klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Kingdom Come VI
Date: November 16, 2014
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Commentators: Jack Cohen, Sebastian Copeland, Cat Connor
For the love of all things good and holy don't let this become a tradition. I'm doing this show again and I've given up all hope of getting anything out of it by now. This is the biggest show of the year for WZCW, meaning they're now ripping off TNA. Let that sink in for a moment: we're now watching a ripoff of a ripoff. Anyway, I'm a bit more familiar with what's going on now so I won't be as lost. Let's get to it.
Great. There's a pre-show again.
We see the owner and three GM's (SERIOUSLY?) coming into the building. Much like the commentators, they all speak a single line at a time. They're like the agents from the Matrix.
We have an expert panel. So which one is Alex Riley? Apparently that would be Cohen, as he can't pronounce roughshod. They talk about a few of the matches before throwing it to a commercial for the network I'm watching this show on. At least they're ripping off bigger companies now.
Back with a long discussion about each match that I'm not going to bother recapping as I'm sure you get the point.
Battle Royal
Dorian Slaughter, Kagura Ohzora, Veejay, Jack O'Lantern, Hades, Joe Mason, Joey Sexton, Jimmy Wonder, Arashi, Masked Man
Winner is put into a ladder match for the vacant EurAsian title later on. Apparenty Arashi hates women and doesn't like the idea of Ohzora being in there with him. This earns him a kick to the face and a backdrop from the home country girl to make him the first elimination. The second is just as quick as Sexton sneaks up on her and gets dumped as well. Slaughter beats on Hades and knocks him out like the jobber he is.
A DDT drops both Jack and the masked dude, sending the latter rolling out to the floor. Veejay easily throws Wonder out and Kagura knees Mason to the floor as well, leaving us with five in the span of 90 seconds. Jack gets tossed as well, leaving Ohzora, Veejay, Slaughter and the masked dude. Ohzora gets double teamed in a hurry and is planted by a double suplex. As you would expect though, Veejay turns on Dorian with a hard shot to the face before firing off kicks to Ohzora's ribs.
Ohzora ducks a running boot in the corner but walks into a quick DDT from Slaughter. He picks up Veejay for a quick beating before trying to throw Ohzora out to the floor. The chick has some spunk though and hangs on for all she can until Veejay gets back up to nail Dorian. All three trade right hands until the masked man sneaks up to the top rope and dropkicks everyone at once (that's rather impressive).
Ohzora is back up first and throws the masked man out to the floor for an elimination, taking his mask in the process. It's.....some guy that was on the pre-show last year I believe named Paradyse. Not that it matters as he runs off, leaving Veejay to deck Ohzora from behind. A fireman's carry puts Ohzora on the apron but she hangs on to avoid an elimination.
With Ohzora on the apron, Slaughter charges with a forearm to the jaw but still can't knock her off. You don't tick off a Japanese wrestler though as she comes back with red mist to both guys. Ohzora comes back in and hits a double heart punch to put both guys out for the quick win.
Rating: D-. Yeah just do a triple threat next time. This went faster than the Gimmick Battle Royal from Wrestlemania X7 and really didn't need to have all these people out there. I can't imagine Ohzora wins the title tonight but she was pretty much the only person to do anything in this. Terrible match for the most part.
S.H.I.T. and Alhazred behead a stuffed dog. Uh....deep? Yes I know what Cerberus is.
More hype for the show to wrap things up.
We get some nice shots of most of the people on the show with a creepy voiceover talking about how tonight legends will be made when they Kingdome Come.
The opening video for the show is....very familiar. Now where have I seen that before? After a bunch of pyro we're ready to go.
All three members of Cerberus are in the back with Ramparte saying they'll win tonight and become the greatest stable in WZCW history. The Elite comes in and talks in the same one line each style of the commentators. They mock the idea of Cerberus winning tonight but Taylor gets in a jab at Burna. Constantine brings up Eve's loss recently but cooler heads (hotter in Eve's case but you get the idea) prevail.
Tag Team Titles: Cerberus vs. Hard Metal Penetration
Cerberus (Flex Mussel/Ramparte) is defending against Alhazred/S.H.I.T. The champs come out of two heads of a three headed dog for a cool visual. For some reason the challengers come out second, allowing the champs to get in cheap shots. Alhazred gets stomped down in the middle of the ring for two before Ramparte puts on a triangle choke. The champs double team in the corner before Ramparte kicks the robot off the apron to keep him a non-factor. A belly to belly and some knees to the head give Flex two on Alhazred as it's all Cerberus to start.
The champs keep up the double teaming with some nice stuff out of the Minnesota Wrecking Crew playbook (nice choice). Ramparte makes the mistake of going after S.H.I.T. again though and eats a right hand, sending him into a rollup from Alhazred for two. Alhazred crawls over for the tag but Flex is on the floor to pull the robot back to the floor. Flex isn't done as he loads up a powerbomb on the floor, only to have the robot slip down and kick Mussel in the face. There's no Alhazred to tag though as Ramparte plants him with a Burning Hammer.
The champs try more double teaming with an elevated double stomp from Ramparte but Alhazred rolls away, sending Ramparte crashing down to the mat in pain. The hot tag brings in S.H.I.T. to clean house with a knee to the face and a dragon screw leg whip to Ramparte's bad knee. S.H.I.T. slaps on a surfboard but Flex quickly breaks it up. He's smart enough to drag Ramparte over to the corner for a tag so he can gutwrench the robot for two.
S.H.I.T. pops back up for a German suplex followed by three clotheslines though as the challengers take over again. Back to Alhazred as Penetration loads up a springboard Doomsday Device, only to have Flex uppercut Haw....I mean Alhazred out of the air. A victory roll puts S.H.I.T. down for a top rope double stomp from Ramparte, whose knee really shouldn't be able to do that.
