Cougar: A travesty of travesties I tell you! Management has tried to undercut me time and time again but this is the lowest. What in blue hell was Bateman thinking?
Stacey: What are you cackling about?
The camera pans out to a back stage change room where Showtime David Cougar and Stacey Madison are alone in. Stacey is applying her makeup.
The nerve of that man Bateman. It's one thing to make me have to put my Mayhem title up on the line against Milenko, the man I double crossed after I promised him I would hand him over my Mayhem title, but to also make me put up my number 1 contendership for the EurAsian title is absurd. What is Milenko putting up? His career? No. His sanity? Already flown the coup. I am the one who is putting everything on the line here. Milenko loses NOTHING!.... But then again he's losing often lately...
No I mean why are you here telling me this? I'm not interviewing you. I got three interviews today and let me tell you I'm not the one doing the interviewing in all three.
First of all, I don't do interviews. Too often the female interviewers just can't seem to keep their hands off me. Fun times yes, but too often I have angry bosses, boyfriends, and husbands coming after me so you can see my point. Second, the only reason I'm even here is because I have 5 minutes to kill before the start of my show and backstage to my show is right through that door, and third, you are the only person I know in the 500 meter radius of this place that eats her lunches alone, always, so I figured you'd be the one person that wouldn't be talking to someone right now.
Stacey stops what she's doing and stares at the mirror. Tears well-up in her eyes, but she is able to hold them back. She sniffs.
Don't you eat your lunches on your set.
The studio people work around me.
There is a long pause. Both turn their heads away and look down, suddenly aware of how lonely their lives can get.
I'm sorry. Please continue.
Milenko I saw coming. I saw that belt, and greed... it's like a drug. I had to have it and I knew he'd be next in line to try and take it, but I hit him anyway. But to put my number 1 contendership and the final spot in the two fall triple threat match at All or Nothing is bull shit. Management is always trying to screw me over, but it's only so they can line their pockets cause they know when the stakes are high with or against the me, the ratings shoot straight to the top. The viewers love pressure and they love to watch me defy the odds.
So what are you going to do about Milenko?
Milenko, I'm not afraid of. He's lost 6 straight matches. He's making my Winnipeg Blue Bombers look like contenders. He's going to give the Detroit Lions a run for their record. Sergio Gracia will have an easier time winning a major before Milenko wins his next match. What I'm saying is he's going to lose at Ascension. I'm going to give Milenko a crash course in winning, only he's going to be learning by watching... me pinning him... 1, 2, 3.
So... if your not worried at all about losing your match to Milenko then why are you bitching and complaining?
Showtime smiles and leans closer to Stacey.
Just wanted to see if you liked me.
He smiles wider and raises his eye balls up and down and laughs.
Ughhh, David. No way. I don't date wrestlers. Filthy pugs. I date men, real men. Not princesses in tights.
Hmm, that's funny though, because I don't date ****es... but I'm willing to make an exception with you.
Stacey goes to slap David, but he swings his head back and laughs. He starts to head over to the door, but then pauses and turns around.
Wait a minute. Go back to that bit of rage you had.
What, why?
I'm about to go in there and give an emotionally charged epic monologue about how I'm going to destroy Milenko, and I need to get angry and fired up, and since you killed my rage I had when I got here... I want you to slap me.
What? No I'm not going to slap you.
But... you just tried to slap me a minute ago.
Yea well you pissed me off then.
Well pretend I pissed you off then.
Oh greaaat Showtime. Your going to have do better than that.
Look women if you don't slap me right now I'm going to tell you how fat your butt...
Stacey slaps him across the face.
What the hell was that!? You barely hit me.
I hit you and I'll do it again if you ever say that. Never go there.
Dear God, look... I want you to hit me as hard as you can, ok, hit me. HIT ME!!!
Stacey rears backs a slaps him across the face and for good measure slaps him back the other way. David grabs Stacey by the arms and stands her up.
We are going to have amazing sex one day.
David pushes Stacey into the couch back where she flips over and lands out of sight.
Never ask a women to do what a man's gotta do.
David grabs a nearby Kendo stick and cracks himself over the head with hit. He proceeds to swing at anything else in the room until he finally breaks the stick. Finally, raged up, he exits the room and marches with a purpose towards the stage. Stage crew walk beside him handing him his title belt, another Kendo stick, pouring some water in his mouth and brushing the dust off his shoulders from the prior room ruckus. Standing in the middle of the stage is a dummy that very closely resembles Milenko. Showtime enters stage left, drops the title belt, and takes a vicious swing at the dummies head. He rips off his suit jacket and grabs a mic sitting on the counter.
Miiiilllllllenkoooooo.
Showtime drops the mic and continues to swing at the dummy. He can be heard verbally taunting the dummy in between shoots. Finally, the stick snaps. Showtime takes the broken end and shoves it in the side of Milenko's neck. He picks up the Mayhem title and puts it over his shoulder and picks up the mic and faces the dummy.
Sorry, I came out too strong there. I totally freaked out on you and now look... you got something sticking out the side of you. It looks gross, but don't worry about it, when you pull a 180 degree character change like I just did, like you do, you don't even notice things like that.
And that is just your problem Milenko. You have no idea who you even really are anymore. You've become panic stricken. At a loss about what to blame for your recent string of loses. So you've inwardly turned on yourself and blamed yourself for these loses and have now created what you believe to be another persona. No Milenko, it's not someone else talking out of your mouth, it's just you, you and you alone are to blame for your loses and your misfortune and the sad truth of it all is simply that you're crazy. You should be locked up, examined by multiple shrinks, and eat all your meals out of sectioned trays with plastic forks. You of all people don't deserve to be a champion in WZCW. You don't posses the look of a champion, you don't have the mind set of a champion, and most of all, you can't even win a match anymore.
The Show is riding high as the Mayhem champion and still the number 1 contender for the EurAsian title and Milenko I plan on staying as both when we lock horns at Ascension. Milenko last Meltdown after I won the belt and looked at myself holding it I knew that I couldn't just hand the belt over to a split personality double sided chronic loser like yourself. So I went swinging for the fences and just like I did to this dummy of you I'm going to do the same to you at Ascension. We are about to usher a new age in the Mayhem division. For the first time, a champion with class, a champion with style, a champion who wouldn't need a table, a chair, a piece of glass, fire extinguisher or 10 foot ladder to defeat his opponents, but could defeat them with speed, mat work, and good wits. But that won't stop me from using the aforementioned weapons whenever is necessary.
Showtime smiles and walks off the stage and returns right away with a steel chair.
You see Milenko, while my disapproval of weapons is known, that won't stop me from using them whenever I decide to put you down.
Showtime swings hard at the dummy and knocks its head right off its shoulders.
Milenko this is me tasting championship gold and it's something that I won't let you take away from me. I was destined to be a champion in this company and my destiny has finally arrived and you will not be the one to end it. Milenko I know that Mayhem fighting is your calling card but that won't stop me as beat you silly in the ring and then smash your crocked little face into any bit of metal, wood, or any blunt insturment I get my hands on. Milenko I will beat one of your personalities so bad the other one is going to feel it for weeks. Your record will continue 0-7 in your last 7 and The Show will once again show why he is the fasting rising young athlete in this company today. I will be the one going on to All or Nothing where I will successfully defend my Mayhem title and become EurAsian champion as well. And you will probably lose one again to Rush, or Sanna, or hell maybe even Leon Kentsworth. With your luck I'd put money on Kentsworth.
Ladies and Gentleman I am the Show, your Mayhem Champion and Milenko you are a deadman come Ascension. Good night everybody.
