#5 Friday Night LampShade
Sydney, Australia
*Fireworks go off as LampShades new theme "Somewhere I belong - Linkin Park" plays*
Beau Allen: Welcome OWN fans across the world! Tonight LampShade heads DOWN UNDER!
Gene Snitsky: Thats right folks tonights LampShade will be taking place in Sydney Australia!
Beau Allen: Yes and you seem to have healed from your injurys Gene.
Gene Snitsky: Oh yeah dont remind me.
Beau Allen: Well none the less we have a huge night lined up for you. Stone cold will answer the question everyones asking, "Why austin?"
Gene Snitsky: Dont forget this is Devins last week on LampShade before he will be shipped over to the new brand of OWN. That show is DampTowel!
Beau Allen: Also I heard that coming up right now is a special announcement regarding the future of OWN from none other than new GM Gregory Helms!
*Helms theme plays as he makes his way to the ring, He is wearing an expensive looking suit*
Lillian: Making his way to the ring, The General Manager of LampShade, GREGORY HELMS!
Beau Allen: What could this announcement be?
Gene Snitsky: Who knows?
*Helms grabs a mic off Lillian*
Helms: Ok ok... cut the music. I have spoken with Shane Mcmahon, who I might add is on a swift road to recovery. I suggested some changes that I think should be made to OWN and guess what? He likes my ideas and has put them foward.
Beau Allen: Ideas?
Helms: From this point on, In OWN there is no rules at all!
Beau: WHAT!?!?
Helms: THe will no longer be matches ruined by DQs. The letters D and Q dont exist here anymore! *Crowd goes wild*
Gene: This aint ECW!
Beau: Wait a second. So let me get this straight in all the matches there is going to be no rules?
Gene: Seems that way.
Beau: Hell yeah!
Helms: Ok, but that isnt all. See all those shiny belts? They all will be defended at all times. 24/7 rules! But wait that doesnt mean anyone can go for any title. You have to be in contention atleast... So on OWN.com contention brackets will be shown each week so you can know who can go for what belt!
Beau: OH MY GOD!
Helms: Ok some people would be wondering why I did this. Well put simply, I noticed a sense of hardcore in OWN. Look at the PPV for example. Only one match didnt have no rules! Ok enough of this. Im going to kick off the show the right way. Bring it down!
*A black bag lowers from the ceiling*
Beau: Whats that?
Gene: A black bag dumb ass!
Helms: Since the Extreme Title was the midcard title for LampShade and seeing as there isnt any point having and extreme title when there is no rules, Also since its been moved to DampTowel I have created a new Midcard belt for LampShade! *Crowd goes wild again*
Gene: Wow?
*Helms removes the bag*
Helms: I present to you all the OWN DreamWaker Title. *Crowd pops* This belt comes with a stipulation. THat stipulation being that when a person wins the belt they become no. 1 contender for the World Title! If they win the world title, The DreamWaker belt is surrendered and a new DreamWaker champ is determined.
Beau: WOW!
Gene: *Snore*
Helms: So how about we get right underway and determine a DreamWaker champion? *Crowd pops again* Ok lets give the randomizer another good old spin!
*THe randomizer appears on the titantron*
Beau: Uh oh! I can see mine and your faces Gene!
Gene: Oh hell no!
Helms: The randomizer will pick 2 people who will face off for the dreamwaker belt. The winner of that match will be able to challenge for the World Title any time between now and the next PPV. Start the randomizer!
*The randomizer starts, The crowd pops as the randomizer zooms past wrestlers faces*
Gene: Please not me!
Beau: Whos it gonna be?
*The randomizer slows down... CHRISTIAN CAGE!*
Helms: Ok weve got one of the competitors! Cage get out here right now!
*Christian Cages theme plays as he makes his way to the ring with a cocky look on his face*
Beau: ITS CHRISTIAN CAGE!
Gene: Who will his opponent be?
Beau: We will have to wait and see...
*Cage snatches helms mic*
Cage: Heh it doesnt matter who it is. I will take them out and win the DreamWaker belt then ill go staright on and win that World Title off Brown!
*Helms grabs the mic back off him*
Helms: Never take the mic of me you son of a b**ch!