Ramparte goes back up for a dropkick to Alhazred but the robot chops the bad knee to crotch him on top. Flex takes a chop of his own as Ramparte staggers back to his feet and eats chops to the front and back of the head (which means he really needs to see a dentist to get rid of that second mouth). A Mandible Claw/LeBell Lock combo on the unconscious Ramparte give us new champions.
Rating: C. Nice tag match to open things up here and give the fans a feel good moment. Cerberus didn't feel like the most polished tag team in the world, even though they've had the belts for a good while now. S.H.I.T. played the Giant to Alhazred's Kevin Sullivan from the old Dungeon of Doom days here and the formula still works quite well, even though Cerberus aren't quite Anderson and Benoit.
The new champs celebrate.
Live Mas is in the back with Tastic getting ready for his match. Stormrage is just standing there as he only stretches for another taco. Mikey offers to be at ringside tonight but Matt wants to do it on his own. No tension is teased.
Eve Taylor vs. Aubrey Sloan
They used to be friends but Taylor got tired of Aubrey being an airhead and somehow getting a World Title shot, prompting her to join Cerberus. Eve does a rather sexy fur coat removal as we have Melina's paparazzi following her around. They talk a lot of trash to each other to start with Eve shouting that Aubrey is jealous. Aubrey takes her down with a headlock but gets caught in a headscissors to escape.
They trade some rollups for two each before they both grab a quick armbar. Those go nowhere so they get back up and yell at each other some more. Eve takes her down and messes with Aubrey's hair, only to have Sloan do the same to her, making Eve even angrier. Eve nails some knees to the ribs and plants Sloan with a backbreaker, followed by a kick to the back of Aubrey's head for two. Back up again and Aubrey nails Eve in the knee, setting up a German suplex for two more.
Aubrey knees Eve even more and knocks her outside. She loads up a suicide dive but Eve slides back in and tries a dive of her own, only to charge into a kick to the head. Aubrey loads up an Elevated DDT on the floor but gets sent face first into the apron instead. Back in and an STO gets two for Eve, followed up with some knee drops. Aubrey avoids the third though and cranks on something like a Boston crab. Eve is near the ropes but Aubrey swings around and puts on an ankle lock, drawing even more screaming from Taylor.
Eve finally gets to the ropes but Aubrey is waiting on her with a leg lariat for two. Back up again with Sloan loading up a brainbuster, only to get countered into a Fujiwara armbar. Ropes are quickly grabbed and Sloan comes up with slaps to the face. She takes Eve right back down for an STF but Eve pulls the referee towards her, allowing her to grab the ropes.
Back up again with Eve kicking her in the leg and nailing a kick to the face for a close two. Eve's Curb Stomp misses and Sloan kicks her head off. The arm is still too banged up for the brainbuster though so a suplex plants Eve down. Aubrey loads up a top rope splash but lands on knees, setting up another Fujiwara armbar to make Sloan tap.
Rating: C+. Not bad here with the girls beating each other up and some decent psychology with the arm work. I could have gone with more kicks from the martial artist and going after her legs instead of the arm but what they went with here was fine. They seemed like they wanted to hurt each other so it felt like it was a good blowoff to a feud.
Post match Aubrey is bleeding from the mouth and has to be looked at. It seems that she banged her face against Eve's knee on the splash. I don't see this ending well for her.
Becky Serra is in the back when the masked El Swago comes up and hits on her in Spanish. El Califa Dragon pops up and speaks some much better Spanish, sending Becky swooning and Swago into a fit. Cute. Becky, not the comedy.
Elite X Title: Constantine vs. El Califa Dragon
Constantine is defending and needs one more successful defense to earn a World Title shot. Dragon has the shot because his partner was injured, thereby forfeiting their Tag Team Title shot. We get a cool video for Constantine as he shoots six bullets from a revolver at the six people he's defeated so far. We get a quick ruling that the title is vacated if the match doesn't end via pinfall or submission. That makes sense all things considered.
The bell gets things going and Constantine argues with the referee like a good villain should. Califa, being a smart luchador, gets a quick two off a sunset flip, sending the champion out to the floor. Back in and Califa hooks a quick headscissors to send Constantine right back to the floor. A big plancha gets two and Califa is on fire to start. Dragon kicks him in the face and gets two more off a standing moonsault. Constantine finally avoids a charge in the corner and gets a breather.
Forearms hit the back, mudholes are stomped and the crowd is taunted as we get into the standard heel control segment. In a smart move, Constantine pulls Califa's mask around so the Dragon can't see or breathe. We hit the sleeper and Califa is in trouble, only to have him jawbreak his way to freedom. That's fine with Constantine who grabs an STF, sending Califa crawling over to the ropes for the break. A sidewalk slam and DDT get two each for the champ but his Angle Slam is countered into a rollup for two.
Califa nails a rolling kick to the face for two and fires off more strikes, only to miss a missile dropkick. Constantine grabs some rollups for two each (including one off the top for a nice move) and frustration has set in. Dragon comes right back with a curb stomp but a Phoenix splash hits knees for two. The champ has had enough and plants Califa with back to back spinning spinebusters to retain the title and get a World Title shot.
Rating: C. The problem here was most of the match was just trading moves with almost no flow to it. That's a constant problem in WZCW: they have almost no transitions between sequences, which make for some fast paced matches but leaves you feeling like you're out of breath halfway through the show.
Daddy Mack says he's retiring if he doesn't win the title.
ElegANT is scared by the headless dog. The janitors around here suck.
EurAsian Title: M. vs. Kagura Ohzora vs. Theron Daggershield vs. Daddy Mack vs. elegANT
Ladder match with the title vacant coming in. Theron has a bunch of big dice because he's a tabletop game player and Ohzora has a bunch of flowers because she's Japanese. We start fast with all five getting ladders and climbing at the same time. Ant gets his hands on the belt but that dastardly M knocks him down. We get a huge tug of war over the belt before everyone with male genitalia falls down, leaving Ohzora hanging onto the belt.
