klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Lethal Lottery 2014
Date: August 9, 2014
Location: El Choliseo, San Juan, Puerto Rico
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Cat Connors, Sebastian Copeland, Jack Cohen
The things I'll do to get cover art for my books. I agreed to review this show so that some pesky guy would stop shouting Taco Bell catchphrases in my face. This is the company's Royal Rumble and as usual they're stealing ideas from better companies, with the World Title going to the winner of the battle royal. Let's get to it.
No opening video. Even Southern States Wrestling from eastern Tennessee have opening videos.
Tag Team Titles: Cerberus vs. Young Justice
This is a falls count anywhere street fight (back in my day we just called it hardcore) with Young Justice (Jonathan Hyada/Ramparte) defending against.....well according to the announcer they're defending against Flex Mussell and Ramparte. So Ramparte is Cody Rhodes and Hyada is Hardcore Holly? Apparently Hyada's partner is named Haven, which really doesn't sound like Ramparte. You would think someone would be watching o'er the Rampartes wouldn't you?
Flex seems to be a workout fanatic and hands out healthy food to the audience. That's nice of him but why didn't I get some broccoli? Now I have to be hungry during this mess. Between that and not knowing the names of your wrestlers, I have a feeling this could be a long night. It's a brawl to start and apparently this is under Kerry Von Erich rules. That at least makes up for my lack of food as I can't stand it when a street fight has tagging.
Flex and Hyada (there's a Flex Kavana joke in there somewhere) fight up the ramp with the Mussel dude taking a belly to belly on the steel. Ramparte comes out for a save and whips out a belt for some whips to Hyada's back. That goes nowhere as Hyada pops up and fires off some right hands as Haven has taken Mussel back inside for a tornado DDT. Hyada whips Ramparte with the belt as Haven nails Mussel with a Tag Team Title belt. So now there are three belts?
Back to the fight on the ramp with Ramparte having no sold Hyada's belt shots (at least they're keeping it even) and nailing him in the leg with a chair. Flex grabs a side suplex on Haven as this really needs to be a split screen. The guys switch off and Ramparte nails Haven in the back with the title belt. Flex swings Hyada around (kind of out of place in a street fight) but misses a knee drop, only to have Ramparte take Hyada's head off with another belt shot.
Cue some good looking chick named Lexi (sidenote: the intro said she and Eve would be at ringside as seconds but she's running out?) to be in the champs' corner. Ramparte blasts Haven in the head with a chair as Mussel whips Hyada with the title belt. A chair shot to the back puts Hyada down again but the champs let him get up. Hyada fires off some strikes for two on Mussel as another chick named Eve comes out to even things out. Haven springboards in to take out the challengers and things speed up again.
Hyada goes up top but Mussel drops him with a quick low blow. A superplex gets two with Lexi diving in to make a save (the announcers reference this later. The word is dividends, not dividens). The girls get into a catfight as Flex and Ramparte (the match calls them the champions. These errors are starting to get confusing) stand over Hyada for a bit, allowing Haven to dropkick them into each other. Flex pops back up for a backbreaker on Haven as Ramparte knocks a chair out of Hyada's hands. Ramparte picks up the chair but Hyada pops up for a Van Daminator. Not bad.
Back up and Haven nails a high cross body to drop Flex. Ramparte low bridges Haven to the floor and Cerberus loads up the Wolves throw up into a kick, only to have Haven slide back in (dang that was fast) to break it up. Hyada punches Mussel on the way down and gets a delayed cover. Ramparte rolls up Haven at the same time, allowing Eve to knock Hyada off Mussel, leaving Ramparte to pin Haven for the titles.
Rating: D. I really didn't like this one. First and foremost, there was almost no reason for this to be a street fight. There were a few belt and chair shots but other than that it was just a regular tag with some interference. The falls count anywhere didn't come to mean anything as I don't remember a single cover outside.
You could have made this a mixed tag so the girls could have actually served a purpose. Speaking of the girls, where did Lexi go? I know she got hit with an ax handle, but a single ax handle keeps her down for the second half of a match? That brings me to another thing: the speed of the match.
That sequence with Hyada Superman Punching Mussel on the way down sounds good on paper, but there's almost no way that could have happened. Unless Mussel threw him roughly 200 feet in the air, it's almost impossible for Hyada to dive in and take out Ramparte for Hyada to change direction in midair like that. The description made it sound like the events happened consecutively and I couldn't picture that working in my head.
The match felt like it only lasted about eight minutes which doesn't justify a hardcore match. I know these guys had a history (another sidenote: those bullet points before the match helped. I had no idea who these teams were and it gave a brief yet sufficient backstory to them. They've been feuding for a long time is all you need for something like this.) but it didn't feel like they hated each other enough for a hardcore match. It just didn't work for me.
Here are Ricky Runn and Becky Serra (didn't she used to interview bunnies?) with something to say. On a PPV? Anyway, Runn didn't get a rematch for his World Title so he's not competiting in the title match tonight. Mikey Stormrage pops up on screen and wants to know why these two still have jobs. Uh Mikey, have you looked at Serra lately? There's something about a bunch of drunk texts from Ricky about various sexual things with Serra. Again, how does Mikey not get her employment? The boss, Mr. Banks, comes out and fires Runn so security can take him off. That's rather abrupt no?
Elite X Title: Constantine vs. Theron Daggershield
Constantine is champion and has defended the title three times already. I'm not sure what that means but maybe if he wins we all get tacos? We start quick with Constantine kicking him in the ribs and throwing Theron out to the floor. Well that didn't take long at least. Back in and Constantine stomps away, sending Theron cowering into the ropes. That's our hero? They get back up and the champ slaps on a headlock to throw the smaller guy around even more.
Constantine takes him into the corner and hammers away until the referee pulls him off. Theron finally gets his head together and scores with some dropkicks to put Constantine down for a few seconds. An atomic drop does it again and a fourth dropkick gets two. Constantine fights up from his knees and scores with a quick suplex. A running clothesline gets two as Theron is still in major trouble.
Theron fights back but walks into a big old backbreaker for two. This has been almost completely one sided so far. Ten straight headbutts bust Theron open to make this even worse. A quick small package gets two for Daggershield (what a name) and Constantine looks livid.
Back up and Theron fires off some kicks to the leg, only to Irish whip the champ into the referee. Constantine rolls outside and grabs the belt but Theron tries to take it away. The bigger man shoves him away but walks into an RKO onto the belt. There's no referee though, so Dagger tries to wake him up like a moron. The distraction lets Constantine nail a spinning spinebuster to retain the title.
Rating: D+. Still not a good match but I liked this a lot better. It was just a squash match and knew exactly how to go about having just that kind of a match. I would have liked Theron to have a bit more offense but this could have been a lot worse. I'm guessing Constantine is running out of opponents though as Theron came off like a total jobber here.
