Today shouldn't have been a memorable day.
The days leading up to something important are normally dismissible. Most people spend those days procrastinating, doing whatever they can to pass the time so the desired event comes quicker. Others like to prepare themselves, and make sure everything runs smoothly so if anything goes wrong, they've a back-up plan or two. When the day everybody has been waiting for arrives, everybody instantly forgets the days leading up and lives in the moment, looking to create a memory. They didn't wait this long for something to turn into a disappointment. Nobody enjoys a disappointment; nobody remembers a disappointment.
Well, today was one of those days for
Eve Taylor. One of them waiting days. Although, instead of sitting in her hotel room or working out, or even shopping, to pass the time, she was appearing at a Superstar Signing. Nothing out of the ordinary for Eve Taylor. She had been advertised for many of these fan interactions events, and every time, Eve has really enjoyed her time talking with everyone who watches WZCW. The stories she heard, the admiration she received, and being told she was an inspiration: these days were some of the best relaxing days for Eve. It was hard for her to pick her favourite of these days, or to remember a particular story from a fan, because she enjoyed them all equally. Whenever Eve felt horrible about herself, she knew she could take solace in other people enjoying their lives. Even in her worst moods, and the worst times of her career, there were people out there who still cared enough to come up to Eve, give her a smile, and lift her spirits.
Eve never got this treatment as a model, so it was refreshing to see everyone come up to her with a story. In fact, it was rather odd for a fan to express their gratitude to a supermodel like Eve was; almost frowned upon by the business, unless you were an aspiring model asking for pointers (or sizing up your future competition). Any fan who got so close were automatically labelled creepy, and Eve never really got the chance to know anybody except business partners, and work colleagues. But here, in WZCW, she got the chance to interact with everyone. Eve knew she was contractually obligated to appear at these events, and these places were pre-organised with rules and regulations that fans had to abide by, or they'd be removed; however, the people still cared enough to see past all that, and meet their favourite star. Granted, Eve never had the biggest lines, or the most fans, but those who came up to her always had a great story to tell, a beautiful smile on their face, and always thanked her for the time taken to talk to them.
Yet, today felt a little different than the rest. Yes, Eve saw roughly around the same amount of people she usually meets. Yes, they all were respectful in their approach. And yes, the amount of people she saw willing to see her made her feel better than she started off in the day... but something was really off. Eve was hard pressed to figure it out, and it was gnawing at her mind all day. She couldn't shake the feeling... the feeling she was being watched. Not watched by anyone in particular, but the many that were there. Well, she was watched because she was the attraction, so of course people would be staring at her... but something different.
"Hey friend!" Eve exclaimed to the next person in line. "How are you? Thank you for coming out."
The fan looked at her and gave her a quick smile.
"I'm doing well. And you?"
Eve put on her best smile.
"I can't complain. Semi-finals in the Gold Rush tournament, and all. Not a bad achievement."
She laughed whilst the fan let out another quick smile.
"Yeah, not bad, I guess."
Eve looked at the fan, and couldn't really decipher if he was nervous or socially-awkward. She decided to tone it down a bit.
"Anything you want me to sign today?"
The fan gave her a poster; it was from the only time Eve Taylor was on the marquee for an event. The Gold Rush poster with all three members of Cerberus. All he needed was the final signature, and it was hers.
"Oh hey, nice work in getting all these signatures. This should be worth something some day."
No response from the fan as she signed it. She handed it back.
"Thank you."
The fan walked off before Eve could shake their hand. Eve didn't know how to take his sudden exit, but she decided to let it go rather quickly.
"No worries."
Eve attempted to think nothing of it, but as the day grew longer, and the line dwindled down, she observed similar behaviours from a lot of the fans. Many people who came up to her today were very professional in their approach, and spoke in mostly pleasantries. Not many of the fans looked to upon up and share any personal information with Eve. Most of the fans wanted to see Eve to take a picture, or to get a signature. Even when she tried to amp up the fans by getting them to cheer (since she thought it had been a long day waiting for them), they weren't as enthusiastic as they normally were. At first, she thought it might have been the particular city she was in. Maybe it was because people needed to get their preparations for Independence Day celebrations ready... but again, she looked into the eyes of the fans. That weird feeling she got from earlier came again... like she was being watched intently.
