Luther_Hull
Cunt.
Bah Gawd Ladies and Gentleman! It's the return of LCW!!! Since the last one was unceremoniously dumped into the Bar Room archives, the next one can be started in here, the cage, so I'm able to enforce racial and social stereotypes. With that being said, let's go straight to Glanford Park, Scunthorpe for the return of LC F'N W!!!!!
LC F'N W
Welcome to LCW folks, where after a half a year off, there are still no original ideas whatsoever! They'll probably be rehashes of shitty stipulations and mentions of WZers who are long gone and no longer relevant! With that being said, let's welcome our special guest commentator! Hide your wives folks...
Oh Christ, and your kids too. There's a lawsuit for LCW if ever there was one. Better get on with the first match then, before any more damage happens. Let's go...
The following match, will be a ladder match with the ring surrounded by a lake containing piranhas match! Introducing first, from "Ireland" it's IC25!!! This one's gonna be huge folks, he's facing another former admin in Y 2 Jake right after this commercial break!
Well folks, IC25, who is stood in the ring now was scheduled to face Y 2 Jake in a ladder match with the ring surrounded by a lake containing piranhas match, unfortunately Y 2 Jake has not made it to the arena tonight. He informed us some time last week that he was in Cumbria trying to hail a taxi, that was the last we heard of him, and he's not here tonight. Introducing Y 2 Jake's replacement D-Man! The crowd groans as D-Man enthusiastically runs to the ring. It's two friends facing each other! Bah Gawd!
The match starts with IC25 carrying D-Man, he throws him down in the corner and goes out to get a ladder, forgetting there are piranhas there, he loses a foot. Tragic. IC25 limps back into the ring with a ladder and begins to hop up it, D-Man gets up and ascends the turnbuckle, he jumps onto the ladder! He's right underneath IC25 on the ladder, IC25 going to get the belt! D-Man pulls him down, but IC25 holds on, oh God, D-Man has pulled IC25 straight down the ladder, D-Man's head is literally right up IC25's ass! Bah Gawd, he manages to just pull out and ascend the other side of the ladder. Bang! What was that? D-Man has fell straight off the ladder, IC25 grabs the belt! But he doesn't celebrate, he goes to his fallen friend. There's a trickle of blood coming from the bullet hole in D-Man's head, but it doesn't look serious. Wait, what? THERE'S A FREAKING BULLET IN HIS HEAD. D-Man has been shot. Who did it? Maybe we'll find out after the break...
Well, amateur comedy hour is over. Let's get on with the show, unfortunately the police have been slow to respond and as a result we've had to leave D-Man's body in the ring until they arrive. Nevertheless, the show must go on...
The following match, is an LCW classic, it's a meat strapped to the face whilst lions with rabies surround the ring match. Introducing first, Doc! Apparently Doc requested to be in this match, though the LCW GM told him it was for hard work. Introducing his opponent, KB! KB is no stranger to LCW, in fact, he started a smaller promotion riding off the success of LCW. Let's see if it's a factor in this historic night for LCW.
The match starts with some punches, though neither man can see due to the large amounts of meat strapped to their faces. KB bounces off the ropes and hits a massive dropkick on Doc, that shook the ring. Doc flies out of the ring and is a victim for the lions, the lions completely maul Doc and his face his ripped off. He's going to have to get a new face. Doc climbs back in the limb, faceless, he just won't give up. KB has a steel chair! This can't be good. He swings! Doc blocks it! Doc throws KB over the ropes, he's going to get his face mauled! Bah Gawd! It's NorCal! NorCal saves KB! But wait, NorCal hits them both in the face with a steel chair, he covers Doc. 1-2-3! NorCal has won it.
NorCal grabs the mic, "Mighty NorCal just won a match that Mighty NorCal wasn't even in. That's just how damn good Mighty NorCal is, but that's not why Mighty NorCal is out here, Mighty NorCal is out here to get some damn answers."
IC25 walks to the ring, mic in hand. "IC25 hears you Norcs, IC25 also wants some damn answers"
NorCal: "Don't speak in the 3rd Person like Mighty NorCal does, you're not Mighty NorCal, nor will you ever be".
IC25: "Sorry"
NorCal: "Mighty NorCal accepts your apology, now Mighty NorCal came out here to find out what happened to the third member of our trio, D-Man. Mighty NorCal is determined to find out who shot D-Man in the head, IC25, you'll help"
IC25: "OK, it's just us two though, as JGoose is busy saving blind orphans from house fires"
NorCal: "God bless JGoose"
IC25: "God bless JGoose"
LCW Universe: "God bless JGoose"
Backstage, we see Derf having sex with a child.
