It's Damn Real!
The undisputed, undefeated TNA &
I'm tired of him, I'm tired of his shitty movies, and most of all, I'm tired of listening to his fans praise him as some sort of cinema genius – he sucks. Plain and simple. Sucks. I'd rather watch paint dry for two and a half hours than sit back and watch anything with this piece of shits name on it.
You want to watch a Tarantino film? Save your money, I can give you the break-down for it from beginning to end right now...
Enough with this fraud! See the forest for the trees, folks – this man is pathetic. Every one of his movies are a fucking replica of the one before it, and none of them are original, compelling or worth your hard-earned money. Please stop supporting this walking cock-sucker?
You want to watch a Tarantino film? Save your money, I can give you the break-down for it from beginning to end right now...
• Excessive dialogue. If you like talking, or listening to people talk – and I mean talk – for hours on end, you'll absolutely love his new movie, because it's going to be nothing but that (and gore, and gratuitous cursing). Not even Seinfeld can lay claim to this much speech about absolutely nothing.
• Someone's arm will get torn off in the goriest possible way and gallons of blood will spew from the wound onto the floor and all over the people around whoever just lost their arm.
• He will use the word "fuck" as an adjective, verb and noun in the same sentence repeatedly – e.g. "Fuck you, you fucking, mother fucker!", and "curse" words in general will be used gratuitously. If you did a find and replace all on any of his scripts, and you replaced every instance of "fuck", "shit", "******", "bitch", "ass", and "god damn" with "flower", you'd be watching a movie about a gory gardener.
• He will use the "n" word at least seven times, because fuck it – why not? It's "artistic" to use controversial means purely for controversial means.
• Someone will be raped, because rape is funny – except to anyone who understands what human decency is, and to anyone who doesn't actually want to bear witness to the devolution of human beings to their most primordial and animalistic behaviors – most of which are devoid of any semblance of civility, mercy or humanism.
• He'll rob from some poor Japanese director somewhere and pawn off their visions as his own. Oh, I know – he "borrows" from other film makers, right? He said it himself – "I lift ideas from other great films just like every other great filmmaker." So, is that why the ear-cutting scene from Reservoir Dogs was stolen from Django, or why one of the fighting scenes in Kill Bill Vol. 1 is an exact replica of a scene from Samurai Fiction? K, thanks Quentin. Just wanted to make sure you were OK with being a thief.
• Someone's face will be smashed in with a baseball bat, a meat cleaver, a hammer or any type of object that will allow him to vividly allow you to watch chunks of their skull and brain matter splatter everywhere – because you know, ultra violence is OK when it's aestheticized.
• Samuel L. Jackson will play an important part and will yell, a lot.
• There will be numerous pop-culture references conveniently thrown into incoherent ramblings (that fit his excessive dialogue) that will somehow come off as artistic "wit". Wit, my ass. “Know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France?” No, I don't, and I don't fucking care, either.
• Someone's arm will get torn off in the goriest possible way and gallons of blood will spew from the wound onto the floor and all over the people around whoever just lost their arm.
• He will use the word "fuck" as an adjective, verb and noun in the same sentence repeatedly – e.g. "Fuck you, you fucking, mother fucker!", and "curse" words in general will be used gratuitously. If you did a find and replace all on any of his scripts, and you replaced every instance of "fuck", "shit", "******", "bitch", "ass", and "god damn" with "flower", you'd be watching a movie about a gory gardener.
• He will use the "n" word at least seven times, because fuck it – why not? It's "artistic" to use controversial means purely for controversial means.

• Someone will be raped, because rape is funny – except to anyone who understands what human decency is, and to anyone who doesn't actually want to bear witness to the devolution of human beings to their most primordial and animalistic behaviors – most of which are devoid of any semblance of civility, mercy or humanism.
• He'll rob from some poor Japanese director somewhere and pawn off their visions as his own. Oh, I know – he "borrows" from other film makers, right? He said it himself – "I lift ideas from other great films just like every other great filmmaker." So, is that why the ear-cutting scene from Reservoir Dogs was stolen from Django, or why one of the fighting scenes in Kill Bill Vol. 1 is an exact replica of a scene from Samurai Fiction? K, thanks Quentin. Just wanted to make sure you were OK with being a thief.
• Someone's face will be smashed in with a baseball bat, a meat cleaver, a hammer or any type of object that will allow him to vividly allow you to watch chunks of their skull and brain matter splatter everywhere – because you know, ultra violence is OK when it's aestheticized.

• Samuel L. Jackson will play an important part and will yell, a lot.
• There will be numerous pop-culture references conveniently thrown into incoherent ramblings (that fit his excessive dialogue) that will somehow come off as artistic "wit". Wit, my ass. “Know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France?” No, I don't, and I don't fucking care, either.
Enough with this fraud! See the forest for the trees, folks – this man is pathetic. Every one of his movies are a fucking replica of the one before it, and none of them are original, compelling or worth your hard-earned money. Please stop supporting this walking cock-sucker?