Richard Blonoff
Make America Rassle Again
Deadline is Tuesday, October 22nd, 11:59 PM(CST)
All Stars 3: The Highwayman vs. Monroe
- Thread starter Richard Blonoff
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On a moonlit park bench, a waify young man was palming a silver goblet. His pale, smooth chest was covered only barely by an even lighter, partly-buttoned silk shirt and a platinum ankh-like pendant that dangled from a fragile golden chain. His wispy auburn hair blew whimsically in the caress of the gentle midnight breeze. His name was Alexander Monroe Bartholomew Jameson Raventhorne-Helms III and he was inspecting the contents of the receptacle. The dark crimson liquid swirled around in the chalice and he took a sip.
Best five-year-old Ive had in ages...
He put away the bottle of pinot noir as his new acquaintance, Lizzy Burton, arrived on the scene. Her pitch black bangs flowed sluggishly toward the sides of her head as she catwalked toward the fair-skinned man. Having been disappointed by darkdate.org.fin before, she was wary to get her expectations get the better of her. Her dates lavishly applied eyeliner was certainly not winning her over.
You must be B4ttyB01_1742, then?
Monroe erected his slender frame. When he spoke, his tone was a hushed and breathy whisper.
Well-met, Elizabeth, I am the one they call... Monroe.
After making an elaborate display of bowing to her, Monroe held Lizzys left hand to his glossy lips. He felt the arms reluctance, but as a gentleman of the new school he was not one to take kindly to subtlety.
Actually,
...he said after not being fed the line that he was looking for...
...the pleasure... is all mine.
Looking Lizzy in the eye, Monroe kissed her hand. At first, Lizzy was charmed, but she retracted her hand when Monroe started to tongue the skin between her fingers.
Yeah... no.
The first of two reflections went through Monroes inner monologue as his former future lover strutted away into the night.
How is it possible that a woman could wear a blouse like Lizzys, made almost entirely of black lace, yet still cover up the necessary areas?
The initial consideration inevitably gave way to the second.
Do they make one in my size?
Monroe recovered his rawhide leather satchel from the dewy park lawn and crammed the wine and the goblets into it, before sliding it over his bony shoulder. With a few hours to kill before sunrise, he decided to comb the suburbs for courtship and cuisine. As is the case with the haemoglobinally challenged, the two desires were usually not mutually exclusive.
*****
Walking as far as his skin-tight leather trousers would allow, Monroe eventually stumbled across a woman in her fifties. Near the unremarkable towns liquor store, on the corner of Sixth and White Street, she was clutching her cheap plastic handbag to her revealingly short sequenced t-shirt. A bedazzled copper medallion hung from her neck in the form of the word Foxy.
Excuse me, madam, but... are you lost?
Depends on whos asking. You look like youre looking for a party?
A party? No, but I could use some company. Allow me to introduce myself...
Monroe did an even more elaborate bow than the first, extending his right leg to the side and fluttering his left hand upwards.
I am Alexander Monroe Bartholomew Jameson Raventhorne-Helms... the third.
He took the womans hand by the painted purple nails.
Annnnd you are?
Candy...
He placed a peck this time on the womans spotted, tobacco scented hand. Carefully, Monroe emptied the contents of his satchel. He poured out two glasses and handed one over to Candy.
This isnt drugged, is it?
Monroe burst out laughing maniacally, breaking his husky tone of voice for the first time, but regressed back to it soon enough.
Oh... you ARE a treat. Tell me, what is a fine lady such as yourself doing all alone in this ashen-cloaked eve?
Cant you tell? Im a working girl.
Oh, but of course. I am a working man, as well. I am a labourer of love, an artisan of attraction and an employee of eternal endearment.
Say what n-
Monroe lunged at the womans side and led her by the arm.
Walk with me, Candice...