Zeus and Fallout are in the back rhyming when El Califa Dragon and Ty Burna (why are these two together? They're nothing alike) jump them from behind with various metal objects. They pull out barbed wire paraphernalia and I don't think I'm old enough to watch this. A barbed wire crown is placed on Zeus' head and blood is spilled. Ty and Dragon stand tall, looking like a war just ended. I'm not sure what set this up but I'm kind of interested in going back and finding out.
Showtime David Cougar and the Steven Holmes are in the back when Mr. Banks interrupts them to say that Holmes is banned from ringside for the next match.
We recap Cougar vs. Tastic. It seems Tastic has been feuding with the Elite for months and Cougar attacked Tastic's grandfather recently on Meltdown.
Eurasian Title: Matt Tastic vs. David Cougar
Cougar is challenging and Tastic is the hometown boy. For someone who hates Cougar, Tastic is calm enough to lock up with Showtime to get things going. Showtime gets in a shot to the ribs to take over and fires off some chops in the corner. More right hands and a DDT drop Matt but the arrogant Cougar walks around in circles. We get a Gavin Stomp of all things before he loads up a spear. Tastic jumps like a Puerto Rican jumping bean though and Cougar goes shoulder first into the post.
Matt grabs a pumphandle slam and a spinwheel kick gets two. The fans are getting into it a bit now but Tastic talks some unnecessary trash, allowing Cougar to rake his eyes. We head outside with Tastic in trouble and Showtime loading up the announcers' table. Matt is sent face first into the apron and a spear sends him into the barricade. Showtime grabs a bunch of weapons from under the ring with the big prize being a ladder. I don't see this ending well.
The referee actually tries to do his job for a bit by trying to get the guys back inside. Showtime doesn't seem to mind as he clotheslines Tastic onto the announcers' table and gets an evil look on his face. He climbs the ladder but thankfully Tastic isn't down enough to be in trouble. Matt climbs up and hammers away before hiptossing Cougar over the ladder and down through the table for a huge crash.
The referee again tries to earn some pay by checking on both guys. They're laid out in a heap though as the ref moves some of the stuff off their bodies. It's Tastic up first though, which makes sense given that Cougar fell much further. He scores with a right hand and takes Cougar back inside for a quick Headache Driver (over the shoulder tombstone) to knock David even sillier, but Showtime gets his foot on the ropes.
Tastic spends way too much time walking around confused by the foot on the rope, allowing David to grab a Texas Cloverleaf out of nowhere. Dang he was up fast after those big spots. Tastic crawls over to the ropes but is in big trouble.....until someone shoves the rope closer to him. The someone is revealed to be his grandfather, who apparently is still awesome enough to get through security and help his son cheat.
Cougar lets go of the hold as the old man bails. Showtime goes after him and grabs Grandpa by the shirt, only to have Matt get up and dive onto Cougar for a big crash. Back in and another Headache Driver plants Cougar but Steven Holmes starts talking over the loudspeaker. Matt looks up to see Holmes holding his grandfather by the throat, allowing Cougar to put the Cloverleaf on again. Holmes tells Matt to give up so his grandfather can be released, but Matt passes out to give Cougar the title.
Rating: C. This match showed a continuing problem in WZCW: matches don't last that long. It felt like you were going for a big match feel here and while you achieved that, this match felt like it would have lasted about nine minutes. Even though there was a lot of text due to emotions and walking around (those are good things, especially when you have someone as arrogant as Showtime), there wasn't a lot of action.
It's a brawl to start, then they head outside, then the ladder, then the Headache Driver, then the first Cloverleaf, then the dad, then the second Headache Driver, then the dad, then the second Cloverleaf to finish it. That's really not much action, especially in the second biggest match on the card. I liked what I saw, but this match needed a longer heat segment on the champion.
Post match Mr. Banks comes out and doesn't look pleased. He grabs a mic and says that the Elite has gone against his warning, so the repercussions are coming. Showtime may have won the title here, but he's going to be vacating it on Meltdown.
Kingdom Come ad.
Action Saxton is in the back and apparently wants to beat up Ricky Martin. When told that Martin only sings a theme song for the show, Saxton resigns himself to eating popcorn. Nothing wrong with a comedy cameo.
We get a nice Lethal Lottery By The Numbers video (love ya Harthan), basically saying the winner is a big deal.
Quick recap of the match: the Beard won the title from Burna and then walked out, so it's on the line again here in the battle royal. Burna agreed to go first after a dare from Califa Dragon. Standard Royal Rumble rules with thirty entrants and ninety second intervals with over the top eliminations.
WZCW World Title: Lethal Lottery
Ty Burna is #1 and Derek Jacobs is #2. Burna hammers away to start and suplexes Jacobs down before nailing an enziguri. A top rope leg lariat plants Derek before Ty just hammers away with right hands. Jacobs gets back up for a powerslam as Mikey Stormrage is in at #3. He goes right after his former Strike Force partner and hammers away with right hands. A quick Game Over plants Jacobs but Mikey turns around to see Ty waiting on him.
They trade big shots to the head but Mikey ducks most of them and claps Ty around the ears. Jacobs clotheslines both guys down though as Haven is in at #4. Jacobs hammers on Haven but it's finishers a go-go from the big names to throw Jacobs out. Haven is cool with sitting in the corner as Ty clotheslines Mikey down. A backbreaker plants Stormrage so Haven tries to sneak in, only to be backdropped to the apron. Haven slides back in as Steven Holmes is in at #5.
Holmes throws Haven down with a suplex before going after Ty with a knee to the head. He turns around into a Falcon Punch from Stormrage though and Holmes is already in trouble. Mikey punches everyone and is the only man on his feet so LIVE MAS! Haven tries to get up and eats a Game Over (at least someone other than Mikey got to eat something) before being tossed as well.
Mikey and Ty circles other for a bit as Holmes is smart enough to chill in the corner. Matt Tastic, Mikey's heterosexual life partner and fellow burrito fan, is in at #6. Mikey is very pleased but Holmes jumps Tastic before he gets in like any smart heel would. We have brawls inside and outside the ring with Matt putting the Puerto Rican flag over Holmes and whipping him into the barricade. That's rather rude to the flag isn't it Matt?
Everyone gets back in with Holmes going after Matt, only to walk into a hurricanrana. Mikey is down for a bit but goes right back after Ty until Lexi Hayes is in at #7. Hayes nailes Stormrage with a dropkick but winds up face to face with Burna. Holmes throws Matt at Ty for some reason, allowing Lexi to spear Steven down. Some chops have little effect on Mikey but a headbutt staggers him enough for a curb stomp to plant Stormrage again.
