FunKay the Inevitable
People Like Me, We Don't Play
Okay, I guess I'll explain what's going on first. I've been wanting to do at least one review for quite a little while and finally had the desire to do one today. It might be the only one I ever do (I doubt it, but it is possible) so I thought I'd start big and go with my favourite WrestleMania; WrestleMania XIX (that's 19 for those of you not up-to-date on your Roman numerals). My review style is different to that of X/Meltzer's stars or KB's letters in that I'll be doing out of 10's. I'll also try to include a little more video material than those guys with video packages and themes.
Date: March 30th 2003
Venue: Safeco Field, Seattle Washington
Attendance: 54,097 (Record)
Theme: Crack Addict - Limp Bizkit
Okay, so some background before we head into the show. First off, there are five big matches on this card, two for the titles and three being big grudge matches. Naturally they'll be sprinkled throughout to give the crowd a break right? Uh, no actually, they're all on last. To give you some idea of where we are in terms of history, we're in the midst of Triple H's war on WCW as he's taking on Booker T tonight and SmackDown is just kicking RAW's ass in terms of quality with fantastic wrestlers in Benoit, Guerrero('s), Mysterio, Team Angle (Haas & Benjamin) as well as both of tonight's main event opponents in Lesnar & Angle. On with the show.
We go straight into the opening video package which is incredibly basic, but pretty good. Obvious stuff is said about how it's "The Showcase of the Immortals", "Grandest Stage of All" "World Series Match" etc... plus there is extra serious music playing just so you know they mean it. The stage looks pretty damn cool and the ramp is LONG. JR welcomes us (John Wayne cufflinks and all). JR brings up that it's his 10th Mania and Lawler assures us it'll be huge. Cole and Tazz say hello also and are excited. This is Tazz's first Mania as a commentator as we start our first match.
Cruiserweight Championship: Matt Hardy (C) vs. Rey Mysterio
This is Rey's first Mania appearance and Matt's first as a singles star. No real story other than Matt's in the middle of his Mattitude gimmick, which was sweet, and dropped a fair bit of weight to become the Cruiserweight Champion. Amazing to think that Rey would be a multi-time world champion while Matt's just been released by TNA and is in the hospital as I write this. Our Matt facts for the day are that this is Matt's 4th Mania and he wonders how they did it without him. Rey does a corkscrew plancha immediately and it's obvious that this is before his knees were totally messed up.
We're no more than 30 seconds into this and Shannon Moore (Hardy's Mattitude Follower (MFer)) has interfered twice. Apparently Matt's now off the banana juice which he used to get his weight down. Tazz would talk about that forever in a day on SmackDown in 2003. All Matt so far. He gets two off the Side-Effect. The fans get behind Rey as he delivers a couple of springboard crossbody's. Pretty solid stuff so far as Rey manages to maintain his control.
Rey goes for the 619 (still a stupid move today) but gets tripped by Moore (again) and Mysterio takes the Twist of Fate. Cole even says it's over, but Rey kicks out on 2 to Matt's surprise. Matt goes for a Splash Mountain Bomb (Razor's Edge into a sit-out powerbomb), but Rey counters with a hurricanrana. Moore interferes once more and puts Hardy's foot on the ropes. Matt counters a springboard roll-up into his own roll-up and, with the help of the ropes, gets a three count to retain. Cole credits Moore with a major helping hand, and he's right...for a change.
Rating:6/10
6/10 is about average, so this is just about that. It's a fairly good back-and-forth action with Matt having to resort to cheating to help him gain the win and avoid the 619. Matt would remain champion until June where, in San Diego, Mysterio would finally win the belt.
We throw to backstage where a limo pulls in (Cole: What's this? Tazz: It's a limo!) to reveal the Miller Light Catfight Girls...yeah I don't care either. More on them later.
We then show Nathan Jones getting taken out by Big Show, A-Train and Nunzio on Heat before the show, meaning that Undertaker has to face Show and the former Albert all by himself.
Tony Chimel then introduces Limp Bizkit as, and I quote, “The WWE’s Favourite Band in the World”. They play “Rollin’” as Taker, American Flag and all, comes out.
The Undertaker vs. The Big Show & A-Train
Basically, Taker was injured by Show back in October only to come back at the Rumble. He said his new philosophy was to "Just Shut Up & Fight" which led to Show sending Taker a bunch of apologies through the likes of Kanyon (singing Culture Club) and Brian Kendrick (dressed as a bell-hop) as well as a bunch of crates. Eventually they had a match at No Way Out which Taker won with a Triangle Choke. A-Train, Show's buddy, got involved so Taker brought in a protégé in Nathan Jones. The only problem was Jones was, as Bill DeMott would say, greener than goose-shit. So Vince pulled him and made it a handicap match. That was more complicated than I realised.
Cole suggests Taker's streak is at jeopardy...yeah, I severely doubt that. Taker beats both guys up to start, even hitting the Chokeslam for two as Show pulls Taker off. Taker is dominating here. Cole informs us that Taker's nephew is in Iraq while Tazz speculates that Taker could kick Iraqi backside. Show causes a distraction for A-Train who hits Taker with a Chokebomb. Show beats Taker down on the outside for two. He goes for a Chokeslam, but Taker turns it into a Fujiwara armbar of all things before the future Giant Bernard interferes. Somehow he end up in a cross armbreaker as a young Del Rio takes notes.
Big Show lock sin an abdominal stretch which A-Train repeats. Taker then locks in his own abdominal stretch as I fall asleep a little. Cole, in his infinite stupidity calls a back suplex a gutwrench for some reason. Tazz corrects him straight way though. After some basic heel stuff from A-Train, Taker fights back and essentially Hulks Up. Show interferes again as I'm noticing a pattern here. Taker tries for a Chokeslam on Show, but settles for a boot on A-Train instead.
Train gets some vintage Taker but Show jumps him yet again and hits a Chokeslam. Before he can capitalise though, Nathan Jones (to a surprisingly good pop) comes out and hits a spin kick on Show. So apparently this is No DQ now, which would semi-explain why Show kept interfering without a problem from the ref. Train gets 2 on Taker (from the Chokeslam) as Jones enters the ring and Train takes a boot to the face. That sets him up for the Tombstone (a rarity at this point in Taker's career) and Undertaker is 11-0.
Rating: 5/10
Fairly basic Undertaker Mania match for this time as he fought two monsters. It was predictable and fairly dull, but not necessarily terrible. I didn't really enjoy it, but I can see someone else doing so.
Cole claims that Undertaker & Jones could be a force to be reckoned with. Jones would be gone in about three weeks and Taker was the Deadman once more by this time next year.
Miller Light Girls bump into Stacy Keibler (hot) and Torrie Wilson (just in Playboy). They mention Testicles (Stacy's marketing campaign for Test). Stacey says she has another idea she wants them to hear. This would turn out to be Scott Steiner, fresh off his awful feud with Triple H, becoming Test's partner.
We throw back to JR and King. They bring up the Iraq War. JR tells them to get it over quickly...didn’t really work out that well did it Jim? They talk about Heat’s main event which saw Lance Storm & Chief Morley (Val Venis) successfully defending the World Tag Team Championships against Kane & RVD.
Women’s Championship: Victoria (C) vs. Trish Stratus vs. Jazz
Trish’s still improving at this time, but is pretty good nonetheless. Jazz is compared to Mike Tyson, which sums her up pretty well as she was pretty much power and not fairly ugly. Victoria has Stevie Richards with her. She’s still a complete nutjob here. Jazz jumps Victoria early and I question what the obsession with jumping people is here. Jazz dominates the first minute or so, but Trish gets a Thesz Press (better than Orton’s). She prepares to go up top but Victoria smashes her off the apron to a collective “Oh” from the crowd.
