Doody-ka-ka
Dark Match Winner
I was pretty bored yesterday, so I decided to watch some Impact, for the first time ever. Atleast watching it with my full attention.
I'll admit, the first part was actually pretty good. Probably because it was done by 2 very good wrestlers. It was a promo involving Angle and Jarret. I could get into what they were talking about and it wasn't bad. But it only went downhill from there..
Up next was a tag match that starts out with 2 dudes with guitar hero controllers and Christy Hemme singing. First WTF of the show.
Then out comes some generic bigguy with Blueprint written across his penis, dancing on the stage. WTF #2.
Out next is one I actually know teaming up with Blueprintpenis, Abyss. I like him but I don't really know what he was trying to do with his outfit. Auditioning for a spot in Slipknot?
What I got from the match was that Blueprintpenis and Abyss were squashing the Guitar Hero guys. Fair enough, lots of squashes in the WWE too.
Out comes Team 3D, another pair of guys I know. They mention the WWE, WTF #3. They cut a pretty boring promo, and then suddenly Abyss starts freaking out. I have no idea why.
Then they cut to some segment with the knockouts talking forever, didn't really pay that much attention, maybe my fault.
They start hyping Bound for Glory. Fair enough. Wait, it lasted fucking 3 minutes. 3 minutes of hyping in a row, wtf #4. That combined with the random knockout thing was way too long with nothing going on.
Mike Tenay starts talking about some Guererro (spelled wrong probably) and some chick, saying if they lose tonight they'll have to leave their team forever or something. Why? They give no explenation.
Now to some promo with..wtf, Beer Money? What the hell, lol. What's next, Mojita Dollar?
The promo just drags on with some yelling cowboyish dude yelling about their women not leaving TNA. Again, why the fuck is this stipulation here? And the promo flatout sucked. I've seen better work from Shelton Benjamin..
Another knockout hype video. Super.
Out next is Whoopie Goldberg on steroids, joined by Osama Bin Ladens wife it seems. This could be good, a powerhouse diva. I like seeing people get destroyed.
Some other knockout is already in the ring. I have no clue who it is. Smelling a squash. I was right.
Out comes Osama's wife with a chair. She hit's Whoopie in the back and Don West orgasms. Oh my god that guy can yell for no reason. Turns out to be some Roxxi chick. Again, I have no idea why that's an OMG moment or who Roxxi is, no explenation given what so ever. Don West keeps orgasming.
Out comes Osama's real wife tied in some rope. Again, why?
Next up is an interview segment with Christian. I liked this up untill the chick got pms. Up untill that it looked real and believable. I've always liked Christian, could be why I liked this.
Up next is another interview segment with LAX and Hector Guererro. Who the fuck is Hector? And why is he with LAX? I like LAX, but that Hector dude almost make them look like a comedy act. The interview made no sense what so ever and ends with Homicide doing a Soulja Boy.
Next is some video segment to horrible music. It did nothing, I could've easily have watched better things than this on youtube, god.
Next is a promo with Booker T. Yep, they've destroyed Booker T, or he destroyed himself. I don't want to see this, I've seen enough of Booker in WCW and WWE.
Finally it looks like we get some more in ring action. LAX is coming to the ring with Hector. This could be good, TNA delivers in the ring.
Out next is Mojita Dollar. Why in the sweet fuck of the lord is that guy wearing a football helmet with beer bottles on it? WTF #5.
The match was ok, not great. The gringo cutter beats everything Randy Orton has done, and I like Randy. Mojito Dollar wins by Beerhelmet knockout. Wtf? Again, I have no idea why this match is going on, or why Hector has to leave now.
Then they hype the wrestler that has just been in action 5 seconds ago. Why? Not a big problem, just seemed odd.
I wont even comment on the next promo. Oh my fucking god that was horrible. Some foreign man and a woman in a bed, singing. Seriously what the fuck is going on? I'm trying to like Impact, but this is just killing it.
Sting promo now. Been a long time since I've seen him. Think the last time I saw him was back when I was 9 in WCW.
He rants on about something I haven't really figured out yet. As far as I understand it's the veterans against the TNA originals or something.
Why does he have to keep mentioning WWE? This did nothing good for WCW so why repeat a proven mistake?
I guess the promo was alright. Dragged on for a little too long though, atleast in my opinion. But again, this wasn't bad. And I could understand what was going on.
Another "Cross the Line" video. What is that?
We then cut to some completely random segment with Blueprintpenis trying to calm down Abyss, whos seems to still be freaking out. Again, and still don't know why. No explenation given.
