MD 24: Murfish vs Drake Callahan (EurAsian Title Tournament, Mayhem Championship)

[Harthan]

The second round of the EurAsian Championship Tournament continues on MD 24!

Also, by the order of Vance Bateman, ALL singles matches the Mayhem Champion competes in must be for the title, hence, this match will be contested under hardcore rules and see the Mayhem title up for grabs.

Deadline is Monday, June 15, 11:59 PM EST.

 

[Harthan]

The scene - outside Drake's locker room, Becky stands, microphone at the ready, prepared for another foray into Drake's twisted world.

Becky: (whispering to herself) Please just be drunk, please, just be drunk...

She takes a deep sigh.

Becky: I really don't want to deal with another one of his crazy episodes.

She knocks tentatively on the door, and waits. Nothing happens, so she knocks again. Receiving no reply, she puts her ear to the door.

Becky: There's something going on in there...I wonder what?

She opens the door slowly and peeks her head in the doorway.

Suddenly, a beer bottle flies toward her. She ducks and it passes right over her, shattering against the wall.

Becky: Drake?! What the hell!

She storms into the room and finds Drake rummaging through an enormous pile of beer bottles, throwing them wantonly around the room, where they shatter all over the place.

Drake: (muttering) I know I put it somewhere around here...

Becky dodges another flying beer bottle, and angrily grabs Drake and turns him around.

Becky: Drake! What the hell are you doing?

Drake barely acknowledges her, looking wildly around the room.

Drake: I know it's in here...

Becky: What's in here?

Drake looks around for a moment, blinks, then focuses on Becky. He breaks into a grin.

Drake: Becky! When did you get here?

Becky: Just walked in, Drake...

Drake: Well, great! You can help me look!

Without further explanation, Drake leaps away and tears into another massive pile of empty bottles and cans.

Becky, frustrated, goes over to him and looks over his shoulder.

Becky: What exactly are we looking for, Drake?

Drake briefly looks up at here, and then goes back to digging, throwing bottles and cans all over the place.

Drake: My belt! I seem to have...misplaced it.

Becky rubs her forehead.

Becky: You just misplaced a WZCW title belt? Those aren't exactly cheap, you know...

Drake: Well, help me look for it, then?

Becky sighs.

Becky: That's all I do in this damn room, sigh...fine, where did you last have it?

Drake stands up and scratches his forehead.

Drake: Becky...I can barely remember where I was five minutes ago, let alone where I put the belt. I know it's in this room somewhere...

He goes back to digging. Becky tentatively picks up a few bottles, but she's clearly not excited by the prospect of digging through the whole room. She takes a look around the room.

Becky: Drake, have you ever considered...cleaning this place?

Drake: Not really, no.

Becky takes a walk around the room, looking for the belt. She stops at Drake's table, and picks up a coin. She stares at Drake with a little fear in her eyes.

Becky: Hey...Drake?

Drake jumps up excitedly.

Drake: Did you find it?

Becky: No...but, I was wondering if you could tell me more about this coin?

Drake grabs the coin and takes a long hard look at it. A few tense moments pass.

Drake: This coin...it comes from a dark place. An evil place, Becky. It comes from the very lair of the beast...

Becky stares at him in rapt attention.

Drake: Yes...it comes from...

He pauses.

Drake: Chuck E. Cheese!

Becky's jaw drops open.

Becky: You have got to be kidding me...

Drake shakes his head vigorously.

Drake: Let me tell you, Becky. I went there once, and it was terrible! The pizza is overpriced, the games are horrible, and...and...they have these robot slaves that dance and sing...

Drake shivers.

Drake: Oh, God, it was terrible.

Becky is rubbing her forehead.

Becky: Drake...I just...I really don't know about you.

Drake shrugs and is off to dig through another pile.

Becky half-heartedly pokes at a few bottles, then looks back at Drake.

Becky: Drake, really...what the hell is going on with you?

Drake: I told you Becky, I lost my belt...

Becky: No, I mean...half the time, you're like this, just stupid and drunk, and the other half you're...something else.

