An empty, poorly lit gymnasium. The hardwood floor has clearly been worn by the sands of time. An old looking wrestling ring stands in the middle of the gymnasium. Sitting on the apron is Hunter Kravinoff, dressed in a leopard print leotard. Seated next to him a striking blonde woman, dressed in paint on jeans and a low-cut white blouse. A portly, balding cameraman, dressed head to toe in black, is recording their conversation.
Hunter: Anita Dick was the first human woman I’d been physically close to since the death of my mother. And it saddens me that that moment passed me by without the knowledge I have now, because I would have liked to have gained a greater appreciation of the female form pressed against my hard, combat-tested body.
The woman nods understandingly.
It’s not as though I’m indifferent towards woman or don’t see people sexually. I can’t help myself when it comes to that. But as a natural hunter, I’m not going to jump into unfamiliar waters with both feet without scouting my prey and gaining a greater understanding of it. My match with Miss Smith was a true missed opportunity in this regard because your laws make it difficult for me to simply discover my sexuality with any simple street walker.
Woman: I’m sure that has a lot to do with you not understanding how conjugal interest is expressed in civilized society. Am I right?
Kravinoff smiles warmly and nods.
Hunter: Of course. You see, in the jungle –
Kravinoff is cut off by the sound of a door slamming shut in the background. Kravinoff and the woman turn to see Wasabi Toyota coming over to the ring in a black leotard. Toyota eyeballs the woman before turning his attention to his tag team partner.
Wasabi: I thought this was a closed training session.
Hunter: Is there a problem?
Wasabi: No, I’ve just… never done it in front of anyone before.
Hunter: It’s okay, Wasabi. You’re among friends.
Kravinoff looks to the woman, smiles warmly, and then gazes back at Toyota.
Wasabi Toyota, I’d like you to meet Naomi Bit.
Bit shakes Toyota’s hand but is caught off guard when he bows deeply and kisses her hand for what feels like more than a moment. He then stands straight up and reciprocates the handshake as Bit smiles awkwardly.
Wasabi: A pleasure.
Naomi: Same.
Hunter: She’s working on a documentary about my life and my experiences in modern society that she plans to sell to a nature channel.
Wasabi: Fancy that! I’m an integral part of Hunter’s experiences in modern society. I guess you’ll be wanting to spend extensive time interviewing me.
Toyota smiles widely. Bit politely returns the gesture.
Naomi: Absolutely!
Wasabi looks extremely excited at the prospect, shifting his weight so that he’s almost dancing on the spot. While doing this, he grins giddily and looks straight at Kravinoff.
Wasabi: Are we gonna start?
Hunter: Not right this second. Naomi and I have a couple more things to touch on.
Wasabi: Right then. I’ll just do some more warming up.
Toyota gets in the ring, walks over to the far corner, places his right foot on the top turnbuckle and stretches as Kravinoff turns his attention back to Bit.
Naomi: You two are so right for each other.
Hunter: It’s nice that you think so. Some WZCW fans haven’t been so kind. They think I’m just using him to get what I want.
Kravinoff turns back to Toyota and sees him doing the splits in the ring and leaning to his side, reaching for his left foot. After a moment, he turns back to Bit and continues.
I don’t know how they can’t believe in me. I’ve been on a path of destruction since returning to WZCW. Eventually they’ll have to take notice and see the animal I am…
Kravinoff trails off for a moment a lowers his head before composing himself and looking up at Naomi.
Thank goodness you see it.
Naomi: Everyone will see soon enough, Hunt. Our film will dispel all doubts and shed the light on the cold, merciless beast of man that I know.
Kravinoff smiles a confident smile. He seems to enjoy what he’s heard, disturbingly so. Naomi returns his smile.
I have faith in you. And if WZCW isn’t going to dedicate time to showing people how serious you are, well it’s my duty as a journalist to document this and make sure the public is informed. The ignorance surrounding you has to stop… It just makes me so… angry!
Naomi is fuming at this point.
The way they turn their noses up at someone they don’t understand… It’s infuriating! I don’t understand why you’d want to grace these PEONS with your company. They don’t deserve a real relationship with you. You’re too good for society!
Hunter’s smile widens as he opens his mouth to speak… and pauses for a moment to appreciate the scope of Bit's conviction.
Hunter: They give me what less sophisticated animals never could: Understanding. I’m nothing if not a hopeless romantic who goes for that kind of stuff. It’s the next frontier in my safari.
Naomi: You’re so generous for including us.
Kravinoff looks back at Toyota, who is now on his back, lifting one leg at a time.