*Cage is pissed off and jumping around the ring in anger*
Helms: Start the randomizer!
*The randomizer starts again*
Gene: PLEASE NOT ME!
*The randomizer stops... LUKE LIGHTNING!
Beau: OH MY GOD! We all know the history between these to!
Gene: Thank god it wasnt me!
*Lightnings theme "Survive - Rise Against" plays as he runs to the ring*
*Helms hops out of the ring with the dreamwaker belt*
Beau: This is gonna be an awesome match!
Gene: Remember there isnt any rules in OWN anymore!
Beau: Thats right who knows what youll see.
*They both stare eachother down*
Match 1: OWN DreamWaker Title Match
Luke Lightning vs Christian Cage
They both exchange dirty looks. Cage then suddenly takes a swing at Luke. Luke blocks and starts delivering hard rights and lefts to Cages face. He then hits a massive clothesline sending Cage to the mat. Luke bounces off the ropes then hits a standing shooting star press on Cage. The cover 1.....2... KICK OUT! Luke lifts up Cage and irish whips him into the turnbuckle. Luke charges at him and hits a stinger splash. Cage falls to the mat. Luke climbs the turnbuckle and waits for Cage to get to his feet. Cage slowly makes it to his feet. Luke shouts "Hows this look?". He then does a huge dragonrana into a pin. 1.........2.....KICK OUT! Just at the last second. Luke seems to be enjoying what hes doing to Cage. Luke lifts up Cage and throws him over the top rope. Cage lands hard on his back. Luke runs and bounces off the rope he charges at the other rope and hits a somersault plancha to the outside on Cage.
Beau Allen: Luke is showing a spectacular array of moves so far.
Luke lifts up the ring apron and looks under the ring. He pulls out a table and sets it up. He looks under again and pulls out another table. He sets it up on top of it. He grabs Cage and lifts him up but Cage quickly thumbs him in the eyes and hit a low blow. Luke is down. Cage grabs Lukes head and slams it into the ring post and slides Luke into the ring. Cage slides in after him.
Cage climbs the turnbuckle and waits for Luke to get to his feet. Luke slowly makes his way to his feet and Cage hits a flying clothesline! Cage gets up and taunts. He slides out of the ring grabs a chair from ringside. Luke suddenly hits a springboard missile dropkick to the outside on Cage. The cahir cage was holding comes crashing into his face. Luke grabs a headset off Snitsky.
Luke: How about we finish this?
He rips off the headset and tosses it down. He grabs Cage and rolls him in the ring. Luke slides in after him. Luke lifts up Cage and kicks him in the gut, Luke runs and bounces off the rope. Cage goes for a clothesline Luke ducks under and grabs him in a rock bottom position and then front flips landing like a side effect.
Gene: WHAT WAS THAT MOVE?!?! A FLIPPING ROCK BOTTOM OR SOMETHING??
Beau: He calls the move the "ThunderStruck"! He told me today.
Luke grabs Cage and irish whips him into the turnbuckle. He puts Cage on the top turnbuckle. He climbs up and hits a ThunderStruck through the 2 tables that they set up earlier outside. Luke gets the cover...1.......2......3 GOT HIM!
Winner: Luke Lightning
Lillian: Heres your winner and the new, DreamWaker Champion! LUKE LIGHTNING!
Beau: Lightning is the first DreamWaker champion! He can now challenge for the World Title any time between now and the next PPV.
*Luke grabs a mic*
Luke: Wow yet another easy win for *Crowd says it with him*, The high flying, death defying, often lying, make your mothers start crying, never gonna be dying, TRUELY ELECTRIFYING! LUKE LIGHTNING! But NO NO NO! That isnt all.. Luke Lightning is the DreamWaker champion! Luke Lightning is soon to be World Champion! Luke Lightning will get to the top of the mountain!.... He just wants to know who hes gotta knock off to get there..
*Monty Browns theme plays and he comes out wearing a suit*
Luke: Oh so your the guy huh? I got one question.. Why the hell are you such a punkass son of a bitch?
*Brown grabs Lukes mic*
Brown: You know youve got a real attitude problem boy... Noone talks to the ALLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPHHHHHAAA MMAAALLLLEEEE like that!