Drake looks at Becky confusedly.

Drake: Well, Becky...I think...

He scratches his chin.

Drake: I think I need another beer.

Becky sighs again as Drake opens a locker and pulls two cold ones out. He tosses one to her which she, of course, catches and sets on the nearby table. Drake downs it in moments and then cracks open another. Becky clears off a bench cluttered with rubbish and sits down.

Becky: You going to answer me?

Drake: Answer you about what now?

He's back to rummaging through a pile of trash.

Becky: I didn't think so.

Drake stands up and appraises the room.

Drake: Maybe...maybe I put it in a locker.

Becky: There's like, 30 lockers in here. Which does beg the question as to why you actually need that many lockers...

Drake: Uh, I have a lot of beer, Becky.

Becky, yet again, sighs.

Becky: Look, there's a match on at Meltdown.

Drake: (distracted by rummaging through his lockers) Is there?

Becky: You're wrestling Murfish.

Drake stops. He reaches out of the locker, then stares at Becky.

Drake: I'm wrestling a fish?

Becky: No! Murfish. He's a person.

Drake: Are you sure?

Becky: Yes, I'm sure! He's returned recently to take part in this tournament...you are aware of the tournament, yet?

Drake scoffs.

Drake: Of course, Becky...it's for the vacant Australasian Championship, of course...

Becky opens her mouth, but decides better of it.

Becky: Exactly, Drake...anyway, this is the second round, and you've got Murfish this week. Of course, it's also for the Mayhem title...if you can find it.

Drake: It's definitely in this room...somewhere.

He's back to rummaging through a locker.

Becky: Any thoughts on Murfish?

Drake: He's...a fish-man? So, he's probably slippery. Maybe he has scales...

Drake is still clearly distracted.

Becky: He does not have scales, Drake.

Drake: Have you looked everywhere?

Becky pauses.

Becky: Uh...not...everywhere...

Drake: Well, then you don't really know. Wait...aha!

Becky goes over to Drake, who's tugging something out of a locker.

Drake: I've got it! Damn thing's...stuck...

He's straining with effort as he pulls the belt out.

Becky: Want some help?

Drake: No...got it...almost...

Suddenly, the belt flies out, along with a ton of trash. Drake is flung back and he lies on his back, Mayhem title in his hands, covered with trash.

Becky's doing her best to stifle a laugh.

Becky: Well...congratulations, Drake. Glad you found it.

Drake: Urgh...

Becky: You alright?

Drake: Need...more...beer...

Becky shakes her head, smiling. She goes into a locker and cracks one open, then hands it to Drake. He downs it, then brushes himself off and stands up.

Drake: See? Told you it was in here.

Becky smiles at him.

Becky: Yeah, it was. You ready for Murfish this week?

Drake: I'll bring my fishing rod...

Becky smiles again. She takes a look around the room.

Becky: You've really got to clean this place up, Drake.

Drake: Maybe next week...you could help me?

Becky looks at him sideways.

Becky: You promise to...be yourself, next week?

Drake looks puzzled.

Drake: I'm myself every week, Becky.

Becky bites her lip.

Becky: Alright, Drake...I'll be here.

Drake grins, then grabs two beers. He hands one to her.

Drake: A toast? To...cleaning?

Becky: Have you ever needed a reason to toast?

Drake: Not particularly, but why not?

She laughs, and they toast. Becky takes a sip, and Drake, predictably, downs the whole thing.

Becky: Next week then?

Drake nods. He raises the empty bottle to her.

Drake: Next week!

Becky smiles, turns around, and leaves the locker room as the scene fades to black.

 

[Murfish]

A 65 Buick Wildcat sits alone in the arena parking lot. Leon Kensworth approaches the car and waves the cameraman forward. The camera zooms in on the window of the car and we can see Murfish sleeping in his beat up vehicle. Leon taps on the window, and Murfish remains in his stupor. When Kensworth begins to knock with more force, Murfish springs awake. Before he can regain his senses, Murfish begins to honk the horn and mouth wild obscenities. As soon as he takes in his surroundings, Murfish quiets down and slowly rolls down the window.

