History of WrestleMania with KB | Page 2 | WrestleZone Forums

History of WrestleMania with KB

I remember going into WM5 and rooting for Randy Savage to beat Hulk Hogan and I was crushed when it didn't happen, although I felt like it was not going to happen, but still. I also have fond memories of Rick Rude beating Ultimate Warrior for the IC title and for Jake Roberts -vs- Andre the Giant with BJS as the special guest referee. Overall this is one of my favorite WrestleMania's and if you watch close during Elizabeth's entrace, you will see a fan pat her on the ass and then one of her ushers goes back to yell at it, hehe classic stuff.
 
In the back we see a team called the Rockers. This Marty Jannetty guy is a freaking STUD. I could see this guy winning something like the IC title, maybe some tag titles or something like that. His partner just does nothing for me though as he’s bland as hell.

I'd laugh, but I'm pretty sure you're being serious here. I was still fairly young at the time, but I remember my dad telling me that Jannetty was always the one that people thought was going somewhere. No one thought a "high-flier" like Michaels would succeed in the company.

Now this is a match that I remember only one thing about. During a scoop slam, Luke of the Bushwackers clearly rubs Ray Rougeau crotch. It’s not on accident either. He puts his hand there and rubs up and down. Just a disturbing sight. To end this in a hurry, Bushwackers win with their rib breaker move.

Rating: C-. The crotch rub never fails to surprise me. Just not something I want to think about.

I remember most of this show, and as soon as you mentioned this, I wanted to gag. This is the first Wrestlemania that I had watched as it happened, and this always stuck in my mind. It was creepy, and completely unnecessary. They really should've stayed as the Moondogs.

Ronny Garvin vs. Dino Bravo

Anyway onto the match. I have never liked Ronny Garvin. The man just absolutely bores me to tears in the ring. How he became the NWA Champion and even defended it at Starrcade 87 is beyond me. Bravo was ok in the ring but just never really did it for me either. As I say that, Garvin puts on a sleeper which is perfect because I’m falling asleep watching this. In a strange ending (Thank God) Garvin is up in the corner punching Bravo but gets caught with an atomic drop and is side suplexed to pin him. Garvin gets up and hits Bravo and then uses what has to be the stupidest finisher of all time on Bravo’s manager, the Garvin Stomp. Randy Orton I believe has used this recently. He starts at the arm and goes around the body stomping the opponent. Just looks bad.

Rating: F. I was bored to tears and don’t like either one. This is a biased rating and I could care less.

Nope. Not biased. Accurate. Garvin's career should've ended when the territories started to end. He was good for the NWA, and that's about it. And, he was lucky for that. Bravo was never anything special in my eyes, and I'm kind of surprised he was as big as he was.

BREAKING NEWS-Hulk Hogan is making a movie! It’s called No Holds Barred. That movie truly was nine kinds of awesome.

I love this movie. I'll have to find it and watch it again sometime.

IC Title-Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

The idea of this is the two competed for who had the best body. They had a pose off at the Royal Rumble and Rude attacked the Warrior with a steel exercise bar. Not much of a story but this was the second biggest match on the card.

For some reason that God alone knows, these two had freaks chemistry together. It’s rare to ever see a bad match between them. I have no idea why this is the case but that’s how it always was with them. To have one of the worst workers ever and another who’s character was great but in the ring wasn’t great but wasn’t bad either be able to put on such solid matches really is a strange thing.

I totally agree. I was a fan of Warrior's, but everyone was, and I was just about to turn 5 here. They always had some great matches, and their cage match ranks among my top 5 all time. I'm guessing two wrongs really do make a right.



Being the first WrestleMania that I had a chance to watch live, this one will always be among my favorites. There was some pretty crappy filler (Duggan v. Brown, Rooster v. Heenan), but the rest of the show was amazing, and the storylines were really showing through. The Hogan v. Macho match still holds up well for me though, but it's also been a while since I've seen it in it's entirety.
 
Wrestlemania 6
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
O Canada: Robert Goulet

If you remember what I said in the last review about WM 5 being the first standard WM, this one is the first standard blockbuster Wrestlemania. This Mania has the truly huge show atmosphere to it and there are two main reasons for it. Number one is the crowd is massive. At over 67,000 people, this would be the second biggest crowd for a Wrestlemania for the next 11 years.

Second, you had the second biggest Wrestlemania Main event of all time which was title for title. Absolutely no one knew who to pick in this match. That to me is what makes a match at least a notch higher up. Also the actual look of the show changed. If you watch 4 and 5, you see the older look to it.

I’m not sure how to put it into words but if you watch either of them and then 6 one after another you’ll see what I mean. 6 simply looks much newer. I know that it’s a year later, but the jump is a huge difference. The card is long and while there’s some filler, it’s good filler. I’m a sucker for this show but I’ll try to be objective.

To begin with, one of the most memorable things about this show is the opening. It shows the night sky and talks about the constellations in it. Eventually we get to constellations of Hogan and Warrior. Vince’s booming voice over this scene makes the show and the match just seem epic.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

Ok so not every match can be great. The newest WWE HOF member still makes me shake my head. Martel is a better choice than he is but that’s a topic for another thread. This is the WM debut of Martel’s Model gimmick. For this show the ring carts from WM 3 are back. For those that haven’t seen them, they’re small motorized carts that the wrestlers ride to the ring in. Kind of a cool idea.

I assume they’re used to prevent people from having to make the very long walk to the ring. You can tell how great Koko is. Gorilla’s line talking about how good he is: “He’s proven he can take anybody to the limit.” Read as, he can’t beat anyone. Koko only stands 5’8. Never knew how short he was. Martel is only 6’0 but it looks pretty funny to see the tiny face like that.

They actually thought this was the best possible opening match for Wrestle-freaking-Mania? Really? Frankie was always kind of cool. Martel jumps him to start and Koko is in trouble early on. Koko had a decent dropkick and that's about it. Yet he's in the Hall of Fame and Randy Savage isn't. Amazing.

Martel sends him to the floor and Koko is in trouble. Ha I said that just as Gorilla did. The crowd starts a small boring chant and I can't say I blame them. Boston Crab is blocked early. In the clipped version the first Boston Crab attempt is shown going on as Martel turns him towards the ropes and he winds up in the middle of the ring with it. Odd indeed.

Koko hits a pair of flying headbutts that just look awful. On the third one in one of the dumbest spots I’ve ever seen, he fakes the headbutt and after a second, Martel falls anyway. I could get that he was bracing himself and fell or something, but Koko gets a long two out of it. WOW. Missed cross body leads to the Boston Crab for the submission.

Rating: D. This was a squash and a bad one. Koko truly is bad in the ring. He’s bland and for whatever reason was popular. Bad way to start a show. Koko was one of those guys in the 80s that wasn't any good but was pushed on occasion as a midcard threat anyway and more or less was a jobber to the stars. Weak opening match.

Andre and Haku, the Colossal Connection, are called the Colostomy Connection by Gene. Heenan says if you want to talk about evacuation…Wow again. They say they’re going to eliminate Demolition. Gene, as they leave: “The Colossal Connection, they’re anything but regular guys.” My goodness.

Demolition wants to destroy and demolish the Connection and take the belts back.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. The Colossal Connection

This is Demolition’s rematch from when the Connection beat them in I believe December. It was also their chance to become three time tag champions. The crowd chants Weasel at Heenan which sounds great in this huge arena. This match is absolutely nothing but power all around. In something that I never realized before and someone correct me if I’m wrong but this was Andre’s last televised WWF match.

Andre jumps them to start and the challengers are in trouble early. Apparently the Harts want a shot at the winners. Smash and Haku officially start us off. I have a feeling we'll be seeing the Islander a lot. Those big screens in the back are rather cool.

Andre only pops in every once in awhile to throw punches and choke. The perk of him being so freaking huge is that a simple move like one of those is enough to take a guy down and have it look very realistic.

This whole thing is pretty much just ok at best. Haku vs. Demolition isn't a match I particularly care to see but it's all they could do. I would kind of question putting the titles on the Connection simply to give Andre a title run in his career but it's better than ignoring him I suppose. Axe gets beaten down for the majority of the match.

Haku wrestles almost all of the match here as Andre was in bad shape at this point. Haku accidently superkicks Andre into the ropes and Demolition lands their finisher to pick up the titles. Post match, Heenan goes nuts on Andre in the corner, at one point clearly saying he’s the fucking boss. Then in something that boggles even my smark mind, Bobby slaps him. The look on Andre’s face is nothing short of great.

He grabs Bobby by the throat and slaps him a few times and punches him. He catches Haku’s thrust kick and beats the hell out of him too. Heenan and Haku get thrown off the cart as Andre leaves on his own to the crowd losing their minds. The sad part though is how hunched over Andre is. Truly a sad sight.

Rating: C-. This was a fun little match that wasn’t entirely predictable. The post match stuff is even better than the match. Ticked off giants are just plain fun. It's more or less just a way to give the fans something to cheer for which works fine I guess. Nothing special at all but fun.

In the back we see Earthquake and Jimmy Hart who says that there’s going to be an earthquake and Earthquake says Hercules will crumble.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Do I have to watch this? Seriously, what are you expecting here? Quake is undefeated here and is putting people in the hospital left and right. He tries to jump Hercules to start and Herc pounds away with punches.

We get a test of strength and being a heel, Earthquake cheats after getting in trouble. He pounds away with fat man moves before Herc gets a shot in. After a bunch of big power shots he can't take Earthquake off his feet.

And then like an IDIOT, Hercules tries for the backbreaker (torture rack) and gets drilled. You freaking deserve that for being stupid. A few shots put him down and the Earthquake Splash ends it. He deserves pain like that too.

Rating: D-. I liked Hercules, but this was just bad. It wasn't quite a squash but it might as well have been. He beats Hercules up more afterwards and he deserves it for being stupid enough to try the Rack like that. Earthquake would be top heel by August.

Some old lady named Rona Barrett talks to Liz who is going to be more active in wrestling.

Brutus Beefcake is going to end Mr. Perfect’s “perfect” record. He shows off how sharp his scissors are by snipping at the paper the record is on and the paper doesn’t cut. Amazing indeed.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect.

Perfect beat the tar out of Beefcake at the Rumble so this is little more than a grudge match. Can't beat that. That Brutus music is downright awesome. Gorilla STEALS Jesse's line about Brutus looking like a hand grenade went off in his pocket. Wouldn't that result in a bad leg injury?

They start off hard and fast again which is a tradition so far tonight. Brutus dominates to start, sending Perfect flying. He might still be undefeated here but I'm not sure. Things slow down a lot as we talk about conditioning.

Gorilla isn't sure what the weak spot is on Hennig. I'd recommend hitting him in the face. Brutus goes for the sleeper as Mary Tyler Moore is here. This Mania is officially awesome. Genius slips the scroll to Perfect which gets two. I love that neck snap Perfect does. Beefcake makes his comeback and hits a slingshot into the post for the pin out of NOWHERE.

Rating: C. Compared to what’s come before it, this match is Steamboat and Savage. Brutus, for all his faults, wasn't that bad in the ring. Having a guy with him like Hennig helped a lot, and this might be Brutus’ biggest win ever. The postmatch beatdown is very old school pink on pink action fun as well.

Post match the Genius gets a haircut for his troubles.

To say this match is interesting would be an understatement. We see a video recapping the buildup. This match came about because Piper eliminated Bad News from the Rumble and Bad News came back in and eliminated him. They fought to the back. For those that don’t know, Brown was legit. He is the only American heavyweight to win a medal in Olympic Judo, and also made Andre the Giant back down in a real fight in Japan after Andre made a racist joke. Anyway, 3 weeks after the Rumble, Bad News made a joke about Piper’s kilt which is just too far.

In a promo that would never be allowed to air today, Piper is in the back and says he’s the Hot Rod, but at other times he’s the Hot Scot. At that point, he turns around and you see that half of his body is painted back right down the middle. After a brief karaoke of Billy Jean, Piper insults Brown’s looks in a funny promo and says he’s going to shut Bad News’ big mouth, but Brown doesn’t know if it’ll be Hot Rod or Hot Scot that does it.

I’m still not sure what the point of the whole painting thing was.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

I think this is no DQ but I’m not sure. This isn’t so much a match as it is a fight. Very few wrestling moves and mainly punches and kicks but it was designed to be that way. The fighting is fun because it’s what these two are best at. Surprisingly Piper is ripped here in by far the best shape he’s ever been in.

Allegedly that paint took weeks to get off due to a rib from Andre and someone else. Not sure how true that is. Yeah there's no wrestling at all here. Sometimes that's a great thing though and here that's exactly what this should be like.

The way Brown beats up Roddy and then Roddy just casually pokes him in the eye is great. Brown gets sent into exposed steel and is down. Piper pulls out a white glove as we continue the Michael Jackson theme night which I suppose is what the black and white thing is about. Match ends in a double count out and it means nothing. They continue brawling all the way up the ramp and into the back.

Rating: A. This match was nonstop fighting and was insanely fun. There was next to no wrestling in it but that that’s what made it great. I loved this match the first time I saw it and it’s still great. And yes that's highly biased.

Steve Allen, the former Tonight Show host, is in a bathroom with a piano with the Bolsheviks practicing the Russian National Anthem. He makes a few jokes but finally says he’ll do the real Russian Anthem. He opens his mouth and a toilet flushes. Steve runs to save his own life.

Hart Foundation vs. The Bolsheviks

The Harts want Demolition. This match literally lasts 19 seconds. Harts knock the Bolsheviks down during their singing, land the Hart Attack and it’s over.

Rating: N/A. What can I say about 19 seconds? Funny if nothing else. The pop for Hart is coming too. It’s not there yet but you can see the star in him. Granted that might be the Canada thing

Wrestlemania 7 is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum and there will be over 100,000 fans there!

Edit from the future: no there won’t be. Ticket sales bombed and they moved it to the Sports Arena in the same town which held about 16,000 people.

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Tito does a promo that I literally couldn’t pay attention to. This match screamed HOUSE SHOW to me. It’s two guys in a ring doing moves on each other. There’s little psychology and less meaning to most of it. It’s not bad wrestling, but there’s no spark to it at all. Santana is a great worker, but this match just did nothing for me.

Yeah this isn't much at all. Santana does a bit, Barbarian hits the floor to hide a bit with Heenan, Jesse makes enchilada jokes, Barbarian comes back in, and we let the destruction begins. It's not bad but at the same time this isn't much at all.

It’s not boring, but I wonder why this is on Wrestlemania. Not even Tito’s nice ass in those white tights which I’ve always had a thing for can save this. Barbarian wins with a clothesline off the top that was sweet looking.

Rating: D. Like I said, it’s not bad at all, but it just did nothing for me. I don't get the need for this being on here though as Tito was destroyed both here and at Summerslam by the Powers of Pain. I guess I get the idea of having them get good matches (in theory) but really? This needed to be on Mania?

Next up is a recap of the upcoming mixed tag which I believe was a first at the time. Sapphire, as worthless of a person as there ever has been in wrestling, is shown beating up Sherri which just infuriates me, and Macho King feuding with the Common Man Dusty Rhodes. Fairly cool concept for a feud really, even though Dusty boarders on Communism in his promo. He also talks about having the Crown Jewel but no one knows what they mean.

Macho King and Queen Sherri vs. Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire

The King having people carry him to the ring on the throne was always just insanely cool to me for some reason. The fun part of this for some reason was figuring out the women’s weight based on the male’s weights. Sherri at about 130-140 and Sapphire at 180-190, which Jesse says is impossible and I think I agree with him. The more Dusty promos I hear the more I like him. His mic work is great.

Dusty says that they have something Macho doesn’t have, which is the Crown Jewel. The Crown Jewel is none other than Elizabeth. For the first time in way too long, Savage absolutely loses it. The crowd pops louder than they’ve done all night as she goes to Dusty and Sapphire’s corner.

Liz is definitely good looking in blue. The genders have to match up here so that's good. Sapphire is just horrible. One of her attacks is a hip into the other chick's hips. I can't believe I'm going to say this but GET BACK TO DUSTY!

Dusty does what he can here and it's just not working for the most part. A lot of this is the girls doing what they can which isn't much for the most part as they're just not very good. Well Sherri is but she can't work miracles. Savage destroys Dusty until the required big comeback makes the save.

This match is all over the place the entire match and it’s incredibly fun. Rhodes is at his best when he can just go crazy in a match and that’s what this is. Dusty is in the ring the entire time almost which is the best thing possible. Dusty is just on fire the whole time and Savage is his usual great self. Sapphire finally gets in the ring and proves my theory: she is awful. Sadly enough, she pins Sherri in a dark day for wrestling. Liz actually dances with Dusty and Sapphire to Common Man after the match.

Rating: D-. Sapphire literally drops this about a full letter grade. She was flat out awful and there is no reason she should have pinned Sherri at all. Dusty and Savage carry this to a decent grade though. It's a sad day that Dusty Rhodes is the workhorse of his team but that was the case here.

Hey, did you know WM 7 will be in Los Angeles? Don’t know if the promo that aired earlier would get the message across or not.

Heenan is upset. Okerlund is all over the place tonight as he says, “Bobby Heenan where do you have the ba…guts to insult Andre the Giant?” You can clearly see Bobby almost lose it after that. He declares war on Andre and says he’ll be getting a new Heenan Family together.

That old woman from earlier is with Gorilla and Jesse in the back and yet again, I couldn’t care less. Allegedly there’s a clip of Jesse in a porn movie out there somewhere. Never heard anything about that and I don’t think it’s true.

Macho Man cuts a promo that makes literally no sense. I think it’s about Dusty Rhodes.

Demolition is glad to have won the titles in the fifth promo in a row. They say the Harts can bring it on.

In promo #6, Hogan cuts one of his most famous promos ever, telling Warrior that the power lies in the palm of his hand. He also says that he can save all of the Little Warriors with the training, the prayers and the vitamins. Hogan goes on to say that his Hulkamaniacs want to help them. Rewatching this, it’s clear that Hogan would lose. He mentions that the winner or the loser doesn’t matter, but what kind of winner or loser you are.

At the end of the show, he hands the belt to Warrior and holds up his hand, being a “good loser.” Wow it’s fun to see these in a different light. Also starting to wonder if “take your vitamins” is a tongue in cheek reference to taking steroids, but that might be a stretch.

Guess what’s next? Go on, guess. If you said Promo #7, I’ll get you a ham sandwich. In an equally famous promo, Warrior says that Hogan’s life can be lived through the Warrior, but it will be in the darkness. Everything is about accepting challenges, but Hogan has never met a challenge like him. He’s going to bring the Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs together as one.

Rockers vs. Orient Express

See, this is what I loved about the 80s and early 90s: the tag division was AWESOME. There were at least 8 distinctly gimmicked teams fighting all over the place. There were jobber teams, midcard teams and main event tag teams. These teams almost always had great matches together. They had a great one at the 91 Rumble so hopefully this holds up.

Tanaka vs. Jannetty opens us up. Surprisingly enough this is pretty fast paced to start. Fuji interferes with the cane to set up Marty as the Ricky Morton for this match. And never mind as Shawn is already back in. Tanaka takes him down with a cross body for no cover.

The fans are into this which is always a good sign. It's actually Shawn as the face in peril here which is the custom of the Rockers. It's weird to see the Rockers getting outworked. Marty comes in to more or less no pop which is odd.

The double teaming by the good guys begins and Tanaka takes a big old flipping flip off a double back drop. Fuji trips Janetty and salt goes into his eyes as he falls into the crowd. Are we sure he's not just drunk? He gets counted out to let evil win the day.

Rating: C. Semi-filler, but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad. This is definitely the weakest of their feud which is saying a lot as this was sitll fine. Not a bad match but not great really. The ending more or less sucked but that isn't incredibly bad. It set up a future match I guess but I wasn't big on it.

Steve Allen is with Rhythm and Blues. Allen says he hasn’t been so excited since he heard Pee Wee Herman was straight. Good grief this show was pushing things for 1990.

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Duggan waves the American flag in Canada. Well no one ever said he was intelligent. Jesse is impressed by the crowd as he should be. It’s huge. This is your standard power brawl and with Duggan in there, it’s likely not going to be that great. Surprising no one, it’s pretty dull.

The crowd is into it though so that’s good. Here's some punching. And some kicking. Plus some more punching. Ooo it's a back breaker. Yeah it's one of those matches. Never been a fan of these matches but they're trying.....ok not really but it sounds good.

Earthquake and Hart interfere of course. We get an argument about manager's licenses and all that jazz which goes nowhere. Eventually the referee yells at him leading to a 2x4 to Bravo’s back and a pin. Post match Quake beats the hell out of Duggan.

Rating: D+. It was bad but they kept it short which was very smart. These two were thrown out there on a ton of Superstars shows which went nowhere. This was too short and it never went anywhere at all which doesn't surprise me at all. Weak match and filler. It's just not a good sign when there's nothing to bring the crowd down from. You can tell they're here for one match only.

Video package showing Jake Roberts stealing DiBiase’s Million Dollar Belt which happened over the course of about a year for some reason. Jake is in the back and cuts what might be one of the best promos I’ve ever seen. He starts by saying this is the biggest match in DiBiase’s career. At that moment I thought this was going to suck because 2 years ago he was main eventing WM for the World Title.

But then Jake started talking about DiBiase’s values and his life, and something impressive happened: I believed him. That my friends, is why Jake Roberts is considered great. He was able to make you believe something that wasn’t true. That is what psychology in wrestling is. He did something that made you believe in what he was trying to sell to you. Greatness indeed.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

If there are two better 80s performers that never got a real chance in the main event, I’d like to see them. Jake dominates at first and goes to town on DiBiase’s arm but as DiBiase pretends to bail, Jake gets caught by him. I hope this is a Canadian tradition and not a sign of boredom but the Wave begins in the SkyDome which really is an impressive sight in a crowd that big. I kind of see it as disrespectful though.

A wide shot shows that the ring is on a pedestal/platform kind of thing which really is cool. Jake immediately goes for the DDT but can't get anywhere with it. This is your standard match between these guys with a LONG chinlock. These two fought time and time again, usually for the Million Dollar Belt, and it never went anywhere.

Jake makes his usual comeback and then gets taken down again. And there's the chinlock again. Was Ted afraid to do much other than something like that? Apparently it's to get through the Wave. Well that makes sense. Jake makes his comeback and still I will say that no one bumps as well as DiBiase does for his size. They go outside and DiBiase locks in the Dream again but goes into the post.

Virgil him back in before the 10 though and DiBiase gets the win. Post match Jake comes back and beats both men up, sending money flying everywhere. Virgil gets away with the money but Jake gets a picture perfect DDT on DiBiase and the fans explode. You can see the head slam off the mat and it looks great. Jake then hands out the real $100 bills that DiBiase dropped, including one to Hollywood legend Mary Tyler Moore.

Rating: C. Well they tried but the whole Wave = chinlock thing messed up a lot of their stuff. They tried as hard as they could but the crowd was against them here. This was a huge feud and DIBiase gets the title back via countout but whatever. The number of matches is hurting the show again.

In the back, we hear Slick talk about why Bossman turned face, which was because he wouldn’t be paid off by DiBiase to do his bidding, saying that he was a fair law enforcer. That split up the team of Bossman and Akeem so we get this match. Bossman, which is really a great gimmick, another great feature of the 80s, says that he’s proud to be an American. Great way to be a face buddy.

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Bossman’s eyes are sweet looking on the way to the ring. Before the match, DiBiase, the guy that tried to buy off Bossman in the fall, comes from under the ring and beats up Bossman so Akeem dominates to begin with. Bossman lands a great boot to the face though to break the momentum.

He’s down and trying to get his breath but then just snaps up like absolutely nothing is wrong with him. It looked REALLY bad. He goes off on Akeem and a few seconds later an amazing Bossman Slam considering Akeem’s size gets the pin. Post match, Bossman punches Slick.

Rating:N/A. Just another quickie and it gets nowhere at all.

Sean Mooney is in the crowd and asks if people are looking forward the Rhythm And Blues singing. Mary Tyler Moore is apparently a wrestling fan and I now love her even more than I did before.

Now we get the famous scene from this show: the Pink Cadillac carrying Rhythm And Blues. The reason this is famous? The owner and driver of the car is none other than future two time, two time WCW World Heavyweight Champion, Diamond Dallas Page. He was just about to debut in WCW at the time. He actually might have already but if he had he had been there all of a month.

They perform their new song, Hunka Hunka Hunka Honkey Love (Word wants to murder me for that) and it’s bad. You can see Jimmy Hart is the only one that has a clue what he’s doing which makes sense.

For those of you that don’t know, Jimmy Hart was the main person responsible for all of the mind blowing songs used in the WWF in the 80s and early 90s. Back in the 60s he was lead singer for a band called the Gentrys that had a big hit called Keep On Dancing. They went on tour with the Beach Boys so apparently they had something going for them. Hart brought that legit talent to wrestling music and it worked really well.

For God knows what reason, the Bushwackers appear selling programs at ringside. Realizing that these are the worst disguises of all time, they pull them off and run off Rhythm and Blues before destroying their guitars. Kind of funny, more stupid though. The funniest part of this is Jesse referencing a CD and Gorilla doesn’t sound that sure as to what it is.

Yet again, WM 7 in Los Angeles. The sad thing is I remember the real commercials that had the ticket number in it that’s been edited out since. I could literally quote the ticket number in this if I wanted to. That’s kind of sad.

New SkyDome attendance record of 67,678 people. These announcements are always kind of cool to me. However, the fans seem completely uncaring about this.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

This match is pure filler before the main event. Steve Allen is on commentary here. Standard match here for these two. Back and forth which makes it a decent match. Snuka doing the hip swivel is funny if nothing else. Rude wins with a Rude Awakening. Steve Allen has some very funny lines in this and it boosted the match a lot. For those that may have forgotten, Allen was kind of like the Jay Leno of his time, just not quite as famous but very close to it.

Rating: C-. Funny and that's it. No one cares as it's time for Hogan vs. Warrior.

And now it’s time for the main event. First up of course is a recap though. It stated with the two of them saying nice things about each other in their promos and then they wound up being alone together in the Rumble. They do a nicely choreographed routine ending in a double clothesline, but DAMN was it exciting to see it at the time. This would be like Hogan and Austin today.

A week later they were in a tag match with Mr. Perfect and his manager/partner the Genius. Hogan and Warrior win but afterwards the brawl continues. Hogan gets nailed by mistake with a Warrior clothesline. A month later Warrior is in trouble against Earthquake and Hogan makes the save after the match for Mania had been announced. Two weeks after that, same scenario, just switch Hogan and Warrior.

In other words, Earthquake was a fucking bad ass. Hogan tries to get up and Warrior runs back and forth. Hogan has his back to him and Warrior raises his arm for a clothesline but stops dead. Then Hogan turns and puts his fists up. Warrior hits the ropes again, hops to the floor and runs away. Seriously, this guy was messed up at times.

Intercontinental Title/WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. The Ultimate Warrior

This was dubbed The Ultimate Challenge and both belts were on the line. Warrior’s music hits and I don’t ever recall a crowd going from dead to insane so quickly, at least not until Austin and the glass shattering began. Everything about this match is absolutely epic. Even the entrances just feel big if that makes sense. This is what Wrestlemania was supposed to end with and it works perfectly here.

Absolutely great job in building this up as face vs. face was very risky and still is hard to do today. Hogan’s ovation is clearly louder, but not by much. In one of the coolest scenes ever, Hogan’s music plays and as we pan from the crowd to the entry way, Warrior is seen standing on the middle rope doing his press slam motion. I marked out beyond belief just for the entrances.

It’s hard to do, but they awakened the inner young fan in me, the Hulkamaniac that lurks inside my soul. One thing I’ve always wondered: when Warrior comes to the ring, he clearly has his symbol painted on his chest, yet 5 minutes into the match it’s gone without a trace. That’s too fast to have been knocked off and wouldn’t there be traces if it was sweated off?

Crowd is white hot for this. Both guys shove each other away. And now for the iconic moment of the match: the test of strength. Warrior puts Hogan down but Hogan comes back and puts Warrior down. Hogan gets a slam and Warrior pops up. Warrior gets a slam and Hogan doesn't pop up.

Hogan goes to the floor and holds his knee. This will NEVER be mentioned again after it gets better. The key thing here though: it lets Hogan be able to say that Warrior didn't beat him at his best. The referee keeps trying to protect Hogan and Warrior is like screw you short man.

Naturally Hogan is fine now so the knee thing is completely forgotten, never to be mentioned again. Hogan gets the worst chinlock ever to take over for awhile. He puts Warrior down and waits awhile before covering after a clothesline. Ok then.

Back to the chinlock now as this is going more or less nowhere at all. A belly to back suplex fills in the wrestling quota for tonight. He gets his fourth chinlock to fill in time. Double clothesline and both go down after Hogan has taken next to no punishment this whole time.

Warrior does an Undertaker sit up before Taker was around. Warrior Warriors Up and the bald man is in trouble. Bear hug goes on Hogan. There are FAR more rest holds in this than I remember. This one goes on for like two and a half minutes.

And down goes the referee. Hogan gets what would be a three count. Warrior gets what would be a three count. Warrior hammers away and manages to get the press slam and the splash for two as the fans are in shock.

He Hulks Up as Warrior pounds away on him. Three punches and a big boot set up the leg drop. The leg drop amazingly misses and Warrior hits a big splash and wins the title in one of the biggest shockers of all time.

Rating: A+. This match lived up to the amazing hype that it got and showed that Hogan could work a long match that wasn’t in his normal formula. It also showed that Warrior did indeed have the capabilities to wrestle well if given the right opponent, which he had also done with Rude. While I think Hogan should have kept the title, that doesn’t mean that it was a bad match, because it was great.

The finish made sense and didn’t make Hogan look weak but made Warrior look strong. That’s hard to do. I don’t know what I can say about this match that hasn’t already been said. For both men, it’s likely the match of their lives. They have nearly 68,000 people in the palms of their hands for nearly 23 minutes and it never lets up once. Everything is a small war and the crowd knows it. Every little thing in this match is done well and that makes it a classic.

Both men do their signature no pain things, and you literally didn’t know who was going to win. When Hogan hulked up, I truly believed for a split second he was going to win. That’s great work. The finish to this epic struggle came when Hogan missed the leg drop and Warrior splashed him for the pin, and wrestling changed forever. Jesse’s shout of THE WARRIOR’S WON THE TITLE is absolutely perfect.

After Hogan hands him the belt and steals a bit of the spotlight, the arena goes a bit darker and pyro goes off all over the place. The big screens show Warrior shaking the ropes with the belt in hand and it’s just amazing to look at. A great ending to a great match and show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a really hard decision for me because based on the main event, the Brown/Piper match and a few others, this show is really great to watch. However, there’s some flaws that keep it from being perfect. For one thing and I didn’t really touch on this, the time it took to get to the ring was just way too long. I know there’s not much they could do about that, but it really slowed things down at times.

Also, there were too many short matches. The card doesn’t need to have everyone on the card. Take the opener for example. That was a waste of nearly 10 minutes counting introductions. Finally, WAY too many backstage promos. We don’t need an interview before every match. It’s just overkill at that point. However, those are simply keeping a great show from being legendary.

This show had the real Wrestlemania feel to it and it shows. It was supposed to be an epic show and it lived up to it. The matches were for the most part good, stories were advanced, things were memorable, and it was fun. Definite recommendation here as so far, it’s the second best Mania and arguably the best along with 3. Los Angeles, here we come!
 
WrestleMania 6, man, I never would have thought that the Ultimate Warrior would have had a shot in hell at beating Hulk Hogan, I was so shocked I went to bed thinking that somehow, someway, the decision was going to be reversed and Hulk Hogan would get his title back, but it didn't happen.....

The mixed tag-team match between Dusty and Savage should have been a one on one bout instead, that was bogus.
 
Wrestlemania 7
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan
America The Beautiful: Willie Nelson

Now this was a most interesting show and one that I’ve always liked for some reason. The theme for this show was Stars and Stripes in light of the Gulf War. At the Royal Rumble, Sergeant Slaughter had won the WWF Title with the help of the Macho Man by beating the Ultimate Warrior.

Slaughter was an Iraqi sympathizer and therefore, the epitome of evil at the time. It was clear that a Real American would have to rise up to confront him and take the title back. Fortunately, the WWF had the realest of all Real Americans in Mr. Hulk Hogan.

Your other big match was the previously mentioned Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage. These two would meet on this show in a career ending match. There’s also Mr. Perfect vs. Big Bossman for the IC belt and the Nasty Boys vs. The Harts for the tag belts.

We see the Rockers talking about how the Rockers are going to beat their opponents which is about the same interview that they did for their entire time in the WWF. This is close to the end of the Rockers’ run which mainly is because you can really see the star in Shawn begging to be let out.

The Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Due to Heenan managing the heels, we get Hacksaw Jim Duggan on commentary. Duggan is dressed like Uncle Sam which works fine for him. After running down the two main matches for a bit it’s time to set started. Shawn vs. Haku opens us up here. It’s your basic power vs. speed match to start which means it’s solid all things considered.

