Do parents owe kids college?

[RockFan89]

My brother just started going to college this year and over the past summer there has been a lot of tension in our house over how he is going to pay for it. Now my dad has firmly said that he is not going to be paying for most of it, he will kick in a small amount, maybe a thousand or two a year, but nothing close to the full cost of about $10,000 a year. My brother is getting some loan money, but there is still some amount that will not get covered. I'm still not entirely sure of how he will pay for it all. He is commuting from home via a train, so his housing and transportation are paid for by my parents.

Now my parents make around $120,000/year. Neither have completely secure jobs, and they do not have much saved up in retirement. Even though they are not super wealthy, if they really wanted to, they could help pay for what the loans do not cover.

(I should note that I am a junior in college now and have paid my way through scholarships that I have earned, so there is an entirely separate issue of fairness of whether my parents should help pay for my brother's education when I made the sacrifice to go to a worse school so that I can pay for it myself)

So this is my question, if parents could help pay for part or all of their child's college tuition/fees/housing etc. do they have a moral obligation to do so?

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

With 529 plans, I don't think any person who intends to have children has an excuse to NOT pay for the higher education of their future children (unless, of course, they make less than six figures a year). However, since these plans weren't created until 1996, I think your parents should be cut a little slack, especially since they don't have much saved up for retirement and since their jobs aren't very secure.

On the other hand, if your parents insist that your brother go to college but are asking him to foot the bill, then I think this is morally wrong. No 18 year-old should go to college if they can't pay for their tuition outright, plain and simple. Besides having no idea what they want to do with their lives, a majority of 18 year-olds cannot appreciate the value of higher education at so inexperienced an age.

 

[HBK-aholic]

Yeah I definitely think, wherever possible, parents should have been saving for their children to go to college/university since they were born. If you're at a small, low-paid job I can see the issue, however many parents are not - they have real money coming in, and should use that to ensure their children have the best start in life should they want to take the option of college. It's hard enough without them having to worry about money and loans, and being in debt for a lot of their life. If parents are ABLE to help in any way, I think they should, whether that be a percentage of the fees, or, if possible, the whole thing. I can't think of many more important things for a parent to spend their money on aside from the essentials.

 

[justinsayne]

Um isn't this what scholarships are for?, once you turn 18 you are suppose to be an adult and as such you should start taking responsibility for your own education, I mean for fuck sake your parents have been supporting you for the past 18 fucking years, paying for everything you NEED to that point, if a kid wants to head straight to college after HS then he should work his ass off to get there, there are plenty of ways to get money to pay of college, student loans, scholarships, oh yeah and those things called fucking jobs

...and I don't know where you people are getting this delusion that most parents are bringing in boat loads of cash, in fact I highly doubt most parents are even bringing in 6 figures combined, if they are able to help then yeah they should help with what they can, but they shouldn't have to be expected to float the whole fucking bill, in fact I think if a kid is responsible for finding a way to pay for the majority of their college education they are more likely to take it seriously and not waste the opportunity

 

[HBK-aholic]

Um isn't this what scholarships are for?, once you turn 18 you are suppose to be an adult and as such you should start taking responsibility for your own education, I mean for fuck sake your parents have been supporting you for the past 18 fucking years, paying for everything you NEED to that point, if a kid wants to head straight to college after HS then he should work his ass off to get there, there are plenty of ways to get money to pay of college, student loans, scholarships, oh yeah and those things called fucking jobs

...and I don't know where you people are getting this delusion that most parents are bringing in boat loads of cash, in fact I highly doubt most parents are even bringing in 6 figures combined, if they are able to help then yeah they should help with what they can, but they shouldn't have to be expected to float the whole fucking bill, in fact I think if a kid is responsible for finding a way to pay for the majority of their college education they are more likely to take it seriously and not waste the opportunity

The bold part is the entire point, I believe. Parents shouldn't be 'forced' to help pay for it, or feel bad if they can't, but morally, I think what you can help your child with, you should. Being a parent doesn't stop on your childs 18th birthday, I think you should be there to support them throughout their lives. Not financially - once they've left education I think it should be down to them. But if your child wants to go to college to better themselves I think as a parent, you should want to help with that wherever possible.

I'm not sure how common scholarships are in the US, but they're not at all common in the UK, so it's unrealistic to expect children to get a scholarship through college, or for a part-time job to pay for it. Should they be working? Absolutely, but they'll never be able to afford all the costs of that life choice with the regular high school type job.

The last point is also a good one. If you think your child is going to waste-away their college life, and your money, then absolutely refuse, but I don't think that's true of all, and shouldn't necessarily be a blanket assumption.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

Um, what the fuck on earth? HELL fucking no, they dont OWE you shit, unless you are some kid of weak assed tittybaby.

