Bullying, it's ramifications, and how it affects today's society

[Serious Mozzarella]

(CNN) -- Nine Massachusetts teenagers have been charged with involvement in a monthslong campaign of bullying that led to the January suicide of a 15-year-old girl, a prosecutor said.

Phoebe Prince's body was found hanging in the stairway leading to her family's second-floor apartment in South Hadley, Northwestern District Attorney Elizabeth D. Scheibel told reporters Monday in the western Massachusetts town of Northampton.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/03/30/massachusetts.bullying.suicide/index.html?hpt=T1

You know, you don't really hear about suicides from bullying in previous generations. The next logical step, in my honest opinion, is to believe that this resulted from a mixture of the current generation of teenagers being more vindictive and cunty than ever, along with teenagers' ability to make the smallest, slightest situation seem like the end of the world.

Only a mixture of both of these dangerous mindsets could result in a suicide.

I think the current generation of teenagers are a bunch of pansies, in my opinion. If there is no mental illness resulting in suicidal thoughts, and you want to "get away from it all" because you've been bullied at school, then I really can't empathize. It's a selfish, cowardice thought to have. Yeah, bullying sucks, but there are an infinite amount of steps you can take to distance yourself from shitty situations. Suicide is never the way to go, in any given situation.

What say you, WZ?

Also, this would be golden for a side-conversation, or even another thread:

Earlier that day, Phoebe had been harassed as she studied in the library at South Hadley High School, apparently in the presence of a faculty member and several students, none of whom reported it until after the girl's death, Scheibel said.

Ah, the education system well at work, protecting and maintaining the safety of their students. Am I right or am I right?

 

[One Punch Doug Crashin]

As a victim of relentless teasing myself back in high school and middle school I can tell you it absolutely SUCKS! I probably would've done the same thing had it not have been for friends who supported me and of course being respected for my musical talents.

Bullying lowers self-esteem and its really hard to get right back up when you know your gonna go through the same thing every day of your life. There is NO support in schools. NONE. If you even tell someone your a tattle tale.

 

[Rhonda Rousey's Sports Bra]

Violence is the answer.

From my experience in high school I found out that you need to grow thick skin and if you are being bullied by someone pop them in the mouth. The worst thing you can get is suspended for a week and maybe a fighting ticket if the cops get involved.

When I was a freshman I got picked on like any other freshman would, but I learned to laugh at some of the shit that the older kids were giving me and that gained their respect. Other times some of them went a little too far or they would get physical i.e. pushing into lockers or tripping, and in those instances I would stand up for myself. Yes I would get suspended and I got a ticket for fighting one time but it definatly showed the older kids that I wasn't one to be picked on and I was left alone.

As far as the girl commiting suicide because of bullying, I think that is a cowardly way to go and I'm sure that there is more to the story than just bullying. I recently had a close friend of mine commit suicide and it still doesn't change how I feel on the subject, I know he had problems but nobodys problems are bad enough to end their life, especially not being picked on by kids at school.

 

[Deexter Jorgan]

I was bullied relentlessly because of my intelegence, looks and the fact that i could grow a full beard by 13, I kid you not.

People are harsh and look at targets in order to make themselves feel better, and teachers dont exactly help at all, Ive seen situations where children are being bullied to the point that suicide is considered an option.

Parents need to distil some disciplin in their bratty little bullies and not look for excuses, and teachers need to be given more power and develop a better understanding in order to challenge bullying and stop it from its roots.

In order for my bullying to stop I had to challenge those involved and beat the living hell out of them, Once i targeted the ones that did it my life became easier.

Their will always be bullying and always be those who are jealous of your abilities you just need to think positive and find a viable solution even if it is your fists.

Even today i get people who loath my existence, the difference between then and now is that i just live my life and get on with things, not let them bother me.

Bullies will always have a place in society, and they will always get their way but if we stand up to them they may less and less likely bully anyone else in fear of reprucussions.

