Dragonball Z: Battle Of The Gods
"Toriyama's Backhanded Apology For DB: Evolution"
"Toriyama's Backhanded Apology For DB: Evolution"
The popularity of the Dragonball Franchise is unmatched. For 30 years it has produced all sorts of media. All starting from the manga to the anime, it's (now non-canon) spin-off, uncountable amounts of videogames, merch and of course nearly 20 movies. However there has been no new televised content based on DBZ in decades outside of 3 specials and the re-edited TV series. Enter this. The 14th DBZ movie. Officially made a part of the Dragonball canon as it was directly worked by it's creator Akira Toriyama. It removes the crap from Dragon Ball GT...... And then puts new crap in it's place. I'll be honest. I didn't like it.
Plot:
An unspecified time after the defeat of Majin Buu and the resurrection of Earth, the heroes celebrate Bulma's birthday. But one person is missing. That person is non-other than the social pariah but still eternally adored Goku. Who's off training on King Kai's mysteriously revived planet to intentionally miss the party of the closest thing to a relative he's ever had. Cunt. As that happens, we're introduced to Beerus. God Of Destruction. Who wakes from a years long slumber and is briefed on what happened on Namek by his servant, Whis. Why Namek if what happened with Majin Buu was so much worse? Well, there's a reason set for the next movie actually. But Beerus hears the term "Super Saiyan" and recalls of a "Super Saiyan GOD" myth he heard from a fish who's never accurate from what Whis says. So he decides to seek Goku to see if that myth is true.
King Kai warns Goku that Beerus is not to be messed with, but Goku is Goku and the idiot want's to his strength against an entity who's job is to blow up planets. He very uncharacteristically shows a lot of arrogance as he showcases his strength to the God at SSJ3. Then uncharacteristically shows a lot of ignorance by attacking head on even though he's clearly outmatched and loses as Beerus heads to Earth to meet with Vegeta to see if he knows anything about the myth. Goku tries to figure out how to get stronger for a rematch because he can't take a hint. King Kai warns Vegeta of Beerus and Vegeta recalls meeting him once so he actually knows not to treat him lightly.
Beerus arrives on Bulmas party and we're then treated to 20 minutes of ridiculousness as Emperor Pilaf from the very first act of Dragonball of all people with his servants, Mai and Shu, appear to steal the Dragonballs. They get caught by Goten and Trunks. The latter of who gets shipped with Mai. A 40+ year old woman in a kid's body, mind you. Meanwhile Beerus and Whis check out the party as Vegeta tries to keep the easily annoyed God calm. It leads to Vegeta in silly scenarios you'd never see him in. For 20 minutes. We also get DRUNK Gohan as Pilaf pulls out a gun and a bullet bounces of Gohan's leg but Videl is normal and she has one in her leg. Dende heals her and we casually learn that Gohan's married and his wife Videl is pregnant. There was 20 minutes to show Pilaf and Vegeta in wacky comedy but not flesh out the character who was the PROTAGONIST for half the series? There's a Monday Night Raw joke there, I know it.
Mr. Buu pigs out and eats Beerus' pudding triggering the God's wrath and proclaiming the destruction of Earth. Fucking pudding, man. Beerus proceeds to mop the floor with everyone including Mystic Gohan who was stronger than Goku and once a very damn important character, but hey "he's bland" so fuck him along with everyone else not called Goku. Bulma puts her foot down and yells at Beerus. She get's slapped for her efforts. Vegeta then ERUPTS. And at SSJ1 actually hurts Beerus. Goku and Gohan couldn't, but Vegeta pissed off could. Fucker didn't even go SSJ3. The setup was right THERE! After some showing off though, Beerus gives him the Fingerpoke of Doom and Vegeta does what he does best. Job.
After shitting on every character not named Goku, Goku arrives and despite him ditching his family on a special occasion to train in the afterlife, everyone practically worships him when he arrives. Remember when Chi-Chi gave him hell for doing it in one of the last DBZ episodes? Akira Toriyama doesn't. Goku decides to summon the Dragon and ask him about the Super Saiyan God and Beerus decides to wait it out to see. Shenron explains that in the original Saiyan homeworld the good Saiyans banded together to purge the evil one's. 5 granted their power to 1 to create....... A God. What? They also failed. FUCKING WHAT?!
The 5 Saiyans gather and test the theory but it doesn't work. Whis gives them a basic math lesson on ratios. If 5 give their power to 1..... You can't pull power out of yourself only to take it right back. Keep in mind there's a scholar in there. They scratch their heads after that lesson in logic wondering where they can get a 6th Saiyan even mentioning Vegeta's brother because we needed an official seal of canocity on that silly tidbit before Videl reveals she's pregnant with a Quarter-breed Saiyan. The future Pan herself. I miss Broly. Gohan then lets us know his dad's shitty parenting rubbed off on him as he has his pregnant wife and unborn child participate in a life-force draining ritual with untold consequences that hasn't been practiced in ages. Vegeta also wonder why Goku gets to be God. He already was, dude. Didn't you see everyone groveling? This is just the formal coronation.