So far Trish is basically just a punching bag with tits for Jazz and Victoria. They get a modified lifting shoulder-breaker which Jazz almost botches to the surprise of nobody. Jazz and Victoria trade basic power stuff as Trish uses a whole bunch of roll-ups, including one with a sweet bridge as Jazz regains control with a nasty looking Oklahoma slam. Victoria ends up being booted to the outside as Jazz locks in a half crab on Trish which eventually becomes an STF. The ref gets distracted by Victoria though as Stevie Richards gets involved and sends Jazz to the outside.
That doesn’t last long though as Jazz returns to put Trish down with what would become known as a Glam Slam. Victoria goes for a freaking moonsault of all things (which I don’t recall her ever doing before or after this), but fails to deliver. The Psycho tosses Jazz out and has the referee occupied as Stevie Richards tries to hit Trish with a chair, but gets some Statusfaction after hitting himself. The distraction is enough for Victoria to get Trish in position for her finisher, but the blonde counters for the Chick Kick and the title.
Rating: 7/10
An impressive outing for these three and a whole lot better than the three-way from the previous year. Victoria had been champion since November coming into this and had nothing left to do with the title so it was obvious she was dropping it and Trish was the obvious choice. Unfortunately, Jazz would gain the belt the following month at Backlash and would bore everyone to tears.
We throw to Coach who is with The Rock. He’s facing Austin in their last match together tonight. This is Hollywood Rock so it’s fairly awesome. This promo is one of my favourites for Rocky so I’ll not bastardise it and just let you watch it;
[YOUTUBE]XDO9l506-B8[/YOUTUBE]
It’s a great promo showcasing both a serious side of Rock as well as his trademark humour.
WWE Tag Team Championships: Team Angle (C) vs. Los Guerrero’s vs. Chris Benoit & Rhyno
To say the pop for Benoit is huge would be an understatement, but he wouldn’t be champion for another year because..? Probably something to do with Triple H or something equally as bogus. Apparently Benoit was with Cole & Tazz last year as he was injured still. He was in tears. So would I if I had to share WrestleMania with those two. Rhyno’s here because he’s Benoit’s buddy and essentially took Edge’s spot here because of his broken neck. Team Angle is Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin and are obviously pretty damn awesome. They’ve only been around since December of but already have the titles. Big brawl to kick us off before we end up with Haas and Chavo starting.
Anyone can tag anybody else as Haas does to let Benoit in. Chavo tags out to allow Eddie in and we get Benoit vs. Guerrero at Mania. Can you say epic? They pick the pace WAY up and they work pretty stiff. Benoit and Eddie clunk heads as I grimace. Rhyno comes in with basic power stuff. Eddie tags in Shelton who is far quicker than Rhyno. Basic heel tag wrestling from Team Angle to dominate Rhyno. Benoit comes in and takes the advantage before tagging Rhyno back in. You’ll notice that I’m just sort of telling the match as it is as it’s all pretty good stuff and can’t really complain about it at all.
Shelton tags in Eddie who goes for a test of strength with Rhyno, but uses it to sucker him into a dropkick. That was sweet. Benoit tags in as a small Eddie chant picks up. Eddie starts yelling in Spanish as Tazz does the same for no reason. Frogsplash is countered into a superplex for two. Eddie ends up in the Crossface but it gets broken up by Haas. Benoit takes a brainbuster (how little we knew then) as Haas breaks up the pin again. Tazz wants to know how to pronounce Jimmy Korderas’ name as things break down. Chavo takes a series of Germans, but makes the tag to Shelton in the midst of them. The future IC Champ takes Benoit out with a superkick for 2.
Eddie gets involved and he and Benoit bash skulls again. Is it any wonder Benoit’s brain was as messed up as it was? A cover from Shelton is broken up with the Frogsplash. Chavo tags himself in to face Benjamin, but things break down again as Haas takes a Gore from Rhyno. Chavo gets one too, but Eddie manages to pull out Rhyno as Shelton makes a cover to retain the gold.
Rating: 8/10
Really great back and forth wrestling from all involved, including Rhyno, who played his role as the designated big man perfectly. It’s absolutely no surprise that Eddie and Benoit were the two to break into the main event scene this time the following year. They had the popularity and the skills to do it all. Very nice match, and highly recommended.
More Miller Light Girls! More standard 2003 female stuff as Torrie and Stacy get into an argument about whether it was Hogan or Vince that made Mania. Sable would show up soon enough to go lesbian on Torrie’s ass. The two Miller Light girls get into the same argument which leads to...a catfight later...in bed.
King tells JR he may have to finish the broadcast by himself. Ross tells him it’s time to get back to the wrestling as we turn our attention to Jericho/Michaels and this awesome video-package;
[YOUTUBE]mJ-svYK87mI[/YOUTUBE]
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
In his second book, Jericho sums the backstory for this up as one stolen from a generic karate movie. The old master is challenged by his cocky, younger student. That’s about right, although I doubt that would have the young student going apeshit on a woman with a steel chair. Sweet storyline nonetheless. This is during Jericho’s goatee years, although he’s shaved is down a bit here. Lawler brings up that this is being filmed for WrestleMania the Movie (which later became The Mania of WrestleMania which is a tremendous documentary about this WrestleMania). HBK still has an atrocious haircut here.
Basic wrestling to star with headlocks, takedowns, hammerlocks and leg scissors. Michaels takes a breather and plays mind games. Jericho gets whipped off the ropes and in return, slaps Michaels. Jericho gets tossed out of the ring as he ducks what he believes is a crossbody and taunts the fans as he eats a baseball slide once he turns around. Pace picks up as Jericho gets the advantage but that ends when his crotch is rammed into the steel post.
Shawn’s shoulder gets the same treatment after he goes for a Figure Four. Michaels skins the cat and takes Jericho to the outside. Michaels goes for a dropkick but gets put in the Walls of Jericho. Jericho gets in Charles Robinson’s face as he stops the countout at eight. King questions Michaels using the dropkick on the outside. He’s so much better here than now it’s unbelievable. The Canadian starts to work on the back with various suplexes, backbreakers and even the cocky pin. He follows up with a chinlock with his knee to the back of Michaels. Jericho of course tells the ref to “ask him!” Michaels fights out and gets an elevated DDT from Shawn though. Great back and forth action thus far as you would expect.
JR points out that despite the fact it isn’t for a championship, it’s a match neither wants to lose with so much pride at stake. *Insert Comment Praising Jim Ross Here*. Jericho does the whole forearm, nip-up, trademark pose routine Michaels has done for years as HBK nips-up behind him. Michaels begins his closing sequence (that’s fist, fist, forearm, nip-up, atomic drop, whip, backbody drop, flying elbow, tune up the band, Sweet Chin Music for those of you who don’t know) but tastes Jericho’s boot. Moonsault from Michaels gets two as do a variety of roll-ups. The Walls get countered, but Jericho delivers a Northern Lights Suplex on HBK for a two count. Both go for backslides, but it’s a stalemate. Jericho uses the bulldog/Lionsault combo and gets two.
Hurricanrana attempt from Michaels is countered into the Walls. Shawn fights to the ropes and gets a roll-up for two. Back work gets Jericho back on top and he follows up with a sweet spinning elbow. To complete the Jericho parody of Michaels he tunes up the band (complete with the Jericho Shuffle) for his own version of Sweet Chin Music but it only gets two. We get a Bernard Hopkins joke as Chris continues to work on the back. Michaels however uses a springboard crossbody (what Christian uses today) and attempts the Walls as payback for earlier. He settles for a catapult instead and gets two from a schoolboy.
Jericho attacks the back and goes for a back suplex only to be countered by Michaels into a crossbody (See: In Your House: Mind Games). Shawn goes for the elbow, but Jericho crotches him by using the referee. Jericho goes for a superplex, but he eats canvas as Michaels delivers the elbow on the second attempt. He feels it and looks to hit Sweet Chin Music, but Jericho gets him in the Walls for the third time in the match. After a struggle, HBK makes it to the ropes twice`. Jericho freaks and eats a superkick for his troubles. After a long delay, Jericho kicks out on two. Our antagonist goes for a back suplex of the former Rocker but gets rolled up for a three count.