*Luke grabs the mic back*
Luke: Looks like I just did. *Brown gets an even angrier look on his face* Maybe you should just give up now and take your punkass back on down to that jungle of yours for some good old beastiality lovin'.
Beau: WOAH!
Gene: Thats just gross.
*Brown is extremely pissed off, He snatches the mic back*
Brown: Ok bitch me and you tonight for my title! *Crowd goes wild!*
Beau: WOAH!!!!
*Luke starts nodding in agreement*
Brown: Acctually..... Ive got another idea. me and you can have a contract signing first...
*Luke grabs the mic*
Luke: If I wasnt a fair man id knock your ass out right now and pin you 123! But we will play it your way King of the animal sex.
*Brown is extremely pissed off about the remark*
*Luke hops out of the ring as his theme plays and he exits to backstage*
Beau: Luke is gonna get us pulled off the air!
Gene: That was innappropriate. I hope Brown flattens him tonight!
Beau: Well we will go to a commercial break and coming up soon will be Austin answering the question everyone wants answered. Why?
(Commercial Break)
Beau: Were back!
Gene: Will the rattlesnake reply?
Beau: We will find out soon!
Backstage Segment:
Krystal: Billy you did the impossible at Alpha Omega, You did what noone thought you could do! You defeated London and his ninjas in the steel cage ambulance match!
Kidman: What does that turn you on or something krystal?
Krystal: Well umm yeah..
*Krystal leans forward to kiss kidman, but kidman backs away*
Kidman: Woah, I wasnt asking for a smooch krystal!
*Krystals face goes red*
Krystal: Sorry.. But what do you have to say about winning the skyhigh title?
Kidman: I have to say that noone will be taking this title from me!
*Suddenly Matt hardy appears and hits Kidman with a lowblow from behind, a ref is present. The cover 1.....2......3 GOT HIM! A NEW CHAMPION!*
Beau: Matt hardy is the skyhigh champion!?!?!
*Jeff hardy appears and kicks matt in the gut and twist of fates him. The cover 1.......2.......3, A NEW CHAMP!*
Gene: Now Jeff is champ!
*Jeff turns around right into a Kidman buster, the cover 1.......2......3 Kidman gains the title back!*
Beau: Kidman got it back!
Kidman: Told you Krystal I wont be losing this title...
*Kidman walks off*
Beau: Wow Kidman just showed that no matter what he wont give up that skyhigh belt!
Gene: Yeah these new 24/7 rules are going to be interesting.
Backstage Segment
*Kennedy and GoldBerg are in there locker room getting ready*
Kennedy: Bill tonight me and you have god on our side in our match for the tag titles against Big Show and a mystery partner, Now that walls of samoa our out for a month thanks to what I did back with my old team... Everything is good... But lets look to the future Bill... Faith Attack... Ken Kennedy and Bill Goldberg...
Goldberg: No im not goldberg any more... Im GODberg!
Kennedy: Hehe ok Godberg! You almost ready? Our match is soon.
Godberg: There isnt a reason to be ready when you have faith!
*They both slowly stare up to the heavens as the screen fades away*
Beau: So goldberg is now Godberg? Thats new ha!
Gene: Well up next is Austins explaination!
*Glass breaks, Austins theme plays as he makes his way to the ring on a four wheeler, He quickly gets a mic*
Austin: If you want an explaination for stone cold gimme a hell yeah!
Crowd: HELL YEAH!
Beau: Hell yeah!
Gene: Dont embarrass yourself beau...
Explaination Segment:
Austin: Well look here, That son of a bitch Devin was just using me! He just wanted the rattlesnakes help to win that match! He couldnt have done shit without stone cold!
Beau: Thats not true!
Austin: So stone cold betrayed that son of a bitch. I cost him what everyone in this whole damn business wants and now he doesnt have a chance in hell to get it! *Crowd Booes* Now now calm down stone cold aint finished. Devin I know your probably pissed off and want a match with Stone Cold. Well.... It just aint gonna happen, And thats the bottom line cause, Stone Cold, SAID SO!