It felt like Eve was being silently judged by everybody. They were all looking at Eve in a way that would penetrate through someone's skin, and peer into their very soul. Everyone there was looking at Eve to see if she had one. Everyone there was looking to see if there was something behind the eyes of Eve. It was like as if everyone was trying to see if there was anything left inside of her, because their belief inside of themselves for Eve was beginning to fade away. That's what it felt like. Was there passion behind the eyes of Eve to continue in the Gold Rush tournament? Was there something deep down inside of Eve that would never give up, even when the odds were against her? Did she even have what it takes to win this entire thing? That's what it felt like. The people were beginning to doubt there was even a future for Eve.
After Eve had finished with her signings, and she thanked everyone left for attending, as well as the crew for helping her out for the day, nobody was as gleeful as her. Everybody went about their own business, leaving Eve Taylor with nothing to do but sit there at the table. She looked across the table to the posters leftover from the day, and she grabbed it.
A memory of Eve Taylor at her best, when she was the champion. When she was the person to beat. The period of her life when she turned many fans to her side, and began supporting her. This is when the fan turn-outs felt great. Everybody believed in her. People want to interact. The fans were happy to be there. These days... the people didn't look at her the same way. Their hopes and beliefs in Eve Taylor as the next great wrestler were waning. It wasn't as strong as it was last year, or even the year before that. People were beginning to turn away from Eve, and they were looking for others to place their love. Eve Taylor was no longer the hottest act in the professional wrestling circuit; she was becoming an established veteran who has a storied history. Everything about Eve Taylor was about the past, and it wasn't about the future any more. She felt everyone saw her as a wrestler who had peaked, or as a wrestler who attempted to be bigger than she was... and it was beginning to feel like Eve Taylor was the only person who believed in herself.
"How can people know the future?" Eve asked herself quietly, staring at the poster. "How can they look at me today, and instantly envision failures for me?"
Eve knew she hadn't exactly lived up the words she had said in the past. When she finally lost the Elite Openweight championship, she told the world she would win the Lethal Lottery and go onto the main event Kingdom Come. Eve Taylor didn't make the Top Four. She then said she would work hard to prove herself as a new contender for the title, and all she needed was a one-on-one match. She took the pinfall against an unstoppable Flex Mussel. What did people believe when Eve Taylor said she was going to win the Gold Rush tournament, and win the World title? That was the look in their eyes: doubt and disbelief in the words that Eve Taylor said about her future.
She looked at the poster again. "It is impossible to judge the future of a person, and expect everything from them, based on their past results." Eve said to nobody.
She looked up and around, and indeed, there was no-one to listen to her talk. Yet, she kept talking... maybe it was because she needed to talk to herself, and convince herself, to psyche herself up and keep her in the fight.
"The past is known as the past because everything that has previously occurred as passed us by. It is history now. No way we can change it. No way to influence it. Only learn from the mistakes... so, when they see Eve Taylor in history, they don't see many mistakes. The only mistakes they see - or they only mistakes they remember - are the ones involving my pursuit for the World championship. Therefore, Eve Taylor is incapable of getting close to the World title, so why support a failed cause? Is that what they believe? I haven't been able to achieve what I say, so why should they show their support for me, if I fail to represent them? Why support my future when I've proven to them that I am unable to have a future with the World championship?"
Eve caressed the title on the poster; her old friend Senshuken, the Elite Openweight title.
"Nobody believed I could be a credible champion when I lost the Eurasian title as quickly as I won it. Not my stablemates. Not the fans. Not even management. I had to earn my way to winning the Elite Openweight title. I fought every day one step at a time, proving my worth until I earned that opportunity. When I won the title, everybody saw me as another paper champion... but I proved to everybody that I was the best, and I became the longest reigning Elite Openweight champion in the last decade; the entire time this federation has existed. I already showed everyone I can do it once. I can do it again. Just because they are losing interest, doesn't mean you'll lose them forever."