Everyone is in maybe 90 seconds in though and we get to an interesting part: the Rockers hit a double superkick to both guys, and the heels are up in maybe 4 seconds. In other words, Sweet Chin Music did nothing at all. Was it a technique thing that made them better later on? I’ve never gotten that. Off to Barbarian vs. Marty now which sounds painfully bad.

Sunset flip doesn’t work for Marty but Barbarian punches mat instead. The Rockers were rather awesome at this point which is always cool to see. Now we get to the majority of the match as Marty plays….well Marty, taking a BIG beating from the monsters. It amazes me how these guys could have the same formula so often and make it work so many times (and yes I know the Expresses did it first).

We get the bearhug as Marty is reeling. Granted it might be that he’s stoned or drunk but we have no evidence thereof. Granted it’s Marty so him being sober would be most odd indeed. Did Barbarian ever not have steady work? Marty manages to get free but misses a second rope cross body and is caught in a SLICK powerslam to crush him for no cover.

Barbarian misses a top rope headbutt though and amazingly his Samoan head is actually hurt. It does the needed job though as here comes Shawn off the hot tag. Shawn manages to fight off both guys for far longer than you would expect him to. A thumb in the eye doesn’t get Haku anywhere as Shawn gets a sunset flip for two.

Everyone comes in again and the Rockers wake up with double teams all around. They unleash the high stuff (remember it’s Marty out there) and a cross body from Shawn gets the win. Very fun match here and it worked rather well. Duggan leaves since Heenan is going to take over on commentary now.

Rating: B. This was the perfect opener. There’s not much of importance here and that works well. You don’t want your fans to get emotionally invested in the first match and get them worn out in the early going. This match was fun, fast paced, and not too serious. Perfect choice for the opener. On a side note, this makes Shawn 1-2 at WM.

We see Alex Trebek, Regis Philbin and some ugly woman who are the celebrities for WM 7. Seriously, Alex Trebek? Regis I can understand, but this is the best you can do, in Los Angeles? That can’t be a good thing. They really have nothing to say of note.

Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo

This should be interesting. Power vs. power here so it’s likely not going to be that good. Bravo uses the absolute worst atomic drop I’ve ever seen. He just drops Tornado and it’s very sad indeed. Bravo hits his finisher and no one really is surprised when Tornado kicks out.

This is one of those matches that is on there for the purposes of filling in the card and everyone knows it. Bravo is LONG past his point of usefulness and Von Erich just never clicked in this company past a hot debut period. This is nothing at all and it knows it’s nothing at all.

Tornado locks in his Claw Hold and after about ten seconds the announcers acknowledge it. He then hits the spinning punch of death to pin Bravo as there’s literally no commentary for about 10 more seconds. They really didn’t care and neither do I.

Rating: F. When Gorilla Monsoon, the man that likely cared as much about the WWF than anyone else has nothing to say, you know it sucks.

Slick and Warlord babble about beating up the British Bulldog

British Bulldog and his dog Winston say they can beat the Warlord. You know, if Davey hadn’t had that stupid mascot, he could have been legendary. Everything about him just screams GIVE ME THE DAMN TITLE! At least in this interview it does.

Warlord vs. British Bulldog

Warlord has that sweet as hell half mask at this point. The Bulldog hails from Leeds. Just thought I’d throw that out there. Power vs. Power again here, but I’m not as worried as I was about the last one. Considering this is Stars and Stripes Wrestlemania, the Bulldog’s pops are insane. Hell those would be great pops anywhere.

He had the look, the talent, the moves, the fan support, everything he needed to be a mega star. What that never happened is beyond me, but I think it wore yellow and red. I’m really not wild on having back to back power vs. power matches but this is definitely an upgrade. Davey runs through Warlord to start us off here and sends him to the floor with some shoulder blocks.

Crucifix doesn’t work as Warlord counters into a Samoan Drop for no cover. Gorilla and Heenan are stealing the show. Heenan: “I was knighted by Queen Elizabeth you know.” Gorilla: “You keep this up I’ll have you crowned as well.” We get the loudest pop for a bearhug that I’ve EVER heard as this crowd is really quite hot. Total slugout here for the most part but it’s working.

Warlord gets a belly to belly out of nowhere to take Bulldog down and the crowd will not stop cheering. This is rather impressive. Warlord wastes time like the idiot that he is but for once it doesn’t cost him. On to the weakest chinlock I can remember in a very long time to waste some more time. Smith fights up and hits a DAMN good dropkick to take over.

It amazes me how versatile he was at this time and wouldn’t get his big push for over a year and a half. Granted some of that was due to Flair showing up and changing the whole thing which can’t be blamed on Vince. Piledriver attempt by Davey is blocked into a backdrop into a sunset flip for two.

There’s the full nelson from Warlord out of nowhere and Davey is in trouble. He can’t lock in the fingers though so there’s a chance for escape for our hero. The fingers aren’t locked and Davey is able to bust out of it in a surprise which hadn’t been done before I don’t think. A second later, Davey picks Warlord up and walks around with him for a bit and DRILLS him with the powerslam to end it. This was a miracle.

Rating: B-. I liked it. Bulldog is completely carrying this match though and it’s clear who the top talent here is. By far and away Warlord’s best match ever and something that I probably have overrated. It’s awesome for some reason though and I think a lot of it is due to the crowd being WAY into this. Very fun match indeed.

Jimmy Hart and the most overrated tag team I’ve ever seen, the Nasty Boys, are going to take the tag titles by cracking the foundation. The Harts disagree. Neidhart is pretty good on the mic, but Hitman is clearly the star here. This was at the very end of their run as a tag team and Bret is like Shawn at this point: ready and just waiting to be told to go for it.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation

For God knows why, Jimmy Hart is wearing a motorcycle helmet. Bret and Sags start us off here. Bret manages to beat up both guys on his own as you can see the singles push dripping and ready to come out. Anvil vs. Knobbs now. Who named these two guys? The Nasty Boys I mean. Anvil hammers away and Brian is in big trouble early on.

Both Harts have managed to clear the ring on their own which is always a cool thing to see. Back off to Bret again as it’s ALL Harts for about the first five minutes or so. Bret takes a clothesline though to send him to the floor. Anvil chases Jimmy and let’s talk about Hogan. To the shock of absolutely no one, Bret gets beaten on for the vast majority of the time he’s in, as is his custom.

Heenan tries to imitate Gorilla’s commentary when he gets all technical about body parts in a funny but too short bit. Sags gets a chinlock on Bret and cranks on it which gets him nowhere again. Knobbs plays Monkey See Monkey Do as he locks in the same move which gets him nowhere either.

Neckbreaker gets two for Sags as it’s so cute to see him try to wrestle out there. He REALLY likes that chinlock as we see it again. Now Knobbs try it again. They’ve probably spent 3-4 minutes on that damn chinlock over and over again. We get the oldest and one of the best tag moves in the books as Anvil gets the tag but it isn’t seen.

Heel miscommunication sets up the REAL hot tag and Neidhart cleans house. The Harts were awesome as a team and it’s a shame they’re not credited more than they are. I know they’re considered great but you don’t hear them talked about much anymore, or at least not enough for my liking.

Everything breaks down one more time and it’s a Hart Attack for Knobbs. And there comes the infamous Megaphone as Anvil is getting rid of Sags. Knobbs gets the pin on Bret to steal the titles. Jimmy’s near orgasm where he rolls all over the ground and kicks his feet and kisses the title is pretty hilarious stuff.

Rating: C-. They were trying, but you can’t sell the Nastys going over the Harts to me no matter what. I think this was their last time teaming together as well as Bret went for singles competition after this. The Nastys held the titles over the Summer before losing them at Summerslam to the LOD in their first title reign. Not terrible but the Nastys have never done it for me at all.

We recap Roberts vs. Martel. Now this match is 90% backstory. Jake Roberts was on the Brother Love Show and for some reason that was never explained, Rick Martel came out and sprayed Jake’s bag with Arrogance, his cologne that he carried everywhere with him and when Jake went to stop him, Jake got hit in the eye with it, allegedly blinding him.


I’ve always assumed Jake had an injury or something because he was out nearly 8 months over this. He finally came back to feud with Martel, and this was the match in which he would get his revenge. To play up on the blindness, both men’s heads have hoods over them from which they allegedly couldn’t see. This was voted worst match of the year I believe and I think I know why.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

Remember, neither guy can allegedly see here. Jake looks somewhat drunk here. Let the stupidity begin as the crowd has to tell them where the other guy is. No contact a minute in. Their feet touch a bit and Martel falls over Jake as we’re in a glorified comedy match. We get proof they can see as Martel sets for a backdrop and Jake runs around him. In a kayfabe sense, why would ANYONE do that?

They back into each other and then charge and miss each other. This is so painfully stupid I can’t imagine what the person that came up with it was on. Must have been a bondage enthusiast. Martel gets a slam as the biggest move of the first three and a half minutes then misses an elbow. Heenan starts repeating Monsoon in a funny bit.

Martel finds the referee twice in a row which gets him nowhere of course. Jake does a thing where he runs his finger around the ring and the crowd cheers when he points at Martel. Now he’s clapping. How are we five minutes into this already? Heenan: why doesn’t Martel peak? Gorilla: that’s cheating! Heenan: so what??? That’s an excellent point actually.

Apparently the snake now weighs 500lbs according to Heenan. The fans chant DDT. I think they want the pesticide to kill themselves. It must be a better treatment than having to watch this. Martel runs into the bag in the corner and we STILL have had a total of maybe 20 seconds of contact in over six minutes of the match. I can’t refer to it as wrestling or action as it has been neither.

Jake gets a headlock and is sent to the floor off a counter. Heenan: HEY MARTEL! HE’S ON THE FLOOR! Martel, like an idiot, goes to the floor and grabs a chair which he pokes around with. He swings the chair at a post and hurts his hand. They finally find each other, I think out of boredom. Boston Crab goes on and Jake is in trouble. Never mind as he kicks him off and gets the DDT to finally end this mess.

Rating: F. What they were thinking here I don’t have a clue, but this was just a terrible match. The fans were into it for some reason but for almost 10 minutes they do nothing but hunt for each other or land a punch or two here and there. Just a complete waste of time.

That woman from earlier is in the locker room as the Nastys celebrate. What is the point of this again?

Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka

And so it began. You know where this goes. No promos or anything as Taker was just squashing people at this point. We start with a LONG staredown and again no contact. Bearer is as freaky looking as ever. Taker drills Snuka and we’re finally getting going here. The jumping clothesline takes Snuka down and it’s one sided already.

Heenan tries to figure out the Urn which hasn’t been done in nearly 20 years so far but whatever. Gorilla says people with white coats and a net are coming after Bearer. That would be after his son actually but who’s counting? Snuka comes back with pure jobber offense that gets him a grand total of nowhere. He hotshots himself to the floor though and that should just about do it. Taker catches a springboard cross body and the Tombstone kills Jimmy with ease.

Rating: D+. This is mostly for historical significance as the match itself is nothing. It’s a squash and a fairly bad one at that. However, no one at the time knew what would come from this. Truly a piece of wrestling history and you have to wonder if anyone could have dreamed that this would be the first in a streak that got Taker what, three or four world titles at Mania? Remarkable.

We see a video package highlighting the events leading up to the Career Ending Match between Macho Man and Ultimate Warrior. Back when Warrior was champion, Macho Man wanted a title shot and he attacked Warrior to get one. Sherri, in one of the most sexually dripping promos of all time, literally gets on her knees and begs Warrior for a title shot. He says no.

At the 91 Rumble, Warrior defended against Sgt. Slaughter. Sherri came out and got Warrior to chase her, allowing Savage to beat him up. Warrior winds up coming back and almost winning, but here comes Sherri again. He reaches to grab her and Savage pops up and blasts him in the head with his scepter, allowing Slaughter to drop an elbow and pin him for the title. That brings us here.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

If WM 6 was Warrior’s greatest match, this is his second greatest. Before the match though, Bobby Heenan sees none other than Miss Elizabeth sitting in the front row. She hadn’t been seen in the WWF in nearly a year at this point so this was very surprising. Amazingly enough, Heenan can spot her from at least 50 yards away, when the camera can barely recognize her 10 feet away. You have to love kayfabe.

Warrior walks to the ring which freaks everyone out. I’ve seen this match a few dozen times and it still works every single time. This feels totally epic which is exactly the idea. Warrior has the belt on the ass of his tights which he never would win again. Feeling out process to start as of course Warrior has the power advantage.

Warrior overpowers him to start and controls early on, much like Hogan did to Savage two years ago. In case I forgot this is a career ending match. How in the world did I forget to say that? Sherri comes in so Warrior throws Savage at her to send her back to the floor. We hit the floor where Savage tries to play mind games by throwing in a chair. That gets him nowhere.

All Warrior so far but it’s incredibly early so it means nothing at all. Savage finally gets Warrior to make a mistake and Warrior is sent to the floor. Sherri keeps interfering but thankfully they don’t throw the match out because of it. This is the largest PPV audience ever which is laughable to think they could know that halfway through the show but whatever.

Warrior cranks it up again and then does something very odd (I’m shocked too). With Savage down on one knee and with his head down, Warrior goes for a flying tackle which more or less looks like a flying headbutt because Savage is still down. It was just weird as hell looking and I have no idea what he was thinking at all. Anyway it lets Savage take over.

Double clothesline puts both guys down though. And now we pause to look at Sherri’s rather nice ass. In a nice nod to Mania 3, Savage gets rolled up off a slam but there’s no referee due to Sherri. There goes said referee so it’s a free for all now. Sherri takes off the shoe and goes up but it hits Savage in the head by mistake.

Savage gets a rollup for two as Heenan says he can’t even talk anymore which Gorilla doesn’t even reply to. You can tell he’s into this. We now hit one of the more famous parts of the match as Savage goes up and hits FIVE elbow drops from the top when I think only Hogan and George Steele (yes that George Steele) had ever kicked out of one.

The reaction from Heenan to the kick out is absolutely excellent. Savage is SHOCKED. Warrior Hulks Up and hits four or five clotheslines to take Savage down. Gorilla Press and splash only get two though and now Warrior is SHOCKED. Warrior looks up into the sky to ask “his gods” about whether it’s his time to leave and he walks out.

Savage jumps him instead and brings him back and we go on. Warrior is draped across the barricade but Savage misses and is more or less dead on his feet. Warrior throws his body back in and hits a bunch of BIG shoulder blocks with Savage selling like no one else could, making himself look like a rag doll. He hits the floor three times and is just dead. Warrior puts his foot on the chest and is triumphant. That’s the basis for KB vs. Sabre for you OCW fans.

Rating: A+. Combining the post match stuff with the match, this is easily the best segment to date in Wrestlemania history and is easily one of the best of all time. It’s a shame it’s almost forgotten today due to Vince’s vendettas against both guys. This is an absolute classic and DEFINITELY the best Mania match in a very long time. I’d put it maybe in the top five Mania matches in the WWF Era and easily top ten ever at this show. Great match and absolutely worth seeing.

The real memory of this match comes afterwards though in what is likely considered the most emotional moment in WWF history. Savage is still out cold in the ring and Sherri comes in and freaks out on him, saying that he ended her career too. Both commentators are saying to give him a break and that no one else, not even Hogan could have taken this kind of a beating and survived.

Sherri starts to kick him with her high heels when Savage couldn’t hold off a toddler at this point. With her beating Savage up, Miss Elizabeth jumps the guard rail and for the first time ever, attacks someone by throwing Sherri out of the ring as the crowd is stunned to see her. Savage tries to get up but doesn’t know who was beating on him. He turns to see Liz and almost falls to the ground again in shock.

The referee tells him it was Sherri kicking him and he’s even more confused. Liz opens her arms and after a few moments Savage hugs her as the crowd absolutely loses it. Savage puts her on his shoulders and there is nothing but cheering and crying from the crowd. Heenan is beside himself at “this sickening display.”

Finally they’re ready to leave and in the ultimate display of his love, Savage refuses to let Liz hold the ropes open for him as she did for years and instead holds them open for her, truly showing he’s a changed man. This is probably the best emotional moment ever at this point and still holds up to this day. Incredible stuff and again, definitely something worth seeing.

We go from one of the most emotional moments in wrestling history to… a debate on instant replay. Yes you read that right. Vince McMahon acts on moderator (C.M. > Vince) between Paul McGuire and George Steinbrenner of all people as they argue over instant replay.

During the debate, McGuire calls Steinbrenner a butt head, leading to Vince to call on his instant replay “officials” to review it. As this continues to spiral into udder stupidity, the Bushwackers are the officials. They say that there’s inconclusive evidence, therefore the insult stands. Finally this ends and we go back to the arena. This was somehow stupider than it sounds.

Trebek talks to Demolition who scares him off.

Regis talks to…….GENICHIRO TENRYU????? He’s here with Kitao who isn’t anyone special but I’ve heard of him. They can’t understand Regis.

Trebek is scared of Jake.

Demolition vs. Tenryu/Kitao

I know who the two Japanese wrestlers are, but why in the hell are they on Wrestlemania? Demolition was little more than jobbers at this point. After they lost the titles to the Harts at Summerslam 90 Ax had left so this is Smash and Crush. They had also gotten Mr. Fuji back at this point.

Crush and Kitao start us off here. Kitao is a big old boy too. Fuji gets a cane shot in almost immediately as it looks like dominance from Demolition to start. Heenan makes Japanese jokes as this is mostly dominance. Somehow Kitao is named Fred. Tenryu comes in and avoids the Decapitator and hits a big powerbomb on Crush to…get the pin? WOW. This was Demolition’s last match too. Odd as hell.

Rating: W. As in what were they thinking here? I know that Tenryu is a Japanese legend, but no one knew who he was at Wrestlemania. The crowd is silent when Demolition lost. This wasn’t even a loss but rather a squash. This whole match made absolutely zero sense.

Big Bossman says he’s coming for Heenan after he gets the IC Title.

Heenan says he’s not afraid of Bossman.

Intercontinental Title: Big Bossman vs. Mr. Perfect

Bossman is insanely over at this point having been running around with Hogan all through the second half of the year. Heenan had been talking trash about Bossman’s mama, and you don’t talk bad about a Southern boy’s mother. Bossman went to war with the Heenan Family and the only person left was their top wrestler, Mr. Perfect.

Considering Bossman weighs more than Kane, the stuff he can do in the ring is mind blowing. He moves like someone Chavo’s size. All signs point to this being the changing of the title. Perfect throws the towel at Boss Man so Boss Man spits at Perfect. Perfect’s selling goes insane of course and it works great. Boss Man throws some GREAT punches.

I feel like I’m watching a match on fast forward. A charge misses though and we slow things WAY down all of a sudden. Boss Man pulls his belt out which is allegedly a foreign object but I’m not sure how. It would seem perfectly legal to me as he brought it in with him didn’t he? There’s the abdominal stretch as the belt didn’t get Boss Man very far at all.

There’s that neck snap from Perfect which is always fun to see. Perfectplex is blocked though but Boss Man can’t get anything going at all. Perfect gets a reverse neck snap which we would more or less call a Blockbuster today. He goes up but does the jump into the boot spot to set up Boss Man’s comeback.

Perfect gets the tar punched out of him which doesn’t take much as I don’t think there’s much tar in him for the most part. Boss Man rams into the steps though and Heenan gets some shots in. The crowd pops like a cherry though as here comes Andre. Heenan LOSES IT and Andre grabs the belt just because he wants to. He DRILLS Perfect with it but the Heenan Family runs in for the save before Boss Man can get the title. The overly large faces clear the ring. Odd finish.

Rating: C-. This again is historic as it’s Andre’s last WM appearance. It really is sad to see him in such physically bad shape. He would be dead in less than two years, just after the debut of Monday Night Raw, I believe the day of the third show. For the life of me I do not get why Boss Man didn’t get the title here as every single sign on the planet would have pointed to it. No clue what the reasoning was here though.

We see Bossman and Andre saying that the war with Heenan isn’t over. Actually it was.

The following people are here and talked to by Gene:

Lou Ferrigno (the Incredible Hulk)
Donald Trump
Chuck Norris
Henry Winkler (FONZIE!!!!!)

What an odd grouping indeed.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

This is about as close to nothing as you can get. Hammer gets in a few elbows and then goes down with ease to the Earthquake splash. It was a squash that somehow went three minutes but you get the idea. There was a powerslam thrown in there somewhere. Hammer did manage to get Quake down and go for the Figure Four but it went nowhere. Why in the world is Valentine a face anyway?

Rating: N/A. Very little here and to have someone as good as Valentine reach this point in his career is kind of sad. Total squash despite the fact that Earthquake was about to become a tag team guy with Tugboat.

The LOD want the belts from the Nastys and they’re going to make Power and Glory sour and gory.

Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory

This match lasts less than a minute as LOD destroy Hercules and Paul “I was a Horsemen damnit” Roma. Back to back squashes though? Really? Match ran 59 seconds somehow and the Doomsday Device ended it.

Rating: N/A. The only thing keeping this above failing is the LOD’s music. They were so over it’s not even funny.

We recap the events leading up to DiBiase and Virgil. Over the years, Virgil did every disgusting thing that DiBiase told him to do and finally he snapped. Roddy Piper began encouraging him and we get to this match. At the Rumble Virgil and DiBiase had been a team and Virgil got pinned. DiBiase blamed him and told him to wrap the belt around his waist, but Virgil hit him with it instead.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase rarely ever lost at this point so this was viewed as a squash. Virgil actually goes on for ten minutes. Roddy Piper is in his corner on crutches as he had recently been in a motorcycle wreck. Virgil tags DiBiase with punches to start which are about all he’s got. DiBiase hits the floor as he’s all frustrated now.

Back in the ring and DiBiase takes down Virgil with a clothesline to get control for a bit. The common idea here was that Virgil couldn’t wrestle but he had been trained and was a regular wrestler in the indies before he came to WWF and had at least two matches before this one in a WWF ring. DiBiase gets a Piledriver as Virgil is in trouble.

Beautiful gutwrench suplex gets two. DiBiase sends him to the floor and then yells at Piper. He kicks out the crutch from under his leg to send him down because he’s a bad man. Piper hooks the top rope and Piper hits the floor. More yelling and shoving of men on crutches ends this though as we have a countout with Virgil winning in a shock.

Rating: C-. This feud was years in the making and the emotion was there, but it was on way too late in the card and the people wanted to see Hogan. Having Virgil get the win was huge though.

Slaughter and General Adnan, a.k.a. the Iron Sheik, say that there’s a new set of rules, and there’s a chance he might accidently get counted out or DQed tonight.

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

No point at all to this one but we’ll throw it in here to fill in some time. Tito runs Mountie around for a few seconds, Mountie can barely do anything, Jimmy slis him the shock stick and Mountie uses it on Santana and pins him. Absolutely no one gives a damn and neither do I. Only significance is Santana continues to have been at every Wrestlemania thus far which I think only Hogan is the other person to do so.

Rating: N/A. Nothing special here as it was a pure filler.

We finally get to the recap for Hogan and Slaughter. The main idea is that Slaughter is threatening to lose on purpose so Hogan doesn’t win the title. Slaughter is an Iraqi sympathizer so the feud was based off Operation Desert Storm, or as it’s more commonly known, the Gulf War. Pay no attention to the fact that the war was already over by this point.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Hmm. I think I may have to bet on this Slaughter guy. It seems likely that he’s going to win it as I think this Hogan chap is overmatched. Is there any reason as to why Alex Trebek is the guest announcer here? I mean dude, IT’S ALEX TREBEK! Anyway, Hogan of course is absolutely insanely over but that pop would start to die off rather soon.

Regis is on commentary for this which is even weirder. Long feeling out process as they feel out each other’s power. Hogan sends him to the floor which gets him a few good shots in. Slaughter begs off back in the ring but gets an eye rake like the evil….American that he is. Yeah this was kind of a weird setup. Heenan keeps talking about some party he’s having on Prime Time Wrestling.

Slaughter in control now as Regis shows that he has zero business being a commentator on the main event of Mania, as he has nothing to say. That’s not his fault of course, but he is just kind of there. No one wants to come to Bobby’s party. That’s rather amusing indeed. Hogan takes over again and does more or less nothing special at all.

A knee to the back sends Slaughter into the buckle. A slingshot makes him completely miss the post but we’ll say it hit anyway. After a good long beating, Hogan shows how stupid he can be and goes up to the middle rope which doesn’t work. He more or less no sells the shot Slaughter gets on him and goes to the top? What the hell??? Adnan interferes and Hogan pulls a Flair in a funny spot.

Slaughter Cannon sends Hogan to the floor. He beats the tar out of Hogan with a chair on the floor which gets him somewhere for a change. The referee won’t count him out or DQ him though. Well that’s certainly nice of him isn’t it? Back in the ring now with Slaughter hooking a Boston Crab after pounding away for awhile on the back.

You know this hold would look a bit more realistic and painful if Hogan wasn’t just barely beneath the rope and that by moving maybe 8 inches up the hold would be broken. Granted that might just be me overthinking this. Slaughter works on the back forever and gets a chair shot to the head to bust open Hulk. Can we please just get to him breaking the camel clutch and getting the title back?

THANK YOU! Slaughter gets his UNBREAKABLE, yes UNBREAKABLE I SAY, hold on Hogan who of course, just like he did to the Sheik, breaks it. Slaughter gets him down again (to humble him perhaps?) and drapes the Iraqi flag over him because he is a very stupid man. Hogan kicks out and you can fill in the blanks yourself.

Rating: C+. Easily more about symbolism, but there was one major flaw: the war was already over when this match took place. It was like TNA in levels of being behind the times. This was a fairly decent match though and I thought it worked well enough for what it was supposed to do. The Hogan pop was starting to die off though and it would become much clearer in the future.

Overall Rating: C. This really isn’t one of the great Manias but it has one of the best moments of all time. The problem in this Mania is the mid card is just awful. The big midcard match ended in a DQ and was a way to get Andre on the show. There’s just nothing here and with Savage stealing the show from Hogan again, it hurts the show a bit.

The complete lack of drama in the main event doesn’t help things either as Slaughter spent all night talking about losing on purpose and you never once see that in the main event. It’s not a bad show, but it’s far from great. Watch it for the Savage and Hogan matches and if you just need to kill some time, the opener.
 
I loved this WrestleMania, and thought the title matches were pretty good, and Savage's match was definitely among the greatest of all time. I don't remember the promos as much, but I definitely remember seeing Bret and Shawn breaking away from tag wrestling.

In a way, it's almost as if they killed modern tag wrestling. Vince struck gold with them, and probably figures that every team has one now. It's amazing to see how many true tag matches were on the old Mania cards.

I also just have one quick question. Was this the show where Slaughter got Hogan with the fireball afterwards? I remember it was a big show, but not which one.
 
Wrestlemania 8
Date: April 5, 1992
Location: Hoosierdome, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 62,167
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan
Star Spangled Banner: Reba McEntire

This was an interesting entry in the series as well. You could clearly see things beginning to change in the WWF at this point. Ric Flair had arrived and was the reigning WWF Champion, Hulk Hogan was talking about retirement, Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels were singles wrestlers, and a lot of the goofiness was gone. This show was billed as possibly Hogan’s farewell match which was a really strange thing to hear no matter who you were.

Hogan had been the face of the company for nearly ten years and the possibility of him leaving was a scary though. This show also was different in that it cut down the number of matches from 12-14 to 9, which cut out a lot of the mindless filler and gave more important matches more time. It was held under a dome, just like WM 3 and had a very large crowd.

The WWF Title wasn’t on the line in the last match of the show but rather in the middle, which was another rarity. Anyway, on with the show! A running joke of the show is that Elizabeth allegedly dated Ric and posed for nude photographs for him which Flair promised to show. To the best of my knowledge, nothing ever came of this.

We open with Reba McEntire singing the National Anthem which is a nice thing to hear again. She is eventually helped out of the ring by Tito “El Matador” Santana.

Tito Santana vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is finally full heel after the legendary barber shop window incident. You can tell Heenan is rolling tonight as he gets in a great line almost immediately by saying he things Tito and Reba are siblings. “Sure. That’s Arriba McEntire.” I love listening to Heenan when he’s on his game and he certainly is here. We get the old school orgasm sounding music with Sherri “singing.”

Shawn has challenged the winner of the IC Title match apparently. We waste some time as Sherri de-jackets Shawn. They imply there are some heel shenanigans coming. We get started and naturally it’s fast paced. A headlock keeps Tito in control and we have a special 900 number. There is some demon child shouting in an EVIL voice at Shawn and it’s kind of creepy.

Back in and Tito is dominating for the most part. We get a LONG headlock by Tito but they somehow keep it entertaining. That’s the difference between talented guys and generic guys: talented guys keep things moving even during things like these. They’re trying to get rollups and fight out of the hold and move around. They make it a contest which gives the fans something to keep their interest. That’s very important and separates the greats from the regulars.

Tito gets knocked over the top and is all dizzy headed. Where’s Jesse to say it’s because of a bad taco? Now Shawn hits the chinlock and has Tito in trouble. Tito gets up and walks into what would evolve into Sweet Chin Music. I guess here it’s Sour Jaw Humming? The Tear Drop Suplex, Shawn’s finisher, is blocked and the forearm connects to send Shawn to the floor.

Tito beats the tar out of him on the floor and gets a slingshot forearm/shoulder to have Shawn in real trouble. Shawn’s bumping like a madman because it’s Wrestlemania. The forearm hits and Shawn goes outside again. And then we get what has to be a botched ending as Tito goes to suplex him back in but Shawn falls on him for the pin. I guess Sherri was supposed to cheat but they messed it up somehow. That’s all I can come up with for that ending.

Rating: B-. Rather solid stuff here with both guys knowing exactly what to do out there. The scary thing is that Shawn would get about ten times better in about two or three years. This was fine for an opener and it worked well for what it was supposed to do. Good stuff from two good workers.

The Legion of Doom are tired of being off center. They bring back Paul Ellering. Who’s Paul Ellering you ask? That’s the same question most of the people have. What they fail to mention is Ellering was their manager during their hottest period in the NWA. Without knowing that, this interview makes little sense.

The Legion of Doom are tired of being off center. They bring back Paul Ellering. Who’s Paul Ellering you ask? That’s the same question most of the people have. What they fail to mention is Ellering was their manager during their hottest period in the NWA. Without knowing that, this interview makes little sense.

Jake Roberts isn’t afraid of the Undertaker. This feud goes back a long way actually. Roberts and Taker had both been heels and had crashed Savage’s and Liz’s wedding. Jake and Savage had a match, after which Jake was waiting backstage to hit Liz with a chair. Taker stopped this, turning face in the process.

Jake had been a guest on Taker’s show, The Funeral Parlor. He had locked Taker’s hand in a casket and DDTed Paul Bearer before attacking Taker with a chair. This did absolutely nothing though. Taker says Jake needs to be ready to meet his maker. It’s Jake’s last match as he would go to WCW and fight Sting for awhile in a totally forgotten feud.

Undertaker vs. Jake Roberts

Talk about a contrast between the previous match and this one. This likely isn’t going to be anything special at all to put it mildly. Bobby suggests Jake has a chance here. That’s so cute. We hit the floor almost immediately with Taker dominating. He’s the face here if I didn’t mention that.

Pure dominance here as we get Munsters and Addams Family references from Heenan, who feels like he has two brilliant minds on occasion. This match is meandering pretty badly here. DDT out of NOWHERE and the crowd is stunned. Could the Streak be over at one??? Taker sits up before Jake gets to his feet which is unthinkable.

Short arm clothesline and Taker is up again. Jake PLANTS him with another DDT and goes after Paul. Taker sits up again. If those had been KB DDTs he would have stayed down. Taker goes after Jake and a Tombstone on the floor ends Jake’s WWF run in emphatic style. The pin is of course academic.

Rating: D+. Nothing that great here but I’ve seen worse. They were still going for ways to make Taker look awesome as they had no idea what to do with him. They knew he was something special and he’s a former WWF Champion but at the same time, what do you do with him? It was a problem they had until a guy named Mankind showed up.

Brutus Beefcake is here for some reason.

We see a double interview with IC Champion Roddy Piper and challenger Bret Hart. Bret is serious and Roddy isn’t. This doesn’t sit well with Bret and we’re ready to go. There are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches mentioned, making me hungry.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Staredown to start as this should be awesome to put it mildly. Arm drag by Piper to start which surprises Bret to put it mildly. Bret does the same and down goes Piper. This is shaping up well. Gorilla gives his strategy for the match from both perspectives. Heenan: I’d nail them out back with a tire iron.

After some nice amateur stuff Piper spits at Bret to make sure everyone knows he’s the heel. Test of Strength which is odd to see from guys like this. Bret grabs the arm and Piper can’t fight out of it. Gorilla lists off some of the countries that are watching Mania which is always cool to hear.

Bret hurts his shoulder on an armdrag and of course was faking as Heenan predicted. It results in a small package for two and Piper is hot. Bret gets a cross body and we hit the floor. Back in and Hart adjusts his boot, allowing Piper to lay in an uppercut to be the definite heel in this. That’s certainly the right choice at least. STIFF punch to the face follows.