Ant gets back in to pull her down but is nice enough to catch her as she falls. So is Ohzora his queen? If so then she's rather evil as she flips him over, only to get nailed by the returning Theron. The guy with a hard last name to spell goes up but M jumps to the top of the ladder and uses his EVILY skinny legs to kick Theron down. Now it's Mack pulling Theron to the floor and whipping him into the barricade before heading back inside for a climb.
He steps on M, still stuck in the rungs, but has the ladder tipped over by Ohzora for a huge crash. M landed on his feet though and takes Ohzora down by the throat for a nice comeback. Ant comes back in with another ladder but uses it as a vault to dropkick M to the floor. Now he goes up, only to throw the ladder at Mack and Theron. They catch it before they get killed, but Ant uses it as a ramp to run up towards the belt in a nice move. In a scene reminiscent of Wile E. Coyote, they just drop the ladder, leaving Ant to fall down in a crash.
Mack kicks Theron in the face and backdrops him onto the ladder before doing an old man climb for the belt. Ohzora comes in for the save with a suplex but M drills her with a nice jumping uppercut. The villain goes up but poses on top of the ladder like a schmuck, allowing Theron to knock him off the ladder.
Theron sends Mack outside and goes up the ladder, only to get in a slugout with Ohzora on top. Ant bridges a ladder next to theirs and climbs but Mack tips Ant's ladder over, knocking the others down in the process. Mack climbs up alone but gets caught in a slugout of his own with M. The young hooligan tries a kick to the head, only to have Mack gorilla press him through Ant's ladder, allowing him to pull down the belt for the win.
Rating: C. I kind of hate matches like these as there are only so many new spots you can pull out. Those kind of moves are out there, but they didn't seem to be in this match. This felt like a ladder match for the sake of having a ladder match, but by definition it's hard to screw up one of these things. Not bad and a fun spotfest.
Leon Kensworth is in the back with...Matt Tastic? It doesn't look (and I would totally know this because I see him every time I watch WZCW) or sound like him but he insists it's really him. He drops his sunglasses though and leans down to pick him up, only to lose his hair and reveal Doug Crashin. This is another joke that I don't get.
Chris K.O. vs. Steven Holmes
Basically they're fighting over who is Ty Burna's favorite lap dog and maybe something about a volleyball because now they're ripping off films as well as other wrestling promotions. I still kind of like Holmes for just being a brutal villain. Chris bails to the floor to start and talks to the ball before coming back in for a beating from Holmes. After more talking to the volleyball, KO grabs a headlock to take over for the first time.
Holmes throws him off again and goes to the ribs before we play catch the volleyball. Going from the main event and a title match to a comedy match in a year can't be good signs for these guys. Holmes finally throws the ball down but runs into a knee and gets thrown outside for his efforts. A suplex on the floor has Steven in even more trouble before KO hits a kind of top rope bulldog for two.
They head back outside where KO whips him into the steps. Back in again for more stomping from Chris before he low bridges a charging Holmes to the floor. A BIG suicide dive sends Holmes over the announcers' table and gets two back inside. KO's superplex attempt is blocked and a top rope knee drop gets another two. Holmes can't hit the piledriver though and gets caught with a DDT for another near fall.
They head outside again (bad habit in this company) for a dropkick to send Holmes into the barricade. Back in and a top rope knee (second in the match) gets two for KO and we hit an armbar. Steven quickly fights out and tries a camel clutch but can't quite hook it. They slug it out until Holmes loads up another piledriver but gets countered into a running knee to the face ala Daniel Bryan for a quick pin.
Rating: D. From what I've heard there were some problems with this one and it's really easily to see. I'm not really digging K.O.'s insane/comedy schtick but I have a feeling it would come over better in promos instead of a match. This felt really slapped together and that's not something you want on the biggest show of the year.
Ty Burna and a chick named Serafina are creepy.
We actually get a nice package on Burna vs. Stormrage. It's a basic idea of veteran vs. young gun and the winner gets a future title shot. That opens up the possibilities of fighting friends or some other combination that isn't as interesting.
Ty Burna vs. Mikey Stormrage
Burna gets a HHH at Wrestlemania XXX style entrance which works quite well for someone who looks as creepy as he does. Mikey....has a pony themed entrance because he's strange like that. They walk to the middle of the ring with Ty slapping Mikey twice in a row. That's fine with the big man who takes Ty down and hammers away with the veteran in some trouble. Ty's mouth is busted a bit so he charges at Mikey and right into a hiptoss. Another hiptoss is followed by a side slam for one as Mikey is on a roll.
Mikey hammers away in the corner and rains down right hands, only to get caught in some snake eyes. A running knee to the face drops Stormrage and a Samoan drop gets two. Ty slaps on a Boston crab to put Mikey in trouble but he crawls over to the ropes. That's not cool with Burna as he tries the same thing again, only to get small packaged for two. They slug it out with Mikey getting the better of it and cross bodying both guys out to the floor. Ty is busted open even worse now and the blood is really flowing.
Both guys beat the count back in and it's Mikey driving shoulder in the corner. A running splash sets up an abdominal stretch from Mikey (who apparently doesn't notice THE BIG FREAKING CUT on Ty's head), complete with driving elbows to the ribs. I get that it sets up his finisher, but sometimes you need to go with the big red spot. The ref drops Ty's arm twice as Mikey lets go just enough for Burna to make the ropes. Kind of an odd sequence given who is face here.
Back up and Mikey misses a charge in the corner. He staggers around and eats a bicycle kick from Ty for a delayed two count. Ty pulls Mikey up but misses another kick to the head, allowing Mikey to nail Game Over for a very close two. They slowly pull each other up with Mikey nailing a standing splash to put Ty down. Stormrage misses a terrifying looking swanton and gets caught in a kind of triangle choke. Mikey is in big trouble and fights to get up but eventually collapses as the referee stops the match.
