Sean Valjean
Lets Bitch About This Thing We Love
The Mario Kart series is one of the most beloved franchises in gaming. It introduced the kart racer sub-genre and provided a more chaotic and care-free alternative to the more serious and realistic racing simulators. While remaining enjoyable through the years, the winning formula hasn’t changed too much over the years and it's about time to take that worn out old kart in for a tune-up. In my new feature, I’ll examine this fan-favorite and make a list of some improvements and new ideas that I’d love to see applied to the series going forward.
All-Star Cast: The line-up for the Mario Kart games is good, but we can always do better. It’s time to take it to the next gear, so to speak. How about a cast in the vein of Super Smash Bros featuring characters from other games such as Fox McCloud, Kirby, or Sonic? In addition to beefing up the line-up, the new characters would also have their own track dedicated track adding some fresh courses to a tired tracklist. Imagine speeding through loop de loops in Green Hill Zone or maybe a sky track composed of moving ships from Star Fox. They could even call the game “Mario Kart: All-Stars” to exemplify the improved roster. Either that, or “The Expendables: Mario Kart”. Actually, I really wish that last one could happen.
Making Some Coin The original Super Mario Kart had coins that littered the race field that you collect to gain points. I say bring that back, but the coins will act as currency to buy new kart parts such as different tires or a better engine or unlock special power-ups at the store menu. In addition to scattering individual coins, there would also be a coin power-up or box that would contain a wealth of coins in order to amass more money quicker. I’ve heard tell that the upcoming Mario Kart 3DS may implement a system very similar to this. Let’s hope that speculation proves factual.
The Return of Double Dash: Mario Kart Double Dash is by far my favorite entry in the series because of its innovative and entertaining tag team racing. Having you drive and a buddy dish out the punishment was insanely fun and I’ve long been baffled that Nintendo hasn’t returned to this formula since. I say it’s time to bring it back as an option when setting up races in both racing and versus modes. If you want to get really ambitious, there could even be Chrono Trigger-style combination special moves depending on who’s in your cart. With a roster as diverse as this, who knows what crazy attack we’d see flying down the racetrack.
Faster Re-Spawns!: The only thing more frustrating than careening off the edge of a track is waiting for the Lakitu (that cloud-riding turtle dude) to SLOWLY fish you out and return you to the track. This infuriatingly sluggish re-spawn system can send you from the head of the pack to the back of the line at the blink of an eye. It’s time for that to change. Modnation Racers and Blur employ an instant re-spawn system that have you back in the race in no time while dropping at the most two or three spots. It’s high time for our cloud-cruising friend to get his ass in gear and do the same.
Make-Your-Own Cups: Cups are a great way of playing through a bunch of tracks without having to worry about picking new ones. For some dumb reason, Mario Kart Wii eliminated this by having you choose your own stages for a cup. It was good because it let you shape your own tournament, but you had to return to the menu after each race to choose a new track, which was tiresome. I say we have the best of both worlds and have a cup system that you could create and save, allowing you to form your own personal track list.
Deeper Versus Mode: The battle mode eliminates the racing in favor of a more Twisted Metal style arena battles. As a big fan of car combat in general, this mode has always been a draw for me. I’d love to see this mode further expanded by giving it its own campaign mode. Like Twisted Metal, you’d take your character thought a series of stages, complete with huge, destructible environments, eliminating all other adversaries to progress to the next. At the end of each stage, you’d have to face a boss fight. The haunted house area would have you battle King Boo, while the smaller boos fly at you as you weave in and out of their flock. The final battle could having you battling Bowser in a sky fortress kart with Bullet Bills and cannon fire everywhere.
Power-Up Control: Tired of that dumb lighting cloud or terrifying blue shell? This feature would allow you to determine what weapons appear in a race and how frequently. Maybe I want a race of all red shells or a combo of just lightning and the giant mushroom. The ridiculous imbalance and ensuing chaos would be a lot of fun and a great option for players who just want to screw around with each other.
Track Editor: One big trend in recent racers is the addition of a track editor, allowing you to create and sometimes share your own courses. With a robust editor, I could create a less wimpy Mushroom, an even more dastardly Rainbow Road or something new entirely. You can even organize creations into their own Cup. And with the ability to share your creations with other players, the replay value becomes nearly limitless and you’ll be blazing new tracks long after you’ve completed your tenth run through the Special Cup.
So that about does it for my Ultimate Mario Kart. Do you agree or disagree with any of the changes suggested? What would you do with the series?
