• Xenforo Cloud has scheduled an upgrade to XenForo version 2.2.16. This will take place on or shortly after the following date and time: Jul 05, 2024 at 05:00 PM (PT) There shouldn't be any downtime, as it's just a maintenance release. More info here

Hit or Miss: Healthy Coping Skills

LSN80

King Of The Ring
Being able to cope for all of us are an essential part of life. We all live with the burdens of school, work, finances, and family, amongst a myriad of other things. Without outlets, or coping mechanisms, what would we do? Heck, for all I know, if I didn't have the outlets I did, my wife may have left me a long time ago, because I may have taken all my stuff out on her! As anyone who is married or in a relationship knows, we inevitably wind up taking our baggage from day to day out on them anyway, so imagine how we would be if we didn't have things in place to help us get through?

Anyway, the purpose of this thread is to discuss the positive coping mechanisms you employ in your life. I'll leave this up to your discretion: There are no wrong answers here. What I may perceive as a positive coping mechanism for myself may be one that would be a negative one for you, making your situation worse then it does better. So that's the goal here: Identifying what coping mechanisms assist in making your life an easier one to live.

One last thing before we start: Once you've identified a coping mechanism that really works, it becomes like an addiction to many. When barriers arise that prevent us from using our tried and true mechanism, it's important to have backupo mechanisms in life that also work, even if it's to a lesser extent. There will be situations that arise in life that prevent us from using our top coping mechanisms, so identifying secondary ones is crucial in this world.

My suggestion for this thread: See if you can identify several, in order of success. Tell me (1)why coping mechanism "A" works for you, (2)if there have been times when it's been unavailable to you and why, and (3) what your backup mechanisms are.

Or, you can just talk about the ones that work for you if you don't want to go into detail. I'll start.

1. Exercise: Since my junior year in college, Ive been a runner. I started based on criticism: My mom told me that if I didn't lose weight, I wouldn't be able to fit into my tuxedo for my twin sister's wedding. Thanks, Mom! Anyway, my college girlfriend ran track, so she offered to let me start running with her. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it, and I wound up stop running with her when I began to outpace her and run longer distances. Ten years later, having added weightlifting to the mix, there's nothing in this world that works better for me. I can come home angry, sad, frustrated, or just plain stressed, but an hour in my exercise room and the stress melts away, and I feel much more equipped to move on from the day, and enjoy the rest of my evening.

Unfortunately, I had severe knee surgery back in October, and I've been unable to exercise since in any way. No running, no weightlifting, no walking even. It's frustrating having all of these things in my house, and not being able to use them. Fortunately, as I've suggested everyone has, I have backup things.

2. Sex: Seems quite shallow, right? I don't think so! Being married, my wife and I know how important this is to sustaining our relationship(amongst many other things), and it's also a great stress reliever. I can't begin to get into how many fights have been shortened and looked back on by both of us as "silly" when we've stopped fighting in favor of physical pursuits. The best part of it has been this: Since my knee surgery, my wife has realized that my stress level is higher, and despite being pregnant, she's been willing to help me out in this area of stress relief on a more frequent basis. I actually enjoy this more then I do exercise(ya think?:) ), but exercise if available far more readily, so that's why it tops my list.

Unfortunately, there are snags with this as well. My wife is now at 8 months in terms of being pregnant, so sex is pretty much out of the question right now between her pregnancy and my slowly healing knee.

3. Conversation: Such a funny thing, isn't it? You look at things like sex or exercise and can easily see how those things would be stress relievers, but how often do we forget about things like conversation? Over the past year, due to health difficulties for both us, I've learned more about my wife then I did in our first three years of marriage, combined. And I've enjoyed every second of us. Likes, dislikes, ways to make her laugh, future dreams, and what makes her tick were things I thought I had a great understanding of before, but I've realized I previously just hit the tip of the iceberg. And Ive enjoyed every night over the past year Ive stayed up waaaaayyyyy later then I should have, talking and laughing as we did when we first met. As much as i enjoy sex, this may be more important to the relationship, and it's certainly a great stress reliever for me.

I could on, as I have more, such as this plac, good Ol' Wrestlezone. But you get the picture, and so I turn it over to you:

What is your go-to coping skill when you're stressed? Why does it work for you?

If that is unavailable for one reason or another, do you have backup skills you turn to? What are they?
 
When I get stressed I often need an escape from reality, video games are a great help there. I have clocked in countless hours of Tetris while listening to stuff like Nightwish or Linkin Park when I find myself so stressed that I need a brief vacation from life.

