One thing that was always drilled into my thick skull throughout my childhood, and even into my adult years, was the ability to create a plan. It was a requirement for me to conjure up a schedule, and stick to it, otherwise my life would turn into complete chaos. On the farms, my parents would demand a list of chores from me, and should I not complete any of those tasks - sometimes not sticking to an order - I would be punished. As I was learning the tricks of the modelling trade, my mentor would berate me for not visualising every photo shoot, interview, and fashion affair for the week. Then you have the whole going to school and church thing, and the constant planning around airline times... my life had to be planned, and I could never deviate from the plan. It frustrated me to no end. Why couldn't I just do whatever the hell I wanted to do? Why did I have to follow instruction? What was the point of creating a to-do list, knowing every little detail about your life in the future, and achieve exactly that? Why couldn't I be a little spontaneous? Having these kinds of thoughts earned me the reputation of having a thick skull for learning. I know I'm not exactly an intellectual, but I wasn't stupid. I just wanted to be free from these chains for once in my life, and just do whatever.
Over the past few weeks, I've experience what it was like to just go with the flow. Everything I wished to achieve up until this point was accomplished. Even when plans failed, just like the Lethal Lottery, I found an alternate method to achieve something greater, such as facing, and defeating, my dream opponent. But once Kingdom Come finished, I felt... a little lost. I really didn't know what was next for me. What happens when you challenge the person who you consider to be the final boss, and you slay them? What happens to the protagonist of the story when they finally take down the antagonist? The story ends, doesn't it? There isn't anything else afterwards. When a character in a video game destroys the final boss, the character has no more main story left to complete. They have completed the game. That's what it feels like for me. It felt like Celeste Crimson was the final boss, and there hasn't been a new main story quest for me to finish. She was the final mission. I did what I've always wanted to do, and I got my wish of not having any plans... but it was a bittersweet feeling. It felt as if there was nothing left for me to do.
So, like any other normal human being would do in this situation, I decided to take a long walk deep into Mother Nature under the midnight skies. A young attractive female model taking a stroll into the woods, all alone, in the middle of the night, by herself, miles away from any known civilisation, without any sense of direction. It's a stupid idea, I know, but whilst I'm still under this notion of not planning anything, I might as well do something completely random and idiotic as this. Luckily for me, it was a full moon, so the darkness that surrounded my every move wasn't nearly as threatening. Even luckier was that I could see without having to adjust to night vision, so I was able to avoid walking straight into the very still lake at the end of the track. If the moon hadn't been so bright on this wonderfully warm night, I probably would've caused myself a little bit of fright by stepping into water. In fact, if it weren't for the light, I probably would've kept walking into the lake, and not stopped walking until my head was below the surface... okay, maybe not that extreme, but it in the mood I've been in, it wouldn't surprise me to believe I could've attempted to walk underwater. Probably the luckiest thing of them all was that I decided to sit down near the water's edge, and stare into the silent surface of the water. It awarded me the time to reflect.
"Why are you wandering aimlessly, Eve?" I asked myself.
Pretty pointless question, if I can be critical. I had just explained the answer to that very question, and yet I still felt the need to ask it again, but in the form of my own voice, and not as a thought swimming around in my brain. Come to think of it, maybe that was the reason I wasn't opposed to diving underneath the water. To swim amongst my thoughts. To dive beneath, and collect it all in. I mean, I've been with my thoughts many times, and there are many times where my thoughts manifest into the real world, but I've never physically dived into my brain. I reached my hand out towards the water, wishing to caress the surface... but I hesitated, not wanting to disturb the peaceful stillness.
"This is stupid." I attempted convincing myself.
These words landed on deaf ears, for I refused to move from this position. I wasn't compelled to head back. I remained at the water's edge with my eyes skimming across the water, trying my best to see what lies underneath. What was really under the water? What was underneath the surface? What did I really want?
"I've got an important match against Flex Mussel upcoming."
