Manti Te'o Jokes

[Con T.]

Time to put your best Manti Te'o jokes into here;

Did you hear about Manti Te'o's relationship?

It's so fucked up, even Taylor Swift won't write a song about it.

Manti Te'o's relationship; at long last, we can finally say, "not a better love story than Twilight".

Did you know Manti Te'o is recruiting a speech consultant for tomorrow?

It's Haley Joel Osment; Te'o really needs to practice saying, "I see dead people"

 

[shattered dreams]

It is better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. - some other girl's tombstone.

 

[Con T.]

After retiring from the his post as owner of WWE, Vince McMahon has died, and is on the bullet train to Hell. He's prepared to see all of the names and faces who he's screwed at some point in his life, people of his past that will come to torture him. As Mr. McMahon is greeted by the devil himself, he looks around, and sees a face long forgotten from his past.

That face is Chris Benoit.

Chris screams out, "Vince, you have to get me out of here! Tell 'em I got concussions and steroids from you!"

"No, Chris," Vince says, quivering. "You're responsible for your own actions."

"Vince," Chris exclaims, "You gotta get me in the hall of fame! I worked all my life to be recognized as one of the best!"

"No, Chris," Vince says, again quivering. "We can't have a murderer on television."

"Vince, you have to recognize my career in wrestling. At least recognize when I won the World Title at Wrestlemania!"

"Now, god damn it, we can't do that, Chris! We've already told people it was someone else in that match!"

"Who?"

"Manti Te'o's girlfriend"

 

[Richard Blonoff]

Manti Te'o is Mormon. That is the biggest joke of all.

 

[The Butcher]

A man walks into a brothel run by Manti Te'o. Manti shows him to a room, and asks him what kind of girl he wants. "Hawaiian," the man replies. Manti tells the man to get comfortable, then closes the door and leaves. An hour later the man storms out of the room furious. "Where's my ****e!?" he screams at Te'o, to which Manti replies, "Me Samoan, me play prank, me made up Hawaiian skank."

 

[klunderbunker]

After retiring from the his post as owner of WWE, Vince McMahon has died, and is on the bullet train to Hell. He's prepared to see all of the names and faces who he's screwed at some point in his life, people of his past that will come to torture him. As Mr. McMahon is greeted by the devil himself, he looks around, and sees a face long forgotten from his past.

That face is Chris Benoit.

Chris screams out, "Vince, you have to get me out of here! Tell 'em I got concussions and steroids from you!"

"No, Chris," Vince says, quivering. "You're responsible for your own actions."

"Vince," Chris exclaims, "You gotta get me in the hall of fame! I worked all my life to be recognized as one of the best!"

"No, Chris," Vince says, again quivering. "We can't have a murderer on television."

"Vince, you have to recognize my career in wrestling. At least recognize when I won the World Title at Wrestlemania!"

"Now, god damn it, we can't do that, Chris! We've already told people it was someone else in that match!"

"Who?"

"Manti Te'o's girlfriend"

...stick with haikus. Please.

 

[The Butcher]

What's the difference between Rae Carruth and Manti Te'o?

Rae Carruth knows where his girlfriend is.

 

[Nate DaMac]

Manti Te’o’s girlfriend is why college football needs a playoff system.

 

[The Butcher]

I tell ya, folks, that Manti Te'o is so damn Mormon!

How Mormon is he?

Manti Te'o is so Mormon, he has 5 imaginary wives.

 

[shattered dreams]

He feigned his dogs death on MySpace to get his middle school sweetheart to put out.

 

[Kermit]

​

 

[Moon Knight]

Time to put your best Manti Te'o jokes into here;

Did you hear about Manti Te'o's relationship?

It's so fucked up, even Taylor Swift won't write a song about it.

Manti Te'o's relationship; at long last, we can finally say, "not a better love story than Twilight".

Did you know Manti Te'o is recruiting a speech consultant for tomorrow?

It's Haley Joel Osment; Te'o really needs to practice saying, "I see dead people"

After retiring from the his post as owner of WWE, Vince McMahon has died, and is on the bullet train to Hell. He's prepared to see all of the names and faces who he's screwed at some point in his life, people of his past that will come to torture him. As Mr. McMahon is greeted by the devil himself, he looks around, and sees a face long forgotten from his past.

That face is Chris Benoit.

Chris screams out, "Vince, you have to get me out of here! Tell 'em I got concussions and steroids from you!"

"No, Chris," Vince says, quivering. "You're responsible for your own actions."

"Vince," Chris exclaims, "You gotta get me in the hall of fame! I worked all my life to be recognized as one of the best!"

"No, Chris," Vince says, again quivering. "We can't have a murderer on television."

"Vince, you have to recognize my career in wrestling. At least recognize when I won the World Title at Wrestlemania!"

"Now, god damn it, we can't do that, Chris! We've already told people it was someone else in that match!"

"Who?"

"Manti Te'o's girlfriend"

Well, we can cross stand up comedian off your list of career options.

 

[GI Cake]

Guys stop these jokes, Te'o is the victim of a sick joke.

Said by nobody ever

 

[6timehitta]

Manti Te'o wasn't missing tackles in the National Championship, he was hugging his girlfriend.

If you having girl problems I feel bad for you son, Manti Te'o has 99 problems but a girl ain't one.

These Te'o jokes are all very funny, but let's all try and remember that a person who never existed is dead, Have some Respect!

In response to the Te'o fake girlfriend story, Johnny Manziel said, "Only 5% of my girlfriend is fake. I win again."

 

[Megatron]

Te'o's missed tackles during the BCS national championship were actually him hugging his girlfriend.

Damn you 6timehitta just beat me.

 

[Shocky]

 

[Richard Blonoff]

http://www.sportspickle.com/opinion...manti-teo-borrow-some-of-his-real-girlfriends

 

[The Butcher]

 

[GI Cake]

So Manti recently got a new girlfriend, I skimmed the article but it looks like the girls name is Siri.

 

[Rayne]

Quick, someone make sure Javon Belcher's girlfriend is dead and was an actual person.

 

[D-Man]

Manti's girlfriend walks into a bar.

Wait... no she didn't.

 

[Richard Blonoff]

When you go to a school that teaches you about a woman who got pregnant without having sex, this type of thing is bound to happen.