AS51: Action Saxton vs. James Howard

[Viola Moonlight]

With Saboteur and Saxton defeating the Tag Team champions, they've been named the number one contenders at Redemption and will face Strikeforce for the titles. In preparation for the event, both teams will be split this week to compete in singles match against each other. Whoever takes the victories here will definitely be carrying the momentum through to the PPV.

Deadline is Tuesday, July 10th at 11:59 PM Central Time.​

 

[Shotaro]

The dressing room door bounced back off the wall, it had been opened with some force and after hitting the painted breeze-block wall returned to its starting position slamming shut with a thud. The sound of laminated card twisting against itself as it fell to the floor soon followed sliding to a stop half inside the dressing room half out, looking at the floor the phrase “Strikef” clearly visible complete with half of an ‘o.’

“Unbelievable” I shouted as the door slammed behind myself and Mikey. “That Referee should be fired. Was Saxton even the legal man? Since he didn’t disqualify Saboteur I assumed he was the legal man.”

“I’m pretty sure Saxton was legal man, I don’t remember seeing a tag.”

“How could you? Saboteur had dropeed you to the outside.” The door received a fist this time, a sharp contrast to the kick that had opened it before. The wood cracked a little around my knuckles, it felt good. “I swear those guys only win matches because of the chaos they cause around them. I’m amazed they haven’t been fired yet the amount of stupid stuff they seem to do. The thing that really pisses me off is that the crowd love them for it.”

I throw myself down onto the bench, sizing up other inanimate objects as potential victims of my rage. “I’ve spent fifteen years training to fight. This has been my life since I was a teenager. I’ve never lost before. No-one has ever bested me in the ring and what just happened out there wasn’t fighting, it was ludicrous. Those two clowns beat us, beat me, I wouldn’t care if I’d gone down against someone like Showtime, even against a former champion like Kurtesy or Dave, but to go down to a seventies throw back and a poor man’s Deadpool is ju~”

Stormrage lit up with glee “You do listen to me. I told you he was like Deadpool.” I shot him a glare that made my eyes sting. “But yeah – that ending was crap. Rumour has it we’re taking them on in singles matches next week. You got Saxton, I’m taking on Saboteur”

“Good” I smiled on one side of my face, relishing the prospect of proving myself against Saxton. “He wants chaos and confusion? I’ll hit him so hard he won’t remember his own name.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” my partner had a concerned look on his face, he knew the reality, he knew that I needed to not just beat Saxton, I needed to hurt him. “I mean, I agree, but given your past aren’t you worried Ty will just fire you?”

“When I’m done with Action Saxton, Ty Burna will be too scared to fire me.” I was yelling. I was angry, anger was good, anger made me sharper in the ring, more brutal, I would be able to unleash it on my next opponent. As soon as the words left my mouth there was a knock at the door. Chuck Myles entered with a face so contorted with rage he looked like a movie villain. Mikey saw the writing on the wall and scarpered, I knew he wanted to talk to me.

“Where the hell do you get off? Stomping around backstage like a child who lost his toy. I could’ve expected it from your man-child of a tag partner but I thought you were a professional. I hired you because you assured me your past was behind you.”

I could feel the anger building as my right hand balled into a fist.

“Don’t even think about hitting me Howard.” The look in his eyes made me realise he was serious. “You hit me and all of your ill-gotten gains will belong to me. Comprende? If you hit me I will own you. If you want to hit something then you do that in the ring, if I hear about you damaging property that is not your own backstage again you will be fired, that belt around your waist won’t protect you. Look at what Ty did to Black Dragon, he lost his title because Ty felt like it and if I fire you right now no-one will miss you for one second. Hell, the guys you’re defending against at Redemption are far more popular than Strikeforce anyway, it won’t be a loss to me seeing two rookies lose the belts to two guys who’ve proven they can draw.”

Myles was right. Mikey and I had been going out there and feeding off the crowds cheers. Now we were fighting Saxton and Saboteur those cheers were dwindling, we couldn’t maintain it at Redemption the crowd would be hostile. “Fine Chuck, I’m going, but this?” I motioned at the crack in the door and the handle that had bent against the brickwork. “This is nothing compared to what I’m going to do to that blacksploitation fool next week. I don’t lose fights and next week I won’t be wrestling Saxton, I’ll be fighting him.”