Bulldog puts Bret down and he’s in trouble. Bret is busted BAD which was an unauthorized blade job but Bret lied and said it was hardway to avoid a fine or suspension. Flair bladed later on and nearly got fired over it. Bret gets a sunset flip out of nowhere to break Piper’s momentum but it just ticks him off and the beating continues.

Heenan again suggests going to get a chair and blast Bret with it. Bret gets a forearm out of nowhere to send Piper to the floor as the demon child from the Shawn match is at it again, this time in the pink corner. Both guys go down and Piper’s head is on Bret’s stomach but it’s not classified as a cover for no apparent reason. Heenan counts anyway but it doesn’t count of course because that’s not the finish.

Piper goes up so Bret drags him down by the hair. FREAKING…..nah it wasn’t that bad. Snap suplex gets two. Bret unleashes the Five Moves of Doom but the Sharpshooter is blocked. Well of course it was as he didn’t go for the elbow yet. He tries it out of order and gets caught by a boot. They slug it out from their knees and Bret takes control again.

Down goes the referee as we set up the ending. Bret eats steps and it’s all Piper here. Piper grabs the bell but can’t bring himself to swing it, thus preserving his face status. Heenan: “WHAT THE HELL, USE THE BELL! HIT HIM! WAFFLE HIM WITH IT! GIVE IT TO ME I’LL HIT HIM WITH IT!” Piper opts for a sleeper instead but Bret climbs up the ropes and backflips onto Piper for the pin to regain the title.

Rating: A. This match is as solid as they come. There’s very little that I find wrong with it aside from possibly the ending. Piper not using the bell was perfect, but after that it’s like they were told they had to end it immediately, which to me wasn’t good. Aside from that brief moment though, this was an excellent match.

Piper gives Bret the belt post match.

Bobby Heenan has a surprise, and he introduces via satellite, Lex Luger. Lex is a totally arrogant bastard here and he does it perfectly. This takes far longer than it should have.

Duggan, Slaughter, Virgil and Bossman make generic insults to their opponents.

The Nasties, Repo Man and Mountie counter with even weaker promos.

Duggan/Slaughter/Virgil/Big Bossman vs. Nasty Boys/Repo Man/The Mountie

Good night who picked these teams? It’s like a great shit sandwich of the undercard. This match is introduced by Ray Combs who was a popular game show host at the time. He makes some bad jokes at the expense of the heels. One decent line: “Repo Man was an unwanted child. His parents were hoping for a boy.”

My goodness how far have these guys fallen since last year? Nastys were tag champions, Mountie had been the IC Champion earlier that year, Bossman was in the IC Title match last year and Virgil had a fairly high profile match. Quadruple clothesline takes down everyone not named Repo Man. There are going to be WWF guys on Family Feud against World Bodybuilding guys.

Duggan vs. Sags starts us off officially. It’s a huge trainwreck of course with no real reason for anyone to be in there against anyone as none of these people were feuding at all. Everyone fights everyone for a little bit and nothing stands out whatsoever. Everything goes insane of course and the Nasties screw up, allowing Virgil to pin Knobbs.

Rating: F. No one cared and the match was a mess. This has to be a sold out crowd now with as much filler as we just saw. Awful match and at least it was short.

We recap Flair vs. Savage. Flair had arrived in November with the WCW Title, which is one of the most complicated stories in wrestling history so I’ll stay out of why he was allowed to have it, and claimed he was the REAL world champion. Due to him helping Taker beat Hogan for the WWF Title and the controversial way that Hogan won it back, the title was declared vacant. The winner of the 92 Rumble would be the new champion. Flair wins after Sid eliminated Hogan and Hogan pulls out Sid.

Flair and Perfect have a picture that is allegedly Liz from photos that she gave him before she met Macho. They had threatened to put these up on the big screen for everyone to see. This had been built up for months as the main feud in the company with neither one really having a clear advantage.

Flair had all these stories about he and Liz and some clearly doctored photos of the two, but nothing ever concrete. Macho Man won’t talk to Gene. However he will talk for a Coliseum Video exclusive. He says nothing of note.

This was supposed to be Hogan vs. Flair. Why that match never took place has never really been answered for sure, but the common answer is that the WWF started a real steroid policy and Hogan knew he was in trouble. After this show he took a near 8 month hiatus from the company, which even furthers that theory.

WWF World Title: Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

What makes this match work even better is Heenan’s completely biased announcing. He doesn’t even pretend to be fair and it’s great. Savage jumps him in the aisle but Perfect makes the save. Totally personal feud here and even more proof that Hogan wasn’t needed to have a dramatic and great storyline for the world title. Savage no sells an atomic drop and hits a clothesline to take over.

Savage is even more insane here than usual if you can imagine that. Flair manages to backdrop Savage over the top to break his momentum though as Heenan cheers him on. There’s no Liz in sight at the moment. Flair chops away and Savage is in some trouble. Heenan is drooling over the thought of seeing the centerfolds of Liz that Flair promised.

Flair sends him to the floor and keeps working on the back. Total dominance here as Savage is sent back in. Savage gets a punch in and the fans pop huge just for that. A neckbreaker out of nowhere puts Flair down. Heenan needs a drink. He must have never been thirsty in WCW. Flair is slammed off the top with Savage stepping onto the bottom rope which isn’t something I’ve ever seen before.

Savage unleashes the clotheslines and even gets one as Flair is coming off the top for a long two. Heenan nearly had a heart attack off of that one. Savage sends him to the floor and hits the double axe to send Flair into the railing. He CLEARLY blades on camera which was a huge ordeal backstage as it wasn’t authorized at all and they nearly fired him over it. It’s a good one too.

Double axe off the top gets two. Crowd is WAY into this. The elbow hits but Perfect dives in for the save at the last possible second. Hebner doesn’t throw it out though and all three of the heels are furious. Perfect throws Flair an illegal object and Savage is knocked out cold….FOR TWO! The place erupts on the kickout and Heenan is beside himself.

Perfect grabs a chair and drills Savage in the knee (although it looked like he hit the knee that Savage isn’t holding) and the challenger is in trouble. Here comes Liz! A group of suits try to stop her, and one of them looks like a big dollar sign. As he’s coming down the aisle, he looks like money. You would be able to say HERE COMES THE MONEY. (It’s Shane McMahon if you have no idea what I’m going on aboug).

Flair goes after the knee like a shark smelling a big pile of Shark Chow and the Figure Four goes on. Like an IDIOT, Flair slaps Savage for not staying down. After literally being in the hold for over a minute Savage turns him over as Perfect cheats for the second time in the hold. Flair goes for a slam but Savage grabs a small package for two as the crowd is losing their collective mind.

Flair WOOs at Liz and hammers away even more. Knee Crusher (to the wrong leg) but Savage spins around and grabs a rollup with a handful of trunks (as we see Flair’s ass AGAIN) to win the title again and blow the damn roof off. Post match Flair hits on Liz and she slaps the hell out of him. Perfect and Flair beat the tar out of Savage post match.

Rating: A+. I don’t love it as much as IC does, but this was amazing stuff. It went on forever and never got boring. The main big thing about this match is simple: there was a huge feud and title match, without Hulk Hogan. That hadn’t happened in almost 10 years and it proved that the WWF could live without him.

That being said, this is a totally underrated classic with both guys going insane and Savage fighting through impossible odds to win the title that he deserved. This was great stuff and of course it goes on halfway through the show as a world title change pales in comparison to Hogan vs. a monster right? Go watch this match as it’s awesome on a ton of levels.

Post match we get two of the best promos I've ever seen. You need to see these.



This feud was absolutely amazing on a ton of levels and the matches being great only pushed that further.

We see a clip from the Wrestlemania “press conference” where the #1 contender to the world title was named. Hogan was named the challenger and Sid was furious. He turned on Hogan in a tag match on SNME in a bad match where Hogan managed to beat Flair and Taker on his own afterwards.

Sid destroyed the Barber Shop set and got shampoo all over his face in a typically bad Sid bit. He destroyed a bunch of jobbers to bad 80s music apparently. And that of course transitions us to this.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

We get a pure filler here. Heenan’s commentary here is great as he’s trying to be deadly serious but any mention of Flair sets him off. Tatanka has Native Americans with him, despite no one caring at all. Martel just doesn’t care at all here and I can’t say I blame him at all.

If you ever want a textbook example of going through the motions, look right here. Neither care and while they’re not being lazy per se, there’s no story or spark in this match. It’s literally two guys performing moves on each other. Tatanka gets a roll up for the pin. I know that’s short but seriously, NOTHING happened here and there was no point to it being here.

Rating: D. They were kind of trying, but it kind of sucked. Nothing great here at all and just a filler after the title changing hands. Boring as hell match and no one could have cared less. Well ok they probably could but it wouldn’t have been by much.

We see Money Inc. saying that they’re ready for the Natural Disasters. DiBiase is completely different than he was just a year ago, but it works just fine all the same.

The Natural Disasters are coming for the belts.

Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc.

Heenan is still pissed and it’s still funny. Gorilla singes the praises of the challengers (the big fat guys) which more or less secures their loss here. Quake and IRS start but DiBiase comes in soon afterwards. The challengers overpower DiBiase who runs of course like a scared little girly man.

The big guys dominate as you would expect them to with Quake shoving DiBiase all over the place and then doing the same to IRS for awhile. Typhoon comes in and due to his high level of suck the champions beat him down pretty easily. This isn’t really going anywhere at all.

False hot tag to Earthquake gets us nowhere as we’re waiting to get to the ending so we can get to the “main event” because Hogan has to close out Mania right? Not much of a match going on here with a totally dead crowd. Finally we get the tag to Earthquake, the fat guys dominate and the champions leave to take the countout loss.

Rating: D-. Bad, bad match that no one wanted to see. The whole thing felt like it was weighed down by more weight than half of the Disasters weight multiplied by two. This went nowhere at all. The Disasters would get the titles eventually at a house show.

Brutus Beefcake reaffirms Hogan’s divineness.

Owen Hart vs. Skinner

This might last 90 seconds. Skinner hits a reverse DDT that does nothing. Hart rolls him up using the ropes and pins him. This was nothing.

Rating: N/A. Nothing at all here and a waste of time that could have gone to a real match.

Want to join the WWF Fan Club? Actually it does look pretty sweet.

Sid Justice is just hilarious. Anyone that calls Gene a fat blubbering stupid oaf is nothing but sweet.

We see an interview with Hogan and Vince from a week ago as Hulk teases that he’s retiring soon. Sid says damn.

The point of this match is simple: Sid threw Hogan out of the Rumble and Hogan then pulled Sid out of the Rumble, giving Flair the belt. On a SNME, they teamed up to face Flair and Taker. Sid bailed on Hogan, who somehow still won the match. That brings us here. Hogan has talked about retiring, so this could be his last match. Sid jumps Hogan while his music is still playing. Hogan comes back to his music which is really pretty sweet.

Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice

The match is about what you would expect from these two. Hogan jumps Sid to start and beats him up while the music is playing. We finally slow things down with Sid taking over using, you guessed it, power moves. It’s all either guy can do so that’s what they went with of course.

We go back and forth to start, Sid takes over for awhile, and then Hogan comes back. Test of Strength gets us nowhere. Sid lands a move that I don’t think anyone had seen before in the WWF. It’s like a slam while he’s choking him. I can’t think of a name to use for it though. Anyone have any ideas?

Sid pounds away on Hogan for a good while as you would expect him to. We head to the floor for a bit and nothing happens at all. Now we hit the EVIL nerve hold that doesn’t really do anything. Hogan has had that put on him by people far more useless than Sid though so this gets Sid nowhere at all. Sidewalk Slam gets Sid out of trouble.

Hogan kicks out of Sid’s powerbomb, which was also a very rare move at the time. Hogan makes his standard comeback leading to the boot and slam. Sid kicks out of the legdrop! Sid’s manager Harvey WHipleman interferes causing the DQ, when all of a sudden Papa freaking Shango comes out for the double team.

As they beat on him, for absolutely no good reason the Warrior returns for the first time since about June for the save. This was a legitimate shock as no one believed that he was coming back. It definitely worked though and is a great surprise to end Mania, but it set up no more contact between Hogan and Warrior as far as I can remember. Double pose down to end the show.

Rating: D. It’s Hogan at Mania so it’s at least watchable. The original ending was Hogan has Sid beaten and Shango breaks up the pin for the DQ, but Shango missed his cue. Sid wasn’t being an ass when he kicked out. He simply didn’t have another option. The ending made little sense though. It led to Warrior vs. Shango (which I was at the blowoff match), yet why Shango attacked was never explained.

As for the match, this was pretty freaking bad. No one bought this as the real main event but it’s Hogan so he has to go on last. The Warrior returning was a great thing but at the end of the day it should have been overshadowed by Savage and the title change. I’m not surprised though. After all it is Hogan.

Overall Rating
: B-. It’s certainly not bad, but it’s nothing epic. Why, in Hogan’s last match, wouldn’t he go over clean? The Warrior returning meant nothing at all either. However, the rest of the show has some absolute gems in it. Make sure you see the IC and World Title matches as both are classics.

This show led to Savage holding the title over the Summer yet rarely defending it. Flair would win it back in the Fall before dropping it to Bret Hart just under a year later. Shawn’s singles debut is obviously a big deal and the fillers go by quick. Of the 9 matches, 6 are pretty good if not great so this is an obvious recommendation
 
I will always remember WM7 for the great Savage/Warrior match and I was extreamly dissapointed when Savage lost, but I had the feeling he would be back and a while later he was, so I was okay. I will always remember the stupid blindfold match but at 11 years old I loved it and watching it live was fun, but watching it now is painful. Not much to say about this WM besides it was Undertakers first and Hogan won back his World's Championship......
 
Wrestlemania 9
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

This is considered to be one of the weakest Wrestlemanias in history and I think that’s an accurate statement. Looking at the announced card, which was only eight matches long, I only see 2-3 that I would put on a Wrestlemania. Your main event for this evening is Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna, which is ok, but just doesn’t scream WM main event to me.

What amazes me the most about it though was this show was so packed they had to cancel one of the matches: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Kamala. The theme of the show is the world’s largest toga (toga, toga, toga) party. Why does this scream BAD IDEA to me? Seriously, what’s the point behind this? It made the show seem stupid overall, but that’s just me. Anyway, let’s get started.

Our show opens with no National Anthem or America the Beautiful. What a crock already. After that, we see Gorilla Monsoon in a toga. God help me. He is our host for the evening, whatever that means. He welcomes us to the show, and throws it over to….Jim Ross? This was Ross’ debut and I vividly remember being stunned to see him in the WWF as he had been the commentator for WCW my entire life.

Ross runs down the double main event of Hogan and Beefcake vs. Money Inc. for the tag belts and the already mentioned WWF Title match. He throws it to Finkus Maximus, which is something even I couldn’t make up, who introduces Caesar and Cleopatra on an elephant, which Ross gives us a history lesson on. Macho Man is then introduced riding a sedan which is like a couch that’s carried as beautiful women feed him grapes.

Then in one of the funniest scenes in WWF history, Bobby Heenan comes in on a camel, but for some reason he’s riding it backwards. He gets to the broadcast position and is a mess, which is kind of funny. Finally, after almost 10 minutes of intros, it’s time for a match.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka

Michaels had dumped Sherri since last year but now is accompanied by Luna Vachon, who is proof that not all divas are hot. Tatanka is out next and he has never lost a one on one match. Sherri follows Tatanka out, yet it’s made clear she’s not with him. So they have stalkers now. Hey they match! Tatanka had pinned Shawn twice leading up to this match, once in a singles match and once in a 6 man.

Some of Savage’s comments to Heenan, such as shut up camel breath are just funny to me. There’s the first bell, eleven minutes into the show. The outside look is really cool here. They feel each other out at a rather fast pace to start. Top wristlock goes to Shawn and he follows it up with a headlock. Down to the mat with Shawn totally in control.

Tatanka gets a belly to back to escape and a SWEET counter of a top rope clothesline with an arm drag. Shawn to the floor and the girls have a staredown of awkward proportions. Back in and the stereotype works over Shawn’s arm which is apparently hurt coming into this one. Shawn hits a clothesline but it hurts him even further so it wasn’t worth it at all. Anytime Shawn gets something going he hurts his arm again, this time ramming it into the post.

Bobby: She (Luna) is something. Ross: Yeah what is she? Tatanka gets a shoulder breaker out of nowhere but drops an elbow instead of covering. Top rope chop but still no cover. He goes up again and jumps down into what we would call Sweet Chin Music. Today that would kill a guy and be on a highlight reel for years but here it’s just a momentum changer. Luna and Sherri do nothing of note again during a staredown.

Clothesline from the apron to the floor takes down Tatanka. Shawn yells at Sherri and gets a chinlock for awhile. Modified victory roll gets two as this is getting a lot of time. Another victory roll is countered into an electric chair drop to put both guys down again. Double axe by Shawn gets nothing as Tatanka stereotypes up.

Superkick is blocked and Tatanka gets a top rope cross body for a long two. Slingshot puts Shawn into the post and gets a very close two. Powerslam gets an even closer two. This is getting really good now and Tatanka is sent to the floor. Shawn shoves the referee and Tatanka gets the Papoose to Go for the CHEAP DQ! Damn it that was good stuff and got nearly 20 minutes.

Rating: B+. Very solid match that got the time it needed. If it had a real ending, this would be an automatic A. Tatanka was something interesting. He didn’t lose for his first two years which is an amazing streak, longer than even Goldberg’s. Shawn wasn’t quite up to the level of awesome he would reach but it was coming soon. He benefited a lot from the advent of Raw as it gave him a bigger way to get noticed and to put it mildly, it worked. Well that and Razor Ramon plus a ladder.

Luna beats up Sherri post match.

The Steiners say they’re going to beat the Headshrinkers.

Headshrinkers vs. Steiners

Pretty random tag match here but it works ok I guess. It’s your standard face team vs. heel team so that’s fine. We get the first use of JR’s code saying it’s going to be a slobberknocker, meaning it’s going to be awful from a wrestling standpoint. I was always a Headshrinkers mark for some reason, just always liked them.

Scott and Fatu start us off. Steiners control early on which is expected. Oh I forgot to mention: Fatu of the Headshrinkers is more commonly known as Rikishi. In a NICE looking move, Scott and Rick both go up the same corner and hits stereo clotheslines on the Headshrinkers. Nice one indeed. We get breaking news that Luna attacked Sherri again, and somehow, I’m more interested in the match at hand. What a stunner.

Afa rams his guys’ heads together to wake them up a bit. The referee is Bill Alfonso, who you might know as Fonzie from ECW. He was RVD’s overly hyper manager. Samu gets a splash in the corner and Rick just drills him with a clothesline. Afa blasts Scott with what would become known as a kendo stick. Savage gets upset, Heenan doesn’t see the Headshrinkers cheating which is one of his trademarks.

Heenan says he can’t see right with sunglasses on and JR says he saw it too. Heenan says JR is wrong because he’s from Oklahoma. JR’s reaction is priceless. Out to the floor for more pounding on White Thunder. Scott slams one of their heads into the mat and gets kicked in the jaw with a sweet kick for it.

Heenan says his head is like Prudential. Savage: I don’t know what that means. Bobby: It means the rock is hard. Savage: I didn’t ask you Heenan. The commentary for this match is light years ahead of the match itself. Samu gets a dropkick to show off a bit. Off to the nerve hold now, a Samoan trademark. Heenan says Oklahoma is a suburb of Kentucky, which offends JR for some reason.

Samu goes up but misses the big headbutt and there’s the tag to Rick and an eruption. He rams their heads together which is of course, STUPID. Dude learn your stereotypes. Headshrinkers hit a double team version of the move we call the Stroke, leading to one Headshrinker putting Rick on their shoulders for what we would call a Doomsday Device. In a freaking SWEET counter, Rick catches Fatu in the air from on top of Samu’s shoulders in a belly to belly suplex. Looked just absolutely sick.

Back to Scott who nearly kills Fatu with a belly to belly overhead. Scott suddenly remembers he’s better than Rikishi and hits a Frankensteiner, which might be the most impressive move that anyone has ever regularly done, to get the pin. It’s a standing hurricanrana by a guy of Scott Steiner’s size. Think about that.

Rating: B+. I liked this match a lot. Both teams are very solid and some of the stuff they did in this match was simply great. Top level stuff here which surprises me greatly. The Steiners are just scary good when they’re on their game and this is no exception. That powerslam/suplex spot by Rick is absolutely amazing.

Doink the Clown is a screwed up individual. He dresses up a Caesar statue in clown makeup and we get a recap of Doink vs. Crush. Doink also says Crush will be seeing double vision.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

Crush had one of the best looks of anyone I’d seen from this era. He seriously could have been something special if he’d cared even a little bit at all. He was a decent wrestler with good size and power. I’ve never gotten why he didn’t pan out. Definitely a solid face challenger if nothing else. At about 6’6 and over 300lbs, he was quick and very strong. What’s not to like here?

Doink runs around the ring to start but gets caught by the big Hawaiian that I think Savage wants to make sweet love to down by the pond. Crush beats the holy hell out of Doink for the majority of the match with basic power stuff. His finishing move was a head crushing move which was always kind of odd but it worked I guess.

The clown gets a guillotine clothesline and starts a comeback here, but it doesn’t mean much. In case I wasn’t clear here, Crush is the face in this match. A pretty weak looking Piledriver keeps Crush down for a bit and then he’s sent into the post. Doink jumps into a boot though and here comes the big man.

Doink tries to hide under the ring but gets caught. Back in the ring, Crush uses his head vice finisher on Doink but the ref got bumped. Another Doink comes out and hits Crush in the back with a cast then in the head. This leads to a pin for the real Doink. They check under the ring, where the other Doink came from and went to. They check and no Doink.

Rating: D. A Squash leading to a bad ending means not a good match. This feud went nowhere for the most part and I think it went on until at least the King of the Ring. Crush would soon start a big push which stalled like no other for some reason. Still though, this was really bad.

Todd Pettingil talks to some Japanese fans and after the WWF makes bad racial jokes, Razor Ramon is headed to the ring.

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

It’s total filler with no backstory but it’s Backlund in his first Mania match which is impressive since he’s in his early to mid 40s. Razor is the heel here but to put it mildly, he’s very popular. And yet Backlund would be the next guy to win the world title.

Backlund offers a handshake to start but Razor throws a toothpick instead. This is before he had gone insane if you didn’t get that. BIG Razor chant starts up and of course isn’t acknowledged. Backlund keeps tripping him up and does his stupid little dance. I never got the point of that at all but he always did it.

Razor stomps away after a slam. Bret Hart was knocked out cold by Luger at the Mania brunch today. This wasn’t ever addressed after this for some reason. Backlund gets a butterfly suplex which was kind of impressive. Atomic drop, his former finisher, gets no cover. In a great ending, Razor gets a small package out of nowhere to end it. Heenan gets in a great line: he beat the wrestler with a wrestling move.

Rating: C-. Not great but not awful, the ending gives this a decent grade. It’s not terrible and the ending surprised me. Razor had debuted just after Mania 8 and was pushed to the moon. He even got a title shot at the Rumble this year in a forgotten match. The breaking news during this match of Bret being knocked out earlier in the day leads to nothing. The last line of he beat the wrestler with wrestling was great.

In the back we see Gene with Money Inc. The feud they’re involved in at the moment began on a Monday Night Raw (The first Mania that can be said at as the show debuted about 3 months prior to this) when DiBiase tried to hit Beefcake with a briefcase.

Beefcake had been legitimately huge in a parasailing accident over a year ago and his face was badly injured. This led to a great Heenan line of, “It serves him right. His face has hurt me for years.” This attack led to Beefcake getting his friend Hulk Hogan to return to help him.

Also Jimmy Hart jumped from Money Inc to Hogan and Beefcake. Lastly, the night before the show, Hogan was injured, resulting in huge bruises around his eye. Now what really happened to him?

According to the storyline, DiBiase hired a bunch of people to attack him. The WWF said he was hurt in a jetski accident. The common theory in wrestling circles though is Savage thought Hogan and Liz (his real wife) were having an affair and beat the hell out of Hogan. Believe what you will.

Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Hulk Hogan and Brutus Beefcake

We get red smoke and Heenan says that can only mean one person. Then Jimmy Hart walks out. Just made me chuckle a bit. This is Hogan’s first match in a year and the pop kind of sucks. It’s big, but not mind blowing. The heels jump the heroes before the bell but Hogan and Beefcake fight them off with the music playing which always makes me mark out like a bitch. There’s just something sweet about that.

We get to the real match which is actually quite good. I think just about everyone expected Hogan and Beefcake to somehow take the belts here. Money Inc. had absolutely dominated the tag division for over a year at this point so they were seen as very legit. The champions stall forever to get us started. That’s about what you would expect no?

Hogan’s eye looks terrible. IRS vs. Beefcake start us off. The champions beat him down and tag in and out but for some reason they don’t go after the face that much at all. IRS tries to hit him in the face like a very stupid man indeed. Beefcake takes over and off to Hogan who gets ten punches in the corner on the Million Dollar Man. It’s about five years too late but I guess it’s better than nothing.

More fast tagging by the challengers and Hogan gets a double axe off the middle rope to DiBiase who is getting destroyed here. They clear the ring again as this is one sided after a few minutes of the champions winning early on. The champions try to leave and we get the ten count thing like we did last year I think. Scratch that as it was at Summerslam.

Hogan vs. DiBiase again. Good old fashioned cheating has Money Inc right back in control though. Hogan does what he does best: gets his ass kicked. LONG Million Dollar Dream puts him down but he shakes his finger to get back up. He must be in that thing for two minutes or so. Beefcake comes in to put a sleeper on DiBiase to drive Heenan crazy.

Why does everything seem to go into slow motion during a Hogan match? It takes like a minute and a half to get the hot tag to Beefcake. IRS comes in as well and a cheap shot gives the champions the advantage again. Beefcake’s protective mask gets ripped off and his face gets beaten into oblivion which is always a good thing. Love him or hate him, the guy bumps like a master.

Beefcake finally gets a sleeper on IRS but DiBiase breaks it up causing the ref to go down. Hogan comes in and cleans house leading to a double cover. Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out, which just happens to be black and white striped in the biggest coincidence of ALL time (you have to say ALL time at any WM. It’s the law) and apparently they think that’s good enough to make him a referee.

Some twat of a referee comes out and ruins our celebration saying that there’s a DQ as Hogan used Beefcake’s metal mask to knock out Money Inc. Jimmy Hart beats up the other referee and we get Hogan’s music. Post match, Hogan poses and they steal IRS’ briefcase, which contains a brick and money.

Supposedly the brick caused it to hurt a lot worse, because of course hitting someone WITH A SOLID METAL BRIEFCASE didn’t hurt enough. There’s also money in it which Hogan gives to the fans. This literally goes on well over 5 minutes.

Rating: C+. This is a good tag match which is absolutely stunning in its own right. Hogan put on a great performance here as did Brutus. Money Inc was as great as ever and it boils down to a solid match. The main thing killing it was the ending. I mean REALLY?

Hogan hits has Jimmy get the pin and he celebrates? Dude, come the hell on now.It was really the best option, but I still hate it. This match works for one simple reason: it’s nearly 20 minutes long. Both faces get beaten down and we get a double comeback. There’s very little missing from it actually.

Mr. Perfect says he’ll break Luger’s winning streak.

Mr. Perfect vs. Lex Luger

The main perk here is Luger’s entrance with four chicks holding mirrors in gold thongs. Not bad at all. This sounds awesome on paper if nothing else. Luger has knocked out everyone he’s faced so far with the metal plate in his forearm. They fight over a wristlock to start and it’s a standoff. Big shot by Perfect and a knee lift sets up a dropkick and Luger hits the floor.

We talk about baseball as Heenan tries to explain the whole knockout thing and he says Savage knows a thing or two about baseball. That’s very true as he played in some minor leagues for White Sox, Reds and Cardinals organizations. Quite an athlete indeed. Perfect works on the knee which is smart as he can’t get knocked out from there.

LOUD chop by Perfect as he has controlled for the vast majority so far. As is my custom he gets reversed on a hard whip into the corner to give Luger the control. He gets a shot with the loaded arm into the back of Perfect to really take over. Backbreaker puts Perfect down even longer.

Perfect can’t keep anything going and Luger gets a cover with his feet on the ropes for two which Heenan blasts to no end. Powerslam gets two. Sunset flip gets two for Perfect and then hooks a sleeper for all of 2 seconds. Perfect keeps getting pin attempts but can’t get more than two on them. A slingshot puts luger into the buckle for two.

Missile dropkick gets a long two as Luger gets his foot on the rope. No heat at all on that either. They fight over a backslide and Luger leans forward enough to put Perfect’s feet in the ropes so that he can’t kick out for the pin. Post match Luger knocks him out with the forearm.

Rating: C-. Long and at least passable, but I couldn’t stand Luger’s gimmick at the time. The forearm was just a dumb way to end every single match and this is no exception. This was ok but it was really spotty at times and it never got into a flow at all. I’ve seen worse though.

Perfect goes looking for Luger. And for once he finds him and the fight is on again. Shawn jumps Perfect, starting their summer long feud.

Gorilla pops up for no reason at all other than to tell us what two matches are left.

We recap Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzales. Undertaker feuded with Kamala in the fall and beat him. Harvey Whippleman, Kamala’s manager said he would get revenge, so at the Royal Rumble he brought out Gonzalez, who boardered on 7’8. He beat the hell out of Taker and eliminated him, leading to this match.

The feud doesn’t end here as it would finally be settled at the Survivor Series in a Rest in Peace match, which meant No DQ. In case you’re wondering where you’ve heard this story before, it’s THE EXACT same thing that happened with Muhammad Hassan, which led to Mark Henry who combined to play the role of Kamala and then the Great Khali as Gonzalez.

They had a manager that wanted revenge on Taker, then Taker got beaten up by them, then won a no rules match. That’s why old fans didn’t like the Taker/Khali feud: we knew exactly what was coming and we were exactly right.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

This is the first Wrestlemania entrance for Undertaker where he’s brought out in a chariot with a vulture on his shoulder which was REALLY cool for its time and is still awesome today. This should sum up how big Gonzalez was: Taker is a big old dude and he comes up to Gonzalez’s chest. Clubbing blows get him nowhere and here comes Taker.

Gonzalez chokes Taker who gets on the second rope to choke back but gets a low blow for his trouble down in his little demons. A low blow is no sold and we go to School (In 1993 the School wasn’t old yet). This was in that really weird period that stretched to about 1996 when Foley got there where they had no idea what to do with Undertaker so they just had him fight giants.

Giant chokes Taker down until the Urn goes up into the air. Taker goes into the steps on the floor as it’s ALL Gonzalez. Heenan proclaims him dead and almost has a heart attack when Taker is like bitch I’m the Undertaker and just stands up and keeps beating on Gonzalez. Taker beats him down before Harvey throws in a cloth covered in chloroform which puts Taker down but it’s a DQ anyway. Yep this is bad.

Rating: F+. The match itself was just bad as there was one simple flaw: Gonzalez was just terrible. He was too big to be able to properly do anything in the ring and it showed badly here. It’s the only thing close to a blemish on Taker’s Mania record and that’s a shame. The idea that the commentators could smell a small rag in an open area like that is ludicrous to say the least, especially after all of 5 seconds of it being out.

Taker stays down for a long time with Gonzalez standing over him in triumph. They stretcher him out which isn’t something you see every day. The fans chant for Hogan for a bit, but then a gong rings. Today that would blow the roof off the place (despite there being no roof here) but here it only gets a solid pop. He staggers out and beats the hell out of Gonzalez which makes me wonder: WHY IN THE HELL DID THEY DO THE DQ ENDING???

Gene recaps the feud with Hart and Yoko, and then Hulk Hogan makes sure he has the spotlight at the end of the show as he has to talk about how he’s in Bret’s corner. Oh and he calls Yokozuna a Jap.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yoko wins this shot based on winning the Rumble. When you look back, there was absolutely no doubt who was going to win here. The idea is that Bret has no chance and they’ve spent the entire show telling us that Bret has no chance. Guess what happens in the match.

The problem with this match is very simple: Yoko is too damn big for Bret to do much with. Bret’s offense is completely unbelievable here and that’s not a knock on him as no one for the most part could do much against Yoko. That’s also not a knock on Yoko as he was a decent big man (bring it on Irish).

Bret is sent to the floor after a nice attack to start but it’s clear he’s going to be in trouble. He ties Yoko’s legs in the ropes and gets him down so he can hammer away. Savage wants him to cover but is corrected by Heenan in a bizarre moment. Clothesline takes Bret down almost as soon as Yoko gets to his feet. Leg drop half kills Bret for no cover. The fans chant USA for their Canadian champion.

Bret gets a boot up for a BIG pop and a bulldog/jump on his back gets two. Side kick puts Bret right back down as this is bordering on a squash so far. Off to the nerve hold now which is basically a way to waste some time, which in a 9 minute match is rather stupid. Oh and all of Bret’s fans are Hulkamaniacs. Heenan points out the stupidity of the USA chants and is ignored. Bret gets in all the offense he can which is more or less getting him nowhere.