Taking care to avoid any moving water, vegetable stores with garlic in the window displays and billboards with fonts that make the ts look like crosses, Monroe took Candy on a late night saunter. They only stopped twice during their enchanting stroll once to admire the radiant crescent moon and once when they neared the police station and Candy suddenly felt an impulse to head off in the opposite direction. At roughly four oclock in the morning, the two of them returned to the liquor store where first they met.
Ah, I see this is a liquor store where first we met.
Indeed!
I must bid you adieu, my strange and intriguing creature, for the morrow draws nigh and I am but on foot.
Having humoured this strangest of strange client, Gladys (for that was her real name) became visibly annoyed with this eccentric yet boring man.
Mister, are you going to give me a job or what? And straight off the bat, Ill let you know that coming inside costs extra.
Im afraid I will have to decline, my sweet lady, since I am but a self-sufficient unit in the everlasting quest to find the person that will complete me. As inviting an offer to be allowed inside your house is, I fear that I shall have to decline once more. This life of shadow is not one for such a delicate flower such as yourself.
As soon as he said flower, Monroe made a long-stemmed, pitch black rose appear whether by infernal, mystic might or by weeks of online close-up magic classes is his own secret. He laid down the rose at his friends feet and skulked off. Affording himself one last, long, lingering look, Monroe eventually returned to his apartment before sunrise.
*****
A knock at the dressing room door was followed by none other than Johnny Klamor. Monroes expression changes to listless melancholy.
Im here for the interview. Whats wrong, Count Dracula?
Oh, nothing... I just had more material for Becky in this situation.
Klamor gives a puzzled glance at one of the dressing room walls, but moves on.
Your opponent this week is The Highway Man. Thoughts? Make it quick, the shows about to start without us!
Highway Man, I know what it is like to search for a part of yourself in someone else I once lost a thumb ring inside Kirsten Stewart but I also know what its like to search your whole life for the right lover. I am truly glad that you have found your soul-mate in James Franco. I hope the two of you can be happy together.
Monroe wiped a bloody tear from his eye, only to pause for a few moments. He blinked twice, yet his eyes were completely dry. Another drop of blood fell onto his cheek. Monroe and Klamor both looked up to see Lizzy Burton, on all fours and fangs fully extended, clinging to the ceiling of the dressing room. A bloody Backstage Bob was clamped in her mouth and slowly dripping blood onto Monroes face. While Klamor ran away in panic, Monroe was unable to move.
Well, Ill be fucked a vampire!
Best five-year-old Ive had in ages...
He put away the bottle of pinot noir as his new acquaintance, Lizzy Burton, arrived on the scene. Her pitch black bangs flowed sluggishly toward the sides of her head as she catwalked toward the fair-skinned man. Having been disappointed by darkdate.org.fin before, she was wary to get her expectations get the better of her. Her dates lavishly applied eyeliner was certainly not winning her over.
You must be B4ttyB01_1742, then?
Monroe erected his slender frame. When he spoke, his tone was a hushed and breathy whisper.
Well-met, Elizabeth, I am the one they call... Monroe.
After making an elaborate display of bowing to her, Monroe held Lizzys left hand to his glossy lips. He felt the arms reluctance, but as a gentleman of the new school he was not one to take kindly to subtlety.
Actually,
...he said after not being fed the line that he was looking for...
...the pleasure... is all mine.
Looking Lizzy in the eye, Monroe kissed her hand. At first, Lizzy was charmed, but she retracted her hand when Monroe started to tongue the skin between her fingers.
Yeah... no.
The first of two reflections went through Monroes inner monologue as his former future lover strutted away into the night.
How is it possible that a woman could wear a blouse like Lizzys, made almost entirely of black lace, yet still cover up the necessary areas?
The initial consideration inevitably gave way to the second.
Do they make one in my size?
Monroe recovered his rawhide leather satchel from the dewy park lawn and crammed the wine and the goblets into it, before sliding it over his bony shoulder. With a few hours to kill before sunrise, he decided to comb the suburbs for courtship and cuisine. As is the case with the haemoglobinally challenged, the two desires were usually not mutually exclusive.