Tastic is back up so Lexi turns on the charm and throws Matt out to the apron. Frank Mortlock is in at #8 and goes right after Matt as Holmes gets double teamed. Matt gets back inside as Holmes is planted by a flapjack. Ty turns on Lexi with a DDT but Mikey is back up. He goes after Ty but gets nailed by an elbow from Mortlock. They double team the fat guy for a bit until Tastic breaks up a double suplex attempt to save his buddy.
Mikey suplexes both guys at once because he's fat and therefore strong. A Falcon Punch lays out Hayes and a second puts Holmes down. Matt hits a springboard flip dive as Constantine is in at #9. The ring is getting too full. Constantine pulls Holmes through the ropes and to the floor for a breather as Matt collapses from exhaustion. Everyone in the ring not named Mikey or Matt jumps Mikey for a triple team, only to have Ty turn on Mortlock and toss him out.
The Elite finally gets together and cleans house on everyone other than Tastic. That's quite the mistake though as Matt sneaks in behind them with a chair to lay both of them out. Eve Taylor comes in at #10, taking her time though as Matt is destroying the Elite with the chair. He finally stops to open the ropes for Taylor but collapses as soon as she gets in. I know she's good looking but come on dude.
The girls go at it for a bit with Taylor getting the better of it but not being able to throw Lexi out. Matt gets back to his feet but eats a kick to the face from Eve. Mikey side slams Taylor down but walks into a bicycle kick from Ty. Everyone but Matt (noticing a theme here?) get up for a big brawl as Mick Overlast is in at #11. He walks past Tastic on the floor (not eliminated) and goes up to dive on everyone else in the ring for a big crash.
Back up and Mick keeps cleaning house by knocking down almost everyone in sight. Matt gets back up as Eve and Mick go to the ropes, only to have Tastic low bridge both of them down to the floor for a double elimination. At the moment we've got Burna, Stormrage, Holmes, Tastic, Hayes and Constantine active. Everyone goes to a corner before the Elite turns their attention to Hayes.
Backstage Bob, as in the guy named Bob who works backstage, is in at #12. Lexi uses the distraction to dropkick Constantine into the ropes, sending Ty over to try to dump him out. Mikey and Matt go after Bob but the backstage dude bails to the floor. With Ty going after Holmes, Lexi is failing to get Constantine over the top. Matt and Mikey chase Bob to the floor but he stops them with.....cotton candy. I never could stand that stuff and again, WHY HAS NO ONE OFFERED ME A TASTY TREAT TONIGHT?
Anyway, Bob gets back inside and goes after Ty, distracting him long enough for Holmes to nail Lexi (lucky) and dump her out. Ramparte is in at #13 and goes after Mikey and Matt, drawing in the Elite for what could be a big time tag match somewhere else. Ty throws Bob out as you had to expect, leaving us with six in the ring. The teams go after each other as Ramparte actually gets the better of Ty, nailing him with an ax handle to the head and trying to put him out.
Ramparte's partner Flex Mussel is in at #14 and goes to help with Ty, only to have Tastic whip Holmes into all four guys. Mikey grabs a full nelson on Constantine, allowing Matt to.....twist his nipples. A dropkick and suplex combo make things a bit more serious and Constantine is in trouble. It gets even worse with Cerberus going after Constantine, only to have Matt and Mikey whip him into Holmes.
Aubrey Sloan is in at #15 to get us to halftime with a grouping of Ty, Stormrage, Tastic, Ramparte, Mussel, Holmes, Constantine and Sloan. Aubrey goes after all three teams to put everyone down but takes too long posing, allowing Constantine to throw her to the floor. Sloan skins the cat to get back in and kicks Constantine in the face ion the way back. Holmes puts Mikey in a chinlock of all things as Cerberus double teams Constantine.
ElegANT is in at #16 because everyone needs a little Chikara in their lives. Unfortunately he's given the Luke treatment and takes a backdrop from Stormrage to eliminate him almost immediately. Somehow it's already time for another entrant as Daddy Mack is in at #17. He takes his time getting to ringside, allowing Ty and Aubrey to clothesline Flex out to the floor. Tastic and Stormrage won't be one upped (though Mikey might like it) and dump Ramparte.
The Elite go after Mack until Burna pulls Holmes away to beat him like he stole something. Aubrey goes after Matt, leaving Mikey to fight Constantine. A big spinebuster plants Mikey for a nice power display as David Cougar is in at #18 to complete the Elite. Cougar and Mack go at it while the rest of the Elite goes after Mikey. Tastic makes a quick save though as Ty slams Aubrey and Blade is in at #19.
The Elite throws Mack out to the steps but he stays on his feet, only to have Blade pull him down to the floor for an elimination. Blade finally gets in and takes Sloan down with a reverse DDT. Now the Elite focuses on Ty, only to have some miscommunication send Constantine into Holmes, sending Steven out for an elimination. Hyada is in at #20, giving us a group of Burna, Stormrage, Tastic, Constantine, Sloan, Cougar, Blade and Hyada.
Hyada dives onto the rest of the Elite as Mikey and Tastic go under the ring for some Gatorade (anything but red). Sloan and Hyada go after the Elite but Blade gets away from Ty to go after Mikey and Matt. They're ready for him though with some Gatorade spit in the eye and after a game of Rock Paper Scissors, it's Mikey who gets two go after him. Hyada kicks Constantine in the head as Kagura Ohzora is in at #21.
Ohzora cleans house with martial arts (because she's from Japan see) as the Elite gets back up to take down Hyada and Sloan with clotheslines. El Califa Dragon is in at #22 and dropkicks Tastic down to come in. Stormrage Game Overs Constantine but gets kicked in the head by Ohzora. The karate kids clean house, leaving only Califa and Ohzora standing.
Of all people, Doug freaking Crashin is in at #23 and no one seems interested. That's as good as it gets for Doug though, as EVERYONE hits their finishers on him with Ty kicking Crashin out to the floor for a fast elimination. Cougar pops back in and throws Ohzora out to the floor as Constantine goes after Ty. Sloan hammers on Califa as Ty throws Constantine across the ring, right into Hyada to knock the filler out.
Ty goes after Showtime until Constantine comes over for a save, only to have Tastic load him up for a Headache Driver. Time for another entrant as the masked Diablos is in at #24, giving us Burna, Stormrage, Tastic, Constantine, Sloan, Cougar, Blade, Califa and Diablos. He goes right after Mikey, just like Califa does with Sloan. Ty hammers on Showtime (of course) while Diablos switches over to Blade. Burna elbows out of a Headache Driver attempt but eats the Screw Attack to put him down in the corner.
Stormrage and Diablos go after Blade in the corner and get him out but Blade's Men In Black come out to catch their leader in midair. Blade is thrown back in by his boys as the Elite throws out Diablos. Mister Alhazred is in at #25...but no one comes out. Instead Diablos rips off his mask to reveal Alhazred, who quickly dumps Blade for revenge. Blade is livid but leaves with the MIB.