Rating: B-. It's a good match but I couldn't quite buy the guys being as spent as they were this fast. The kicking out of finishers was a nice touch but I only bought Burna as being in any real danger once. Mikey continues to not be able to win the big one and have issues against opponents with religious overtones. It's a good sign that there's such continuity for him but he needs to make the next step one day.
Mikey is put on a stretcher but slowly gets up and poses to a strong ovation as the rest of the Elite takes Ty out.
It's Hall of Fame time with Titus and Showtime David Cougar going in this year, inducted by Everest and Ty Burna respectfully. Titus' speech just thanks a bunch of people announces his candidacy for mayor of Keystone City, Kansas. On the other hand, Showtime has benign cancer. The fans aren't sure what to think of it so here are some soundbytes from some other wrestlers. Once the shock wears off a bit we get applause and that's it. These things are always hard to recap but they're cool to see.
Matt Tastic is ready.
WZCW World Title: The Beard vs. Matt Tastic
Beard won the title and immediately bailed ala AJ Styles, making Matt Tastic the Magnus of this company. Well minus winning the title in a Dixieland match. This is a battle over who's the real champion which is a story that is always going to work. Both guys get live entrance themes which is something you should have for a big show like this. Nice touch. Matt's entrance is rather cool as the title lowers down into his hands, which I don't think I've ever seen before. After the required Big Match Intros, we're ready to go.
They circle around to start with the smaller guy staying away from the monster like a smart hero should. We actually get a technical sequence with Tastic working on a headlock but getting countered into a hammerlock followed by a headlock takeover from the big guy. Back up and Beard takes him down with a waistlock, only to have Tastic pop back up and work on the arm.
Beard gets tired of this wrestling stuff though and throws Matt into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. He tosses the champ down to the mat before lifting him up by the throat with ease. Some strikes give Matt a breather but Beard just ends him with a belly to belly. More shots in the corner have Matt reeling but he nails a few shots to the head for another breather. A springboard kick to the face sends Beard outside and Tastic has his first momentum. He loads up a plancha but Beard catches him in midair and drives Matt into the post.
Back in and Matt hammers away with everything he's got and drops Beard with an ax handle. Again though Beard shrugs it off and kicks Matt's head off, setting up a legdrop for two. So this is now Savage vs. heel Hogan? Egads not Halloween Havoc 1996 all over again. Beard picks Matt up and throws him out to the floor but the champ lands on his feet. Beard follows him out and gets nailed by a clothesline off the announcers' table. He loads up a dive off the barricade but takes too long and gets sent face first into the barricade instead.
Beard breaks the count and loads up the announcers' table, only to have his own head slammed onto the wood. Matt bails back inside for a breather and goes up top for a high cross body but Beard catches him again. This time it's a fall away slam to put the champ down and Beard goes up top. That's not quite his forte though as Tastic crotches him down and loads up a hurricanrana, only to have Beard counter into a HUGE super bomb.
We still don't get a cover from the big man though as he steps on Matt's hands instead. They head back to the corner with Beard hammering away with elbows to the head and shoulders to the ribs. Matt staggers out of the corner and into a powerslam for a close two. Some kicks to the leg have Beard back against the ropes and a big enziguri gets one for the champ. They slug it out with Beard taking a big shot to the ribs for two.
The Headache Driver is countered (as always) but Matt nails a spinning backfist to the face. A spinwheel kick and the Screw Attack get two on Beard as Tastic is finally on a roll. Matt just goes off with right hands but a big headbutt staggers him. An even bigger boot and legdrop set up a big elbow drop. Beard splashes him in the corner and nails a side slam, followed by a Cross Rhodes for two. That's not quite what I pictured for his finisher.
Beard is livid and shoves the referee down. Cue Meltdown GM Vance Bateman with a chair for the big man. A hard shot to the ribs drops the champ but Beard wants to go up top. Again he takes too long though as Tastic pelts the chair at his head Sabu style. The Headache Driver is finally enough to keep the title on Matt.
Rating: B. This worked quite well with a good power vs. speed dynamic, but the GM stuff REALLY didn't need to be there. Unless they're setting up something for the future, Bateman was just a means to an end that could have been accomplished without him. I got into the idea of Matt trying all his usual stuff but not being able to get anywhere and Beard being so cocky because he's so used to destroying everyone. Good stuff here and a solid main event.
Tastic celebrates to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show was hit and miss. The wrestling was good enough for the most part but I never really bought into most of the stories. It felt like this show dipped into the Big Book Of Wrestling Stories and just went with the old standards instead of anything original or overly interesting. It's a passable show and decent enough, but this really didn't make me want to see what else is coming.
The problem here is none of the stories felt like it was coming to a major conclusion or was anything I really needed to see. Look at last year with the Sacrificial Altar vs. Strike Force. While that story had gone on for a long time, the match last year was the big blowoff and the complete end to the feud. While that may be the case with a lot of these stories, none of them felt big at all. As a stand alone show it's better but given that this is supposed to be the big culmination, it fell a bit flat for me.
There's still a lot that I like though. Stormrage and Constantine are still my two favorite characters around here and there are some interesting stories to be told on top. The biggest problem I see here is depth. There really aren't many people around at this point with a roster of maybe twenty five people. I'm not sure how, but you either need to bolster your roster or get some stories that are creative enough to cover up your weaknesses. It seems like that's what you were trying with Beard vs. Tastic, but that story almost never works as the guy leaving takes most of his momentum with him.
Instead of using ideas like that, I'd recommend thinking outside the box. Back in the early 80s, a weak roster brought along the Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl which restarted the territory. Get in some ideas that are over the top and a lot of the problems are covered up. Still though, what you had here wasn't bad, but it didn't feel all that epic. The World Title match was an upgrade over last year though and that's an important step.