*Devins new theme "Firefly - Breaking Benjamin" Plays*
Gene: Where is he?
*Suddenly a beer truck drives out*
Austin: I aint falling for this one... Stone Cold aint that dumb.
*Devin isnt in the drivers seat however. It instead is just a security guard driving*
Beau: That isnt Devin driving...
Austin: Hmm someone must be playing a trick on stone cold. Devin isnt here tonight.
*Devins theme plays again, As a giant beer can lowers from the roof into the ring*
Beau: What the hell!
Austin: Ok whoever is trying to play some games with stone colds head better stop before Stone cold opens a can of whoop ass!
*Devins theme plays again, As beer starts to fall from the sky*
Beau: ITS RAINING BEER!
Gene: I got some on my tongue!
Austin: Ok whoever the hell is doing this get your ass in the ring for a ass whoopin!
*Suddenly the giant beer can opens and devin jumps out, He kicks austin in the guy and gives Austin a stunner*
Beau: OH MY GOD ITS DEVIN!
*Devin grabs the mic*
Devin: Austin me and you 1 on 1 on the premiere of DampTowel!
*Devins theme plays as hes having a beer bash, austin rolls out of the ring and is writhing in pain*
Gene: This is terrible! Austin doesnt deserve this!
Beau: We will be back after a commerical break!
(Commercial break)
Beau: Were back!
Gene: I cant believe what happened to Austin! This is absolute rubbish.
Beau: Now now Gene calm down, Austin will have his chance to get some revenge when DampTowel starts.
Gene: I guess so...
Backstage Segment:
Krystal: Hi, Im here with Undertaker.
*Camera pans off krystal to show taker standing next to her*
Taker: Look Krystal I dont really have time to deal with this crap. I want Tajiri and I want him in a casket match!
*Tajiri appears behind taker and superkicks him in the back of the head, Taker falls straight down*
Krystal: AHHHHH!
*Tajiri grabs krystals mic*
Tajiri: Undertaker I accept your challenge... I WILL GET MY REVENGE!
*Tajiri storms off as the camera pans to taker knocked out and fades away*
Beau: Woah! Tajiri wants revenge! But for what?
Gene: Who cares he doesnt need a reason, HES TAJIRI BITCH!
Beau: Haha well up next we will have the OWN tag titles match!
Gene: THis match is gonna be a big one!
*"Just like a prayer - madonna" plays as Godberg and Kennedy and lowered from the roof, They are hanging on crucifixes*
Lillian: Making there way to the ring, FAITH ATTACK!
*They unstrap themselves from the crucifixes and kennedy grabs a mic*
Kennedy: Ok ok... *crowd booes* Shutup pieces of crap im talking! *Crowd booes louder* WE ARE FAAAAAAAAAIIIIITTTTTHHHH AAAAAATTTTAAAAAACCKK!!.........Kennedy.....
*Kennedy passes the mic to godberg*
Godberg: RAAAAAAWWWR!!!! I AM GODBERG! *Crowd pops at godberg* All you fans.. Your nothing but sinners. You sin everyday and leave people like Godberg and Kennedy to make sure God doesnt lose hope in the human race! You all suck! *Crowd booes* SHUTUP! I AM GODBERG! WE ARE FAITH ATTACK! YOUR SAVIOURS! *Godberg starts singing* Woooooooooahh Living on a prayerr, take my hand, we'll make it I swear, WOooooahhh!*Godberg tosses down the mic and him and kennedy start looking up*
Beau: These guys sure love god...
Gene: Whats wrong with a little faith?
Beau: I didnt say there was anythign wrong with it, well we will find out who Big Shows partner is right now!
Gene: Its probably someone crap like Shannon Moore hahaha!
*"WEEEEEELLLLL" Big shows theme plays as he makes his way to the ring slowly*
Lillian: making his way to the ring, THE BIG SHOW!
*Big show grabs a mic*
Big Show: Lets cut to the chase ok. Togethor me and my partner are nothing but BIG SEXIES!
*Wolfpac theme plays as Nash makes his way to the ring*
Gene: WOAH ITS NASH! HIS PARTNER IS NASH!
Beau: Interesting.
(To be continued...)