My answer if you dont want your kids to be bullied teach them a fighting skill and some discipline, and if they attempt to beat them up, once they defend themselves we can see how small bullies really are.

 

[Mufasa]

Bullying is unfortunate but I don't think law enforcement should be tied up into investigating bullying whenever there are rapists and murderers on the loose. To me that's a misuse of our resources.

This is more of a personal matter that people will have to work out themselves. Bullies are a fact of life and usually go after easy targets so like it's already been mentioned, parents should teach their children to shrug it off or defend themselves.

 

[Safari.GFX]

It has gotten to out of hand, back when my parents were in school, there were silly shit that went on on the playground, but my generation has took it to a whole new level. There is no need no need! for it to go on. People aren't always going to get along with each other, and we'll have to live with that, but there is no reason to hurt someone so much they kill them self. It really upsets me that someone took there own life because kids at school were hazing them so much. I even heard a 7 year old took his life. What ever happen to kids being kids? You know, going outside and playing? Now theres cell phones and people sending pictures of there dicks to each other... Just really upsets me.

 

[SalvIsWin]

Violence is the answer.

From my experience in high school I found out that you need to grow thick skin and if you are being bullied by someone pop them in the mouth. The worst thing you can get is suspended for a week and maybe a fighting ticket if the cops get involved.

When I was a freshman I got picked on like any other freshman would, but I learned to laugh at some of the shit that the older kids were giving me and that gained their respect. Other times some of them went a little too far or they would get physical i.e. pushing into lockers or tripping, and in those instances I would stand up for myself. Yes I would get suspended and I got a ticket for fighting one time but it definatly showed the older kids that I wasn't one to be picked on and I was left alone.

You clearly do not understand what some children go through on a daily basis as a result of bullying. Some children target others and zone in on them, becoming relentless. Contrary to popular belief, ignoring bullies or 'popping them in the mouth' isn't always going to be successful. It is true that some bullies are simply looking for a rise out of their victim, so by not giving them that satisfaction, they become bored and move on to another victim, but that isn't even solving the problem isn't it? Other bullies are cowardly, they rely on the fact that you will not stand up for yourself, but that doesn't mean this will always work either. In fact, you might recall cases of children being brutally beaten or stabbed because they stood up for themselves, so the fact that you're trying to suggest this as a catch-all solution is completely ignorant and incorrect.

As far as the girl commiting suicide because of bullying, I think that is a cowardly way to go and I'm sure that there is more to the story than just bullying. I recently had a close friend of mine commit suicide and it still doesn't change how I feel on the subject, I know he had problems but nobodys problems are bad enough to end their life, especially not being picked on by kids at school.

The victim is a coward for not knowing where else to turn and feeling that death is their only way out? Are you out of your mind? Nobodies problems are bad enough to end their life? Who are you and what information or education do you have that makes you think you are in any position to make a statement like that. Myself, I am in Psychology and I read and have done research on bullying cases constantly, so let me inform you that bullying can be far, far worse then any thing you encountered, which by your post seems to be mild teasing and mild physical aggression. Are you even aware of the severe psychological trauma that many adults face later in life as a result of adolescent bullying?

I don't purposely jump in to a discussion and suggest that every one has to be an expert on the matter to have an opinion, but I find your post so outrageous and ignorant that is deserves a response like this.

 

[LigerBomb]