Goku acquires God-like characteristics and becomes leaner.... Why? And the fight is finally on under the condition that if Goku wins Earth is spared. Beerus questions Goku's motivations as Goku replies that he doesn't like having to swallow his pride and depend on rituals to acquire this power and Piccolo notes that the fight looks like a lesson. It's a pretty visually stunning fight too. But Goku loses his God-powers. Somehow his advantage stays. In his base and SSJ1 forms. They battle it out to outer space where Goku unleashes a Kamehameha at full power. But Beerus counters with a familiar move. The Supernova. Freeza's planet destroying maneuver. He sends it down to Earth as Goku refuses to give up thinking about his family. The same people he ditched in the start of all this. Goku digs down deep and stops the attack. How? Not even he knows actually. But he's all drained out and Beerus looks to keep going. Goku asks why and Beerus replies that he just wants Goku to admit defeat. Goku does. DOOMING EARTH. AGAIN! Beerus explains Whis is actually his teacher and there's more powerful beings in other dimensions as Goku collapses in laughter learning he'll never be the strongest like he wanted. YOU'RE A GOD, MAN!
Back down on Earth Beerus says he'll destroy the Earth and shoots a rock. There goes a piece of earth. Ba-dum-dish. Goku makes a believer out of Beerus who looks forward to a friendlier rematch. And pudding. Because that's what caused all this. Beerus eats Wasabi back in his homeworld in the only bit I ever found funny because I actually did that. Goku makes fun of Vegeta who blushes excessively. What, he wasn't degraded enough yet? We then get a bad cover of "Cha-la-Head-Cha-la" in broken English.... Oh my God REALLY broken English, to close things. The last frame we get is the Father-Son Kamehameha scene as Sean Schemmel gives us one last hurrah.
The focus is still entirely on Goku.
My Thoughts:
The writing is terrible. The movie is a 60 minute tribute to Goku with 20 minutes of focus on Vegeta. Most of which was him making an ass out of himself before doing something rather unrealistic only to look small next to God Goku. Vegeta, you're Dolph Ziggler bro. Goku is John Cena. Seriously. Watch the credits. It shows panels with the manga focusing almost entirely on Goku and glaringly skipping Gohan's major moments and even most of Vegeta's. There's not even a sight of Future Trunks. That's basically what this boils down to. No one other than Goku matters. He got the fancy God power up. Everyone else was made to look like an ass. Beerus for the most part was an interesting character, but nothing deep. God of Destruction. That was as deep as it was going to get for a non-villian. He's just doing his job and being curious. Terrible teacher though.
The thing that makes this worse is that the movie is built on the premise of humbling Goku. He admits defeat for seemingly the first time in his life. There was a point when he wasn't the be-all-end-all, you know? Secondly he was forced to quit when the Earth was at stake. Let me repeat. He had to GIVE UP ON SAVING EARTH. It wasn't a friendly sparing match like the beginning and there was a point in the climax where Beerus told Goku to stop treating fights like a game because more often than not it leads to life and death. And until the punchline in the end, it only led to death. The only thing to let you know everything would be alright is of course the fact that Pan is born before the end of DBZ. Then of course there's the ridiculous inconsistencies with everyone's skill level. Vegeta SSJ1 (no sparks as shown and explained earlier by Goku so it wasn't 2) does more damage to Beerus than Goku at level 3 or Mystic Gohan and Gotenks doesn't even bother with Super Saiyan 3.
There is zero character development. Gohan's relationship progressed behind everyone's back and we don't even know he's married until Chi-Chi screamed it out randomly midway through the movie. Vegeta is humiliated in unfunny ways. Remember when he was gonna blow up Earth on a fit? Or when he didn't give a shit about his kid or know the mothers name? DBGT treated him with more respect even though the fucker grew a mustache, cut his hair and drove his daughter around. Akira Toriyama said this movie was supposed to bring the series to it's DB roots. Which roots? The martial arts series with dirty comedy on the side? I didn't see it.
Praised be thy Goku. God Of Attention & Anti-Sociality.
Haha. Nope.
When drama and character development were a thing. And Gokuism wasn't.
Rating: D-
The nice visuals from the fight take almost an hour of pointlessness to get to and the lessons learned are broken just like the characterization. I seriously hope the sequel is better. Otherwise, hand things over to someone new, Akira. Want a good DBZ movie? Watch Worlds Strongest or Cooler's Revenge. But if you're a devout follower of Gokuism.... Well here you go. Worship away, he's officially a god now.