Sydney, Australia
*Fireworks go off as LampShades new theme "Somewhere I belong - Linkin Park" plays*
Beau Allen: Welcome OWN fans across the world! Tonight LampShade heads DOWN UNDER!
Gene Snitsky: Thats right folks tonights LampShade will be taking place in Sydney Australia!
Beau Allen: Yes and you seem to have healed from your injurys Gene.
Gene Snitsky: Oh yeah dont remind me.
Beau Allen: Well none the less we have a huge night lined up for you. Stone cold will answer the question everyones asking, "Why austin?"
Gene Snitsky: Dont forget this is Devins last week on LampShade before he will be shipped over to the new brand of OWN. That show is DampTowel!
Beau Allen: Also I heard that coming up right now is a special announcement regarding the future of OWN from none other than new GM Gregory Helms!
*Helms theme plays as he makes his way to the ring, He is wearing an expensive looking suit*
Lillian: Making his way to the ring, The General Manager of LampShade, GREGORY HELMS!
Beau Allen: What could this announcement be?
Gene Snitsky: Who knows?
*Helms grabs a mic off Lillian*
Helms: Ok ok... cut the music. I have spoken with Shane Mcmahon, who I might add is on a swift road to recovery. I suggested some changes that I think should be made to OWN and guess what? He likes my ideas and has put them foward.
Beau Allen: Ideas?
Helms: From this point on, In OWN there is no rules at all!
Beau: WHAT!?!?
Helms: THe will no longer be matches ruined by DQs. The letters D and Q dont exist here anymore! *Crowd goes wild*
Gene: This aint ECW!
Beau: Wait a second. So let me get this straight in all the matches there is going to be no rules?
Gene: Seems that way.
Beau: Hell yeah!
Helms: Ok, but that isnt all. See all those shiny belts? They all will be defended at all times. 24/7 rules! But wait that doesnt mean anyone can go for any title. You have to be in contention atleast... So on OWN.com contention brackets will be shown each week so you can know who can go for what belt!
Beau: OH MY GOD!
Helms: Ok some people would be wondering why I did this. Well put simply, I noticed a sense of hardcore in OWN. Look at the PPV for example. Only one match didnt have no rules! Ok enough of this. Im going to kick off the show the right way. Bring it down!
*A black bag lowers from the ceiling*
Beau: Whats that?
Gene: A black bag dumb ass!
Helms: Since the Extreme Title was the midcard title for LampShade and seeing as there isnt any point having and extreme title when there is no rules, Also since its been moved to DampTowel I have created a new Midcard belt for LampShade! *Crowd goes wild again*
Gene: Wow?
*Helms removes the bag*
Helms: I present to you all the OWN DreamWaker Title. *Crowd pops* This belt comes with a stipulation. THat stipulation being that when a person wins the belt they become no. 1 contender for the World Title! If they win the world title, The DreamWaker belt is surrendered and a new DreamWaker champ is determined.
Beau: WOW!
Gene: *Snore*
Helms: So how about we get right underway and determine a DreamWaker champion? *Crowd pops again* Ok lets give the randomizer another good old spin!
*THe randomizer appears on the titantron*
Beau: Uh oh! I can see mine and your faces Gene!
Gene: Oh hell no!
Helms: The randomizer will pick 2 people who will face off for the dreamwaker belt. The winner of that match will be able to challenge for the World Title any time between now and the next PPV. Start the randomizer!
*The randomizer starts, The crowd pops as the randomizer zooms past wrestlers faces*
Gene: Please not me!
Beau: Whos it gonna be?
*The randomizer slows down... CHRISTIAN CAGE!*
Helms: Ok weve got one of the competitors! Cage get out here right now!
*Christian Cages theme plays as he makes his way to the ring with a cocky look on his face*
Beau: ITS CHRISTIAN CAGE!
Gene: Who will his opponent be?
Beau: We will have to wait and see...
*Cage snatches helms mic*
Cage: Heh it doesnt matter who it is. I will take them out and win the DreamWaker belt then ill go staright on and win that World Title off Brown!
*Helms grabs the mic back off him*
Helms: Never take the mic of me you son of a b**ch!
