Sunday 8th of November 2009
It has been 24 hours since Blade fell short of the task in the biggest match of his career. 24 hours of pain, of hurt, of frustration and more so than that, 24 hours of doubt in his abilities. However, I too learned something in that match. That Blades desire to beat me at my own game at Lethal Lottery will be unsurpassed. His want for a victory over the entity that has haunted his stay in WZCW is huge and I know for a fact that he will be on top form when the cheers of the crowd meet his ears as he stands behind the curtain that separates him from the arena. It happened at All Or Nothing too. Blade was spurred on by the fans that have followed him through thick and thin and I know better than most how loyal they can be. For the longest time, Blade and I could not be separated. During the weaker time of my stay here, I took on a young rookie, who could have made the spotlight his own. He had everything that he needed to go on and achieve everything that he desired. I saw it in him. I saw it the very first time I looked him in the eye and I knew at that point that he was going to go far. Now though, the fire that once burned in his eyes has been extinguished and I know why. Its because of me. You see, I over the last few weeks, I have gotten inside the head of my opponent. I have toyed with him and his abilities have suffered. I have done what I do best and broken another spirit.
At Ascension, everything I needed to know about Blade was confirmed to me. Everything that was once good about this man is gone and the darkness that has enveloped my soul since I met him has washed over him too. I see it now, I see the hate and the hurt and the agony building inside him. I looked him in the eye at Ascension and I saw it. I saw the pain that I had caused him and I knew that Lethal Lottery is going to be the biggest test of my career. You see, when I decided to turn on someone who is as mentally strong as Blade, I miscalculated the effect that I would have on him. Sure, he has not been on the best of streaks but I know for a fact that when Lethal Lottery eventually rolls around that I will be dealing with an animal that I have never seen before. I will be dealing with someone who is unstable. Someone who will do anything to get what he wants and more so than that, someone who will have no idea about how mentally damaged he truly is.
Some would say that I have created a monster and I that I have no idea how hungry Blade will be going into the match. I would have agree with that point but I have something that Blade does not and that will be the key to exposing his mental fragility and taking my place in the Lethal Lottery match. That factor is experience. By that, I dont mean how long I have been in WZCW or how many men I have gone through to reach this moment in my career. This moment that will make or break the future of my WZCW tenure. No! My experience is much different from many around here and when trying to evaluate where I am going to go in the future, I must go back and look at where I have been. Over the last few weeks, I have talked at length in my journal entries about how important history is and how the journey is signposted for you. All of these factors are connected by a tie that is as strong as lead and as unbreakable as a bond between two men who once respected each other in the way that myself and Blade do. You see, whether Blade likes it or not, we are bound by many ties. When people look at our histories, they will the other man laden throughout.
Whether I like it or not, I recognise that what lies in front of me is the biggest test of my life. A man who has everything to gain and nothing to lose is a dangerous man and I expect no mercy from my opponent when our destiny meets for the final time at Lethal Lottery. However, there is an experience in my past that will outline for me where I am going. You see, I know what I can do. I know what I am capable of and I know that Blade is aware of it. He will be ready and I have to make sure that I will be. That is why I am writing this entry as I sit in the waiting area of Glasgow Airport, waiting for a connecting flight to Tibet to do something that must be done. I must see him!