Rating: 10/10
Outstanding back and forth contest and one of my favourite matches. Shawn gets the win in the end, but only through the fact that he’s more experienced and seasoned. These two would once again feud in their epic six month war in 2008.
Post match we get the infamous moment of Jericho suckering Shawn in with a hug before nailing him in the crotch. That pretty much sums up Jericho’s character at this time. A cocky bully who, when shown up, becomes a cry-baby.
Goldberg is coming...only to be gone the following year.
We see Sylvain Grenier going into Vince’s dressing room. He was a heel ref at the time and was in Vince’s pocket for Rock vs. Hogan II
Chimel announces the attendance and it’s a record. He then throws to Limp Bizkit and the theme. It’s got absolutely nothing on My Way from two years ago.
Coach is the host for the catfight and is in a Seattle Mariners shirt. I only know that as a big fan of Frasier. Anyway, Stacy & Torrie come out and it’s a match apparently as there’s an actual ref. Very obvious stuff happens and Coach gets stripped to his underwear...NEXT!
World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H (C) vs. Booker T
Yes, it’s that match. Triple H is in the middle of the reign of terror so the odds of Booker winning here were long anyway, and I even knew that as a kid. You have to bear in mind that he’s beating every talent associated with WCW (that includes Flair, his manager here, in the coming summer). Booker’s actual better spoken in the video package than he is on commentary today. There was also Tourette-Dust involved in this angle as Goldust got electrocuted by Orton & Batista (who ended up getting injured prior to this show). Oh, and Booker pinned Hunter in a tag match on RAW.
Basic entrances, but before the bell, we get the referee explaining that he won’t tolerate any antics from either man. Booker declares HHH’s “punk ass” is his. Alright then. Fist fight to start as JR and King talk about Booker’s past in WCW and on the streets (King is naturally in full pro-Evolution/HHH mode). Now they trade chops as HHH goes up top only to take an arm-drag from the top. Booker is all over him on the outside dominating him. Even basic stuff from HHH gets countered. I completely forgot Booker had this much control to start. HHH however turns the tide by sending Booker to the floor by bumping him off the turnbuckle.
JR and King now talk about how Bischoff awarded HHH the championship in September (completely ignoring HBK’s pointless one month reign in November/December) as Hunter uses the steps to his advantage. Back in the ring now and HHH hit a chop block as he starts work on the knee. Remember that for later. Let’s go Booker chant as he gets something going for...six seconds, eating a spinebuster for two. Back to the trading fists/chops as HHH gets dropped with a DDT.
King’s in full racist mode here too. Sidewalk slam for two for Booker. He goes for the Scissors Kick only to end up in the sleeper...briefly as Booker fights out. He eats a knee as HHH gets a two count. HHH executes a facebuster, but Booker gets a spinebuster. HHH goes up top and eats a kick to the face from Booker. The crowd pops big for it, but of course it only gets two, after all, no one but HHH could be champion on RAW in 2003. Booker goes for a Scissors Kick, but HHH drops the rope. As the ref is distracted by HHH, Flair drops Booker, knee first, onto the steel steps.
Booker gets back into the ring, but is put in an Indian death lock (think Figure Four with more pressure on the opponent’s knee) which he’s in for a loooooong time. Booker gets out, but the damage is done. Irish whip doesn’t amount to anything as Booker simply collapses. Booker’s selling that thing like there’s no tomorrow. JR sounds like he’s legitimately getting pissed at King and his bias. Booker gets a pair of roll-up’s, each for two. Scissors Kick and a long wait get two. Absolutely no one bought that as a potential finish.
Booker goes on top and sends Flair (who was on the apron) crashing down. After some more interference from Flair, Booker hits the Houston Hangover but it takes forever to get to a cover, by which point Flair has put HHH’s foot on the ropes. Booker goes for the Scissors Kick, but the knee gives. HHH hits the Pedigree and waits...and waits...and waits...and waits some more...and finally gets the cover and the win. It took literally 25 seconds to get that pin. Pretty damn ludicrous.
Rating: 7/10
It’s good, make no mistake about it, and Booker sold like a true champion, but what downgrades this is what it represents. A lot of people talk about Triple H burying talent; well this was the perfect example of that. Booker is obviously ready to be champion, does everything right in terms of the match, and the crowd is behind him, and yet Triple H can’t let him get the win and the championship because..? The real problem here is the finish though as it take Triple H forever to get the pin on the Pedigree, whereas Booker did the same thing earlier and Hunter kicked out. Terrible booking and ridiculous stuff from Triple H.
Time for my favourite video package of all time;
[YOUTUBE]uVBKOuDJ158[/YOUTUBE]
Street Fight: Vince McMahon vs. Hulk Hogan
So big they even brought Mean Gene into it to host the contract signing. Hogan comes out to Voodoo Child rather than Real American. I’d assume it was at Hogan’s request seeing as they would have to pay royalties for that. Oh and before I forget, should Hogan lose, he’ll retire. Tazz claims McMahonamania will be running wild after tonight. Vince is of course in shockingly good shape. Cole does his job properly and builds the match up very well. His voice is starting go actually. Vince looks nuts and the staredown is epic to say the least. Hogan takes the first shot and it’s on.
Hogan is beating the crap out of him here to begin with, stomping away. Vince manages to finally get some offence using the turnbuckle. Vince drives his shoulders into Hogan as Tazz talks about how Vince and Hogan did steroids toge--I mean trained together. Vince actually works on the elbow, putting on a hammerlock of all things. Hogan’s arm gets wrapped around the post as Vince of all people uses psychology. Hogan Hulks up for the first time in the match but Vince takes him down with a low shot. They do a test of strength which Hogan wins but Vince uses another low shot.
Hogan threatens to Hulk Up again, but Vince sends him tumbling out of the ring. Vince grabs a chair but misses and Hogan takes advantage. He smashes the chair off of Vince’s head. Naturally Vince is busted and his “Billion Dollar Blood” as Tazz calls it, flows. Hogan grabs another chair and nails Vince across the back a couple of times. His third shot nails Hugo, the Spanish announcer. Vince gets a low blow and follows up with his own chair shot. Vince gets a ladder, setting it up for something big. He drills Hogan with a monitor and sets him up on the Spanish announcer’s table. Vince then ascends the ladder, delivering a God damn leg drop from the top. “Holy Shit” chants ensue.
After some delay, both are back in the ring as Vince gets a pair of two’s. Vince is pissed and grabs a pipe. In the iconic moment of the match, Vince peers over the apron and looks like the personification of Satan himself. Hogan saves himself via low-blow. For some reason, Roddy freaking Piper gets in the ring. This was the first time he’d shown up on WWF/E TV in years. Piper debates over who to hit and chooses Hogan. I guess it makes sense as to why he showed up but damn it was weird. Vince gets a two off of it.
Brian Hebner, the referee, tries to get the pipe away out of compassion, but Vince (who botches it the first time he tries) throws Hebner out of the ring. Grenier, the referee from earlier, arrives just in time for Vince to get two off of a pipe shot and leg drop combo as Hogan Hulks Up. Hogan with the blood on his face doing all the trademark taunts and faces is awesome. The crowd are going nuts as Hogan takes the heel referee down. Vince tries to jump him to no avail and Hogan delivers a boot and delivers not one, but three leg drops to win.
Rating: 7/10
Pretty much what it was supposed to be. Hogan gets beat down, cheating occurs, Hogan Hulks Up, hits the boot and drops the leg. Executed very well considering who Hogan was in there with and it’s a damn sweet moment when the crowd popped for Hogan going nuts on Vince at the end. Not a classic or anything, but very cool none-the-less.
Afterwards Shane comes out to check on Vince, who flips Hogan the bird to continue the hilarious post match heel antics tonight.
”Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. The Rock
Oh yes. This is their third and final WrestleMania encounter. The story this time is that it isn’t for the title, but The Rock’s obsession with beating Austin at Mania. Pretty much everyone could tell that time was running out on Austin’s career, we just weren’t sure when, and that Rock was heading for Hollywood on a more permanent basis very shortly. Austin even helped The Hurricane get a win over The Rock on the way into this match. Yes, that Hurricane.
Rock has the sweet as hell “Is Cookin’” entrance here and is pure evil Hollywood heel. JR brings up how cool the Rock is as the fans are clearly somewhat burned out after Hogan/McMahon. The pop for Austin is there, but it’s not as huge as it could be. The long walk to ring from Austin is pretty amazing. It just makes it feel even more epic. Austin starts us off with some good old right hands, swearing and all, including flipping off Earl Hebner. Rock bails as Austin looks for a stunner. JR brings up King’s continued bitching beforehand about it being WrestleMania in a funny moment.
Because these two were big in the Attitude Era, we take things to the floor early with some brawling all over ringside. Big Austin chant picks up. Rock gets whipped hard into the steel steps. Austin throws Rock back into the ring and stomps a mudhole. Back suplex gets two for Austin. Rock manages to gain an advantage using a chop block. He repeats, only this time on the floor as we talk about Austin’s knee problems (King: I’m not sure how legal those knee braces are. They look like metal. JR: What the hell would you make a knee brace out; Cotton Candy?)
More brawling, only this time focusing on the knee as Rock knocks down the cameraman. Back inside the ring and the future Tooth Fairy continues his assault on the future Expendable. More work on the knees as Austin tries to fight off Rock, but fails in the end as Rock mocks the audience and applies the Sharpshooter. Austin gets to the ropes, but Rocky doesn’t miss a beat following up with an attack on the knee. Rock goes and puts on Austin’s jacket before covering himself in water.
Back in the ring and Austin begins to fight back as both men go down after a hard double clothesline. Both men are back up as Austin hits a Thesz Press and unloads on Rock before delivering his trademark elbow. The fans chant “What?” along with Austin’s stomps on Rock. That’s pretty cool. Rock fights back though with a clothesline and the fans are really into it now, booing the hell out of him. However, Austin gets a Rock Bottom out of nowhere for a two count. King claims the vest (which Rock still has on) is unlucky. He might be on to something there. Austin looks for a Stunner but Dwayne counters with one of his own. He gets two and throws a fit.
Rock drills Austin with several big shots, but Austin counters with the Stunner. Rock, naturally, oversells it like there’s no tomorrow. Even King laughed at that. Austin gets two and a low blow for his troubles (Hebner was shoved out the way by Rock). Rock goes for the People’s Elbow and fails hard. However, Austin’s Stunner attempt is countered into a spinebuster. He throws the jacket off and hits the elbow for two. Rock hits a Rock Bottom but only gets two as Rocky is stunned. He sets up for and delivers a second, but again only gets two. The third one finally gets three.
Rating: 9/10
Now some may say that’s a little high, but damn they told a great story out there. It’s probably not as violent as the second match they had, but it tells the best story of the three as Rock’s frustration continued to boil as Austin refused to go down without a fight. Great match.
JR praises them both to the high heavens as Rock does a bunch of posing before letting Austin have his moment as he takes the long walk back as the fans seem to accept that it’s probably over. Fabulous moment for Austin as well as the Rock.
WWE Championship: Kurt Angle (C) vs. Brock Lesnar
Backstory time. In November, Lesnar’s agent, Paul Heyman screwed him out of the WWE Championship. Angle promised Lesnar a title shot if he would help Angle beat Big Show for the title, which he did. However, it turned out that Heyman was actually Angle’s agent as well. Lesnar went nuts and won the Rumble. Angle did everything in his power to keep Lesnar down, including feeding Heyman to Lesnar and defending the belt against Lesnar a few weeks prior, executing a switcheroo his brother. Oh, and there’s the minor problem of Angle desperately needing neck surgery and the very real possibility that he could die should Brock execute anything incorrectly.
Angles’ dropped a bunch of weight for surgery, coming in at 230 which Cole says is due to intense training. Speaking of Cole, his voice is completely hoarse now. Tazz’s line of “Well, Here Comes the Pain” is still brilliant to this day. It’s sums up Lesnar so well. Brock has bandaged ribs following an assault from Angle on SmackDown. Cole runs down there statistics and accolades as they start with a feeling out process. The crowd is now really burnt following the last two matches.
They trade a few amateur holds...okay, make that a lot of amateur holds. There’s a small “Let’s Go Angle” chant in the background. The feeling out process continues as you can tell there’s a fair stretch of match to come. Angles strikes Lesnar’s injured ribs, but Brock’s power allows him to back Angle back into the corner and hit a powerslam for two. After a brief chase around the ring, Brock again uses power delivering a delayed Gorilla press slam. Again Angle goes back to the ribs as he throws Brock into the corner with a German suplex. That’s...ouch.
Angle hits a back suplex (Cole calls it wrong...yet again) for a two. He’s now stomping away on Brock before locking in a bow & arrow submission. Lesnar’s in trouble as Angle looks for the big man to pass out. Kurt modifies it into a chinlock and then into a Camel Clutch, but Brock uses his power to break the hold. Angle delivers a belly-to-belly suplex and a knee to Brock’s back, sending him to the outside...or not as Kurt throws him back in. Angle walks into a nasty looking spinebuster. Both men get to their feet and trade shots before Brock gains the advantage with a series of clotheslines. Brock follows up with pair of belly-to-belly’s.
Angle however manages to regain the advantage with a multitude of German suplexes. Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but get gets reversed into the F5, which in turn is countered into the Ankle Lock. Nice sequence. Brock goes to break it, but only ends up in a half crab. Brock manages to work his way to the ropes as Angle pursues Brock’s injured ribs. However, he gets a little too confident and Brock sends him up and over to the outside. Angle goes after Brock again and nails an incredible release German suplex where Lesnar actually flipped in mid-air.
Angle pulls the straps down and nails the Angle Slam for two. Angle is pissed and Cole claims it’s the first time someone’s kicked out of the Angle Slam which is bullshit of the highest order. Roll-up and F5 out of nowhere get Lesnar a pair of twos. Now Cole claims that no one has kicked out of the F5 before, which might be true. Angle manages to sneak his way into an Ankle Lock as the crowd has come alive. Brock gets to the ropes though and pushes Angle across the entire ring. Angle grabs his neck and may be in legit trouble, but seems to be okay and gets a small-package for two. Brock nails Angle in the midsection and then hits a second F5.
Now for the most famous part of the evening. Brock does not go for the cover off the F5 and instead goes to apron. He looks worried already and climbs to the top rope. He looks like he can barely keep his balance on top and says “fuck it” and decides to go for a Shooting Star Press. Now, Brock would do this move in OVW back when he was roughly 30 pounds lighter and would pull it off no problem, however it’s been a good year plus since Brock did it and he’s gained some weight. Combine that with the fact that there is enormous pressure on him and Angle’s about half way across the ring, and what do you think happens? That’s right, he crashes and burns.
Brock manages to just about nail the move, but doesn’t rotate completely and Angle is a little too far away from him. He lands on his face and just about kills himself. Kurt though, manages to keep a calm head and goes for the cover, getting a two count. He tells Brock outright to just hit him with the F5. Lesnar looks totally out of it as he follows Angle’s orders and becomes champion for a second time.
Rating: 9/10
Considering that Kurt was pretty much one wrong move away from dying and that Brock nearly killed himself with the finish, this is a miracle of a match. They would have better ones coming, but this was a great encounter none-the-less. Very good technical wrestling, combined with the circumstances and you have a great Mania main event.
Kurt hugs Brock post match and accidently turns face as he has to do something as Brock is dazed, confused and basically should be dead. Fireworks go off as Cole promises to see us at Madison Square Garden next year.
Overall Rating: 10/10
I personally believe this is the best WrestleMania of all time. The order is totally wrong, but it’s got everything. Action, drama...okay there’s a distinct lack of romance, but there are some hot women on it. One of the biggest stars ever retires, Brock nearly kills himself...and Angle, plus Jericho vs. Michaels is a classic. Oh and you have controversy with Triple H “burying” Booker plus Vince fighting Hogan is fairly epic. What’s not to love here?