I grabbed my bag and headed straight out of the arena. I passed Saboteur on the way out, he tried to talk to me but I walked on past him. Mikey was waiting at the car. “You ready to go?”

“Yep”

“Then let’s get out of here, you might need the protective gear when we train this week. I’ve got a lot of venting to do.” The car doors slammed shut as we sped away from the arena.

 

[The Doctor]

Signal Panic, Inc. presents
Action Saxton
in
"Party In The WY!"

Wyoming. Big Wonderful Wyoming, the cowboy state. It’s a state that’s oft overlooked by many Americans, possibly because it doesn't actually exist, but is one of the most beautiful states in the Union. It’s home to the world famous Yellowstone National Park, miles upon miles of the Rocky Mountains, and was named after an old ITalian word meaning 'No State Here'. Don't believe me? It was on the news.

Hundreds of feet taller than any other man made structure in all of Wyoming stands Saboteur and/or Saxton Tower, home of Saxton and Saboteur Enterprises. It’s a normal day at the office in that there’s really not much business going on. The company has no direction and is being run by two gentlemen who are much more interested in professional wrestling than fiscal earnings. For now, the tower really just acts as one giant playroom for the duo, being used for whatever whim Saboteur and Action Saxton decide to act on.

Fortunately, there is one soul in the tower that means business, and that is Saboteur’s best friend, roommate, and kidnapping victim: Garrett. Garrett walks down the hall with purpose, carrying some very important documents and muttering under his breath.

"I need to get signatures from both of them, and Action Saxton's office is closer. I don't know why they had to put both of their offices so high up, though..."

He huffs and puffs as he climbs stair after stair. In the distance, he can hear muffled funk music. In fact, the further he climbs, the harder the ground shakes with the sound of the bass. Finally, the slightly portly fellow enters the hallway where Action Saxton's office is. The ground underneath him shakes violently, causing him to nearly lose his footing several times. The important paperwork in his hands is threatening to do a triple somersault out of the nearest window. Garrett is a soldier traveling the harshest of the harsh terrain as he slowly makes his way to the large oak door, draws his hand back, and knocks three times just under the 'No Popular Latin Singers Allowed' sign.

After a few moments, the door creaks open, causing Garrett to be blown back by the loud and proud crooning of the Godfather of Soul. As he struggles to his feet, he looks up into the face of the Badass Brother himself, Action Saxton.

"Garrett!" Saxton exclaims. "What brings you to my office, sucka?"

"Well," Garrett starts, but stops as he catches a glimpse of what is happening behind Action Saxton. "...Are you having an office party?"

Action Saxton laughs good-naturedly, glancing back at the hordes of beautiful women shimmying and shaking underneath the large disco ball on the ceiling.

"Naw, sucka," he replies. "This isn't an office party. This is a party in my office!"

Garrett looks a little put out.

"Why wasn't I invited?"

Action Saxton looks at Garrett, incredulously.

"Sucka," he says with the voice of a mother telling their child they'll always be number one in their heart, "I thought you didn't like parties. And anyway, you ain't exactly the life of 'em."

Garrett puffs out his chest, looking indignant.

"I so am!" he exclaims. "People love my dance moves!"

He gently places the important paperwork against a wall. He starts to nod his head, trying to feel the beat of the song. All the beautiful women in Action Saxton's office watch him with interest as he starts to snap a finger in time. Action Saxton is looking impressed at Garrett's ability to keep rhythm.

Suddenly, Garrett seizes the back of his head with his right hand and the right leg with his left and starts violently bringing them towards and away from each other. He spins around three times and starts to move his arms wildly in every direction. He places both hands in front of him and starts jiggling wildly. Action Saxton gapes and the women start to giggle, but Garrett isn't done yet.

He places his hands on his hips and starts gyrating wildly. After a few moments he drops to the floor and starts doing the worm before rolling over and doing the worm on his back. Finally, he does a headstand and spins around three more times before attempting a cartwheel and hitting the back wall.