This wasn't exactly what I wanted. A match against my former Cerberus brethren? That part of my life was over. Cerberus had our run under the comforting lights of the full moon, howling together as we teared through WZCW. We took over together, we dominated together, and we fought together... until the day Cerberus imploded from our own ego's. We had our final battle at Kingdom Come already, and I walked out the victor. All three heads of Cerberus went our own ways, and this was meant to be the final chapter of our story. Why is there an epilogue?
"It's for a World Championship opportunity."
This was exactly what I wanted. For the longest time, I aimed my sights at being the best. For a while there, I thought I was already the best. I proclaimed my greatness as a wrestler before I achieved it. Every time I shattered a record, and every time I broke ground as a female competitor, I shouted my achievements to the world every day to remind them that I was great. During my reigns as a champion, I held that title high and threw that fact in everyone's face. I did whatever I could to make myself the talk of the town. However, the reality of it all was that for one to be considered the best, one must acquire the World championship.
"This is my first one-on-one opportunity."
Indeed, the only other times I've ever had the chance at achieving the World title has been through the Lethal Lottery on three separate occasions. Granted, the first two times, I wasn't ready for the Lottery. My inaugural Lottery, I was too focused on my new bonds with Cerberus. The next Lottery I was exhausted from my match against James Howard when I captured the Elite Openweight championship, despite putting on a clinic in the Lottery, too. But the final one... I was ready to take it all. Yet, I failed to capitalise on my momentum. And now? I finally get the chance to fight for the World title at Apocalypse. My first ever number one contenders match.
"I've been working hard to earn this opportunity. Everything I've sacrificed was to be in this position."
So why do I feel directionless? Why do feelings of indifference and carelessness flow through my veins? Maybe I never thought this moment would finally happen. After all the hardships, I didn't think it was possible for me to get here. Possibly, the pressure is mounted on top of me so much that I wanted to find an escape... or, perhaps it was because I was facing Flex Mussel again after I thought that our paths would never crossed again. For my sanity, this was the reason I chose to believe.
"Flex Mussel wants this opportunity just as bad, if not more than I do. He's been rampaging through everybody only for his voice to be heard, and to proclaim he is the next challenger."
He sounded a lot like the Eve Taylor of 2015 when I was the Elite Openweight champion, and I didn't care about anyone else but me. All I wanted was for people to acknowledge me as the best. If this comparison is apt, then Flex is real hungry for opportunity.
"Ever since the days of the wolves had died, Flex has been targeting the very best in the industry. He's gone after singles championship gold. He's gone after the legends of the business. And now, he's going after the biggest prize one can accomplish."
Many people could easily compare our careers by this statement. Our time as singles competitors since Cerberus has been almost identical. Great championship matches. Facing off against legends in our industry, and defeating them. And now, a warpath for the championship.
"Flex had defeated the legend of Matt Tastic at Kingdom Come. Flex drove away a competitor I could never defeat in Theron Daggershield. Flex even permanently retired one of, if not, the best wrestler in WZCW history 'Showtime' Cougar... all for his voice to carry some weight when he spoke; when he asked for a World title shot, the people would listen."
It was an impressive record I, nor could anyone else, deny from Flex. He essentially took the careers of three great wrestlers so that one could succeed. What Flex failed to realise, was that for him to get to the position he wanted, he had an obstacle standing in his way that has achieved so much more.
"Flex's achievement didn't happen overnight. They took time to manifest. In fact, this is the story of Mussel's life as a wrestler. His achievements didn't happen on the first opportunity."
I lifted my head towards the sky, staring at the full moon. It was if the moon reminded me of the Cerberus days, making my memories clear.