FINALLY he gets something as the buckle is exposed and Yoko’s head goes into it, sending him down to his stomach. Bret puts on a shockingly passable sharpshooter and the crowd is shocked. Mr. Fuji then throws salt into Bret’s eyes allowing Yoko to pin him for the title. Now let’s break down why this ending is so bad. Bret gets the sharpshooter on after Yoko shows no sign of his knees being hurt by Bret’s offense on them. I’ll let that go though as it’s a solid move that would hurt enough for a quick submission.

Fuji has done almost nothing all match. Bret sees him right in front of him as he takes FOREVER to get the salt out and throw it. Are you telling me Bret couldn’t have, I don’t know, CLOSED HIS FUCKING EYES??? The referee sees Bret holding his eyes, sees the cloud from the thrown salt and sees Fuji holding a package of salt and thinks nothing of this, and to top it off, salt in the eyes is enough to knock Bret out for a pin? Come on now.

Rating: D+. The size difference here was too much, the time was bad, and the finish was insulting to my intelligence. The wrestling is ok, but just barely. Bret fights valiantly for the full nine minutes of this match and yes you read that right. That’s the biggest issue most people have with this match and this Wrestlemania. The biggest match was less than 10 minutes long.

BUT WAIT!!!

Hulk Hogan comes out because he can’t handle a *gasp* young and talented guy taking the spotlight or something evil like that, so he explains to Fumbles McWhoops our referee what happened and apparently Fuji has match making abilities now as tells Hogan that Yoko will put the belt on the line right now. Bret points to the ring which apparently means go for it.

Hulk slides in and we’re off to the races one more time. The fans are happy, but looking back this is beyond stupid. WHY would Fuji put the newly won title on the line against the greatest giant killer of all time after Yoko has had no rest while Hogan has rested for about half at least? And people wonder why the business was in so much of a hole as it was around this time.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Yoko attacks Hogan as he slides in then holds him for more salt. Hogan ducks, nails Fuji, clotheslines Yoko, drops the leg and wins his fifth title. No rating of course.

Hogan poses with the title as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: F+. This show is truly bad and the main reason behind that is the ending. Hulk Hogan had absolutely no need to come in and steal the spotlight all over again. I don’t care how big of a Hulkamaniac you are, and I’m a huge one, but there is no justification for that whatsoever.

Let Yoko leave with the belt and do this on Raw the next night. Aside from that, the rest of the matches are ok at best. There’s a few watchable matches here and there but there’s no reasoning to sit through the rest of the show for them. Wrestlemania isn’t supposed to be something you need to fast forward through to get to the decent stuff. BIG recommendation to avoid here as this might be the worst WM of all time.
 
Wrestlemania 10
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
America the Beautiful: Little Richard and the Harlem Boys Choir

This show is ALL backstory so get used to that word. Yokozuna had won the title back from Hogan at the first King of the Ring PPV after a Japanese photographer’s camera blew up in Hogan’s face. Hogan left the WWF and wasn’t seen there again for almost 9 years.

On the 4th of July in the previous year, Yokozuna held a huge thing on a US ship, challenging anyone to bodyslam him. There were a ton of people showing up to do it but no one could. Finally a helicopter landed on the ship and out walks the former heel Lex Luger.

He nails Yoko with the forearm and kind of slammed him, although you could argue it was a hiptoss. This launched Luger into one of the biggest face pushes of all time, resulting in his title shot at Summerslam. Luger knocked Yoko unconscious but he knocked him out of the ring as well.

Luger wanted another title shot but was told he would have to win the Rumble to get it. Bret Hart also wanted his rematch at Mania but was told HE had to win the Rumble. Low and behold they’re the final two. They go out at the same time, and we have a tie. The WWF President Jack Tunney decrees that there will be a coin toss deciding who gets the match first.

The loser will have to have a match before getting their title shot and no matter what, whoever comes out of the first match with the title would have to face the loser of the title match. If Bret lost the toss he would have to face Owen and if Lex lost he would have to face Crush. Lex wins the toss so Bret would be the one to close out Mania. I hope that made sense.

This Mania was a new beginning for the company as there was no more Hulk Hogan to carry the load. With him gone, it was time for the young guns to step up and take over. Following last year’s awful Mania, something big had to happen here and it went about as well as it could have given the ridiculous story that I just listed off to you.

There was also a thing called a ladder match that I’m sure will bomb completely. Anyway, after Little Richard rocks the house, it’s time for what is still likely the best opening contest of all time. Also our own NSL was in attendance.

We recap Bret vs. Owen. Bret had been feuding with HBK all of the previous year which resulted in a Survivor Series match between Shawn’s team and Bret’s team of him and his three brothers. Owen was accidently knocked off the apron and into the railing leading to his elimination.

Later Bret attempted to help his brother get his first title by teaming with him to go for the tag titles. Bret was injured during the match and it wound up costing them the match. After the match, Owen kicked Bret’s leg out from under him, fully turning heel. This was the showdown that had been building for awhile.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Ok so this is considered the best opener ever, so let’s see if it’s still that good. Remember Bret has to be in the main event later tonight against the winner of Lex vs. Yoko for the title. There’s the bell and it’s game on. It’s MSG so the entrance is behind the ring rather than off to either side. Owen keeps celebrating every tiny victory which is funny stuff.

Naturally it’s a technical style to start which is exactly what you would expect it to be. A little leverage sends Owen to the floor so Owen slaps him in the face. Almost all Bret to start as Owen can’t get much going but it’s being destroyed at all. Rollup gets two for Bret and it’s to the mat with Owen. Bret speeds it up again and sends Owen to the floor where he’s very frustrated.

Now it’s Bret with a slap and a rollup for two again. Crucifix gets two and to my shock and awe, Lawler says Bret is the better wrestler. You’ll likely never hear that again. There’s that spinwheel kick and Owen takes over for real for the first time in the match. Bret’s back meets post on the floor and Owen SCREAMS at him. Camel clutch goes on and Owen yells some more as you have to wonder how legit that is.

Belly to belly puts Bret down for two. Of course it’s only two. It’s not like Owen could ever beat him or something. Give me a break. Owen tries to suplex Bret back in but Bret reverses but Owen reverses that into a BIG German for a long two. Bret grabs a small package for two as Owen continues his dominance. Owen gets a Tombstone out of nowhere and Bret is in trouble.

No cover though as Owen goes up for a splash which hits. Too bad it hit the canvas and not Bret, but it did indeed hit something. Russian Leg Sweep gets two for Bret. The middle rope elbow gets the same. Owen gets an enziguri “out of nowhere” and goes for the Sharpshooter. Bret reverses into an attempt of his own but can’t get that either.

Bret with a Pescado but hurts his knee and amazingly enough isn’t goldbricking. Owen goes after it and Vince is surprised for some reason. That reason would be that Vince from this era is a very stupid man. The leg goes around the post and Bret is in trouble. Owen’s mocking of Bret is great as for him it’s personal. Well granted it has to be personal as it’s between two people but you get the idea.

The blonde Hart gets a leg lock which gets two as Bret’s shoulders are down. Lawler points out that it would be smart for Bret to give up so he has a better chance in the title match later. That’s actually very true. Figure Four by Owen and WOO Bret is in trouble. Bret rolls out but Owen grabs a rope as we keep going. Bret comes back with an enziguri as for once Vince’s WHAT A MATCHUP isn’t overkill.

Owen’s selling is awesome as every time he gets hit he stays in one place like he’s been shot. Bret gets a Piledriver to probably tick off Jerry a bit. A superplex gets two as Bret can’t finish him. A sleeper from Bret is countered by a low blow as Owen takes over again. Owen gets the Sharpshooter as Bret is in trouble again after the back and knee work from earlier. Ladies and gentlemen, PSYCHOLOGY! Oh how I love it.

Bret counters into his own but Owen is right in front of the ropes so it’s not like it means anything. Bret finally starts throwing punches but they’re to the ribs which Vince makes sure to point out. Owen reverses a whip-in but Bret gets his feet up. Bret goes for a Victory Roll but Owen rolls into it and gets a rollup for the pin to silence the entire arena. Awesome finish to an awesome match.

Rating: A+. This match had been viewed as one of the best matches of all time and it holds up today. The psychology here is off the charts here as both wanted the submission but Owen goes for the pinfall and uses Bret’s own wrestling technique against him.

The best thing about this match is simple though: Owen pinned him perfectly clean. The better man won and that’s what makes the match so much better and one of the best ever. This was proof that a match could work on basic wrestling and the buildup for it. Classic all the way.

We get a post match promo in the back from Owen talking about how great his victory was and everything he says is absolutely right. He even gives credit to Bret for putting on such a great match. Love this promo. Excellent start to the show so far.

WM Moment: WM 2 Battle Royal.

The president of the hair club for men has a toupee for the Fink. Humorous if nothing else. Is there any reason why some dude named Bill Dunn is doing the announcing here and not the Fink?

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink/Dink

This is what gets to follow that opener. These guys feuded forever for no apparent reason and no one cared. This has the distinct look of a comedy match here and I don’t it’s going to end well. Thankfully Howard does the announcing here. Doink is played by some dude from Puerto Rico here I believe.

Bigelow jumps the big clown and we’re off. A dropkick puts him down and hopefully this is dominance. Vince’s overall conclusion about Lawler: he’s not a nice person. Off to Dink and Luna as I search for a reason to have this at Wrestlemania. Get on with this already.

Luna misses a top rope splash and it’s back off to the big guys. You know, the future pyromaniac and the full grown wrestling clown. This is after a classic match and before one of the best gimmick matches of all time. And we get to the “comedy”, and I use that term loosely, of the match. Bigelow sits on a sunset flip attempt and the beating is on. After some time is wasted, a top rope headbutt ends Doink finally.

Rating: F. This was a complete waste of time. Thankfully this is the end of the feud and it was never mentioned again. Bigelow went from potential IC Champion to this in six years. There’s your explanation as to what a knee injury can do for you. Get on to something else.

Post match Luna and Dink do a stupid segment that just extends this longer with nothing coming from it.

There’s a Bill Clinton impersonator here for some reason.

WM Moment: Attendance record at WM 3.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

No backstory here but that’s what I’m here for. Crush had challenged Yokozuna for the WWF title and got beaten pretty badly. Yoko hit some banzai drops on him and put him out of action. Savage came in at the very end to help Crush, after he got hurt. Savage was about to be reinstated as a wrestler when he and Crush got into a fight at ringside. Savage was suspended from commentating but came out of retirement to wrestle. They had been feuding since November but this was their big match.

Savage is a full blown legend at this point, along the lines of what HBK is at this point. Needless to say, he was mad over in this match. The rules here are you get a pinfall but then the person has sixty seconds to get back into the ring. Therefore you could get a ton of pinfalls in this. Savage charges at him in the aisle and the fight is on.

Crush gets Snake Eyes on the railing and the first pin is in less than a minute. Fuji blasts him with the flag and Savage makes it back in with seconds to spare. Crush is dominating and gets him in the Tree of Woe. Fuji hands him some salt but Savage is like bitch I wrestled in Memphis and throws it back in Crush’s face. That and a slam sets up the elbow but no cover. Oh ok he throws him to the floor and THEN gets the pin. That was smart.

Fuji has to grab some water to throw on Crush to kep the match going which is kind of funny. They hit the floor for awhile and it’s all Savage for the most part here. Savage reverses a backdrop in the aisle and we head to the back. Savage slams him on the concrete and then in an incredibly creative finish, Savage uses a rope and ties Crush upside down from a scaffold to get the guaranteed win. Awesome ending to a fun match and also the extent of Savage meaning anything as a WWF wrestler.

Rating: C+. This match was a real grudge match and you could see the emotions coming out. This was the precursor to what would become hardcore and the last man standing match. The falls having to be outside of the ring was just a bad idea though and holds it back. Savage as the legend is something that really works well for him. I’ve always liked this match for some reason, partially because Savage was still awesome at this point and was clearly having fun out there.

Todd talks to the fake Clinton again. It’s pointless. To be fair though, he’s a pro imitator and it’s made to look legit so this is a huge improvement over what we usually get. IRS is there with him and congratulates him for raising the taxes. I’ll spare you a long rant on that one.

We recap fan fest which is the precursor to Axxess.

Savage goes into the crowd to celebrate as we see another WM moment with Savage winning the belt.

Women’s Title: Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

For some reason, Kai’s music here is the same that Harley Race came to the ring to during Flair’s retirement ceremony last year. Very odd indeed as there’s absolutely no connection between the two that I know of. Kai was the Women’s Champion going into the first Mania, 9 years before this. She was the best option they had? Seriously?

Blayze is more common known as Madusa in WCW. Sunset flip out of the corner gets two for the champion. This isn’t going to be anything special at all is it? Another sunset flip is the high point of it so far. The crowd is DEAD. A slam gets two as I think you can get what’s going on here. All Blayze does is leverage stuff although I’d bet a lot of this ending with a German suplex. This needs to end badly and the German finally does it. Moolah, Mae and Nikolai Volkoff are sitting together for some reason.

Rating: D-. The match itself isn’t bad, but this is at Wrestlemania and it’s clear that this match was thrown onto the card. There’s no story, no build, no time given to it, and no one cares. Blazye was solid, and in case you can’t place here she’s far more famous as Madusa in WCW. The problem she had though was there was no competition for her anywhere at all. She was the woman that dropped the Women’s Title in the trash on Nitro which allegedly triggered Montreal.

WM moment: Roddy sprays Downey Jr. at WM 5. Funny actually.

Tag Titles: Men on a Mission vs. The Quebecers

Zero transition between the previous moment and this. Oh my I had forgotten about M.O.M. This very well may be the worst gimmick of all time. The idea behind the team was that they would help young kids improve their lives in the inner cities by preaching positive values to them.

Of course there’s one thing they need to get over. What’s the one thing that every young kid is into? What does everybody love? No not head you sick freaks. Get your minds out of the gutters. They love RAP of course. Therefore, the team had a rapping manager named Oscar.

The team was therefore Mabel (more commonly known as Viscera or Big Daddy V), Oscar, (more commonly known as annoying) and Mo (more commonly known as Felix, the bum that washes your windows in exchange for a non-urine soaked blanket and a bag of Funions). Mabel, Oscar, Mo. M.O.M.

Now after that description, what’s coming next is absolute proof that Satan himself is a wrestling fan: THEY GOT OVER. Yes, somehow this team was wildly popular to the point that they were regular tag title contenders, even winning the belts at a house show literally by mistake. Mabel fell on one of the Quebecers and he couldn’t kick out in time because of the weight.

Anyway, this is for the tag titles so let’s get it over with. It’s a basic formula for MOM: Mo does all the work until Mabel comes in to clean house. For some reason that no one knows, we cut to the back for an interview with some annoying blonde tv show host? Before she can talk though, HBK interrupts for some reason but the girl doesn’t mind.

They pose for a picture until Burt Reynolds interrupts. He says Shawn should shave his chest before Shawn leaves. Can someone pick Bex up off the floor? Apparently the girl’s show is called Up All Night and Burt makes a joke saying she keeps him up all night and they both wish there was something they could do about that as the dirty jokes of Mania continue their hallowed tradition.

We go back to the arena after that totally random moment for the Quebecers entrance. They’re accompanied by Johnny Polo, a.k.a. Raven in a gimmick that astounds me to this day. Considering what he would become in less than two years, to be Polo here is amazing.

Oh I forgot to mention: MOM’s outfits are shiny purple and gold with the writing on Mabel’s chest saying whomp there it is. Let’s get this over with. The champions jump the apparent Laker fans and double team Mabel. Mo gets a cross body on Pierre and a big old legdrop from Mabel to the back of Pierre’s head nearly kills him.

The Quebecers do a sneaky switch and Mo, of course, is in trouble. Jacques backdrops Pierre onto Mo for two. I want this to end very soon. Mo hits the ropes and kind of rolls forward to take down Pierre. False tag to Mabel sets up a missed guillotine legdrop and the tag to Mabel to ZERO reaction.

Mabel misses a charge into what must be a hard buckle as it somehow gets through the layer of flab known as Mabel’s gut. On their second attempt the Quebecers actually get a suplex on the fat one. A Cannonball gets two on Mabel as this is DRAGGING. Mabel hits his spin kick and the double splash from him and Mo for no count. After another double splash the champions take a walk for the countout. Well at least it’s over.

Rating: F. This was dull as hell and the ending was completely awful. Mabel was so fat that he fell on a Quebecer at a house show and it was enough to accidently switch the titles. Mo was totally worthless to the point that Mabel was the better one. What does that tell you?

Another Mania moment is the Ultimate Challenge from Mania 6 which is awesome.

We bring in the celebrities which are a bit weak this year. Some chick from USA and some actor named Donny Wahlberg are here. OH! That isn’t a TV station they’re saying. It’s NKOTB: New Kids on the Block. WOW this is even worse than I thought it was.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Here we have the first of two WWF Title matches tonight. Due to Lex Luger winning the coin toss he gets the first crack here. The winner of this match faces Bret Hart in the main event, which is stupid as Bret already lost but that’s logic and therefore doesn’t belong in wrestling. This is a rematch from Summerslam and the theory is that Luger has Yoko’s number.

First though we have a guest referee: Mr. Perfect, who hadn’t been seen in forever. This Donny dude isn’t a bad announcer actually. The fans chant USA almost immediately. Perfect is in a referee shirt and matching pants, making it look like he’s in pajamas. Manly pajamas mind you but still pajamas. They stare it down in the middle and Luger hammers away.

Clothesline hits but Yoko doesn’t move. Yoko hits one of his own and Luger certainly does move. To the floor and Yoko eats steps so we go back into the ring. This isn’t looking good early on. Luger goes aerial and gets a cross body for two. Lex goes for a slam but can’t get the fatness up again so Yoko gets going again. Granted he didn’t get going in the first place but it sounds better that way I guess.

Yoko tries to get the buckle off a corner but Lex stops him with punches. We hit a nerve hold which is a nice way to say Yoko is tired and needs to lean on someone to rest for awhile. Two minutes have passed and nothing has changed. Literally, ALL nerve hold for that stretch. It’s broken up, Luger fights him off, gets knocked down again and we hit the nerve hold again. We’re seven minutes into this match and over half has been nerve holding.

Luger is sent to the floor and Fuji trips him which is somehow the most interesting thing we’ve had going on so far. Oh look: MORE NERVE HOLDING! I get that Yoko isn’t able to move that well and needs to conserve energy for later, but maybe, just maybe, THAT MEANS THIS WAS A FUCKING BAD IDEA! Luger gets some clotheslines and slams Yoko before the forearm hits.

Cornette and Fuji are brought into the ring which gets them nowhere. Luger covers Yoko who is out cold but Perfect won’t count due to the loaded arm. It’s a heel move but it’s perfectly legal which is my favorite kind. Perfect won’t count, Luger isn’t happy because he thinks Perfect has better hair, Luger shoves him and it’s a DQ. At least it’s over.

Rating: F. Sweet merciful crap this was dull. Luger’s offense consisted of various clotheslines and punches. Aside from that there was probably 1/3 nerve hold. The fans have one of the loudest BULLSHIT chants I’ve ever heard. This was an awful match to put it mildly and the ending kills it even worse. Just awful all around.

While it’s a bullshit finish, allegedly it was Lex’s own fault. There’s a fairly popular theory in wrestling that Luger was supposed to leave WM with the title but went out to a bar and got drunk before telling a bunch of the people that he was going to win it. WWF found out and changed the plans, leading to this finish. Whether that’s true or not, I wouldn’t be surprised. Luger’s push was monumental at this point and him getting the title would have made sense.

Luger screams at Perfect in the back over what happened.

WM moment: from WM 7, the awful blindfolded match. Even Vince says “yet another WM moment” as he’s getting sick of them too.

Harvey Whipleman and the Fink get into an argument. Adam Bomb runs out to protect Harvey from the horrible terror that is the Fink and his bitch slaps of death. Earthquake runs out for this.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Seriously? Quake still had a job in 19 freaking 94??? This is literally three moves long. Belly to belly, powerslam, Earthquake, pinfall. What in the hell was the point of this? No rating of course.

Jim Cornette cuts another of his great fast talking promos that so many people should study. Really, this guy is gold. You can just hear the passion flowing out of him whenever he speaks. He talks about how Yoko is still champion and calls Todd Pettingil Petting Zoo.

Another Mania Moment is Taker appearing at Mania 8. There was nothing to it and I have no clue why this was listed here.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

No backstory again, so here I am to save the day! The idea here is Shawn was the IC Champion but was fired/released from the company for testing positive for steroids. He was the IC Champion at the time and was stripped for not defending it often enough. However he was rehired a few months later and still had the title belt. He said he was the real IC Champion, despite Razor Ramon having won it in his absence. The solution: this match. Put both belts above the ring and the first person to go get them wins both.

The announcer says there are no rules in this match, then lists off how you win. That sounds like a set of rules to me. Damn if you can’t trust wrestling what can you trust? I can’t really overstate the importance of this one enough as it made both guys’ careers and changed wrestling forever, as now instead of being about power and muscle guys, younger and more athletic guys were stealing the show with high flying and innovative stuff. Huge stuff to say the least.

Also for a bit of known trivia, Shawn vs. Bret was the first ladder match nearly two years before this. Razor stares at Diesel as we get going. Shawn tries to move around and use his speed so Razor grabs him by the throat and hits a chokeslam. The cameraman runs into the referee on the floor as it’s been far too long since I watched this match.

Diesel hits a clothesline to Razor on the floor and is thrown out almost immediately. NOW we get to the good stuff. Razor hits a HUGE clothesline to send Shawn to the floor as this is incredibly hard hitting already. Razor peels back some mats on the floor but the fight goes back to the ring. Shawn backdrops his way out of the Razor’s Edge and Razor crashes onto the concrete.

IT’S LADDER TIME as this is about to get awesome. Shawn gets the baseball slide into the ladder into Razor’s ribs and the Bad Guy is in trouble now. The ladder is fully in the ring now and Shawn begins his dominance. The ribs take a big old pounding now as Shawn literally drops the ladder on his back.

Shawn goes up but Razor grabs a foot. Oh great it’s Shawn’s ass again. And do we really need to zoom in on it? We get the famous spot of the match as Shawn jumps off the ladder with a splash onto Razor which has aired in about 1000 highlight reels. Shawn goes up again but Razor shoves the ladder over, sending Shawn into the ropes to put both guys down.

We get the always cool Wile E. Coyote shot from above which is cool to see as Razor looks a bit dead. Shawn goes into the ladder in the corner and crashes to the floor. So far all of the big bumps involving the ladder have been done by Shawn as the biggest Razor has done was being thrown over the top before the ladder came into play.

Slingshot into the ladder and Shawn hangs on so it falls backwards and crushes him against the floor. Razor is alone in the ring now with the ladder and goes up but Shawn dives in off the top for the last second save. Both guys climb and the slug out is on. Razor slams him off the ladder and takes a rather slow fall down onto the ropes to the point where he doesn’t actually hit the ground.

Shawn dropkicks him off the ladder and Razor takes a decent enough bump this time. Razor is still down so Shawn just shoves the ladder on top of him. Why mess with the simple stuff? Big Piledriver to Razor has his down for a good while now. Shawn gets in another famous spot as he rides the ladder down onto Razor and both guys are in pain again.

And alas it has to end as Shawn puts the ladder over top of Razor which doesn’t really do much. Razor gets up, shoves the ladder and along with it Shawn over. His leg gets caught in the ropes and Razor climbs unhindered to the top to become the undisputed Intercontinental Champion. Shawn did the majority of the bumping here but the idea of Shawn doing everything in this is absurd.

Rating: A+. The best gimmick match of all time at that point by a long shot. This is one of the handful of WWF matches give five stars by Meltzer and for once I agree with him. These two beat the hell out of each other and it still more than holds up over fifteen years later. This is what made Shawn and Razor, which is rare to see for two guys.

There was a scheduled ten man tag scheduled that had to be cut for time reasons. It was held on Raw a few weeks later. Nothing special.


DiBiase tries to buy the President who brushes him off.

We get a pretty sweet video package on Bret, further cementing his title win tonight. A similar package airs on Yoko but it’s far worse, and it leads us to the main event.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

This is the first time ever that we get a rematch in the main event of Mania. A bunch of mid 90s celebrities introduce themselves and maybe 10 people care. Seriously, this NEVER works as they’re outdated in two years 99% of the time. However, the guest referee is introduced: HOT ROD HIMSELF, Rowdy Roddy Piper! Holy hell, this makes absolutely no sense but who gives a damn??? Burt Reynolds is the drunk ring announcer for the evening.

Yoko is out first, as if Bret needed anymore guarantees that he’ll be winning here. This is a year after their first match and Bret has come a LONG way since then and here it actually seems that he’s got a chance to pull it off. If you watch WM 9’s main event and then this one back to back, you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about. A very subtle difference also is Bret’s music. Last year he was using the Hart Foundation’s old music, whereas this time it’s his own song.

This match also truly feels like a main event. You really get the feeling that this is truly it. The more I see the finish the more I like it. Oh yeah we have an actual match here.

Yokozuna jumps Bret to start as Bret’s knee is still messed up from earlier in the night which is the kind of continuity you rarely get anymore. Yoko misses what can only be described as a running Frog Splash and both guys are down. Piper counts a bit fast for my taste. Bret gets a headbutt and hurts himself.

Down goes Yoko off a solid shot as the crowd is clearly pretty tired. Bret knocks him back down with just strikes which isn’t considered a huge deal this year. Huge difference there which helps a lot. Piper drills Cornette for interfering. Legdrop hits Bret and he’s in big trouble. He fights back and gets a bulldog for a long two. You can’t blame Piper as he DOVE to get the hand down.

Bret gets up and limps ever so slightly. NICE. A clothesline puts Yoko down for two again. Bret comes off the middle rope and jumps into a belly to belly and the Canadian is in trouble. Yoko takes him to the corner to set up the Banzai Drop but he literally slips and falls off the ropes and Bret climbs on for the pin to get the title back. It sounds corny but this surprisingly worked.

Rating: C+. The main reason this match is miles ahead of last year’s is it gets a little more time. With Yoko you can’t go much longer than 15 minutes as he gets tired as well as he starts to run out of moves that he can use. This match clocks in at about 11 minutes, which doesn’t sound like much when compared to the nine and a half that it got the year before, but the time really does help.

There’s far less of the match dedicated to Bret trying to find a way around Yoko’s size and he just goes for it from bell to bell and it’s a huge improvement. He comes off as a challenger and not an underdog the entire time which helps it out a lot. Rather than having Bret doing whatever he can to survive, Bret looks like a guy looking for a way to win, which is a subtle but key difference. FAR better than last year.

Luger comes down to congratulate him as the locker room empties for the big celebration. Owen won’t get in there though and we have the feud for the rest of the year.

Overall Rating
: A. You have a 9 match card with two all time classics and do I really need to go on? This show is all about that and the rest is just kind of there, but all the bad stuff is pretty short. When you have two A+ matches on one show, it’s kind of hard to say it’s anything but great. The one criticism I have: why wasn’t Luger vs. Bret the main event? Either way, this was a great show as it feels epic on all levels and it comes off that way too. Definitely worth seeing.
 
Wrestlemania 11
Date: April 2, 1995
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,305
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
America the Beautiful: Kathy Huey

Oh goodness, we did have to get to this eventually didn’t we? If you remember my review of WM 9 being the worst WM ever, I should have said it would be the worst for the next two years. This show is one of the most interesting in wrestling history from a reaction standpoint. From the fans’ perspective, this show is what’s played on a constant loop in the seventh circle of hell, minus the WWF Title match.

The number one issue I have right off the bat with this is that it’s from Hartford, Connecticut. Seriously, HARTFORD??? Wrestlemania has broadcast from New York, LA, Chicago, Toronto, Las Vegas, and now HARTFORD? It just doesn’t sound right. Another factor here is that there’s a whopping total of 7 matches. What’s the main event you ask?

Would it be Shawn Michaels getting his first WWF Title match since becoming a main eventer against his former bodyguard Diesel? Nope. We get Bam Bam Bigelow who was wrestling a clown last year against Lawrence Taylor, a former football player and current contestant on Dancing With The Stars. The sad thing is, I’m not making this up. The weird thing though is, this show allegedly brought the WWF back into the war with WCW.

The ratings were decent and it got the company the main stream exposure it’s looking for. Think of it like the modern day TNA: the hardcore wrestling fans like us mostly hate it, but the common fans eat it up. Go figure. Anyway, let’s get on with this so I can look for a hammer to apply to my head.

Your celebrities this year are Pamela Anderson (actual celebrity), Jonathan Taylor Thomas (Randy on Home Improvement. Another child star that did nothing.), Jenny McCarthy (Mini-celebrity now, she was at the last SNME so points for that I guess), some guy from NYPD Blue, and Salt N Peppa, who hit on Bret Hart which just looks ridiculous. A special Olympian sings America the Beautiful, and it’s time for our first match.

Ok not quite yet as we get a very interesting chat from Vince and Jerry about what Wrestlemania is. You don’t get to hear that much from Vince. It’s short and sweet but it got the point across just fine. NOW on to the match.

Lex Luger/British Bulldog vs. The Blu Brothers

No that’s not a typo, it’s spelled Blu. These guys have the gimmick of being two incredibly hick brothers from the mountains. You know them better as D.O.A., the Harris Brothers, or those two big white bald guys that are in every promotion on the planet. My goodness how far has Lex fallen in a year? He’s going after the WWF Title and next year is curtain jerking in a tag match?

The twins are named Jacob and Eli in case you were so bored you were actually wondering. Lex and Davey go by the name the Allied Powers. That delayed vertical suplex by Davey never gets old. It’s nothing short of amazing. Definitely like the fact that Bulldog’s tights are about 3 sizes too small. Oh yeah we have a match to get to.

For some reason the Brothers come down second. The Brothers try to jump them which winds up in a pair of powerslams for them. Note that this is just a powerslam and not The Powerslam by Bulldog so it’s just a normal match. Bulldog is in trouble early on as the power of evil double teaming has him hurting.

A double big boot puts Bulldog down as Luger is just worthless on the apron here. The fans aren’t incredibly impressed. Jerry says that Bulldog has only lost once at Mania which isn’t true as he lost at both #3 and #4. Luger comes in and the fans pop just slightly. I guess the jump back to WCW was the right move indeed. Another powerslam gets no cover.

The loaded forearm gets two as the other twin makes the save. Uncle Zebekiah gets drilled and it’s Twin Magic time. One twin goes for a powerbomb/Piledriver but Luger makes a blind tag, allowing the Bulldog to hit a top rope sunset flip for the pin, prompting a fireworks display to go off.

Rating: D. Not bad, but just there. It’s nothing special at all and I’m not sure how many people really cared. The crowd was about as dead as I’ve ever heard for a Mania opener, and that’s including The Executioner vs. Santana back in 85. Wow I feel old for writing that. Anyway this was pretty bad and could have been on any Superstars show back in the day.

Jim Ross talks to the Uncle who says this is what they deserved for being in the big city. They pinned the wrong guy and that’s not the last you’ll see of the twins.

The NYPD Blue guy is with the Million Dollar Team (DiBiase’s stable of mostly jobbers) when he’s supposed to be in the dressing room of Pam Anderson but the mic doesn’t work. As an aside, during the show Lawler accidently knocked some cords loose and he and Vince had to redo the entire commentary on the show from watching video. Due to that, the commentary you’ll hear on these matches isn’t live at all.

Lawler describes football as a game where eleven men spend hours trying to move a small object 100 yards, which is just like the post office. What that has to do with this is beyond me but it sounded good at the time. Oh it’s about the NFL guys here for the main event.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

No real story here other than they’re feuding for no apparent reason. Jarrett is in his country music gimmick here and even the Fink sounds bored out of his mind here. Jarrett won the title at the Rumble thanks to the Roadie (Road Dogg in case you didn’t know that) interfering. 1-2-3 Kid and Ramon are in the back and say that Ramon is ready.

Razor was so over back then it’s insane. Vince makes a weird comment saying that Ramon knows where he is at all times. Not sure why that’s a compliment. Don’t most people know where they’re located? It’s either a Vince line or a rib that 3 people get. Razor is all over Jarrett to start this off. Jarrett hits the floor and Razor gets to shoot off his pyro. He gets about three covers in the first 2 minutes, all off punches.

Double J may have hurt his tooth. Rollup gets two for Razor. Roadie saves Jarrett from the Razor’s Edge and Jarrett tries to leave but the Kid is waiting in the aisle to stop that. Five minutes in and JJ’s biggest move has been a hard Irish whip. You know for all of his detractors, Jarrett can wrestle quite well. I’ve always wondered why he didn’t get the recognition as a star that he deserved.

Jarrett tries to get on offense but can’t get anything long term going at all. He gets thrown to the floor again as the crowd dies all over again. Jeff gets some dropkicks in and here comes the guy from Tennessee. We hit the chinlock and the fans get going a bit. At least it’s a fast one as Razor gets a backslide for two. Sleeper goes on Razor and again it lasts just a few seconds. Oh hey here’s another chinlock to keep us interested.

This match just isn’t flowing. It’s like they’re working move to move and it’s showing badly. In a really stupid looking sequence, they both hit the ropes and hit head to head. Then they get up and hit the ropes again and both punch each other. It’s more or less the same spot twice in a row. Just looked stupid. This referee is counting ridiculously fast too.