Coming up next:
Don't know what exactly I'll do next, but Legend Of Korra and ROH: Final Battle seem to be the most likely. If you've got suggestions, comments or recommendations, go ahead.
Plot:
An unspecified time after the defeat of Majin Buu and the resurrection of Earth, the heroes celebrate Bulma's birthday. But one person is missing. That person is non-other than the social pariah but still eternally adored Goku. Who's off training on King Kai's mysteriously revived planet to intentionally miss the party of the closest thing to a relative he's ever had. Cunt. As that happens, we're introduced to Beerus. God Of Destruction. Who wakes from a years long slumber and is briefed on what happened on Namek by his servant, Whis. Why Namek if what happened with Majin Buu was so much worse? Well, there's a reason set for the next movie actually. But Beerus hears the term "Super Saiyan" and recalls of a "Super Saiyan GOD" myth he heard from a fish who's never accurate from what Whis says. So he decides to seek Goku to see if that myth is true.
King Kai warns Goku that Beerus is not to be messed with, but Goku is Goku and the idiot want's to his strength against an entity who's job is to blow up planets. He very uncharacteristically shows a lot of arrogance as he showcases his strength to the God at SSJ3. Then uncharacteristically shows a lot of ignorance by attacking head on even though he's clearly outmatched and loses as Beerus heads to Earth to meet with Vegeta to see if he knows anything about the myth. Goku tries to figure out how to get stronger for a rematch because he can't take a hint. King Kai warns Vegeta of Beerus and Vegeta recalls meeting him once so he actually knows not to treat him lightly.
Beerus arrives on Bulmas party and we're then treated to 20 minutes of ridiculousness as Emperor Pilaf from the very first act of Dragonball of all people with his servants, Mai and Shu, appear to steal the Dragonballs. They get caught by Goten and Trunks. The latter of who gets shipped with Mai. A 40+ year old woman in a kid's body, mind you. Meanwhile Beerus and Whis check out the party as Vegeta tries to keep the easily annoyed God calm. It leads to Vegeta in silly scenarios you'd never see him in. For 20 minutes. We also get DRUNK Gohan as Pilaf pulls out a gun and a bullet bounces of Gohan's leg but Videl is normal and she has one in her leg. Dende heals her and we casually learn that Gohan's married and his wife Videl is pregnant. There was 20 minutes to show Pilaf and Vegeta in wacky comedy but not flesh out the character who was the PROTAGONIST for half the series? There's a Monday Night Raw joke there, I know it.
Mr. Buu pigs out and eats Beerus' pudding triggering the God's wrath and proclaiming the destruction of Earth. Fucking pudding, man. Beerus proceeds to mop the floor with everyone including Mystic Gohan who was stronger than Goku and once a very damn important character, but hey "he's bland" so fuck him along with everyone else not called Goku. Bulma puts her foot down and yells at Beerus. She get's slapped for her efforts. Vegeta then ERUPTS. And at SSJ1 actually hurts Beerus. Goku and Gohan couldn't, but Vegeta pissed off could. Fucker didn't even go SSJ3. The setup was right THERE! After some showing off though, Beerus gives him the Fingerpoke of Doom and Vegeta does what he does best. Job.
After shitting on every character not named Goku, Goku arrives and despite him ditching his family on a special occasion to train in the afterlife, everyone practically worships him when he arrives. Remember when Chi-Chi gave him hell for doing it in one of the last DBZ episodes? Akira Toriyama doesn't. Goku decides to summon the Dragon and ask him about the Super Saiyan God and Beerus decides to wait it out to see. Shenron explains that in the original Saiyan homeworld the good Saiyans banded together to purge the evil one's. 5 granted their power to 1 to create....... A God. What? They also failed. FUCKING WHAT?!
The 5 Saiyans gather and test the theory but it doesn't work. Whis gives them a basic math lesson on ratios. If 5 give their power to 1..... You can't pull power out of yourself only to take it right back. Keep in mind there's a scholar in there. They scratch their heads after that lesson in logic wondering where they can get a 6th Saiyan even mentioning Vegeta's brother because we needed an official seal of canocity on that silly tidbit before Videl reveals she's pregnant with a Quarter-breed Saiyan. The future Pan herself. I miss Broly. Gohan then lets us know his dad's shitty parenting rubbed off on him as he has his pregnant wife and unborn child participate in a life-force draining ritual with untold consequences that hasn't been practiced in ages. Vegeta also wonder why Goku gets to be God. He already was, dude. Didn't you see everyone groveling? This is just the formal coronation.
