Hit or Miss: Change one Thing

[LSN80]

And I'm not asking you to be introspective and look at what you would change about yourself here.

As I touched on in the "Don't Ever Change" thread, we all have significant others of some kind in our lives. It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship, it just involves the most important person in our lives. In the last thread, I asked about the one quality in your wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, best friend, or family member that you hope would never change. Here, I'm doing the opposite. I'm giving you the magic wand to change something about that very person. It's safe to say that if we're that close to someone, we appreciate most things about them. That doesn't mean we don't have our pet peeves about them, however, things we'ld like to see them change. Here's your chance to talk/vent about it. But first, it's important to identify the most important person in your life. They don't need to be mentioned here, however, just what you would change about him/her.

It should come as no secret to most that the most important person in my life is my wife. And for every slight criticism I have regarding her, I have ten nice things to say about her. So it's hard for me to look at her and be critical of her, but there is something that bothers me immensely.

One of the things that drew me to my wife is that she and I had different interests when we met. We had many things in common, but we had interests that were completely different from each other, and I enjoyed getting to know and appreciate most of the things she is interested in such as art, musicals, and museums.

However, my wife doesn't share the same tolerance for the things I enjoy. While I try to enjoy the things she likes that I dont necessarily do, she doesn't make the effort. When she does watch wrestling or sports with me, she drops subtle hints as to how stupid/worthless the events are, and what a waste of time they are.

My wife and I do most things together, so when she goes to a play or an art exhibit, she really wants me to be there. For whatever reason, she generally wants me around during everything she does, even if it's "girls night out." I've spent many a night with her and her female friends, and I try to enjoy each and every thing we do together, which she shows incredible appreciation for. However, despite her desire to spend so much time with me, she mostly refuses to watch sports or wrestling with me, and outright refuses to attend live sporting or wrestling events. It frustrates me that she expects and gets upset if I don't do the things she wants, yet she doesn't seem to understand my frustration when she won't accompany/watch the things I like with me. For me, it's more about her understanding the double standard then it is about joining me, because everyone needs time alone. Fortunately, most of the things we do we enjoy doing together, but I'd lie if I said this doesn't bother me.

So how about you? If you could only choose one thing to change given the magic wand Ive given you about the most important person in your life, what would it be? Why?

Any other thoughts or discussion surrounding this topic are more then welcome.

 

[Dagger Dias]

However, my wife doesn't share the same tolerance for the things I enjoy. While I try to enjoy the things she likes that I dont necessarily do, she doesn't make the effort. When she does watch wrestling or sports with me, she drops subtle hints as to how stupid/worthless the events are, and what a waste of time they are.

I can relate here. I have a higher tolerance for the things my wife likes that I don't. For example, if we are listening to music she loves worship music and listens to little else. I'm Christian and enjoy worshiping too, but I prefer other styles of music such as classic rock. She gives me a hard time about still listening to 80's stuff, but I'll listen to her music without much of a complaint. Same goes for tv shows. I'll sit through House if she really wanted me to even though I don't like the show, but she refuses to watch stuff like Family Guy.

That isn't what I would change about her though. Her being happy is more important to me though than watching Family Guy or listening to Def Leppard. I can live with letting her have her way most of the time if it means her day will be a little better. My advice to everyone there is to pick your battles and don't start a fight over something stupid like what movie to watch or how long to pre-heat the oven for frozen pizza.

The one thing I would change about my wifey if I could change something would be that she curses a lot. I'd make it to where she never does. I try to tone it down myself and she has gotten better about it since we met. I can handle things like "What the f*ck!?".... but every time she lets out a "G*dd*mn" or a "Oh my God!" I'll call her out on it because we should practice what we preach as Christians by not speaking that way. No one's perfect and I'm not one to judge. It's just that it's easier to spread the message of salvation when you're not cussing like a sailor. I still love her more than anything in the world though, that's one little flaw in an otherwise perfect girl. I'm hardly perfect so I know there's at least one thing she'd change about me too.

 

[JWGunslinger]

So how about you? If you could only choose one thing to change given the magic wand Ive given you about the most important person in your life, what would it be? Why?

There aren't many things I can say that I would change about my fiance but if I had to choose something it would be her stubborn side. I have one too and I don't deny it but with her when she gets really into an argument over something she can never be wrong, she will always come back later and say she was sorry for being so insistant but in the moment even when I'm calm and explain what I think she'll have none of it. She gets being strong minded from her mom but at a different degree, thank goodness for that because if she was exactly like her mom I might lose my mind because she pushes her opinion on everyone all the time and won't accept a different opinion.

My girl is not like that with peoples beliefs and opinions but just over stupid shit like the other day in a candy shop she said she only saw one camera in the back of the shop and how stupid that is. I told her odds were that there was atleast one more somewhere up front if not several throughout and she wouldnt have anything of it because her dad ran a coffee shop and he had a bunch of hiding spots for cameras in his shops and so since she knows where to look for cameras there was only one.

A very stupid argument, I am happy that we have so few legitimate problems that when we do argue it's over something so stupid but it is a bit annoying how in certain situations she has to be right. But whether she's doing that or not I love her to death and if she never changes that I won't love her any less.

 

[Davi323]

My girlfriend's appreciation for TIME. She is the kind of girl where if you want her to be on time, you have to tell her things start at the minimum, half an hour earlier. IE, you want her somewhere at 8pm, tell her 7:30. The time something is supposed to start is about when she starts getting ready to go to it. ARGH.

It is a huge source of frustration for me, as I am more or less the exact opposite of that. I tend to be early, so I am ready to go out somewhere well before she is, and it means I just sit around waiting for her.

 

[LilacFray]

So how about you? If you could only choose one thing to change given the magic wand Ive given you about the most important person in your life, what would it be? Why?

I might lose my mind because she pushes her opinion on everyone all the time and won't accept a different opinion.

A very stupid argument, I am happy that we have so few legitimate problems that when we do argue it's over something so stupid but it is a bit annoying how in certain situations she has to be right.

Somewhat similar to what he said there. For my sister, when you speak your mind on something, she already has her own opinion on it and tends to oppose what you say. It can get frustrating because instead of trying to see things from some one else's light, she just sticks to what she sees and feels. Thing is she has good reasons most of the time. But then there are times when I just let it pass and let her sit in her little world with her opinions or if I really want to get my point across, tell her how annoying that way of hers is.

But I still love her.