Fallaway slam gets two. Discus punch gets Jeff down. Can Razor do anything else besides punch and go for the Edge? Razor hurts his knee going for a top rope bulldog, which is the same knee that was hurt THREE MONTHS AGO at the Rumble. Of course it’s still sore. Why wouldn’t it be?

Figure four by Jarrett as the Roadie pulls on Jarrett’s arms for more leverage. I’ve always wondered about that. How does it make it hurt more? I love how Razor’s knee is hurt badly, yet he can pick a 230lb man up, sit him on the top rope and belly to back suplex him from it without his knee giving out.

He gets him up for the Razor’s Edge but Roadie chop blocks him for the DQ. Post match, all four men brawl. JR asks Jarrett about his cheating and Jarrett says he’ll always be the IC Champion. If by always he means until he jumps to WCW and then back to the WWF, loses to Chyna after being hit by a fish and then is banned from the company because Austin hated him, they yes he’ll always be champion.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too many punches and rest holds. These two have had far better matches before, such as at the Rumble. Razor probably had 90% of his offense from throwing punches. Jarrett wasn’t anywhere nearly as serious as he should have been at this point and that change wouldn’t come for many years. Definitely a weak match from them.

Since there was no audio earlier, let’s redo the exact movements from the interview earlier on. Pamela Anderson is nowhere to be found. Shawn and Sid say that Diesel is afraid.

Todd Pettingil gets in a 3 point stance with a football player and that’s all there is to this pointless bit.

The Undertaker vs. King Kong Bundy

This is the result of a mini feud with DiBiase and Kama over the Urn being stolen for about the 12th time. A baseball umpire is refereeing the match for no apparent reason. Bundy charges straight at him to start but that gets him nowhere. Old School can’t take him down. A bunch of clotheslines finally put the bald man down.

Bundy knocks him to the floor and Taker gets the Urn back. Now of course Bundy is in big trouble as Taker is all pissed off. Here’s Kama (Godfather) to steal it back again. This is going as fast as I’m typing it so it’s not like I’m skipping over a ton of stuff. Taker grabs Kama’s face but Bundy makes the save and Kama escapes.

Ross grabs an interview with Kama who says he’s going to melt it down and make a chain out of it and put it around his neck, which he wound up doing. Bundy chokes away in the corner, showing off his vast array of offensive talents. This referee is rather bad at counting. Bearer plays cheerleader to try to get Taker out of a chinlock. Avalanche hits in the corner but Taker is no Special Delivery Jones so it has no effect. A slam and the jumping clothesline of all things end this.

Rating: F+. Oh man this was bad. Taker was completely lacking direction at this point and it was painfully obvious that they had no clue what to do with him. He would feud with Kama for a bit before feuding with King Mabel for a bit until FINALLY Mankind debuted to give Taker something to do long term. Terrible match.

Oh look, the NYPD Blue guy still can’t find Pamela Anderson. Steve McMichael says he’ll take down Kama. The rest of the All-Pro Team says they’ll take care of the Million Dollar Team. The NYPD Blue guy does find Jonathan Taylor Thomas beating Bob Backlund at chess though. I never thought I’d have to type that. Backlund’s rant about the world being screwed up is hilarious.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Owen Hart/???

Owen has a mystery partner here. The Smoking Gunns are a great example of the failure of tag wrestling during this time period. They were definitely talented, but absolutely no one cared about them. They’re practically forgotten but were one of the most successful tag teams from this time frame.

As you probably know, the partner is Yokozuna. Oddly enough the partner comes out before the Guns, the champions, do. This is of course about Bret somehow because Owen is completely obsessed with Bret. Yoko weighs a few tons by this point and is straight up waddling to the ring. The Gunns say they don’t care who the partner is. Billy with a mullet and a mustache is freaky looking.

More fireworks for the champions here. What’s with that tonight for the tag teams? Owen and Billy start us off. That’s the most talented combination out there I guess. Apparently Owen and Neidhart were eliminated from the tag tournament to determine the #1 contenders so this is a result of that. The Gunns work on the arm of Owen to start which lasts only a few seconds as it’s off to Yoko.

The leg drop misses and Yoko takes over again. And never mind as it’s back to Owen again. Cornette is yelling at the fans which is one of the more entertaining parts of the show. Double Russian legsweep to the Canadian by the American cowboys. Yoko gets sent to the floor as we’re in the Colossal Connection formula here: Owen does the vast majority of the work while Yoko is brought in as the heavy hitter.

Apparently Men on a Mission have turned heel on the Gunns. Riveting indeed and unfortunately it set up King Mabel. The Gunns hit a modified Sidewinder (side slam/legdrop combination) for two on Owen. Yoko comes in and gets the legdrop on the back of Billy’s head to more or less kill him. I’m surprised Yoko has been in the ring this long.

LONG nerve hold by Yoko on Billy to waste a lot of time. Yoko misses a legdrop and Bart comes in. Everything breaks down and Billy gets killed by a belly to belly from the fat man. Banzai Drop ends Billy and Owen gets the pin for the title, which might be his first in the company if that’s possible.

Rating: D+. Eh just a tag match here. The Gunns were boring beyond belief and Yoko was so fat that he could barely move at all. This was simply to have a title switch on the show much like the first show in the series. Boring match and somehow the best one so far I think if that’s possible.

Bigelow says he’ll destroy Lawrence Taylor. There was a Mania Work Out and they had a skirmish there too. This feud never really got going for me but the media actually paid attention so there’s that I guess. This interview takes forever and nothing special is said at all.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as referee for no apparent reason. Vince says Roddy knows something about submission. What in the world would that be anyway? This was their second submission match technically as the other was a throw in the towel match that had to end in submission if I remember right. Piper would be Commissioner by the next Mania.

Backlund is more or less crazy here which was rather impressive given how completely different he used to be back in his glory days. I’m still mad about not getting Bret’s glasses when I was a kid. The annoying kid next to me got them. I did however get a Slaughter helmet. Bret gets a headbutt to start and the fight is on. Sharpshooter can’t go on early.

Vince doesn’t remember Piper losing to Bret at Mania 8. Some fan he is. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter again and can’t get it. You couldn’t tell that from Vince as he keeps changing his reaction every five seconds. “Yes! No. Yes! No.” Is he the Zodiac or something? Figure Four goes on but Backlund reverses it. Neither guy says they quit as we get a quick check-in with the German commentators for no apparent reason.

Bret works the knee again as this is rather boring. Piper needs to quit asking them if they quit so often. Backlund works on the arm as I try to find a good novel to read so I don’t have to watch this for awhile. Backlund hooks a Fujiwara armbar and Bret says Hell No to Piper. That was a shocking line then apparently which is amusing given that in an I Quit match in 99 with HHH vs. Rock, HHH said Suck Ass when he was asked if he quit.

Backlund likes that armbar. Jerry talks about breaking into a pyramid (what the hell?) and seeing a picture of Stu Hart with a headlock on King Tut (where does he get these jokes from?). Sharpshooter almost goes on but Backlund gets to the ropes before it gets cinched in. Bret charges again and his shoulder hits the post to put him in real trouble.

There’s the Crossface Chickenwing and Bret is in trouble. And never mind as he casually reverses and gets a horrible version of it on Backlund for the submission. You know, from all that devastating work that he did on Backlund’s arm the whole time. This was an awful match if you didn’t get it.

Rating: F+. This was really bad. Backlund was just flat out too old to be a serious main event threat by this point and while Bret was sharp as ever, Bob just didn’t have it in him anymore. Bret has called it the worst match of his career and he might be right. Backlund’s I saw the Light thing led to an angle where he would run for President of all things. As you can guess, it went nowhere. Also, having a Bret match lack any and all psychology is very weird indeed.

Ok, the NYPD guy was annoying at first. Now he’s just making me mad. NO ONE CARES.

More audio issues as Todd tries to talk to Diesel. He finally says that he’s going to keep the title. He slips up when he’s trying to say if he’s going to regain or retain the title and finally screams HOLD ONTO IT. This was back when Nash was actually really good and got the reputation he’s lived off for years now.

Celebrities are introduced as Jerry Lawler reveals he accidently unplugged some cords.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel

The deal was supposed to be McCarthy came out with Diesel and Anderson, who was viewed as ten times hotter and more important than McCarthy (bullshit) would come out with the Rumble winner, Shawn. For obvious reasons, this got reversed. The NYPD Blue guy is the ring announcer and he’s miles better at this than he is as an interviewer. He shouts almost everything he says and for the sake of this, it works really well.

The story here is Diesel was Shawn’s bodyguard but realized he was awesome on his own so he turned face and won the WWF Title. Sid replaced him as the bodyguard and the exact same thing would happen in about a year. Shawn has finally morphed into the character that would make him a legend by this point. As weird as this sounds, Diesel is a freaking beast at this point. Sweet intro, the music was cool, he has Pamela Anderson, just the complete look. What in the hell happened to that? Anderson simply couldn’t want to be here less if her life depended on it.

Shawn hammers away to start as we’re already into the power vs. speed area. Diesel had been champion since a few days after Survivor Series so he had almost 7 more months with the title here. Diesel sends Shawn to the floor as we look at the ladies. Sid distracts the referee but Shawn can’t get in a shot on Diesel. Suplex puts Shawn down.

Back to the floor again as Sid and Diesel stare each other down one more time. Diesel counters a sunset flip as this is more or less one sided so far. Nash gets sent to the floor but Shawn Skins the Cat and dives down to crush Diesel. Baseball slide has the champion in trouble. We look at Anderson again and sweet damn does she want to be anywhere else but here.

The fans loudly chant for Sid, thus proving that this entire match is booked wrong. Shawn hits a splash off the apron to the floor as Diesel is in trouble. Back in the ring Shawn stomps away and hits a bulldog for two. I’ve never liked that move at all. Reverse cross body off the middle rope gets two again. Shawn works on the arm and gets a LET’S GO SHAWN chant in his honor.

Ok make that he’s working on Diesel’s ribs. A top rope elbow to the back gets two in what is for some reason a highlight reel clip for Shawn. Never really have gotten why but it certainly is. Off to the chinlock now as the fans still like Shawn better. Diesel fights back and gets Snake Eyes to get some momentum going. Flair Flip in the corner and Shawn hits the floor again.

Nash follows and it’s time to see Shawn’s ass as is the tradition for big matches he’s in for no apparent reason. They slug it out on the floor and the referee twists his ankle getting down. I guess it wasn’t an Attitude Era thing. Back in the ring Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music but there’s no referee which would be a factor in Shawn’s reasoning as to why he lost.

It gets two and the fans boo loudly on the kickout. Sid goes to an old school heel move and rips off the turnbuckle pad. Diesel gets a suplex to avoid being rammed into it and both guys are down. Shawn gets an arm over him for a long two as the fans aren’t seeming to care much here.

In a slick counter, Diesel catches a bulldog off the middle rope in a side slam. Nice move. Shawn circles Diesel but gets his legs tripped from under him. Diesel goes old school with a slingshot into the exposed buckle. If only that had actually been where he landed, as Shawn’s head hit the middle buckle instead of the top one. Big boot and Jackknife end this anyway.

Rating: B. As you can tell, I really like this match. It’s not famous at all but it’s definitely solid all around. There was a story with the ribs, a controversy that would lead to rematches and a clean ending. The match also got enough time to put on something decent and it showed. Shawn was clearly coming into his own but still wanted to prove himself. Solid effort all around and a very good match. These two had some of the most forgotten great matches of all time and this is one of them for sure.

Shawn and Sid bitch to Ross and say it’s not over, which it wasn’t. The celebrities celebrate with Diesel forever and Nash gets both chicks.

Shawn bitches some more in the back.

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

If you have never seen a person die and you want to…actually if you want to I’d recommend psychiatric help. But anyway, right here you’re about to see a man’s career die right in front of your eyes.

Here it is. Let it be known throughout the universe and all the world, that the reason that WM 11 is called the worst WM of all time is this match and this angle right here. Here’s the idea: for those of you that don’t know, LT is one of the best football players of all time, bar none. He was at the Royal Rumble in the front row and Bigelow shoved him, leading to this.

Instead of the WWF Title being on the line in the main event of the biggest show of the year, we get a retired football player against a barely upper midcarder that was about 8 years past his prime. Do I even need to explain why this was a bad idea? Each man has a group of 5 supporters at ringside so it’s more or less a lumberjack match. Their entrances take the greater part of forever. Oh and Salt N Peppa sing LT to the ring.

Pat Patterson of all people is the referee. There are so many jokes I could make about that I don’t know where to start. This is by far and away the main event of the show which still makes my head shake. I used to complain that Lawrence couldn’t wrestle but that was the point I think: he wasn’t supposed to be able to wrestle but rather be able to fight.

Diesel had been showing him some stuff apparently. The bell hasn’t rung yet so we’re just hanging around and waiting to start. Patterson wants a handshake but Lawrence slaps Bigelow instead and it’s on. Taylor likes to throw forearms which makes sense as it’s a basic strike. Taylor sends him to the floor with Bigelow doing the majority of the work to get himself over the top.

Bigelow misses a corner splash and Taylor gets a belly to back for two. More forearms which keep working so naturally he keeps going with them. Taylor gets in the face of the Million Dollar Team as we’re still waiting on the big brawl between the guys on the floor. Lawrence gets caught on his way back in and now we get into the main part of the match.

They’re going very slow which is understandable here. Falling headbutt misses Taylor but he can’t capitalize and Bigelow takes over again. Boston Crab goes on which shifts into a sloppy half crab instead. Ok now it’s shifted into more or less Bigelow pulling on Taylor’s leg. This is a very different kind of match and not incredibly interesting.

The rope is finally grabbed and Taylor goes back to the forearms. A suplex gets Taylor out of trouble for a bit and both guys are down. Bigelow gets the advantage again and hits the Moonsault but hurts his knee, having to roll off. He covers shortly thereafter and gets two to ZERO reaction. I think the fans were confused or flat out didn’t care. Either way it’s not a good sign.

LT gets a gutwrench suplex that is called a Jackknife for two. Enziguri puts Taylor down again and this is really needing to end like now. Top rope headbutt gets two and a tiny reaction. Taylor makes his big comeback and hammers away with the forearms and now the crowd is getting into it. In the big spot of the match, LT goes to the middle rope and hits a flying forearm to get the pin. Taylor might have been hurt but he seems ok. DiBiase rips into Bigelow post match, setting up his failure of a face turn.

Rating: D+. Well they tried. I’ll give them that: they tried. For the life of me I don’t get why this is what they closed the show with. Well actually I do as it was certainly the biggest match, but it shouldn’t have been if that makes sense. Taylor’s offense made sense as he kept at it with the forearms, but the match didn’t work for the most part. Still though, not completely unwatchable but not incredibly good.

Overall Rating: F+. Yeah this show is still boring as hell. It feels more like an In Your House rather than what it should have been, which is the biggest show of the year. Shawn vs. Diesel is good and that’s about it. Everything else is completely forgettable to say the least and the main event is one of the biggest headscratchers of all time.

To give you an idea of how odd this show is, it runs less than two and a half hours. Think about that. Wrestlemania ran less than two and a half hours. The show was shockingly well received though and it got a solid buyrate for the time. It doesn’t hold up well at all and that’s what kills it. 95 simply wasn’t kind to PPV and this is probably the second worst show of the year, after Summerslam. Bad show.
 
Also our own NSL was in attendance.

:lmao: I get the point. I'll stop bringing it up :p

It does suck that I got to go to one with no Hogan, Undertaker, Warrior, Steamboat, Jake, etc. The show did good without them though.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Rarely is the opening match the match of the night, but this did it. The crowd was nuts the entire time, and no one had a clue who would win. Anyone who said they did, was positive it would be Bret. The ending really sealed this is a classic.

Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon vs. Doink and Dink

This match was so meaningless I forgot it even happened. I was a huge fan of Bam Bam, and to see him in a filler tag match was sad.

Falls Count Anywhere-Randy Savage vs. Crush

Hindsight really is 20/20. At the time, this match was greatness, and it was another match where no one knew what to expect. Everyone was behind Savage as the legend, but it was a match we hadn't seen before. When we saw him hang Crush upside down on the video screen, we were in shock, like the crowd must have been when 'Taker hung the Bossman.

Women’s Title-Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Looking back, it seems like they wanted Blayze to go over like Richter. No wonder it ate at Vince so badly when she dumped the title. It was strictly filler, and served only as a bathroom break.

Tag Titles: Men on a Mission vs. The Quebecers

Your disdain for M.O.M. is mirrored only by my love for them, at the time. I know they weren't very good, but they were two huge guys with a funny gimmick, and their marketing worked. I was a 10 yr old kid that cheered for them. If they were out now, they'd be totally useless. The Quebecers were hated by everyone, and it showed here. Decent match though.

WWF Title-Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

While it’s a bullshit finish, it was Lex’s own fault. There’s a fairly popular theory in wrestling that Luger was supposed to leave WM with the title but went out to a bar and got drunk before telling a bunch of the people that he was going to win it. WWF found out and changed the plans, leading to this finish.

I'm sure I wasn't the only kid getting dirty looks from his parents for chanting "Bullshit" here. Everyone wanted to see Luger v. Bret, and Mr. Perfect was still getting heat here. The boos during his entrance were only beaten by Yokozuna's. Looking back, it was clearly Luger's fault. But, it didn't change what we wanted.

I've never heard the rumor, but I wouldn't be surprised. His Narcissist gimmick was based on his real life arrogance, and it wouldn't be crazy to think that he'd brag to everyone about being champ.

Harvey Whipleman and the Fink get into an argument. Adam Bomb runs out to protect Harvey from the horrible terror that is the Fink and his bitch slaps of death. Earthquake runs out for this.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Strangely enough, I remember the Fink/Whippleman slapfest, but not the match. I was never a fan of Earthquake, and Adam Bomb became more and more of a joke everytime he stepped in the ring.

Jim Cornette cuts another of his great fast talking promos that so many people should study. Really, this guy is gold. You can just hear the passion flowing out of him whenever he speaks.

I've always loved his promos. He rarely has a bad one, and he's one of the reasons I started watching TNA after Jarrett went on hiatus.

IC Title-Ladder Match-Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Wow. This was a huge match, and yet another match where no one knew what would happen. I wanted Shawn to win, and could've cried (at the time) when he was helplessly stuck in the ropes. Diesel getting booted from ringside got a huge reaction from the crowd also.

There was a scheduled ten man tag scheduled that had to be cut for time reasons. It was held on Raw a few weeks later. Nothing special.

Irwin R. Schyster, The Headshrinkers, Rick Martel and Jeff Jarrett v. 1-2-3 Kid, Sparky Plugg, Tatanka and The Smoking Gunns.

I'm so glad this match didn't happen. Considering DiBiase was in the next segment, I'm guessing that the heels would've won, and Schyster would've been involved with trying to buy the President. No one here as ever worth watching, except Tatanka and Schyster anyway.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

I don't know if it ever came through on any videos out there, but when Yoko's entrance started, there was another chant of "Bullshit" because we all knew Luger should've been in this match. Considering Yoko already had one big match earlier, I was impressed that he lasted so long in this one, and put on a good showing. Bret was clearly going to win, and that's why the crowd wasn't as lively as the Bret v. Owen match earlier in the night.

You also left out Owen coming out after the win, but not entering the ring. Silence fell over the crowd for a second, and we all hoped he'd climb in the ring and the feud would be over. Again, hindsight is 20/20. It's better for the both of them that he didn't.


The dark match involved the Bushwhackers. I don't remember offhand who they faced, but it's crazy to remember how over they were. Everyone was doing their walk as they entered.
 
Lex Luger and British Bulldog vs. The Blu Brothers

That delayed vertical suplex by Davey never gets old. It’s nothing short of amazing.

This one was especially great because of the size of the opponents. They were 6-6/6-7, I believe, and were always booked as big mean badasses.

IC Title-Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett tries to leave but the Kid is waiting in the aisle to stop that.

You know for all of his detractors, Jarrett can wrestle quite well. I’ve always wondered why he didn’t get the recognition as a star that he deserved.

That would be why he never got recognition in the WWF/E. He was playing a cowardly heel, but came across as a chickenshit. Reminds me a little of Santino, in how it failed to work.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad, but Yoko was just so insanely fat at this point his ability was beyond limited.

:lmao: There's not much to say about this match besides that.

I Quit Match: Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This match stems from the Survivor Series where for God known why, Bret defended the title against Backlund and actually lost it because Owen got Bret’s mother to throw in the towel. Backlund lost the title two days later to Diesel at a house show in 8 seconds.

I may be wrong, but I believe this all stemmed from Backlund returning and saying he never lost the title 10 years ago, or however long ago it was. If that was the case, Vince probably did it to shut him up, instead of going along with a Hart v. Diesel feud, which would have been legendary at this time.

The deal was supposed to be McCarthy came out with Diesel and Anderson, who was viewed as ten times hotter and more important than McCarthy [/B](bullshit)[/B]

Agreed.

Lawrence Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

I said in my reply to your review on WrestleMania X, that it was sad to see Bam Bam in meaningless filler. It's still sad one year later, and sadder still, that it was the "main event". I was a huge LT fan, and always loved Bam Bam, so as a kid, I really got into this. It was only ever good viewing the first time though. It was apparent LT received no training, and obvious that Bigelow was done for. This would've only been successful as an opener, or placed before the Bret v. Backlund match. It could've gone shorter, and it wouldn't have shown so much that they couldn't work.
 
Wrestlemania 12
Date: March 31, 1996
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 18,853
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
Star Spangled Banner: N/A

This show is a very different direction for the company, and while the match is remembered fondly, this is one of the lowest rated Manias of all time and I think that’s for one reason: there are only 6 matches. You have the iron man match, Diesel vs. Taker, and four other matches that hardly anyone remembers. Razor Ramon is on the box but was less than two months away from debuting on Nitro.

After what apparently was viewed as a big show the year before, tonight was all about Shawn Michaels. Looking back at the buildup, we all should have seen it coming. Shawn was the guy that never quite could put all of the pieces together but for the first time in forever he was healthy, he was trained properly and he was totally ready, but we’ll get to that later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course all about Bret vs. Shawn which is appropriate since that’s all this show is about. Something about champion vs. challenger or something.

Oh and because there was no time for it, the finals of a big tag team title tournament was held on the preshow with the Body Donnas beating the Godwins when Sunny flashed Phineas.

After no America the Beautiful or Star Spangled Banner, we get our first contest!

Vader/Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Ahmed Johnson/Jake Roberts/Yokozuna

Ahmed Johnson was nothing short of a tank. Imagine Lashley but about ten times more bad ass. Nothing but pure power all around. Shame he was injured and then left the company. He was supposed to be the first black WWF Champion but that fell through. Anyway, this is because of Yoko turning face and going after Cornette who brought in Vader to settle the score. Hart and Smith were also in Cornette’s stable and Johnson and Roberts are there because they had contracts.

Yoko at this point was just embarrassingly fat. Apparently if Yoko’s team wins he gets 5 minutes with Cornette. He means nothing at all by this point and it’s rather clear. Yoko and Vader slug it out to start but soon it shifts to a big brawl. And then it’s back to Yoko vs. Vader with Vader getting knocked to the floor. Ahmed DIVES over the top to take down Vader.

Total insanity to start us off here so at least it’s fast paced. The giants explode again and it’s Yoko with the advantage. Owen comes in and gets beaten on for a bit until Bulldog saves him. Back to the fat boys here as for some reason they decided Yoko should be in there for three or four minutes to start us off. Vader punches him down in the corner and talks to him for awhile for no apparent reason.

Yoko gets a freaking Rock Bottom of all things and tags in Ahmed. He cleans house, destroying all three evildoers. Sunset flip on Vader results in Vader jumping up and landing on his own ass. Bulldog gets in a few shots and Vince says Camp Cornette is like a herd of buffalo. Sure why not.

Owen gets a missile dropkick out of nowhere to take over. Enziguri to the back (which thankfully they say was to the back) puts Ahmed down. Back to Vader as this is a basic formula now. Is there a reason as to why Jake isn’t getting the beating so that Ahmed can get the hot tag later? Ahmed gets a shot to take Owen down and finally brings in Jake.

Mr. Fuji comes down to ringside as I’d assume he got lost or something. Jake calls for the DDT but Owen grabs the rope. Roberts gets caught in the corner and the beatdown is on. Vader mauls him for a bit as this is starting to get a big long. Top rope elbow by Owen gets two. Just to show what a different time it was, Jake kicks out of the powerslam from the Bulldog like it’s any other move. That’s just wrong.

Yoko finally gets the lukewarm tag and hammers Vader down in the corner. He looked like he was sticking a fork in the top of his head which explains the speed of those shots. Jake comes back in because he’s clearly fine after that long beatdown and Ahmed can’t come in yet due to affirmative action or something. DDT to Owen but Cornette saves. Vader takes Jake down and the Vader Bomb ends him.

Rating: D+. The wrestling really isn’t that bad, but it went on forever. Take 5-7 minutes out of this and it goes way up in value. The psychology made very little sense here which is a weird thing to see in a Roberts match. This went nowhere for the most part and feels really weird for a Mania opener. Nothing to see here.

We recap Piper vs. Goldust in one of the most homophobic feuds ever. Piper is president of the company and Goldust is turned on by Piper’s power. This set up the Hollywood Back Lot Brawl, which is just a fight in the back alley. Michael Freaking Cole does the voiceover for this. He was there in 1996? Hokey smoke indeed.

Goldust vs. Roddy Piper

Piper was seen earlier with a bat and a water hose. This was supposed to be Razor vs. Goldust but Razor is in rehab (I’m stunned to) so we get this instead. Goldust pulls up in a gold Cadillac and Piper stops it by spraying it with a gardening hose then beating it with a bat. The smash cuts here are really, really annoying. This is hardcore before there was hardcore and they get fairly brutal out there.

Obviously this isn’t live or anything like that as they filmed this earlier in the day. I’m not sure who thought this was a good idea but it’s certainly not one at all. Piper chokes him with a bat and sprays him down with a high pressure hose. Goldust gets a shot to Roddy’s pipe and drums and takes over.

Goldust just gets the hell beaten out of him for the most part as some of Piper’s punches are either legit or the best fakes I’ve ever seen. The son of the Dream gets in the car and Piper (or an extremely average impersonator) jumps onto the hood to keep from getting crushed. Goldust leaves and Piper chases him in a white Bronco. This doesn’t finish here so we’ll come back to the rest of this as it happens. This was REALLY bad as it was all taped and clearly edited and the crowd is of course silent after five minutes of just sitting around watching a TV monitor.

Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega

These two had a long feud for no apparent reason. Austin was the Ringmaster at the time and the Million Dollar Champion. They feuded for several months and it was just a waste of time. This gets PPV time but the tag team title match doesn’t. Of course it does. Savio is with Doc Hendrix and we get a quick look at them being paired together in the tag tournament and Austin screwing him over. Savio says he’s ready for anything.

It’s a brawl almost immediately and they roll around on the mat. We hit the floor and it’s Vega in control. DiBiase gets involved to give Austin control but that gets him nowhere at all. This is a boring as hell match in case you didn’t get that. Showing the boredom of Vince we go to Roddy Piper on cell phone as he chases after Goldust on the freeway.

Savio hurts his arm on a clothesline as we hear about how great of a technician Austin is. Back to the phone stuff as Austin works on the arm. Middle rope elbow drills Savio for two as Piper yaps away. The sad thing is that this is a pretty good back and forth match but the crowd is dead because of being killed by the parking lot thing.

We continue the idiocy with aerial footage of Piper chasing Goldust. And of course, it’s of the OJ Simpson chase. Savio takes Austin’s head off with a spin kick but Austin takes over again. An elbow off the top (Austin was a completely different wrestler before he became the Rattlesnake and somehow better in the ring) misses and here comes Savio.

Naturally in an Austin match at Wrestlemania the referee goes down, in this case due to another spin kick from Savio. DiBiase slips in the Million Dollar Belt to Austin who clocks Savio with it twice to knock out him cold. Then in something I’ve never seen before, Austin wins with a reverse chinlock. Yes as in the mother of all rest holds. Savio is out so the match is over. Wow indeed. Only at Wrestlemania baby!

Rating: B-. This was a good match actually despite the idiocy of the whole Piper thing. Austin was great back in the day and when he wasn’t hanging out with various other morons so was Savio. This was a good match although they would go on to do some better stuff. Or maybe that had already happened. Yeah it had so this was the finale.

More Piper stuff as Vince says this is familiar.

We recap the whole mind games thing between Taker and Diesel. I think I have Diesel in their match tonight.

Another shot of the cars. Is there a point to this at all? Is it supposed to be tongue in cheek or something?

HHH vs. Ultimate Warrior

This is Warrior’s big return. HHH debuts some new chick named Sable. He’s rather new also here and the difference in size between then and recently is amazing. Warrior is allegedly 400lbs and bald according to Lawler, which shocks Vince. You know a lot of his lines are far funnier knowing what we know now. Naturally he looks like his old self. The fans react….I think. Vince wants you to believe the roof just got blown off but it’s simply not there.

HHH jumps him to start and I can’t believe how quiet the fans are here. I mean it’s eerie. Pedigree hits maybe 40 seconds in and Warrior beats him to his feet. Warrior hammers away and the slam and splash end this in maybe a minute and a half. He would be gone by late summer.
Wildman Marc Mero, the former Johnny B. Badd debuts here which caused a ton of jokes at his expense in WCW. In exchange he wound up getting the Intercontinental Title and the biggest pushes of his career. HHH comes up to glare at him and Sable stands by. They brawl for a bit and that’s about it.

Piper is on his way back here.

Undertaker vs. Diesel

No backstory given but that’s why I have a job here. Both guys had cost each other the title at back to back PPVs including the famous shot of Diesel being pulled under the ring by Taker during a match against Bret in a cage. Taker played a ton of mind games and this is the result. This isn’t quite a co-main event but it’s the other big match on the card for sure. Diesel is freshly heel here.

From everything I can find this is their first and only one on one match too. That makes sense as Diesel was gone in less than two months and was in WCW for the next five years. Once he got to WWE again he was in the NWO and never feuded with Taker. Once he was out he was on Raw and then Nash left for TNA. I will never get tired of Undertaker’s entrance. It’s simply awesome on so many levels.

They go at it from the opening bell and the crowd noticeably dies as soon as it rings. That’s rather odd. Taker goes onto offense and the fans cheer a bit so they’re definitely into this. They head to the floor and Taker hammers away with those uppercuts. I remember a friend of mine back in the day said Taker definitely couldn’t have had a boxing background. Methinks the punches he throws suggest otherwise.

Taker wants the Tombstone about two minutes in but it’s countered. Nash is moving out there which is very weird to see indeed. Taker with a cross body (???) for two. Old School can’t take Diesel down. The jumping clothesline misses as Diesel uses his training as Super Shredder in TMNT 2 to duck out of the way. Taker gets another uppercut to put Diesel on the floor. A chair shot misses and here comes Big Daddy Cool.

Diesel won’t let Taker get back in. It’s weird to see Nash with so much energy like this. Big boot puts Taker down. Side Slam gets two. Not quite as pretty as his usual ones but still a decent one. Diesel beats on him with his slow and methodical stuff but it’s not boring. Some guys just have a slower pace than others and Nash is one of them. Taker fights back a bit and both guys hit big boots. That was kind of cool.

Taker sits up to a big reaction. Diesel beats Taker to his feet and slaps on a bear hug. He isn’t CM Punk though so he’s not going to get a submission. Taker breaks the hold and it’s off to a headlock? A suplex gets Taker out of it and both guys are down for a bit again. Top rope clothesline and a good one gets two for Taker. He sends Diesel in and like an IDIOT, puts his head down and there’s the Jackknife.

And also like an IDIOT, Diesel doesn’t cover him. He just stands over Taker who isn’t moving an inch. Taker sits up so Diesel gives him another powerbomb. Diesel FINALLY goes for a cover but Taker grabs him by the throat. He must have waited for 40 seconds after that Jackknife so he deserves it. Diesel fights out of the grip twice but can’t do it a third time. He gets a suplex to get out of the choke but Taker sits up. Flying clothesline sets up the Chokeslam which sets up the Tombstone to make Taker 5-0.

Rating: B. This was good stuff and definitely Taker’s best Mania match to date and his best until Mania X7 against HHH. Also this made the Streak seem like it meant something as Diesel had been world champion for almost a year. Power vs. power rarely works and battles of the giants are usually bad but this was one of the best ones I’ve ever seen. Good stuff indeed.

Post match we get the at the time famous shot of Diesel laying on the mat completely unconscious.

Piper and Goldust are back so it’s time for the ending of the Brawl. Both cars get back and Piper parks right next to Goldust so the driver’s door can’t open. Good thing he was already out and into the arena. Roddy drops about 5 F Bombs as he’s looking for Goldie. They head into the arena and the fight is on. Actually Goldust backing away while Piper stalks him with a belt is on but you get the concept

They go into the ring and Piper hammers away. Officially this is still a match I guess. Screw the whole formatting thing as I guess you could call this the longest match in PPV history. Goldust takes over in the ring as he’s an active wrestler and therefore likely in better shape. Piper’s shirt comes off and Goldie chokes away.