Sloan has to run from Alhazred who goes into slasher villain mode after the pretty blonde. Aubrey comes back with a belly to belly but runs into Ty. Alhazred pulls out his Power Glove and nails her with a spinning backfist, allowing he and Ty to dump Sloan. Califa comes off the top rope with a cross body on Constantine. Mikey and Matt go after Showtime but Cougar plants Matt and nails a reverse DDT on Stormrage.
The Elite goes after Mikey as Califa goes after Ty to save Alhazred for some reason. Ty isn't pleased and tries another kick but gets caught in a bridging cobra clutch. Theron Daggershield is in at #26 as we're getting close to the end. He swings a sword (Berzerker!) at the Elite, allowing Tastic to get back up and go after Cougar. Theron plants Constantine as Alhazred hammers on Mikey in the corner. Showtime loads up Tastic for what looks like a C4 off the top (not called the C4 2000 kids) but has to kick Califa away.
Matt fires off some elbows but gets flipped over anyway for a big crash. Theron hurricanranas Califa to the apron but the dragon hangs on for dear life. M is in at #27 as the ring is WAY too full. He cleans house with various EVIL moves but stops to pose like a schnook. The first target is Ty but M is too low level of a guy to dump someone like Burna. Instead he chokes Ty on the apron, only to get lifted up for a near elimination. Burna comes back with a suplex and nails Constantine with yet another bicycle kick.
S.H.I.T. is in at #28 for I believe a big return. It's about time we have one of those. Alhazred panics and tries a handshake, only to be lifted up into a bearhug and thrown out a second later. Mikey and Matt take chops from the robot until it's S.H.I.T. vs. Ty. Burna offers a handshake but whips him into the ropes, only to eat a chop of his own. Ty is busted open as commentator Jack Cohen is in at #29. He actually nails some atomic drops until Califa dropkicks him out in maybe thirty seconds.
Things get back to normal now with Califa caught in a robot nerve hold and M taking Game Over. The far too close buddies throw M into Showtime and Cougar is knocked out to the floor in a big surprise. Showtime won't stand for this and grabs a chair to knock out everyone but Constantine. He leaves the chair with the Elite's last hope, allowing Constantine to nail S.H.I.T. in the head for an elimination. M takes a spinebuster and gets dumped as well to clear the ring out a bit.
The returning Chris K.O. is in at #30, giving us a final group of Burna, Stormrage, Tastic, Constantine, Califa, Daggershield and K.O. Chris slowly gets in and sits on the ropes, only to have Theron be whipped in the same rope for an elimination. We're down to six now with Burna and K.O. staring each other down. Califa's hurricanrana to Constantine is countered and he lands right between Ty and Chris. K.O. tries a flying knee to Ty but hits Califa instead, setting up a bicycle kick to eliminate the dragon.
Constantine grabs his chair but is surrouned by the other four. Chris and Tastic go after him with Mikey running Chris over, only to have Ty pull Matt off and clothesline him to the apron. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a flying knee to Constantine, just as Ty blasts him with the bicycle kick at the same time. A double clothesline is enough to put Constantine out and eliminate the Elite's last hope.
We're down to four now Mikey gets double teamed and sent to the apron next to his buddy. Ty nails yet another bicycle kick (dude, learn a new move already) but Mikey saves Matt from hitting the floor. Back in and Ty loads up another kick but Mikey drops down and low bridges him out to the floor. See, I told you he needed to learn a new move. We're down to three now as Ty looks stunned. Mikey looks down at him but gets kneed from behind by Chris for a quick elimination. Burna is pleased as he walks away.
We're down to Tastic and K.O. for the title. They both look at the belt before slugging it out, followed by Matt nailing a hard clothesline. Chris stops a charging Tastic with a raised boot and takes him up for a superplex. Matt knees him in the head to escape and snaps off a top rope hurricanrana to send Chris to the floor while hanging onto the ropes for the win.
Rating: B. I dug the heck out of this with Tastic hanging on the entire time to win the belt. I'm not wild on the ending though as it was clear Matt was winning as soon as Ty was eliminated. Have the Elite/Ty and Matt/Mikey as the final group and the ending is far better. The match has a great balance of drama with some limited comedy and it held together very well. I really liked the tag team stage earlier in the match as the key to keeping a long match like this together is to have the match in sections. I dug this a lot and it went a long way to save the show.
Mikey runs out to celebrate and is shocked to find out that Matt is really from Puerto Rico to end the show. Something tells me that still wouldn't be funny eve if I read all the promos.
Overall Rating: C+. The good thing about a show where the whole thing is build around one match is that match can save the show, which is what happened here. The first three matches really didn't do anything for me and had me dreading how long I had to go. There's more than enough good in the main event to carry things though and it made me forget about the rest of the card.
The first show I ever reviewed for you guys was All Or Nothing 2013 and this is a big step up from that. The characters are more interesting and far more developed and I have a better idea of the stories without needing to read about 18 other posts. The show was much easier to get into and the bullet points before the matches helped a lot. Couple that with the far better blocking out of text and this show was far easier to get through.
There are still problems though with the main ones already addressed. Above all else, the pacing of the matches (save for the main event) is still shaky. The matches feel like they're all twelve minutes at most, which is a problem when three matches should be taking up nearly an hour and a half. I get that it's hard to do that with a text match, but there are a few ways you could do that.
Something to keep in mind here: on what would be a nearly three hour show, I believe I saw two rest holds and they were both in the Royal Rumble style match. It's ok to slap on an armbar or a chinlock to pad your match out. Not everything has to be signature moves or spent almost entirely on moving the match forward.
One of the biggest weaknesses here is psychology as the matches seem more like they're designed to just do moves rather than build anything up. Other than Cougar being cocky because he knows he's better than everyone, almost everyone wrestled the exact same style. Work some body parts, have a guy come in angry and unfocused, slow things down and let a match build up a bit. There are ways to do this and unfortunately it comes off like a lot of the same thing every time.
That brings me to my last criticism: as I mentioned, the same moves are used WAY too many times. Ty probably used that kick about 10 times in a match which is far too often. Again, mix things up a bit. I know it's a signature move but have him throw a dropkick or a forearm or just a right hand instead of going for the big move all the time. It gets repetitive after awhile and I was rolling my eyes each time I saw it again.
Overall the show was entertaining and a good way to get to know most of the roster. The top of Kingdom Come should be fairly obvious at this point (especially since I've read the card) and it has the potential to be good, assuming things go as planned. I'm not entirely sold on the midcard yet but there's potential in there to pull off some decent stuff. And yes, I'll be doing Kingdom Come as well.
