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Exclusive Interview with Kurt Angle

Uncle Sam

Rear Naked Bloke
After the most recent “iMPACT” I caught up with Kurt, and after much persuasion, he finally agreed to give me a few minutes of his time. He was also adamant to point out that I was no where near his level and should feel honored to even talk to him let alone interview him. With that in mind…

Rice: Kurt, many people are wondering if with all that has gone on recently, have you reached your limits?

Angle: Wow, who in the hell do you think you are to even question me like that? I won a freaking gold medal with a broken neck. Can you do that? Don’t even bother answering that. Because we all know the answer is no way. I’m Kurt Angle, an Olympic gold medalist and multi-time champion. Do you even know what that means? That means I can do anything I want to. I am the best damn wrestler there is. If you ask me another question like that I will get up and leave.

Rice: Sorry Kurt, I am just saying that times have not been good for you recently. Let’s start with Karen, what is the situation there?

Angle: You’re a freaking idiot, has anyone ever told you that? Did you not just see me go out there and address “the situation” as you call it, for all the world to see? I invited Karen back home. I forgave her for being a failure of a wife, and now she has the chance to come back so we can be TOGETHER.

Rice: With all do respect Kurt, don’t you think your being a little harsh on Karen?

Angle: A little harsh? A little harsh! No way. I and everyone else can tell you I am being perfectly reasonable. Karen needs to know, and now she does, that my priorities are and always will be first and foremost the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, then my gold medals, the kids and then her.

Rice: Do you think Karen will accept your offer?

Angle: Your damn right I do. Karen is miserable without me.

Rice: If that’s the case, why do you think she been seeing someone else?

Angle: (Wow a chimp could ask better questions than this. Hell, AJ Styles could ask me better questions.) But since you obviously don’t understand women, let me put it to you like this. She has been doing it to make me jealous and it won’t work.

Rice: Do you think she is seeing AJ?

Angle: Obviously Karen is just using him as a pawn in this game of hers between us. It’s not like she has feeling for him or anything.

Rice: Fair enough. Let’s talk about Samoa Joe. Do you think th…

Angle: Don’t even finish that question. Do I think I can beat him for the title? What kind of question is that? First and foremost, it’s my title and he is just keeping it warm for me. I have beaten Joe so many times before and I would have done it again at Sacrifice. Let me just put it to you this way: once my doctors clear me to return, I am taking my title back.

Rice: So you’re not going to let the injury derail you?

Angle: You’re damn right it won’t. Like I said earlier, I won a gold medal with a broken neck. No little injury is going to hold me back. I don’t care if it takes one month, six months, even a year. I am going to train hard and get back in that ring, and when I do come back, Joe will give me what is mine.

Rice: Are you upset that you may not get to be a part of King of the Mountain?

Kurt: All I can say is Joe and the other nobodies in that match are lucky because if I were to be involved I would do just what I did last year in it. I would walk out the TNA World Heavyweight Champion.

Rice: If we could just go back to the whole Karen thing for a minute.

Angle: That’s it I am done. I feel stupider every time you ask me one of your questions. After next week, there won’t even be a Karen situation you moron. This interview is over.

With that Kurt walked off with an intense look in his eye. One thing is for sure, Joe may be the TNA World Heavyweight Champion right now, but Kurt wants it back and bad. The two are sure to meet again and when it does happen one can only imagine that it will be more of a brawl and less of a wrestling match. As for AJ, well all I can say is watch your back AJ because whether Kurt admits it or not, he seems to have it out for you.

From the main TNA website. What mong wrote this?
 

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