Roddy gets back up and the crowd pops a bit for it. Goldust tries to kiss him and Piper fights back. Goldie goes up but Piper crotches him. And then Goldust kisses Piper. Oh you know shit is on now. Piper grabs him by the balls (does that mean he liked the kiss?) and slaps Goldust’s ass a bit. Off come the clothes and Goldust has S&M stuff on. Piper kisses Goldust. Ok so in other words, he’s kissed him, groped his balls and slapped his ass. Sweet damn indeed. Goldust leaves and I guess Piper is the winner. Sadly this gets the biggest pop of the night so far.

We recap the Bret vs. Shawn…feud I guess you’d call it. They’re both faces here but the idea is that Shawn has finally gotten to this point after working his entire life to get here. On the other hand you have Bret who is the best in the world and has been for a good while. It’s pretty clear that Shawn is going to win but the idea is to give a classic on the way.

Now this match has gotten a very argued opinion from the staff as some of us say it’s great and some of us say it’s very overrated. I like the match but let’s see how well it holds up. Both guys say nothing of note at all.

Gorilla Monsoon finally gets the roll he was born for: President of the WWF. That fits perfectly even though he rarely did anything.lding up the Iron Man Match and Shawn’s rise to the main event as a face. Nothing special here.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

We open with a rather good start as Shawn makes one of the most famous entrances of all time, riding down from the rafters on a zipline. That’s definitely one of his most famous moments and is still cool to this day. Bret’s entrance of walking through the curtain is a bit of a letdown by comparison. I like the basic fireworks Bret would get. Simple yet effective.

Hebner gives the instructions to both guys and you have to wonder if he can hear Bret tap already. They’re really playing this up as epic. It’s most decisions in an hour as you know but you can win a decision by count-out or DQ. So could the title change on a DQ only? I’d love to see them do that in a world title match. They used that as a loophole for 2/3 fall matches before.

There’s the bell and we’re off. Jerry says if Bret wins the first decision he’ll win while Vince says that’ll go either way. They hit the mat for a bit and we reach the issue here: you can more or less take a 57 minute nap and you’ll not miss the ending of the match. That’s why you don’t see these on TV. Bret gets a headlock as we get to our first rest hold/time killer of the match. I don’t think calling it a rest hold is fair as both guys have great cardio.

Jerry gets on Vince for being an idiot when he says there are no Bret or Shawn fans but only WWF fans. Preach it King. There’s a nice idea here of Bret wanting to wear Shawn down so he can beat him while Shawn is looking for a fast win and then go from there. Nice little contrast of styles there. Back down to the headlock as they sped things up for a bit.

They’re going slowly here for the most part but to be fair they’re conserving energy so it’s understandable. We get into an interesting debate here: which of these two is stronger? Jerry explains how much a hold like a headlock can take out of you. In other words, he’s using his experience in the ring to give an explanation of what we’re seeing. Almost like he’s analyzing it. What a novel idea!

Shawn works on the arm which is as good as anything else I guess. Stu Hart, Bret’s dad, is at ringside sitting next to Freddie Blassie. Jerry asks if Helen (Bret’s Mom) is here. He thinks it’s unlikely since she went shopping today and went to an antique store and they kept her. That got a chuckle if nothing else. Bret starts hammering away in the corner so Shawn speeds things up to send Bret to the floor.

The idea here is that Shawn is wrestling a very conservative and slower paced match to throw Bret off his game. That’s psychology again there people. Shawn works the arm but Bret throws him over. He skins the cat though and drives Bret down with an armbar again. We’re a little under 12 minutes in at this point.

Shawn goes back to the arm as we waste even more time than we usually do if you can believe that. Jerry suggests that maybe Bret should submit to get out of this armbar but says that probably wouldn’t be a good idea. Bret gets up and gets a modified almost spinebuster to put Shawn down and wants the Sharpshooter but Shawn counters.

A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor but Bret doesn’t want a countout. Bret is sent into the post and at 15 minutes into the match Shawn kicks the timekeeper’s head off! That looked great and he is DEAD. Back into the ring and Bret gets the chinlock again. The timekeeper is taken out on a stretcher. Bret yells at Hebner to check Shawn because it’s not a staring contest.

This is getting really boring really fast as these rest holds are going on for like two or three minutes at a time. This particular one is about two and a half. Shawn comes back with a clothesline but his neck hurts and he can’t follow up. Bret gets one of his own and down goes Shawn. Vince goes into a speech about how awesome the WWF and Wrestlemania is while we’re in ANOTHER chinlock. It’s always cool to hear Vince talk about how great wrestling is as his love really comes out in his voice.

O’Connor Roll is blocked and Shawn gets a dropkick to go back to the armbar. Twenty minutes in now and of course we’re still in a hold. Shawn rams some knees into the arm and shoulder. He gets a wristlock on using his arms for leverage which results in Bret’s face being shoved into Shawn’s boot which looks cool. Vince talks about Jerry’s Kiss My Foot match with Bret which was always kind of funny.

Bret tries to reverse but gets rammed into the post. Shawn drops an F Bomb at a camera in his face. A shoulderbreaker has Bret reeling and is followed up by a double axe to the shoulder. Hammerlock slam as Shawn channels his inner Anderson. The shoulder goes into the buckle a few times as this is still very slow paced.

Twenty five minutes in and it’s still arm work. Bret hammers away but Shawn gets a DDT on the arm and hooks a cross armbreaker to kill the crowd again. Before the hold was on Vince suggested that Bret should submit. Why? It’s not like there’s a rest period or at least there isn’t one announced. Bret punches out of it and gets a second rope Stun Gun to break the hold.

Slingshot and Shawn “hits” the post. That gets two for Bret whose arm is kind of hanging there. So much for that as Shawn rams him into the buckle to take over again. Bret fights back again and there’s a bulldog. He goes up though and takes way too much time. I think they botch something as Bret grabs Shawn’s hair and rides him down kind of like a bulldog but with the knee in his back. The referee goes down in the collision which I don’t think was intentional. Thirty minutes even left and the referee is up in maybe 20 seconds so yeah that was unintentional.

Shawn gets a powerslam for two. Bret’s arm is magically better somehow. What a shock: Shawn does a ton of work and Bret makes it look like nothing. Bret gets a Piledriver for two. He goes up again and Shawn catches him one more time. Shawn starts drilling Bret, possibly out of anger for the total lack of selling.

Sweet Chin Music is ducked and Bret hits the floor for a bit. Shawn is like screw that and hits a HUGE dive to the floor to take him down. That’s the first big spot of the match and the crowd definitely reacted to it. Shawn goes up and hits a cross body but Bret rolls through for two. The fans are staying into it. Small package gets two for Shawn as they’re definitely picking things up here.

Perfectplex gets two for Shawn. Twenty five minutes left. Shawn gets a sleeper on which is a smart move. That gets broken up and Bret goes into the corner. Now we get the momentum changer of the night as Shawn gets backdropped over the corner and wipes out a cameraman with the only visual we see being Shawn flipping over his head.

Shawn gets rammed into the post on the floor and is reeling badly. Bret drops an elbow into the back. Backbreaker hits as we have 20 minutes left. This is getting close. Bret gets a Banzai Drop down onto Shawn’s back in an oddly cool move. In another cool spot Shawn does his flip in the corner and sits on the top so Bret runs up and does a belly to back off the top for two. Crowd is getting into these kickouts now.

Chinlock by Bret as we need to kill off more time. Shawn gets a sunset flip out of nowhere for two. They kind of just fill time in for a few minutes with nothing special going on. Russian leg sweep gets two. Shawn gets whipped over the corner and over the top, kicking Jose in the head as he goes down. That can’t be good. Is there a pile of dust anywhere? Bret whips Shawn into the railing and Jose goes down again! This is getting awesome!

Fifteen minutes left now. Belly to belly gets two. All Bret here. We finally get an answer about what the Sharpshooter hurts: the back. Shawn gets all pissed off and throws big bombs but Bret gets a shot to the back to take him down. Bret sets for a suicide dive on the floor and it looks rather stupid as Shawn has to stand up in a hurry to get hit by it.

Bret is willing to take a countout. He changes his mind though as he’s not quite ready to turn to the dark side. German suplex gets two as the crowd is getting into this. Shawn tries to fight from his knees so Bret KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Freaking ow man! Back to the chinlock now with ten minutes left.

Nine minutes left and we’re still in the chinlock. Shawn fights it off with 8 minutes left. Shawn hammers him about the head and shoulders with seven minutes left. They’re moving VERY slowly. BIG superplex gets no cover as Bret wants the Sharpshooter instead of the relatively easy pin. Shawn is crawling away as Bret holds the foot with 6 minutes left.

Half crab is on for a bit. Backbreaker hits as we have five minutes left. Bret does the I HATE THIS SO FUCKING MUCH spot as he jumps into a boot. Shawn hits a dropkick to send Bret into the corner. Bret’s chest eats buckle as Shawn can barely move. Four minutes left with both guys down. Forearm and nipup (camera missed it) and Shawn is all fired up.

Jumping back elbow to Bret. Jerry: Shawn Michaels has just gotten his 19th wind! Spinning double axe off the middle rope with three minutes left. Suplex sets up the big elbow for two. Gutwrench sitout powerbomb gets no cover with two minutes left. Moonsault press gets two. 90 seconds left. Kind of a botched rana off the top gets two.

Shawn slams him but collapses with a minute left. He goes to the top but Bret gets up. A dropkick misses though and Bret locks on the Sharpshooter with 33 seconds left! What a shock that it’s tied up and Bret finally gets his hold on with 33 seconds left! Shawn doesn’t give up as the time runs out and Bret collapses. Shawn is DEAD.

Gorilla gets into the ring as Bret is handed the title. Bret walks out and then the Fink says that it’s not over yet by orders of Gorilla. It’s sudden death! Bret is MAD and asks a very good question: why? Why should Shawn get another chance? The ruling was that there would be a 60 minute time limit and Bret survived that. This actually wasn’t fair to Bret at all.

There’s the bell and Bret goes off on Shawn. Jerry and Vince agree Bret is going to have to pin Shawn. Bret whips him into the corner and in one of my all time biggest mark out moments, Shawn grabs the ropes and vaults up, landing behind Bret and kicking Bret’s head off with Sweet Chin Music. The crowd pops and when I was watching live I JUMPED off my couch. Bret staggers up and Shawn kills him dead with another superkick to win his first and by far most famous world title.

Rating: B. Ok now this is going to draw some issues, but this match is not the masterpiece it’s built up to be for multiple reasons. First and foremost, WAY too many rest holds. There are two ways you could make this better. First, make it 30 minutes. Second: drop the Iron Man aspect. Imagine if those near falls were at one fall to a finish. This would have been otherworldly.

Bret’s lack of selling also kills this match badly. His arm was perfectly fine about 40 seconds after Shawn stopped working on it, making that whole 25 minutes TOTALLY POINTLESS. It’s certainly a good match, but this needs to lose about 20-30 or even more than that minutes to work as well as it could.

Finally, this isn’t even the best iron man match the company has ever had, at least not in the same universe as Rock vs. HHH. The reason that was better is simply that you had a reason to keep watching. Here it’s way too dull with the rest holds and the sitting around for so long. Good match, but definitely not a classic or even great for that matter.

At first he’s very reserved and stunned, but then Shawn celebrates like crazy to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Looking back, there’s really very little to this show. You have an overly long six man, a non match, a squash, a midcard match that went nowhere, a solid match, and a main event that was 40 minutes too long. That adds up to very little in my eyes. Check out the last 20 minutes of the Iron Man, the Taker/Diesel match and if you’re bored the first half of Piper/Goldust. There’s just nothing special here.
 
Wrestlemania 13
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont (Chicago), Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: N/A

The company was severely on the ropes at this point with WCW and the NWO running rampant in WCW. The company was still putting on everything they could think of to keep up in the ratings but at this point it just wasn’t working at all. The television shows weren’t to the levels of the Attitude Era that we remember but they were coming fast.

This show more than any other was the launching pad for the Attitude Era but I’ll get to that when the time is right. The main event for this show is the Undertaker vs. Sid for the title, despite the fact that Steve Austin won the Rumble. This one is a bit complicated but here we go. Austin was eliminated by Hart in the Rumble but came back in without the referees seeing him.

He eventually put Hart and the rest out to win the match and the title shot. That same night, Shawn won the WWF Title back from Sid but had to vacate it due to “losing his smile” (more on that later). This led to a four way match at In Your House between Taker, Vader, Austin and Hart who were the last four men in the Rumble. The next night, Bret defended against Sid, losing due to Austin interfering.

A few weeks later there was a cage rematch, before which Austin and Hart were scheduled for a submission match at Mania. Taker interfered to help Sid, hoping to get a title match at Mania. Austin interfered, hoping to get Hart the title so he would defend it in the I Quit Match. Taker got his wish and the title match with Sid who won the cage match. That all brings us here, so let’s get to it.The show is presented by Playstation. That’s never go anywhere.

The opening video is about how there is an anger growing in the company that has messed up a lot of things recently. That would ultimately be called Attitude. No real opening other than that and it’s time for our opening match.

Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks vs. Godwins vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon

This is under elimination rules and the winners get the tag champions tomorrow on Raw. Headbangers were the guys that wore skirts, the Blackjacks were Justin “Don’t call me JBL just yet” Bradshaw and Barry “I had a career once” Windham, the Godwinns you know and Furnas and LaFon were a team that were just kind of around but never did much. They were more famous in ECW and Japan. Not bad, just not great.

Two guys in the ring at once and anyone can tag anyone. We get a quick clip of the original Blackjacks and the new ones say they’re awesome. It’s a big brawl to start of course thanks to the Blackjacks. Henry Godwin and Bradshaw start us off. Bradshaw hasn’t even been able to get his vest off yet. Ah there it goes.

One of the Headbangers in now against Phineas. This is a bit of a clusterfuck so far. Now it’s time for the Headbangers to explode but instead they dance a bit. Not as good as Too Cool but they’re trying at least. LaFon comes in and after a bit of a beating for him it’s off to…I think that’s Windham. Furnas comes in and gets a rana for two.

This is going all over the place and it’s hard to get into for the most part. Some Blackjack double teaming results in a suplex for Furnas over the top to the floor. Furnas/LaFon and the Blackjacks get into a brawl on the floor and I think it’s a DQ for the Blackjacks for shoving a ref and Furnas/LaFon are counted out.

It’s down to the Godwins and the Headbangers for the #1 contender spot. This turns into a regular tag match between two teams the feuded for what felt like forever and never got anywhere at all. Henry vs. Thrasher at the moment. Vince clearly doesn’t know which Headbanger is which and it’s kind of funny. Oh and Hillbilly Jim is the manager of the Godwins.

Phineas and Thrasher spit on each other a few times as Vince implies bestiality between Phineas and a few farm animals. Lawler calls Vince out of that and Ross of course talks about food. Mosh beats on Henry a bit and gets a nice springboard clothesline to Henry on the floor. To top that Mosh pops back up onto the apron and we get a Rocket Launcher to send Thrasher onto Henry on the floor.

Jerry asks Vince about White Zombie. Apparently Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonalds. Ok a point there for a funny line. Thrasher misses a moonsault off the top and here come Phineas and Mosh again. Phineas cleans house and there goes Thrasher. Most breaks up the Slop Drop and it’s a big brawl. Mosh gets a top rope seated senton to Phineas to end it out of nowhere. They would lose the next night.

Rating: D+. This was ok, but that’s it. Having two teams go out that fast just didn’t work at all and this might as well have been the Godwinns against the Headbangers. Not terrible, but not great at all. The tag division was a total and complete mess at this point and it didn’t get any better for a few years and then it died completely for the most part.

Brian Pillman and Sunny talk about the WWF Hotline.

Honky Tonk Man joins us on commentary as he continues to look for his protégé. JR says that he and Lawler look like cousins (they really are.) Joke for insiders there. Obviously, Honky is here for the IC Title Match.

Lou Albano and Arnold Skaaland are in the front row.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Rocky Maivia would drop the y Maivia and add a The, becoming far more famous. Sultan is more commonly known as Rikishi and is famous in his own right. At this point, Rock is still a very nervous rookie but he won the future award or something like that the previous night at the Slammys, so the people knew he had it in him. For no apparent reason, Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik are managing Sultan here.

No one, I mean NO ONE, cares about Rocky at this point. Tony Atlas, Rocky’s dad’s former tag partner is here. Honky is looking for a perfect champion or something like that. Rocky is a nervous wreck it seems. He hammers on Sultan which gets him nowhere. Rocky can nip-up which is always cool to see. Sweet damn how big of a push did both of these guys get in the future?

We head to the floor and Rocky clotheslines the post to give Sultan control. Honky goes into a big rant about how you can’t make mistakes when you’re the champion. That’s very funny considering who Honky is. Clothesline gets two for Sultan and we hit the nerve hold. Honky says he’d already have won the match and be in the dressing room combing his hair. He’s rather funny at this indeed.

Rocky tries to get something going but runs into a knee. Top rope headbutt by Sultan puts Rocky down even longer. One handed cover gets two. Rocky gets a sunset flip but Sultan chokes away instead. Belly to belly by the future Samoan gets two. This is painfully boring by the way. We hit the chinlock to continue the boring nature of this match.

Make that a LONG chinlock to continue the boring nature of this match. Here’s the comeback and it’s a double clothesline. Are they just not wanting this show to be interesting at all? Rocky hammers away and doesn’t do much else. A slam gets two. Rocky’s offense is painfully limited at this point. Maivia Hurricane (Spinning DDT) gets two and Rocky goes up top.

Cross body connects but there’s no referee due to the Sheik. Rocky goes back at Sultan and gets his head kicked off in a nice shot. Naturally it only gets two because an Arabian character can’t win anything in this era of course. Rocky gets one of the worst rollups I’ve ever seen to end this awful match.

Rating: D. How could a Rock match be this boring? This was completely awful and just boring beyond believe. Sultan was somehow less interesting than he would be as heel Rikishi which I didn’t think was possible. Rocky was getting there in the ring but the crowd HATED this gimmick he had so thankfully The Rock was born soon after. Anyway, awful match.

Post match the evildoers do evil and beat down Rocky until the other Rocky, Johnson in this case, comes in to save his son in a moment that is supposed to be charming I think but just extends this already bad segment.

The previous night’s Slammies are recapped.

Ken Shamrock, in this case not a wrestler yet, is the referee for the submission match later on and won’t be intimidated by either guy. He showed what he could do against Billy Gunn. He was a UFC star at the time so this was a big cross promotion thing. He had been what would become the world champion of UFC less than a year ago, so this would be like Randy Couture showing up. Big deal indeed.

HHH says he’s going to destroy Goldust. Chyna is with him and she has NO chest at all.

HHH vs. Goldust

The main point here is that HHH has Chyna who no one knows anything about. She’s supposed to be opposed by Marlena. Think about how this is going to go. HHH had been hitting on Marlena around this time and Goldust wasn’t happy. There’s your backstory. HHH’s music is just freaking sweet for a wrestling theme. When Goldust had his mind right he was a very good worker. Sadly enough that doesn’t happen often.

It’s weird as hell to see Chyna this…manly looking. Yes somehow the more famous version of her was the girly one. Goldie goes into his crouch to start and comes out with the clothesline to get us going. Atomic drop and a clothesline to HHH sends him to the floor. Jerry makes fun of Goldie’s hair and says that Vince has a wig. Vince implies he wears a toupee which has always been a point of uncertainty.

HHH gets tied up in the ropes and it’s all Goldust to start us off here. The future Game can’t get anything going and walks into a powerslam after his tiny bit of offense. Goldust goes up but HHH makes the stop. He sets for a suplex but instead throws him over the ropes and down to the floor where his face hits the apron. Nearly a FREAKING OW MAN moment but not quite.

Helmsley starts to loosen Goldust’s jumpsuit to get better chops in. Why does Goldie’s clothing always come off at Mania? King makes fun of Chyna as HHH takes over completely here. Swinging neckbreaker gets two. Off to an abdominal stretch which was invented by someone named Wilbur Snyder apparently. This show is staying boring for a very long time and it’s not good.

We’re about 45 minutes into this and there hasn’t been a good match yet. Good thing one of the best matches of all time is coming. HHH gets a Flair knee drop for two. Small package from Goldust for two. HHH takes him right back down with a clothesline. Goldust can’t get a slam but can get a cross body for two. And now they hit heads to waste some more time.

HHH tries to go up top but Goldust gets a flying ass shot to HHH to take him down. Why do I think that’s something the Ambiguously Gay Duo uses as a double team move. HHH eats buckle and Goldust hammers away. Bulldog takes HHH down. Chyna moves for the first time all match, going after Marlena. Goldust has the Curtain Call but has to save Marlena. HHH knocks into Goldust which knocks Marlena into Chyna. Pedigree FINALLY ends this.

Rating: D. This went on nearly 15 minutes. This was far too long and far too boring. We’re almost an hour into this show and there hasn’t been a single good match in sight. Terribly boring match and thankfully this was the last time they fought as HHH started feuding with Cactus soon after this.

Shawn is on AOL and isn’t very good at typing.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Mankind/Vader

There’s really no backstory here. Mankind now has Paul Bearer as his manager following Bearer’s betrayal of the Undertaker at Summerslam. On the way to the ring, the champions say they’re going to keep the belts. Ross interviews them and the champions also argue over who the leader of the team really is. This is an issue because Bulldog recently beat Owen to win the first ever European Championship.

Heel vs. heel here which isn’t something you see that often, at least not for a title. Owen and Vader start us off which is good as they had a solid match on a European PPV. After getting pounded down for awhile, Hart speeds things up to start which works pretty well, even taking Vader down with a spinwheel kick. Vader finally is like bitch I’m Vader and powerbombs him.

Davey breaks up the Vader Bomb and somehow that counts as a tag so it’s Bulldog vs. Mankind. Delayed vertical to Mankind and Vader comes in to break up a pin. Here’s a (non-delayed) suplex for you too Trixie. Vader pulls the rope down as Bulldog hits it, sending him out to the floor. With Bulldog hammering on Mankind Vader drills him with the Urn to take over.

Vader kills Bulldog with a corner splash and adds on a middle rope splash which somehow only gets two. Off to Foley who hammers away on Bulldog in the corner. Backdrop takes Davey down and it’s off to Vader again. I love that move Vader does where he more or less hits a standing splash to take someone down. Davey managers to slam Vader off the top and here comes Owen.

Top rope dropkick takes down Vader and a sunset flip causes Vader to fall on his ass. Cross body gets two. Vader is like screw this and runs him over. Why mess with the basics? The challengers get a Demolition Decapitator to Owen on the floor to more or less end him. Hey Stu and Helen are in the front row! I wonder if the fans know they’re sitting next to perhaps the best trainer of all time.

While Mankind puts on a chinlock we look at the crowd and announce the attendance plus say that we are LIVE. Owen gets a DDT out of nowhere but runs into a knee lift to take him down. We get a Wrestling Classic reference of all things. Vader hammers away at Owen in the corner then calls a spot to him. A suplex is reversed and Owen gets a spin kick to get two.

Out to the floor again and Owen gets a belly to belly suplex on the floor to Mankind. Enziguri back in the ring takes Mankind down and it’s off to Bulldog and Vader. Vader’s mask is off and Davey cleans house. He sets for the powerslam on Mankind but he hooks in the Claw. They get knocked to the floor and Mankind gets the Claw again on the floor. Yep it’s a double countout.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here and the ending completely sucked. This was a disjointed mess the entire time and it went over 16 minutes. It’s not completely horrible as the talent in there brings it up (I mean dude, the Bulldog is the worst wrestler in there. That says a lot) but still, this wasn’t anything special in the slightest. A definitive ending would have been nice too.

We recap Bret vs. Austin. Ok here we go. The idea is simple: Bret is losing his place in the company and thinks everyone is out to get him. He isn’t ready to go yet and wants to stay around. After losing the title he left for six months and when he came back the company was different. He talks about how everyone has screwed him over and how he doesn’t like it that well.

There was one guy that Bret thought was the cause of this whole thing: Enter Steve Austin. Austin calls Bret out on his bitching, saying that since he got back he’s done nothing but cry about how much he hates this new WWF. Austin went after Bret and drove him insane, resulting in a huge profanity laced tirade against Vince and the company on Raw.

Bret had already beaten Austin in a classic at Survivor Series, but Austin met up with him again at the Rumble. There Bret eliminated him but Austin came back in and threw Bret out and was declared the winner. Due to Shawn losing his smile, Bret won the title at Final Four and then lost it the next night but still wanted Austin more. Bret’s hatred of this new era was manifested in the form of Austin. The buildup here is incredible to say the least and there was almost no way this wasn’t going to be a classic. The question wasn’t would it be great, but how great would it be.

Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart

Ken Shamrock is guest referee due to knowing submissions. Remember that this is submission only. Nice ovation for Shamrock. Austin gets his famous entrance as actual glass shatters in front of the entrance when he walks through. The idea here is simple: Bret is a submissions master, but Austin can beat on you until you say you quit.

Austin gets in Shamrock’s face which goes nowhere. Bret definitely gets a face pop but it’s not as strong as it was before. Just to be clear: Bret is the face and Austin is the heel coming into this without question. Austin spears Bret down almost immediately and the fight is on. They slug it out and hit the floor for more punching. Austin gets sent into the post but manages to crotch Bret on the railing.

A clothesline sends Bret into the crowd. They head into the crowd and thankfully unlike ECW, there’s a camera there to get a good shot of the vast majority of the action. Bret takes over for a bit and there’s a guy with an NWO shirt on. Austin takes over and tries a Piledriver on the steps. Bret manages to backdrop him down the steps to regain control.

Back to ringside and Austin reverses Bret to send him CRASHING into the steps which go flying. He manages to knock the steps into Austin and hammers away. Hey we’re actually in the ring! Austin steps on Bret’s fingers which is a nice move. Spinning neckbreaker gets Bret out of trouble. The fans are still behind him at this point.

Vince bashes Bret saying that he’ll have an excuse for losing. Bret complained about Vince burying him in the commentary on his matches with Austin and he might have a point actually. Bret cannonballs down onto the knee of Austin and the Rattlesnake is in trouble. He works on the knee with his usual attacks but misses a second cannonball.

Austin pops up and drills Bret with a Stunner to take over. No pins though so he doesn’t have a ton to work with. Jerry says that isn’t good as it could cost him the match. Ross jumps in there and says that if someone is unconscious the referee would stop the match. That is a very important line as it establishes the procedure so they can say “we said that’s what we would do” if that came up.

Bret busts out the Heartbreaker (figure four on the post) for I think the first time on PPV and the crowd is into it. No submission of course as we’re not far enough into the match at this point. Bret grabs the bell and the fans aren’t sure about this. Scratch that as he gets the chair and tries to Pillmanize the leg. Yep the fans still love him.

Austin gets up and CRACKS Bret with the chair as he goes up to the top. Austin is all fired up now and pops Bret across the back with the chair. The fans sound afraid to cheer. Suplex puts Bret down. Middle rope elbow, a Bret move, hits for Austin. Ross gets in some GREAT jabs at WCW, talking about how this is a fight, not about covering a bald spot and various other jokes like that.

Stone Cold hits a Russian Leg Sweep (stealing the Five Moves of Doom again and busts out a Koji Clutch of all things. Never let it be said that Austin can’t wrestle when he has to. Boston Crab goes on to further work on the back. A rope is grabbed though and Austin isn’t happy at all.

Austin tries a Sharpshooter to a GREAT pop. Jerry: “Bret Hart could never submit to the Sharpshooter!” Vince: “Hey it could happen!” I wonder if Vince had some plans for Montreal already. Austin throws Bret to the floor to BIG heat. It’s very interesting to keep an eye or ear in this case on the crowd and see what they think of this match.

Out to the floor and Bret reverses Austin into the timekeeper’s table and ultimately the railing. Austin is busted open and now we get into the meat of this one. Bret hammers away on the cut to a pop but a far more mild one. Backbreaker and elbow off the middle rope from Bret and he grabs the chair. Down into the knee and Ross is morphing into JR.

Sharpshooter coming but Austin rakes the eyes to break it up. Bret hammers in the corner so Austin punts him in the balls which Vince says might have been deserved. Vince be nice. Austin wakes up and turns into the Rattlesnake, stomping the mudhole on Bret in the corner and adding a middle rope suplex for good measure. He gets the electrical cord from ringside and wraps it around Bret’s neck.

He tries to hang Bret over the top rope but Bret grabs the bell. He DRILLS Austin in the head with it to a pop from the crowd. They’re not sure what to do now. There’s the Sharpshooter and everyone rises to their feet. We get one of the most famous images in wrestling history as Austin screams in agony with the blood gushing down his head.

Austin starts to lose consciousness and JR is in his element here, shouting the entire time and it’s just great. For the first time ever, Austin breaks the Sharpshooter but Bret gets it right back on. Crowd is completely behind Austin here. He keeps fighting but eventually passes out and Shamrock stops it. Austin is DEAD but Bret isn’t done.

Bret tries to go after Austin again and the heat on him is insane. Shamrock grabs Bret and throws him off Austin. Ken is all like BRING IT ON but Bret walks away to some of the loudest booing you’ll ever here. Austin tries to get up and Shamrock leaves. Another referee tries to help Austin but he gets stunned. Austin walks to the back on his own and gets a standing ovation. Ladies and gentlemen I give you the double turn. The fans chant for Austin as he goes to the back, and the WWF has its savior.

Rating: A+. This is one of the greatest matches of all time. It’s a war from start to finish and also one of the most complex matches you’ll ever see. Bret was fighting time and the new Attitude in the form of Austin and despite the absolute best he could do, he couldn’t get his way in the end.

The fans are as big a part of this match as the guys out there, making Austin the new hero and Bret the top heel in the company in a single match. That’s hardly ever done and this is the perfection of it. Excellent match and 100% required viewing for fans, as well as the only reason to watch this show at all.

Also, some people, myself included, believe that that match was the official dawning of the Attitude Era. Truly historic.

The blood stain on the mat is kind of creepy. The announcers talk about what we just saw and how awesome it was.

The Nation talks about how they’re going to take it to the Legion of Doom and Ahmed.

Nation of Domination vs. Legion of Doom/Ahmed Johnson

This is a Chicago Street Fight and about the 19th blowoff to Ahmed vs. the Nation. The Nation has like 8 guys with them here but the official team is Farroq/Crush/Savio Vega. The Nation would have actors come out with them to make the Nation look bigger which is kind of a great idea. We hear that Mania 14 is in Boston but tickets aren’t on sale yet.

Remember this is the LOD’s hometown so they’re mad over. Ahmed even has the spikes going on. Ahmed is the original Ezekiel Jackson if you aren’t familiar with him. The LOD brings a kitchen sink with them, starting a joke that was funny a grand total of once. This is going to be a big old wild brawl.

The Nation jumps the good guys as they’re taking off their pads. Crush gets left alone in the ring and then the lackeys come in. Yeah that doesn’t work. No tags here thank goodness. The lawyer gets beaten up, prompting JR to shout that he just got debriefed! The nightstick comes into play as there is too much to call here.

Ahmed JUMPS over the railing with a tope con hilo into the crowd. Not bad for a guy that weighed about 280. Since that isn’t good enough he jumps back over it with a big shoulder block to take down Crush. Hawk swings a big board at Savio but it hits the rope and flies into the air. He catches it but misses Savio. Farrooq gets….I think that was supposed to be a piledriver on the French announce table but they fall off to the side.

The board is used on Hawk in the ring. Total insanity here. Farrooq gets shot in the face by a fire extinguisher. The guy that would become known as D’lo brings out a street sign. This is pure anarchy. Ahmed blocks a trash can shot and puts Farrooq through the French announce table. Crowd is totally behind LOD. The fire extinguisher is used again.

It’s rope time and apparently they’re going to lynch Ahmed. Animal CRACKS Farrooq with that sign. Back to the lynching, this time with Hawk getting in trouble. Crush hits Animal with a wrench of all things. Farrooq goes up with the rope in hand and gets pulled down to the floor by Hawk. Things start to slow down a lot due to exhaustion.

There goes the fire extinguisher again. Spinebuster to Farrooq by Ahmed and I think it’s Hawk firing the extinguisher at Crush. The Nation jumps into the ring and they all beat down Ahmed but the LOD pick off Crush and it’s a Doomsday Device for him. The 2x4 is used as a clothesline to take down Farrooq for the pin. Post match PG-13 takes Doomsday Devices and D’Lo takes a Pearl River Plunge.

Rating: B+. That’s probably way too high but I loved this match when I was a kid and I loved it here. It’s a total brawl from the minute the bell rang and they kept it up for about ten minutes. All kinds of weapons, all kinds of violence and Ahmed showing off the whole time. This match was fun as hell and they did exactly what they said it would be: a fight. Fun as hell match.

In Your House is back next month. I think that would be Revenge of the Taker which was pretty good.

Here’s Shawn to do commentary on the main event. This was kind of a big issue as he was supposed to lose the title back to Bret in the rematch here. Obviously that didn’t happen as he “injured his knee” which he’s hinted at being fake over the years. His entrance takes forever as he’s limping and high fives everyone in sight.