All a parent owes you is food, clothing, shelter, and teachings on how to not conduct yourself like a fucking jackass. For 18 years, that is what they owe you for creating you.

Past that, parents dont "owe" kids a damn fucking thing.

 

[Hollywood Naitch]

I dont think that parents "OWE" kids college, but I think the majority, if able to afford it, would be willing to pay for at least some of it, in order to give their children every opportunity possible.

I commuted to university for my degree, and my parents contributed to my course fees, but even now I am still left with a huge debt.

There is nothing to say a parent should pay for their son/daughter to go to university, but i think that a parent should WANT to help and support their offspring achieve the most they can out of life.

Just because you are 18, your parents shouldnt just abandon you to fend your yourself. Plenty of people I know didnt even have part-time jobs at 18 or throughout university. I did, not because my parents couldnt afford to pay for my whole degree, because they could, but because I wanted to take some responsibility myself. I didnt think it was right they should pay for everything, because it is alot of money, but I would have been a bit pissed off if they had refused to help me out when they were able to.

 

[The Mark of Zur-En-Arrh]

You owe your parents everything, they owe you nothing. I'd leave it at that if i could, but can't so......

My folks paid my tuition fees, i paid for everything else, and i'll be paying my student loan back out of my own pocket as well, all £15,000 of it.

Problem is, University or College or whatever you call it, used to be for the very rich only. Now every Tom, Dick, and Harry can go to Uni and get a degree to the point where they are more or less worthless unless they are an MA or above.

All of life is based on the idea that if you want something, you have to work hard to earn it. If you want to further your education, you either spend most of your life in a library, or you save up to go to university. That's why people take gap years (ok, most just piss off round the world for a year because education is no longer mandatory), to earn exra cash for their next endeavour.

Your parents worked their asses off to get to a position where they could comfortably provide everything YOU needed just to survive. They then spent another 18 years (or at least 10, considering that a lot of kids get after school jobs around the age of 13) doing that, as well as forking out more of their hard earned money for every self indulgent whim you come across, and then you want them to pay for the future you want?

When exactly do you start putting some fuckin' effort in for your future?

 

[Navi]

My son is in university and he got there by taking a year off and working his ass off. He also got quite a good scholarship that is paying most of his tuition. I pay for his accommodation though because he wouldn't have been able to do it otherwise. Plus I told him a long time ago I would help out if needed.

A lot of his friends don't have any support from their parents and are well struggling. One of them works two jobs just to pay the rent and spends the rest of his free time studying. This kid talks about quitting all the time and that's something I don't want my son to do. Let's face most companies hiring today want a college or university degree in order just to get in the door.

If the parents can afford it then fine let them help, but if they can't well too bad they can't. Kids have to start taking responsibility for their own choices and stop whining about how their parents aren't doing this or that for them.

Once you reach the age of 18, your considered an adult and you should start acting like one. Nowhere does it say you have to leave high school and enter university the following year, take some time, work, earn some money and take charge of your future. Your parents aren't going to be around forever to catch you when you fall. You have to learn that on your own.

 

[Kenny Powers]

They really don't owe their child anything when they turn 18. Most kids go to college and don't even like it. Some even have scholarships and they blow their opportunity. It would be great if parents have a big trust fund for their kids, but its not fair either. My sister lives off my parents when my parents don't have that much money coming in at all. I earned my way through college through the GI Bill. I have enough money to pay all my expenses and even some left over for living allowances. If kids think everything is going to be handed to them, then they are in for a rude awakening. You can't live off your parents money forever.

 

[Trill Co$by]

Depends... A full ride? Hell no. Throughout high school, instead of going around and trying to have sex and doing drugs, teenagers could go out and get a job at sixteen. Hell some places hire you at 14 if you have a work permit. Most teenagers get it easy today because a lot of businesses want young men and women to work for them because they have more energy in them and can become future leaders of their company.

Parents, in my opinion, should help their children through college... not even that maybe just the first year. Because freshmen college students don't have the experience to apply for financial aid and all of that. However, I also believe that if you're one of those who lay around during high school and don't take it seriously, then don't complain when you're flipping patties.

Everyone is given equal opportunity in their lives and if you apply yourself well enough, there are scholarships, loans, and even your own money to fall back on to help you through college.

And in the end, if nothing else, they could at least co-sign for extra loans so that way you won't have to have much to worry about until after you graduate.

 

[LigerBomb]

The answer all depends on two beliefs:

Is a Baccalaureate degree/college education necessary to be independently successful in not just today's economy but the economy of the child's future?