Luther walks to the ring, the crowd go crazy. He has the LCW Championship on his shoulder. "Last time I was here, I probably won, but that's not the point, the point is, I'll be defending my championship tonight, against some joke called A.J, again."
Doc is walking backstage, Dave comes up to him "Hey Doc, I saw you get your face ripped off and thought I'd make you a new one", he hands the face to Doc "Dave, I'm not gonna lie to ya, that, that sucks". Dave smiles, "I'm glad he liked it".
The following match, will be another LCW classic, a bird seed with birds match. Introducing first, Tastycles! His opponent, Sam! As they are about to get ready, the pigeons arrive, and they're pissed off as hell! They're shitting all over the place, this match is a disaster, Sam grabs a mic, "Y'know what? I'm better than this, Tasty, I know you are too, let's just walk out of here" The two competitors walk out as the referee starts his ten count, he reaches nine when Tasty rushes back to the ring! He wins! Sam looks annoyed, he catches a pigeon, and kills it! Take that pigeon! Take that society!
Backstage we see anyone who hasn't been mentioned, crying.
Now it's time for our main event folks! AJ vs Luther XXVII!!!! The match starts off with punches, fuck knows what the stipulation is, but there's a brick wall, an oak tree and a fuck load of Chinese people in the ring. Luther tries to hit the Autoban early on but can't for some reason, what's happening? AJ takes the advantage and hits Luther with a can of Diet Coke, what's all that about? Anyway, Luther hits back with a Sky+ remote, where are they getting these ideas from? BOOM! A piano has landed in the ring, right on top of Luther! Who did that? It's that rascal Sly! Now he's telling everyone about it as AJ pins Luther, 1-2-2.9999!!!! jpfizzle to the rescue! He stabs AJ! The blood is everywhere, now he's slitting his throat and ripping out his vocal chords, now he's strangling AJ with them, now he's stomping on his head and slashing his body with the knife, now he's cutting his fingers off individually. Luther comes across to talk to jpfizzle, this is going too far surely. Luther grabs the knife from jpfizzle, but then mutilates AJ's face, cutting off his nose and gouging his eyeballs out, then stepping on them. Luther covers him, 1-2-3! Luther retains the championship, but has AJ's LCW run finally come to an end?
LC F'N W
Welcome to LCW folks, where after a half a year off, there are still no original ideas whatsoever! They'll probably be rehashes of shitty stipulations and mentions of WZers who are long gone and no longer relevant! With that being said, let's welcome our special guest commentator! Hide your wives folks...
Oh Christ, and your kids too. There's a lawsuit for LCW if ever there was one. Better get on with the first match then, before any more damage happens. Let's go...
The following match, will be a ladder match with the ring surrounded by a lake containing piranhas match! Introducing first, from "Ireland" it's IC25!!! This one's gonna be huge folks, he's facing another former admin in Y 2 Jake right after this commercial break!
Well folks, IC25, who is stood in the ring now was scheduled to face Y 2 Jake in a ladder match with the ring surrounded by a lake containing piranhas match, unfortunately Y 2 Jake has not made it to the arena tonight. He informed us some time last week that he was in Cumbria trying to hail a taxi, that was the last we heard of him, and he's not here tonight. Introducing Y 2 Jake's replacement D-Man! The crowd groans as D-Man enthusiastically runs to the ring. It's two friends facing each other! Bah Gawd!
The match starts with IC25 carrying D-Man, he throws him down in the corner and goes out to get a ladder, forgetting there are piranhas there, he loses a foot. Tragic. IC25 limps back into the ring with a ladder and begins to hop up it, D-Man gets up and ascends the turnbuckle, he jumps onto the ladder! He's right underneath IC25 on the ladder, IC25 going to get the belt! D-Man pulls him down, but IC25 holds on, oh God, D-Man has pulled IC25 straight down the ladder, D-Man's head is literally right up IC25's ass! Bah Gawd, he manages to just pull out and ascend the other side of the ladder. Bang! What was that? D-Man has fell straight off the ladder, IC25 grabs the belt! But he doesn't celebrate, he goes to his fallen friend. There's a trickle of blood coming from the bullet hole in D-Man's head, but it doesn't look serious. Wait, what? THERE'S A FREAKING BULLET IN HIS HEAD. D-Man has been shot. Who did it? Maybe we'll find out after the break...