Murfish: Yes?

Leon: Murfish, I’ve been looking for you since the last Meltdown ended. Where’ve you been?

Murfish: Well…you see the fact of the matter is…uh…I really don’t want to talk about it.

Leon: Hey, man. I’m trying to help you out here. Given your absence, I thought that you might like to know who your next opponent is.

Murfish: I don’t know, Leon. I don’t know if I can handle that right now.

Leon: You do realize that Meltdown is tomorrow, right? What the heck could possibly be more important than the EurAsian tournament right now?

Murfish: I told you that I’m not ready. Do you understand? Get out.

Leon: Out of what? I’m outside of your car.

Murfish inspects the cabin of his car, looks back outside, turns back to Leon, and quickly rolls up his window.

Murfish: And stay out, you spineless sycophant.

Murfish puts his key into the ignition of the car and tries to start it. Shortly there after, the car dies, and Murfish breaks down into tears. Once again Leon raps on the window.

Leon: Murfish, what’s wrong? Come on. Look at me. There you go, big guy. Now what exactly is going on?

Murfish: You don’t understand. As an educated white male with a stable job, I’m sure you can’t understand my financial woes. You, I’m sure, have been given everything you ever wanted. You’ve never had to aspire for more. Well I have. I’ve tried to live the American dream. Who knew that after five solid years of buying and distributing psychedelic drugs, the market would turn belly up?

Leon: Hey, you’re white, male, and educated as well. More importantly, why have you been dealing drugs when we all know that wrestling is a great career?

Murfish: Do you wrestle much, Leon? It’s not the best career in the world.

Leon: What about your initiative to cleanse WZCW?

Murfish: Who do you think I am? Gandhi? Superman? I need to worry about my own interests. Was last week a ploy to get fans? Maybe. But maybe we’re all upside down and we don’t know it yet. Maybe blue really looks red. See? Does one little fib about my intentions really matter when a multitude of questions still need to be answered before you even get to me? Tell me, Leon, why the sky is blue. When you come up with the answer to that one we can talk.

Leon: Well the sky is blue because of Rayleigh Scattering. I could go into further detail, but I feel like most of my points will be lost on you. Can we talk about you now?

Murfish: I…guess we could.

Leon: I would very much like that. Now I have some questions and news for you. Are you ready?

Murfish: Go for it.

Leon: For the sake of staying on topic I’m going to ignore the fact that you appear to have been completely insincere last week. Now, your opponent is Drake Callahan. How do you feel about that?

Murfish: Well, I guess I feel the same as I do when I go into every match, but it’s surprising how much the roster has changed since my departure. Yeah, I guess it’s exciting. Woot, woot and whatnot. It should be a good match. I just hope to god that he doesn’t go after the easy fish jokes. I’m getting tired of that. It’s a portmanteau: get over it.

Leon: Well there’s more that you should know. Not only did he already call you a ‘fish man’, but the match will also be held for his Mayhem Championship.

Murfish: Seriously? I…no…I’m not even going to respond to that. As far as the championship goes, this is a great opportunity to get some gold from this company. Ever since my matches with the Grand Mystique and the King of the Mountain match I feel like there’s been a force working against me.

Leon: Ok, next topi…

Murfish: Wait a second. What are the rules in a Mayhem Championship match?

Leon: There are…um…none. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that there are none at all.

Murfish: Perfect, I have an idea. Hold on a second.

Murfish bursts out of his car and walks around to the back. He unlocks the trunk and opens it.

Murfish: Come here, pal. Check this out.

Leon and the camera man come and the contents of Murfish’s trunk come into view.

Leon: Is half of this legal.

Murfish: No, not nearly, but as you said, there are no rules.

Laying about the trunk is a baseball bat, to golfing irons, a case of stolen syringes and hypodermic needles, and carton of unmarked vials, each filled with liquid of various, bright colors.

Murfish: Let’s just say that I got stuck with some product after my buyers dropped off, and the rest is from my enforcement days. Come Meltdown, I’m going to bring the fun.

Screen fades to black.