They hype BFG for the 3rd time, and they've done it the exact same way twice. Anoying.
That steel asylum thing looks pretty cool.
Next is a Samoa Joe promo. I've never seen the big thing about him. Is that just me? Sure, he's good in the ring, but that's about it. But that's just my opinion. Promo was ok at best. To be honest, he should just shut up and focus and kicking ass, since that's what he does best.
Suicide video thing. Thought he was a video game character. Hmm.
Samoa Joe vs. Abdul Mohammed Asad Malik Bukake Ahmed, or something. Who is he? Appearently he's the X Division champion. What happened to Christopher Daniels? Oh yeah, Curry Man. Sigh..
The match is okay, I guess. Joe chokes out Abduldude after the match. I like this, focus on kicking ass as I said.
AJ Styles promo. Not the best promo but I like AJ. Hyping the upcoming Booker T vs. AJ Styles match.
Christian Cage comes out, appearently friends with AJ.
The match wasn't that good in my opinion. Maybe because I have no idea what's going on. TNA needs to do a better job of explaining things to new viewers.
Overall as you can see, I didn't like Impact that much. Trust me, I REALLY tried. I wanted to like it so bad. I love wrestling, so I should be able to like TNA, but no..
The whole show seems to like.. Think it's bigger than it is. Everything seems low budget, there's no pop/heat when people come to the ring, the only real thing the crowd is doing is chanting TNA which gets annoying.
I know WWE sometimes show old stuff too much, like Big Show punching Taker, but it makes sense. New viewers get to see why they don't like eachother, and why they are feuding. I never fully understood what was going on on Impact, even though I really tried.
The commentating is horrible, seriously horrible. Why do they keep Don West? He's abysmal. He contributed with nothing but a headache for me. Throw Mick Foley in instead of him please.
What did I do wrong? Why do YOU like TNA? Please explain it to me. I really want to like it, I really do. I want more wrestling, but Impact is just not exciting to me. Should I keep watching it to get into the storyline at some point? They sure as hell didn't make it easy for me.
The whole show was 1 step forward, then 2 steps back. You got something good going with LAX vs. Beer Money, and then right after you cut to some segment with a foreign dude in bed with a redhead, singing. WHY? That just frustrates me. I can't see the point in it. Maybe Gilberti can explain this to me.
I'll admit, the first part was actually pretty good. Probably because it was done by 2 very good wrestlers. It was a promo involving Angle and Jarret. I could get into what they were talking about and it wasn't bad. But it only went downhill from there..
Up next was a tag match that starts out with 2 dudes with guitar hero controllers and Christy Hemme singing. First WTF of the show.
Then out comes some generic bigguy with Blueprint written across his penis, dancing on the stage. WTF #2.
Out next is one I actually know teaming up with Blueprintpenis, Abyss. I like him but I don't really know what he was trying to do with his outfit. Auditioning for a spot in Slipknot?
What I got from the match was that Blueprintpenis and Abyss were squashing the Guitar Hero guys. Fair enough, lots of squashes in the WWE too.
Out comes Team 3D, another pair of guys I know. They mention the WWE, WTF #3. They cut a pretty boring promo, and then suddenly Abyss starts freaking out. I have no idea why.
Then they cut to some segment with the knockouts talking forever, didn't really pay that much attention, maybe my fault.
They start hyping Bound for Glory. Fair enough. Wait, it lasted fucking 3 minutes. 3 minutes of hyping in a row, wtf #4. That combined with the random knockout thing was way too long with nothing going on.
Mike Tenay starts talking about some Guererro (spelled wrong probably) and some chick, saying if they lose tonight they'll have to leave their team forever or something. Why? They give no explenation.
Now to some promo with..wtf, Beer Money? What the hell, lol. What's next, Mojita Dollar?
The promo just drags on with some yelling cowboyish dude yelling about their women not leaving TNA. Again, why the fuck is this stipulation here? And the promo flatout sucked. I've seen better work from Shelton Benjamin..
Another knockout hype video. Super.
Out next is Whoopie Goldberg on steroids, joined by Osama Bin Ladens wife it seems. This could be good, a powerhouse diva. I like seeing people get destroyed.
Some other knockout is already in the ring. I have no clue who it is. Smelling a squash. I was right.
Out comes Osama's wife with a chair. She hit's Whoopie in the back and Don West orgasms. Oh my god that guy can yell for no reason. Turns out to be some Roxxi chick. Again, I have no idea why that's an OMG moment or who Roxxi is, no explenation given what so ever. Don West keeps orgasming.