Sid flubs his lines and says he isn’t afraid of the Deadman. Can we PLEASE get someone to say something else when they’re fighting Taker? It can’t be that hard, truly it can’t be.

WWF World Title: Sid vs. Undertaker

This is happening due to Shawn sitting out. It was supposed to be Bret vs. Shawn but Austin was substituted in for Shawn to face Bret. I’m assuming Austin would have gotten one of these guys instead but that’s never been fully answered. It’s weird seeing no Bearer with Taker in this time period. They’re filling in time here as Taker’s entrance takes forever. Shawn and Taker’s combined have taken about six minutes. Also, when’s the last time you saw Taker come out first?

JR points out that Taker has never lost at Wrestlemania, although he doesn’t mention the Streak directly. I love Sid’s pyro. Always awesome. And here comes Bret Hart to take some spotlight up. Vince cuddles Shawn, telling him not to go after Bret in a funny bit. Bret says he and Taker aren’t friends anymore and that Sid is a fraud as champion. He bitches a lot and gets powerbombed for his troubles. Sid yells at him and Taker jumps him to start us off.

This might be the least interesting Mania main event in a very long time. Big boot by Taker and he throws Sid into the corner and hammers away even more. Splash in the corner and we hear about Taker never being given the chance to lead the company which is rather true indeed. Old School hits and Shawn says neither is used to not being the bigger man. One is listed at 6’10 and one is listed at 6’9. Wouldn’t one be bigger?

Sid throws on a bearhug as I guess he needed a rest two minutes in. He hammers away as the fans are more or less silent. They’re not sure who to cheer for as Sid is almost universally popular but Taker is Taker. Sid knocks him to the floor and Taker is sent onto the French announce table. Why pick on the Spanish when you can pick on the French I guess.

Gorilla has sent in word that this is No DQ. Good to know. Sid’s offense is rather limited shall we say. Camel clutch goes on as we rest even more. Middle rope double axe handle takes down Taker. Taker whispers powerslam to Sid, Sid says “HUH” Taker whispers again. Powerslam gets two for Sid.

Sid chokes away as this is boring as hell. Jerry and Shawn make fun of Bret to pass the time. Big right hand in the corner by Sid. Shawn says you can’t beat Sid while he’s standing up. What incredible insight! To the floor and Taker sends him over the railing. They slug it out over the railing and Sid comes back to ringside again. Back into the ring with Taker having a slight advantage.

Yep it’s another rest hold. This one goes on for awhile as have the vast majority of them so far in this match. Taker fights up from his knees and gets a powerslam to take Sid down for two. Oh look it’s ANOTHER rest hold, in this case a nerve hold. Big boot is blocked by a clothesline by Taker for two. Double big boot spot and both guys are down. Can someone put on a test pattern to give us something interesting to watch?

Sid crawls over to get two. He gets another axe handle off the middle rope for two. A clothesline gets no cover as we’re filling in time until the ending here. Another double axe gets punched in the ribs but Sid rakes the eyes to break the momentum. Sid goes up for like the 9th time but Taker stops him for once. Taker gets a top rope clothesline of his own for two.

Neither guy will go for their finishers yet and Jerry thinks they’re afraid of a kickout. Taker slits the throat but Sid reverses into one of his own. Wow that actually worked. Naturally it only gets two because this is Wrestlemania. They slug it out on the floor and Bret Hart pops up again to hit Sid in the back with a chair. Taker rams Sid into the post and back in the ring a chokeslam gets two. Jumping clothesline is ducked and Sid sets for the powerbomb. Bret comes back AGAIN and clotheslines Sid on the top rope. Tombstone gives Taker his second world title.

Rating: D. Sweet DAMN this was boring. This is one of the most lackluster matches I can remember in a long time. After two very good matches, one being a classic, just before this, this is a terrible way to end the show. Who though Sid going over 21 minutes was a good idea in the slightest? Taker’s title reign, much like this match, was boring as hell. The commentary would make you believe he never held the title before.

Taker poses with the belt to end the show. Shawn applauds for like two minutes straight. Sid was gone after this.

Overall Rating
: D. This is a show where one match was supposed to be a classic and it was. The other good match was more or less by accident and meant nothing. This was a bad time for the company but the brighter days were coming. The Border War was coming soon and it would breathe life into the company. Montreal would be the big break they needed and then Starrcade 97 completely saved them. The rest is history. If you didn’t guess, I’m trying not to talk or think about this show anymore. Terrible Mania and one of the worst ever.
 
For me, Wrestlemania 13 is essentially a one match card. As much as I love the lasting image of the Undertaker kneeling holding up the WWF Title with the purple light all around, the night was certainly Stone Colds. The title match became, surprise surprise, about nobody else but Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart. Both of those two did more to damage Sid and Taker then anything those two could have done in that match. Bret Hart semi-shooting on Michaels ducking him at Mania stole the spotlight.

Regardless, Austin vs. Bret Hart was certainly the best double switch I've ever seen. I knew that it was coming eventually, but they pulled that off extremely well. The image of Steve Austin the sharpshooter with blood spilling from his forehead is one of the great lasting images in the entire history of the WWE.

Wrestlemania 13 was a giant clusterfuck as far as the main event was concerned. The bullshit of Shawn Michaels "Losing his smile" so he could duck Bret Hart and having to return the favor from the year before hangs like a black cloud over this event.
 
The only thing I remember about this Wrestlemania is the image of Austin with blood running down his face looking like he is in agonizing pain. What stood out most to me about this match, IIRC, is that Austin did not quit. Instead of quitting, he just passed out from the pain and the blood loss. When he didn't give up, I started to like him a whole lot more than I did before the match. It made his character his character seem tougher without taking away from the Sharpshooter.
 
Which is exactly what the point of the match was. Had it not been for the post match attack by Bret, they both would have walked out faces. The attacking of an innocent man is something that no face would do.

As for the rest of teh card, yeah it's really bad. The show is another example of how the best match isn't always the main event. Austin vs. Hart was the real main event, but it was billed as the mid card special. The Street Fight was really good as well. It set the stage for the hardcore stuff that was coming.
 
Wrestlemania 14
Date: March 29, 1998
Location: Fleetcenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 19,028
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America the Beautiful: Chris Warren

We have arrived in the Attitude Era full blast now. As of last year’s Wrestlemania, it was about as obvious as possible that Austin was going to be the guy that the company put itself on for the foreseeable future. Bret was gone due to Montreal and, we didn’t know it at the time, but Shawn was on his way out. This show was based completely around storyline with wrestling thrown in on the side.

The big deal at this show was Mike Tyson. Floyd Mayweather at last year’s show was nothing but a cheap imitation of this. Tyson being on the show was absolutely mind blowing at the time as he was one of the biggest names in the world. We all knew Austin would get the belt, but with Tyson there we wanted to see how he did it. The other feud was a mind blowing one as well with Kane vs. the Undertaker.

That feud is about as epic as you can get so I’ll go into the explanation for that when it’s time. This was the first show that was completely in the new era and it’s clear that the company was going in a new direction. You can see that in the very first match of the show. Before that though, we get an excellent video talking about how the new generation is killing off the tradition of Wrestlemania, but it questions if they really are doing so. Check it out if you get the chance. Where was I? Oh yes, let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how there’s a new era in the company. This era is full of brash young men that are fighting for the same title that Hogan and Sammartino had. Tonight instead of fighting history, they will become it. Cool opening video.

With no pyro or anything, it’s time for the first match.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Los Boricuas (Vega/Perez), Los Boricuas (Estrada/Castillo), Truth Commission, Bradshaw/Chainz, Nation of Domination (Henry/Brown), Nation of Domination (Farrooq/Kama), Quebecers, New Midnight Express (Bart Gunn and Bob Holly), Rock N Roll Express (original), Headbangers, Too Much (Too Cool), Disciples of Apocalypse, Steve Blackman/Flash Funk, Godwins, Legion of Doom 2000

This is for a title shot the following month at Unforgiven. The LOD is returning here, managed by the epitome of sex appeal, Sunny. If you ask most people here, Sunny was one of their first crushes. Just an absolute goddess. Anyway, this is a pretty big clusterfuck of a match. The rules are that if one man is eliminated, so is his partner. The RVD sign in the crowd amuses me. The crowd is going nuts for LOD, who were always ridiculously over.

We only see the intros of Farrooq/Kama and the LOD, more or less saying who the winners are automatically. Why there’s a remix of their song I have no idea. Anyway, Animal is in shorts now and Sunny is in very little. LOUD LOD chant starts up. Everyone starts on the floor so it’s a big brawl to start. Savio goes out. There isn’t much to say here as everything is a big mess with 30 people in the ring to start.

Kurrgan comes out and eliminates the Truth Commission. Barry Windham comes out to get rid of Chainz and Bradshaw. Thankfully that clears up a bit of space here. D’lo and Henry are out. The Quebecers are out. This is going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. The original Express is out. This is annoying beyond belief.

Castillo and Estrada are out. Headbangers are out. Henry is still in there even though his partner is out. I have no idea who is left. Henry is gone finally. Too Much is gone and Lawler is mad. Uh the Godwins, the DOA, the LOD, New Midnights and that’s it. We slow WAY down and this is just boring.

The DOA is finally out. We went from like two eliminations a minute to one in three minutes. Ok the DOA is still in. Now the Godwins are out as is DOA. The Godwins get their buckets to drill LOD, making it harder for the new Midnights to pick them up and toss them as the LOD are now dead weight. Animal goes under the ropes but Hawk hangs on. I think you know the ending here. The LOD clean house and almost stereo eliminations give the old guys the win.

Rating: D-. This was awful. The ending was known far before the match ended, the eliminations were awful as they went far too fast, and there were WAY too many people in the ring at once with 30 being in there at the beginning. This team went nowhere for the most part but anytime Sunny looks like that you can’t call it a failure at all.

Light Heavyweight Championship: Taka Michinoku vs. Aguila

This is the epitome of filler. No one ever knew what to do with these guys so it would be Taka vs. random opponent of the month. This whole title was just a waste and I don’t think anyone missed it when it was exiled to Metal. It was clearly a response to the Crusierweights, but the problem was simple: most of the good cruiserweights were taken already.

Aside from Taka, the WWF guys had no personality, no substance to them at all, and were just dull. There was absolutely no structure to the division whatsoever. See what I’m doing here? I’m typing this out so I don’t have to be bored to death by this match. Damn it I have to watch it I guess. There was zero transition here at all either as we just start the match. No entrance for Taka either.

They slap hands to start and here we go. This is very much like the Moolah Women’s Title defenses back in the 70s and early 80s. Asai moonsault by Aguila who is only 19. We head to the floor for the second time tonight as Taka hits a huge plancha to take down Aguila.

We go into the ring and the fans go into their seats. No one cares about these guys and it’s pretty clear. There’s a reason why this division bombed and I’ve gone into it already. We go to the floor for the third time in less than three minutes. Taka counters for a bit but gets caught by a top rope armdrag.

Aguila does some great flips and we’re on the floor one more time. Nice corkscrew plancha by Aguila takes Taka down as we’re doing high spot, rest, high spot, rest, lather rinse repeat. Moonsault by Aguila gets two. Middle rope splash gets knees for Taka and the champion is in trouble. Michinoku Driver and a moonsault miss but Taka gets a counter with a dropkick and the second attempt at the Driver ends this.

Rating: D+. The match was fine but at the same time, this was rather pointless. It’s the definition of filler as there was no reason to care about any character. Only Taka got any kind of extended camera time and when the challengers are all gone a week later, why in the world should I get interested? The division never worked and those are some reasons why.

We see some woman that had something to do with Bill Clinton interviewing the Rock. This is completely hilarious as Rock is the most egomaniacal person of all time, saying that all the major issues like homelessness aren’t important as long as his lawn is clean. He’s the judge and jury and is always a hung jury, if you smell what he’s cooking. If my memory is right, that’s the debut of that line. He makes sex jokes about interns and is absolutely hilarious.

European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

This feud is a residual effect from Montreal. The time of HHH as leader of DX was on the horizon as was his face turn. That would lead to one of the best feuds of the late 90s between him and the Rock, culminating in an absolute war in the ladder match at Summerslam. Chris Warren and the DX Band play HHH to the ring. He’s champion here and Chyna will be handcuffed to Sgt. Slaughter, the commissioner, during the match.

We get a quick video of Owen’s bad ankle being destroyed by Chyna and losing the title to HHH as a result. Owen never got his big match with Shawn and was more or less buried and fed to HHH who moved on to bigger stuff. Owen was given the European Title after beating Goldust to keep him appeased but the writing was totally on the wall at that point.

Setting up the handcuffs takes FOREVER. Owen comes out and the fight is on in a hurry. Bret is actually mentioned here which is odd to hear indeed. Hurricanrana gets two. Owen was insane in the ring at times for someone his size. HHH gets in a shot to the knee and we hit the floor. Chyna tries to interfere but gets stopped cold by Slaughter.

Owen takes over again and we go back to the ring. Sharpshooter almost goes on but HHH rakes the eyes. Hart lowers his head and gets a facebuster because of it. Well if you do it that obviously you deserve to get a knee to the face. Crotch chop to Owen. Earl Hebner isn’t here tonight and is in intensive care for some reason. He’s watching Mania though, probably thinking of how to screw over Owen for a change.

Suplex by HHH gets no cover. Jerry screams at HHH to go for the ankle but it’s a Flair knee drop instead. DDT gets two. HHH finally goes after the ankle and the big beaked Canadian is screaming in pain. Owen’s nose is busted. More ankle work but Owen gets some shots in to take over a bit. He ducks a boot and slides HHH’s balls into the post. Get Stephanie stat!

Missile dropkick gets two as the ankle is ok enough for that I guess. Quick belly to belly gets two. Enziguri puts HHH down but it reinjures the ankle and down goes Owen. The delay allows HHH to kick out before the three. Rana is blocked into a powerbomb for two for HHH. Chyna keeps trying to interfere as Owen gets a cross body for two.

Pedigree is blocked into another Sharpshooter attempt but Owen manages to fall on the little Pedigrees again for two. Owen lowers his head again and almost gets caught in the Pedigree again. Instead it’s reversed into the Sharpshooter but Chyna is able to pull HHH to the ropes even with Sarge out there. That’s rather impressive. Chyna gets some white powder from somewhere (read as Waltman) and throws it in Slaughter’s eyes. A low blow to Owen lets HHH hit the Pedigree to end it.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid match but they needed a few more minutes. Also the cheating at the end made the Slaughter aspect completely pointless. It’s good but there’s just not enough there to warrant a higher grade. I liked it though as Owen and HHH were both good in the ring with HHH being a shell of what he would become.

Chyna beats up Slaughter post match to a big pop just because she can.

Apparently we have some technical difficulties as Vince should be checked for a heart attack. I didn’t notice anything.

We recap Sable vs. Mero with him being starved for attention while Sable became a star. He got Goldust and Luna to help him in some weird way. This was one of the weirder angles in the early Attitude Era which is saying a lot. Luna wanted to make Sable ugly and Mero defended her, bringing Goldie into it. This takes like three minutes to explain.

Marc Mero/Sable vs. Luna and Goldust

Oh he’s the Artist Formerly Known as Goldust here. I lay corrected. Mero is a boxer character here which mirrors his real life background. Goldie is of course dressed in a ridiculous outfit. Sable and Luna want to start us off. Sable is about as clueless as you could ask for. Remember that as I’ll get back to it later. Actually the guys start us off as the genitalia have to match here.

Off to the women as Sable gets a loud pop. Luna runs and the chase is on. Luna gets back in the ring and tags out so it’s back to the men. Mero backdrops Goldust and it’s off to Sable and Luna. Luna of course hides again like the heel she is so it’s back to Mero and Goldie again. You may notice Sable is doing NOTHING here.

Goldust gets a clothesline out of the corner to put Mero down and take over for a bit. Both guys go for cross bodies and it’s Goldust taking over again. The fans want Sable and I can’t say I blame them. She does look good here. Sable finally comes in to fight Luna and hammers away. She’s incredibly sloppy and fires “martial arts” kicks. Goldie gets drilled also and Luna is reeling.

She manages to get the tag off to Goldie so Sable hits him too. Mero beats on Goldust on the floor but can’t get a slingshot splash to come back in. Sable distracts the referee and Mero gets a low blow. TKO is countered into a DDT for two. Curtain call is reversed and Mero gets a running knee lift and a moonsault press for two. Top rope rana gets two and a rollup from heel miscommunication does the same.

TKO isn’t as crisp as it should be but Luna saves. Sable tags herself in and tries to pin Goldust. Luna misses a splash and Sable debuts her powerbomb to get two. See, for a big move like that it should END THE MATCH. Instead she ends it a few seconds later with a bad TKO.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here considering the star was Sable and Mero vs. Goldust was the core of this. While the did the lifting here, that still gives us the logical conclusion. Of course Sable gets the glory here by being told she’s such a great wrestler. This led to a somewhat sad story actually. After this match, Luna, a long since established veteran, claims that Sable refused to learn how to take bumps and would only get punched or slapped while Luna did all the work.

After the match, Sable was congratulated by everyone while Luna was left completely alone, with the exception of one person telling her she did well: Owen Hart. If you watch the match, you can see that Sable is completely clueless and is only able to do the two big moves that she knew. Other than that it’s all Luna. Also, Luna had always wanted to be the Women’s Champion, yet never got it because of Sable. A very sad story to me.

Jeff Jarrett and that woman from the Rock interview are presented to the crowd in a total waste of time. Oh and Tennessee Lee, the promoter of Jeff Jarrett, introduces them. He’s more famous as Colonel Robert Parker in WCW. Thank goodness the Nation of Domination’s music plays to hurry this along.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

This was an interesting little feud here. Shamrock was built up to be this fighting machine that had Rock’s number. Recently, Rock had gotten under Farooq’s, the leader of the Nation, skin, claiming that he, the Rock, was the reason for the group’s success. Four members of the Nation including the Rock are at ringside to face Shamrock. God that woman’s voice is annoying as hell. Flowers is doing the announcing if you didn’t get that.

Shamrock really was sweet at what he did. He knew how to fight and he made sure you knew it. While never a great wrestler, he was completely legit and it made him that much more impressive sounding. Rock’s heritage is explained for the ten thousandth time, without it once being explained why his last name was Maivia and his father’s last name was Johnson.

It’s so weird because I’m watching Raw leading up to this as well as this show today so it’s kind of intriguing to see every little bit that set this up. Shamrock had been owning Rock recently and had let Rock get a clean chairshot which would get them fired today. Also Rock hit Farrooq with a chair for no apparent reason.

Shamrock sprints to the ring and it’s on. Rock ducks a lot of punches but gets kicked in the head to take him down. If Rock gets disqualified he loses the title. After some brawling on the floor it’s back in the ring and all Shamrock. The Nation interferes a bit to give Rock control as he sends Shamrock into the steps.

People’s Elbow isn’t quite of the people yet but it’s still good for two. Shamrock is up quickly, likely because it’s just an elbow. Rock is sent to the floor one more time and Shamrock grabs a chair. He shoves the referee down and Rock gets a BIG chair shot to the head for two. That was absolutely sick and is a great example of why those can be a bad thing. Shamrock does his usual stuff, grabs the ankle lock (yes, KEN SHAMROCK brought it to American pro wrestling, not Kurt Angle) for the quick tap to win the title!

Rating: C+. This was very quick but it did the job it was supposed to. Shamrock looked like an animal here and he massacred Rock with relative ease. When it was one on one Rock was completely overmatched and had to cheat to get anything going. The quick tap out was nice also.

Post match the Nation attacks and Shamrock fights them all off. Shamrock grabs the ankle lock again as Farrooq comes down. He looks at Rock and just walks away, more or less turning face. Shamrock grabs the hold again as referees and officials come down. They get their beatings too and Rock is taken out on a stretcher.

Shamrock’s eyes are FREAKY. Due to the beatings, the decision is reversed and Rock keeps the title. He goes after Rock and beats on him even more. Rock wouldn’t lose the title until August at Summerslam and Shamrock wouldn’t get it until October.

The WWF guys say they’re real athletes, which is true.

There’s a gate record tonight as there has never been a more lucrative event in this city. I find that hard to believe with Patriot games or Red Sox games.

Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Ago Outlaws

The backstory here is simple. Jack was feuding with the Outlaws and got tired of getting beaten up, so he got his friend Charlie, a.k.a. Terry Funk to help him. Eventually the Outlaws threw them in a dumpster and threw them off the stage. This match for the tag titles is the result of that act. It’s dumpster match which means you have to put both guys in the dumpster.

Road Dogg is getting the entrance there but doesn’t quite have it yet since they’re not in DX yet. There’s a dumpster at ringside. This is far more of a brawl than a match as you would expect. They hit the floor immediately and the beating is on. It’s Cactus vs. Road Dogg and Funk vs. Gunn. Cactus tries a flip at Road Dogg but bounces off the dumpster instead.

The Outlaws are in control early and manage to get Funk into the dumpster. Roadie hits a Russian Leg Sweep to ram Cactus’ head into the dumpster. That was SICK. The Outlaws slam the lids of the dumpster on the back of the heads of their challengers. Cactus is in the dumpster while Funk is abused. Both challengers are in now and Gunn celebrates but Cactus gets up and gets a double Mandible Claw. They couldn’t shut the lid so the match isn’t over.

Funk pops out of the dumpster with a cookie sheet to hammer away some more. Cactus and Funk take turns giving neckbreakers to Road Dogg as this is a total brawl. Cactus Elbow with a cookie sheet to Gunn on the floor. He looks for more toys and finds a ladder. Oh dear. Cactus and Billy climb it for no apparent reason and get launched into the dumpster.

They both get out but Funk is powerbombed into it by Billy. The Outlaws take Cactus to the back and we don’t have a camera there so we see some replays. Ah there’s a shot in the back with Cactus falling into everything. After being thrown into some massive soda bottles, Cactus finds a chair to even the odds. He puts both Outlaws on a forklift which Funk commandeers to put them in a dumpster to win the titles.

Rating: C+. Hard one to grade here as it was a total mess to say the least. That being said, the challengers worked their asses off out there and it’s not like the Outlaws ever wrestled anyway. The ending would come into play the next night on raw as the Outlaws would get the decision overturned because they were put into the wrong dumpster. Later that night, the company just happened to have a steel cage handy so the titles were on the line in a cage match. DX interfered, giving the titles to the Outlaws, who finally joined DX.

Now we get to the real stuff on this card. This whole show was built around two matches: the WWF Title match, and this one right here. In what might have been the best booked “silly” feud of all time, the Undertaker was set to do battle with his brother Kane. My God this was built up perfectly. Sit back, because this is a long backstory.

After Paul Bearer betrayed Taker at Summerslam 96, Taker was going after him. Midway through the previous year when Taker was WWF Champion, he feuded with Mankind, managed by Bearer. During that feud, Bearer mentioned the name Kane. This drove Taker insane as he kept trying to cover up what this name meant. Finally Bearer revealed that it was Taker’s brother, and that Taker attempted to kill him.

This led to Bearer eventually saying that when Taker’s parents were killed in a fire, the Undertaker was the person that started the fire in an attempt to kill his parents. What wasn’t known was that his brother was in the house with them. Taker says that it was an accident and that he tried to rescue them but firefighters held him back. Bearer would go on to reveal that he was in fact Kane’s father.

This results in one of the worst beatings ever recorded on WWF television, but it ends with Paul saying that it’s the truth and that Kane told him, because Kane was still alive. Apparently Paul rescued him from the fire and cared for him for the last 20 years, which was unknown to Taker.

This was all revealed over a several month long period of time. Finally, in August, Taker was facing Shawn Michaels in the first ever Hell in a Cell match. Shawn gets one of the worst beatings of all time, but as Taker signals for the Tombstone, the lights go out and we hear organ music. An explosion goes off and a 7ft giant walks through the curtain, accompanied by Paul Bearer.

Taker is stunned as this man rips the door to the cage off and tombstones Taker, allowing Shawn to pin him. There was one key to this whole thing that made it work to me: for probably 3 months, you only heard about Kane. Until the night of the Cell match, you never saw him.

You didn’t know what he looked like, you didn’t know how he dressed, you didn’t know how big he was. You knew absolutely nothing at all but what you heard. All you knew was he was the Undertaker’s brother. After all the buildup you got about him, no matter what he looked like when you finally saw him, he was going to be awesome. That my friends, is how you build up a character.

Anyway, Kane of course wants to fight his brother. In the interest of ratings, Taker says no way. Kane begins just destroying people left and right, including two brothers named Matt and Jeff. They never did anything after that I don’t think. Kane would randomly run in and beat people up, all while begging the Undertaker to fight him.

He would come to the ring and beat up his brother, but Taker kept insisting he couldn’t fight his own flesh and blood. Kane punched him one night and raised him hand to do it again, but Taker blocked it. The crowd went nuts over him simply raising him arm. Taker didn’t fight back though and got beaten up again.

Finally, Taker and Shawn were feuding again, leading up to the Rumble. HHH kept interfering, but one night, out of absolutely nowhere, Kane helped his brother. That Sunday at the Rumble, Taker was gang attacked and Kane came out. However, he beat up his brother and shut him in the casket, costing him the match. Kane then locked it shut and set it on fire.

However, after this occurred, it was revealed that the casket was empty, prompting Paul Bearer to be absolutely terrified, knowing that Taker was still alive somewhere. Kane continued to ravage the company, until one night on Raw, the arena was covered by a blue light, and druids brought out a body on a pedestal. A bolt of lightning hit it, and the man on it rose up, revealing himself to be the Undertaker himself.

In a completely over the top yet still amazing promo, the Deadman said he will gain his revenge on his little brother, accepting his challenge for Wrestlemania. The next week on Raw, Kane was in the ring having called out his brother, yet instead Taker appeared on top of the titantron, talking about how Kane would feel his wrath. Taker then threw a lightning bolt at the stage, igniting a coffin that was standing up. Inside was an effigy of Kane, that began burning.

And that finally leads us to this.

Kane vs. The Undertaker

Before the match, Pete Rose appears, insulting Boston. Kane then comes out and tombstones Pete Rose, starting a three year running joke feud between the two which was rather funny in my eyes. This was kind of funny but went on too long. Rose sounds drunk too. Also, was there a need to make Kane a face for 8 seconds like that? Anyway, JR puts it just right: as Taker is about to appear, JR says, “This ovation will be not of this world.” He couldn’t’ have been more correct.

The fans all have their lighters out, they’re going crazy, Taker has a line of druids all holding up torches which he walks under, the lightning, the thunder, the smoke, and Taker dressed in his demonic attire. It was absolutely amazing looking and finally the pair face off in the middle of the ring. This is still the best entrance of his I’ve ever seen. This match might have the best build up I’ve ever seen, which is covering a lot of ground.

Taker’s offense is no sold to start which is going to be something you read a lot in this review. Kane launches him into the corner but Taker keeps moving. Almost all Taker so far. Short clothesline by Kane but Taker pops up. Kane gets him in a Tombstone position but rams him into the buckle instead. You have to remember this is maybe the fifth match Kane had in this gimmick, at least two of which had been squashes. This isn’t something he’s used to yet.

Kane takes over and we slow things WAY down. These two seem incapable of having a good match for some reason. Taker winds up on Kane’s shoulders so Kane shoves him face first into the mat. Well kind of as it didn’t go like it was supposed to but you get the idea.

Out to the floor now as Taker is dropped across the railing. Kane drops the steps on Taker’s back as Bearer has the referee. The steps make a big sound and hit the referee in the leg, yet somehow the referee doesn’t call a DQ. Makes sense right? Taker is apparently trying to get Kane to punch himself out. Chokeslam gets two as Kane pulls his brother up.

We hit the chinlock. Now let’s time this as it goes on for FAR too long overall. Yet again we get the beginning of the Streak wrong, saying it started at Mania 8 instead of 7. Minute and a half on this particular chinlock until Taker breaks it up. A clothesline puts the more successful one down and it’s back to the chinlock. Just a minute this time as Taker lifts Kane up and puts him on the apron.

A big boot finally puts Kane on the floor. Taker dives over the ropes but Kane casually steps to the side and lets Taker crash into the table. Top rope clothesline puts Taker down again for two. You ever notice that everyone manhandles Taker better than the previous guy he fought?

Out of nowhere Taker grabs a Tombstone but Kane reverses into one of his own for a long two count. The crowd is barely alive for this by the way. Taker starts firing punches in and a big shot takes Kane down. Big boot is blocked so Taker has to settle for the Chokeslam. Taker gets the Tombstone but KANE KICKS OUT. This was unheard of as I don’t think that had ever been done.

Kane pops up so Taker has to hit a second Tombstone which AGAIN only gets two. Bearer is clutching his chest as he damn Undertaker to hell. Taker goes up and hits a top rope clothesline to put Kane down one more time. The THIRD Tombstone finally gets the pin as he hooks a leg and Kane kicked out at about 3.1.

Rating: D+. While not great from a technical standpoint, this match’s build up was out of this world. A fine example of the hype carrying a match rather than the in ring work. The streak is beginning to mean something now as it reaches 7-0, although I don’t think that’s mentioned for another three years. The match itself more or less sucked, but the buildup was there and enough to make it passable. Cut about 5 minutes out of this and it goes WAY up.

Kane beats up Taker with a chair post match including a Tombstone on it.

We recap Austin vs. Shawn. Basically there’s not much build up here. Austin won the Rumble and got the title shot. On Raw one night, Vince had Mike Tyson show up as a guest, but Austin got in his face, flipping him off and starting a fight. This is what planted the seeds for the Austin vs. McMahon war that went on for nearly two years. Tyson is named the enforcer referee for the title match, but joins DX in between. It was his involvement with Austin that is credited with putting the WWF over the top of WCW, so in the end this was a great move.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Shawn Michaels

If you didn’t get that, Mike Tyson is a guest referee and allegedly in Michaels’ pocket. Yep Austin is over as hell. Austin and Tyson immediately get in each other’s faces. Tyson is actually the outside referee here which is probably better. He grabs at Austin’s foot just after the bell. As JR says, it don’t get no bigger than this. Austin flips Shawn off as we’re waiting around a bit before we get going.

Shawn scores with some fast punches and then runs like an intelligent lad. Here comes Austin though and we get the Heart Break Ass. Austin goes for the knee, I guess trying to get rid of Sweet Chin Music. Shawn, with his ass still hanging out, gets backdropped onto DX on the floor.

HHH jumps Austin on the floor but the referee doesn’t disqualify Shawn due to it being too easy of a way out. HHH and Chyna are sent to the back to a huge pop. Austin beats up HHH by the band area because he can. Shawn drills him with a clothesline for hurting his life partner though as this is your standard Attitude Era brawl.

Back in the ring Shawn gets caught coming off the top and here comes Austin again. Flair flip in the corner and Shawn is more or less dead. Atomic drop gets two for the bald one. Austin knocks him off the apron and Shawn’s head smacks into the table. That looked sick. Austin hammers away and the elbow gets two.

We hit the chinlock as it’s clear Shawn is far weaker than he usually would be. Shawn fights back though and it’s time for the ring post. Austin pulls Shawn in and Shawn’s head rams the post instead. Nice and simple counter there. We hit the floor and Austin is sent into the crowd via a backdrop. Shawn pops him in the head with the bell which the referee didn’t see. Tyson did though and is like “I want a new rubber duckie. I’ll name it Albert and I can bite his head off in the tub!”

Back in the ring with Shawn dominating completely. He hammers away on Austin while Tyson cheers Shawn on. Shawn flips off the crowd and limps around the ring. Austin gets a kind of spear and hammers away. Shawn goes flying to the floor again and his back must just be dead. He gets the leg of Austin around the post though to reestablish his dominance.

Shawn works on the knee for a good while as he’s trying to take away the Stunner I guess. That makes sense. According to JR that’s what he’s doing at least. Austin gets knocked into the table by Shawn and Tyson throws him back in. Here’s the Figure Four from Shawn as he channels his inner other old crippled dude.

The hold goes on for a good while but Austin reverses and Shawn lets it go. Austin catapults him into the post for two and it’s time for a sleeper from Shawn. Naturally the referee is bumped (with Shawn’s ass going into his face that is) and Austin hammers away. Shawn gets the forearm (minus the jump but I can accept that) and nips up.

Top rope elbow looks to kill Austin but there’s no striped shirt wearing referee. Shawn starts to tune up the band as his face looks horrible from the pain in his back. Austin ducks the kick, Shawn blocks the Stunner, Austin catches the kick, Stunner, Tyson slides in and Austin wins his first title! JR: “The Austin Era has begun.” Perfect description. Tyson puts on an Austin shirt and knocks Shawn the hell out to end the show.

Rating: B+. We all pretty much knew who was going to win here, but we watched to see how Tyson would play in and how Austin would do it. Looking back now and knowing how much pain Shawn was in because of his back, this match goes way up in impressiveness for me.

You can tell when Shawn is selling and when he’s in real pain and it’s good to see that despite Shawn being a complete ass backstage, he would go out and perform despite the pain he was in. I don’t care how big of a jerk he was, that takes guts. This match pretty much comes down to who is going to hit their big move first.