Date: March 30th 2003
Venue: Safeco Field, Seattle Washington
Attendance: 54,097 (Record)
Theme: Crack Addict - Limp Bizkit
[YOUTUBE]IuQlUzBlvVc[/YOUTUBE]
Okay, so some background before we head into the show. First off, there are five big matches on this card, two for the titles and three being big grudge matches. Naturally they'll be sprinkled throughout to give the crowd a break right? Uh, no actually, they're all on last. To give you some idea of where we are in terms of history, we're in the midst of Triple H's war on WCW as he's taking on Booker T tonight and SmackDown is just kicking RAW's ass in terms of quality with fantastic wrestlers in Benoit, Guerrero('s), Mysterio, Team Angle (Haas & Benjamin) as well as both of tonight's main event opponents in Lesnar & Angle. On with the show.
We go straight into the opening video package which is incredibly basic, but pretty good. Obvious stuff is said about how it's "The Showcase of the Immortals", "Grandest Stage of All" "World Series Match" etc... plus there is extra serious music playing just so you know they mean it. The stage looks pretty damn cool and the ramp is LONG. JR welcomes us (John Wayne cufflinks and all). JR brings up that it's his 10th Mania and Lawler assures us it'll be huge. Cole and Tazz say hello also and are excited. This is Tazz's first Mania as a commentator as we start our first match.
Cruiserweight Championship: Matt Hardy (C) vs. Rey Mysterio
This is Rey's first Mania appearance and Matt's first as a singles star. No real story other than Matt's in the middle of his Mattitude gimmick, which was sweet, and dropped a fair bit of weight to become the Cruiserweight Champion. Amazing to think that Rey would be a multi-time world champion while Matt's just been released by TNA and is in the hospital as I write this. Our Matt facts for the day are that this is Matt's 4th Mania and he wonders how they did it without him. Rey does a corkscrew plancha immediately and it's obvious that this is before his knees were totally messed up.
We're no more than 30 seconds into this and Shannon Moore (Hardy's Mattitude Follower (MFer)) has interfered twice. Apparently Matt's now off the banana juice which he used to get his weight down. Tazz would talk about that forever in a day on SmackDown in 2003. All Matt so far. He gets two off the Side-Effect. The fans get behind Rey as he delivers a couple of springboard crossbody's. Pretty solid stuff so far as Rey manages to maintain his control.
Rey goes for the 619 (still a stupid move today) but gets tripped by Moore (again) and Mysterio takes the Twist of Fate. Cole even says it's over, but Rey kicks out on 2 to Matt's surprise. Matt goes for a Splash Mountain Bomb (Razor's Edge into a sit-out powerbomb), but Rey counters with a hurricanrana. Moore interferes once more and puts Hardy's foot on the ropes. Matt counters a springboard roll-up into his own roll-up and, with the help of the ropes, gets a three count to retain. Cole credits Moore with a major helping hand, and he's right...for a change.
Rating:6/10
6/10 is about average, so this is just about that. It's a fairly good back-and-forth action with Matt having to resort to cheating to help him gain the win and avoid the 619. Matt would remain champion until June where, in San Diego, Mysterio would finally win the belt.
We throw to backstage where a limo pulls in (Cole: What's this? Tazz: It's a limo!) to reveal the Miller Light Catfight Girls...yeah I don't care either. More on them later.
We then show Nathan Jones getting taken out by Big Show, A-Train and Nunzio on Heat before the show, meaning that Undertaker has to face Show and the former Albert all by himself.
Tony Chimel then introduces Limp Bizkit as, and I quote, “The WWE’s Favourite Band in the World”. They play “Rollin’” as Taker, American Flag and all, comes out.
The Undertaker vs. The Big Show & A-Train
Basically, Taker was injured by Show back in October only to come back at the Rumble. He said his new philosophy was to "Just Shut Up & Fight" which led to Show sending Taker a bunch of apologies through the likes of Kanyon (singing Culture Club) and Brian Kendrick (dressed as a bell-hop) as well as a bunch of crates. Eventually they had a match at No Way Out which Taker won with a Triangle Choke. A-Train, Show's buddy, got involved so Taker brought in a protégé in Nathan Jones. The only problem was Jones was, as Bill DeMott would say, greener than goose-shit. So Vince pulled him and made it a handicap match. That was more complicated than I realised.
Cole suggests Taker's streak is at jeopardy...yeah, I severely doubt that. Taker beats both guys up to start, even hitting the Chokeslam for two as Show pulls Taker off. Taker is dominating here. Cole informs us that Taker's nephew is in Iraq while Tazz speculates that Taker could kick Iraqi backside. Show causes a distraction for A-Train who hits Taker with a Chokebomb. Show beats Taker down on the outside for two. He goes for a Chokeslam, but Taker turns it into a Fujiwara armbar of all things before the future Giant Bernard interferes. Somehow he end up in a cross armbreaker as a young Del Rio takes notes.
Big Show lock sin an abdominal stretch which A-Train repeats. Taker then locks in his own abdominal stretch as I fall asleep a little. Cole, in his infinite stupidity calls a back suplex a gutwrench for some reason. Tazz corrects him straight way though. After some basic heel stuff from A-Train, Taker fights back and essentially Hulks Up. Show interferes again as I'm noticing a pattern here. Taker tries for a Chokeslam on Show, but settles for a boot on A-Train instead.
Train gets some vintage Taker but Show jumps him yet again and hits a Chokeslam. Before he can capitalise though, Nathan Jones (to a surprisingly good pop) comes out and hits a spin kick on Show. So apparently this is No DQ now, which would semi-explain why Show kept interfering without a problem from the ref. Train gets 2 on Taker (from the Chokeslam) as Jones enters the ring and Train takes a boot to the face. That sets him up for the Tombstone (a rarity at this point in Taker's career) and Undertaker is 11-0.
Rating: 5/10
Fairly basic Undertaker Mania match for this time as he fought two monsters. It was predictable and fairly dull, but not necessarily terrible. I didn't really enjoy it, but I can see someone else doing so.
Cole claims that Undertaker & Jones could be a force to be reckoned with. Jones would be gone in about three weeks and Taker was the Deadman once more by this time next year.
Miller Light Girls bump into Stacy Keibler (hot) and Torrie Wilson (just in Playboy). They mention Testicles (Stacy's marketing campaign for Test). Stacey says she has another idea she wants them to hear. This would turn out to be Scott Steiner, fresh off his awful feud with Triple H, becoming Test's partner.
We throw back to JR and King. They bring up the Iraq War. JR tells them to get it over quickly...didn’t really work out that well did it Jim? They talk about Heat’s main event which saw Lance Storm & Chief Morley (Val Venis) successfully defending the World Tag Team Championships against Kane & RVD.
Women’s Championship: Victoria (C) vs. Trish Stratus vs. Jazz
Trish’s still improving at this time, but is pretty good nonetheless. Jazz is compared to Mike Tyson, which sums her up pretty well as she was pretty much power and not fairly ugly. Victoria has Stevie Richards with her. She’s still a complete nutjob here. Jazz jumps Victoria early and I question what the obsession with jumping people is here. Jazz dominates the first minute or so, but Trish gets a Thesz Press (better than Orton’s). She prepares to go up top but Victoria smashes her off the apron to a collective “Oh” from the crowd.
So far Trish is basically just a punching bag with tits for Jazz and Victoria. They get a modified lifting shoulder-breaker which Jazz almost botches to the surprise of nobody. Jazz and Victoria trade basic power stuff as Trish uses a whole bunch of roll-ups, including one with a sweet bridge as Jazz regains control with a nasty looking Oklahoma slam. Victoria ends up being booted to the outside as Jazz locks in a half crab on Trish which eventually becomes an STF. The ref gets distracted by Victoria though as Stevie Richards gets involved and sends Jazz to the outside.