Out comes Osama's real wife tied in some rope. Again, why?
Next up is an interview segment with Christian. I liked this up untill the chick got pms. Up untill that it looked real and believable. I've always liked Christian, could be why I liked this.
Up next is another interview segment with LAX and Hector Guererro. Who the fuck is Hector? And why is he with LAX? I like LAX, but that Hector dude almost make them look like a comedy act. The interview made no sense what so ever and ends with Homicide doing a Soulja Boy.
Next is some video segment to horrible music. It did nothing, I could've easily have watched better things than this on youtube, god.
Next is a promo with Booker T. Yep, they've destroyed Booker T, or he destroyed himself. I don't want to see this, I've seen enough of Booker in WCW and WWE.
Finally it looks like we get some more in ring action. LAX is coming to the ring with Hector. This could be good, TNA delivers in the ring.
Out next is Mojita Dollar. Why in the sweet fuck of the lord is that guy wearing a football helmet with beer bottles on it? WTF #5.
The match was ok, not great. The gringo cutter beats everything Randy Orton has done, and I like Randy. Mojito Dollar wins by Beerhelmet knockout. Wtf? Again, I have no idea why this match is going on, or why Hector has to leave now.
Then they hype the wrestler that has just been in action 5 seconds ago. Why? Not a big problem, just seemed odd.
I wont even comment on the next promo. Oh my fucking god that was horrible. Some foreign man and a woman in a bed, singing. Seriously what the fuck is going on? I'm trying to like Impact, but this is just killing it.
Sting promo now. Been a long time since I've seen him. Think the last time I saw him was back when I was 9 in WCW.
He rants on about something I haven't really figured out yet. As far as I understand it's the veterans against the TNA originals or something.
Why does he have to keep mentioning WWE? This did nothing good for WCW so why repeat a proven mistake?
I guess the promo was alright. Dragged on for a little too long though, atleast in my opinion. But again, this wasn't bad. And I could understand what was going on.
Another "Cross the Line" video. What is that?
We then cut to some completely random segment with Blueprintpenis trying to calm down Abyss, whos seems to still be freaking out. Again, and still don't know why. No explenation given.
They hype BFG for the 3rd time, and they've done it the exact same way twice. Anoying.
That steel asylum thing looks pretty cool.
Next is a Samoa Joe promo. I've never seen the big thing about him. Is that just me? Sure, he's good in the ring, but that's about it. But that's just my opinion. Promo was ok at best. To be honest, he should just shut up and focus and kicking ass, since that's what he does best.
Suicide video thing. Thought he was a video game character. Hmm.
Samoa Joe vs. Abdul Mohammed Asad Malik Bukake Ahmed, or something. Who is he? Appearently he's the X Division champion. What happened to Christopher Daniels? Oh yeah, Curry Man. Sigh..
The match is okay, I guess. Joe chokes out Abduldude after the match. I like this, focus on kicking ass as I said.
AJ Styles promo. Not the best promo but I like AJ. Hyping the upcoming Booker T vs. AJ Styles match.
Christian Cage comes out, appearently friends with AJ.
The match wasn't that good in my opinion. Maybe because I have no idea what's going on. TNA needs to do a better job of explaining things to new viewers.
Overall as you can see, I didn't like Impact that much. Trust me, I REALLY tried. I wanted to like it so bad. I love wrestling, so I should be able to like TNA, but no..
The whole show seems to like.. Think it's bigger than it is. Everything seems low budget, there's no pop/heat when people come to the ring, the only real thing the crowd is doing is chanting TNA which gets annoying.
I know WWE sometimes show old stuff too much, like Big Show punching Taker, but it makes sense. New viewers get to see why they don't like eachother, and why they are feuding. I never fully understood what was going on on Impact, even though I really tried.
The commentating is horrible, seriously horrible. Why do they keep Don West? He's abysmal. He contributed with nothing but a headache for me. Throw Mick Foley in instead of him please.
What did I do wrong? Why do YOU like TNA? Please explain it to me. I really want to like it, I really do. I want more wrestling, but Impact is just not exciting to me. Should I keep watching it to get into the storyline at some point? They sure as hell didn't make it easy for me.
The whole show was 1 step forward, then 2 steps back. You got something good going with LAX vs. Beer Money, and then right after you cut to some segment with a foreign dude in bed with a redhead, singing. WHY? That just frustrates me. I can't see the point in it. Maybe Gilberti can explain this to me.
Better as singles, admittedly. Still, low blow.