Facts About Chuck Norris

[nightmare]

Just started printing T-Shirts\Hoodies again for my friends shop. Decided to make a few with some of my favorite facts about Chuck Norris. Some of these have always made me crack up & wanted to hear some of your favorites. The first 3 shirts im making are:



Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.


Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.


Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Jeep.



So what are some of your favorite lines?.... keep in mind Mr. Norris is probably watching you right now. He has better vision than Jesus, Santa Claus & eagles combined.

 

[ABMorales787]

Chuck Norris Invented Rap When His Heart Started Beating.

 

[Mr. Artistic guy]

I found out the other day he made an appearance in both WWF and WCW. I knew about the WWF one for a long time but only saw the other recently.

Umm anyway. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "BANG"

 

[nightmare]

I found out the other day he made an appearance in both WWF and WCW. I knew about the WWF one for a long time but only saw the other recently.

Just think, he could have saved WCW with a single roundhouse.... oh well....

 

[ABMorales787]

I personally prefer Tommy over Chuck Norris.

 

[Find'er Woo'er Ryder]

When Chuck Norris visited Japan a few guys there wanted to show the world small examples of his capabilities. . .and thus Dragonball Z was born.

I pray to God and God prays to Chuck Norris.

 

[nightmare]

I personally prefer Tommy over Chuck Norris.

Green Ranger reference? Nice.


Chuck Norris dosent need a Dragonzord.

He once pissed in the radiator of a semi-truck. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

 

[Find'er Woo'er Ryder]

Chuck Norris fucked my wife....now I don't fit in there no more....

A horse is hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

 

[Shocky]

Chuck Norris beat Madusa in a staring contest.

 

[Gelgarin]

Chuck Norris hasn't been funny since 2005?

No?

He's also a homophone who doesn't believe in evolution.

 

[ABMorales787]

Green Ranger reference? Nice.


Chuck Norris dosent need a Dragonzord.

He once pissed in the radiator of a semi-truck. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

 

[Xemmy]

Chuck Norris (creationist douchebag) got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee. That is my response to this thread.

 

[Daniel]

Chuck Norris was born on the 10th March 1940 in Ryan, Oklahoma.

 

[Big Nick Dudley]

Jack Bauer

says Chuck Norris is a pussy.

 

[Mr. Artistic guy]

He's also a homophone who doesn't believe in evolution.

A what now? So he's "....a word that is pronounced the same as another word but differs in meaning."

OK that was just uncalled for.

 

[Fizzy]

Chuck Norris (creationist douchebag) got his ass kicked by Bruce Lee. That is my response to this thread.

Fucker beat me to it.

 

[Lee]

Wow Xemnas has a go at religion yet again.



Chuck Norris' real name is Carlos.

He's 71 years old.

He was born in Ryan, Oklahoma.

 

[CH David]

I always found Chuck Norris jokes funny.

 

[ABMorales787]

I prefer the 10 Commandments of the Church Of Oliver:


I. Thou shalt sacrifice the Zords at the end of a season, especially if Disney requires it.

II. Thou shalt not worship any other god but me...unless, you know, you do.

III. Thou shalt call me "Jeebus", since your Savior does not wish to deal with copyright infringement issues.

IV. Thou shalt donate to the Oliverist fund, as he is in great need of money.

V. Thou shalt sleep with anyone wearing pink.

VI. Thou shalt not mentioned the forbidden season.

VII. There is no Commandment VII.

VIII. Thou shalt obey my will, even if my will includes creating Monsters of the Day for no apparent reason.

IX. See Commandment V.

X. Have you ever thought that it would be cool to combine all my Zords into one MegaTommyZord?

 

[nightmare]

We all know Bruce Lee beat Norris, i get it. I just find the jokes funny & honestly dont care he wasnt the greatest martial artist. In fact i can think of a few guys he couldnt beat.

Bruce Lee
Tony Jaa
The Mighty Nor-Cal
GSP
Charlie Sheen


Ok, maybe that last one was a joke.... but id pay to watch that fight.

Also respect to Killjoy for keeping the Green Rangers' memory alive. May all the young ones learn something from his legacy.

 

[Shocky]

The guy believes in religion and you shit on him. That's more of a you problem.

 

[FunKay the Inevitable]

The 5th Gym Leader in the Johto region of Pokémon is named after him...no, seriously.

 

[Muffin Top Merkley]

Before Chuck Norris jokes, there were Vin Diesel jokes.

In my neck of the woods at least.