*Cage is pissed off and jumping around the ring in anger*
Helms: Start the randomizer!
*The randomizer starts again*
Gene: PLEASE NOT ME!
*The randomizer stops... LUKE LIGHTNING!
Beau: OH MY GOD! We all know the history between these to!
Gene: Thank god it wasnt me!
*Lightnings theme "Survive - Rise Against" plays as he runs to the ring*
*Helms hops out of the ring with the dreamwaker belt*
Beau: This is gonna be an awesome match!
Gene: Remember there isnt any rules in OWN anymore!
Beau: Thats right who knows what youll see.
*They both stare eachother down*
Match 1: OWN DreamWaker Title Match
Luke Lightning vs Christian Cage
They both exchange dirty looks. Cage then suddenly takes a swing at Luke. Luke blocks and starts delivering hard rights and lefts to Cages face. He then hits a massive clothesline sending Cage to the mat. Luke bounces off the ropes then hits a standing shooting star press on Cage. The cover 1.....2... KICK OUT! Luke lifts up Cage and irish whips him into the turnbuckle. Luke charges at him and hits a stinger splash. Cage falls to the mat. Luke climbs the turnbuckle and waits for Cage to get to his feet. Cage slowly makes it to his feet. Luke shouts "Hows this look?". He then does a huge dragonrana into a pin. 1.........2.....KICK OUT! Just at the last second. Luke seems to be enjoying what hes doing to Cage. Luke lifts up Cage and throws him over the top rope. Cage lands hard on his back. Luke runs and bounces off the rope he charges at the other rope and hits a somersault plancha to the outside on Cage.
Beau Allen: Luke is showing a spectacular array of moves so far.
Luke lifts up the ring apron and looks under the ring. He pulls out a table and sets it up. He looks under again and pulls out another table. He sets it up on top of it. He grabs Cage and lifts him up but Cage quickly thumbs him in the eyes and hit a low blow. Luke is down. Cage grabs Lukes head and slams it into the ring post and slides Luke into the ring. Cage slides in after him.
Cage climbs the turnbuckle and waits for Luke to get to his feet. Luke slowly makes his way to his feet and Cage hits a flying clothesline! Cage gets up and taunts. He slides out of the ring grabs a chair from ringside. Luke suddenly hits a springboard missile dropkick to the outside on Cage. The cahir cage was holding comes crashing into his face. Luke grabs a headset off Snitsky.
Luke: How about we finish this?
He rips off the headset and tosses it down. He grabs Cage and rolls him in the ring. Luke slides in after him. Luke lifts up Cage and kicks him in the gut, Luke runs and bounces off the rope. Cage goes for a clothesline Luke ducks under and grabs him in a rock bottom position and then front flips landing like a side effect.
Gene: WHAT WAS THAT MOVE?!?! A FLIPPING ROCK BOTTOM OR SOMETHING??
Beau: He calls the move the "ThunderStruck"! He told me today.
Luke grabs Cage and irish whips him into the turnbuckle. He puts Cage on the top turnbuckle. He climbs up and hits a ThunderStruck through the 2 tables that they set up earlier outside. Luke gets the cover...1.......2......3 GOT HIM!
Winner: Luke Lightning
Lillian: Heres your winner and the new, DreamWaker Champion! LUKE LIGHTNING!
Beau: Lightning is the first DreamWaker champion! He can now challenge for the World Title any time between now and the next PPV.
*Luke grabs a mic*
Luke: Wow yet another easy win for *Crowd says it with him*, The high flying, death defying, often lying, make your mothers start crying, never gonna be dying, TRUELY ELECTRIFYING! LUKE LIGHTNING! But NO NO NO! That isnt all.. Luke Lightning is the DreamWaker champion! Luke Lightning is soon to be World Champion! Luke Lightning will get to the top of the mountain!.... He just wants to know who hes gotta knock off to get there..
*Monty Browns theme plays and he comes out wearing a suit*
Luke: Oh so your the guy huh? I got one question.. Why the hell are you such a punkass son of a bitch?
*Brown grabs Lukes mic*
Brown: You know youve got a real attitude problem boy... Noone talks to the ALLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPHHHHHAAA MMAAALLLLEEEE like that!
