, just do me a favor, don’t sleep on this, you have so much in your mind you need to release it, just at least hear them out, please, for me?”
[Before Alice could give a reply, Satine was out the door.]
Alice: “Still the same as ever, can’t even say goodbye.”
[And as if by magic, exactly 30 minutes later her phone went off, Alice lazily picked it up and opened the email, she raised her eyebrows in surprise, there was no scripted sales pitch to try and convince her to sing, or even listen for that matter. The subject line said, Your Sanctuary, and the body of the message was only a sound clip and a single sentence, “if our music can’t convince you, then maybe you are not right for us.” Alice made a face, and clicked on the clip, as soon as the opening beat came on, she became instances in every cord, every, wire and every vibration. Alice closed the music player, grabbed her journal where she wrote all her personal poetry that no one has ever heard or even seen, opened the voice recorder app and began to sing…]
Night Before R- Awakening
[Alice is sitting in her hotel room in Tampa, Florida. She is absentmindedly looking outside and day dreaming, she slowly begins to smile while getting lost in what seemed to be a very pleasant dream when the little chime of her lone brought her back to reality, Alice snapped out of it and picked her phone up, it was an email from the band Satine had hooked up with her, nervously, Alice begins to shift in her seat. She was both excited yet anxious to see what their comments would be. She opens the email and was shocked to see there was no subject line nor body letter. Instead all there was, was a link to a video. Alice, curiously clicked the link. Her eyes lit up with delight when she saw all her hard work paid off. Giddily she jumped up out if bed and did a little dance, her once broken and frustrated soul, finally felt somewhat normal. She called her mother who was watching both her daughter and her son, talked to her babbling baby boy for a few, then to her daughter. Once she was off the phone Alice smiled, for the first time in weeks, she felt as if she could take on the world, now, her match between both Kole and Halloway brought her excitement instead of fear, for she knew, that if she put her mind to it, she could beat Kole and if she just relied on her instincts, she could make Halloway fall yet again. Alice crawled into bed content with the world for that night, she closed her eyes and the last thing she remembered before drifting into unconsciousness was her song, that was finally online for the world to see]