"When Cerberus first came on the scene, there was only two heads. Flex Mussel & Ramparte. Everybody laughed at them. 'How could a team of two people call themselves Cerberus? Don't you need three people?' is what they said. Many people thought of them as a joke. Even though the two were raw talent, it took them a while to mesh together. Flex did not become the tag team success he claims to be on their first outing, even if the first time Cerberus wrestled as a team was a victory against myself in my debut. No, Flex wasn't great from the start. It took time. There were losses. There were times of under-performing. There was a lot of doubt this team could last for the long run. When Flex finally earned the opportunity to challenge for the Tag Team championships, I was there by his side watching at ringside. The Lethal Lottery of 2014 was the only time I was there by the side of Cerberus. The first major opportunity in Flex Mussel's career as a tag team wrestler, I was there... and if it wasn't for me, Flex would not have been champion."
I did not say this because I am vain. No, this is an actual fact. Anyone who wishes to fact check me could switch over to the Network, find the match between Young Justice and Cerberus for the Tag Team championships, and they'll see that I was the one who interfered in the match, and changed the result of the match at the last second. The referee was about to count three for a success Young Justice title defence, but it was by my hands that Flex was able to walk out Tag Team champion, and begin his reign atop the division.
"When Flex became champion, he did not hold the Tag Team titles for long. The very first major title defence at Kingdom Come against Hard Metal Penetration resulted in a loss. Even when Flex managed to achieve what he aspired to be, it didn't take him overnight to become the success he says he is today. He did become a success, and he became one of the two men to be involved in the best tag team to ever exist... but it didn't happen on his first time."
I stood up from my position and dipped my feet in, looking down into the reflection of the water. All I could see was the full moon. The disturbances from my feet caused the water to ripple, and the reflection of the moon appeared shattered, reminding me of the destruction of Cerberus.
"Flex then begin his tirade on establishing himself as a singles wrestler, taking down legend after legend and challenging for singles gold... but it didn't happen on his first time. The first ever opportunity Flex got to fight on his own, he had to face me. Again, I was there for the first time in the newest chapter of his career. We fought for a championship that I had already earned, and won. I was carrying around the title that made me successful, and established me as a legitimate singles competitor. This was the dream he wanted, but I wanted it more. Thus, I defeated him. He was determined, though, and his first loss did not deter him. He tried many times after that, focusing his attention towards the legend of Titus Avison and the Eurasian championship. Again, he failed. It wasn't until he faced Showtime Cougar that he began his rampage across the legends, and into the potential contender he is today... but it didn't happen on his first time."
Do you notice a pattern yet? I noticed it, and that pattern was looking to happen again at Apocalypse.
"And now, Flex is on the warpath to becoming the World champion. The beginning of his warpath to becoming the very best in the industry. As with the intention of Apocalypse, he is looking to leave behind an old chapter, and start a new beginning. He wants that World title. He is very hungry for that World title. It is all he wants. It is the only thing he needs. He does not care what he has to do to get there, because no matter what, Flex will be, at the very least, a World championship contender... but it will not happen at Apocalypse. Why? Because this is Flex's first attempt at the World championship, and for his first attempt, I am here."
Do you see it now?
"For the third time Flex wishes to start a new chapter in his life, I am here to greet him. I was there when he formed the Cerberus tag team. I was there for his first attempt at being a singles competitor. And now, I am here for his first major World championship opportunity. History dictates that Flex Mussel has never won on the first attempt. He is not the kind of person to achieve greatness on his first attempt. Flex will eventually achieve amazing success, as history also dictates. He has compiled an amazing resume over the years, and no doubt, he will one day become a World champion... but this is his first attempt, and I am standing in the way. I am not on his side like I was when I helped him win his first tag team title. I was against him when I defeated him in his first chance at singles title glory. He cannot do it alone, and he cannot best me."
With history on my side, and knowing full well Flex Mussel has yet to defeat me in an environment where it is proven he can't beat me, why do I still feel directionless? When I attempted to seek knowledge on the subject, I concluded the answer was because I was facing Flex Mussel again. Yet, the arguments I've presented seem to negate Flex being the real reason for my hesitancy. In fact, the reason why I felt directionless was because of me. For the first time ever, I'm getting my opportunity at the World title, something I've been aiming to achieve longer than Flex had been complaining about not receiving. My whole career has been about being the best, and about getting the top. Now, I finally have the opportunity to get there, and I feel frozen in time. No, I want to be frozen in time. I could see it in my eyes as I stared directly at my reflection in the water.
