Princesses: A cracked style look

[Lee]

As long as there have been plumbers in gaming there have been princesses, princesses who have needed saving. So who are my favourite Princesses I've encountered?

5. Princess Peach
Yes I've got her in fifth pretty much because I've already wrote my thing on her being absolutely crazy. Here's the quote:

OK she must have been about 18 the first time she was kidnapped, our fiery red head was saved by the Super Mario Bros., at the time she had seven advisor's who would disguise themselves as her (maybe using the science mentioned in point three), this happens in SMB1 and Lost-levels, now going on with current tradition that she gets kidnapped on her birthday, I say that the king dies sometime after her 19th birthday. With that she goes bat shit crazy. She dies her hair blonde, re-writes the history books to say that she had never had red hair, eventually she drops the toadstool and calls herself Peach. Add into that the fact that she often will have sporting tournaments in her kingdom (golf/tennis/karting) with a guy who has kidnapped her several times is just outrageous. We'll not even get into the fact that she's about 23 and probably doing a man in his forties. Seriously she's a young 20's blonde princess and picks a fat Italian American plumber?! Oh I've been kidnapped on my Birthday AGAIN I can't wait until next year when I have another birthday party, oh I better invite the Super Mario Bros. just in case.

4. Princess Sara

Spoiler

Very helpful in the original Final Fantasy game of giving me a passage in the Chaos shrine, she also rocks up in FFIII helping us several times throughout the game, and having a bit of a flirt with Ingus. Then there's FFIX where it turns out she's one of the main characters (not going to spoil it for you). So you may think aww good she's a nice Princess, but it's when you look at her 8-bit carnation that she's flipping genius. This is a webcomic spoofing Final Fantasy, in this c arnation they become fully aware that with her being kidnapped quite a few times, the chances are is that she knows all about how to be a super villain so trains up poor Garland. Brilliant.

3. Princess Daisy

Spoiler

And people say Luigi gets a raw deal? Having only been kidnapped once, Daisy shows up as not being absolutely crazy. Obviously she cares for her friend Peach, hence why she is always there to aid her during games such as Mario Party, Kart, Tennis etc. She vanished from the series for a while and many people have speculated as to why that actually is. The logical reason is Daisy actually cares for her kingdom and actually puts time into helping her parents rule this wonderful peaceful land.

Also Daisy is so cool she was the main love interest in SMBMovie, though the thing I don't get about her VG appearance is she's supposed to be a TomBoy but LOVES flowers. Go figure.

2. Fat Princesses

Spoiler

Fat Princess is a brilliant game, it's a PSN games (though also on PSP) in which you have to save your fat Princess from the opposing team. These are Princesses with carefree attitudes, getting kidnapped quite regular (more than anyone else on this list) they don't really care for a simple reason. They love Cake. When they eat Cake they get fat. Hence why they are fat Princesses, absolutely great humour in this gaming thoroughly mocking the “kidnapped princess” storyline in games. Genius.

1. Oh come on did you expect anyone else?

This is a Princess who can look after herself so much so that she was trusted with the great Ocarina of Time to look after, this being one of the Hylian's must dear symbol. She's always been there to help Link by giving vital information and even as a playable chracter in Spirit Tracks. The Series is named after her so much so that most people think Link is called Zelda! Not the case, this is her Legend and a name that is passed from generation to generation. Oh and:

Spoiler

To this day one of the best “I didn't see that coming” style twists in any video gme is that Zelda has been this guy who's been badass and saving you and shit. So for the addition of Sheik I put Zelda at number one.

Who are your favourite Princesses? What about Rosalina? What about all the others in random RPGs? Let me know what you think.

 

[Arkham Noir]

What about Rosalina?

Ask and you shall recieve.

Rosalina debuted in the classic Super Mario Galaxy as more of a princess of all princesses; She was the princess of the universe. A bit of her back story: Rosalina was a regular child who lived on an earth like planet (suspected to be Mushroom world) until she one day encountered a luma. The Luma had crash landed on her planet, and was in search of its mother. Rosalina quickly bonded with the luma and than help it fix its ship. She didn't want to leave it alone and decided to set off into space with it. She spent many years in space helping the poor lost luma in its quest to find its mother, but to no avail. In spite of how much she missed her home and her parents, she took it upon herself to become the mother of the luma and she soon became the foster mother of the entire luma race. She built her Comet Observatory and has fostered them ever since.

She did not forget about her home though, and made a vow to visit mushroom world every one-thousand years. Her visit made an impression on the denizens, and the image or her observatory passing by became know as tThe Star Festival. Rosalina is my personal favourite princess. Rosalina stands out from her counterpart Peach for two different reasons.

The first is that she did something in her first appearence that Peach has failed to do in over twenty years: not get kidnapped by Bowser. Bowser launched an assault to steal the power stars from her observatory, but he couldn't trap her in a painting or wisk her away. Peach on the other hand has had her entire fleet of Toads locked up, her castle launched into the sky on two different occasions, and had her power stars stolen.

In Peach we trust.

The second thing that seperates Rosalina from, not only Peach, but almost all main characters in the Nintendo fracnchise is a solemness that is rarely seen among thier characters. Rosalina doesn't jump up and down cheering, she doesn't have a giant perma smile splashed across her face. She has a monotone voice at all times and a rather gloomy backstory in contrast to anything that has every graced a Mario Bros. game.

So where does Rosalina rank up among the list of Princesses out there? Well, odds are she won't be making many, if any, more appearances in games. Rosalina has the daunting task of being princess of the universe, meaning she has to watch out for any and all other planets that are floating out there in space,and that's on top of caring for the entire Luma species. I'd say she is just as capable as any other princess, and definantly more compatant than many.