Date: August 9, 2014
Location: El Choliseo, San Juan, Puerto Rico
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Cat Connors, Sebastian Copeland, Jack Cohen
The things I'll do to get cover art for my books. I agreed to review this show so that some pesky guy would stop shouting Taco Bell catchphrases in my face. This is the company's Royal Rumble and as usual they're stealing ideas from better companies, with the World Title going to the winner of the battle royal. Let's get to it.
No opening video. Even Southern States Wrestling from eastern Tennessee have opening videos.
Tag Team Titles: Cerberus vs. Young Justice
This is a falls count anywhere street fight (back in my day we just called it hardcore) with Young Justice (Jonathan Hyada/Ramparte) defending against.....well according to the announcer they're defending against Flex Mussell and Ramparte. So Ramparte is Cody Rhodes and Hyada is Hardcore Holly? Apparently Hyada's partner is named Haven, which really doesn't sound like Ramparte. You would think someone would be watching o'er the Rampartes wouldn't you?
Flex seems to be a workout fanatic and hands out healthy food to the audience. That's nice of him but why didn't I get some broccoli? Now I have to be hungry during this mess. Between that and not knowing the names of your wrestlers, I have a feeling this could be a long night. It's a brawl to start and apparently this is under Kerry Von Erich rules. That at least makes up for my lack of food as I can't stand it when a street fight has tagging.
Flex and Hyada (there's a Flex Kavana joke in there somewhere) fight up the ramp with the Mussel dude taking a belly to belly on the steel. Ramparte comes out for a save and whips out a belt for some whips to Hyada's back. That goes nowhere as Hyada pops up and fires off some right hands as Haven has taken Mussel back inside for a tornado DDT. Hyada whips Ramparte with the belt as Haven nails Mussel with a Tag Team Title belt. So now there are three belts?
Back to the fight on the ramp with Ramparte having no sold Hyada's belt shots (at least they're keeping it even) and nailing him in the leg with a chair. Flex grabs a side suplex on Haven as this really needs to be a split screen. The guys switch off and Ramparte nails Haven in the back with the title belt. Flex swings Hyada around (kind of out of place in a street fight) but misses a knee drop, only to have Ramparte take Hyada's head off with another belt shot.
Cue some good looking chick named Lexi (sidenote: the intro said she and Eve would be at ringside as seconds but she's running out?) to be in the champs' corner. Ramparte blasts Haven in the head with a chair as Mussel whips Hyada with the title belt. A chair shot to the back puts Hyada down again but the champs let him get up. Hyada fires off some strikes for two on Mussel as another chick named Eve comes out to even things out. Haven springboards in to take out the challengers and things speed up again.
Hyada goes up top but Mussel drops him with a quick low blow. A superplex gets two with Lexi diving in to make a save (the announcers reference this later. The word is dividends, not dividens). The girls get into a catfight as Flex and Ramparte (the match calls them the champions. These errors are starting to get confusing) stand over Hyada for a bit, allowing Haven to dropkick them into each other. Flex pops back up for a backbreaker on Haven as Ramparte knocks a chair out of Hyada's hands. Ramparte picks up the chair but Hyada pops up for a Van Daminator. Not bad.
Back up and Haven nails a high cross body to drop Flex. Ramparte low bridges Haven to the floor and Cerberus loads up the Wolves throw up into a kick, only to have Haven slide back in (dang that was fast) to break it up. Hyada punches Mussel on the way down and gets a delayed cover. Ramparte rolls up Haven at the same time, allowing Eve to knock Hyada off Mussel, leaving Ramparte to pin Haven for the titles.
Rating: D. I really didn't like this one. First and foremost, there was almost no reason for this to be a street fight. There were a few belt and chair shots but other than that it was just a regular tag with some interference. The falls count anywhere didn't come to mean anything as I don't remember a single cover outside.
You could have made this a mixed tag so the girls could have actually served a purpose. Speaking of the girls, where did Lexi go? I know she got hit with an ax handle, but a single ax handle keeps her down for the second half of a match? That brings me to another thing: the speed of the match.
That sequence with Hyada Superman Punching Mussel on the way down sounds good on paper, but there's almost no way that could have happened. Unless Mussel threw him roughly 200 feet in the air, it's almost impossible for Hyada to dive in and take out Ramparte for Hyada to change direction in midair like that. The description made it sound like the events happened consecutively and I couldn't picture that working in my head.
The match felt like it only lasted about eight minutes which doesn't justify a hardcore match. I know these guys had a history (another sidenote: those bullet points before the match helped. I had no idea who these teams were and it gave a brief yet sufficient backstory to them. They've been feuding for a long time is all you need for something like this.) but it didn't feel like they hated each other enough for a hardcore match. It just didn't work for me.
Here are Ricky Runn and Becky Serra (didn't she used to interview bunnies?) with something to say. On a PPV? Anyway, Runn didn't get a rematch for his World Title so he's not competiting in the title match tonight. Mikey Stormrage pops up on screen and wants to know why these two still have jobs. Uh Mikey, have you looked at Serra lately? There's something about a bunch of drunk texts from Ricky about various sexual things with Serra. Again, how does Mikey not get her employment? The boss, Mr. Banks, comes out and fires Runn so security can take him off. That's rather abrupt no?
Elite X Title: Constantine vs. Theron Daggershield
Constantine is champion and has defended the title three times already. I'm not sure what that means but maybe if he wins we all get tacos? We start quick with Constantine kicking him in the ribs and throwing Theron out to the floor. Well that didn't take long at least. Back in and Constantine stomps away, sending Theron cowering into the ropes. That's our hero? They get back up and the champ slaps on a headlock to throw the smaller guy around even more.
Constantine takes him into the corner and hammers away until the referee pulls him off. Theron finally gets his head together and scores with some dropkicks to put Constantine down for a few seconds. An atomic drop does it again and a fourth dropkick gets two. Constantine fights up from his knees and scores with a quick suplex. A running clothesline gets two as Theron is still in major trouble.
Theron fights back but walks into a big old backbreaker for two. This has been almost completely one sided so far. Ten straight headbutts bust Theron open to make this even worse. A quick small package gets two for Daggershield (what a name) and Constantine looks livid.
Back up and Theron fires off some kicks to the leg, only to Irish whip the champ into the referee. Constantine rolls outside and grabs the belt but Theron tries to take it away. The bigger man shoves him away but walks into an RKO onto the belt. There's no referee though, so Dagger tries to wake him up like a moron. The distraction lets Constantine nail a spinning spinebuster to retain the title.
Rating: D+. Still not a good match but I liked this a lot better. It was just a squash match and knew exactly how to go about having just that kind of a match. I would have liked Theron to have a bit more offense but this could have been a lot worse. I'm guessing Constantine is running out of opponents though as Theron came off like a total jobber here.