Date: November 16, 2014
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Commentators: Jack Cohen, Sebastian Copeland, Cat Connor
For the love of all things good and holy don't let this become a tradition. I'm doing this show again and I've given up all hope of getting anything out of it by now. This is the biggest show of the year for WZCW, meaning they're now ripping off TNA. Let that sink in for a moment: we're now watching a ripoff of a ripoff. Anyway, I'm a bit more familiar with what's going on now so I won't be as lost. Let's get to it.
Great. There's a pre-show again.
We see the owner and three GM's (SERIOUSLY?) coming into the building. Much like the commentators, they all speak a single line at a time. They're like the agents from the Matrix.
We have an expert panel. So which one is Alex Riley? Apparently that would be Cohen, as he can't pronounce roughshod. They talk about a few of the matches before throwing it to a commercial for the network I'm watching this show on. At least they're ripping off bigger companies now.
Back with a long discussion about each match that I'm not going to bother recapping as I'm sure you get the point.
Battle Royal
Dorian Slaughter, Kagura Ohzora, Veejay, Jack O'Lantern, Hades, Joe Mason, Joey Sexton, Jimmy Wonder, Arashi, Masked Man
Winner is put into a ladder match for the vacant EurAsian title later on. Apparenty Arashi hates women and doesn't like the idea of Ohzora being in there with him. This earns him a kick to the face and a backdrop from the home country girl to make him the first elimination. The second is just as quick as Sexton sneaks up on her and gets dumped as well. Slaughter beats on Hades and knocks him out like the jobber he is.
A DDT drops both Jack and the masked dude, sending the latter rolling out to the floor. Veejay easily throws Wonder out and Kagura knees Mason to the floor as well, leaving us with five in the span of 90 seconds. Jack gets tossed as well, leaving Ohzora, Veejay, Slaughter and the masked dude. Ohzora gets double teamed in a hurry and is planted by a double suplex. As you would expect though, Veejay turns on Dorian with a hard shot to the face before firing off kicks to Ohzora's ribs.
Ohzora ducks a running boot in the corner but walks into a quick DDT from Slaughter. He picks up Veejay for a quick beating before trying to throw Ohzora out to the floor. The chick has some spunk though and hangs on for all she can until Veejay gets back up to nail Dorian. All three trade right hands until the masked man sneaks up to the top rope and dropkicks everyone at once (that's rather impressive).
Ohzora is back up first and throws the masked man out to the floor for an elimination, taking his mask in the process. It's.....some guy that was on the pre-show last year I believe named Paradyse. Not that it matters as he runs off, leaving Veejay to deck Ohzora from behind. A fireman's carry puts Ohzora on the apron but she hangs on to avoid an elimination.
With Ohzora on the apron, Slaughter charges with a forearm to the jaw but still can't knock her off. You don't tick off a Japanese wrestler though as she comes back with red mist to both guys. Ohzora comes back in and hits a double heart punch to put both guys out for the quick win.
Rating: D-. Yeah just do a triple threat next time. This went faster than the Gimmick Battle Royal from Wrestlemania X7 and really didn't need to have all these people out there. I can't imagine Ohzora wins the title tonight but she was pretty much the only person to do anything in this. Terrible match for the most part.
S.H.I.T. and Alhazred behead a stuffed dog. Uh....deep? Yes I know what Cerberus is.
More hype for the show to wrap things up.
We get some nice shots of most of the people on the show with a creepy voiceover talking about how tonight legends will be made when they Kingdome Come.
The opening video for the show is....very familiar. Now where have I seen that before? After a bunch of pyro we're ready to go.
All three members of Cerberus are in the back with Ramparte saying they'll win tonight and become the greatest stable in WZCW history. The Elite comes in and talks in the same one line each style of the commentators. They mock the idea of Cerberus winning tonight but Taylor gets in a jab at Burna. Constantine brings up Eve's loss recently but cooler heads (hotter in Eve's case but you get the idea) prevail.
Tag Team Titles: Cerberus vs. Hard Metal Penetration
Cerberus (Flex Mussel/Ramparte) is defending against Alhazred/S.H.I.T. The champs come out of two heads of a three headed dog for a cool visual. For some reason the challengers come out second, allowing the champs to get in cheap shots. Alhazred gets stomped down in the middle of the ring for two before Ramparte puts on a triangle choke. The champs double team in the corner before Ramparte kicks the robot off the apron to keep him a non-factor. A belly to belly and some knees to the head give Flex two on Alhazred as it's all Cerberus to start.
The champs keep up the double teaming with some nice stuff out of the Minnesota Wrecking Crew playbook (nice choice). Ramparte makes the mistake of going after S.H.I.T. again though and eats a right hand, sending him into a rollup from Alhazred for two. Alhazred crawls over for the tag but Flex is on the floor to pull the robot back to the floor. Flex isn't done as he loads up a powerbomb on the floor, only to have the robot slip down and kick Mussel in the face. There's no Alhazred to tag though as Ramparte plants him with a Burning Hammer.
The champs try more double teaming with an elevated double stomp from Ramparte but Alhazred rolls away, sending Ramparte crashing down to the mat in pain. The hot tag brings in S.H.I.T. to clean house with a knee to the face and a dragon screw leg whip to Ramparte's bad knee. S.H.I.T. slaps on a surfboard but Flex quickly breaks it up. He's smart enough to drag Ramparte over to the corner for a tag so he can gutwrench the robot for two.
S.H.I.T. pops back up for a German suplex followed by three clotheslines though as the challengers take over again. Back to Alhazred as Penetration loads up a springboard Doomsday Device, only to have Flex uppercut Haw....I mean Alhazred out of the air. A victory roll puts S.H.I.T. down for a top rope double stomp from Ramparte, whose knee really shouldn't be able to do that.