*Luke grabs the mic back*
Luke: Looks like I just did. *Brown gets an even angrier look on his face* Maybe you should just give up now and take your punkass back on down to that jungle of yours for some good old beastiality lovin'.
Beau: WOAH!
Gene: Thats just gross.
*Brown is extremely pissed off, He snatches the mic back*
Brown: Ok bitch me and you tonight for my title! *Crowd goes wild!*
Beau: WOAH!!!!
*Luke starts nodding in agreement*
Brown: Acctually..... Ive got another idea. me and you can have a contract signing first...
*Luke grabs the mic*
Luke: If I wasnt a fair man id knock your ass out right now and pin you 123! But we will play it your way King of the animal sex.
*Brown is extremely pissed off about the remark*
*Luke hops out of the ring as his theme plays and he exits to backstage*
Beau: Luke is gonna get us pulled off the air!
Gene: That was innappropriate. I hope Brown flattens him tonight!
Beau: Well we will go to a commercial break and coming up soon will be Austin answering the question everyone wants answered. Why?
(Commercial Break)
Beau: Were back!
Gene: Will the rattlesnake reply?
Beau: We will find out soon!
Backstage Segment:
Krystal: Billy you did the impossible at Alpha Omega, You did what noone thought you could do! You defeated London and his ninjas in the steel cage ambulance match!
Kidman: What does that turn you on or something krystal?
Krystal: Well umm yeah..
*Krystal leans forward to kiss kidman, but kidman backs away*
Kidman: Woah, I wasnt asking for a smooch krystal!
*Krystals face goes red*
Krystal: Sorry.. But what do you have to say about winning the skyhigh title?
Kidman: I have to say that noone will be taking this title from me!
*Suddenly Matt hardy appears and hits Kidman with a lowblow from behind, a ref is present. The cover 1.....2......3 GOT HIM! A NEW CHAMPION!*
Beau: Matt hardy is the skyhigh champion!?!?!
*Jeff hardy appears and kicks matt in the gut and twist of fates him. The cover 1.......2.......3, A NEW CHAMP!*
Gene: Now Jeff is champ!
*Jeff turns around right into a Kidman buster, the cover 1.......2......3 Kidman gains the title back!*
Beau: Kidman got it back!
Kidman: Told you Krystal I wont be losing this title...
*Kidman walks off*
Beau: Wow Kidman just showed that no matter what he wont give up that skyhigh belt!
Gene: Yeah these new 24/7 rules are going to be interesting.
Backstage Segment
*Kennedy and GoldBerg are in there locker room getting ready*
Kennedy: Bill tonight me and you have god on our side in our match for the tag titles against Big Show and a mystery partner, Now that walls of samoa our out for a month thanks to what I did back with my old team... Everything is good... But lets look to the future Bill... Faith Attack... Ken Kennedy and Bill Goldberg...
Goldberg: No im not goldberg any more... Im GODberg!
Kennedy: Hehe ok Godberg! You almost ready? Our match is soon.
Godberg: There isnt a reason to be ready when you have faith!
*They both slowly stare up to the heavens as the screen fades away*
Beau: So goldberg is now Godberg? Thats new ha!
Gene: Well up next is Austins explaination!
*Glass breaks, Austins theme plays as he makes his way to the ring on a four wheeler, He quickly gets a mic*
Austin: If you want an explaination for stone cold gimme a hell yeah!
Crowd: HELL YEAH!
Beau: Hell yeah!
Gene: Dont embarrass yourself beau...
Explaination Segment:
Austin: Well look here, That son of a bitch Devin was just using me! He just wanted the rattlesnakes help to win that match! He couldnt have done shit without stone cold!
Beau: Thats not true!
Austin: So stone cold betrayed that son of a bitch. I cost him what everyone in this whole damn business wants and now he doesnt have a chance in hell to get it! *Crowd Booes* Now now calm down stone cold aint finished. Devin I know your probably pissed off and want a match with Stone Cold. Well.... It just aint gonna happen, And thats the bottom line cause, Stone Cold, SAID SO!
*Devins new theme "Firefly - Breaking Benjamin" Plays*
Gene: Where is he?