*****
Walking as far as his skin-tight leather trousers would allow, Monroe eventually stumbled across a woman in her fifties. Near the unremarkable towns liquor store, on the corner of Sixth and White Street, she was clutching her cheap plastic handbag to her revealingly short sequenced t-shirt. A bedazzled copper medallion hung from her neck in the form of the word Foxy.
Excuse me, madam, but... are you lost?
Depends on whos asking. You look like youre looking for a party?
A party? No, but I could use some company. Allow me to introduce myself...
Monroe did an even more elaborate bow than the first, extending his right leg to the side and fluttering his left hand upwards.
I am Alexander Monroe Bartholomew Jameson Raventhorne-Helms... the third.
He took the womans hand by the painted purple nails.
Annnnd you are?
Candy...
He placed a peck this time on the womans spotted, tobacco scented hand. Carefully, Monroe emptied the contents of his satchel. He poured out two glasses and handed one over to Candy.
This isnt drugged, is it?
Monroe burst out laughing maniacally, breaking his husky tone of voice for the first time, but regressed back to it soon enough.
Oh... you ARE a treat. Tell me, what is a fine lady such as yourself doing all alone in this ashen-cloaked eve?
Cant you tell? Im a working girl.
Oh, but of course. I am a working man, as well. I am a labourer of love, an artisan of attraction and an employee of eternal endearment.
Say what n-
Monroe lunged at the womans side and led her by the arm.
Walk with me, Candice...
Taking care to avoid any moving water, vegetable stores with garlic in the window displays and billboards with fonts that make the ts look like crosses, Monroe took Candy on a late night saunter. They only stopped twice during their enchanting stroll once to admire the radiant crescent moon and once when they neared the police station and Candy suddenly felt an impulse to head off in the opposite direction. At roughly four oclock in the morning, the two of them returned to the liquor store where first they met.
Ah, I see this is a liquor store where first we met.
Indeed!
I must bid you adieu, my strange and intriguing creature, for the morrow draws nigh and I am but on foot.
Having humoured this strangest of strange client, Gladys (for that was her real name) became visibly annoyed with this eccentric yet boring man.
Mister, are you going to give me a job or what? And straight off the bat, Ill let you know that coming inside costs extra.
Im afraid I will have to decline, my sweet lady, since I am but a self-sufficient unit in the everlasting quest to find the person that will complete me. As inviting an offer to be allowed inside your house is, I fear that I shall have to decline once more. This life of shadow is not one for such a delicate flower such as yourself.
As soon as he said flower, Monroe made a long-stemmed, pitch black rose appear whether by infernal, mystic might or by weeks of online close-up magic classes is his own secret. He laid down the rose at his friends feet and skulked off. Affording himself one last, long, lingering look, Monroe eventually returned to his apartment before sunrise.
*****
A knock at the dressing room door was followed by none other than Johnny Klamor. Monroes expression changes to listless melancholy.
Im here for the interview. Whats wrong, Count Dracula?
Oh, nothing... I just had more material for Becky in this situation.
Klamor gives a puzzled glance at one of the dressing room walls, but moves on.
Your opponent this week is The Highway Man. Thoughts? Make it quick, the shows about to start without us!
Highway Man, I know what it is like to search for a part of yourself in someone else I once lost a thumb ring inside Kirsten Stewart but I also know what its like to search your whole life for the right lover. I am truly glad that you have found your soul-mate in James Franco. I hope the two of you can be happy together.
Monroe wiped a bloody tear from his eye, only to pause for a few moments. He blinked twice, yet his eyes were completely dry. Another drop of blood fell onto his cheek. Monroe and Klamor both looked up to see Lizzy Burton, on all fours and fangs fully extended, clinging to the ceiling of the dressing room. A bloody Backstage Bob was clamped in her mouth and slowly dripping blood onto Monroes face. While Klamor ran away in panic, Monroe was unable to move.
Well, Ill be fucked a vampire!
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