Playing with the puppies often helps too. My two crazy little dudes, Lancelot and Sheamus (yes he is named after WWE's Sheamus) are 10 month old pups who love to play whether it is tug or fetch. It is dang near impossible to not smile when they wag their little tails in excitement around me. No matter how upset I am.

Finally, when all else fails there is always snacking. I find myself taking a walk if I have had a long day. Going down to the gas station for gummies and a chocolate bar is a big help. Then I eat my snacks while walking around my apartment complex, often with the pups and sometimes with the wifey too. There is a gazebo with a nice view of the courtyard. I love sitting there to relax.

The bottom line is this.... No matter how upset you are, there is always a way to cope with stress because we all have activities we enjoy relaxing with and people who care about us. In the rare moments where snacking, gaming, the dogs, and a walk all fail to cheer me up.... I am married and that relationship comes with its own form of stress relief. ;)
 
My first instinct is to be the University of Michigan Wolverines and pound the living shit out of Ohio State in a game of NCAA Football on the Playstation...The satisfaction I get running up the score, sometimes into the 140s (on All-American difficulty) usually calms me down, as in doing so, I have vented out a lot of that pent up stress.

I might also try to listen to some of my more mellow MP3s if I am feeling stressed. Slow it down a little. Maybe instead of playing Van Halen, Led Zepplin or Ozzy, I put on the Eagles, Fleetwood Mac or something...if that doesn't work, I go OLD old school, and listen to some Mozart or Beethoven. It's the emotional content of the song that calms me down, and pieces with good strings in it draw me in.

A few songs work especially well for me, none more so than pretty much any version of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah. Doesn't matter which version. That melody puts me almost into a trance. I have a compulsion to listen to it, shut everything else out, and I cannot stay agitated after listening to it. It's actually kind of scary how quickly that song works. It's like a hypnotic trigger or something.
 
For me, it's exercise. Specifically, the Stairmaster at the local health club, where you can find me 5 mornings a week. Sometimes, I'll use one of the other aerobic machines, but it's become a part of everyday life to use a step machine and get the benefit you earn by going as hard as you can.

Several years ago, Bally's Fitness issued a campaign employing the adage that "A body in motion tends to stay in motion." I've found it to be true; I don't feel right on a day I don't make my regularly scheduled visit to the club. I've found you don't need religion to "guilt" you into (or out of) a behavior...... failure to follow an exercise ritual will do just as nicely. You make it a part of your daily routine and everything stays in it's proper place.

When you're working the machine, you can keep your eyes closed and visual anything you want, which is something you can't do when running a road, since you need to see where you're going. But when you self-hypnotize in this manner, the time you spend on the step machine goes so fast you complete the exercise before you know it. When you stop, you're perspiring and spent, your heart is pumping........and stress has melted away, leaving you in better shape for all the other stuff you need to deal with that day.
 
Mine are quite basic and dull to be honest.

If I get stressed in the work place by a certain customer, I'll keep my composure as much as I can and then after they are dealt with I'll nip out the back for a quick smoke break. Sometimes someone else is out there who I can briefly rant to and just let the anger out but if no-one else is out there then I can just mutter to myself and calm down. Smoking can be quite centering at times so to have those few minutes are sometimes all that are needed.

In general, going for a walk and listening to music is a pretty safe trick too as long as it's the right kind of music. I've had times before where I'll go stomping out and get agitated that I can't settle on a certain artist/genre/style of music to listen to and get in even more of a grump!

Related to music, I sometimes sing very quietly to myself when driving. During lessons I would maybe get a few basic things wrong in a row and need to relax myself, so would think of a gentle song with nice lyrics and just hum or softly sing them over and over to take my mind off the mistakes I was making and re-focus.
 
Regardless of what has happened or where, the best thing to help me get through the difficult/stressful time is having someone to vent/talk to. In person helps a lot more, but even texting a friend can be effective. Just having someone who is willing to listen and let me go on a big rant so I can feel better in a few minutes. I can say that some nurse or PCT was a complete ass and then go about my business feeling better.

When I don't have someone I can talk to, listening to music is second on the list. I've always got my iPod on at work so that I stay sane. But if something is bugging me, I kinda check out from my surroundings and just focus on the music playing, listen to the lyrics, sounds of the instruments, and just let my mind flow. Flashback to times where I was having a blast, such as my internship, concerts, or even just having fun while hanging out with friends.

Those two definitely help me cope through my stressful days. I'd be boned without either.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

No members online now.

Forum statistics

Threads
174,827
Messages
3,300,736
Members
21,726
Latest member
chrisxenforo
Back
Top