*Suddenly a beer truck drives out*
Austin: I aint falling for this one... Stone Cold aint that dumb.
*Devin isnt in the drivers seat however. It instead is just a security guard driving*
Beau: That isnt Devin driving...
Austin: Hmm someone must be playing a trick on stone cold. Devin isnt here tonight.
*Devins theme plays again, As a giant beer can lowers from the roof into the ring*
Beau: What the hell!
Austin: Ok whoever is trying to play some games with stone colds head better stop before Stone cold opens a can of whoop ass!
*Devins theme plays again, As beer starts to fall from the sky*
Beau: ITS RAINING BEER!
Gene: I got some on my tongue!
Austin: Ok whoever the hell is doing this get your ass in the ring for a ass whoopin!
*Suddenly the giant beer can opens and devin jumps out, He kicks austin in the guy and gives Austin a stunner*
Beau: OH MY GOD ITS DEVIN!
*Devin grabs the mic*
Devin: Austin me and you 1 on 1 on the premiere of DampTowel!
*Devins theme plays as hes having a beer bash, austin rolls out of the ring and is writhing in pain*
Gene: This is terrible! Austin doesnt deserve this!
Beau: We will be back after a commerical break!
(Commercial break)
Beau: Were back!
Gene: I cant believe what happened to Austin! This is absolute rubbish.
Beau: Now now Gene calm down, Austin will have his chance to get some revenge when DampTowel starts.
Gene: I guess so...
Backstage Segment:
Krystal: Hi, Im here with Undertaker.
*Camera pans off krystal to show taker standing next to her*
Taker: Look Krystal I dont really have time to deal with this crap. I want Tajiri and I want him in a casket match!
*Tajiri appears behind taker and superkicks him in the back of the head, Taker falls straight down*
Krystal: AHHHHH!
*Tajiri grabs krystals mic*
Tajiri: Undertaker I accept your challenge... I WILL GET MY REVENGE!
*Tajiri storms off as the camera pans to taker knocked out and fades away*
Beau: Woah! Tajiri wants revenge! But for what?
Gene: Who cares he doesnt need a reason, HES TAJIRI BITCH!
Beau: Haha well up next we will have the OWN tag titles match!
Gene: THis match is gonna be a big one!
*"Just like a prayer - madonna" plays as Godberg and Kennedy and lowered from the roof, They are hanging on crucifixes*
Lillian: Making there way to the ring, FAITH ATTACK!
*They unstrap themselves from the crucifixes and kennedy grabs a mic*
Kennedy: Ok ok... *crowd booes* Shutup pieces of crap im talking! *Crowd booes louder* WE ARE FAAAAAAAAAIIIIITTTTTHHHH AAAAAATTTTAAAAAACCKK!!.........Kennedy.....
*Kennedy passes the mic to godberg*
Godberg: RAAAAAAWWWR!!!! I AM GODBERG! *Crowd pops at godberg* All you fans.. Your nothing but sinners. You sin everyday and leave people like Godberg and Kennedy to make sure God doesnt lose hope in the human race! You all suck! *Crowd booes* SHUTUP! I AM GODBERG! WE ARE FAITH ATTACK! YOUR SAVIOURS! *Godberg starts singing* Woooooooooahh Living on a prayerr, take my hand, we'll make it I swear, WOooooahhh!*Godberg tosses down the mic and him and kennedy start looking up*
Beau: These guys sure love god...
Gene: Whats wrong with a little faith?
Beau: I didnt say there was anythign wrong with it, well we will find out who Big Shows partner is right now!
Gene: Its probably someone crap like Shannon Moore hahaha!
*"WEEEEEELLLLL" Big shows theme plays as he makes his way to the ring slowly*
Lillian: making his way to the ring, THE BIG SHOW!
*Big show grabs a mic*
Big Show: Lets cut to the chase ok. Togethor me and my partner are nothing but BIG SEXIES!
*Wolfpac theme plays as Nash makes his way to the ring*
Gene: WOAH ITS NASH! HIS PARTNER IS NASH!
Beau: Interesting.
(To be continued...)
Should be in Brisbane or Melbourne though, can't stand Sydney lol.