Goku acquires God-like characteristics and becomes leaner.... Why? And the fight is finally on under the condition that if Goku wins Earth is spared. Beerus questions Goku's motivations as Goku replies that he doesn't like having to swallow his pride and depend on rituals to acquire this power and Piccolo notes that the fight looks like a lesson. It's a pretty visually stunning fight too. But Goku loses his God-powers. Somehow his advantage stays. In his base and SSJ1 forms. They battle it out to outer space where Goku unleashes a Kamehameha at full power. But Beerus counters with a familiar move. The Supernova. Freeza's planet destroying maneuver. He sends it down to Earth as Goku refuses to give up thinking about his family. The same people he ditched in the start of all this. Goku digs down deep and stops the attack. How? Not even he knows actually. But he's all drained out and Beerus looks to keep going. Goku asks why and Beerus replies that he just wants Goku to admit defeat. Goku does. DOOMING EARTH. AGAIN! Beerus explains Whis is actually his teacher and there's more powerful beings in other dimensions as Goku collapses in laughter learning he'll never be the strongest like he wanted. YOU'RE A GOD, MAN!
Back down on Earth Beerus says he'll destroy the Earth and shoots a rock. There goes a piece of earth. Ba-dum-dish. Goku makes a believer out of Beerus who looks forward to a friendlier rematch. And pudding. Because that's what caused all this. Beerus eats Wasabi back in his homeworld in the only bit I ever found funny because I actually did that. Goku makes fun of Vegeta who blushes excessively. What, he wasn't degraded enough yet? We then get a bad cover of "Cha-la-Head-Cha-la" in broken English.... Oh my God REALLY broken English, to close things. The last frame we get is the Father-Son Kamehameha scene as Sean Schemmel gives us one last hurrah.
The focus is still entirely on Goku.
My Thoughts:
The writing is terrible. The movie is a 60 minute tribute to Goku with 20 minutes of focus on Vegeta. Most of which was him making an ass out of himself before doing something rather unrealistic only to look small next to God Goku. Vegeta, you're Dolph Ziggler bro. Goku is John Cena. Seriously. Watch the credits. It shows panels with the manga focusing almost entirely on Goku and glaringly skipping Gohan's major moments and even most of Vegeta's. There's not even a sight of Future Trunks. That's basically what this boils down to. No one other than Goku matters. He got the fancy God power up. Everyone else was made to look like an ass. Beerus for the most part was an interesting character, but nothing deep. God of Destruction. That was as deep as it was going to get for a non-villian. He's just doing his job and being curious. Terrible teacher though.
The thing that makes this worse is that the movie is built on the premise of humbling Goku. He admits defeat for seemingly the first time in his life. There was a point when he wasn't the be-all-end-all, you know? Secondly he was forced to quit when the Earth was at stake. Let me repeat. He had to GIVE UP ON SAVING EARTH. It wasn't a friendly sparing match like the beginning and there was a point in the climax where Beerus told Goku to stop treating fights like a game because more often than not it leads to life and death. And until the punchline in the end, it only led to death. The only thing to let you know everything would be alright is of course the fact that Pan is born before the end of DBZ. Then of course there's the ridiculous inconsistencies with everyone's skill level. Vegeta SSJ1 (no sparks as shown and explained earlier by Goku so it wasn't 2) does more damage to Beerus than Goku at level 3 or Mystic Gohan and Gotenks doesn't even bother with Super Saiyan 3.
There is zero character development. Gohan's relationship progressed behind everyone's back and we don't even know he's married until Chi-Chi screamed it out randomly midway through the movie. Vegeta is humiliated in unfunny ways. Remember when he was gonna blow up Earth on a fit? Or when he didn't give a shit about his kid or know the mothers name? DBGT treated him with more respect even though the fucker grew a mustache, cut his hair and drove his daughter around. Akira Toriyama said this movie was supposed to bring the series to it's DB roots. Which roots? The martial arts series with dirty comedy on the side? I didn't see it.
Praised be thy Goku. God Of Attention & Anti-Sociality.
Haha. Nope.
When drama and character development were a thing. And Gokuism wasn't.
Rating: D-
The nice visuals from the fight take almost an hour of pointlessness to get to and the lessons learned are broken just like the characterization. I seriously hope the sequel is better. Otherwise, hand things over to someone new, Akira. Want a good DBZ movie? Watch Worlds Strongest or Cooler's Revenge. But if you're a devout follower of Gokuism.... Well here you go. Worship away, he's officially a god now.
Coming up next:
Don't know what exactly I'll do next, but Legend Of Korra and ROH: Final Battle seem to be the most likely. If you've got suggestions, comments or recommendations, go ahead.
