[YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIVe-rZBcm4[/YOUTUBE]
[INT: Vox's dream. Vox sits in a chair with nothing but blackness behind him. In A Gadda Da Vida by Iron Butterfly plays.)
Vox: Yay! I fell asleep. Time for some weird crap I'm going to hate with absolutely no benefit to me whatsoever! God forbid I fall into a coma. Ok Voice, let us get this nonsense over wi...
(A bare chested old man rubs his left breast against Vox's face.)
Vox: Yep, deeffffinetely not in Kansas anymore.
(The bare chested man shows himself to be Gary Busey)
Gary Busey: Do you like this, young man?
Vox: Obviously not. Not only will I never forget it, but it also is ruining Lethal Weapon for me.
Gary Busey: Hey man, at least I kept my pants on!
Vox: I know...that's part of what is ruining it for me.
Gary Busey: Perv. Now, to end this all you have to do is lick my nipple.
Vox: Well, that's an odd series of words.
Gary: Son, you've got a feller by the name of WarZone next week. Sometimes you have to do something you don't want to in order to succeed. Is that coming through clear?
Vox: Shockingly yes. I'm still not licking your tit, though.
Gary: Oh, yes you are. We can do this all night, In A Gadda Da Vida is a long song.
Vox: Ok...but keep dancing til the drum solo. That's my favorite part.
Gary: Okie dokie, artichokey!
(We get to the end of the drum solo, and Vox licks Gary Busey's nipple.)
Gary: Very good, Vox. You're learning what you need to become victorious.
Vox: How was licking your hairy, salty, but delightfully vanilla scented nipple helpful in anyway?
Gary: Well, you see... *Gary Busey vanishes.*
Voice: ...You see, you went through something difficult and you came out better for it.
Vox: Oh crud, it's you. Can I get Gary back? I had a couple Point Break questions I wanted to ask him.
Voice: No.
Vox: Oh, is it because he'd have no idea because he's a figment of my imagination?
Voice: No, it's because he charges by the hour.
Vox: That makes sense as to why he wasn't "Buddy Holly" Gary Busey. Wait, how do you hire someone to be in a dream?
Voice: He was in Gingerdead Man.
Vox: Oh, that's fair.
Voice: Now, this week you take on WarZone.
Vox: What are his strengths?
Voice: Strength.
Vox: Right, what are they?
Voice: Strength. He likes punching things. Hard.
Vox: Let's not mention the word "hard" after the Gary Busey Experience.
Voice: Why?
Vox: Because. Anyway, weaknesses?
Voice: He's temperamental and stupid.
Vox: YES! Advantage - me! I'm not temperamental hardly at all!
Voice: Yes. Jury is still out on you being stupid, though.
Vox: Wait, is he like, Kevin Klein in A Fish Called Wanda stupid or is he Sling Blade stupid?
Voice: If I had to pick, I’d argue the latter.
Vox: YES! I’ve never put mustard on a biscuit. I’ve got this in the bag.
Voice: He’s A LOT stronger than you. Physically.
Vox: Yeah, but I’m at least kind of smarter than him and I won’t let my emotions get the best of me.
Voice: Right…
Vox: it all goes back to the stupid Horse and Dove dream you gave me.
Voice: It wasn’t stupid…
Gary Busey: Shut up, he’s onto something!
Voice: We’re not paying you for another hour.
Gary Busey: This is pro bono…or Pro Vox, I guess!
Voice: Ugh, you can stay, but…shut up.
Gary Busey: Anyone ever tell you that you sound like Patricia Clarkson?
Voice: What? No, I don’t.
Vox: You totally do now!
Voice Now Sounding like Patricia Clarkson (look her up, nerds): Ugh, it doesn’t matter.
Gary Busey: Please continue, Vox.
Vox: Thank you, oddly attractive and hilariously insightful Gary Busey. As I was saying before I was oh-so-amazingly interrupted, The Horse and the Dove taught me that patience is the key. Everyone makes mistakes in matches. The trick is to be patient enough to be able to capitalize on them. I failed to do this against Constantine, and I lost. He WAS patient, especially in our second match, and he succeeded. I need to stay calm, and let victory come TO me, as opposed to chasing it futilely.
Voice Now Sounding like Patricia Clarkson: Wow…that’s actually… really good.
Vox: SWEET! Hey, can I charity pander before my match this time?
Voice Now Sounding like Patricia Clarkson: No.
Vox: Please?
Voice Now Sounding like Patricia Clarkson: Absolutely not. Out of the question.
Vox: I’ll make you a deal. If I do this and I win, I get to keep doing it. If I do this and I lose to Blaster without Master, I’ll stop for a month.
Voice Now Sounding like Patricia Clarkson: You’ll stop until you earn it back. You’ll also have to endure a punishment so strict, you’ll regret ever wanting to help anyone else.
Vox: Ok…but then I should get something else when I win.
Voice Now Sounding like Patricia Clarkson: Name it.
Vox: Read my mind, you already know what it is.
Voice Now Sounding like Patricia Clarkson: Oh, dear God…fine! Deal!
Vox: Oohhhhhhh yeahhh! Hey guys and gals, tune into my dreams next week to see if I pull this one out! What are my dreams and desires? What could my punishment be if I lost to a meathead? What is a wrap-up if it doesn’t end with three questions?! Find this out and more on the next episode of WZCW MELTDOWN!!!
[INT: Vox’s bedroom. Vox is fully dressed.]
Vox: Well, this is a convenient way to get around having me shower and get ready. That would be boring to read.
*Vox, goes to leave his bedroom. *
[EXT: Vox’s driveway.]
*Vox enters his car. He puts on the Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani [YOUTUBE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psrjbmOv4RA[/YOUTUBE]*
[INT: Vox’s car]
Vox: CuzI’veBeenActingLikeSourMilkFellOnTheFloorIt’sYourFaultYouDidn’tShutTheRefrigeratorMaybeThat’sTheReasonI’veBeenActin’SoCooooooold.
*Vox looks out the window and sees Gary Busey on the street*
*Gary Busey holds his left nipple and winks at Vox*
*Vox sucks in a gulp, looks down at his lap with shame, and then looks back up and smiles*
Vox: Heh! Mustard on a biscuit. That’s so stupid.