Hunter: Well, Naomi…
He looks back to Bit.
…this Sunday at Apocalypse, I’m going to be even more generous than I’ve already been when I include Baker and Baller in my story. We’re going to get to know each other very well.
Naomi: And that’s why we’re in the gym today? To film you preparing for your greatest WZCW challenge to date?
Hunter: Indeed.
Naomi: So, what’s the plan? A bit of sparring? Have you called in another tag team to train with you?
Hunter: Absolutely not. Nothing that ordinary. Toyota’s trainer, Uncle Rocco, instilled in him a great technique for tag team workouts. It’s our secret weapon, our key to success. It’s going to get us in synch.
Naomi: What is it?
Hunter: Dancing.
Naomi: Dancing?
Hunter: Dancing.
Naomi looks confused as Kravinoff grows more gleeful by the second.
I know I’m new to partnering with someone who I can communicate intelligently with, but Uncle Rocco’s techniques seem to be well-informed. You see, we’ve developed some dance routines with him. Using them, we learn more about using out bodies as tools in synch with one another. It’s difficult work, but the connection is worth it. The routine prepares us aggressively for fighting as a unit.
Naomi: I think I understand.
Hunter: As Uncle Rocco always says: If you can dance together, you can win the World Tag Team Championships together.
Hunter rubs his hands together and continues.
It ought to pay off extremely well for us on Sunday. You see, as much as Toyota and I are on the same page, Baker and Baller have proven they aren’t to an equal degree. They’re aggressively mediocre as a tag team, arguing all the time and showing no respect to the gift that is communication. Have you ever seen me and the big man arguing?
Naomi: No, but I’ve just met Toyota…
Hunter: Exactly! It never happens. We’re a well oiled machine.
Kravinoff doesn’t seem to notice that he overlooked her response and Bit doesn’t seem so worked up that she’d mention it. Hunter pauses in contemplation for a moment before continuing.
Baker… Baker likes to take risks. Arguing with his partner, sending out explicit e-mails, flying off the top rope… He’s going to love getting in the ring with me. You see, he’s going to get more than his fill of risk on Sunday. Getting in the ring with Hunter Kravinoff is the biggest risk he’s ever taken in his life. The second he steps through those ropes, I’ll know he has more guts than brains. I’ll have seen the man inside him. At that point, it’s only a matter of time before I break him.
Naomi: What about Baller?
Hunter: Baller?
Kravinoff chuckles softly.
Baller thought it’d be a good idea to cost Heavy Artillery their title shot. Just like all of WZCW’s worthless, ignorant fans, Baller doesn’t believe in me and what I’m capable of. That will be his undoing. And when Toyota and I are the WZCW World Tag Team Champions, Baller’s misstep in our contenders match will be what Baker looks back on. Those guys are finally going to have something worth arguing over.
Naomi: What do the tag titles mean to you?
Kravinoff pauses once more, lowering his head and closing his eyes. After a moment, he looks at Bit with rejuvenated conviction.
Hunter: Everything.
The WZCW World Tag Team Championships represent the strength of the bond between me and Toyota and our unwavering ability as hunters. They show that we are the finest unit in the ‘Z, and they’re our ticket to greatness. My ticket to the belief of the audience. People will sit up and take notice. If not at Apocalypse, then soon. Because more than anything, the WZCW World Tag Team Championships are the ultimate bait. No longer do I need to seek out my prey. They’ll come to me, willing to stand in my way. The lure of the belts, the lure of prestige, money, and glory will bring many a foolhardy contender into my jungle. And one by one, many a foolhardy contender will fall.
Bit's breathing seems to be growing more shallow with Kravinoff's every word.
Naomi: That’s very powerful.
Hunter: Your eyes are open. You know the truth. So I’m sure you can feel my words. Anyone who can’t is going to… soon enough. Anyone who thinks this is empty talk will look back on it differently in six months or a year. With the belts and your documentary… I’ll have them right where I want them.
Just wait until after we've won the belts. Titles in hand, a new era in the tag division begins. Similar to Jaws, our first act ends this Sunday when we bag a tiger shark. But I want a great white. I’ve had great whites. But now people need to see me bag the great whites. I need them to know. And they will.
Naomi: You’ve had great whites!
Hunter: You know it, little lady.
Naomi: You have to tell me more. Shark Week is a huge inspiration in my work.
Hunter: I’m sure I can find time to discuss it. But right now, I need to dance. I beg your leave.
She nods as Kravinoff gets up and climbs through the ropes, joining his partner in the squared circle.