What has to be made crystal clear to those suffering from bullying is that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and that it is ultimately a benefit to no one, nor a meaningful solution.
Internet bullying is on the rise because it's as anonymous as one wants to be, easy to do, promotes a heard mentality, and speads quickly. Clearly this is right up the alley of (pre)teens that at this stage of social development are all about social stratification, conformity/acceptance, and peer pressure.
An era of mindlessly over litigious people, parents who feel their kid are entitled to everything yet don't want to do the actual work of at home parenting and staying actively informed in the lives of their children, a system devoid of honoring real achievement and hard work and instead protecting mediocrity/preventing bruised egos, and the social media boom have all created a perfect storm of snot-nosed brats who feel they can do and say anything to anyone regardless or outcome or repercussion, and likewise a generation of soft, weak-willed, prescription med addicted, babies who can't deal with people not always being nice to them, or treating them "fairly".
Perhaps there needs to be a toughening up of our youth and in the opposite direction a clamp down on defamation of character though not via litigious channels. I hate the idea of new laws having to be placed on the books that give schools jurisdiction over speech (even the virtual kind like text on the internet) that is said off of school property.
Kids are kids and they won't change. There will always be bullies. Always. This generation of parents is doing an awful job of keeping their kids in line, therefore sadly, it will have to fall on the victims to be stronger and deal with these issues perhaps in a more joined and cohesive effort alongside other troubled and victimized teens.
Other than that, I fear any overblown efforts to clamp down free speech or permit extension of jurisdiction, is simply the wrong way to go. Surely, punishment must be duly mete out to those who find it necessary to terrorize there peers, I'm just unsure of how to accomplish such things in any meaningful way.

 

[Dagger Dias]

That's terrible. Why can't people just be kind to one another? Words can hurt. Sure, we all like to joke around.... but things can feel below the belt or extremely hurtful if you don't know enough about someone to realize that those remarks/actions can do emotional damage to them. Bullying might seem like the "cool" thing to do for some people, or just simply a way to put themselves over while knocking someone else down socially in the process.

Newsflash. People remember cruel things that are done and/or said to them. If you hurt someone's feelings, chances are they will remember it. Some people are more forgiving. Others have a chip on their shoulder for the rest of their lives. It depends on the person as well as what the bully does to their victim. Some victims of bullying are just not able to fight back.

I was put down a lot by my peers as a teen for not drinking or smoking when I went to parties with them, and also for abstaining from physicalities with women I dated. People put me down for that stuff ALL the time back then. I'm going to be honest, and this is something I don't share often.... I was suicidal at one point due to the cruel words of my peers, and feeling like I did not belong. I would never have gone through with it because of religious reasons that prevented it from happening, but I was a victim of severe verbal bullying and I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end, as well as contemplating doing terrible things to myself. That was a really long time ago (around 7+ years) and I was able to turn things around for myself, but not until college.

People REALLY need to watch what they say to someone. What might be funny to you might hurt someone's feelings, and that's just the least of what it could do to them. What about those rare cases when someone cannot forgive and they only desire revenge? That never leads to anything good. Also, it doesn't help when the teachers don't seem to care that some students are treated bad by their peers.

This is going to sound a bit cheesy, but the best thing you can do is to just be nice to everyone. Who are the most liked and respected people in any given social group? The ones who treat people with the kindness and respect they deserve, and those will stick up for someone who is being treated badly. Every friend is an asset, and I try to make friends with everyone. Sometimes all somebody needs is to just have that one person reach out to them and be a friend.

Bullying is an awful thing, but human beings as an animal species want to be dominant, especially among men.... everyone wants to be that "alpha male" so they rely on bullying to get themselves more "cool" and taking down potential rivals in the process.

Situations like the one mentioned in the original post would happen far less often if people would just be nicer to each other because one little joke could be taken the wrong way and send someone over the edge emotionally. Remember that the next time you make fun of someone, it might hurt their feelings and ruin their day, or (in more severe cases) even ruin their life.

 

[Mustang Sally]

Bullies are a fact of life and usually go after easy targets so like it's already been mentioned, parents should teach their children to shrug it off or defend themselves.

Everyone has had to deal with bullies in their lives, yet I always wondered what it must be like to be the parent of a bully. How must it feel to know that your child's greatest pleasure in life is to pick on smaller, younger kids and make their lives miserable?

My folks told me they had a chance to find out about that when my younger brother (age 10) was being tormented at the school bus stop by three older kids. He fought back, but there were too many of them and they were too big. Plus, since it was the bus stop, it was an everyday occurrence.