As he lays there, clutching his head, Action Saxton stares. The women stare. It's entirely possible that God himself is staring at Garrett right at this very moment.

And then, the women laugh. Garrett looks upset as he retrieves the tag team match contracts and shoves them into Action Saxton's hands. Action Saxton looks at Garrett with something that may be pity.

"C'mon, sucka, don't feel down," he says, withdrawing a pen the size of the Great Wall of China from his pocket. "I thought you were damn good. If nothin' else, you made an impression. But there's only one rule in Saxton's Office, and that's if you want in, you impress the women. Can you dig it?"

Garrett nods glumly as Action Saxton signs his large loopy signature on the Redemption contract. He laughs as he hands the contract back to Garrett, who is still rubbing his head. Garrett takes it and shuffles off sullenly.

Action Saxton walks back into his office and shuts the door behind him. He surveys the beautiful women, delicious food, and large Ghetto Blaster with a smile on his face. He holds his hands out wide.

"Now, ladies," he announces. "Let's dance!"

But none of the ladies dance. They glare at Action Saxton for several moments.

"...Ladies? I know that my manly form is enough to render you helpless, but somehow I don't think this is the reason for your silence."

One woman steps forward.

"Action Saxton," she says, her voice suddenly dropping from a seductive soprano to a deep, unmistakeably male bass. "The only thing that will be helpless in this office will be you!"

On cue, every single lady rip off their lady disguises to reveal...

"Ninjas!" gasps Action Saxton. "How the hell did ninjas get inside Saxton Tower?"

"IT'S SABOTEUR TOWER!"

The ninjas and Action Saxton look around the office, confused. After a moment they set their eyes on each other again.

"Okay, suckas," says Saxton. "I'm only going to say this once, unless you need it repeated. I'm going to punch your fool heads so hard you'll look like a bunch of Greek statues that have been eroded by time!"

The ninjas look slightly confused. Action Saxton glares.

"The type of Greek statues that have no heads! Because I'm going to punch your heads the hell off!"

"Dude," says the lead ninja, pulling his mask off. "It's us, remember? Students of Master Chop Onion. We're here to help you train your kung-fu for your fight against James Howard."

Action Saxton thinks to himself. Of course, he had made this appointment so he could take down that angry punching sucka in a battle of fisticuffs and martial arts. While no one is more experienced in martial arts than the heat-packin', mackin', jive-talkin', walk-the-walkin' Action Saxton, even the best need to train some time. Master Chop Onion was happy to send some of his best pupils to sharpen up Action Saxton's abilities. But Action Saxton must have forgotten, as he was too busy enjoying this party in his office.

"All right, suckas," says Action Saxton, ripping his shirt off and reaching into his pants for his headband. "Mano a mano. If I can defeat you all, I'll be ready to take on Howard and kick his ass."

With loud screams, the ninja gang pounce. Action Saxton shucks, jukes, shimmies, and jives, hitting the ninjas with fists of fury. One tries to hit him with a bowl of onion dip, but Saxton manages to knock him down with a well timed boot to the gut. He seizes two ninjas and smashes their heads together. Finally, a huge karate chop send the last ninja flying over a table and crashing to the ground.

Action Saxton stands in the middle of the wreckage, eating a sandwich he took from the refreshments table.

"Listen up, suckas!" he barks in between bites. "You need to remember who I am - I am the baddest of the bad, the coolest of the cool, and the smoothest of the smooth. When you step into the ring with me, you suckas better watch out! Because Action Saxton is back in action and when you fight him there will be no relaxin'! Whether it's that groin-punchin' sucka himself, his fat friend, or both of them together it don't make me no nevermind. I will rise up and show them just what it means to be the biggest and the baddest and the most charismatic superstar in WZCW. Whether alone or with my brother Saboteur by my side, I am unstoppable.

Prepare yourself, Howard. You better be warned. When you mess with the bull, you be messin' with the horns.

Now can you dig that?"

He tosses the rest of the sandwich out of the window and strikes a pose. The scene fades.​