Ramparte goes back up for a dropkick to Alhazred but the robot chops the bad knee to crotch him on top. Flex takes a chop of his own as Ramparte staggers back to his feet and eats chops to the front and back of the head (which means he really needs to see a dentist to get rid of that second mouth). A Mandible Claw/LeBell Lock combo on the unconscious Ramparte give us new champions.
Rating: C. Nice tag match to open things up here and give the fans a feel good moment. Cerberus didn't feel like the most polished tag team in the world, even though they've had the belts for a good while now. S.H.I.T. played the Giant to Alhazred's Kevin Sullivan from the old Dungeon of Doom days here and the formula still works quite well, even though Cerberus aren't quite Anderson and Benoit.
The new champs celebrate.
Live Mas is in the back with Tastic getting ready for his match. Stormrage is just standing there as he only stretches for another taco. Mikey offers to be at ringside tonight but Matt wants to do it on his own. No tension is teased.
Eve Taylor vs. Aubrey Sloan
They used to be friends but Taylor got tired of Aubrey being an airhead and somehow getting a World Title shot, prompting her to join Cerberus. Eve does a rather sexy fur coat removal as we have Melina's paparazzi following her around. They talk a lot of trash to each other to start with Eve shouting that Aubrey is jealous. Aubrey takes her down with a headlock but gets caught in a headscissors to escape.
They trade some rollups for two each before they both grab a quick armbar. Those go nowhere so they get back up and yell at each other some more. Eve takes her down and messes with Aubrey's hair, only to have Sloan do the same to her, making Eve even angrier. Eve nails some knees to the ribs and plants Sloan with a backbreaker, followed by a kick to the back of Aubrey's head for two. Back up again and Aubrey nails Eve in the knee, setting up a German suplex for two more.
Aubrey knees Eve even more and knocks her outside. She loads up a suicide dive but Eve slides back in and tries a dive of her own, only to charge into a kick to the head. Aubrey loads up an Elevated DDT on the floor but gets sent face first into the apron instead. Back in and an STO gets two for Eve, followed up with some knee drops. Aubrey avoids the third though and cranks on something like a Boston crab. Eve is near the ropes but Aubrey swings around and puts on an ankle lock, drawing even more screaming from Taylor.
Eve finally gets to the ropes but Aubrey is waiting on her with a leg lariat for two. Back up again with Sloan loading up a brainbuster, only to get countered into a Fujiwara armbar. Ropes are quickly grabbed and Sloan comes up with slaps to the face. She takes Eve right back down for an STF but Eve pulls the referee towards her, allowing her to grab the ropes.
Back up again with Eve kicking her in the leg and nailing a kick to the face for a close two. Eve's Curb Stomp misses and Sloan kicks her head off. The arm is still too banged up for the brainbuster though so a suplex plants Eve down. Aubrey loads up a top rope splash but lands on knees, setting up another Fujiwara armbar to make Sloan tap.
Rating: C+. Not bad here with the girls beating each other up and some decent psychology with the arm work. I could have gone with more kicks from the martial artist and going after her legs instead of the arm but what they went with here was fine. They seemed like they wanted to hurt each other so it felt like it was a good blowoff to a feud.
Post match Aubrey is bleeding from the mouth and has to be looked at. It seems that she banged her face against Eve's knee on the splash. I don't see this ending well for her.
Becky Serra is in the back when the masked El Swago comes up and hits on her in Spanish. El Califa Dragon pops up and speaks some much better Spanish, sending Becky swooning and Swago into a fit. Cute. Becky, not the comedy.
Elite X Title: Constantine vs. El Califa Dragon
Constantine is defending and needs one more successful defense to earn a World Title shot. Dragon has the shot because his partner was injured, thereby forfeiting their Tag Team Title shot. We get a cool video for Constantine as he shoots six bullets from a revolver at the six people he's defeated so far. We get a quick ruling that the title is vacated if the match doesn't end via pinfall or submission. That makes sense all things considered.
The bell gets things going and Constantine argues with the referee like a good villain should. Califa, being a smart luchador, gets a quick two off a sunset flip, sending the champion out to the floor. Back in and Califa hooks a quick headscissors to send Constantine right back to the floor. A big plancha gets two and Califa is on fire to start. Dragon kicks him in the face and gets two more off a standing moonsault. Constantine finally avoids a charge in the corner and gets a breather.
Forearms hit the back, mudholes are stomped and the crowd is taunted as we get into the standard heel control segment. In a smart move, Constantine pulls Califa's mask around so the Dragon can't see or breathe. We hit the sleeper and Califa is in trouble, only to have him jawbreak his way to freedom. That's fine with Constantine who grabs an STF, sending Califa crawling over to the ropes for the break. A sidewalk slam and DDT get two each for the champ but his Angle Slam is countered into a rollup for two.
Califa nails a rolling kick to the face for two and fires off more strikes, only to miss a missile dropkick. Constantine grabs some rollups for two each (including one off the top for a nice move) and frustration has set in. Dragon comes right back with a curb stomp but a Phoenix splash hits knees for two. The champ has had enough and plants Califa with back to back spinning spinebusters to retain the title and get a World Title shot.
Rating: C. The problem here was most of the match was just trading moves with almost no flow to it. That's a constant problem in WZCW: they have almost no transitions between sequences, which make for some fast paced matches but leaves you feeling like you're out of breath halfway through the show.
Daddy Mack says he's retiring if he doesn't win the title.
ElegANT is scared by the headless dog. The janitors around here suck.
EurAsian Title: M. vs. Kagura Ohzora vs. Theron Daggershield vs. Daddy Mack vs. elegANT
Ladder match with the title vacant coming in. Theron has a bunch of big dice because he's a tabletop game player and Ohzora has a bunch of flowers because she's Japanese. We start fast with all five getting ladders and climbing at the same time. Ant gets his hands on the belt but that dastardly M knocks him down. We get a huge tug of war over the belt before everyone with male genitalia falls down, leaving Ohzora hanging onto the belt.