My parents went to the parents of the "head bully" and the answer they gave was telling: "If you didn't raise your child to be a wimp, other kids wouldn't find the need to pick on him."

Well, there you have it.....the classic "blame the victim" approach......and it certainly answered my question as to what the parent of a bully thinks.

Ugh.

 

[Rhonda Rousey's Sports Bra]

You clearly do not understand what some children go through on a daily basis as a result of bullying. Some children target others and zone in on them, becoming relentless. Contrary to popular belief, ignoring bullies or 'popping them in the mouth' isn't always going to be successful. It is true that some bullies are simply looking for a rise out of their victim, so by not giving them that satisfaction, they become bored and move on to another victim, but that isn't even solving the problem isn't it? Other bullies are cowardly, they rely on the fact that you will not stand up for yourself, but that doesn't mean this will always work either. In fact, you might recall cases of children being brutally beaten or stabbed because they stood up for themselves, so the fact that you're trying to suggest this as a catch-all solution is completely ignorant and incorrect.



The victim is a coward for not knowing where else to turn and feeling that death is their only way out? Are you out of your mind? Nobodies problems are bad enough to end their life? Who are you and what information or education do you have that makes you think you are in any position to make a statement like that. Myself, I am in Psychology and I read and have done research on bullying cases constantly, so let me inform you that bullying can be far, far worse then any thing you encountered, which by your post seems to be mild teasing and mild physical aggression. Are you even aware of the severe psychological trauma that many adults face later in life as a result of adolescent bullying?

I don't purposely jump in to a discussion and suggest that every one has to be an expert on the matter to have an opinion, but I find your post so outrageous and ignorant that is deserves a response like this.

No clearly I don't because I am not some children, I am myself so I only know what I went through and how I dealt with it.

No popping someone in the mouth won't work 100% of the time, nothing works 100% of the time. Again I'm giving my opinion on how to deal with the matter because it is how I did it and it worked for me.

I'm also not trying to solve everyones problems I'm just giving my opinion on how to solve it for the person being bullied, not the next kid, but maybe if the bully gets the same reaction from everyone that they bully then they will learn to stop.

No I don't recall any of those stories but I'm sure that they have happened. I feel bad for those kids that stood up for themselves and got beat down but what would you want them to do, not stand up for themselves from fear that they might get hurt? I don't really know what you are getting at anyway since you haven't posted a solution to the problem and all you have done so far is say I'm incorrect and ignorant. So can you tell me how I'm incorrect if my solution did infact work? Also how am I ignorant if I know for a fact that my solution worked?

No sir nobodies problems are bad enough to end their life, if I am wrong then name me a few problems that are worth ending your life, please do it.

So sir since you are "informed" on this matter then why don't you enlighten everyone with your wealth of knowledge on the subject instead of calling me ignorant and incorrect.

Have a nice day.

 

[One Punch Doug Crashin]

Sometimes violence IS the answer when it comes to bullying. I can tell you MANY times where that worked and I had gotten respect for it. I've maybe gotten into ONE fight and that was in middle school when this idiot kept wanting to fight me (keep in mind I have a martial arts background). needless to say I won that fight. Sometimes just a HEY CUT IT OUT OR I"M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE works.

 

[rgdestroyer]

bullying made me who I use to be and how I use to act.

 

[Mitch Henessey]

I was bullied constantly during my school years as a kid. From Elementary school all the way to high school, I was picked on by a lot of people. I was always quiet, and didn't like to talk to other people. If I wasn't quiet, then I was weird or very nerdy, but more people felt the need to pick on me because I was an oddball.Heck, people still go out of their way to get under my skin now. There were plenty of times where I would pull stunts(fake being sick, lie about an injury, etc.) just so I wouldn't have to go to school and deal with bullies. Sometimes I would stand up for myself, and some times I would just take the hazing.

