If you

Hmmmmm. Well, I would be mint-chocolate. I would end up eating myself and get a cavity, and since I'm half eaten I would be in no state to drive. I would phone up the elephant, who would be in the middle of a game of poker with said giraffe, and they would quickly come to my aid, taking me to the dentist and saving the day. Even though I remain half eaten.
 

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