One of those religious folk with special powers anyway, Bhudda perhaps, or even the King of The Mormons. I'll tell you why, yesterday at work as I was digging away, something rolled across my shovel, due to my ultra keen eyesight and reflexes (no doubt religiously so) I was able to see and catch it. On closer inspection it was a Salamander, and it wasnt moving, it was also ice cold, it really was like holding an ice cube.
Now, I went to discard this poor creature, but then I thought better of it, instead holding it in my hand for a while (also while being shouted at for not working, but the life of a small creature is more important than progress, let no one tell you otherwise, besides, what kind of Messiah would I be if I am not persecuted by those I seek to help) and soon, the little critter started kicking its legs slightly, death spasms I told myself, but deep down I knew that I had brought it back from the dead. I was proved right eventually, as it was upright and crawling around in my hand. it gave me a polite nod, from one craftsman to another and left.
So I went back to work (still being screamed at by my inconsiderate cunt of a boss) and it went its own way. Later on I spotted it again, it was being harrassed by a cat, the cat was treading on it, letting it go and crawl away, then treading on it again. Enraged by the cruel treatment of this species, but not being allowed to leave my area to chase the cat, and none of the others taking my pleas seriously, I got a stone from the ground and threw it at that cats head (cats move quickly mind, and unfortunately it didnt get hit.) Now my boss, cat loving wanker that he is, and therefore a heathen, calls me over, to scream at me some more. I told him that "Salamanders are an endangered species, while those little shits (aka cats) are plentiful in number. Besides had I killed it I would've just brought it back from the dead anyway. Like I did with that Salamander."
So now, due to my powers, I have saved a life, and dont have to go to work for the rest of the week, possibly ever, although I am sure I'll get called back again on Monday, I usually do whenever my boss tells me to leave and never come back. Good Messiah's are hard to come by after all.
Be excellent to each other.
Now, I went to discard this poor creature, but then I thought better of it, instead holding it in my hand for a while (also while being shouted at for not working, but the life of a small creature is more important than progress, let no one tell you otherwise, besides, what kind of Messiah would I be if I am not persecuted by those I seek to help) and soon, the little critter started kicking its legs slightly, death spasms I told myself, but deep down I knew that I had brought it back from the dead. I was proved right eventually, as it was upright and crawling around in my hand. it gave me a polite nod, from one craftsman to another and left.
So I went back to work (still being screamed at by my inconsiderate cunt of a boss) and it went its own way. Later on I spotted it again, it was being harrassed by a cat, the cat was treading on it, letting it go and crawl away, then treading on it again. Enraged by the cruel treatment of this species, but not being allowed to leave my area to chase the cat, and none of the others taking my pleas seriously, I got a stone from the ground and threw it at that cats head (cats move quickly mind, and unfortunately it didnt get hit.) Now my boss, cat loving wanker that he is, and therefore a heathen, calls me over, to scream at me some more. I told him that "Salamanders are an endangered species, while those little shits (aka cats) are plentiful in number. Besides had I killed it I would've just brought it back from the dead anyway. Like I did with that Salamander."
So now, due to my powers, I have saved a life, and dont have to go to work for the rest of the week, possibly ever, although I am sure I'll get called back again on Monday, I usually do whenever my boss tells me to leave and never come back. Good Messiah's are hard to come by after all.
Be excellent to each other.