That doesn’t last long though as Jazz returns to put Trish down with what would become known as a Glam Slam. Victoria goes for a freaking moonsault of all things (which I don’t recall her ever doing before or after this), but fails to deliver. The Psycho tosses Jazz out and has the referee occupied as Stevie Richards tries to hit Trish with a chair, but gets some Statusfaction after hitting himself. The distraction is enough for Victoria to get Trish in position for her finisher, but the blonde counters for the Chick Kick and the title.
Rating: 7/10
An impressive outing for these three and a whole lot better than the three-way from the previous year. Victoria had been champion since November coming into this and had nothing left to do with the title so it was obvious she was dropping it and Trish was the obvious choice. Unfortunately, Jazz would gain the belt the following month at Backlash and would bore everyone to tears.
We throw to Coach who is with The Rock. He’s facing Austin in their last match together tonight. This is Hollywood Rock so it’s fairly awesome. This promo is one of my favourites for Rocky so I’ll not bastardise it and just let you watch it;
[YOUTUBE]XDO9l506-B8[/YOUTUBE]
It’s a great promo showcasing both a serious side of Rock as well as his trademark humour.
WWE Tag Team Championships: Team Angle (C) vs. Los Guerrero’s vs. Chris Benoit & Rhyno
To say the pop for Benoit is huge would be an understatement, but he wouldn’t be champion for another year because..? Probably something to do with Triple H or something equally as bogus. Apparently Benoit was with Cole & Tazz last year as he was injured still. He was in tears. So would I if I had to share WrestleMania with those two. Rhyno’s here because he’s Benoit’s buddy and essentially took Edge’s spot here because of his broken neck. Team Angle is Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin and are obviously pretty damn awesome. They’ve only been around since December of but already have the titles. Big brawl to kick us off before we end up with Haas and Chavo starting.
Anyone can tag anybody else as Haas does to let Benoit in. Chavo tags out to allow Eddie in and we get Benoit vs. Guerrero at Mania. Can you say epic? They pick the pace WAY up and they work pretty stiff. Benoit and Eddie clunk heads as I grimace. Rhyno comes in with basic power stuff. Eddie tags in Shelton who is far quicker than Rhyno. Basic heel tag wrestling from Team Angle to dominate Rhyno. Benoit comes in and takes the advantage before tagging Rhyno back in. You’ll notice that I’m just sort of telling the match as it is as it’s all pretty good stuff and can’t really complain about it at all.
Shelton tags in Eddie who goes for a test of strength with Rhyno, but uses it to sucker him into a dropkick. That was sweet. Benoit tags in as a small Eddie chant picks up. Eddie starts yelling in Spanish as Tazz does the same for no reason. Frogsplash is countered into a superplex for two. Eddie ends up in the Crossface but it gets broken up by Haas. Benoit takes a brainbuster (how little we knew then) as Haas breaks up the pin again. Tazz wants to know how to pronounce Jimmy Korderas’ name as things break down. Chavo takes a series of Germans, but makes the tag to Shelton in the midst of them. The future IC Champ takes Benoit out with a superkick for 2.
Eddie gets involved and he and Benoit bash skulls again. Is it any wonder Benoit’s brain was as messed up as it was? A cover from Shelton is broken up with the Frogsplash. Chavo tags himself in to face Benjamin, but things break down again as Haas takes a Gore from Rhyno. Chavo gets one too, but Eddie manages to pull out Rhyno as Shelton makes a cover to retain the gold.
Rating: 8/10
Really great back and forth wrestling from all involved, including Rhyno, who played his role as the designated big man perfectly. It’s absolutely no surprise that Eddie and Benoit were the two to break into the main event scene this time the following year. They had the popularity and the skills to do it all. Very nice match, and highly recommended.
More Miller Light Girls! More standard 2003 female stuff as Torrie and Stacy get into an argument about whether it was Hogan or Vince that made Mania. Sable would show up soon enough to go lesbian on Torrie’s ass. The two Miller Light girls get into the same argument which leads to...a catfight later...in bed.
King tells JR he may have to finish the broadcast by himself. Ross tells him it’s time to get back to the wrestling as we turn our attention to Jericho/Michaels and this awesome video-package;
[YOUTUBE]mJ-svYK87mI[/YOUTUBE]
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho
In his second book, Jericho sums the backstory for this up as one stolen from a generic karate movie. The old master is challenged by his cocky, younger student. That’s about right, although I doubt that would have the young student going apeshit on a woman with a steel chair. Sweet storyline nonetheless. This is during Jericho’s goatee years, although he’s shaved is down a bit here. Lawler brings up that this is being filmed for WrestleMania the Movie (which later became The Mania of WrestleMania which is a tremendous documentary about this WrestleMania). HBK still has an atrocious haircut here.
Basic wrestling to star with headlocks, takedowns, hammerlocks and leg scissors. Michaels takes a breather and plays mind games. Jericho gets whipped off the ropes and in return, slaps Michaels. Jericho gets tossed out of the ring as he ducks what he believes is a crossbody and taunts the fans as he eats a baseball slide once he turns around. Pace picks up as Jericho gets the advantage but that ends when his crotch is rammed into the steel post.
Shawn’s shoulder gets the same treatment after he goes for a Figure Four. Michaels skins the cat and takes Jericho to the outside. Michaels goes for a dropkick but gets put in the Walls of Jericho. Jericho gets in Charles Robinson’s face as he stops the countout at eight. King questions Michaels using the dropkick on the outside. He’s so much better here than now it’s unbelievable. The Canadian starts to work on the back with various suplexes, backbreakers and even the cocky pin. He follows up with a chinlock with his knee to the back of Michaels. Jericho of course tells the ref to “ask him!” Michaels fights out and gets an elevated DDT from Shawn though. Great back and forth action thus far as you would expect.
JR points out that despite the fact it isn’t for a championship, it’s a match neither wants to lose with so much pride at stake. *Insert Comment Praising Jim Ross Here*. Jericho does the whole forearm, nip-up, trademark pose routine Michaels has done for years as HBK nips-up behind him. Michaels begins his closing sequence (that’s fist, fist, forearm, nip-up, atomic drop, whip, backbody drop, flying elbow, tune up the band, Sweet Chin Music for those of you who don’t know) but tastes Jericho’s boot. Moonsault from Michaels gets two as do a variety of roll-ups. The Walls get countered, but Jericho delivers a Northern Lights Suplex on HBK for a two count. Both go for backslides, but it’s a stalemate. Jericho uses the bulldog/Lionsault combo and gets two.
Hurricanrana attempt from Michaels is countered into the Walls. Shawn fights to the ropes and gets a roll-up for two. Back work gets Jericho back on top and he follows up with a sweet spinning elbow. To complete the Jericho parody of Michaels he tunes up the band (complete with the Jericho Shuffle) for his own version of Sweet Chin Music but it only gets two. We get a Bernard Hopkins joke as Chris continues to work on the back. Michaels however uses a springboard crossbody (what Christian uses today) and attempts the Walls as payback for earlier. He settles for a catapult instead and gets two from a schoolboy.
Jericho attacks the back and goes for a back suplex only to be countered by Michaels into a crossbody (See: In Your House: Mind Games). Shawn goes for the elbow, but Jericho crotches him by using the referee. Jericho goes for a superplex, but he eats canvas as Michaels delivers the elbow on the second attempt. He feels it and looks to hit Sweet Chin Music, but Jericho gets him in the Walls for the third time in the match. After a struggle, HBK makes it to the ropes twice`. Jericho freaks and eats a superkick for his troubles. After a long delay, Jericho kicks out on two. Our antagonist goes for a back suplex of the former Rocker but gets rolled up for a three count.
Rating: 10/10
Outstanding back and forth contest and one of my favourite matches. Shawn gets the win in the end, but only through the fact that he’s more experienced and seasoned. These two would once again feud in their epic six month war in 2008.
