Are You The Perfect Man?

[Y 2 Jake]

Not to be turned into a Will loves Becca thread.​

The perfect man must be:

* 5'11
* Good Looking
* 12.5 Stone
* Earn more than £30,000 a year
* Blue Eyes
* Dark Brown, Short Hair
* Medium Build
* BA Degree
* Never Been Married
* No Kids
* Three Previous Serious Relationships
* Clean-Shaven
* Drives A Silver Mercedes
* Enjoys Going To The Cinema
* Likes Eating Out
* Fewer Than 6 Sexual Partners
* Owns A £300,000 Home
* Doesn't Smoke
* Dislikes Football
* Likes Pets

 

[Luther_Hull]

This your list or one that you've found on the web?

 

[Y 2 Jake]

* 5'11

Too tall

* Good Looking

Oh yeah, got that one.

* 12.5 Stone

Too heavy.

* Earn more than £30,000 a year

Yup.

* Blue Eyes

Yup.

* Dark Brown, Short Hair

It was brown. Good job I shave it off, going grey already.

* Medium Build

I guess.

* BA Degree

Nope.

* Never Been Married

Bollocks

* No Kids

Sh's pretty small. I could pretend she isn't there.

* Three Previous Serious Relationships

3 exactly.

* Clean-Shaven

I'm clean-shaven when I shave.

* Drives A Silver Mercedes

I drive a white and rust coloured Transit.

* Enjoys Going To The Cinema

Fuck the cinema. £8 to go in a smelly room. Or I could wait for the DVD.

* Likes Eating Out

Eat out? Why? I have a kitchen, and I'm not afraid to use it.

* Fewer Than 6 Sexual Partners

I could probably only name 6. So yeah.

* Owns A £300,000 Home

What the fuck? Maybe in London. Not in Stoke.

* Doesn't Smoke

Smokings cool.

* Dislikes Football

Bollocks

* Likes Pets

I like my pets.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

This your list or one that you've found on the web?

Daily Star.

 

[Meilichia]

* 5'11 - I prefer taller...
* Good Looking - Depends what this sort of good looking means... I think tattoos and piercings are good looking, and facial hair is a must!
* 12.5 Stone - meh
* Earn more than £30,000 a year - I have expensive tastes... so more
* Blue Eyes - blue eyes are good...
* Dark Brown, Short Hair - I'm not a huge fan of short brown hair, it's alright, but long dread locks take my fancy...
* Medium Build - I have a thing for tall slim men... don't ask me why
* BA Degree - as long as they have money that doesn't bother me..
* Never Been Married - theres something about married men... no erm.. ignore that
* No Kids - that doesn't bother me...
* Three Previous Serious Relationships - that also doesn't bother me...
* Clean-Shaven - nope!
* Drives A Silver Mercedes - I can think of nicer cars... I also like bikes too
* Enjoys Going To The Cinema - Thats not a must really...
* Likes Eating Out - Neither is that
* Fewer Than 6 Sexual Partners or that....
* Owns A £300,000 Home - or that...
* Doesn't Smoke - That would just piss me off, I smoke... I hate people complaining about me smoking... so ... smokers are better
* Dislikes Football - I like football, so that doesn't bother me.
* Likes Pets - as long as its not dogs, they smell.

They got most of it wrong for me... but I do have weird taste...

 

[Y 2 Jake]

They got most of it wrong for me... but I do have weird taste...

You have great tastes.

 

[Lil Wes]

* 5'11 - I prefer taller...
* Good Looking - Depends what this sort of good looking means... I think tattoos and piercings are good looking, and facial hair is a must!
* 12.5 Stone - meh
* Earn more than £30,000 a year - I have expensive tastes... so more
* Blue Eyes - blue eyes are good...
* Dark Brown, Short Hair - I'm not a huge fan of short brown hair, it's alright, but long dread locks take my fancy...
* Medium Build - I have a thing for tall slim men... don't ask me why
* BA Degree - as long as they have money that doesn't bother me..
* Never Been Married - theres something about married men... no erm.. ignore that
* No Kids - that doesn't bother me...
* Three Previous Serious Relationships - that also doesn't bother me...
* Clean-Shaven - nope!
* Drives A Silver Mercedes - I can think of nicer cars... I also like bikes too
* Enjoys Going To The Cinema - Thats not a must really...
* Likes Eating Out - Neither is that
* Fewer Than 6 Sexual Partners or that....
* Owns A £300,000 Home - or that...
* Doesn't Smoke - That would just piss me off, I smoke... I hate people complaining about me smoking... so ... smokers are better
* Dislikes Football - I like football, so that doesn't bother me.
* Likes Pets - as long as its not dogs, they smell.

They got most of it wrong for me... but I do have weird taste...

All of that describes me. Now let me take you away into the sunset.

 

[Meilichia]

Why Jake? and Wes, do you have dreadlocks? I doubt that

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Why Jake? and Wes, do you have dreadlocks? I doubt that

I think were very compatible.

 

[Meilichia]

Despite you posting a Billy Gunn poll on here, that upset me Jake

 

[Y 2 Jake]

But baby, Billy sucks. You can like him, but I'm still going to take the piss out of you for it. You can take the piss out of me any time you want.

 

[Meilichia]

But it's mean Jakey You shouldn't ever take the piss out of me.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I take the piss out of everybody. Please feel free to take the piss out of me. I love it, but nobody ever does it.

 

[Meilichia]

Because I am a nice person, I only take the piss when I need to, or I am in a bad mood, and not to mention there really isn't much I can do to take the piss with you.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

There's plenty. Make something up.

 

[Meilichia]

Well I could take the piss out of the fact you are a balding, egotistical, womanizing, dictator. But see its just not good enough because they are probably compliments.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I'm not balding. I shave because I'm lazy. And I haven't womanized in weeks.

 

[Meilichia]

Well I don't care, you think Billy is shit, therefore I think your balding, old man... Thats about fair

 

[Y 2 Jake]

I guess. But only one of the things you said in that post was true. And it wasn't about my hairline.

 

[Meilichia]

No... Jake I'll get pissed off if you don't stop!

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Stop what?

 

[Meilichia]

Stop being mean ... about Billy Gunn... and just being mean in general.

Edit - And for giving me a red thingy, that just hurt my feelings

 

[TheOneBigWill]

How on earth was this NOT suppose to get turned into a Will/Becca love thread, when for the past two pages I've read nothing but Jake/Danielle love/hate fest?

Also, Danielle, for what its worth.. Jake has likely red repped everyone at one point or another. Once upon a time, he had a game with it. Also, that list doesn't even describe me.. I'll run it down in a moment.

 

[Lil Wes]

Did you ever see that green rep I gave you Danielle

 

[Meilichia]

I did Wes, thank you, I was going to rep you back, but it won't let me yet