Zeus and Fallout are in the back rhyming when El Califa Dragon and Ty Burna (why are these two together? They're nothing alike) jump them from behind with various metal objects. They pull out barbed wire paraphernalia and I don't think I'm old enough to watch this. A barbed wire crown is placed on Zeus' head and blood is spilled. Ty and Dragon stand tall, looking like a war just ended. I'm not sure what set this up but I'm kind of interested in going back and finding out.
Showtime David Cougar and the Steven Holmes are in the back when Mr. Banks interrupts them to say that Holmes is banned from ringside for the next match.
We recap Cougar vs. Tastic. It seems Tastic has been feuding with the Elite for months and Cougar attacked Tastic's grandfather recently on Meltdown.
Eurasian Title: Matt Tastic vs. David Cougar
Cougar is challenging and Tastic is the hometown boy. For someone who hates Cougar, Tastic is calm enough to lock up with Showtime to get things going. Showtime gets in a shot to the ribs to take over and fires off some chops in the corner. More right hands and a DDT drop Matt but the arrogant Cougar walks around in circles. We get a Gavin Stomp of all things before he loads up a spear. Tastic jumps like a Puerto Rican jumping bean though and Cougar goes shoulder first into the post.
Matt grabs a pumphandle slam and a spinwheel kick gets two. The fans are getting into it a bit now but Tastic talks some unnecessary trash, allowing Cougar to rake his eyes. We head outside with Tastic in trouble and Showtime loading up the announcers' table. Matt is sent face first into the apron and a spear sends him into the barricade. Showtime grabs a bunch of weapons from under the ring with the big prize being a ladder. I don't see this ending well.
The referee actually tries to do his job for a bit by trying to get the guys back inside. Showtime doesn't seem to mind as he clotheslines Tastic onto the announcers' table and gets an evil look on his face. He climbs the ladder but thankfully Tastic isn't down enough to be in trouble. Matt climbs up and hammers away before hiptossing Cougar over the ladder and down through the table for a huge crash.
The referee again tries to earn some pay by checking on both guys. They're laid out in a heap though as the ref moves some of the stuff off their bodies. It's Tastic up first though, which makes sense given that Cougar fell much further. He scores with a right hand and takes Cougar back inside for a quick Headache Driver (over the shoulder tombstone) to knock David even sillier, but Showtime gets his foot on the ropes.
Tastic spends way too much time walking around confused by the foot on the rope, allowing David to grab a Texas Cloverleaf out of nowhere. Dang he was up fast after those big spots. Tastic crawls over to the ropes but is in big trouble.....until someone shoves the rope closer to him. The someone is revealed to be his grandfather, who apparently is still awesome enough to get through security and help his son cheat.
Cougar lets go of the hold as the old man bails. Showtime goes after him and grabs Grandpa by the shirt, only to have Matt get up and dive onto Cougar for a big crash. Back in and another Headache Driver plants Cougar but Steven Holmes starts talking over the loudspeaker. Matt looks up to see Holmes holding his grandfather by the throat, allowing Cougar to put the Cloverleaf on again. Holmes tells Matt to give up so his grandfather can be released, but Matt passes out to give Cougar the title.
Rating: C. This match showed a continuing problem in WZCW: matches don't last that long. It felt like you were going for a big match feel here and while you achieved that, this match felt like it would have lasted about nine minutes. Even though there was a lot of text due to emotions and walking around (those are good things, especially when you have someone as arrogant as Showtime), there wasn't a lot of action.
It's a brawl to start, then they head outside, then the ladder, then the Headache Driver, then the first Cloverleaf, then the dad, then the second Headache Driver, then the dad, then the second Cloverleaf to finish it. That's really not much action, especially in the second biggest match on the card. I liked what I saw, but this match needed a longer heat segment on the champion.
Post match Mr. Banks comes out and doesn't look pleased. He grabs a mic and says that the Elite has gone against his warning, so the repercussions are coming. Showtime may have won the title here, but he's going to be vacating it on Meltdown.
Kingdom Come ad.
Action Saxton is in the back and apparently wants to beat up Ricky Martin. When told that Martin only sings a theme song for the show, Saxton resigns himself to eating popcorn. Nothing wrong with a comedy cameo.
We get a nice Lethal Lottery By The Numbers video (love ya Harthan), basically saying the winner is a big deal.
Quick recap of the match: the Beard won the title from Burna and then walked out, so it's on the line again here in the battle royal. Burna agreed to go first after a dare from Califa Dragon. Standard Royal Rumble rules with thirty entrants and ninety second intervals with over the top eliminations.
WZCW World Title: Lethal Lottery
Ty Burna is #1 and Derek Jacobs is #2. Burna hammers away to start and suplexes Jacobs down before nailing an enziguri. A top rope leg lariat plants Derek before Ty just hammers away with right hands. Jacobs gets back up for a powerslam as Mikey Stormrage is in at #3. He goes right after his former Strike Force partner and hammers away with right hands. A quick Game Over plants Jacobs but Mikey turns around to see Ty waiting on him.
They trade big shots to the head but Mikey ducks most of them and claps Ty around the ears. Jacobs clotheslines both guys down though as Haven is in at #4. Jacobs hammers on Haven but it's finishers a go-go from the big names to throw Jacobs out. Haven is cool with sitting in the corner as Ty clotheslines Mikey down. A backbreaker plants Stormrage so Haven tries to sneak in, only to be backdropped to the apron. Haven slides back in as Steven Holmes is in at #5.
Holmes throws Haven down with a suplex before going after Ty with a knee to the head. He turns around into a Falcon Punch from Stormrage though and Holmes is already in trouble. Mikey punches everyone and is the only man on his feet so LIVE MAS! Haven tries to get up and eats a Game Over (at least someone other than Mikey got to eat something) before being tossed as well.
Mikey and Ty circles other for a bit as Holmes is smart enough to chill in the corner. Matt Tastic, Mikey's heterosexual life partner and fellow burrito fan, is in at #6. Mikey is very pleased but Holmes jumps Tastic before he gets in like any smart heel would. We have brawls inside and outside the ring with Matt putting the Puerto Rican flag over Holmes and whipping him into the barricade. That's rather rude to the flag isn't it Matt?
Everyone gets back in with Holmes going after Matt, only to walk into a hurricanrana. Mikey is down for a bit but goes right back after Ty until Lexi Hayes is in at #7. Hayes nailes Stormrage with a dropkick but winds up face to face with Burna. Holmes throws Matt at Ty for some reason, allowing Lexi to spear Steven down. Some chops have little effect on Mikey but a headbutt staggers him enough for a curb stomp to plant Stormrage again.