The match itself is much better than I remember it being. That’s not saying much because I, like most people, barely remember it. We all know the ending and the buildup, but that’s about it. Good, underrated match.¬

Overall Rating
: B+. If there’s ever been a show where the torch was completely passed, you’re looking at it. Austin winning the title finally is as about as important of an event as you can possibly have in company history. It launched the WWF ahead of WCW in the war, although that wouldn’t be official for a few more weeks, and it was also the last time Shawn would wrestle for nearly 5 years.

However, even with the Taker match, the solid work elsewhere and only two bad matches, you really do have an all around solid show. It’s not great, but it’s certainly worth checking out. Skip the Light Heavyweight match and about five minutes of Taker/Kane and you’ll love the rest of it in theory.
 
Wrestlemania 14 was a pretty solid card. I seem to remember nearly every match on the card having a pretty good backstory to it. It was the first time the WWE really pushed every match with a decent storyline behind it, as opposed to just scrambling and putting two random guys together.

The night was obviously Stone Cold's night. Being on the net back then, it was still hard to figure how "legit" michaels injury was. I remember many people thought it was the same situation as the year before, Michaels was faking an injury to avoid having to drop the title at Mania. This time, it was actually legit. I also can't find the damn Undertaker OTL video that he says he was going to pretty much kick Michaels ass if he didn't do the right thing. Yes, he actually said it, so quit denying that it actually happened.

Kane vs. the Undertaker may have been the most anticipated match of the night. This feud was a solid year in the making with Paul Bearer hinting at the return of Taker's brothers. The match was a good match for two big men, but it was the fourth year in a row that Taker faced a monster at Mania, and it was getting a bit old.

I always thought that mike Tyson quit counting Michaels at the end of the match took away from Austin's moment at Mania. My opinion only probably, just me knitpicking.
 
Not to mention it was his 5th Mania match in a row where he faced a giant (gonzalez, Bundy, Diesel, Sid, Kane). However, this was different as there was a very solid storyline. The match wasn't about the in ring work but the atmosphere about it. I've always been on the fence as to whether or not this should have been a street fight but I think they went with the right move. We knew Kane could wrestle so it made sense here.

The whole card here is at least ok. It's nothing mind blowing but it's at least good. I'd watch it again if I was bored. The last two matches of course sell the show but the tag titles match was at least watchable. Overall it's a good effort by the company, but the last for three years at Mania.
 
European Title: HHH vs. Owen Hart

These two really didn’t like each other and that showed in the ring. Excellent match with HHH getting to show what he could do in the ring, and he wasn’t married to Steph yet.

Actually, despite Bret's beef with Hunter, he and Owen were actually good friends. All of the hatred and anger you saw in the match was 100% fake and shows how fantastic both of these performers were at this point in their careers.

Other than Austin/HBK, this is the only match on the card that I can vividly remember. It was such an underrated feud.
 
Wrestlemania 15
Date: March 28, 1999
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 20,276
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America the Beautiful: Boyz 2 Men

This show is dripping with Russo here although his time was ending rapidly with he and Ferrara being gone in less than 7 months. All along, this was the main event we knew was coming one day and it was finally here: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. The Rock for the WWF World Heavyweight Championship in the main event of Wrestlemania. Seriously, how awesome does that sound?

While that match really was great, the rest of the card more or less sucks. Russo’s stuff was controversial, but at the same time it made little sense and made for some bad matches. This show may have been ok at the time, but the age hasn’t been kind to it. Let’s get to it.

Boyz 2 Men sing America the Beautiful and do a great job at it.

To begin with, we get an amazing voice over from Freddie Blassie. Go find this and appreciate it. His voice is just perfect for something like this. He talks about how these moments are what define our lives and are so rare. I love these packages as they make you feel like this is the biggest night of your life. As Blassie says, “Welcome to Wrestlemania, the Showcase of the Immortals.”

After that, we get the writing of Vince Russo shoved down our throats.

Hardcore Title: Billy Gunn vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Al Snow

See, this right here is what makes no sense. Billy had been going after the IC title for months. Ok, that’s all well and good. His partner the Road Dogg had been going after the Hardcore title for months. Again, that’s fine with me. So what would be the logical move? Clearly, to have Road Dogg win the IC title and Billy win the Hardcore title!

That’s the problem I have with Russo: he makes swerves for the sake of making swerves. There was no logic or reasoning at all to do this. Billy wasn’t a hardcore wrestler but his partner was. Why not put three hardcore wrestlers into a hardcore match for the hardcore title? Doesn’t that make sense on paper at least? Not in Russo’s mind apparently.

Gunn is over as hell here and has the title. Billy tries to talk and Snow jumps him like a good man would. Holly in black tights and black boots is a weird look for some reason. Snow takes over and kicks both guys a lot. Al sends Hardcore into the Spanish Announce Table. Billy tries to jump in but Snow/Holly are like bitch please and throw him into the steps so they can keep fighting.

We talk about the Big Show Paul Wight for a bit. Snow busts out a hockey stick and hammers away on both guys so we get a Let’s Go Flyers chant. There’s a broom as this is sloppy even by Hardcore Title match standards. Snow goes ninja on us after breaking the broom handle. This has more or less been Snow vs. Holly with Gunn not leaving them alone.

Gunn tries to get in there again and Snow beats the hell out of him for it. Chair time and it’s all the real hardcore guys here. The champion finally does something but then gets drilled in the face by Head to take him down. Snow brings in a table and of course goes through it himself at the hands of Billy. Fameasser onto the chair to Snow but Holly drills Gunn with the chair to get the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The booking made no sense at all. Why have Gunn in there? Seriously, he hasn’t ever done anything hardcore in his life except hardcore drugs. This led to Holly and Snow’s wars over the title in the upcoming months before the 24/7 rule came into play. Nothing worth watching that wasn’t done 100x better later on. Not terrible though, although an odd choice for an opener.

We recap the battle royal on Heat where the final two people got a tag title match. Yes this is how weak the tag division was. See how glad they were to see the Dudleys in about 8 months? Was there a reason why Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett were tag champions? What did they have in common other than a bad haircut?

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. D’lo Brown/Test

D’lo has Ivory, the forgotten diva, with him for this. At the time Test is the hired gun of the Corporation. Debra comes to the ring in a jacket and bikini. Never once have I thought she was attractive. The name puppies doesn’t exist yet but Lawler is looking for it. How in the world did Test get such a huge push later in the year?

Test and Brown start arguing before the champions get to the ring. Test and Jarrett to start but then it’s off to Brown. Off to Test vs. Owen now and a diving powerbomb gets no cover. Pumphandle is blocked and there’s an enziguri. Sharpshooter is broken up as the crowd is dead. Debra interferes and the champions take over for a bit.

D’lo fights them off and gets two on Jarrett. Everything breaks down and Debra tries to seduce Brown. Ivory vs. Debra on the floor as Teri comes out. Owen gets a top rope kick to Brown and Jarrett gets a rollup for the pin. Thank goodness this is over quickly.

Rating: F+. This was a waste of time and not even fun to watch. Not off to a good start here at all. This was less than 5 minutes long. Seriously, was the tag division this pathetic? There were actual tag teams in the battle royal and this is the best we could get? Obviously Test and Brown never teamed again. Stupid as hell all around.

The team known as PMS is out there arguing with Test. Yep it went nowhere. Test and Brown fight for no apparent reason.

And now we have one of the worst ideas in the history of the wrestling business: a Brawl for All match. Let me break this down for you. Brawl for All was more or less UFC meeting wrestling meeting boxing. It was three rounds per fight, a legit fight, and you could use takedowns or punches. Let me reemphasize something: this was legit. That was the biggest problem. Bart Gunn of all people won the tournament.

Who in the hell was Bart Gunn you rookies ask? That is the problem. No one knew who he was and he did nothing after this. The idea was to let a guy named Dr. Death Steve Williams win this and get a huge push. The problem was, Bart Gunn had an insane left hook and he knocked Williams out cold. So of course, since he’s the toughest fighter in the company, WWF thought it was a good idea to have him fight a real boxer. Enter Butterbean, a 400lb fighter that hardly ever lost. This was also a legit fight.

Bart Gunn vs. Butterbean

We get a bad promo from Gunn who proves why he should never get a mic. We have guest judges for this. There’s a no name boxing champion that serves as referee. The guests judges are: Kevin Rooney, who is Mike Tyson’s trainer, Chuck Wepner, who was the inspiration for Rocky and wrestled Andre the Giant, and Gorilla Monsoon who really looks bad here as he would be dead within a few months. Nice ovation for him though.

This is an assault. It lasts about forty seconds and Butterbean shows why he’s a professional fighter. Two big right hands and Bart is out cold. Did WWF really expect something else to happen? We get a ton of replays to desperately fill in the time that didn’t use.

Rating: F. This did nothing but show that real sports like boxing have tougher guys in it. Total waste of time that did nothing at all. Get it through your damn head wrestling people: WRESTLING AND UFC DO NOT FUCKING MIX!

For some reason, the San Diego Chicken runs out. Why? I don’t know. We’re in Philadelphia, not San Diego. The boxing referee knocks him out cold with an uppercut that would have hit the costume and not the person but he goes down anyway of course. You have to love wrestling.
Show and Mankind had a fight earlier today.

Foley says that he’s done everything asked of him and yet he’s still got another match tonight with a big challenge. He doesn’t mind.

Big Show vs. Mankind

The winner here is the guest referee for the main event. Ok, now the story on this one is complicated. This was in the middle of the huge conspiracy angle between Austin and McMahon. A year ago, Steve Austin won the WWF Title from Shawn Michaels. The next night on Raw, Austin stunned Vince, saying he wouldn’t do things Vince’s way.

This set off a two year plus feud between the two with Vince becoming desperate to get the title off of Austin. Vince threw opponent after opponent at him but Austin fought them all off. Over the summer, Taker and Kane started having weird interactions that led people to believe that they were working together to help Vince. While both denied it, they were seen together or with other members of the Corporation, which was Vince’s team.

Eventually, Austin beat them both but was finally put into a “triple threat” match with them in which both pinned him at the same time. This eventually resulted in Austin being fired but holding McMahon at gunpoint the next night. That led to the Deadly Game Tournament at Survivor Series which ended with Rock joining McMahon and becoming the Corporate Champion.

McMahon went on to win the 1999 Royal Rumble to keep Austin out of Wrestlemania. McMahon said he forfeited his spot, which was awarded to Austin. Austin had to defend his shot against Vince in a cage match at an In Your House in a cage match, where Big Show debuted and cost Vince the match by mistake.

This whole time though, Mankind had tried to get on McMahon’s good side but Vince kept taking advantage of him. Mankind wanted to be involved in the main event at Mania but Vince kept throwing him into unwinnable matches that he continued to win. Finally Vince said he could be part of the match, playing the role of guest referee if he beat an opponent at Wrestlemania.

Oh hey there’s a match here. Mankind has a referee shirt on and fires away to start. And there’s a boot to take care of that offensive streak. They hit the floor and Foley can’t get a double arm DDT out there. All Show here for the most part as he hits a Russian Leg Sweep to put Foley down again. Mankind manages to fight back and sends Show over the ropes.

There’s Socko but Show fights him off. Ok no he doesn’t as the hold is on again. Damn it make up your mind! We’re at the third Claw in like a minute. For some reason Mankind gets behind Show as the fans chant Foley. Show is able to get up and drop backwards onto Foley to break the hold in a nice counter. The replay shows how awesome that really was.

We head to the floor with Show in total control. There’s a chair shot to the back of Mankind and that’s ok apparently. Two chairs and the two guys go back in there. Foley is holding his ribs here due to reasons of extreme pain. Show sets up both chairs and chokeslams Foley through them, as in I don’t think they hit his back at all. Foley is the referee for the main event.

Rating: C-. Considering who you have out there, this is a pretty decent match. I’ve never liked the ending though, but that comes into play later on in the show. Good effort helps this match a lot. That bump from Foley where Show fell on him was absolutely great. This was designed to get us to the end of the show and I think it worked ok.

Post match Vince comes out and isn’t happy. For some reason he’s on a mic and we can hear him perfectly fine. Show gets all pissed off at him and picks him up for a chokeslam but sits him down. Vince, ever the genius, keeps mouthing off to him and slaps him. Show knocks his block off and turns face. This would result in the formation of the Union and Vince still being a face for a total of a month before Vince was revealed as the Higher Power in an incredible moment.

Mankind is taken out on a stretcher and likely won’t be able to referee tonight.

In the back, Patterson and Brisco try to get Vince back together, making him feel better by saying Mankind is in no condition to referee. Apparently he wants Show arrested.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Goldust vs. Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis

Again, what in the hell is this? What logic does this have to it? These four actually had something close to a story if you can believe that. Road Dogg does his pre match thing that is so over it’s scary. Why is it scary? He calls himself the IC Champion of the world and gets a pop.

Oh yes the story. Ok so Shamrock and Venis, the former champion, were feuding for the title but the fans weren’t getting into it. What’s the solution? Add in Billy Gunn. Alright I guess that works. Three way feuds are hard to pull off but they can work. So what’s the end result of this? Give the title to Road Dogg of course. Why do that? I don’t know, they just did it. So ok, we have Billy Gunn leaving the feud to go for the hardcore title as we discussed earlier, leaving us with Shamrock vs. Venis vs. Road Dogg. Alright I guess that can work.

BUT WAIT!!!

Enter Ken Shamrock’s so hot it’s mind blowing sister Ryan (yes Ryan.) She sides with Goldust of all people after making a “porn” movie with Val Venis, so Shamrock has a problem with them too. Goldust wants the IC Title, so we’ve got a fourway feud where the champion is holding onto the title for his tag partner as two of the guys feud over a sister who is hot as hell but has a man’s name but made a porn movie with the former champion.

So did you get all that? Actually, when you look at Ryan up close, she’s not as hot as I remember. Her eyes are just absolutely creepy looking. If you avoid those, amazing though. This has elimination rules of course, as one fall simply wouldn’t be enough, but only two in the ring at once with the others having to be tagged in. You know, when Road Dogg was being normal and didn’t have Billy around, he wasn’t bad at all.

Ryan comes out with Goldust and the Blue Meanie because it would tick of Ken the most. The line that Road Dogg is the only one that doesn’t have history with Ryan is funny. Shamrock sends Road Dogg into the corner as they’re the official starters here. Why would you want to come in if it’s last man standing? Lawler talking about the steamy night in which Pat Patterson won the IC Title in Rio is great.

Val stomps away at Ken as it’s Val vs. Goldust at the moment. Curtain Call is countered and a spinebuster from Val gets two on Goldust. Val reverses a middle rope suplex into a bulldog for two. Fisherman’s Suplex gets two as well. They collide in the corner and Val does Sting’s fall into the crotch spot. Shamrock gets a DDT on Goldust and Road Dogg puts Val down so they’re both down.

Goldust gets the cover for a very long two. Off to Roadie vs. Val now and Road Dogg chops away which gets WOO every time. The dancing punch puts down Val. Make that it puts down everyone. Shaking kneedrop to Shamrock but Val suplexes Roadie for two. Lot of kickouts in there. Pumphandle puts down Val and Ken grabs the ankle lock on Val who makes the rope. This would be a lot more interesting if this was one fall.

Ken is sent to the floor and Ryan yells at him. Val hits a baseball slide into the back of Ken and now they fight up the aisle. Yep it’s a double countout for those two. Down to Goldust vs. Road Dogg now. That’s rather cheap and we needed to do one fall as you can tell. Shamrock hits a belly to belly on both guys and we’re at another count. Ryan trips Goldust, turning on him for zero reason at all and Roadie gets a rollup to end it.

Rating: D. Storylines aside, the wrestling here wasn’t bad. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad. However, the booking was just mind numbingly stupid. What was the reasoning behind Dogg and Goldust for the title? Simply put: there isn’t any. Road Dogg absolutely steals the show here, and that can’t be a good sign. I have no idea how the title fell this far this fast but it’s amazing to think that it did. Jericho, Benoit and Angle were coming though.

Show is arrested in the back and cracks jokes of course.

Time to recap HHH vs. Kane. Ok, yet again, we have a complicated backstory. Chyna was part of DX which had HHH as the leader in the role of the incredibly popular midcarder that was just waiting for his chance to break through to the main event, kind of like Jeff Hardy a year and a half ago. Kane was part of the Corporation but was over, and Chyna betrayed DX to join the Corporation.

Kane and HHH had a match on Raw where Chyna held HHH for a fireball from Kane. HHH ducks and Chyna’s eye is damaged, causing Kane to pick her up and carry her to the back, drawing cheers to the heel carrying the still popular heel. 2 weeks after that, HHH dressed up as Goldust and launched a flamethrower at Kane, burning him again. That brings us here. This is at the point where Kane is starting to seem human, but still is partially a total monster. Apparently he has a crush on Chyna though.

HHH vs. Kane

Pre match the San Diego Chicken runs back out and is unmasked as Pete Rose. Yep it’s another tombstone for him. What a great tradition that is. HHH’s music hits but he sneaks through the crowd and hits Kane low to start us off. He still throws the swinging uppercuts which were always a little weird. HHH should go back to the long tights. They suit him better to me.

Kane charges but HHH backdrops him to the floor. HHH sends him into the steps as HHH is showing a lot of uncharacteristic power. The leaping knee keeps Kane outside the ring and we’re back on the floor again. We finally get back in the ring and then Kane throws the future Game right back to the floor. He grabs a chokeslam but drops HHH balls first onto the railing.

The Mean Street Posse is at ringside as HHH’s back is rammed into the post multiple times. Leg drop gets two for Kane. HHH gets a boot up in the corner but now we’re going back to the floor one more time. Kane DIVES over the top to crush HHH. Nice one too. Back in and Kane can’t hit the top rope clothesline. HHH hammers away and a facecrusher has Kane in some trouble. A jumping knee to the head does put him down.

And here’s Chyna as we get to the point of this match. Remember she turned on HHH to join the Corporation and in theory Kane. Pedigree is countered and both guys are down. Chyna slides the steps into the ring but HHH kicks them into Kane’s face. Drop toehold puts Kane into them as the referee is like screw it.

Out to the floor again and another Pedigree is countered. Back in the ring and Kane hits the chokeslam but Chyna has a chair. She wants to get the big shot in on HHH and of course she turns on Kane, hitting him with the chair for the DQ. HHH pops him with the chair to save her so we get the big emotional reuniting after the two weeks apart.

Rating: D+. WAY too much brawling on the floor and the ending was stupid as hell given what was coming in about 20 minutes. This was basically HHH trying to hit the Pedigree for 10 minutes and then the Chyna stuff. These two would get a bit better over the next year but still this was pretty weak.

As you can guess, Vince declares himself the referee for that night.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Tori

Now this isn’t Torrie Wilson, but Tori, a woman that did almost nothing at all in her whole career yet never got fired. Sable is in the middle of her heel run here that absolutely couldn’t have been much worse. Basically she thinks she’s the hottest thing ever and is better than everyone else. Oh and she’s in Playboy. Tori had just gotten done with the same angle that Mickie and Trish had a few years back with Tori being the psycho stalker. Let’s make this quick please? Tori’s outfit is um, different.

Tori is in some freaky looking full body suit and this is her debut. Oh dear. Sable dances a lot while Tori can’t get in the ring. She gets in and then is tossed around a bit. It’s clear that neither have a clue what they’re doing. Sable tries a cross body from the apron which is more like a knee to the face. There’s no point in me telling you what’s going on for the most part as a lot of it is so bad you can’t tell what they’re even trying to do.

They try, and that’s the most important word here, a bridge into a backslide and I’m counting three different botches in it. As in they botch, fix it, then botch again. Three different botches. That’s bad. Like, very bad. Ref is bumped. They botch the Sable Bomb as Tori winds up sitting up. Nicole Bass runs in early so she has to hide at ringside. She comes in to save Sable and the Bomb ends it. Thank goodness.

Rating: F. This is one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen. Also do we have proof that Bass was born a female?

We recap Shane winning the European Title in a total fluke. This started the Mean Street Posse I think. It really was funnier on the second look through. That sets up Pac vs. Shane in a Greenwich street fight where the Posse helped Shane win. The rematch is tonight.

DX says they’re stronger than ever. X-Pac says the great line of Shane, get ready for some pain. And remember: DX is UNITED!!!

European Title: Shane McMahon vs. X-Pac

Shane won the title in a tag match on Raw a few weeks ago after X-Pac got beaten down and Shane fell on him for the pin. If DX is united, why does X-Pac get attacked by the Stooges since he’s on his own coming to the ring? GREAT logic there. Test is with Shane as the backup I guess. They try to play up the culture war here which is kind of funny to put it mildly.

No contact yet as Shane runs. They head into the ring where Pac kicks Shane’s head off and hammers away. Test pulls Shane out of the way of a Bronco Buster. We hit the floor again and Test grabs X-Pac and crotches him on the post. Shane gets him down and sets for the Corporate Elbow but Pac gets out of the way. Another low blow by Shane and he gets his hands on Test’s belt to whip away at Pac’s back.

X-Pac manages to get a backdrop to send Shane to the floor and get some relief. Pac dives down on him but the Posse grabs him to break the momentum. Great to see that UNITED DX right? The help from Shane’s friends including a beatdown from Test sets up Shane on offense again.

Back in the ring with Shane getting crotched on the top rope. A superplex gets two and Test accidently rams himself into the steps. Pac gets the belt and slaps away at Shane which for some reason drawing WOOs from the crowd. There’s the Bronco Buster but Test drills Pac with the European Title to kill him dead. That gets two and the fans ROAR.

Shane sets Pac up for a Bronco Buster but X-Pac avoids it again. Test comes in and shouts OH SHIT as Pac takes him down. Back to Pac whipping that Corporation ass as he gets Test in position for a Bronco Buster. HHH and Chyna are here and HHH pulls Test out of the ring.

X-Factor to Shane kills him dead, but as Chyna distracts the referee, HHH turns on X-Pac and in turn joins the Corporation by hitting Pac with a Pedigree and putting Shane on top for the pin. Yes, within two weeks Chyna had turned heel to join the Corporation then 20 minutes earlier Chyna turned face again then now HHH turned heel and joined the Corporation. This was a very confusing year.

Rating: C+. Well let’s see. The drama was there and considering it was Shane in there as a guy that wrestles maybe three real matches a year, this was pretty good for what it was. Not a great match or anything but the crowd was way into the kickouts and the turn at the end was shocking. It made little sense but it was in fact shocking.

HHH and Test beat down X-Pac post match. The Outlaws run out for the save but get beaten down too. It might have helped if Billy hadn’t literally slid across the ring. Kane makes the final save, apparently turning face in the process. So let me see if I’ve got this straight. Kane and Chyna came into the show as heels and HHH as a face. At the end of the show Chyna and HHH were heels and Kane was a face. Somehow in there Chyna turned twice. This was typical for the Attitude Era. You really did need a scorecard to keep track of things around this time.

Time to recap Bossman vs. Undertaker. Some of this stuff goes past Mania but for the sake of this it’s ok I think. Ok. This match and this angle right here sums up the entire Attitude Era and Vince Russo’s booking style. Here’s what’s going on. Taker is fed up with Vince ordering him around and says that he owns Vince’s soul. He starts abducting and crucifying Shane and other Vince associates as a sacrifice to the so called Greater Power.

Eventually, he has Stephanie’s (yet to debut mind you) teddy bear and lights it on fire, showing Vince that not even his home is safe. Taker’s symbol is burned on Vince’s lawn to show the same idea. Now a month after this at Backlash, Stephanie was kidnapped by Taker and the Ministry, being “sacrificed” that night. Taker said he would release her in exchange for ownership of the WWF.

Vince tries to go through with it but Taker instead goes to the ring for a “wedding” with Stephanie, but Austin makes the save. Later, the Corporation and the Ministry merge on the first Smackdown special. Vince forms the Union with himself, Mankind, Show, Shamrock and Test for four weeks. On the fourth Monday of their existence, Mankind went out of action with an injury and the Higher Power arrived.

He was covered in this cloak and Vince pops up on the screen, saying he wants to see this bastard’s face. They pull the hood back and Vince is the Higher Power. The terrorizing of his family, the abduction of his daughter, the injuries to himself, the absolute insanity were all just to get the WWF Title off of Steve Austin and Vince was in on it the whole time. That my friends, is what defines the Attitude Era: over the top angles, betrayals left and right, and one guy being in on something all along.

Where was I? Oh yes, Hell in a Cell. Bossman was the head of security of the Corporation at the time so he was handpicked to take on Taker in this match. Think about this: these two in the Cell? Following the other PPV matches in this structure of Mankind/Taker and Taker/HBK, on a scale of 1-10 how bad is this going to be? Start counting backwards. When you get to the end of the match, you’ll be close.

Undertaker vs. Big Boss Man

The only good thing here is that Taker’s music is straight up bad ass. No entrance for Boss Man if that gives you an idea of how much of a chance he has here. They stare it down to start as we talk about the other great matches that Taker had in the Cell. Boss Man hammers away in the corner to start as the announcers try to tell us this is Boss Man’s environment. That’s just amusing.

So far it’s a wrestling match in the Cell. If you’re going to have a Cell match, MAKE IT VIOLENT! Boss Man gets a swinging neckbreaker inside a Hell in a Cell match. I give up. Boss Man knocks him down, Taker sits up, Boss Man knocks him down again, Boss Man says GET UP, Taker sits up. We go to the floor as this is two minutes in and I’m bored out of my mind already.

Taker beats on Boss Man on the floor but Boss Man finds some cuffs and attaches him to the Cell. With Taker stuck to the cage, Boss Man finds the nightstick so Taker tries to kick it away. Yep that doesn’t work so Boss Man hits him in the head with the stick. Taker falls to the ground and it breaks the cuffs. Must not have been made in America.

Blood on Taker’s head now. The referee yells at them. Uh, for what? Taker grabs Boss Man by the throat and throws him face first into the Cell. The Cell moves when Boss Man is rammed into it. Also Taker is fine after being hit in the head by a damn nightstick. Taker finds a chair under the ring while Paul Bearer talks trash. Big chair shot as somehow we’re over halfway done with this.

Taker is back in the ring now while the fans are chanting something. Some idiot fan decides he just HAS to stand up and look at the camera so that everyone sees him and not the match. Nice guy isn’t he? Boss Man is bleeding now too. Back in the ring now and Taker hits a flying clothesline for two.

Taker sets for Old School but Boss Man kicks the ropes to crotch Taker. Cole: “Boss Man kicked the rope and Undertaker felt it.” You can’t buy insight like that people! They slug it out and we go WAY wide for some reason. As in you can see either end of the arena and the Cell is in the middle. Random as hell but whatever.

Boss Man puts Taker down with a headbutt but Taker almost gets a Tombstone. That’s blocked but the second attempt at it isn’t. Boss Man is of course dead and we have a Cell match that lasted less than ten minutes in total. Why in the world did this happen again? Oh yeah so we could do the post match thing.

Rating: H. As in holy hell why was this a Cell match? They managed to ruin what is supposed to be the easiest match in the world. This was less than ten minutes long and totally boring as hell. No one bought Boss Man as a legit threat here and it sucked beyond belief. Terrible match and one of the biggest WTF moments in WWF history.

Post match the Brood (Edge, Christian and Gangrel) comes down from the ceiling and breaks into the Cell with a rope and noose. Bearer raises the Cell so Boss Man is then hung from the Cell and just stays there. Great indeed.

Hey, while a man who was hung from a Cell by his neck stops struggling, let's talk about the RAGE PARTY! Yeah it's stupid.

We recap Rock vs. Austin. In short, Vince had pulled some strings to get the title off Austin and put it on his crown jewel, the Rock. Austin came second at the Rumble and then got the match after Vince forfeited his spot. This is the big blowoff and Austin is clearly getting his title back here. Oh and the beer truck happened in there too.

Jim Ross comes out to call the main event. Well this just got a lot better. Vince comes out to be referee but what’s that I hear? That would be the music of Mr. Wrestlemania himself, Commissioner Shawn Michaels. HUGE pop for Shawn and he brings a referee with him. Is this a Hardcore Title match? Shawn might be a little drunk.

Shawn of course says that only the Commissioner can appoint special referees. Why in the world is that the case? Vince can’t like, override that? Also the Corporation is barred from ringside. Shawn says that if Vince tries anything, the two of them will have a fight of their own out back. I’d pay to see that. I did actually. I think it was called Wrestlemania 22.

WWF Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Champion comes out first here which is always weird to see for some reason. Damn I love that belt. Austin comes out in a t-shirt which looks weird as hell to put it mildly. Here we go immediately as Austin fires the first punch. We’re on the floor almost as soon as the bell rings and there goes Austin’s shirt. Back in the ring now with Rock in control.

This is No DQ by the way. I forgot to mention that earlier. We head into the crowd because this is 1999 and that’s required. They get back into the ringside area so they can go right back out of the ringside area and back into the crowd. Rock chokes away with the electrical cord and we head up towards the entrance.

Austin gets a clothesline to take over as this has been a total brawl the entire time. They’ve been in the ring about 9 seconds out of 5 minutes of fighting. Rock backdrops Austin onto the lights and Austin’s knee may be injured. Austin sends Rock into the massive logo and walk around a lot. They look at the ring but first it’s a suplex in the aisle.

They’re around the ring now but it’s not time to go in there yet. Rock grabs some water and of course it goes into Austin’s face. Austin puts Rock onto the Spanish Announce Table and drops an elbow on it. Naturally it doesn’t break. Austin’s solution: drop another elbow until the damn thing explodes! Rock is more or less dead Austin gets some water and spits it in Rock’s face. Nice touch.

HOKEY SMOKE WE’RE IN THE RING!!! And never mind as Rock rolls to the floor. Rock wraps it around the post and we’re on the floor again. Rock goes into the steps again and now back into the ring. Out of absolutely nowhere Rock hits the Rock Bottom for two. That surprised me and I’ve seen this match multiple times. Rock hits the floor and grabs a chair.

Austin gets the chair but caves Chioda’s head in with it by mistake. No referee now and Rock gets a swinging neckbreaker to put Austin down. Stunner is reversed and here comes Rock. He goes after the knee with the chair and Austin is in trouble. BIG chair shot puts Austin down for two as a second referee is here.

Rock throws on a chinlock as we finally get some help for the other referee that got his head cracked by the chair. Austin fights up and hammers away with rights but walks into a Samoan Drop for two. Rock hits the referee with a Rock Bottom. Stunner to Rock and Earl Hebner runs down for two. Get Foley out here already.

Here’s Vince who wants a showdown with Austin. It’s enough of a distraction for Rock to get a low blow to Austin and Vince is in the ring now. Vince pops Hebner, making a need for referee #4. Rock stomps a mudhole into Austin and here comes Mankind. BIG pop for him hitting Vince. Austin grabs a rollup for two as it’s Austin, Rock and Foley in the ring.

Thesz Press by Austin and Rock is in big trouble all of a sudden. Rock fights back and there’s Rock Bottom #2 and it’s time for the Corporate Elbow. Austin moves and tries the Stunner but Rock counters into an attempt at another Rock Bottom. Austin fights out of it and a Stunner gives him I think his third world title.

Rating: B+. This was supposed to be an absolute brawl and that’s what it was. They would have far better matches as Rock wasn’t someone that you could really buy as a world champion at this point. Well you could but he wasn’t at the level of Austin. Granted no one was but you get the idea. Anyway, good match but not a classic at all.

Much beer is consumed and Vince is beaten up to send the fans home very happy.

Overall Rating
: D. Oh this was bad. The main event is good and some of the other matches are ok, but for Wrestlemania this was really bad. Things would get better in two years but we had another year to get through first. This wasn’t the worst show ever but at the same time it was damn close. Weak show but this era was never really about high quality in the ring. Until next year.
 
Wrestlemania 15 ranks in the bottom 3 Wrestlemania's of all time along with 2 and 11. This is one of the biggest pile of shit cluster fucks of a card that I have ever watched. As decent as the previous years Mania was, this years Mania sucked in comparison.

I hated Rock vs. Austin. At the time, The Rock was in no way, shape or form ready for the main event at Mania. He was completely over matched by Austin in terms of credibility, and it was just a shame. I still contend to this day that Austin was bigger then the title at this time, and McMahon vs. Austin would have sold this pay per view like no other, but they gave that away the month before. McMahon vs. Austin should have been the main event, because it was the year long feud with the build.

Hell, I'd take Big Show making his debut, and then winning the title the next night on Raw from Foley in the main event over hte Rock. The Big Show was the first star to jump from WCW to the WWF, and I felt that hte WWF should have used that to their advantage. At the time, Big Show vs Austin would have sold better then the Rock. The Rock and Mankind should have ended their feud at Mania, as it was a solid mid card, upper card feud.

In the end, just a truly terrible waste of time, and a Wrestlemania to certainly avoid.
 
Have to agree on the title situation. St. Valentine's Day Massacre got a great treatment the month before. Foley being the referee just made little to no sense here at all. He was barely involved in it and I suppose was there as a referee that couldn't get beaten up. This is Russo at his finest though: angles that are flashy but don't hold up at all.
 

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