Is it a parent's job/responsibility to give their child the best possible odds at achieving success throughout all stages of their life, or as some have said does a parent's job "end" upon the child's 18th birthday?

Certainly of course the answer to the 2nd question largely informs the necessity for the 1st question to even need asking.

Personally I believe for many, but not all, a college education is necessary and perhaps mandatory for financial success both now and for the foreseeable future. There of course will always be exceptions and odd success stories but they more often prove, rather than discredit, the rule.

As for the second part, I believe you have children to enrich another life and impart a bit of yourself in the next generation. To do so optimally should then be the planned course of action –as the saying goes "Anything worth doing, is worth doing right". Therefore if you're not actively trying to ensure continuing education beyond high school for your child you're really not doing your best as their parent.

 

[Minnesota Connection]

To think all parents will have enough money to give there kids a college education is great in a perfect world. But its not.

Some kids are little pissants that think they deserve everything, do nothing and have only themselves to blame for it when they fail.

Parents owe nothing to there kids, but the basics of life. It's up to the kid to get that scholarship, its up to that kid to get a job... Guidance, sure, but mommy and daddy should not do everything for their child.

 

[Navi]

The answer all depends on two beliefs:

Is a Baccalaureate degree/college education necessary to be independently successful in not just today's economy but the economy of the child's future?

Is it a parent's job/responsibility to give their child the best possible odds at achieving success throughout all stages of their life, or as some have said does a parent's job "end" upon the child's 18th birthday?

Certainly of course the answer to the 2nd question largely informs the necessity for the 1st question to even need asking.

Personally I believe for many, but not all, a college education is necessary and perhaps mandatory for financial success both now and for the foreseeable future. There of course will always be exceptions and odd success stories but they more often prove, rather than discredit, the rule.

As for the second part, I believe you have children to enrich another life and impart a bit of yourself in the next generation. To do so optimally should then be the planned course of action –as the saying goes "Anything worth doing, is worth doing right". Therefore if you're not actively trying to ensure continuing education beyond high school for your child you're really not doing your best as their parent.

Oh, what a load of shit. Tell me how many kids do you have that your putting through college or university? I'll bet you the answer to that is none.

I have one in university right now, and it's not cheap. For the last 19 years I've put a roof over my son's head, fed and clothed him, bought him everything he needed and then some, when does it end. He has known that since I'm a single parent, I don't have the money to spend up to 50k on a university degree for him, so he would have to help out.

He worked, got a scholarship and managed to make it happen. As I said before the only thing I pay for his is he accommodation. At some point in time parents have to say enough is enough. I don't know any parent that would deliberately want to deny their child an education, but the fact is some of us cannot afford it.

I paid for my own university degree, a Masters, by hard work and again scholarship money, There is nothing wrong with teaching your children that hard work pays off. When they get handed everything to them, they learn nothing. I've seen a lot of parents pay for university just to have the kids squander the opportunity. When your paying for something yourself, you seem to value it more.

When your kids want to get a degree and your wondering where the hell your going to get the money, come back and talk to me. Until then please don't judge all parents based on the actions of a few.

 

[LigerBomb]

Oh, what a load of shit. Tell me how many kids do you have that your you're putting through college or university? I'll bet you the answer to that is none.

You've won the bet! Here, have my indifference as a prize. As I'm currently unmarried and without children I would indeed have to answer 'none' (though I suppose I could have lied). However, if I would've said 'two children' would that have really made a difference? Would I suddenly be more "right" in my viewpoint and personal opinion? What if, instead, I answered that I know many people who feel as I do and they've put multiple children through school? Am I more "right" then? *shrug*

I have one in university right now, and it's not cheap. For the last 19 years I've put a roof over my son's head, fed and clothed him, bought him everything he needed and then some, when does it end.? He has known that since I'm a single parent, I don't have the money to spend up to 50k on a university degree for him, so he would have to help out.

And I care because …?

He worked, got a scholarship and managed to make it happen. As I said before the only thing I pay for his is he is his accommodation. At some point in time parents have to say enough is enough. I don't know any parent that would deliberately want to deny their child an education, but the fact is some of us cannot afford it.

Hmm, I could be a real ass here and say "Plan better, college isn't a surprise expense.", or "Then don't have kids", etc. but I won't. Instead I'll ask you to re-read what I wrote. I said "if you're not actively trying to ensure continuing education beyond high school for your child you're really not doing your best as their parent." From your bleating it sounds as if you're indeed trying, so what's the fuss about I wonder?