Tastic is back up so Lexi turns on the charm and throws Matt out to the apron. Frank Mortlock is in at #8 and goes right after Matt as Holmes gets double teamed. Matt gets back inside as Holmes is planted by a flapjack. Ty turns on Lexi with a DDT but Mikey is back up. He goes after Ty but gets nailed by an elbow from Mortlock. They double team the fat guy for a bit until Tastic breaks up a double suplex attempt to save his buddy.
Mikey suplexes both guys at once because he's fat and therefore strong. A Falcon Punch lays out Hayes and a second puts Holmes down. Matt hits a springboard flip dive as Constantine is in at #9. The ring is getting too full. Constantine pulls Holmes through the ropes and to the floor for a breather as Matt collapses from exhaustion. Everyone in the ring not named Mikey or Matt jumps Mikey for a triple team, only to have Ty turn on Mortlock and toss him out.
The Elite finally gets together and cleans house on everyone other than Tastic. That's quite the mistake though as Matt sneaks in behind them with a chair to lay both of them out. Eve Taylor comes in at #10, taking her time though as Matt is destroying the Elite with the chair. He finally stops to open the ropes for Taylor but collapses as soon as she gets in. I know she's good looking but come on dude.
The girls go at it for a bit with Taylor getting the better of it but not being able to throw Lexi out. Matt gets back to his feet but eats a kick to the face from Eve. Mikey side slams Taylor down but walks into a bicycle kick from Ty. Everyone but Matt (noticing a theme here?) get up for a big brawl as Mick Overlast is in at #11. He walks past Tastic on the floor (not eliminated) and goes up to dive on everyone else in the ring for a big crash.
Back up and Mick keeps cleaning house by knocking down almost everyone in sight. Matt gets back up as Eve and Mick go to the ropes, only to have Tastic low bridge both of them down to the floor for a double elimination. At the moment we've got Burna, Stormrage, Holmes, Tastic, Hayes and Constantine active. Everyone goes to a corner before the Elite turns their attention to Hayes.
Backstage Bob, as in the guy named Bob who works backstage, is in at #12. Lexi uses the distraction to dropkick Constantine into the ropes, sending Ty over to try to dump him out. Mikey and Matt go after Bob but the backstage dude bails to the floor. With Ty going after Holmes, Lexi is failing to get Constantine over the top. Matt and Mikey chase Bob to the floor but he stops them with.....cotton candy. I never could stand that stuff and again, WHY HAS NO ONE OFFERED ME A TASTY TREAT TONIGHT?
Anyway, Bob gets back inside and goes after Ty, distracting him long enough for Holmes to nail Lexi (lucky) and dump her out. Ramparte is in at #13 and goes after Mikey and Matt, drawing in the Elite for what could be a big time tag match somewhere else. Ty throws Bob out as you had to expect, leaving us with six in the ring. The teams go after each other as Ramparte actually gets the better of Ty, nailing him with an ax handle to the head and trying to put him out.
Ramparte's partner Flex Mussel is in at #14 and goes to help with Ty, only to have Tastic whip Holmes into all four guys. Mikey grabs a full nelson on Constantine, allowing Matt to.....twist his nipples. A dropkick and suplex combo make things a bit more serious and Constantine is in trouble. It gets even worse with Cerberus going after Constantine, only to have Matt and Mikey whip him into Holmes.
Aubrey Sloan is in at #15 to get us to halftime with a grouping of Ty, Stormrage, Tastic, Ramparte, Mussel, Holmes, Constantine and Sloan. Aubrey goes after all three teams to put everyone down but takes too long posing, allowing Constantine to throw her to the floor. Sloan skins the cat to get back in and kicks Constantine in the face ion the way back. Holmes puts Mikey in a chinlock of all things as Cerberus double teams Constantine.
ElegANT is in at #16 because everyone needs a little Chikara in their lives. Unfortunately he's given the Luke treatment and takes a backdrop from Stormrage to eliminate him almost immediately. Somehow it's already time for another entrant as Daddy Mack is in at #17. He takes his time getting to ringside, allowing Ty and Aubrey to clothesline Flex out to the floor. Tastic and Stormrage won't be one upped (though Mikey might like it) and dump Ramparte.
The Elite go after Mack until Burna pulls Holmes away to beat him like he stole something. Aubrey goes after Matt, leaving Mikey to fight Constantine. A big spinebuster plants Mikey for a nice power display as David Cougar is in at #18 to complete the Elite. Cougar and Mack go at it while the rest of the Elite goes after Mikey. Tastic makes a quick save though as Ty slams Aubrey and Blade is in at #19.
The Elite throws Mack out to the steps but he stays on his feet, only to have Blade pull him down to the floor for an elimination. Blade finally gets in and takes Sloan down with a reverse DDT. Now the Elite focuses on Ty, only to have some miscommunication send Constantine into Holmes, sending Steven out for an elimination. Hyada is in at #20, giving us a group of Burna, Stormrage, Tastic, Constantine, Sloan, Cougar, Blade and Hyada.
Hyada dives onto the rest of the Elite as Mikey and Tastic go under the ring for some Gatorade (anything but red). Sloan and Hyada go after the Elite but Blade gets away from Ty to go after Mikey and Matt. They're ready for him though with some Gatorade spit in the eye and after a game of Rock Paper Scissors, it's Mikey who gets two go after him. Hyada kicks Constantine in the head as Kagura Ohzora is in at #21.
Ohzora cleans house with martial arts (because she's from Japan see) as the Elite gets back up to take down Hyada and Sloan with clotheslines. El Califa Dragon is in at #22 and dropkicks Tastic down to come in. Stormrage Game Overs Constantine but gets kicked in the head by Ohzora. The karate kids clean house, leaving only Califa and Ohzora standing.
Of all people, Doug freaking Crashin is in at #23 and no one seems interested. That's as good as it gets for Doug though, as EVERYONE hits their finishers on him with Ty kicking Crashin out to the floor for a fast elimination. Cougar pops back in and throws Ohzora out to the floor as Constantine goes after Ty. Sloan hammers on Califa as Ty throws Constantine across the ring, right into Hyada to knock the filler out.
Ty goes after Showtime until Constantine comes over for a save, only to have Tastic load him up for a Headache Driver. Time for another entrant as the masked Diablos is in at #24, giving us Burna, Stormrage, Tastic, Constantine, Sloan, Cougar, Blade, Califa and Diablos. He goes right after Mikey, just like Califa does with Sloan. Ty hammers on Showtime (of course) while Diablos switches over to Blade. Burna elbows out of a Headache Driver attempt but eats the Screw Attack to put him down in the corner.
Stormrage and Diablos go after Blade in the corner and get him out but Blade's Men In Black come out to catch their leader in midair. Blade is thrown back in by his boys as the Elite throws out Diablos. Mister Alhazred is in at #25...but no one comes out. Instead Diablos rips off his mask to reveal Alhazred, who quickly dumps Blade for revenge. Blade is livid but leaves with the MIB.