Well, amateur comedy hour is over. Let's get on with the show, unfortunately the police have been slow to respond and as a result we've had to leave D-Man's body in the ring until they arrive. Nevertheless, the show must go on...
The following match, is an LCW classic, it's a meat strapped to the face whilst lions with rabies surround the ring match. Introducing first, Doc! Apparently Doc requested to be in this match, though the LCW GM told him it was for hard work. Introducing his opponent, KB! KB is no stranger to LCW, in fact, he started a smaller promotion riding off the success of LCW. Let's see if it's a factor in this historic night for LCW.
The match starts with some punches, though neither man can see due to the large amounts of meat strapped to their faces. KB bounces off the ropes and hits a massive dropkick on Doc, that shook the ring. Doc flies out of the ring and is a victim for the lions, the lions completely maul Doc and his face his ripped off. He's going to have to get a new face. Doc climbs back in the limb, faceless, he just won't give up. KB has a steel chair! This can't be good. He swings! Doc blocks it! Doc throws KB over the ropes, he's going to get his face mauled! Bah Gawd! It's NorCal! NorCal saves KB! But wait, NorCal hits them both in the face with a steel chair, he covers Doc. 1-2-3! NorCal has won it.
NorCal grabs the mic, "Mighty NorCal just won a match that Mighty NorCal wasn't even in. That's just how damn good Mighty NorCal is, but that's not why Mighty NorCal is out here, Mighty NorCal is out here to get some damn answers."
IC25 walks to the ring, mic in hand. "IC25 hears you Norcs, IC25 also wants some damn answers"
NorCal: "Don't speak in the 3rd Person like Mighty NorCal does, you're not Mighty NorCal, nor will you ever be".
IC25: "Sorry"
NorCal: "Mighty NorCal accepts your apology, now Mighty NorCal came out here to find out what happened to the third member of our trio, D-Man. Mighty NorCal is determined to find out who shot D-Man in the head, IC25, you'll help"
IC25: "OK, it's just us two though, as JGoose is busy saving blind orphans from house fires"
NorCal: "God bless JGoose"
IC25: "God bless JGoose"
LCW Universe: "God bless JGoose"
Backstage, we see Derf having sex with a child.
Luther walks to the ring, the crowd go crazy. He has the LCW Championship on his shoulder. "Last time I was here, I probably won, but that's not the point, the point is, I'll be defending my championship tonight, against some joke called A.J, again."
Doc is walking backstage, Dave comes up to him "Hey Doc, I saw you get your face ripped off and thought I'd make you a new one", he hands the face to Doc "Dave, I'm not gonna lie to ya, that, that sucks". Dave smiles, "I'm glad he liked it".
The following match, will be another LCW classic, a bird seed with birds match. Introducing first, Tastycles! His opponent, Sam! As they are about to get ready, the pigeons arrive, and they're pissed off as hell! They're shitting all over the place, this match is a disaster, Sam grabs a mic, "Y'know what? I'm better than this, Tasty, I know you are too, let's just walk out of here" The two competitors walk out as the referee starts his ten count, he reaches nine when Tasty rushes back to the ring! He wins! Sam looks annoyed, he catches a pigeon, and kills it! Take that pigeon! Take that society!
Backstage we see anyone who hasn't been mentioned, crying.
Now it's time for our main event folks! AJ vs Luther XXVII!!!! The match starts off with punches, fuck knows what the stipulation is, but there's a brick wall, an oak tree and a fuck load of Chinese people in the ring. Luther tries to hit the Autoban early on but can't for some reason, what's happening? AJ takes the advantage and hits Luther with a can of Diet Coke, what's all that about? Anyway, Luther hits back with a Sky+ remote, where are they getting these ideas from? BOOM! A piano has landed in the ring, right on top of Luther! Who did that? It's that rascal Sly! Now he's telling everyone about it as AJ pins Luther, 1-2-2.9999!!!! jpfizzle to the rescue! He stabs AJ! The blood is everywhere, now he's slitting his throat and ripping out his vocal chords, now he's strangling AJ with them, now he's stomping on his head and slashing his body with the knife, now he's cutting his fingers off individually. Luther comes across to talk to jpfizzle, this is going too far surely. Luther grabs the knife from jpfizzle, but then mutilates AJ's face, cutting off his nose and gouging his eyeballs out, then stepping on them. Luther covers him, 1-2-3! Luther retains the championship, but has AJ's LCW run finally come to an end?