Taylor looked more intently at the poster, and attempted to envision herself as the World champion, holding that title instead of the Elite... but before she could create that image, she put the poster face-down on the table, not wanting to look at it.
"No! I can't see into the future. I must not look towards the future. Every time I looked into the future, and proclaimed to be the best, I was promptly met with a smack in the face, and another failure in my record books. It happened when I thought I was Queen Bee as the Eurasian champion, and it happened with the Lethal Lottery. I have to take it day-by-day, and I have to stick with the present, like when I was the Elite Openweight champion and focused on the number one contender. I didn't dream of being the greatest champion; I fought in the present. That's what I must focus on: the here and now. No more looking toward the future. No more dreaming of what I could be. No more envisioning myself as the first-ever female World champion. I haven't earned that right to proclaim myself as such. For all I know, Yemrez could pull the biggest upset in recent memory, and win it all. Anything can happen, and nobody knows the future. Nobody knows. Not even Lynx."
She shook her head, and smiled to herself.
"How can Lynx even thrive on the looking towards the future? How has he managed to be almost undefeated in WZCW whilst betting all his stock on the future occurring in a vision he expects everything to follow? How can someone like myself fail under the pressures of setting a future goal, a person who has been for three years and going into my fourth; yet, Lynx has a few matches and he's proven himself a successful commodity? How does he have the confidence to say what will happen, and the convert? It's uncanny. It's unreal. I don't believe it. I don't believe anything he says. He can't know the future. He can't know my future."
Eve stood up out of her chair.
"I will not allow someone like Lynx take advantage of the future everybody seems to assume I will follow. The future belongs to the actions I make in the present. They do not blindly pursue a known prophecy that is unavoidable no matter how much I fight... and if, by chance, it does, I will fight against the prophecy that my future does not deserve a World championship opportunity it. I must not give up in the present because the unwritten future believes I do not succeed. I must not believe in the words of someone like Lynx to psyche me out, and I must prove to everyone that I still have what it takes to give everything my all. I showed everyone that I can hang with the very best such as Matt Tastic, and beat him. Despite my loss, I gave everything I had against Flex Mussel, and it took Flexicution after Flexicution to put me down. Nobody has ever had to endure the amount of punishment I took to remove me from the championship opportunity. I am still here. I am still standing here, ready to go. I am still in the Gold Rush tournament. I am in the semi-finals, damnit! I have survived past most others who were thought to be in this position. I am still willing to go. How can anyone discount me from a future when I, here in the present, am standing tall. I have my fists up. My mind is ready. My body will endure the challenge."
Eve goes around the table, and looks up to the sky. She shouts towards it.
"You hear me?! I'm still here, Lynx! I am not going anywhere, Father Time. You can't control me. You can't tell me what to do. I am in control of my own future, and I will do everything I have to do in this present time to make sure of that! No one man, nor does any one entity, wield that much power over anybody. There is nobody up here pulling on the strings. I am the one who pulls my own strings. I am the one who dictates what I will do. And I am the one who will show you that in our semi-finals match Lynx. Screw the past. Screw the future. You are here. With me. In the present. And I am not going anywhere. Our match in the semi-finals will not result in your vision. It will result in Eve Taylor finally taking control of her own life! I get to decide what will happen. Not you. Not time. Not anyone.
"You are not the person who gets to take that away from me. You will not take this away from me!"
...
...
...
... minutes pass before Eve looks away from the sky, and observes her surroundings. Nobody was listening to her. Despite her yelling at the sky, nobody took notice. Nobody was watching her... and that's just the way she wanted it. She wasn't giving a speech to every one of her fans. She was giving a speech to herself. It was a speech that helped her build confidence in herself, and feel empowered to embrace herself, and not the perceptions others had for her. She needed to feel empowered to take her own life in her hands, and create the life she wanted... not a world which Lynx predicted. It was her life, not his. He had no idea what her world is, and what her world will be.
Today wasn't supposed to be a memorable day, but for Eve Taylor, it will be a day she will remember, for it was the day she took control of her future.