Sloan has to run from Alhazred who goes into slasher villain mode after the pretty blonde. Aubrey comes back with a belly to belly but runs into Ty. Alhazred pulls out his Power Glove and nails her with a spinning backfist, allowing he and Ty to dump Sloan. Califa comes off the top rope with a cross body on Constantine. Mikey and Matt go after Showtime but Cougar plants Matt and nails a reverse DDT on Stormrage.
The Elite goes after Mikey as Califa goes after Ty to save Alhazred for some reason. Ty isn't pleased and tries another kick but gets caught in a bridging cobra clutch. Theron Daggershield is in at #26 as we're getting close to the end. He swings a sword (Berzerker!) at the Elite, allowing Tastic to get back up and go after Cougar. Theron plants Constantine as Alhazred hammers on Mikey in the corner. Showtime loads up Tastic for what looks like a C4 off the top (not called the C4 2000 kids) but has to kick Califa away.
Matt fires off some elbows but gets flipped over anyway for a big crash. Theron hurricanranas Califa to the apron but the dragon hangs on for dear life. M is in at #27 as the ring is WAY too full. He cleans house with various EVIL moves but stops to pose like a schnook. The first target is Ty but M is too low level of a guy to dump someone like Burna. Instead he chokes Ty on the apron, only to get lifted up for a near elimination. Burna comes back with a suplex and nails Constantine with yet another bicycle kick.
S.H.I.T. is in at #28 for I believe a big return. It's about time we have one of those. Alhazred panics and tries a handshake, only to be lifted up into a bearhug and thrown out a second later. Mikey and Matt take chops from the robot until it's S.H.I.T. vs. Ty. Burna offers a handshake but whips him into the ropes, only to eat a chop of his own. Ty is busted open as commentator Jack Cohen is in at #29. He actually nails some atomic drops until Califa dropkicks him out in maybe thirty seconds.
Things get back to normal now with Califa caught in a robot nerve hold and M taking Game Over. The far too close buddies throw M into Showtime and Cougar is knocked out to the floor in a big surprise. Showtime won't stand for this and grabs a chair to knock out everyone but Constantine. He leaves the chair with the Elite's last hope, allowing Constantine to nail S.H.I.T. in the head for an elimination. M takes a spinebuster and gets dumped as well to clear the ring out a bit.
The returning Chris K.O. is in at #30, giving us a final group of Burna, Stormrage, Tastic, Constantine, Califa, Daggershield and K.O. Chris slowly gets in and sits on the ropes, only to have Theron be whipped in the same rope for an elimination. We're down to six now with Burna and K.O. staring each other down. Califa's hurricanrana to Constantine is countered and he lands right between Ty and Chris. K.O. tries a flying knee to Ty but hits Califa instead, setting up a bicycle kick to eliminate the dragon.
Constantine grabs his chair but is surrouned by the other four. Chris and Tastic go after him with Mikey running Chris over, only to have Ty pull Matt off and clothesline him to the apron. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a flying knee to Constantine, just as Ty blasts him with the bicycle kick at the same time. A double clothesline is enough to put Constantine out and eliminate the Elite's last hope.
We're down to four now Mikey gets double teamed and sent to the apron next to his buddy. Ty nails yet another bicycle kick (dude, learn a new move already) but Mikey saves Matt from hitting the floor. Back in and Ty loads up another kick but Mikey drops down and low bridges him out to the floor. See, I told you he needed to learn a new move. We're down to three now as Ty looks stunned. Mikey looks down at him but gets kneed from behind by Chris for a quick elimination. Burna is pleased as he walks away.
We're down to Tastic and K.O. for the title. They both look at the belt before slugging it out, followed by Matt nailing a hard clothesline. Chris stops a charging Tastic with a raised boot and takes him up for a superplex. Matt knees him in the head to escape and snaps off a top rope hurricanrana to send Chris to the floor while hanging onto the ropes for the win.
Rating: B. I dug the heck out of this with Tastic hanging on the entire time to win the belt. I'm not wild on the ending though as it was clear Matt was winning as soon as Ty was eliminated. Have the Elite/Ty and Matt/Mikey as the final group and the ending is far better. The match has a great balance of drama with some limited comedy and it held together very well. I really liked the tag team stage earlier in the match as the key to keeping a long match like this together is to have the match in sections. I dug this a lot and it went a long way to save the show.
Mikey runs out to celebrate and is shocked to find out that Matt is really from Puerto Rico to end the show. Something tells me that still wouldn't be funny eve if I read all the promos.
Overall Rating: C+. The good thing about a show where the whole thing is build around one match is that match can save the show, which is what happened here. The first three matches really didn't do anything for me and had me dreading how long I had to go. There's more than enough good in the main event to carry things though and it made me forget about the rest of the card.
The first show I ever reviewed for you guys was All Or Nothing 2013 and this is a big step up from that. The characters are more interesting and far more developed and I have a better idea of the stories without needing to read about 18 other posts. The show was much easier to get into and the bullet points before the matches helped a lot. Couple that with the far better blocking out of text and this show was far easier to get through.
There are still problems though with the main ones already addressed. Above all else, the pacing of the matches (save for the main event) is still shaky. The matches feel like they're all twelve minutes at most, which is a problem when three matches should be taking up nearly an hour and a half. I get that it's hard to do that with a text match, but there are a few ways you could do that.
Something to keep in mind here: on what would be a nearly three hour show, I believe I saw two rest holds and they were both in the Royal Rumble style match. It's ok to slap on an armbar or a chinlock to pad your match out. Not everything has to be signature moves or spent almost entirely on moving the match forward.
One of the biggest weaknesses here is psychology as the matches seem more like they're designed to just do moves rather than build anything up. Other than Cougar being cocky because he knows he's better than everyone, almost everyone wrestled the exact same style. Work some body parts, have a guy come in angry and unfocused, slow things down and let a match build up a bit. There are ways to do this and unfortunately it comes off like a lot of the same thing every time.
That brings me to my last criticism: as I mentioned, the same moves are used WAY too many times. Ty probably used that kick about 10 times in a match which is far too often. Again, mix things up a bit. I know it's a signature move but have him throw a dropkick or a forearm or just a right hand instead of going for the big move all the time. It gets repetitive after awhile and I was rolling my eyes each time I saw it again.
Overall the show was entertaining and a good way to get to know most of the roster. The top of Kingdom Come should be fairly obvious at this point (especially since I've read the card) and it has the potential to be good, assuming things go as planned. I'm not entirely sold on the midcard yet but there's potential in there to pull off some decent stuff. And yes, I'll be doing Kingdom Come as well.