I paid for my own university degree, a Masters, by hard work and again scholarship money, There is nothing wrong with teaching your children that hard work pays off. When they get handed everything to them, they learn nothing. I've seen a lot of parents pay for university just to have the kids squander the opportunity. When your you're paying for something yourself, you seem to value it more.

You inferred most, if not all of that, while I actually said none of it. Oh, and congrats on the degree(s).

When your kids want to get a degree and your you're wondering where the hell your you're going to get the money, come back and talk to me. Until then please don't judge all parents based on the actions of a few.

Well, at least you said 'please'. I've really not judged anyone unfairly actually. Though even if I were to do so it would be my right, condescending as you may think it to be. Anyway, if you must know (and since we're "sharing" personal info), I plan on having children only when I'm financially stable enough to afford to do so, and (my wife and I) will be saving to try and foot the bills as much as possible –if not 100%.

Cheers

 

[ABMorales787]

My parent's don't pay a cent. The government pays most of it and I'm personally paying about 300 for this semester alone. It's not that they don't want to, it's that they can't. But they still want me to have a good future and and always talk me into staying and finishing college however I can. They even bought me a car to help (even if it's a piece of crap).

A parent's job is to raise a kid as he grows up. College, although optional, is in fact part of the growing up process. Parents don't owe it to you, but lending a hand is nice. It would be pretty irresponsible to send your kids to college with absolutely nothing to hold themselves up. When I started last year, I had no job. meaning gas and food had to come from them. Meanwhile I searched for a job and found one. Now I don't need their help as much and can stand on my own. I think that's the point of this.

 

[Dagger Dias]

Parents don't owe their kids anything once they turn 18. I'm lucky enough that my parents are willing to help me financially with school and rent until I graduate, but that is their decision. They CHOSE to help me when they didn't HAVE to do anything. People who think their parents "owe" them anything once they become adults have no idea what they are talking about. They worked hard for that money, or at least that's how it should be, so they should get the choice in what to spend it on. If they choose to not give you any help then that is their choice. The moral obligations to help out financially end once their child becomes an adult.

 

[Arkham Noir]

Um, what the fuck on earth? HELL fucking no, they dont OWE you shit, unless you are some kid of weak assed tittybaby.

All a parent owes you is food, clothing, shelter, and teachings on how to not conduct yourself like a fucking jackass. For 18 years, that is what they owe you for creating you.

Past that, parents dont "owe" kids a damn fucking thing.

Such a way with words.

I essentially agree though, parents don't owe their kids college, but it would be nice if they helped. But than again, like one of the posters said before me, alot of kids fuck around doing nothing during the entire time they are in high school and really don't deserve help.

 

[ryanwwe]

Owe them it.... No and here is why, we all have the capability to pay our own way if we apply ourselves and didn't goof off in high school. My sister was able to go to a school a school that would have cost $60,000 for 4 years for about $5,000 and why? Because she applied herself and made sure it could be affordable. Look back to when your parents were growing up and how many of their parents paid for their school, not to many and its not because they dont care to its because they probably couldn't afford to. We could talk in circles about this but i would personally never expect or think someone especially my family owes me $50,000 plus dollars to go to school. Its ruff out their and i think we are looking at this all wrong. Parents wouldn't even need to help if government and these universities made school more affordable and gave out more scholarships.

 

[SalvIsWin]

No, your parents do not owe you a college education, they are legally required to maintain an acceptable level of care and support until you're an adult. Everyone seems to agree with that, however I would say that a responsible parent would look to the future and realize that a post-secondary education is more important now than it ever has been. Post-secondary education in the past was viewed by the populous as a luxury, but it has, or is becoming a necessity. Point being that a parent should be able to realize that:

• Your child is probably going to need a post-secondary education to be successful.
• Regardless of scholarships and the money one can earn by working a job, school is still a considerable amount of money.

At least in Canada, if you work hard in high school, you could easily receive a hefty scholarship that would cover a considerable portion of your tuition, and if you're willing to live with three other housemates, you could lower your yearly education costs to around $6,000 - $7,000. With some frugal spending and saving, you could probably cover the first two years of your education, and even so, there is government assistance, which are essentially interest-free (until you graduate and begin to work) loans.
That's an ideal view however, because a lot of teens aren't going to have a 90%+ average, and they are going to make mistakes, and they aren't going to manage their money as well as they could. I think a responsible parent should be able to look ahead and plan to help out their child. By the age you have children, I would assume you have some considerable insight on how to manage your income and savings. There are a lot of programs parents can pay into early that will allow for some flexibility when their child goes to school.
Obviously not every parent can do this, and a lot of parents can barely afford to save even small amounts of money, but I would say the majority of parents should be responsible enough to put some money aside to help their child.