Ant gets back in to pull her down but is nice enough to catch her as she falls. So is Ohzora his queen? If so then she's rather evil as she flips him over, only to get nailed by the returning Theron. The guy with a hard last name to spell goes up but M jumps to the top of the ladder and uses his EVILY skinny legs to kick Theron down. Now it's Mack pulling Theron to the floor and whipping him into the barricade before heading back inside for a climb.
He steps on M, still stuck in the rungs, but has the ladder tipped over by Ohzora for a huge crash. M landed on his feet though and takes Ohzora down by the throat for a nice comeback. Ant comes back in with another ladder but uses it as a vault to dropkick M to the floor. Now he goes up, only to throw the ladder at Mack and Theron. They catch it before they get killed, but Ant uses it as a ramp to run up towards the belt in a nice move. In a scene reminiscent of Wile E. Coyote, they just drop the ladder, leaving Ant to fall down in a crash.
Mack kicks Theron in the face and backdrops him onto the ladder before doing an old man climb for the belt. Ohzora comes in for the save with a suplex but M drills her with a nice jumping uppercut. The villain goes up but poses on top of the ladder like a schmuck, allowing Theron to knock him off the ladder.
Theron sends Mack outside and goes up the ladder, only to get in a slugout with Ohzora on top. Ant bridges a ladder next to theirs and climbs but Mack tips Ant's ladder over, knocking the others down in the process. Mack climbs up alone but gets caught in a slugout of his own with M. The young hooligan tries a kick to the head, only to have Mack gorilla press him through Ant's ladder, allowing him to pull down the belt for the win.
Rating: C. I kind of hate matches like these as there are only so many new spots you can pull out. Those kind of moves are out there, but they didn't seem to be in this match. This felt like a ladder match for the sake of having a ladder match, but by definition it's hard to screw up one of these things. Not bad and a fun spotfest.
Leon Kensworth is in the back with...Matt Tastic? It doesn't look (and I would totally know this because I see him every time I watch WZCW) or sound like him but he insists it's really him. He drops his sunglasses though and leans down to pick him up, only to lose his hair and reveal Doug Crashin. This is another joke that I don't get.
Chris K.O. vs. Steven Holmes
Basically they're fighting over who is Ty Burna's favorite lap dog and maybe something about a volleyball because now they're ripping off films as well as other wrestling promotions. I still kind of like Holmes for just being a brutal villain. Chris bails to the floor to start and talks to the ball before coming back in for a beating from Holmes. After more talking to the volleyball, KO grabs a headlock to take over for the first time.
Holmes throws him off again and goes to the ribs before we play catch the volleyball. Going from the main event and a title match to a comedy match in a year can't be good signs for these guys. Holmes finally throws the ball down but runs into a knee and gets thrown outside for his efforts. A suplex on the floor has Steven in even more trouble before KO hits a kind of top rope bulldog for two.
They head back outside where KO whips him into the steps. Back in again for more stomping from Chris before he low bridges a charging Holmes to the floor. A BIG suicide dive sends Holmes over the announcers' table and gets two back inside. KO's superplex attempt is blocked and a top rope knee drop gets another two. Holmes can't hit the piledriver though and gets caught with a DDT for another near fall.
They head outside again (bad habit in this company) for a dropkick to send Holmes into the barricade. Back in and a top rope knee (second in the match) gets two for KO and we hit an armbar. Steven quickly fights out and tries a camel clutch but can't quite hook it. They slug it out until Holmes loads up another piledriver but gets countered into a running knee to the face ala Daniel Bryan for a quick pin.
Rating: D. From what I've heard there were some problems with this one and it's really easily to see. I'm not really digging K.O.'s insane/comedy schtick but I have a feeling it would come over better in promos instead of a match. This felt really slapped together and that's not something you want on the biggest show of the year.
Ty Burna and a chick named Serafina are creepy.
We actually get a nice package on Burna vs. Stormrage. It's a basic idea of veteran vs. young gun and the winner gets a future title shot. That opens up the possibilities of fighting friends or some other combination that isn't as interesting.
Ty Burna vs. Mikey Stormrage
Burna gets a HHH at Wrestlemania XXX style entrance which works quite well for someone who looks as creepy as he does. Mikey....has a pony themed entrance because he's strange like that. They walk to the middle of the ring with Ty slapping Mikey twice in a row. That's fine with the big man who takes Ty down and hammers away with the veteran in some trouble. Ty's mouth is busted a bit so he charges at Mikey and right into a hiptoss. Another hiptoss is followed by a side slam for one as Mikey is on a roll.
Mikey hammers away in the corner and rains down right hands, only to get caught in some snake eyes. A running knee to the face drops Stormrage and a Samoan drop gets two. Ty slaps on a Boston crab to put Mikey in trouble but he crawls over to the ropes. That's not cool with Burna as he tries the same thing again, only to get small packaged for two. They slug it out with Mikey getting the better of it and cross bodying both guys out to the floor. Ty is busted open even worse now and the blood is really flowing.
Both guys beat the count back in and it's Mikey driving shoulder in the corner. A running splash sets up an abdominal stretch from Mikey (who apparently doesn't notice THE BIG FREAKING CUT on Ty's head), complete with driving elbows to the ribs. I get that it sets up his finisher, but sometimes you need to go with the big red spot. The ref drops Ty's arm twice as Mikey lets go just enough for Burna to make the ropes. Kind of an odd sequence given who is face here.
Back up and Mikey misses a charge in the corner. He staggers around and eats a bicycle kick from Ty for a delayed two count. Ty pulls Mikey up but misses another kick to the head, allowing Mikey to nail Game Over for a very close two. They slowly pull each other up with Mikey nailing a standing splash to put Ty down. Stormrage misses a terrifying looking swanton and gets caught in a kind of triangle choke. Mikey is in big trouble and fights to get up but eventually collapses as the referee stops the match.
