enviousdominous
Behold my diction
Crocker and his girlfriend Nicky Minaj sit in a movie theater after having watched "Manos: The Hands of Fate".
"Crocker baby?" Nicky asked.
"What is it now!?" Crocker asked in an annoyed tone.
"That guy Chuck Norris keeps blowing up my phone. You have to do something." Nicky whined before cuddling up to Crocker.
"Yeah, I'll get right on that. How about you stay the fuck off your phone in the meantime?" Crocker blurted out while stuffing his face with popcorn.
Nicky bursts into tears and storms out of the emergency exit of the theater. Crocker huffs with frustration and stumbles after her spilling various theater snacks onto the floor.
Crocker exits the theater and hears Nicky scream in a piercing tone. Crocker rushes four feet to be at her side and takes a minute to catch his breath.
"Look honey, this is no time to try singing without autotune and.." Crocker began to say before a shadowy figure approaches. Nicky Minaj points at the figure and looks at it in a horrified manner.
"I'm Crocker, who the fuck are you?" Crocker said in a patronizing tone.
"I'm Chuck Norris." Chuck Norris said.
"AH!!" Crocker and Nicky both shouted, with horror and excitement respectively.
"I've got a dime bag of blow and a limo Nicky, you wanna'?" Chuck Norris asked Nicki Minaj.
"Sorry Crocker, I can't say no to that." Nicky said.
"Maybe if you weren't so STUPID you would say something that made sense for once you dumb bint!" Crocker shouted.
"Whoa now, where I come from we treat ladies with respect!" Chuck Norris said.
"I was talking to you dipshit!" Crocker shouted.
Chuck strikes a combative pose, and Crocker promptly kicks Chuck in the groin causing Chuck to fall over in pain.
"Crocker! Where did you learn that?" Nicky asked.
"WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP! By the laws of Texas, where we happen to be, I just became the new Texas Ranger!" Crocker said.
"Why did you just add details that would be irrelevant unless we were trying to convey circumstances to an observer?" Nicky asked.
"Shut up Chuck!" Crocker shouted before kicking Chuck Norris in the stomach.
Crocker takes Chuck Norris' cowboy hat and puts it on his head.
"Crocker" Chuck groaned.
"What is it this time Nicky?" Crocker asked.
"No, it's me Chuck Norris." Chuck said.
Crocker kicks Chuck Norris in the stomach again.
"Your new name is Dork Norris!" Crocker said.
"Dork Norris speaking. Where did you learn such an intense move?" Dork asked.
"I'm glad you asked Dork Norris. I was watching my hero, John Cena, in his epic feud with The Big Show. He kicked him in the groin after a thrilling battle rap, and I've been practicing the move ever since then." Crocker gleefully explained.
"Did somebody say my name?" Nicky Minaj said before ripping off the disguise revealing herself as John Cena.
"JOHN CENA!" John Cena shouted.
"Wait, I just realized that I don't like you!" Crocker said.
John stands with his groin suspiciously vulnerable. Crocker rears back his leg, and delivers a whopping kick to John Cena's nether-region, causing his foot to break,
Crocker falls to the ground in pain next to Dork Norris.
"You just assaulted an officer of the law John Cena!" Crocker groaned out.
"Do you have balls of steel?" Dork Norris asked.
"No, don't be silly. I'm wearing a supporter, maybe look into that Dork Norris." John said.
"I CAN STILL KICK YOUR ASS!" Crocker shouted while crawling toward John Cena.
John holds his butt out in a suspiciously vulnerable manner. Crocker, excited by this scene, frantically crawls forward only to fall into an open manhole.
"Crocker baby?" Nicky asked.
"What is it now!?" Crocker asked in an annoyed tone.
"That guy Chuck Norris keeps blowing up my phone. You have to do something." Nicky whined before cuddling up to Crocker.
"Yeah, I'll get right on that. How about you stay the fuck off your phone in the meantime?" Crocker blurted out while stuffing his face with popcorn.
Nicky bursts into tears and storms out of the emergency exit of the theater. Crocker huffs with frustration and stumbles after her spilling various theater snacks onto the floor.
Crocker exits the theater and hears Nicky scream in a piercing tone. Crocker rushes four feet to be at her side and takes a minute to catch his breath.
"Look honey, this is no time to try singing without autotune and.." Crocker began to say before a shadowy figure approaches. Nicky Minaj points at the figure and looks at it in a horrified manner.
"I'm Crocker, who the fuck are you?" Crocker said in a patronizing tone.
"I'm Chuck Norris." Chuck Norris said.
"AH!!" Crocker and Nicky both shouted, with horror and excitement respectively.
"I've got a dime bag of blow and a limo Nicky, you wanna'?" Chuck Norris asked Nicki Minaj.
"Sorry Crocker, I can't say no to that." Nicky said.
"Maybe if you weren't so STUPID you would say something that made sense for once you dumb bint!" Crocker shouted.
"Whoa now, where I come from we treat ladies with respect!" Chuck Norris said.
"I was talking to you dipshit!" Crocker shouted.
Chuck strikes a combative pose, and Crocker promptly kicks Chuck in the groin causing Chuck to fall over in pain.
"Crocker! Where did you learn that?" Nicky asked.
"WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP! By the laws of Texas, where we happen to be, I just became the new Texas Ranger!" Crocker said.
"Why did you just add details that would be irrelevant unless we were trying to convey circumstances to an observer?" Nicky asked.
"Shut up Chuck!" Crocker shouted before kicking Chuck Norris in the stomach.
Crocker takes Chuck Norris' cowboy hat and puts it on his head.
"Crocker" Chuck groaned.
"What is it this time Nicky?" Crocker asked.
"No, it's me Chuck Norris." Chuck said.
Crocker kicks Chuck Norris in the stomach again.
"Your new name is Dork Norris!" Crocker said.
"Dork Norris speaking. Where did you learn such an intense move?" Dork asked.
"I'm glad you asked Dork Norris. I was watching my hero, John Cena, in his epic feud with The Big Show. He kicked him in the groin after a thrilling battle rap, and I've been practicing the move ever since then." Crocker gleefully explained.
"Did somebody say my name?" Nicky Minaj said before ripping off the disguise revealing herself as John Cena.
"JOHN CENA!" John Cena shouted.
"Wait, I just realized that I don't like you!" Crocker said.
John stands with his groin suspiciously vulnerable. Crocker rears back his leg, and delivers a whopping kick to John Cena's nether-region, causing his foot to break,
Crocker falls to the ground in pain next to Dork Norris.
"You just assaulted an officer of the law John Cena!" Crocker groaned out.
"Do you have balls of steel?" Dork Norris asked.
"No, don't be silly. I'm wearing a supporter, maybe look into that Dork Norris." John said.
"I CAN STILL KICK YOUR ASS!" Crocker shouted while crawling toward John Cena.
John holds his butt out in a suspiciously vulnerable manner. Crocker, excited by this scene, frantically crawls forward only to fall into an open manhole.