"Everything I have ever wanted comes to fruition, and the only thing I can do is procrastinate and run away from my problems, hoping that time will pass me by, and I can re-emerge on the other side without any problems. Somehow, I believe that I will be okay, and that history will be there for me. I can lean on my history against Flex, watch on like an out of body experience, and come back to me when the pressure is gone. I know it is not to be true, but I wish it to be, and this is what makes me weak. This is exactly the kind of thinking I employed when I went to win the Lethal Lottery. I had already made it a forgone conclusion because everyone thought I was the best, and everyone thought me the favourite... except me. I can't let that happen again. No, I can't that happen again."
I needed to cleanse my mind of that thought, for it had begun to settle in. I had just ranted and raved about me being better than Flex, and his insecurities, that I forgot about my own. For me to stand any chance to win this match, and for me to achieve what I want to accomplish, I need to cleanse my thoughts and start fresh.
I stared down at the water. I stared at my reflection. I did not like my reflection. It needed to change. So, slowly, I began to undress. I took off every item of clothing I could until I was standing as naked as the day as I was born. I stood in the lake as mother nature intended for me to be. I stripped away everything for my body so I could strip away everything from my mind. If I were to cleanse myself of my thoughts, everything that led me to this position needed to be removed. I needed to do this.
I took one step further into the lake, with the water inviting me into the lake. I kept walking, step-by-step, deeper into the lake, submerging myself. I kept walking until I was waist deep. This was when I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and I dove into the water. I went underneath the surface, with my eyes closed, feeling the water drenching me. Drowning me. Drowning all of my doubts. Drowning all of my anxiety. Drowning the arrogance and the cockiness I possessed. This was the apocalypse of the Eve Taylor who thought she was already the best. As I felt the last breath escape my lungs, I resurfaced, opening my eyes. I flicked my hair back, and let the water shower down upon me. It was a refreshing feeling, and already I felt better. More confident. More determined. This was the new beginning of the Eve Taylor who was going to fight for the chance to be considered the best.
...
...
...
As Eve left the lake, and got back on shore, she turned back to see the reflection once more. It was a different Eve Taylor, this much she could tell. She was one who was ready to fight, and break the World championship dry spell. Flex Mussel didn't seem to bother her, but for reasons not already said. She knew it was going to be hard fought battle; she was prepared for the fight ahead. What differed is her approach, and how she thought. Something was different this time. She was no longer swimming among her thoughts. She no longer sat in her mind, talking to herself in the first-person. She was no longer hiding in her head, and wishing for the world to keep going without her. She wanted the world to include her. She wanted the world to involve her again. It was someone else talking about her, and she was the one controlling their speech. She was in control. The fire she had when she wanted to be the best came back. Eve Taylor was back.
"As much as Flex may want the title." Eve told her own reflection. "I want it more. I've been wanting for this opportunity longer than Flex has. I've been fighting for this opportunity with my valour and honour than he has. I've been sacrificing more for this opportunity than he has This World championship opportunity is mine to take, and for Flex to learn from his mistakes. This Eve Taylor has got the world on her shoulders, and she is representing the women of this company. I am representing everybody in the world who has ever doubted themselves, and for everyone who has lost everything just to achieve their goals. I am here because I want to be the best wrestler in the world. I am here to claim my opportunity at the World Championship. I am here to show the world that I can't be stopped. I will not let Flex Mussel stop me. I will not fall to him like the others have fallen. I will not go away. I will not give up. For at Apocalypse, I will become the next challenger for the World championship. I will face the World champion. I will fight with every bone in my body to become the first-ever World champion, and solidify myself as the best... and, most importantly, at Apocalypse, I will know exactly who I am, and I will show the world what it means to be Eve Taylor."
