Part 1: The Part where Saboteur and Ricky meet.
Saboteur and Garrett walk into the club, dance music is blasting and the bass is pumping. There are hundreds of people in the club, and Ricky is nowhere to be seen.
Garrett: Wow! This place is great! Look at all these women!
Saboteur grumbles loudly.
Garrett: What are you so cranky about?
Saboteur: Stupid bouncer took my katanas away. I swear if there’s so much as a hair on my sheaths, I’ll slice him in half!
Garrett: I’m sure your swords will be fine. Okay, so I think before we start having too much fun we should go find Ricky and talk about your game plan for Accession… sound good?
Garrett looks around to find that Saboteur has disappeared.
Garrett: Sab? What the… where did he go?
Suddenly there’s a large commotion on the dance floor, and Garrett rushes over to check out what’s happening. Unsurprisingly, Saboteur has managed to find trouble with a Guido type with greasy, spiked black hair, a wife beater, and stone washed jeans that are fashionably ripped. Basically, he’s the biggest douchebag in the building.
Guido: Yo bro, watch where you’re going!
Saboteur: Hey, I’m not your bro, dude!
Guido: Whoa, I’m not your dude, bro!
Saboteur: I’m not your bro, dude!
Guido: I’m not your dude, bro!
Saboteur: I’m not your…
Garrett rushes in and put himself between Sabotuer and the Guido.
Garrett: Come on guys, we’re all just here to have a good time! Can’t we just settle this and get on with our nights?
Saboteur: You’re right… and we’re going to settle this right here... right now… with a DANCE OFF!
Guido: Yo bro, you just made a HUGE mistake. Hit it DJ!
The DJ starts playing the theme to The Jersey Shore. The Guido starts frolicking, jumping up and down, pumping his fist, and throws in a few flare moves to get the crowd going. The song wraps up and the crowd goes crazy for his fairly unimpressive but nonetheless enthusiastic dancing.
As the crowd starts to calm down Saboteur does a sarcastic slow clap.
Saboteur: Well done Mr. Guido, well done. But I think I can top it. DJ… HIT MY SONG!
A few seconds of silence pass. Everyone in the club looks over at the DJ who answers their questioning faces with a shrug, not knowing what he’s supposed to play.
Garrett: One second, I’ve got this.
Garrett runs over to the DJ and whispers in his ear. The DJ nods, throws a disk on the turntable, and Thriller blasts through the speakers.
The camera goes back to Saboteur, who is now wearing a red and black leather jacket over his costume and a Jerri Curl on top of his head. There are also about 20 generic looking professional wrestlers in tight blue trunks and brown mullets. Saboteur starts doing all of Michael Jackson’s moves along with the song. He’s nails all the kicks, slides, and he and his back up dancers pull off the Zombie perfectly.
The song ends up and Saboteur moonwalks across the bar and does a double back flip that plants him right back in front of the Guido in the middle of the dance floor.
The crowd immediately swarms Saboteur, now back in his regular costume, and cheers him, with many women sticking out napkins with their numbers on them.
Saboteur: Thank you! Thank you! Let’s hear it for Saboteur and The Jobbers!
The generic wrestlers simultaneously bow before walking out of the club in a single-file line.
Guido: Pffft, eff that bro, let’s do this thing for real.
The Guido shoves Saboteur sending him stumbling backwards. Saboteur does a back handspring to make it look smooth and then takes a knee and reaches towards his boot. He starts to draw a knife when he suddenly hears someone yelling.
“DON’T MESS WITH MY PARTNER, PARTNER!”
Out of seemingly nowhere, Ricky Runn flies through the crowd and hits the Guido with a lift-up dropkick, sending the Gudio flying backwards and crashing into the bar.
Ricky: Looks like drinks are on him tonight!
The entire club erupts in cheers and applause for the man of the hour, and they start cheering his name.
Crowd: RICKY RUNN! RICKY RUNN! RICKY RUNN! RICKY RUNN!
Ricky turns to Saboteur with a big smile on his face.
Ricky: Glad I could help you out there. You must be Saboteur!
Saboteur: Maybe I am, maybe I ain’t. Who the heck are you?
Crowd: Ricky Runn! Ricky Runn! Ricky Runn!
Ricky allows the crowd to continue chanting and looks at Saboteur.
Saboteur: Well?!?
Ricky: Uh, I’m Ricky Runn.
Saboteur: Hmm, I feel like I’ve heard that name before somewhere.
Part 2: The part where Ricky and Saboteur talk.
The camera pans past the bar where Garrett and Johnny Klamor are pounding shots and are surrounded by the beautiful people in attendance at Excalibur. The camera continues to move through the club until it focuses on Saboteur and Ricky whom are sitting at a private table on the second floor of the club on a balcony that overlooks the first floor.
