I am going to do a top ten worst themes, starting now.
10. Jim Ross' theme.
- I love Jim Ross, I have respect for him and all but his theme song is silly. Only because he is so tremendous as a commentator do I still take him seriously but when that song starts, I kinda' just wanna' laugh. Instead though, I cringe, lower my TV, and either fast forward or just do something to help the time go faster so I don't have to deal with the bad entrance.
09. JBL's theme.
- Fits his character well, but his character is an annoying douche bag, and that song with that random cow moo'ing and crap, is just.. bothersome.
08. Birtish Bulldog's theme
- This song just continues on, one of the loudest and busiest theme songs of all time. Just bangs in your ear, feels like I've been listening to it for hours after two minutes. It's annoying.
07. 3MB
- "IT'S THE THREE MAN BAAAAND!" Oh please shut the Hell up. Perfect jobber thing, can'ot get the crowd pumped, it's annoying and bland.
06. Los Matadores
- The "OLE!" and the stock hard salsa music that plays them to the ring in the most generic "We're a latin tag team" really gets on my nerves. I hate that theme song, very much.
05. Perry Saturn's theme/Cesaro's theme
- I actually really dislike Cesaro's other themes as well, but this new one reminds me a lot of Perry Saturn's theme song from the attitude era. Just that loud piercing alarm sound. I mean, it's cool if it happens only once but in Saturn's theme it just continues on. THAT'S NOT MUSIC! IT'S A NOISE! AN ANNOYING NOISE! Whose idea it was to put that on there? Like DAMN!
04. Al Snow's theme
- WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT?! For your entrance to be just a little bit shorter. Your theme song is awful. Shut up.
03. (This is a controversal pick..) The Undertaker's theme
- The Undertaker is one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, and his entrance is probably one of the best entrances of all time, but when he comes on now.. I go take a crap, or cook some soup and put a drink in the freezer to get it nice and cool, and then I sit back by my TV about 10 minutes later when his entrance starts, only to still hear the same thing tune play for another 2 minutes. I get it, it's creepy, it's slow, but I can't imagine hearing that theme like every week if he had a match on every Raw or something. It would annoy the crap out of me. It's not creepy anymore, WWE. We know who the Undertaker is. He has a goofy ass haircut, and he's older. We don't need the creep factor. Someone change the theme up like they did before, like to a Johnny Cash song or something, but his usual Rest In Peace theme.. I HATE IT!
02. All the WWE Diva's
- Except for Kharma, Lita, Paige, Emma, Alicia Fox's theme awhile back, Chyna's, and possibly Stephanie McMahon's old theme, I have to say that every single diva's theme, in the history of theme songs, are all the worst. Any woman with an entrance music can be considered number one for my most hated theme music, but then there is just one song that beats them all. Just one song that is so damn terrible, that no diva's theme, and no one else's theme can possibly measure up to the pure agony of this particular theme ...
01. RIGHT. TO. CENSOR!
- Just.. go listen to it. It.. is torture.
Let's get this out there to begin with, good as Jim Johnston is, themes are better when they are legit musicians and they pony up for some rights... Adam Rose with World Gone Wild compared to what he has now is a good case in point.
JR's theme was the Oaklahoma Sooners march and fit him perfectly due to his connection with the team, the state and actual fans themselves. "Good Ol' JR" fit a marching band great.
Your point on the Bulldog is shite... utter shite... Rule Britannia is the considered national anthem of England (not the UK which is of course God Save the Queen) and lets get another point clear, use of classical music actually raises your credibility and entrance. Flair using Also Sprach Zarathusa by Strauss, Bryan using Ride of the Valkyries and even Triple H at one point using Beethovens Ode To Joy elevated their characters and became part of them, just as Rule Britannia was for Davey... he was coming to the ring draped in his flag for gods sake, when he went to Johnson generic rock crap he lost so much...
JBL I kinda agree cos it wasn't a great attempt at faux classical but it did fit the "Long Horn" gimmick, that he was basically a cowboy made good and it did have echoes of the Dallas theme, which of course JR Ewing was the major inspiration for the character.
Right To Censor WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ANNOYING... cos THEY WERE... JUST LIKE THESE CAPS!
Diva's you are missing one out that DID work well, Victoria's use of "All The Things She Said" by Tatu. The way it was edited in a way that fit the character and again it was a current #1 song in some countries.
Where WWE gets it wrong so often is trying to come up with generic stuff that sounds like something rather than just ponying up some cash for the real thing... Cesaro's themes in general have been random to say the least, but his first was a clear, blatant instrumental knock off of "Chelsea Dagger" by the Fratellis, to the point it didn't fit a heel but as a face, the original song would have been perfect for him with it's singalong chorus... or even Adam Rose who now would fit that so perfect as the singing in his theme is ripped off the same song. It would have been cheap as this was not a massive band... but they did it cheaper and it didn't work.
When you do a theme that isn't the real thing, the wrestler doesn't look like the real thing but when you do it right and spend a bit of cash it makes a massive difference. When "Cult of Personality" first crackled into WWE the crowd erupted and it became as much a part of Punk as his tatts, wrist tape or ring persona. More recently an unknown Brit has made a massive impact with a song, sure WWE bought it, renamed it but Mark Crozer is arguably the 4th Wyatt... so much of the success Bray has had comes from finding the right theme for him rather than letting Jim Johnson write it. By the way I am a Music Marketer and singer so I do know a bit about this.
The worst themes I personally remember are The Steiners in 93 - again a "collegiate march" but not a real one, it was a WWE crap version of one and it didn't fit the Steiners at all. Indeed that period was just bad, using a duet of "We're Not The Mounties" is one thing cos it's meant to be bad but Bam Bam Bigelow, Lex Luger, The Owen Hart Boogie (which was so random it was awful) Razor Ramon (come on guys it's a bad theme, it does nothing at all) and even Diesel all suffered from generic, bad quality themes... now try the same 5 guys with these songs (maybe instrumental) or artists instead.
Bam Bam - Suicidal Tendencies or Motorhead - Institutionalised might fit
Lex Luger - Born In the USA - Luger coming out to that was almost a no brainer but they gave him some stupid theme that didn't fit him.
Razor Ramon - Something by Santana
Owen Hart - Baba O Reily - The Who - Lyrically it fit Owen's delusions and was anthemic enough it would have annoyed people... and the theme he got was so clearly based off the keyboard intro for this they may as well have used it.
Diesel - Five To One - The Doors/Scott Weiland or even the one they ended up using for Dan Severn later on...
Those are just ideas, but all would do the same thing but give credibility the characters missed at the time cos the themes just didn't quite fit.
Some times 2nd and 3rd goes work. Marc Mero's first theme was awful, then came the TKO theme and it was far better... Trips first theme was awful, then came the Ludvig Van which helped inform the "degenerate" in him (it was a great nod to Clockwork Orange most missed) then it went poor again before they ponied up for Motorhead.
