Austin Impersonator

[Uncle Sam]

Celebrity news site TMZ is reporting that police offers are currently searching for a man who claimed to be WWE legend Stone Cold Steve Austin and was selling autographs at an Indiana Wal*Mart for $10 a pop.

The incident took place at in Greensburg, Indiana. A man claiming to be Steve Austin's manager booked the appearance and dozens of Stone Cold fans paid to have pictures and merchandise signed.

Wal*Mart employees reportedly became suspicious when fake Austin and his "manager" showed up in broken down car.

I got your man:

 

[Monkey_Mania]

"Oh Shell Yeah"

 

[klunderbunker]

Does anybody around here, have some cold clam juice?

 

[Afro-Ameri-Spawn]

You can take that untrue story, turn that son of a fish sideways, and shove right up your bass! And that's the fishing lii-iiinnnne, cuz Sharkboy said so! lol

 

[Uncle Sam]

You should parody Austin as a profession, man. You are so awesome.

 

[Afro-Ameri-Spawn]

I do. Every time I sit on the toilet, I pretend that I am Owen Hart doing that sick piledriver on Austin. Of course, the turd pretends to be Austin in that one. lol

 

[klunderbunker]

It wins a championship?

 

[Uncle Sam]

That turd could have had a much longer career if it weren't for you. If only Jonny wouldn't imprison me for making a tasteless Owen Hart joke, I would so make one.

 

[klunderbunker]

Just remember: IT IS NOT A NUGGET

 

[Afro-Ameri-Spawn]

It wins a championship?

Yup. Same way Austin did. With the exact same shit he cloned for many years later. lol

 

[Afro-Ameri-Spawn]

That turd could have had a much longer career if it weren't for you. If only Jonny wouldn't imprison me for making a tasteless Owen Hart joke, I would so make one.

Oh wait, mine was a tasteless AUSTIN joke. Whew. lol

 

[klunderbunker]

As long as it doesn't sell thousands of tshirts, I'm happy.

 

[Papa Shango]

Doesn't even matter it's a turd, it could outdraw Matt Hardy every day of the week.

 

[Uncle Sam]

He's on ECW, right?

 

[Papa Shango]

Yes, sir. When I found out, I lol'd... out loud.

 

[Uncle Sam]

You laughed out loud out loud. That shit is HARDCORE!

 

[Papa Shango]

I literally said "Lolololololol" to noone in particular. You pick up weird habits when you're a theatre major.

 

[Uncle Sam]

That's... queer.

 

[Monkey_Mania]

Yeah. Thespians. They sleep with each other.

 

[Papa Shango]

That's... queer.

Yes, it is strange... and not gay.

Yeah. Thespians. They sleep with each other.

What's your point?

I actually am a certified thespian, btw. I am a pin-wearing member of the International Thespian Society. I hold their highest rankings, International Honor Thespian, and member of the Gold Circle of the Mask, two acheivements which are accumulated by 1% of the society's entire embodiment.

So again, what's your point?

 

[Monkey_Mania]

What's your point?

I actually am a certified thespian, btw. I am a pin-wearing member of the International Thespian Society. I hold their highest rankings, International Honor Thespian, and member of the Gold Circle of the Mask, two acheivements which are accumulated by 1% of the society's entire embodiment.

So again, what's your point?

None at all. It merely a joke. I was a thespian in my high school. We had a running gag about who was sleeping with who.

 

[Papa Shango]

Oh. Well... everybody, duh. Everyone knows that thespians do it on stage.

 

[Monkey_Mania]

Yeah I had a good time with it. I was decent but I neverwent and got certified. I was more interested in music.

 

[Papa Shango]

Well, your high school has to have an official troupe registered with the Society in order to be officially recognized as an official thespian. Then you have to work a certain amount of theatre hours and credits. Then you have to accept the invitation. Also, technically, there has to be at least one person from your troupe who is willing to sponsor your initiation, otherwise it's obvious you're not welcomed by the troupe and are denied entry into that particular troupe. But at my school, if noone volunteered, someone was forced to initiate an unpopular inductee. It's good for appearances to have as many initiates as possible, so even the annoying people who didn't actually give any effort got in.

 

[Monkey_Mania]

Yeah we have an official troupe number. Don't remember what it is. I was only in a couple of plays and three musicals. I got the big roles in musicals because I am musically inclined with my voice. As far as the other plays. I was supporting cast. It was good times but I wouldnt go out of my way to act anymore. Learning lines is fucking hard.