I would get pissed off, and harbor a lot of anger at times, but I never considered suicide. Sure, I considered giving up, and shutting myself out from the world, but I never thought about suicide. There are just some people in this world that will get in your face, and try to piss you off as much as they can. Some people get a kick out of torturing others. It's just one of those things you have to deal with in life whether you like it or not. You just have to suck it up, and keep going.

Committing suicide at a young age or any age for that matter is no answer. Killing yourself is a victory for your tormentors if you ask me. You should either deal with the situation the best way you can or just try to ignore those people and keep going on with your life.

 

[SalvIsWin]

No clearly I don't because I am not some children, I am myself so I only know what I went through and how I dealt with it.

No popping someone in the mouth won't work 100% of the time, nothing works 100% of the time. Again I'm giving my opinion on how to deal with the matter because it is how I did it and it worked for me.

I'm also not trying to solve everyones problems I'm just giving my opinion on how to solve it for the person being bullied, not the next kid, but maybe if the bully gets the same reaction from everyone that they bully then they will learn to stop.

No I don't recall any of those stories but I'm sure that they have happened. I feel bad for those kids that stood up for themselves and got beat down but what would you want them to do, not stand up for themselves from fear that they might get hurt? I don't really know what you are getting at anyway since you haven't posted a solution to the problem and all you have done so far is say I'm incorrect and ignorant. So can you tell me how I'm incorrect if my solution did infact work? Also how am I ignorant if I know for a fact that my solution worked?

No sir nobodies problems are bad enough to end their life, if I am wrong then name me a few problems that are worth ending your life, please do it.

So sir since you are "informed" on this matter then why don't you enlighten everyone with your wealth of knowledge on the subject instead of calling me ignorant and incorrect.

Have a nice day.

There is no easy solution to the problem, that was my entire point. I was mostly responding to this:

Violence is the answer.

Violence is an answer, sure. One that can lead to a bully backing off, or a bully zoning in on you even more, because it's now shown that it really gets to you, or maybe the bullies will beat that person and wind up accidentally killing them. All of those have happened.

There is no easy solution to dealing with bullies. This is a social issue, one that a lot of parents and adults don't take seriously. I hate the adage, "Boys will be boys", as if that excuses the behaviour, and I have met with a lot of parents who hold this point of view. Parents need to first of all teach their children that bullying is unacceptable, and schools need to take an extremely firm stance on the issue. Too many schools are soft on this issue, with some schools even punishing for 'squealing or ratting out'.

As far as the girl commiting suicide because of bullying, I think that is a cowardly way to go and I'm sure that there is more to the story than just bullying. I recently had a close friend of mine commit suicide and it still doesn't change how I feel on the subject, I know he had problems but nobodys problems are bad enough to end their life, especially not being picked on by kids at school.

I wrote most of what I did because of this statement. You clearly don't have any idea what a lot of children have to go through, so I wanted to make that clear. You making the victim a coward, and that's unacceptable. I've seen countless cases of a child being bullied, far worse than you ever had it (from your own account in this thread I am judging), and the schools refused to really step in. The bully would have to apologize, or they would be given a lecture.

So sir since you are "informed" on this matter then why don't you enlighten everyone with your wealth of knowledge on the subject instead of calling me ignorant and incorrect.

I've done that to the best of my ability with out writing a huge wall of text that no one would really be interested in reading. The best I can do is show why your point of view isn't appropriate. This is all just casual conversation, so I doubt highly you're truly interested in learning about what needs to be done in order to curb these incidents. I don't mean that as an insult in any way, but if you are genuinely interested in a deep understanding of the subject I can provide links to APA peer-reviewed papers.

Committing suicide at a young age or any age for that matter is no answer. Killing yourself is a victory for your tormentors if you ask me. You should either deal with the situation the best way you can or just try to ignore those people and keep going on with your life.

I fully agree just to be clear. Committing suicide isn't a solution that any victim should feel is their best one, and it's a sad state of affairs when this is the case.