Post match we get the infamous moment of Jericho suckering Shawn in with a hug before nailing him in the crotch. That pretty much sums up Jericho’s character at this time. A cocky bully who, when shown up, becomes a cry-baby.
Goldberg is coming...only to be gone the following year.
We see Sylvain Grenier going into Vince’s dressing room. He was a heel ref at the time and was in Vince’s pocket for Rock vs. Hogan II
Chimel announces the attendance and it’s a record. He then throws to Limp Bizkit and the theme. It’s got absolutely nothing on My Way from two years ago.
Coach is the host for the catfight and is in a Seattle Mariners shirt. I only know that as a big fan of Frasier. Anyway, Stacy & Torrie come out and it’s a match apparently as there’s an actual ref. Very obvious stuff happens and Coach gets stripped to his underwear...NEXT!
World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H (C) vs. Booker T
Yes, it’s that match. Triple H is in the middle of the reign of terror so the odds of Booker winning here were long anyway, and I even knew that as a kid. You have to bear in mind that he’s beating every talent associated with WCW (that includes Flair, his manager here, in the coming summer). Booker’s actual better spoken in the video package than he is on commentary today. There was also Tourette-Dust involved in this angle as Goldust got electrocuted by Orton & Batista (who ended up getting injured prior to this show). Oh, and Booker pinned Hunter in a tag match on RAW.
Basic entrances, but before the bell, we get the referee explaining that he won’t tolerate any antics from either man. Booker declares HHH’s “punk ass” is his. Alright then. Fist fight to start as JR and King talk about Booker’s past in WCW and on the streets (King is naturally in full pro-Evolution/HHH mode). Now they trade chops as HHH goes up top only to take an arm-drag from the top. Booker is all over him on the outside dominating him. Even basic stuff from HHH gets countered. I completely forgot Booker had this much control to start. HHH however turns the tide by sending Booker to the floor by bumping him off the turnbuckle.
JR and King now talk about how Bischoff awarded HHH the championship in September (completely ignoring HBK’s pointless one month reign in November/December) as Hunter uses the steps to his advantage. Back in the ring now and HHH hit a chop block as he starts work on the knee. Remember that for later. Let’s go Booker chant as he gets something going for...six seconds, eating a spinebuster for two. Back to the trading fists/chops as HHH gets dropped with a DDT.
King’s in full racist mode here too. Sidewalk slam for two for Booker. He goes for the Scissors Kick only to end up in the sleeper...briefly as Booker fights out. He eats a knee as HHH gets a two count. HHH executes a facebuster, but Booker gets a spinebuster. HHH goes up top and eats a kick to the face from Booker. The crowd pops big for it, but of course it only gets two, after all, no one but HHH could be champion on RAW in 2003. Booker goes for a Scissors Kick, but HHH drops the rope. As the ref is distracted by HHH, Flair drops Booker, knee first, onto the steel steps.
Booker gets back into the ring, but is put in an Indian death lock (think Figure Four with more pressure on the opponent’s knee) which he’s in for a loooooong time. Booker gets out, but the damage is done. Irish whip doesn’t amount to anything as Booker simply collapses. Booker’s selling that thing like there’s no tomorrow. JR sounds like he’s legitimately getting pissed at King and his bias. Booker gets a pair of roll-up’s, each for two. Scissors Kick and a long wait get two. Absolutely no one bought that as a potential finish.
Booker goes on top and sends Flair (who was on the apron) crashing down. After some more interference from Flair, Booker hits the Houston Hangover but it takes forever to get to a cover, by which point Flair has put HHH’s foot on the ropes. Booker goes for the Scissors Kick, but the knee gives. HHH hits the Pedigree and waits...and waits...and waits...and waits some more...and finally gets the cover and the win. It took literally 25 seconds to get that pin. Pretty damn ludicrous.
Rating: 7/10
It’s good, make no mistake about it, and Booker sold like a true champion, but what downgrades this is what it represents. A lot of people talk about Triple H burying talent; well this was the perfect example of that. Booker is obviously ready to be champion, does everything right in terms of the match, and the crowd is behind him, and yet Triple H can’t let him get the win and the championship because..? The real problem here is the finish though as it take Triple H forever to get the pin on the Pedigree, whereas Booker did the same thing earlier and Hunter kicked out. Terrible booking and ridiculous stuff from Triple H.
Time for my favourite video package of all time;
[YOUTUBE]uVBKOuDJ158[/YOUTUBE]
Street Fight: Vince McMahon vs. Hulk Hogan
So big they even brought Mean Gene into it to host the contract signing. Hogan comes out to Voodoo Child rather than Real American. I’d assume it was at Hogan’s request seeing as they would have to pay royalties for that. Oh and before I forget, should Hogan lose, he’ll retire. Tazz claims McMahonamania will be running wild after tonight. Vince is of course in shockingly good shape. Cole does his job properly and builds the match up very well. His voice is starting go actually. Vince looks nuts and the staredown is epic to say the least. Hogan takes the first shot and it’s on.
Hogan is beating the crap out of him here to begin with, stomping away. Vince manages to finally get some offence using the turnbuckle. Vince drives his shoulders into Hogan as Tazz talks about how Vince and Hogan did steroids toge--I mean trained together. Vince actually works on the elbow, putting on a hammerlock of all things. Hogan’s arm gets wrapped around the post as Vince of all people uses psychology. Hogan Hulks up for the first time in the match but Vince takes him down with a low shot. They do a test of strength which Hogan wins but Vince uses another low shot.
Hogan threatens to Hulk Up again, but Vince sends him tumbling out of the ring. Vince grabs a chair but misses and Hogan takes advantage. He smashes the chair off of Vince’s head. Naturally Vince is busted and his “Billion Dollar Blood” as Tazz calls it, flows. Hogan grabs another chair and nails Vince across the back a couple of times. His third shot nails Hugo, the Spanish announcer. Vince gets a low blow and follows up with his own chair shot. Vince gets a ladder, setting it up for something big. He drills Hogan with a monitor and sets him up on the Spanish announcer’s table. Vince then ascends the ladder, delivering a God damn leg drop from the top. “Holy Shit” chants ensue.
After some delay, both are back in the ring as Vince gets a pair of two’s. Vince is pissed and grabs a pipe. In the iconic moment of the match, Vince peers over the apron and looks like the personification of Satan himself. Hogan saves himself via low-blow. For some reason, Roddy freaking Piper gets in the ring. This was the first time he’d shown up on WWF/E TV in years. Piper debates over who to hit and chooses Hogan. I guess it makes sense as to why he showed up but damn it was weird. Vince gets a two off of it.
Brian Hebner, the referee, tries to get the pipe away out of compassion, but Vince (who botches it the first time he tries) throws Hebner out of the ring. Grenier, the referee from earlier, arrives just in time for Vince to get two off of a pipe shot and leg drop combo as Hogan Hulks Up. Hogan with the blood on his face doing all the trademark taunts and faces is awesome. The crowd are going nuts as Hogan takes the heel referee down. Vince tries to jump him to no avail and Hogan delivers a boot and delivers not one, but three leg drops to win.
Rating: 7/10
Pretty much what it was supposed to be. Hogan gets beat down, cheating occurs, Hogan Hulks Up, hits the boot and drops the leg. Executed very well considering who Hogan was in there with and it’s a damn sweet moment when the crowd popped for Hogan going nuts on Vince at the end. Not a classic or anything, but very cool none-the-less.
Afterwards Shane comes out to check on Vince, who flips Hogan the bird to continue the hilarious post match heel antics tonight.
”Stone Cold” Steve Austin vs. The Rock
Oh yes. This is their third and final WrestleMania encounter. The story this time is that it isn’t for the title, but The Rock’s obsession with beating Austin at Mania. Pretty much everyone could tell that time was running out on Austin’s career, we just weren’t sure when, and that Rock was heading for Hollywood on a more permanent basis very shortly. Austin even helped The Hurricane get a win over The Rock on the way into this match. Yes, that Hurricane.