Ricky: Man, I can’t believe it, just a few weeks ago I was just wandering around life aimlessly, looking for one cheap thrill after the next… but now I’m in WZCW. I can be a champion one day… I WILL be a champion one day. Ain’t life wonderful, Saboteur?
Saboteur: Yeah, whatever, so what is it you do exactly?
Ricky: What do I do? I have a good time!
Saboteur: I mean in the ring, what do you do to win wrestling matches?
Ricky: I told you man, I have fun! I fly from rope to rope until my opponents can’t even see straight because they’re too busy chasing me. I wear ‘em down with kicks and shots to the body and high flying moves, and then when my opponent is groggy, I put ‘em down with a little R&R from the top turnbuckle.
Saboteur: High flying, eh? Being able to do teh flippiez isn’t going to save you from East Nairobian Head Hunters or North Korean War Lords. What makes you think your jumping tricks are going to help us successfully steal the chaos emeralds from Doctor Robotnik?
Ricky: Uh… what?
Saboteur: Oh, wait, that’s a different plan I had. What were we talking about again?
Ricky: We were talking about wrestling. Do you need another refill on that?
Ricky picks up his empty glass along with Saboteur’s and waves over a pretty young waitress.
Ricky: Hey there darling, I’ll have a jack and coke, and what are you drinking, Sab?
Saboteur: I’ll have another one of those funky tasting apple juices you gave me.
The waitress looks puzzled and Ricky leans over to whisper in her ear.
Ricky: I told him that straight bourbon was apple juice just to calm him down for not having it at the bar. Just bring him another one of those and smile and say that it’s Mott’s.
The waitress smiles and leaves with their drink orders and Saboteur looks at her skeptically.
Saboteur: I don’t trust her, she could be a spy. We should bring her to the backroom and see what she knows about Scumm and Masters.
Ricky: Trust me, I’ll take her to a backroom later and she’ll tell me everything I want to hear, for now let’s just talk strategy.
Saboteur: Scumm will be easy, I beat him last week. His punches pack a wallop, and he knows a few tricky submissions, but a smart wrestler like myself knows exactly what it takes to beat him. Stick and move, don’t let him catch you in one of his holds or wind up and hit you with a big punch, and you won’t have any problems.
Ricky: Well that shouldn’t be a problem, I never stay in one place for more than a few heartbeats when I’m in the ring.
Saboteur: What about Masters? What do you know about him?
Ricky: He’s like Scumm, except quicker. Where Scumm takes his time to dissect an opponent and soften them up with big, measured strikes, Masters gets in there with quick jabs and then tries to lock on a submission to weaken a body part. He’ll let go if he sees it’s not effective, but he’ll be looking to lock another one on as soon as he lets go of the last one.
Saboteur: So he’s like Scumm… but faster?
Ricky: Up to a point. The guy smokes like a chimney, AND he’s got weak ribs. Between your martial arts and my ability to run circles around the guy without so much as stopping for a half second to take a breath… we got this one in the bag bro.
Saboteur: Hey! I’m not your… you know what, eff it, for this week, we are bros.
The waitress comes back and puts the drinks down on the table. Ricky smiles at her charmingly.
Ricky: Put those on my tab darling, you know the name.
Ricky winks and the waitress giggles and walks off, but not before looking back over her shoulder to make sure that Ricky was still looking at her, which he was.
Ricky turns around and looks at Saboteur as he raises his glass.
Ricky: Well Mr. Saboteur, here’s to a win at next week’s Accession! Cheers!
Saboteur: L’chaim!
Ricky takes a sip of his jack and joke, and puts the glass down on the table, but he can’t take his eyes off of Saboteur, who is chugging his straight bourbon as if it actually was apple juice. Saboteur drains every last drop out of the cup and then slams it on the table.
Saboteur: Ahhhh, that’s some good apple juice! I might have to have a few of those before our match on Sunday!
Ricky: I think maybe you should wait until after our match. Hell, if… when we win, we’ll have one together.
Saboteur stands up tall, and puts his hands on his hips.
Saboteur: So it will be told, on the 35th edition of Accession, the heroic Saboteur and his high flying sidekick Ricky Runn teamed up to defeat the disgusting duo of Johnny Scumm and Sam Masters in a most inspiring fashion. And then... they will have apple juice.
Ricky: That was nice dude… I’ll let you get away with calling me a sidekick this time, but do it again and I’ll make sure you never get any of that apple juice ever again.
The camera starts panning back in the opposite direction from where it came. Saboteur and Ricky continue to talk, the people continue to dance, and then we go back to the bar where Garrett and Johnny Klamor are surrounded by empty shot glasses, hugging each other, telling one another how great they are. The scene fades black.