Rating: B-. It's a good match but I couldn't quite buy the guys being as spent as they were this fast. The kicking out of finishers was a nice touch but I only bought Burna as being in any real danger once. Mikey continues to not be able to win the big one and have issues against opponents with religious overtones. It's a good sign that there's such continuity for him but he needs to make the next step one day.
Mikey is put on a stretcher but slowly gets up and poses to a strong ovation as the rest of the Elite takes Ty out.
It's Hall of Fame time with Titus and Showtime David Cougar going in this year, inducted by Everest and Ty Burna respectfully. Titus' speech just thanks a bunch of people announces his candidacy for mayor of Keystone City, Kansas. On the other hand, Showtime has benign cancer. The fans aren't sure what to think of it so here are some soundbytes from some other wrestlers. Once the shock wears off a bit we get applause and that's it. These things are always hard to recap but they're cool to see.
Matt Tastic is ready.
WZCW World Title: The Beard vs. Matt Tastic
Beard won the title and immediately bailed ala AJ Styles, making Matt Tastic the Magnus of this company. Well minus winning the title in a Dixieland match. This is a battle over who's the real champion which is a story that is always going to work. Both guys get live entrance themes which is something you should have for a big show like this. Nice touch. Matt's entrance is rather cool as the title lowers down into his hands, which I don't think I've ever seen before. After the required Big Match Intros, we're ready to go.
They circle around to start with the smaller guy staying away from the monster like a smart hero should. We actually get a technical sequence with Tastic working on a headlock but getting countered into a hammerlock followed by a headlock takeover from the big guy. Back up and Beard takes him down with a waistlock, only to have Tastic pop back up and work on the arm.
Beard gets tired of this wrestling stuff though and throws Matt into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. He tosses the champ down to the mat before lifting him up by the throat with ease. Some strikes give Matt a breather but Beard just ends him with a belly to belly. More shots in the corner have Matt reeling but he nails a few shots to the head for another breather. A springboard kick to the face sends Beard outside and Tastic has his first momentum. He loads up a plancha but Beard catches him in midair and drives Matt into the post.
Back in and Matt hammers away with everything he's got and drops Beard with an ax handle. Again though Beard shrugs it off and kicks Matt's head off, setting up a legdrop for two. So this is now Savage vs. heel Hogan? Egads not Halloween Havoc 1996 all over again. Beard picks Matt up and throws him out to the floor but the champ lands on his feet. Beard follows him out and gets nailed by a clothesline off the announcers' table. He loads up a dive off the barricade but takes too long and gets sent face first into the barricade instead.
Beard breaks the count and loads up the announcers' table, only to have his own head slammed onto the wood. Matt bails back inside for a breather and goes up top for a high cross body but Beard catches him again. This time it's a fall away slam to put the champ down and Beard goes up top. That's not quite his forte though as Tastic crotches him down and loads up a hurricanrana, only to have Beard counter into a HUGE super bomb.
We still don't get a cover from the big man though as he steps on Matt's hands instead. They head back to the corner with Beard hammering away with elbows to the head and shoulders to the ribs. Matt staggers out of the corner and into a powerslam for a close two. Some kicks to the leg have Beard back against the ropes and a big enziguri gets one for the champ. They slug it out with Beard taking a big shot to the ribs for two.
The Headache Driver is countered (as always) but Matt nails a spinning backfist to the face. A spinwheel kick and the Screw Attack get two on Beard as Tastic is finally on a roll. Matt just goes off with right hands but a big headbutt staggers him. An even bigger boot and legdrop set up a big elbow drop. Beard splashes him in the corner and nails a side slam, followed by a Cross Rhodes for two. That's not quite what I pictured for his finisher.
Beard is livid and shoves the referee down. Cue Meltdown GM Vance Bateman with a chair for the big man. A hard shot to the ribs drops the champ but Beard wants to go up top. Again he takes too long though as Tastic pelts the chair at his head Sabu style. The Headache Driver is finally enough to keep the title on Matt.
Rating: B. This worked quite well with a good power vs. speed dynamic, but the GM stuff REALLY didn't need to be there. Unless they're setting up something for the future, Bateman was just a means to an end that could have been accomplished without him. I got into the idea of Matt trying all his usual stuff but not being able to get anywhere and Beard being so cocky because he's so used to destroying everyone. Good stuff here and a solid main event.
Tastic celebrates to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show was hit and miss. The wrestling was good enough for the most part but I never really bought into most of the stories. It felt like this show dipped into the Big Book Of Wrestling Stories and just went with the old standards instead of anything original or overly interesting. It's a passable show and decent enough, but this really didn't make me want to see what else is coming.
The problem here is none of the stories felt like it was coming to a major conclusion or was anything I really needed to see. Look at last year with the Sacrificial Altar vs. Strike Force. While that story had gone on for a long time, the match last year was the big blowoff and the complete end to the feud. While that may be the case with a lot of these stories, none of them felt big at all. As a stand alone show it's better but given that this is supposed to be the big culmination, it fell a bit flat for me.
There's still a lot that I like though. Stormrage and Constantine are still my two favorite characters around here and there are some interesting stories to be told on top. The biggest problem I see here is depth. There really aren't many people around at this point with a roster of maybe twenty five people. I'm not sure how, but you either need to bolster your roster or get some stories that are creative enough to cover up your weaknesses. It seems like that's what you were trying with Beard vs. Tastic, but that story almost never works as the guy leaving takes most of his momentum with him.
Instead of using ideas like that, I'd recommend thinking outside the box. Back in the early 80s, a weak roster brought along the Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl which restarted the territory. Get in some ideas that are over the top and a lot of the problems are covered up. Still though, what you had here wasn't bad, but it didn't feel all that epic. The World Title match was an upgrade over last year though and that's an important step.
