Built to Fail.

[GI Cake]

So as of 30 minutes ago from when I post this. I have just ended the last relationship I will most likely be in for the reminder of the year. I don't know if there is something installed in my D.N.A that makes me try to see the best out of any girl I have any real interest in dating. This marks the third girl I have broken up with because of the girl cheating on me, which makes me wonder several questions. "Is it something that I'm doing?" or "Am I only attracted to cheaters and ****es?"

When I am in a relationship, I try and do the best I can do as any boyfriend would do. I take time out of my day and during class I text and talk. I also do my best to try to let her know that I am open to listen if she is willing to do the same. And at my worst, I tell her my feelings.

I can admit, I am a classic "guy's guy." I love sports, video games, T.V, wrestling (duh) I work out on a daily basis and I am studying in college so I can become a Firefighter. Despite the busy and hectic life-style, I do my best to find time for girls and they always end up breaking my trust one way or the other.

That is when I come to think that I am not simply made to be in a relationship. Nothing more, nothing less. I feel that the more I try the harder it gets for me to be in a stable relationship and I shouldn't seek nothing more but a physical connection and not an emotional one. My past relationships never worked for me. And with my taste in woman it looks like it will stay that way for a long time.


Here are my questions for you.


Do you think some people are "Built to Fail" when it comes to relationships?

What do you think is the main cause for people who are "Built to Fail?"

 

[Paralyzer Z]

Do you think some people are "Built to Fail" when it comes to relationships?

It is a possibility and I can tell you from experience. It also depends on what you mean by relationships "girlfriends, Best friends, or family? Anyway I am going assume you mean all 3. People that are built to fail when it comes to a relationships usually have a scarred past when it comes to social interaction. There is a psychological disorder called Aspergers than the person has trouble reading and recognizing others emotions. This makes relationships difficult to maintain for them. Another case that can lead to being built to fail is just plain having a lack of developing trust and intimacy issues. A great example of people that are built to fail in relationships are both my best friend and I. People find it funny that I have never had a girlfriend at the age of only 15. That surprises me and yet does not as well because I saw kids in those types of relationships around 12 years old. Both of us are awkward on a regular basis and even more with the opposite sex. I have a hard time coming up with a response from a confrontation. Does that make me stupid? No I am an advanced student it is just that some people are deprived of that ability. How they are will be answered in the second question.

What do you think is the main cause for people who are "Built to Fail?"
As I said before the lack of interaction or ability to easily read someones emotions during a conversation. Things such as Aspergers or being shy and awkward most likely will lead to bad relationships. In your case it may be just not knowing what girls want. That is the most common of them all. I was built to fail in relationships and thus I perused other interest such as knowing a lot of useless trivia about things like Godzilla and DragonBall Z. I do not desire a relationship right now so I do not really care what the opposite sex (females) think of me a the moment. Whether that is long term remains to be seen.

 

[Dagger Dias]

Nobody is "built to fail" and it saddens me when anyone would ever think that way about themselves because we as human beings are meant to have companionship. "They were created male and female". Two genders exist for the purpose of relationships, otherwise we would all be "its" rather than guys or girls. I have been there. I used to think I would never find a woman who not only respects me as a person but was also worthy of my trust. It is tough to deal with. What you need to do is take a long look at what exactly you want from the women you date. Are you looking for friends with benefits, a serious relationship, or a potential wife? Then go about coming up with criteria you'll look for in her and any of your "deal breakers" after that.

As for them betraying your trust.... Do not be too open with what you share with the women you date. Let her earn your trust. Personal matters should be saved for a serious relationship. Until that point, be mysterious and slowly let them know more about you. You'll attract more attention if they are curious as to what type of person you are. Then the more of your trust she earns, the more layers of your personality you can share with her.

The main cause for people thinking they are "built to fail" is poor self esteem. I went to college with a guy who to this day still posts daily emo facebook statuses about how he hates his life and how he wants to die. True story. He also complains about how his friends are mostly spoken for and the first time he met my wife he ran out the door to start bawling his brains out while my other friends had a fun time hearing about our Vegas wedding. People like that suffer from what's called a Self Fulfilled Prophecy. He tells himself he is worthless and no one will ever like him, which makes people not like him when they did to begin with. It works both ways though. Tell yourself that your princess IS out there, and one day when the time is right, you WILL find her. Don't be like my old classmate. You are NOT "built to fail". If you are religious, then prayer can be a significant help as well.

I'd be happy to give you more advice within private messages, if you'd like.

 

[Ultra Awesome]

No one can actually be built to fail. Saying that is like saying there is destiny and all of our lives are pre-determined on some written document. This assumption is false. However, you, as a person, can think you are going to fail, do nothing about it, and then fail. Notice the difference has to do with what you think and your actions reflecting those thoughts.

What you suffer from is nothing more than low-esteemed negative composition. Past experiences have made you come up with a fallacical conclusion that can simply be rationalized logically as it just being 'all in your head.'

Don't let yourself fall in love with EVERY girl you meet (which seems to be the case from what you say); instead, play the cool guy and have fun. You said you are in college(?)--Why you looking for serious relationships?--Party, get drunk, have sex. That's what you should be doing. Enjoy life, brahh. Don't let it make you emo.