Rock has the sweet as hell “Is Cookin’” entrance here and is pure evil Hollywood heel. JR brings up how cool the Rock is as the fans are clearly somewhat burned out after Hogan/McMahon. The pop for Austin is there, but it’s not as huge as it could be. The long walk to ring from Austin is pretty amazing. It just makes it feel even more epic. Austin starts us off with some good old right hands, swearing and all, including flipping off Earl Hebner. Rock bails as Austin looks for a stunner. JR brings up King’s continued bitching beforehand about it being WrestleMania in a funny moment.
Because these two were big in the Attitude Era, we take things to the floor early with some brawling all over ringside. Big Austin chant picks up. Rock gets whipped hard into the steel steps. Austin throws Rock back into the ring and stomps a mudhole. Back suplex gets two for Austin. Rock manages to gain an advantage using a chop block. He repeats, only this time on the floor as we talk about Austin’s knee problems (King: I’m not sure how legal those knee braces are. They look like metal. JR: What the hell would you make a knee brace out; Cotton Candy?)
More brawling, only this time focusing on the knee as Rock knocks down the cameraman. Back inside the ring and the future Tooth Fairy continues his assault on the future Expendable. More work on the knees as Austin tries to fight off Rock, but fails in the end as Rock mocks the audience and applies the Sharpshooter. Austin gets to the ropes, but Rocky doesn’t miss a beat following up with an attack on the knee. Rock goes and puts on Austin’s jacket before covering himself in water.
Back in the ring and Austin begins to fight back as both men go down after a hard double clothesline. Both men are back up as Austin hits a Thesz Press and unloads on Rock before delivering his trademark elbow. The fans chant “What?” along with Austin’s stomps on Rock. That’s pretty cool. Rock fights back though with a clothesline and the fans are really into it now, booing the hell out of him. However, Austin gets a Rock Bottom out of nowhere for a two count. King claims the vest (which Rock still has on) is unlucky. He might be on to something there. Austin looks for a Stunner but Dwayne counters with one of his own. He gets two and throws a fit.
Rock drills Austin with several big shots, but Austin counters with the Stunner. Rock, naturally, oversells it like there’s no tomorrow. Even King laughed at that. Austin gets two and a low blow for his troubles (Hebner was shoved out the way by Rock). Rock goes for the People’s Elbow and fails hard. However, Austin’s Stunner attempt is countered into a spinebuster. He throws the jacket off and hits the elbow for two. Rock hits a Rock Bottom but only gets two as Rocky is stunned. He sets up for and delivers a second, but again only gets two. The third one finally gets three.
Rating: 9/10
Now some may say that’s a little high, but damn they told a great story out there. It’s probably not as violent as the second match they had, but it tells the best story of the three as Rock’s frustration continued to boil as Austin refused to go down without a fight. Great match.
JR praises them both to the high heavens as Rock does a bunch of posing before letting Austin have his moment as he takes the long walk back as the fans seem to accept that it’s probably over. Fabulous moment for Austin as well as the Rock.
WWE Championship: Kurt Angle (C) vs. Brock Lesnar
Backstory time. In November, Lesnar’s agent, Paul Heyman screwed him out of the WWE Championship. Angle promised Lesnar a title shot if he would help Angle beat Big Show for the title, which he did. However, it turned out that Heyman was actually Angle’s agent as well. Lesnar went nuts and won the Rumble. Angle did everything in his power to keep Lesnar down, including feeding Heyman to Lesnar and defending the belt against Lesnar a few weeks prior, executing a switcheroo his brother. Oh, and there’s the minor problem of Angle desperately needing neck surgery and the very real possibility that he could die should Brock execute anything incorrectly.
Angles’ dropped a bunch of weight for surgery, coming in at 230 which Cole says is due to intense training. Speaking of Cole, his voice is completely hoarse now. Tazz’s line of “Well, Here Comes the Pain” is still brilliant to this day. It’s sums up Lesnar so well. Brock has bandaged ribs following an assault from Angle on SmackDown. Cole runs down there statistics and accolades as they start with a feeling out process. The crowd is now really burnt following the last two matches.
They trade a few amateur holds...okay, make that a lot of amateur holds. There’s a small “Let’s Go Angle” chant in the background. The feeling out process continues as you can tell there’s a fair stretch of match to come. Angles strikes Lesnar’s injured ribs, but Brock’s power allows him to back Angle back into the corner and hit a powerslam for two. After a brief chase around the ring, Brock again uses power delivering a delayed Gorilla press slam. Again Angle goes back to the ribs as he throws Brock into the corner with a German suplex. That’s...ouch.
Angle hits a back suplex (Cole calls it wrong...yet again) for a two. He’s now stomping away on Brock before locking in a bow & arrow submission. Lesnar’s in trouble as Angle looks for the big man to pass out. Kurt modifies it into a chinlock and then into a Camel Clutch, but Brock uses his power to break the hold. Angle delivers a belly-to-belly suplex and a knee to Brock’s back, sending him to the outside...or not as Kurt throws him back in. Angle walks into a nasty looking spinebuster. Both men get to their feet and trade shots before Brock gains the advantage with a series of clotheslines. Brock follows up with pair of belly-to-belly’s.
Angle however manages to regain the advantage with a multitude of German suplexes. Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but get gets reversed into the F5, which in turn is countered into the Ankle Lock. Nice sequence. Brock goes to break it, but only ends up in a half crab. Brock manages to work his way to the ropes as Angle pursues Brock’s injured ribs. However, he gets a little too confident and Brock sends him up and over to the outside. Angle goes after Brock again and nails an incredible release German suplex where Lesnar actually flipped in mid-air.
Angle pulls the straps down and nails the Angle Slam for two. Angle is pissed and Cole claims it’s the first time someone’s kicked out of the Angle Slam which is bullshit of the highest order. Roll-up and F5 out of nowhere get Lesnar a pair of twos. Now Cole claims that no one has kicked out of the F5 before, which might be true. Angle manages to sneak his way into an Ankle Lock as the crowd has come alive. Brock gets to the ropes though and pushes Angle across the entire ring. Angle grabs his neck and may be in legit trouble, but seems to be okay and gets a small-package for two. Brock nails Angle in the midsection and then hits a second F5.
Now for the most famous part of the evening. Brock does not go for the cover off the F5 and instead goes to apron. He looks worried already and climbs to the top rope. He looks like he can barely keep his balance on top and says “fuck it” and decides to go for a Shooting Star Press. Now, Brock would do this move in OVW back when he was roughly 30 pounds lighter and would pull it off no problem, however it’s been a good year plus since Brock did it and he’s gained some weight. Combine that with the fact that there is enormous pressure on him and Angle’s about half way across the ring, and what do you think happens? That’s right, he crashes and burns.
Brock manages to just about nail the move, but doesn’t rotate completely and Angle is a little too far away from him. He lands on his face and just about kills himself. Kurt though, manages to keep a calm head and goes for the cover, getting a two count. He tells Brock outright to just hit him with the F5. Lesnar looks totally out of it as he follows Angle’s orders and becomes champion for a second time.
Rating: 9/10
Considering that Kurt was pretty much one wrong move away from dying and that Brock nearly killed himself with the finish, this is a miracle of a match. They would have better ones coming, but this was a great encounter none-the-less. Very good technical wrestling, combined with the circumstances and you have a great Mania main event.
Kurt hugs Brock post match and accidently turns face as he has to do something as Brock is dazed, confused and basically should be dead. Fireworks go off as Cole promises to see us at Madison Square Garden next year.
Overall Rating: 10/10
I personally believe this is the best WrestleMania of all time. The order is totally wrong, but it’s got everything. Action, drama...okay there’s a distinct lack of romance, but there are some hot women on it. One of the biggest stars ever retires, Brock nearly kills himself...and Angle, plus Jericho vs. Michaels is a classic. Oh and you have controversy with Triple H “burying” Booker plus Vince fighting Hogan is fairly epic. What’s not to love here?
