Some of you may be aware of Killjoy's unfortunate dilemma. As a Mexican, he doesn't understand humor as well as he understands how to perform domestic services and manual labor, but he still tries very hard to be funny. I have cringed at his horrible jokes for too long, and I will now teach him how to be funny!
Lesson 1: Pop Culture References
Being funny is a rare gift from God, a gift that he seems to have given mostly to Jews, probably to make up for the numerous genocides and holy wars they have suffered through. Luckily for you goyem, some of those Jews went on to write and produce TV shows and movies that are ripe with hilarious jokes for you to recycle. This strategy is quite useful, because people who get the references will laugh and appreciate your memory for movie and television lines, and the people who don't get the references will laugh at the sheer hilariousness of the original joke.
Timing is everything when it comes to dropping these one liners. Speak too early, and your audience might not have had the time to make the connection to your joke and the event it is in reference to. Speak too late, and your audience will have moved on from the event you're referencing, leaving you with a room full of polite laughs that leave you feeling rejected and very unfunny.
Here are some examples of comedic television and movie lines you can use in every day life.
If you are at a restaurant, bar, coffee shop, party, or any where people may be eating or drinking, and you spot someone that is having a particularly good time, you can say (loud enough for most people to hear), "I'll have what's she's having." Make sure you deliver this line somewhat casually, but with an air of sincerity.
If a very emotional person addresses you and a group of peers, you should wait until that person leaves the area before you say, "I think he/she needs to switch to decaf!"
If a friend or family member is acting uncharacteristically, a common yet hilarious line to respond to the situation with is, "Who are you and what have you done with (the person you are addressing)!?" This line should be delivered as a slightly serious question, but with some joviality to it.
Of course, you don't only have to quote comedies. You can use quotes from all types of movies.
If someone is trying to convince you to do something that you already wanted to do, you can quote the romantic Jerry Maguire line, "You had me at hello."
If someone offers you something or invites you somewhere, and you have no interest in accepting their offer/invitation, you can reply with a dramatic line from Gone With the Wind, "Quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
If someone asks you for the truth, you can quote A Few Good Men with, "You can't handle the truth!" It is not recommended you use this joke when your significant other questions you about why you've been spending so much time with the neighbor's daughter.
These are just a few of the many movie and television quotes that you could use to be a funnier person. Try a few when you find the timing is right, or use a few of your own personal favorites.
Next week's lesson: Ripping off standup bits and claiming that they're your own original thoughts.
Lesson 1: Pop Culture References
Being funny is a rare gift from God, a gift that he seems to have given mostly to Jews, probably to make up for the numerous genocides and holy wars they have suffered through. Luckily for you goyem, some of those Jews went on to write and produce TV shows and movies that are ripe with hilarious jokes for you to recycle. This strategy is quite useful, because people who get the references will laugh and appreciate your memory for movie and television lines, and the people who don't get the references will laugh at the sheer hilariousness of the original joke.
Timing is everything when it comes to dropping these one liners. Speak too early, and your audience might not have had the time to make the connection to your joke and the event it is in reference to. Speak too late, and your audience will have moved on from the event you're referencing, leaving you with a room full of polite laughs that leave you feeling rejected and very unfunny.
Here are some examples of comedic television and movie lines you can use in every day life.
If you are at a restaurant, bar, coffee shop, party, or any where people may be eating or drinking, and you spot someone that is having a particularly good time, you can say (loud enough for most people to hear), "I'll have what's she's having." Make sure you deliver this line somewhat casually, but with an air of sincerity.
If a very emotional person addresses you and a group of peers, you should wait until that person leaves the area before you say, "I think he/she needs to switch to decaf!"
If a friend or family member is acting uncharacteristically, a common yet hilarious line to respond to the situation with is, "Who are you and what have you done with (the person you are addressing)!?" This line should be delivered as a slightly serious question, but with some joviality to it.
Of course, you don't only have to quote comedies. You can use quotes from all types of movies.
If someone is trying to convince you to do something that you already wanted to do, you can quote the romantic Jerry Maguire line, "You had me at hello."
If someone offers you something or invites you somewhere, and you have no interest in accepting their offer/invitation, you can reply with a dramatic line from Gone With the Wind, "Quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
If someone asks you for the truth, you can quote A Few Good Men with, "You can't handle the truth!" It is not recommended you use this joke when your significant other questions you about why you've been spending so much time with the neighbor's daughter.
These are just a few of the many movie and television quotes that you could use to be a funnier person. Try a few when you find the timing is right, or use a few of your own personal favorites.
Next week's lesson: Ripping off standup bits and claiming that they're your own original thoughts.
