Jake's Online Diary

[Y 2 Jake]

Sunday 16th September

Woke up at about 6. Had an erection but declined *********ion. Watched Jerry Maguire instead. Got up after Jerry Maguire and rustled up some Marmite on toast. Went on WZ and answered my fan mail. Watched Hustle & Flow. Crap. Think I've watched it before. Came back on WZ. Posted and watched Man City vs. Villa.

I'll be staying up to watch Unforgiven later. So I'll watch some more films. Possibly Lords Of Dogtown and Premonition. For tea I'll probably have chips, beans & egg.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Wednesday 19th September

My TV at work has gone bust. So I had nothing to watch all day. I was on my own so I couldn't buy a new one soI read a book instead. It was called Soon I Will Be Invincible. And it was shit. That's it. Nothing else. Bye.

 

[C.M.]

what happened to your diary from the 16th to the 19th?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Nothing. Went work. Worked at work. Cooked a bit. Had a few cups of tea. Did a bit of cleaning. Watched a few films. Watched some wrestling. That's about it.

 

[X]

I'm on the edge of my seat in anticipation for your next entry Jake.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

It'll be a good one tomorrow. Visiting the rat infested shop in the morning. Dentist in the afternoon. You need to read thsi shit.

At least I dont pretend that my ''blog'' is intresting like most people do.

 

[Freedom 35]

It'll be a good one tomorrow. Visiting the rat infested shop in the morning. Dentist in the afternoon. You need to read thsi shit.

At least I dont pretend that my ''blog'' is intresting like most people do.

for real people think other people are interesdted in what they have to say except in youre case then I cant wait to hear about your dentist appointment

 

[X]

I hope you get a root canal you saucy bastard. I want full descriptions about what hallucinations you saw when the Doc gave you the happy gas.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Do people still get gas? I usually get a big fuck of needle. Hate gas. It made that whole experience of getting my spleen removed uncomfortable.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Thursday 20th September

Went the dentist and had nothing done. Big Jake has good oral hygene.

Visited my rat infested shop today. The Rentokil bloke is useless. His traps didn't get any rats. Mine got loads.

Jake's How To Catch Rats In 8 Easy Steps:

#1 Get some poison
#2 Get a Mars bar
# 3 Get some card about a meter in length and width
#4 Get some glue
#5 Coat the card board in glue. The sort that stays sticky if you dont stick it to anything
#6 Place the poison and Mars on a tray in the middle of the sticky cardboard
#7 Wait a few days
#8 Go back to the shop and discover loads of dead rats stuck to the card.

Brilliant or what?

 

[Mexican Geek]

Why dont you bring Homicide to the store? (Is that the name of your Cat, isn't it?) He could do all the work. You should ask for a refund to Rentokil for sure!
Cannot wait to read your next entry; I like your style,(short and concise, you cant care less about what other people thinks, example: Your store has a rat infestation. A lot of people would freak out if they'd mention that they found a rat in their backyards, *****es.) i might apply it for my Blog, if it's ok with that.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Friday 21st September

DAY

Didn't do nothing. Saving myself for the evening.

 

[RVDgurl]

Isn't tomorrow the day for your long awaited potential threesome? If this is correct, then you better rest up tonight as well so you are well prepared for the upcoming activities. Threesomes seem like alot work, ya know. You better be ready.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

No that's tonight.

 

[RVDgurl]

Oh.... well then.... you do need to rest up my dear! Good luck in your endeavors tonight. Don't let me down.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I'm ready. I've drained the snake so there be no premature accidents. I've shaved, I've been in the gym loads, dentists yesterday. No spicy food today. I'm ready.

 

[RVDgurl]

I'm ready. I've drained the snake so there be no premature accidents. I've shaved, I've been in the gym loads, dentists yesterday. No spicy food today. I'm ready.

You are well prepared. I will live vicariously through you. Have at it.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

Threesomes seem like alot work, ya know. You better be ready.

While I can't explain with any truth on this to be true or not.. I somehow can't see threesomes as being anymore of a work load than a one-on-one encounter. I mean, in a threesome, you can "tag out" if you get too tired. And what two females would be in a threesome if they weren't bi to begin with? So I don't see why Jake can't take a breather & allow a little female interaction.

 

[Mexican Geek]

Hey Jake, dont forget some chewing gum.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Turns out I do have morals.

 

[X]

Morals? They're overrated. Who were you going to have a threesome with?

I hate morals. Go immorality, go!

 

[RVDgurl]

Turns out I do have morals.

You didn't do it, did you?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Morals? They're overrated. Who were you going to have a threesome with?

I hate morals. Go immorality, go!

A female friend and one of her mates. She was a big grizzly though so I declined.

Turns out the only hot women who have threesomes are porn atars.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

You didn't do it, did you?

When are you coming England? December wasn't it?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Sunday 23rd September

Watched Eight Below and Fearless on DVD. Both wank. Watched a bit of wrestling as usualy. Currently watching Man Utd vs. Chelsea. And I've just deleated all my PM's. About 400 of them.

Great day all round. Better than yesterdays all day hangover.